Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 2: What's your name? Hi?
Speaker 3: My name's Amber.
Speaker 2: Amber. What's going on? Amber? How's life today?
Speaker 3: Doing good? How are you?
Speaker 2: Gek? You know I'm doing okay. Today was a bit
Speaker 2: of a crap shoot, But you know, I thought I
Speaker 2: was done. I thought I was done with crap shoots.
Speaker 2: But crap shoots, I don't know if you've ever really
Speaker 2: done with them.
Speaker 4: But anyway, it keeps coming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it keeps coming. But you deal with it, you
Speaker 2: manage it, you figure out how to keep going. Well,
Speaker 2: what's up, Amber? Would you want to talk about today?
Speaker 3: I kind of wanted to talk about a recent situation
Speaker 3: I got myself into. So I recently got like a
Speaker 3: meta quest dr headset and I've been playing this game
Speaker 3: called dr Chat and it's a lot of fun. Essentially,
Speaker 3: it's like chat room style. And I ran into a
Speaker 3: very interesting character the other night, literally like three nights ago,
Speaker 3: and I was a little bit drunk of drinking, having
Speaker 3: a good time with couples friends, and we ended up
Speaker 3: just chatting, kind of flirting a little bit. Well flirting
Speaker 3: kind of led to a little bit more. Uh ended
Speaker 3: up doing a little bit of sexting, a little bit
Speaker 3: of cam stuff, and Uh, the night. Afterwards, he messaged
Speaker 3: me and was like, hey, okay, hold on, hold.
Speaker 2: On, hold on, I want I want you to finish this.
Speaker 2: I want you to finish this story. But before you do,
Speaker 2: I have I have a lot of questions.
Speaker 3: This happened very quickly too.
Speaker 2: When you are when you say that you were guys
Speaker 2: were sexting and doing cam stuff, now VR chat your
Speaker 2: your different characters right, like was he knuckles the echidna
Speaker 2: and you were like Princess Peach? Like what were or
Speaker 2: was it just like were you were you sexting in character? Uh?
Speaker 3: No, So we took it to discord.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, who was his carrot? Who was his character?
Speaker 3: Honestly, it was like some e boy style thing. It
Speaker 3: was actually not even my type of thing. But he
Speaker 3: was pretty smooth, I gotta say, uh for a young adult.
Speaker 3: He was like twenty two.
Speaker 2: Okay, can I ask how old you are?
Speaker 3: I'm thirty three.
Speaker 2: And I'm curious why, like did you you never like
Speaker 2: saw this guy's face, did you? And like like when
Speaker 2: you when you brought him? When you when you brought
Speaker 2: I guess I guess like this is the extremely online
Speaker 2: version of like bringing someone back home from the bar
Speaker 2: is bringing them into a private discord server essentially, And
Speaker 2: what was it about him?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, But so I'm curious what was it about him?
Speaker 2: Because I assume you couldn't see his face? What was
Speaker 2: it about him that attracted you to that point where
Speaker 2: you guys were doing that stuff if you didn't even
Speaker 2: know what he looked like?
Speaker 3: To be honest, he was kind of sweet, a little flirty,
Speaker 3: but not like too heavy handed flirty. You know, you run
Speaker 3: into guys and they go like, ooh, a little uncomfortable. Sure,
Speaker 3: And I was also quite inebriated, so of course I
Speaker 3: let my body do the talking for myself.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So you guys were like sexting as
Speaker 2: real human beings.
Speaker 3: As real human beings.
Speaker 2: And were you did you like like when you answered
Speaker 2: the like I guess when you do that with a stranger, right,
Speaker 2: like when you answer the video call? Are you already naked?
Speaker 2: Or is there a little bit of high what's your name?
Speaker 2: I'm so and so nice to meet you?
Speaker 3: So not originally naked? It was super super lated at night,
Speaker 3: so of course, like in Pajannys the like, not super
Speaker 3: like covered up, did a little bit of talking of
Speaker 3: like Hi, how are you? The snee thisew kind of
Speaker 3: see each other. And then of course that escalated very quickly.
Speaker 3: And I don't know if you know much about vr chat,
Speaker 3: but there's a lot of personal toys that are long distance.
Speaker 4: WHOA what?
Speaker 2: How tell?
Speaker 3: How So there's like personal toys that you can download
Speaker 3: an app for and control from a distance.
Speaker 2: Okay, and so wait, so so you have like a
Speaker 2: vibrator that with an app and you can get you
Speaker 2: can you were You're like, hey, download this app and
Speaker 2: you can use the you can press a button that
Speaker 2: makes the vibrator work. While he's like, yes, interesting, I
Speaker 2: feel like I don't know why. Well, no, here's the
Speaker 2: thing is. I feel like like if I was hooking
Speaker 2: up with someone and they were like, hey, in order
Speaker 2: for us to do this, you have to download an app,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm just not gonna do it. I
Speaker 2: I can't. I'm I've been horny. And let me tell
Speaker 2: you something. I've been horny enough to put my credit
Speaker 2: card information in with one hand while I masturbate with
Speaker 2: the other one. But I will not download an app
Speaker 2: out of horniness.
Speaker 3: That is.
Speaker 2: Where I draw the line.
Speaker 3: That's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 2: Okay, so tell me more about this this situation.
Speaker 3: So that happens. The next morning, I wake up obviously
Speaker 3: super hungover. He messages me and tells me that he
Speaker 3: would like to buy me some gifts I have like
Speaker 3: in my bio on dr chat that I am saving
Speaker 3: for full body trackers, and I was.
Speaker 5: Like, hey, I.
Speaker 2: Full what is What are full body?
Speaker 3: Full body trackers? Essentially you can see entire movements in
Speaker 3: VR chat as opposed to just like hands or things
Speaker 3: like that, so it's a very like immersive experience. So
Speaker 3: I make a little wishless and I say little wishless.
Speaker 3: It was essentially everything that I would need for a
Speaker 3: startup of full body trackers, coming to about eleven hundred
Speaker 3: dollars worth of stuff. He messages me a couple hours
Speaker 3: later with a screenshot that he has purchased me my
Speaker 3: entire giftness and asked if I would come play video
Speaker 3: games with him that night. So, uh, me, being who
Speaker 3: I am, I was like, okay, well that's a lot.
Speaker 3: Felt a little bit uncomfortable in a way, but at
Speaker 3: the same time, I was like, like kind of wanted
Speaker 3: all this stuff, So I have a bit of a
Speaker 3: moral lima there ended up playing games and he's a
Speaker 3: super nice guy, definitely not my type, eleven years younger
Speaker 3: than me, so it's kind of weird. But I don't
Speaker 3: know what to do.
Speaker 2: You don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Basically, when I when I ended up logging into
Speaker 3: like play video games with him, I definitely made it
Speaker 3: super clear that I was like, hey, I'm not I
Speaker 3: don't want to like take these things with the intent
Speaker 3: of like being your girlfriend or anything like that. Like, essentially,
Speaker 3: this is a super transactional situation. So I will spend
Speaker 3: time with you if you buy anythings. And he was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: definitely wait wait.
Speaker 2: Wait, oh wait, okay, so you will you will be
Speaker 2: I'm I'm sorry if I if I'm getting this incorrect.
Speaker 2: But you said that, like, you won't be his girlfriend
Speaker 2: if he buys you stuff, but then you said you will.
Speaker 3: No, that I definitely won't be his girlfriend, but I
Speaker 3: would spend time with him, like play video games or
Speaker 3: whatnot for compensation.
Speaker 2: You will, you will spend time with him as long
Speaker 2: as he keeps buying you stuff.
Speaker 3: Essentially, yeah, and is that.
Speaker 2: Time implied by you to be purely platonic?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, why why do you want to spend time with
Speaker 2: this guy. I mean, is it just to get stuff? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Kind of like that's where my dilima because I've never
Speaker 3: been that kind of person. And I had this happen now,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, well, would it be foolish of me
Speaker 3: not to take that if that's what he wants to do?
Speaker 3: So funny enoughter like, I brought this up to my
Speaker 3: sister and I was like, hey, this is what happened,
Speaker 3: and she's like, you know, that's like a kink. It's
Speaker 3: called like pay pig of guys who essentially just want
Speaker 3: to buy you things and you treat them kind of
Speaker 3: like shit.
Speaker 2: Okay, this guy wants and you told and you were
Speaker 2: this guy wants you to treat him like shit in
Speaker 2: exchange for buying things for you. He's that he's expressed
Speaker 2: that to you, not in.
Speaker 3: Those words, but I've made my side clear on it.
Speaker 3: And he was like, yeah, no, I'm in, I'm game.
Speaker 2: Okay, what's your name? My name's Amber, amberm get I mean,
Speaker 2: get it get into this with me here, right, because
Speaker 2: look because look, well let me let me ask you.
Speaker 2: I mean I want to ask you a few things genuinely,
Speaker 2: is like, do you want do you want to Actually,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna ask I'm gonna ask you this straight up.
Speaker 2: Amber you said, yes, Do you like your life?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, what do you like about your life?
Speaker 3: I love my family, I have a great home. I
Speaker 3: work hard, I'm very successful. What I do am I
Speaker 3: not like filthy rich or anything like that. I do
Speaker 3: well off. I have a great set of friends and
Speaker 3: a great support system. And obviously, like it wasn't always
Speaker 3: like that in my life, but at this point in
Speaker 3: my life, I'm probably at the happiest I've been in
Speaker 3: a long time.
Speaker 2: Okay, do you Are you hoping to get into some
Speaker 2: form of romantic relationship.
Speaker 6: At some point?
Speaker 3: But I got out of a pretty shitty relationship about
Speaker 3: two years ago and since then have not really heavily
Speaker 3: seeked out one.
Speaker 2: Okay, So yeah, Well, I'm glad to hear that you
Speaker 2: like your life. That's good, Thank you. Do you do
Speaker 2: you believe that engaging in this situation, especially considering what
Speaker 2: you told me about how you seem like you're doing
Speaker 2: pretty okay financially, do you believe that engaging in this
Speaker 2: situation will improve your life.
Speaker 3: Materialistically? Potentially, but not in a not in like a
Speaker 3: mental or emotional way.
Speaker 2: Do you believe it has the potential to deteriorate your
Speaker 2: life in any mental or emotional way?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay?
Speaker 3: Do you never know what people online?
Speaker 2: Right? And and would you say that.
Speaker 4: It?
Speaker 2: Would it? Would you say? And? And by the way,
Speaker 2: you know these are just these are all genuine questions
Speaker 2: to answer. You know, I don't believe in they're being
Speaker 2: right or wrong answers necessarily to these questions. But uh,
Speaker 2: would would the material enrichment of your life to the
Speaker 2: tune of eleven hundred dollars of VR equipment be worth
Speaker 2: truly any amount of but be worth a undefined in
Speaker 2: your words, amount of mental anguish if you were to
Speaker 2: if you were to ask me, I would say no.
Speaker 2: If you were to ask me, I would say no,
Speaker 2: but I don't live your life. If you were asked me,
Speaker 2: I would say no, but I don't live your life.
Speaker 2: You live your life. And so you have to answer
Speaker 2: that question. But that's the question to ask.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, definitely, it wouldn't be worth it.
Speaker 2: No, So what do you do? Go? Enjoy your life?
Speaker 2: Get off? I mean I tried to go. I try
Speaker 2: to be passive in these calls, and I genuinely do
Speaker 2: believe that to be my favorite way of communicating with people.
Speaker 2: But also in the back of my head, I just
Speaker 2: want to be like, get the fuck off of vr chat.
Speaker 2: If you have such a great life, I mean, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: You know, so true, so true.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean, let this. I don't know what.
Speaker 2: I don't know what up with this uh this, this
Speaker 2: twenty two year old dude in vr chat who's like
Speaker 2: dropping Well, yeah, well, well it's I don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't know where he's getting his money from. I don't
Speaker 2: know if it's it's it's not. Yeah anyway, Yeah, for sure,
Speaker 2: I've learned. Every every time I, uh learn more about
Speaker 2: vr chat, I'm like I I walk away every Honestly,
Speaker 2: every time I learn more about vr chat, I walk
Speaker 2: away a little sadder.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: No you didn't do it. No, No, it's not your
Speaker 2: faults even at all. It's uh vrch everything, this, this,
Speaker 2: this situation. I'm you know, I have a vaguely I'm developed.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't think it's healthy, but I'm developing
Speaker 2: a vaguely deterministic view of society and so the situation
Speaker 2: that you're talking about, where it's like like everything, this
Speaker 2: entire the society that we live in, that's the basis
Speaker 2: of this phone call, almost feels like it could have
Speaker 2: been It was just inevitable, and now we're we have
Speaker 2: to navigate it with our human consciousness and choice or
Speaker 2: we don't or or or or our inability to do
Speaker 2: so is inevitable too. Okay, I'm wow, I'm I'm being
Speaker 2: a I'm being a I'm being a fucking I'm being
Speaker 2: a douchebag right now.
Speaker 3: You're all good?
Speaker 2: Amber? Is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Stay golden, beautiful, Okay, good luck Amber.
Speaker 2: That's what I don't get. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 2: know some people, dude, some people, And I I genuinely
Speaker 2: meant it. I was genuinely curious when I asked her
Speaker 2: if she liked her life, and I think she was
Speaker 2: telling the truth when she said she did. And I
Speaker 2: don't want to knock on people who play video games
Speaker 2: or spend a lot of time online, but I can't
Speaker 2: imagine that spending massive, massive, massive, massive massive amounts of
Speaker 2: time online to the point where you're you know, living
Speaker 2: in VR chat, staring at a VR mirror or whatever.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine that is compatible with being that happy
Speaker 2: with your life. But I and you know what and
Speaker 2: you know what, to meet someone, to talk to someone
Speaker 2: who is telling me that you actually can spend that
Speaker 2: much time online and declare yourself to enjoy your life.
Speaker 2: That actually makes me happy. So I actually I walk
Speaker 2: away from this VR chat related phone call more optimistic
Speaker 2: about the future. I would I would love to talk
Speaker 2: to the twenty two year old kid and ask him
Speaker 2: the same question, but he might not even be real,
Speaker 2: and neither may I. All right, let's keep going Hello.
Speaker 6: Hello, can you hear me?
Speaker 2: Hi? Yes, I can. What's your name?
Speaker 6: My name's Crystal. I'm going to try to talk slow
Speaker 6: so you can understand me.
Speaker 2: Crystal. What's going on, Crystal? How you doing?
Speaker 6: Oh? I mean in general, I'm breathing. I'm here, I'm alive.
Speaker 6: So that's good.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Uh that been better, also been worse. So I can't bit.
Speaker 2: You can't brag, you know, Yeah, yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 2: It is so interesting. Ah God, I want to you
Speaker 2: know what, Crystal. I was about to go wax poetic
Speaker 2: about the answer. To the question of whether or not
Speaker 2: you're doing good, but it's going to send me on
Speaker 2: a whole useless rant. So I'm gonna stop myself and
Speaker 2: I'm going to ask you, Crystal, if there was any
Speaker 2: particular thing that you called in today I want to
Speaker 2: talk talk about.
Speaker 6: I guess yeah. Actually, so for the first time, look sorry,
Speaker 6: for the first time in my entire life, I started
Speaker 6: a new job and I feel like I'm being bullied.
Speaker 6: It sounds like a ridiculous I know, I hate say
Speaker 6: the word bully because it's so fucking stupid, but it's
Speaker 6: like I've never been to a place where people are
Speaker 6: just annoyed with my presence. Like I know I'm annoying,
Speaker 6: but it's just it's too much. So anyways, there's I'm
Speaker 6: calling you is because I started watching you or listening
Speaker 6: to you or whatever while network, and you know, it
Speaker 6: seems like you are pretty good at what you do
Speaker 6: as far as giving just your opinion, and I need
Speaker 6: like a opinion on how to or what to do.
Speaker 6: You know, do I put my job? Do I tell
Speaker 6: them to get fucked?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 6: It sounds so stupid now that I'm saying out.
Speaker 2: Loud, Well, I have I have a couple of questions,
Speaker 2: and I also just an observation. I mean, first of all,
Speaker 2: the fact that you said, uh, I know, I am
Speaker 2: annoying is like, you know, well, you know what. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's let's let's do this. Okay, So Crystal, your name
Speaker 2: is right?
Speaker 6: Correct?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: What's this job?
Speaker 6: Inventory? And let me do a little side side talking
Speaker 6: just so you know, it's hard for me to find
Speaker 6: a job. I'll have a record, and it took me
Speaker 6: a long time to find a job, So just keep
Speaker 6: that in mind as well.
Speaker 2: You said you have you have a record, so it
Speaker 2: took you a long time to find a job.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, correct, And the imps on disability for a
Speaker 6: good portion of my life and then you know, so
Speaker 6: that's comes into play too, so you know.
Speaker 2: Anyways, okay, so so you got a job in inventory
Speaker 2: and you're being tell me about what do you mean
Speaker 2: by your being bullied?
Speaker 6: I love this deest like correct word, and it seems
Speaker 6: like it's like a word but aitherway. So I mean
Speaker 6: what I mean by that is I start this job
Speaker 6: and I am supposed to be trained, trained, like in
Speaker 6: any kind of job, you know, but I just get
Speaker 6: barely trained and stuck in like the this place of
Speaker 6: the store where nobody really wants to do accounting because
Speaker 6: it's you know, it's just annoying part of the story.
Speaker 6: So anyway, hold on a second, then care anyways though,
Speaker 6: and then they tell me, okay, well you know you
Speaker 6: got account faster and then you'll get moved moved out
Speaker 6: of there. Okay, Well three months later, I'm seeing people
Speaker 6: go past me and you know this and that, so
Speaker 6: i'll you know, anything else subject here. Yeah. Anyway, so
Speaker 6: while I'm doing my job, I'm hearing like I can
Speaker 6: just send people, you know, untibody's talking about you, or
Speaker 6: you're walking in a conversation that's like about you and
Speaker 6: they just stop and you just know that they're talking
Speaker 6: about you, right mm hmm.
Speaker 2: No, you know you know I do because well, well,
Speaker 2: well I I confuse you. No, no, no, it's it's
Speaker 2: not that it confuses me. But go ahead, I want
Speaker 2: to leave.
Speaker 6: You finish, okay, So you know it's not like that's
Speaker 6: just maybe Okay, I'm known to be a little crazy,
Speaker 6: like on the books. Whatever it comes. It runs in
Speaker 6: my blood, you know, it's my family side. But anyways,
Speaker 6: so maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Speaker 6: And you know, so I know, I tried to law
Speaker 6: schooboy one, you know, just taking this set back, and
Speaker 6: as the days go by, I'm realizing that I'm not
Speaker 6: being paranoid, that I have, you know, confirmation that my
Speaker 6: direct supervisor is like talking shit about me, but not
Speaker 6: only to the other employees but like to other people
Speaker 6: by as well. And it's not even like good crap,
Speaker 6: like it's nothing that's all, you know, anything exciting even
Speaker 6: it's just like you know, I'm basically because they're all
Speaker 6: a lot younger than me, so that doesn't help. You know,
Speaker 6: it's basically just talking ship, just stupid ship. Like I
Speaker 6: can explain it, but you know, I'm making yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: and then no, and then it gets me feeling sometime
Speaker 6: way obviously, you know, and I just I don't know,
Speaker 6: it's weird. I've never been in a job to do
Speaker 6: where I can't or any I'm in a situation in
Speaker 6: general to where I'm not ever like speak my mind
Speaker 6: like usually may get more than welcome, you know, or
Speaker 6: more than expected, and uh, in this situation, it's like
Speaker 6: they made me like they made me feel bad, which
Speaker 6: sucked up so It's like, do I quit until we
Speaker 6: suck them and then have no income and then spend
Speaker 6: the next year trying to find another job? Or do
Speaker 6: I just I mean, where do you go from here?
Speaker 6: I'm not the type to really be like a little
Speaker 6: contact A Well, that's just not me. I'm not the
Speaker 6: type of person that doesn't the type of shit. You know.
Speaker 1: I feel like, Okay, why I I well, I I
Speaker 1: have a few thoughts.
Speaker 2: So this is an inventory? Is this is this? Is
Speaker 2: this a job at a big company?
Speaker 6: You we go so basically we go to like Dollar Generals,
Speaker 6: dollar Tree, damn the dollars and for some reason try
Speaker 6: to supply and account you get out there through all
Speaker 6: the products in the store.
Speaker 2: Is this a job? Well, okay, before because we were
Speaker 2: talking about HR?
Speaker 6: Is it?
Speaker 2: Is it a job with a big enough company that
Speaker 2: even is it? Is it a Is it a job
Speaker 2: with a big enough company that they even have an
Speaker 2: HR department?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 2: Definitely, this is okay, definitely, Okay, you don't have to
Speaker 2: confirm or deny. But does the company start with an A?
Speaker 6: No? Not? This this struts a W. And there's three
Speaker 6: letters in the in the company named Okay, I have
Speaker 6: worked the one to start with an A.
Speaker 2: And and you're telling me that you this place has
Speaker 2: an HR, and you said, I'm not the kind of
Speaker 2: person to go to HR. What does that mean?
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm just see I'm an overthinker. And it's like
Speaker 6: I started, you know, were thinking, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 6: well I don't want to be that guy that goes
Speaker 6: in talns on somebody. And like like then I start,
Speaker 6: you know, when I start talking about a lot, I'm
Speaker 6: like it should be a big deal. Maybe I'm just
Speaker 6: being dramatic, and I started playing like those kind of
Speaker 6: games in my head, like you know, I don't want to.
Speaker 6: I mean, something's done. I feel like it's like I
Speaker 6: don't know, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, by the way, and here's it actually makes a
Speaker 2: lot of sense. And I understand because it's like we
Speaker 2: don't we don't live in I think the the older
Speaker 2: I get and the more I just think about things,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I.
Speaker 6: Don't know if yeah, well I'm super old too, so
Speaker 6: I'm like during forties, so.
Speaker 2: Well I guess I well, I'm thinking, well, well, I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about like we don't necessarily live in perfect systems, right,
Speaker 2: I understand where it's like oh, you know, I don't
Speaker 2: want to go like tattle and then things become worse.
Speaker 6: The tell so they tell my supervisor I told on them,
Speaker 6: and then if it means my job, you know, I mean,
Speaker 6: I do know.
Speaker 2: What you mean. It's a completely valid, understandable fear.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: Do you know what you mean?
Speaker 6: I mean, how old are you again?
Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 6: Okay, so you're a significantly younger than me, A holder
Speaker 6: generation probably, So it's people like I would say, they're
Speaker 6: probably around your age, gets stakes five years.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 6: My my direct group I work with let's say six
Speaker 6: to ten people, maybe sometimes sixteen. And it's like, I'm sure,
Speaker 6: I don't know if it's just I'm too old to
Speaker 6: be right to be able to like, I don't know,
Speaker 6: I know, problem is I like, I need to fix it.
Speaker 2: Listen, listen, I just I just Cris Crystal, Crystal. I'm
Speaker 2: curious about a couple of well, I mean, there's a
Speaker 2: there's a there's there's kind of a lot uh to
Speaker 2: this that I'm thinking about. Do you ever do you
Speaker 2: ever talk to a real therapist?
Speaker 6: Yes, I definitely have, and probably realistically you need to
Speaker 6: get back into it. But you know, at the very moment, okay,
Speaker 6: and have my mental health has been sorry, my mental
Speaker 6: health is obviously. I feel like it's obvious, you know, easy,
Speaker 6: be real back ind like I was really good with them.
Speaker 6: I have a couple of things.
Speaker 2: Well because because here's the here's the thing, right, and
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm I'm not a real therapist, but
Speaker 2: I'm just like, uh well yeah, obviously, but you know,
Speaker 2: I guess like just like as a it's just like
Speaker 2: I'm because I'm about to I'm about to kind of
Speaker 2: get in. I'm I'm about to get into some armchair
Speaker 2: therapist ship right now.
Speaker 6: Just but like you're good dude. Like I said, I'm
Speaker 6: not trying to be you know, be anything. But I
Speaker 6: just figured that that's what I called. You know, you
Speaker 6: would come down to. I don't know you and I
Speaker 6: don't really give a about you.
Speaker 2: No, No, I know exactly, I know exactly what you mean.
Speaker 2: I know exactly what you mean. I know exactly what
Speaker 2: you mean. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know
Speaker 2: you mean. Okay, So okay, so then here's the thing.
Speaker 2: Here's my here's my observation. Right, is a couple of things.
Speaker 2: It's like, i mean, one the very when you first
Speaker 2: started talking, you were like you said, you said, I
Speaker 2: know I'm annoying, and you said and and the thing
Speaker 2: about like the thing you said where you were like,
Speaker 2: you know when you enter a conversation and you think
Speaker 2: it's about you or like and you know it's about
Speaker 2: you and the reason I kind of fully agree with
Speaker 2: you on that in the first place. And I'm this
Speaker 2: is total armchair therapy. But I'm like in our conversation,
Speaker 2: in our conversation, I'm picking up little things that are
Speaker 2: telling me that are like signs of.
Speaker 6: Just HD anxiety.
Speaker 2: Well I was gonna say this, like things like like
Speaker 2: like low self esteem.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well yeah, that comes along with I mean I
Speaker 6: guess I went too deep with the head and I'll
Speaker 6: tell you all that. See, it's just and that's I mean,
Speaker 6: that's the reality of it, though, is that that comes
Speaker 6: from a lot of things. And you know that's why
Speaker 6: real therapy can be important. But it's just another whole
Speaker 6: another show, you know. So it's just like.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, I want I'll let you talk.
Speaker 6: No hopeful I do his talk. It's just I just
Speaker 6: like I just woke up like several months to home,
Speaker 6: was like damn, now, I'm fucking old, and the like
Speaker 6: I had my shit together as far as like, you know,
Speaker 6: being able to control my anxiety and you know that
Speaker 6: ter and then it's just like what the fuck happened?
Speaker 6: And now I'm to the point where I'm just She's like,
Speaker 6: what the fuck did it need? These young folks?
Speaker 2: Mhmm.
Speaker 6: And then I get like, it's just a whole Yeah,
Speaker 6: I assuming enough time to go to my whole whole situation,
Speaker 6: but I guess probably answer out my question out before.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, even just like that, right, it's like,
Speaker 2: is I just to me, the the thing is and
Speaker 2: and this is like something to work out in like
Speaker 2: real therapy, right, is like I think to even like
Speaker 2: I think you need to have some form of foundation
Speaker 2: of like self esteem that allows you to be like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm not gonna I'm I don't care
Speaker 2: if these people are bullying me. I am not the problem.
Speaker 2: It's not because I'm annoying or i am old or whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm showing up to do fucking work at my job.
Speaker 2: I'm doing like really just building the in your head,
Speaker 2: the narrative, right, the narrative of your every day and
Speaker 2: the narrative of your life is should not be Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm annoying, I'm old these people. You know, I probably
Speaker 2: deserve these people are probably talking about me, because that's
Speaker 2: that you like, you need to take that ar rative
Speaker 2: and and and do It's it's not easy, it's really
Speaker 2: really really not easy. But the process is just to
Speaker 2: take that narrative and replace it with I'm a fucking
Speaker 2: dignified human being. I'm showing up to work, I'm doing
Speaker 2: my fucking job, and I deserve to be able to
Speaker 2: be in an environment where people are not fucking with me,
Speaker 2: where I can do my job. And if I have
Speaker 2: to go to HR to advocate for myself, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do it because I I I I have you know,
Speaker 2: I I deserve you know and you And that's what
Speaker 2: that's what that's what that's that's what you gotta do
Speaker 2: because the the two that that's that's where your head
Speaker 2: needs to be at. Like every day with this ship.
Speaker 6: You know, you know you're you're too hard to write.
Speaker 6: In one thousands I write. And that's why I'm glad
Speaker 6: I call it because I mean, in summary, in my brain,
Speaker 6: I know this, you know what I mean, I can
Speaker 6: know this and I know I can do that, you know,
Speaker 6: and it's just like, you know, so that's why you're
Speaker 6: awesome to thank you. Honestly, it's just it's just it's
Speaker 6: fucked up. But you know it's like and I keep,
Speaker 6: you know, thinking, Okay, there's other jobs. It's like the
Speaker 6: wide why would I give them the pleasure of, you know,
Speaker 6: bullying me because they don't like whatever money for whatever reason,
Speaker 6: Like they're not gonna say my bills.
Speaker 2: It's well. Also also also here's something Crystal a lot
Speaker 2: like another thing is like so many of our interaction,
Speaker 2: so many of our interactions with other people and with
Speaker 2: the world, have fucking absolutely nothing to do with us,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? These these this guy isn't
Speaker 2: like like like you're like your direct supervisor. He's not
Speaker 2: being mean to you because of anything wrong with you.
Speaker 2: He's he's I don't even know if he's being mean
Speaker 2: to you because of anything. She I don't even know
Speaker 2: if she's being wrong with you because of anything fucking
Speaker 2: wrong with her. She just has.
Speaker 6: She doesn't really she doesn't really she's talking. She like
Speaker 6: has to it, you know what I mean, I guess
Speaker 6: do it or like doesn't do anything about it when
Speaker 6: like the rest of the dictator because she was like, cool,
Speaker 6: I don't know whatever, Yeah right, we don't.
Speaker 2: Know, right, we don't know. We don't know why she
Speaker 2: acts the way she does. We don't know if what
Speaker 2: happened or when she was like kay, we don't know
Speaker 2: about what happened with her parents. We don't know about it.
Speaker 2: And you know what, And she could just be a dickhead.
Speaker 2: She could have a good reason. It doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2: It's not really important to think about. But the important
Speaker 2: part of it to grasp what what what? What the
Speaker 2: reason is is not that important, but what the reason
Speaker 2: is not is important. And the reason is not ultimately
Speaker 2: really anything having to do with you, So long as
Speaker 2: you look at yourself and you trust yourself enough to
Speaker 2: go again, like when you fucking wake up and when
Speaker 2: you go to work and when you interact with people,
Speaker 2: are you are you able to really like within yourself, go,
Speaker 2: I am fucking dum, I'm like showing up up to
Speaker 2: do this job as a dignified worker. I'm like I'm
Speaker 2: doing I'm I'm like in all parts of your life,
Speaker 2: am I doing the best to uphold my end of
Speaker 2: the deal in this whole being a human being on
Speaker 2: the earth.
Speaker 6: I can no matter what the situation. You know, I tried.
Speaker 2: You know, by the way, by the way, you're not
Speaker 2: by the way, You're never gonna be You're never gonna
Speaker 2: be perfect. The answer is never gonna be. I'm doing amazing.
Speaker 4: The answer.
Speaker 2: The answer is the question. The question is is just
Speaker 2: one of like, am I am I at least am
Speaker 2: I at least trying?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 6: Who are you laughing? I'm not looking at this yet?
Speaker 6: Is this funny?
Speaker 2: I'm not laughing.
Speaker 6: Ridiculous?
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm laughing at I'm laughing at the absurdity.
Speaker 2: I'm just laughing at you know, life and ship.
Speaker 6: But yeah, well, I mean not much more your time,
Speaker 6: but we'll see. How do you really appreciate you? And
Speaker 6: it's good to know that at least one more good
Speaker 6: even being out there.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, Crystal, Crystal, good luck. And please if you
Speaker 2: take away god damn, if you just take away anything
Speaker 2: from this phone call, just please make it that you
Speaker 2: know the the whatever whatever evils are done upon you
Speaker 2: in the world, that they they they have nothing to
Speaker 2: do with you and and your You have every right
Speaker 2: to go and you know, fight against them and as
Speaker 2: you as you move through the world.
Speaker 6: That's a you know it was. That's a good, good one.
Speaker 1: This night.
Speaker 6: You appreciate you, Okay, and thanks again, really really thank you.
Speaker 2: All right, thank you, Crystal, good luck you have a
Speaker 2: good night.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: We got very we got very stoic on that one.
Speaker 2: We got very we got very philosophical on that on
Speaker 2: that one. That was a big stoic one. I feel
Speaker 2: for Crystal.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 2: It's weird, dude, It's hard, and I I I've I've been,
Speaker 2: I know people like this, and I've been people like this,
Speaker 2: and I slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, over time realize just
Speaker 2: how fucking little of the way, like the way the
Speaker 2: world operates is very indifferent to you. In the way
Speaker 2: the people operate, I think it is very indifferent to you. Now,
Speaker 2: By the way, it's not a zero percent. I would
Speaker 2: say there's a ratio. I don't know what the exact
Speaker 2: ratio it is. It could be something close to fifty
Speaker 2: to fifty, it could be something close to sixty forty.
Speaker 2: The ratio being what percentage of the way that the
Speaker 2: world and the people in it treat you is a
Speaker 2: result of things going on with you or a result
Speaker 2: of things going on with those people and with the world.
Speaker 2: It's not one hundred percent either of those things. But
Speaker 2: I think people tend to focus on, you know, oh,
Speaker 2: what did I do wrong in that relationship? Oh why
Speaker 2: why am I getting bullied? I must have be something
Speaker 2: to do with me? And it's like it's in a
Speaker 2: lot a lot of the times, it's just because the word.
Speaker 2: It's just because it's the word. The world is insane
Speaker 2: and the people living and it are insane, including us,
Speaker 2: and everyone is just it's too it's too mystical. And yeah,
Speaker 2: it's too it's too mystical to claim as as as
Speaker 2: your own, you know. And I do that with good
Speaker 2: things too sometimes, which is the double edged sword of that, right,
Speaker 2: Like if someone reacts positively to you, that's the that's
Speaker 2: the double edged sword of this, of this, of this
Speaker 2: particular philosophy that I wrestle with is like if I
Speaker 2: did well or if people liked me, A lot of
Speaker 2: that had nothing to do with fucking me and a
Speaker 2: lot to do with the other people. But that doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be a bad thing, because I mean, take
Speaker 2: it in m I mean, look, we let's talk art
Speaker 2: business relationships. Those are all fifty to fifty ratio things, right,
Speaker 2: You can make a you can make a video and
Speaker 2: it's really weird and grotesque and someone could not like it,
Speaker 2: and fifty percent of the reason they didn't like it
Speaker 2: is because of you. Is because of the thing that
Speaker 2: you made, and the other fifty percent is because of them.
Speaker 2: They're not into it. And then you meet a sick,
Speaker 2: weirdo person who likes your weird video thing, and now
Speaker 2: it's like, fifty percent of that was because of you
Speaker 2: and who you are, and then fifty percent of that
Speaker 2: was because of them and who they are. And it
Speaker 2: works outay with relationships and friendships and everything. But I
Speaker 2: think people we get too focused on the you know,
Speaker 2: the version of us. I'm learning that too, Like if
Speaker 2: I'm at parties or social I'm trying to get better
Speaker 2: at like being more. I think I'm naturally extroverted when
Speaker 2: I have energy, which is not all the time, but
Speaker 2: when I have energy, I try to be more extroverted.
Speaker 2: I when I go to like a fucking function or
Speaker 2: something I want to I would love to be the
Speaker 2: kind of guy where I can just go in and
Speaker 2: be like, Hey, what's your name?
Speaker 4: How you doing?
Speaker 2: And I'm starting to do that more, and I easily
Speaker 2: brush off when someone does not want to talk to me.
Speaker 2: It's not a big deal. It's really not a big
Speaker 2: deal because it has nothing to do with you. It
Speaker 2: may as or not that has nothing to do with you,
Speaker 2: but it only has half to do with you.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: So I am I feel. I feel for Crystal, I
Speaker 2: really do. I could tell that. I could tell with
Speaker 2: help pad because I could tell even when I was laughing,
Speaker 2: just because I'm, you know, talking, and that's that's that's
Speaker 2: how I am. That's a thing going on in my head.
Speaker 2: Of course I'm not laughing at her. But the brain,
Speaker 2: it just conditions itself to believe that it's the source
Speaker 2: of all everything. It's a weird like ego. It's a
Speaker 2: way like it's it's kind of funny, man like like
Speaker 2: thinking that like you're thinking that you're amazing and you're
Speaker 2: better than everyone else is ego, but also like thinking
Speaker 2: that you suck and everyone hates you, and like that's
Speaker 2: also kind of ego in a way. Yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I think about this ship, but uh fuck, can I
Speaker 2: I gotta say something funny? Everything's been so philosophical, tits.
Speaker 4: Hello, yeah, can you hear me?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's your name?
Speaker 4: My name is uh.
Speaker 2: Let's go Logan, Logan. What's up, Logan?
Speaker 4: How you doing good? How are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm fine, I'm okay. What's uh?
Speaker 4: Oh gosh, I have no idea. Would you mind taking
Speaker 4: the lead?
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, I can take the lead. Well, have we
Speaker 2: ever talked before, Logan?
Speaker 4: We not. This is my first time ever calling you.
Speaker 2: How did you find out about this show?
Speaker 4: I was actually listening to a podcast on Spotify called
Speaker 4: Brooke and Jeffrey Brooke and Jewble, and it was an ad.
Speaker 2: Cool Okay. I always wonder if ads work, and it
Speaker 2: seems I guess it seems like they do. Cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you hooked me. I was working one day and
Speaker 4: my job enables me to listen to music and podcasts
Speaker 4: all day. And the first podcast I ever listened to
Speaker 4: you was about the guy that would jerk off in
Speaker 4: the helicopter he worked for the military.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, How have you been listening for for
Speaker 2: for a while?
Speaker 4: I would say probably like five months.
Speaker 2: Cool. We We're happy to have you, sir.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I'm uh. I'm a young guy, kind of
Speaker 4: like some of your other guests today. I'm twenty two.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, I could have sworn you were like forty something.
Speaker 4: Man. Yeah, I'm a I'm a bigger guy.
Speaker 2: But yeah, what's life like in Oregon? What's your life
Speaker 2: like in Oregon?
Speaker 4: Well, I am from the southern part and uh, it's
Speaker 4: quite getting quite hot. We just had a storm rolled through,
Speaker 4: so there's a bunch of fires. So it's getting into
Speaker 4: the smoky season. Yeah. And like your other guests last weekend,
Speaker 4: I just took all my friends into the into the
Speaker 4: local wilderness and did some mushrooms as well. That's quite
Speaker 4: the adventure. But yeah, boy, this is crazy. I'm kind
Speaker 4: of freaking out.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, what did you do? What did you
Speaker 2: learn on your mushroom journey? I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: People say that they learn things, but then ultimately it's like,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I kind of think mushrooms are just
Speaker 2: forgetting high, you know, learning things? Yea, for like reading
Speaker 2: books and shit, is how you I think I think
Speaker 2: learn things. I don't know. If I feel like you
Speaker 2: can't just get high and learn stuff, you have to
Speaker 2: like do things and go places and talk to people
Speaker 2: and study shit.
Speaker 4: Well, for me, I personally, I've only ever done them,
Speaker 4: of course recreationally, but I don't understand how someone could
Speaker 4: go to like a house party and do mushrooms. I've
Speaker 4: always been out in the woods enjoying nature and whatnot.
Speaker 4: I think it it often offers me a different perspective
Speaker 4: on some things. I don't do it very often, and
Speaker 4: if I do, I make sure I'm in a good
Speaker 4: space and happy. Otherwise you won't enjoy your trip very much. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't. I mean, yeah, they are to get high,
Speaker 4: but I mean it's it's pretty. Once you're in it,
Speaker 4: You're kind of for a ride for a few hours.
Speaker 4: And like weed. I have smokeweed for quite some time,
Speaker 4: but I quit for the past years and do to work,
Speaker 4: get my CDL and stuff. Can't do it anymore.
Speaker 2: So what does that mean? You got your CDL? What
Speaker 2: do you what's the future looking like for you?
Speaker 4: Well, I am pursuing a career in power alignment, so
Speaker 4: to work on power lines and stuff. I attended some
Speaker 4: college to you know, make myself as valuable as I
Speaker 4: could and you know, get get really interested into the industry.
Speaker 4: And to do that you have to be clean, of course,
Speaker 4: which is unfortunate because I feel like marijuana a large
Speaker 4: part of my identity in the later part of my
Speaker 4: high school years until I was like twenty one, which
Speaker 4: isn't you know, smart, But.
Speaker 2: They say the same say say say less, brother, say less.
Speaker 2: I'm very familiar with that weed. I'm twenty seven and
Speaker 2: weed is still become an unfortunate part of my identity.
Speaker 2: I mean somewhat for fortunate or unfortunate. Who knows the
Speaker 2: problem is that? Yeah, it causes it's I know, it's
Speaker 2: not free meaning it's Yeah. For a while, I was like,
Speaker 2: what do you mean, what do you mean smoking weed
Speaker 2: is bad for you? It's weed everyone you know, they
Speaker 2: make T shirts with it on it. Of course it's.
Speaker 4: Awesome, Yeah, you know, socks and shit. Yeah, I totally damn.
Speaker 4: It's just you know, I have had friends that you know,
Speaker 4: it's smoke, dabs and stuff every day, and they don't
Speaker 4: have much of a memory anymore. And I feel like
Speaker 4: some of their cognitive function has decreased since they, you know,
Speaker 4: have partook with marijuana. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think some of my cognitive function is bad
Speaker 2: with marijuana, especially when I'm actively on it. For sure.
Speaker 2: I mean it's not it's not good, but I don't know,
Speaker 2: functioning get one hundred percent cognitive cognition. That's like a
Speaker 2: whole thing. Who does that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and it's it's funny. I mean, you've had
Speaker 4: this conversation many times on the channel before. People you know,
Speaker 4: claim it's not addictive. But for me, since it became,
Speaker 4: I mean, it felt like it was part of my
Speaker 4: personality and everything. It took me a long time to
Speaker 4: become to the point where I didn't want to like
Speaker 4: do it every day, which is you know that's basically
Speaker 4: and then Dixon, well, yeah, and you know you hang
Speaker 4: out with the same old friends that are still doing
Speaker 4: it all the time. Doesn't make it easy.
Speaker 2: Oh I wish I was. I wish my friends fucking
Speaker 2: smoked weed as much as I do. That's one of
Speaker 2: the bund It's one of the things I hate about
Speaker 2: my friends. They don't smoke as much weed as I do.
Speaker 2: I would my my I my life would genuinely be
Speaker 2: so much better if my friends all smoked weed. But
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm like the only one left. Some of
Speaker 2: some of my friends still smoke weed. But like you know,
Speaker 2: my my core core core friends are are don't like
Speaker 2: to get high. You know, everyone's everyone. Everyone's addicted. It's
Speaker 2: a jeweling. I feel like all my all my friends
Speaker 2: they switched over to the nick.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I do partake in disposable vapes, which I'm trying
Speaker 4: to kick, but everyone knows the struggle with that. But
Speaker 4: being here from Oregon, you know, it's fucking every You
Speaker 4: can't go to a bar or any event without smelling weed.
Speaker 4: And when I went to the college for you know,
Speaker 4: to become alignment, I uh, I was in Idaho where
Speaker 4: it's illegal, and it took me a while to like,
Speaker 4: you know, go to a bar and just not smell it.
Speaker 4: It became kind of weird, you know. It came home.
Speaker 4: There's for a while, when it first became legal to
Speaker 4: grow here, you could not see a farm no matter
Speaker 4: where you went. It's it's just this is honestly pretty crazy,
Speaker 4: and I think it's taken a notch down because so
Speaker 4: many people did it. The market kind of went in
Speaker 4: the tank for the most part. At the huge, huge operations.
Speaker 2: What's your name again?
Speaker 4: My name is Logan. I believe I went with Logan.
Speaker 2: Well, Logan, is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, it's kind of cheesy, but I do
Speaker 4: follow this rule. Treat people the way you want to
Speaker 4: be treated. For me, I'm a very nice person and
Speaker 4: I've always treated people with respect, and it seems to follow.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I appreciate taking. We appreciate this call, Logan
Speaker 4: or I mean Lyle. Sorry, that's amazing.
Speaker 2: I hope that that. I hope that, I hope. I
Speaker 2: hope that your life continues to be good. You have
Speaker 2: a lot of life ahead of you to be potentially bad,
Speaker 2: but it's good that it's it's good so far.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, we just got a kid on the way.
Speaker 4: We figured out a few weeks.
Speaker 2: You have a kid on the way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm married.
Speaker 2: Are you insane? Logan? You were like, I don't fucking
Speaker 2: have any idea what to talk about. You have a
Speaker 2: fucking kid on the way.
Speaker 4: Dude, I am quite I know you probably read my text,
Speaker 4: but I am quite the red neck. You wouldn't You
Speaker 4: wouldn't believe. Yeah, you know, I'm surrounded by good people.
Speaker 4: I have over had over three hundred people at my wedding.
Speaker 4: It was a big event.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, Oh my god, geez.
Speaker 4: I'm very traditional, very traditional, you know. I'd like to
Speaker 4: put my head down work, be the only worker in
Speaker 4: the family, have my wife stay at home and raise
Speaker 4: the kids home school.
Speaker 2: You're just burying the fucking lead in the ground here, logan. Wow,
Speaker 2: you know you're burying the lead in the ground. You
Speaker 2: bury the lead?
Speaker 4: What do you mean by that? What do you mean
Speaker 4: by that?
Speaker 2: Do you you know you know what burying the lead means?
Speaker 4: I haven't heard that.
Speaker 2: No, It's like when you have something exciting to talk
Speaker 2: about and then are like, like, it's like, if how
Speaker 2: do I how do I how do I put this?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: It's like if it's like if you and I were
Speaker 2: talking and you were you were like, how you doing?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm doing all right, how are you?
Speaker 2: And then we talked for like a half hour, and
Speaker 2: then at some point I was like, oh, yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: going to outer space on Saturday.
Speaker 4: Okay, see what you're saying? Yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah, I
Speaker 4: guess I did leave that out, but I'm.
Speaker 2: You know, and it was and it's this is on purpose, correct.
Speaker 4: No, sir, No, Oh, it was an accident. You know,
Speaker 4: just kind of I'm like shaking nervous talking to you.
Speaker 4: I've been listening to you for a while always wanted
Speaker 4: to call. I got off work today, which never happened necessarily,
Speaker 4: I worked like ninety hours a week that summertime, busy,
Speaker 4: busy season.
Speaker 2: So so, so the kid was an accident, No, No,
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 4: Actually it's more of a blessing. While she doesn't have
Speaker 4: a good egg count, and so, if I'm being honest,
Speaker 4: we kind of just relaxed on our precautions and it came.
Speaker 4: You know, I am. I know, I'm pretty young, but
Speaker 4: for my age, I do feel like I am financially
Speaker 4: secure enough to raise a kid. I'm not on you know,
Speaker 4: any sort of government financial help of any sort. I
Speaker 4: live on my own. I'm set to buy a house soon. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: I have a brother who has a kid that's eighteen. Wow,
Speaker 4: and he he already has a kid. But you know,
Speaker 4: he didn't marry his wife's first so the government paid
Speaker 4: for everything, and that, you know, just you know, pisses
Speaker 4: me off. But I'm not going that route.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: Interesting people that actually need it.
Speaker 2: Interesting Okay, So yeah, I have some I have so
Speaker 2: many more questions for you. Now, how did you achieve
Speaker 2: financial stability at twenty two enough to have a kid?
Speaker 4: Okay? So I went to a so I graduated with
Speaker 4: like twelve people in my class. To put it in
Speaker 4: perspective of how large my school was, there was less
Speaker 4: than two hundred kids in my school K through twelve.
Speaker 4: So I was not very good at school. And so
Speaker 4: my dad, you know, said, you can either be smart
Speaker 4: or you can work really hard. So at fifteen, early sixteen,
Speaker 4: I was working forty hours a week during school, barely
Speaker 4: graduated high school, and I've just kind of put my
Speaker 4: head in the dirt. I work construction, so you know,
Speaker 4: I come home fucking dirty as hell every day. I
Speaker 4: saved my money, you can. I'm to think of what
Speaker 4: I look like. I am like six foot three and
Speaker 4: I drive a big jacked, uff loud truck, so I'm
Speaker 4: pretty red deck.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I love guns. I have a lot of guns. But
Speaker 4: that's pretty common here where I'm where I'm local to. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I found a woman when I was seventeen,
Speaker 4: she was fifteen. And throughout our relationship, we both you know,
Speaker 4: agreed that we have the same desires and once throughout
Speaker 4: our life and so we got married. We got married.
Speaker 4: I was this is what you just said. A one
Speaker 4: year anniversary June fourth, but yeah, we have a kid
Speaker 4: do in early next year, So I'm excited. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 4: a brother of four boys. Wow.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and you're up in a Yeah and your
Speaker 2: your brother also has a kid, and he's like eighteen.
Speaker 4: Yep, yep, he's below me. You know, he didn't really
Speaker 4: pick a good woman in my opinion, but you know
Speaker 4: he everyone makes mistakes. And but you know her name.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say her name.
Speaker 2: But yeah, don't say her name. But what made you
Speaker 2: feel like, why don't you why don't you like her?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 4: No, it's not a child that I don't like. It'st
Speaker 4: the woman. She just had a crazy family, you know,
Speaker 4: crazy crazy family. My brother as soon as he graduated,
Speaker 4: he was dating this girl during high school. As soon
Speaker 4: as he graduated, turned eighteen, moved into her house with
Speaker 4: her parents' family, grandma everyone, And for our family, that's
Speaker 4: pretty you know, that's not nothing, you really do, you know?
Speaker 4: And then he, you know, got this girl pregnant, still
Speaker 4: living in her house with her parents, not paying rent.
Speaker 4: He was working odds and ends. He's a smart kid,
Speaker 4: but yeah, he just made some decisions. But now he
Speaker 4: works for a really huge company. He's in a heavy
Speaker 4: de soul mechanic apprenticeship program for a very large company,
Speaker 4: and he lives very far from home now, which you know,
Speaker 4: I'm about to do the same. I'm an apprenticeship program
Speaker 4: for alignment. I'm going to be traveling in a camper
Speaker 4: with a kid, and my wife doesn't mind it should
Speaker 4: you know? If I am successful throughout my apprenticeship, which
Speaker 4: is about four years, then we'll figure out where we
Speaker 4: want to move and buy a house. But well, it
Speaker 4: depends on if I buy this house that I'm we're
Speaker 4: set to buy next year.
Speaker 2: And so as your brother is still with this lady.
Speaker 4: He is, I don't, I truly don't think it will last.
Speaker 4: And it sucks because I hate it when a man
Speaker 4: has to pay child support unless obviously he deserves it.
Speaker 4: This woman's crazy, you know, I think everyone.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, child but wait, wait wait wait. Why do
Speaker 2: you hate it when a man has to pay child
Speaker 2: to support?
Speaker 4: You know, it just sucks, even if if you get
Speaker 4: a woman pregnant. You know, I just I don't think
Speaker 4: it's generally good for a child who has to get
Speaker 4: be raised up into the world with you know, split parents.
Speaker 4: It obviously works. There's a lot of people out there
Speaker 4: that grew up in that situation that are you know,
Speaker 4: very successful. Well, it does work out very well, you'll
Speaker 4: you know what.
Speaker 2: And by the way, actually I I and you know what,
Speaker 2: I respect your genuinely. I respect your opinion, uh you know,
Speaker 2: of feeling like children who grew up in I respect
Speaker 2: your opinion that children who grew up in dual parent households,
Speaker 2: you know that that's a better environment. But the caveat is, uh,
Speaker 2: it's I think it's better for a child to grow
Speaker 2: up in a dual parent environment if the two parents
Speaker 2: don't fucking hate each other. And so, okay, so so
Speaker 2: if I had so, if I had to rank them,
Speaker 2: I would rank okay, I would rank growing up with
Speaker 2: two parents who love each other at number one, and
Speaker 2: then below that I would put two parents who are
Speaker 2: divorced and sharing custody, and then below that I would
Speaker 2: put two parents living into the same house who fucking
Speaker 2: hate each other.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, it's not gonna. It's not gonna if you
Speaker 2: hate each other, it's not gonna. It's not like we
Speaker 2: should stay together for the kids. If we're just we're
Speaker 2: gonna make it worse.
Speaker 4: I I I disagree, and honestly, scratch what I said
Speaker 4: about child support. I just meant like I'd rather see him,
Speaker 4: you know. It just it means a lot to win
Speaker 4: a parent. You know, I'm just gonna wait till they're
Speaker 4: eighteen and then we're gonna break up. Like that's in
Speaker 4: my eyes, that's that's kind of devotion towards the child,
Speaker 4: as long as it's not you know, an abusive household
Speaker 4: where they're yelling at each other all the time, which
Speaker 4: isn't the case with my brothers. They clearly still like
Speaker 4: love each other. But he can tell he kind of
Speaker 4: fucked up and now he's stuck with this woman.
Speaker 2: Why, well, I'm if he if they still love each other,
Speaker 2: why do you think he fucked up?
Speaker 4: Well, he he obviously kind of loves her, but at
Speaker 4: the same time, like I don't know, we're very close,
Speaker 4: and you can just tell he's not very satisfied. I
Speaker 4: put it this way, if they don't have it, if
Speaker 4: they didn't have a child right now, I don't think
Speaker 4: they would be together because they've had this child for
Speaker 4: quite some time now.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I'm so you think he loves
Speaker 2: his wife but yet is not.
Speaker 4: Happy yeah, well, yeah, okay, maybe he loves a strong word.
Speaker 4: Maybe I haven't actually asked him if he loves his wife.
Speaker 4: I would assume so because they just got married, But
Speaker 4: you know, I don't. I know, he's unsatisfied to a
Speaker 4: point kind of like, oh damn, I kind of fucked up.
Speaker 4: But I think he's definitely the type that's just gonna
Speaker 4: stick it out and probably be an old man and
Speaker 4: wake up, look at the woman next to you in bed,
Speaker 4: and be like I could have you know, it could
Speaker 4: have been a little bit different. My decisions, you know,
Speaker 4: were a little different as well.
Speaker 2: Do you do you love your wife?
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, oh, yuh yeah, I I you know, honestly,
Speaker 4: this is probably cheesy to say, but if every man
Speaker 4: on this planet could have a woman that has half
Speaker 4: the qualities of my wife, the world would be such
Speaker 4: such a better place.
Speaker 2: That's really nice.
Speaker 4: You know. She makes me lunch every day, and when
Speaker 4: I come home, dinner's ready and made before I come home.
Speaker 4: It's you know, it's she. She treats me very well,
Speaker 4: and I do the same.
Speaker 2: You talk about your wife, you're talking about the way
Speaker 2: you use the word woman. It's like it's the age.
Speaker 2: It's like eighteen hundred. Shit.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Well, you know, if I introduce someone, I say,
Speaker 4: this is my lady. You know, I am very traditional.
Speaker 4: I say yes, ma'am. No man to anyone. I don't know,
Speaker 4: doesn't really matter their age unless they're a kid. I
Speaker 4: was grew up. I grew up very traditional.
Speaker 2: But well let's see. Uh so, okay, you're gonna have
Speaker 2: your first kid, yet you're going to have more?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I want probably three or four, if you know.
Speaker 4: My wife will let me, and I think three is
Speaker 4: a good number. But I'd like to make it even.
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry, how exactly how you? You said, like,
Speaker 2: how did you make all this money?
Speaker 4: Oh? I just work, Honestly. I don't make a lot.
Speaker 4: I mean there's times where I get prevailing wage jobs.
Speaker 4: You know, it's a government job, so I make like
Speaker 4: fifty dollars an hour, but most of the year I
Speaker 4: make twenty five. I just work really hard. I work
Speaker 4: a lot of hours, and I don't don't spend much.
Speaker 4: You save as much as you can. I don't know.
Speaker 4: I got relatives that lived through through two thousand and
Speaker 4: eight and saw it coming, and they feel which was
Speaker 4: the recession? If you didn't know, but they feel that
Speaker 4: there will be another one soon where the house market
Speaker 4: crashes and you'll be able to buy a house for
Speaker 4: much less than the market is right now. And so
Speaker 4: I've always been taught, you know, save your money and
Speaker 4: if you know, someday a good deal will come up
Speaker 4: and you'll have it. But yeah, I just save my
Speaker 4: money as much as I can, and you know, don't
Speaker 4: spend much. I work a lot. I work a lot.
Speaker 2: And so what does your what does your wife do now?
Speaker 2: Is she not working? She's just john.
Speaker 4: Well, she is in her I guess it'd be towards
Speaker 4: the end of her first trimester, but she's working full
Speaker 4: time as well. And once she has the kids, she's
Speaker 4: basically going to retire until her all of our kids
Speaker 4: are you know, eighteen, are out of the house. But
Speaker 4: she does have goals and aspirations, and we agree that
Speaker 4: she'll put her career kind of to the side as
Speaker 4: I develop mine into the lignement industry. She's going to
Speaker 4: raise the kids. And you know, once the kids are
Speaker 4: raised and she has more time or in school where
Speaker 4: she you know, she has a lot more free time,
Speaker 4: she can start working on her career. And I should
Speaker 4: be in a good financial spot to be able to
Speaker 4: help her to do with what or she wants. She
Speaker 4: really wants to do aesthetics, so, you know, because women
Speaker 4: like their face all done up, moisturized, whatever else. I mean.
Speaker 2: Does she seem happy about the situation, Yeah.
Speaker 4: She couldn't be happier. And I'm the same way. We
Speaker 4: both like we were kind of planners so early on
Speaker 4: in the relationship. We you know, wrote down on paper
Speaker 4: goals and aspirations, and you know, luckily enough they were aligned,
Speaker 4: and so we're right on track to where we want
Speaker 4: to be. You know, you look at other people our age,
Speaker 4: you know they're still a partying. I go to bed
Speaker 4: at seven thirty eight o'clock every night when I can,
Speaker 4: I wake up really early. I don't I don't go
Speaker 4: to the bar ever. I try not too even on
Speaker 4: the weekends. I just I just worked as much as
Speaker 4: I can and save and when I am free, I
Speaker 4: you know, hang out with my best friends from high
Speaker 4: school and spend a lot of time with my wife.
Speaker 4: I do a lot of fishing, hunting. I'm a very
Speaker 4: outdoorsy person. I grew up on a ranch. So and
Speaker 4: her families. They own a logging company, so yeah, we're
Speaker 4: you know, we're making it work for getting by. It's
Speaker 4: not always, it's not always you know, easy.
Speaker 2: But yeah, well, you know, it sounds like you guys
Speaker 2: are both. I mean, if you had three hundred people
Speaker 2: at the wedding, it sounds like you have a strong
Speaker 2: community around you.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, they were the most of them were family.
Speaker 4: We got a big family on both sides, and we're
Speaker 4: very loved and we love love all of our family.
Speaker 4: You know, we don't have any I guess I say,
Speaker 4: tweakers or drug addicts in our family, only us kids.
Speaker 4: You know, we evade, but nobody smokes. To my knowledge,
Speaker 4: I have a very clean, straightforward family. Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 4: I'm not personally a religious person, but it would probably
Speaker 4: help in the oncoming future.
Speaker 2: We'll see, there's probably what in the youngcoming future.
Speaker 4: It would probably help in the oncoming future.
Speaker 2: That was what you said. You said religion would help
Speaker 2: in the oncoming future.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure it would particular that way.
Speaker 4: What makes you feel that way, I'm I'm do you
Speaker 4: ever watch Young Sheldon?
Speaker 2: You No, I've never watched. I have not watched it.
Speaker 4: I like, I am right with that kid. I you know, faith,
Speaker 4: religion is faith sciences facts, and I just choose facts.
Speaker 4: I like evolution and whatnot. It kind of appeals to
Speaker 4: me versus religion. And most of the people that I
Speaker 4: know personally that are religious, they turned religious when a
Speaker 4: terrible event happened in his life, so they relied on it,
Speaker 4: which you know, I'm not dissing on that. That's a
Speaker 4: good thing. They need all the help they can. And
Speaker 4: I've never been in a situation where I needed religion.
Speaker 4: I've never been to church for funerals and whatnot. I
Speaker 4: wasn't married in a church or anything. Is out in
Speaker 4: a pasture like a horse pasture. But yeah, I'm not
Speaker 4: I'm not particularly religion religious, but my wife thinks it
Speaker 4: might be a good idea for our kids to grow
Speaker 4: up in a religious household. I kind of was, you know,
Speaker 4: we said held hands, said grace every night before dinner.
Speaker 4: So I do agree with the morale it provides, but
Speaker 4: I don't go to church on Sundays.
Speaker 2: I do agree that it provides a sense of culture.
Speaker 4: And community, yeah, in which I do like.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think I mainly have problems with it
Speaker 2: when it like is used to invoke like fear.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, And you know, I can't totally agree because
Speaker 4: I have no idea. I don't I've never read the Bible.
Speaker 4: I don't know much about religion because I've never you know,
Speaker 4: put much time or thought towards it, because I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just watched Animal Planet, and I feel like that
Speaker 4: might kind of against religious religion. But who knows.
Speaker 2: Well. I appreciate you, yeah, of course, crap. I feel
Speaker 2: like I should have remembered your name.
Speaker 7: It was Josh starts with an l oh logan Logan,
Speaker 7: No I remember logan. Logan is nice talking, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 2: I hope that you sound you sound blessed, You sound
Speaker 2: like you have a nice future. I hope you're you know,
Speaker 2: good to your family. I hope your family is good
Speaker 2: to you. I hope that the the soil is good
Speaker 2: to you. I I don't know if you're on a farm.
Speaker 2: I don't think you said you were, but I'm going
Speaker 2: to pretend I grew up on a farm. I hope
Speaker 2: the soil is good to you. And good luck in
Speaker 2: your life. Brother.
Speaker 4: Thank you. You enjoyed the rest of your evening.
Speaker 2: Hey, take care.
Speaker 4: Logan all right, But.
Speaker 2: Logan is interesting Logan's interesting. I'm talking. We're talking to
Speaker 2: Logan and you know, he's talking and he's saying things
Speaker 2: where I'm like, you know, but you know what, listen,
Speaker 2: I don't know. We live in the same Me and
Speaker 2: Logan and everyone listening to this. We all live on
Speaker 2: the same stupid planet. We're all gonna die. You know,
Speaker 2: you gotta figure it out. We live on we we
Speaker 2: live every every when I think comes to terms with
Speaker 2: the fact, you gotta come to terms with the fact
Speaker 2: that you live in a place with lots of people
Speaker 2: who uh uh uh, you know, treat life differently than
Speaker 2: you might. Everything is so much bigger than you. I
Speaker 2: don't know, politics and economics and social whatever. It's just
Speaker 2: it's the reconciliation of that fact. I'm waxing poetic too much,
Speaker 2: but I wanted to have some post call thoughts. That
Speaker 2: was Logan. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end
Speaker 2: of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus
Speaker 2: episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of
Speaker 2: the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a
Speaker 2: premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapy Gecko dot
Speaker 2: supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes,
Speaker 2: they get a completely ad free podcast feed of the
Speaker 2: regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members
Speaker 2: only streams, and they help support my ability to continue
Speaker 2: doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's
Speaker 2: members only bonus episode. Alex, You're the most bashed I
Speaker 2: think I've ever talked to. You have a red face
Speaker 2: with big rosy cheeks. Tell me how else have you
Speaker 2: thought to consume breast milk? Would you put chocolate syrup
Speaker 2: in it? Would you make it as part of a milkshake? Well?
Speaker 1: I mean why not?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know. I feel like if I
Speaker 5: became a dad, It's like I always tell people, like,
Speaker 5: if I ever became a dad, I gotta make fatherhood
Speaker 5: like efcentric. I gotta make it like not born like.
Speaker 2: If you want to hear this full conversation, you can
Speaker 2: sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko
Speaker 2: dot supercast dot com or find the link in the
Speaker 2: episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,
Speaker 2: I have nothing else to say.
Speaker 1: Never goes on the.
Speaker 2: Line, making your song calls every night.
Speaker 1: Everything goes to stagingsud in the mean of your life.
Speaker 2: An expert