1 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to You Need Therapy Podcast. 2 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: My name is Kat and I am the host. And 3 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: before we get into anything, a quick reminder that this 4 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:25,119 Speaker 1: podcast cannot and does not serve as a replacement for therapy. However, 5 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: with that, it might encourage you to go to therapy 6 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: or it might encourage you to talk about something new 7 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: in your therapeutic process. So today is a really fun 8 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: day because I get to have a conversation with one 9 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: of my friends, and I'm pumped to bring you this conversation. 10 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 1: It is with somebody who I now, I just realized 11 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 1: this when we were talking, but I've known him for 12 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: ten years. His name is Luke, and we met in 13 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: grad school in two thousand twelve when we went to 14 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: Vanderbilt's Human Development Counseling program. And our careers have been 15 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: led in different directions. But when you get to hear 16 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: us talk about our experience in the program and all 17 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: that it gave us and the things we wish you 18 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 1: would have known as pre therapists getting into the field. 19 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 1: Luke was back in the day, he was a program 20 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: director for a summer camp and he did that for 21 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: thirteen years and then eventually moved on to be a 22 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: primary therapist and the head of adolescent Therapy for an IOP, 23 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: which is an intensive outpatient therapy program in Nashville called 24 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 1: Integrative Life Center. Now, however, he is the president of 25 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: a company called Dream for. His company is a personal 26 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: well being and leadership development company and what they do 27 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: is help their partners intentionally move their company forward to 28 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: organizational health by inspiring healthy people, developing healthy leaders, and 29 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: building healthy teams. He is married to his wife, Ivy 30 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: and they have two kids, Annie who was born in 31 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: two seventeen and then Alice, who was born in two 32 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: thousand and nineteen, and they live in Birmingham, Alabama. So 33 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: we did this over zoom. But Luke is an amazing person. 34 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for the conversation we had, and he 35 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 1: was somebody that I was so excited to talk to 36 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,359 Speaker 1: you because I was like, this could literally go anywhere, 37 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,639 Speaker 1: and I like where it went. I liked the things 38 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: we talked about, and hopefully you guys out there will 39 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: get something from it as well, because I know I did. 40 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: And then I just wanted to say we talked about 41 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: at the end of our conversation how people can get 42 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: in touch with Luke, if they hear about Dream four 43 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: and what they do, and if you want to be 44 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: a part of it or want them to help you 45 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,399 Speaker 1: or your company or the leaders in your life. Um. 46 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: We talked about the website. However, it's actually undergoing rebranding, 47 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: so it doesn't actually give a clear picture of Dream four. 48 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,119 Speaker 1: So he said he would rather you guys reach out 49 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: to him. Luke's email, I'm gonna put it in the 50 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 1: show notes. It's l u k E dot d u 51 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 1: R a h A M at dream d r e 52 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: a M for the number four impact. I M P 53 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: A c T dot com. Of course I'm gonna put 54 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: that in the show notes because I'm assuming you guys 55 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: are in your car maybe and don't have a pen 56 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 1: and a piece of paper to write that down. So 57 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: thank you Luke for doing this with me, and thank 58 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: you guys for you know, coming and listening to this podcast, 59 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: whether it's your first time or you've listened to every 60 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: single episode. I am grateful for you. I hope you 61 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: guys get what you need to get out of this 62 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: conversation and have the day you need to have. Here 63 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: is my conversation with my friend Luke. Welcome, guys I'm 64 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: sitting here with. Honestly, these are ways I was just 65 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: texting somebody. These are the interviews that I really enjoy. 66 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I enjoy all of them. I shouldn't say that, 67 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: but these are the interviews that I really enjoyed. Because 68 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: I'm sitting with an old I can call you an 69 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: old friend, not in like your age, but like an 70 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: old friend. And we've known each other for yeah, ten years. 71 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: That's crazy. We started our program in two thousand twelve. 72 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: That's so weird. Okay, so this is my friend Luke 73 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: and he was in my graduate school program in two 74 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: thousand and twelve years ago. Our program was three years. 75 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: I remember being like, I'm never going to graduate and 76 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: it was ten years when we started that in two thousand. 77 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: Gwel the path. It seemed like such a huge mountain 78 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: to not only get through school with them, to do 79 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: anything with it afterwards, Like yeah, never, I'll never know it. Yes, 80 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: Which is so funny because I have a couple of 81 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: clients that are in counseling programs and I've worked with 82 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: people that actually have been in our program, and it's 83 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: just so weird. It is so strange. I'm like, wait, 84 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: I remember being you and looking at people that had 85 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: graduated from here and being like, I want to be 86 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 1: like that. So anyway, I asked Luke to come on 87 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: the podcast because he has a couple of unique experiences 88 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: in the world of going back to school and in 89 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: the world of going back to school and mental health capacity. 90 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: So he was a guy identifies as a man in 91 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: our program, and our program had I want to say, 92 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: like a round thirty people in it, and half of 93 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: those were school counselors, half of them were mental health counselors. 94 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: So we were like fifteen people that were most closely 95 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 1: tied together. And in that fifteen people there two men. 96 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: That was it. In our cohort, two men. And on 97 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: top of that, I don't know that like ratio of this, 98 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 1: but I would say the majority of people in our 99 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: program where people who entered straight out of undergrad or 100 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: maybe two or three years pretty pretty quick afterward. I 101 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: think I was the second oldest in the program or 102 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 1: in our cohort. I had graduated from undergrad and of 103 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: five so I waited, you know, seven years after graduation. 104 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: I was married. I had a career at that point 105 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: that I continued throughout graduates and so I was. I 106 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: was in very much a different stage of life than 107 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: the vast majority of our cohort. Yeah, I forgot you 108 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: liter really worked your job the whole time that you 109 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: were in school, and I was very blessed in the 110 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,119 Speaker 1: fact that, I mean, I had jobs, but they weren't 111 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: full time jobs. So on top of going back to 112 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: school full time, then you have to have an internship, 113 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 1: like I don't know how you did that, So I 114 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: want to talk to Luke about that and just what 115 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,280 Speaker 1: that was like. And then also, you went into school 116 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,359 Speaker 1: with the intention never to be a therapist, is what 117 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: I understand. I didn't know, right. I don't think I 118 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: had the path clearly set out in front of me. Um. 119 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,840 Speaker 1: You know, my undergraduate degrees were in in psychology and communication, 120 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 1: but I didn't know what I wanted to do when 121 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: I finished. I knew that it would be a possibility 122 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: to go be a full time kind of psychotherapist mental 123 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: health clinician, but I didn't think that that was the 124 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: direction I was going to go. And it turns out 125 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: that while I did some of that part time after graduation, 126 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: that that's not the route that I chose. So it 127 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 1: was not sure in the beginning, but it ended up 128 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: being the right decision. So let's talk about first, like 129 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: what it was like for you to go back to 130 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: school later, because I was telling you before we started recording. 131 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: I hear all the time from clients a lot, but 132 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: just in life, like so many fears around going back 133 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,239 Speaker 1: to school for something. Especially one of the reasonings around 134 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 1: the fear, which I understand, is what if I don't 135 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: like it? Like what if I want to think I 136 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: want to be a therapist, and then I go to 137 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: this program and I invest my time in it, and 138 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: then I realized I don't like doing therapy. And that's 139 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: just one example of one route you could take. And 140 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: and what I want people to know is that with 141 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: those fifteen people in our cohort, I really think probably 142 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: maybe four or five of us are active in what 143 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: we set out with our eyes set on to do 144 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: when we went into that program. I think the rest 145 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: of people of the people have some kind of career, 146 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 1: but it's not necessarily in this like very straightforward, I'm 147 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: a their piste role. I want you to talk about 148 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: what it's like to go back to school and what 149 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: made you make the decision and what gave you like 150 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 1: permission to do that? Absolutely well, I mean it was 151 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: it was a joint decision. Right at that point, I 152 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 1: was I was married, you know, I got married in 153 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: two thousand and ten, and so we were, you know, 154 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: thinking about what our life started to look like, what 155 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: I wanted to do as as a career. And you know, 156 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: I think for the people that are thinking about that 157 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: later in life is that they look at something like 158 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: a counseling program, you know, a secondary degree, and they 159 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: think there's just only one really specific thing that can 160 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: come from that. What I want to encourage people that 161 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,599 Speaker 1: are looking at a counseling program is I want to 162 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: ask yourself, is this what you want? I don't think 163 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: we ask ourselves that enough of truly, like what do 164 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: I want? What do I want to be able to accomplish? 165 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,200 Speaker 1: What do I want to be able to do? And 166 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:52,079 Speaker 1: not just specifically do you want to be a psychotherapist? 167 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 1: Do you want to be a mental health clinician? What 168 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:59,319 Speaker 1: drove me back was the desire to learn about human development, 169 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 1: that does I are to learn about how people think? 170 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: I think it came from a place of I believe 171 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: that the best thing that we can do with our 172 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: time on earth is to make a positive impact on 173 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: other people. And the way that we can do that 174 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: most effectively, right is to understand how people operate, why 175 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: we make the decisions we make, what drives us, and 176 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: then more importantly, how do we start changing those patterns 177 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: of thinking, right, the the lies that we've learned from 178 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: early ages, right, our attachment style and all of those things. 179 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,079 Speaker 1: How do we start to rewire because we can do 180 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: that and most of us, yeah, exactly, you can't relearn, 181 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: you can't change. But the truth of the matter is 182 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: like we were literally designed to change all the time. 183 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 1: And that's beautiful, but a lot of people don't don't 184 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: believe it. And so that's what that pulled me back 185 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: in was really to start to understand more about how 186 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: human beings thought and how do we change patterns of behavior. 187 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: And the coolest it was is that I learned that 188 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 1: about me that three years a lot of ways kind 189 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: of broke me down. It broke down a lot of 190 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: the lens in which I viewed the world, and and 191 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: it helped put me back together in a in a 192 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 1: stronger way. And so on just a personal level, man, 193 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,199 Speaker 1: it was it was so valuable. So two things came 194 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: up aziers talking one. I get this over and over 195 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,960 Speaker 1: over and over and over again. When people here that 196 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: I do what I do, there's this like immediate fear 197 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: and then it's like, well, are you analyzing me? Are 198 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: you analyzing me to the point where, like I took 199 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: off when I was on dating sites, I took off 200 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: what I did because I was like, I think that this. 201 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: Either people are like, oh, I got two sides of Oh, 202 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: she's a therapist, like she can help me. I'm gonna 203 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: go on this first date in trauma, dump everything, or 204 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: it's like I'm not doing that because she's gonna judge me. 205 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,079 Speaker 1: And I get that all the time, like oh, are 206 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: you analyzing me? Are you can judge me all of this? 207 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: And I love what you said because I went back 208 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,839 Speaker 1: to school to be a I didn't. I was a 209 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: hot mess. I didn't exactly know what I was doing, 210 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: but you were figuring it out. I was figuring out. 211 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: But I wanted to understand people. And I think that's 212 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: the difference between people. I think that we want we 213 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: want to like diagnose and pathologize people, when it's like no, 214 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: it's we want to understand, and then we want to 215 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: offer hope like that's what I just heard you say. 216 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: And I want to encourage other people that might have 217 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: that immediate fear when they hear that somebody is in 218 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: a helping profession like that, Like, if you're good at 219 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: what you do, we're not looking for you to be 220 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: bad or wrong. We're looking for ways that we can 221 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,199 Speaker 1: better understand the things that might not have made sense otherwise. 222 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: I think, you know, I'll look at whether you're a 223 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: practicing psychotherapist or not. I'll look at anybody in the 224 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: helping profession role right as a perspective giver, I really do. 225 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: It is a place where you can sit out and 226 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: talk with somebody and here from a third party, non judgmental, 227 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: you know, unconditional, positive regard place. Uh, let's think through 228 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: what you're going through. Let's normalize some of this stuff, 229 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 1: and then let's let's let's see what we can do 230 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: to move forward. Because I get the same thing is 231 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: that if I tell people that you know, uh, you know, 232 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,679 Speaker 1: a therapist or in the helping world, right, it's it's 233 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 1: one of two reactions. It's terror of you are analyzing me, 234 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: and I'm running away from you and not gonna say anything, 235 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 1: which probably means you actually need to talk to a therapist, 236 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: or it is I'm going to tell you everything everything 237 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: like sweet, this is free therapy right now. Um. And 238 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: you know, I don't like either of those reactions, and 239 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 1: I imagine from a dating perspective, like that's not a 240 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: great place to start on either one of them. But 241 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: I really do look at what I learned in the 242 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 1: process that I went through through graduate school, through working 243 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: as a therapist, and then transition in INK into more 244 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:05,359 Speaker 1: of just a helping professional world inside of corporate America. 245 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: Is perspective giving. It really is. It is helping people 246 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:14,839 Speaker 1: understand how they're thinking, to know that it's okay that 247 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: they can learn to make better decisions and making one 248 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 1: better decision after another, build some better habits, and that 249 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 1: leads to being more accountable and and truly like a 250 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: more positive, productive life where you feel authentic in it. Right, 251 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: you feel comfortable in your own skin. And you know, 252 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 1: I love the title of your podcast, right because we 253 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 1: all do. We all do, whether we want to admit 254 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,119 Speaker 1: it or not, whether you go to an actual therapist, 255 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: we all need therapy. We all need a place in 256 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 1: our life that can be therapeutic. Be careful where you 257 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,680 Speaker 1: look for it. Problem. I do recommend an actual therapist, 258 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: please everyone listening, but we all need a space in 259 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: our world that can be therapeutic. The other thing that 260 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,680 Speaker 1: I heard that I really love in that is how 261 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: much you were looking to gain and learn about yourself. 262 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:12,479 Speaker 1: Like I was like transformed through not like the courses 263 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:18,439 Speaker 1: that we took, but the experience of understanding humans at 264 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: a different level, and like the amount of like relationship 265 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: building that's involved and what you see, like my world 266 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: was opened up. Like I remember going to my first 267 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: internship and being like is this And I was just 268 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: open up to like this whole other world where offered 269 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,120 Speaker 1: me so much grace and understanding And I left that 270 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 1: a different person. So I think even like going to 271 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: a program like that offers space for you to be 272 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: transformed just as much as it offers a space to 273 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: help other people transform. Yeah, and I think that you're 274 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: going back right is to your original question. It's not 275 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: about going into this per him to just be a 276 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 1: psychotherapist or mental health. It is a process of self 277 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: exploration that you almost don't realize it's happening at the moment, 278 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: but you have to do it, and you get hit 279 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 1: with different experiences along the way that kind of just 280 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: blow your your world open um. You know, you talked 281 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: about walking into your first internship and like having your 282 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 1: kind of mind blown. Is that? Like I walked into 283 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: the Integrative Life Center in Nashville, which is an unbelievable place, 284 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 1: but for me, it was so different from what I 285 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: had experienced, right, like a true holistic approach to human development, 286 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 1: mental health. All of those places. You know, we were 287 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 1: doing yoga and meditation and breathing and all of these 288 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: different cool experiential work, you know, and I'm like, what 289 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: is this? But the coolest part about that was and 290 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: this was, you know, kind of speaking to what my 291 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,080 Speaker 1: perspective is like being a male in this help in 292 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: perfection world. Is I had an unbelievable supervisor and mentor. 293 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: Stephen was just fantastic and just a loving guy. We've 294 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: since lost Stephen these pasts, but just such an amazing 295 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: person who taught me what it was like to be 296 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 1: a male in this world um and how to make connections. 297 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: You know, he worked with the men's group in there, 298 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: but how to how to just connect with anyone. It 299 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 1: was such a powerful experience and like, like you referenced 300 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: and said it just it completely changed me. And that 301 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: those three years, and truly probably for a couple of 302 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: years after, was this process of self exploration, understanding how 303 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: I thought about myself, how I thought about the world, 304 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: how I thought about people. That that really, really, I mean, 305 00:16:52,360 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: you changed my life. It did. I'm thinking now, as 306 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: you said that, as people will ask like, what's the 307 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,919 Speaker 1: difference been a good therapist and a bad therapist? Like 308 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,920 Speaker 1: what what a good therapists have that bad therapists don't want? 309 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: And like, I don't have a great answer for that. 310 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: But one thing that I don't think you can get 311 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 1: away from if you want to do, if you want 312 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,360 Speaker 1: to be a good helper, is acknowledging all of your 313 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 1: own stuff, which is one of the hardest things in 314 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 1: the whole world. And when you mentioned Stephen, it made 315 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 1: me think about my first supervisor, Janet probably went to 316 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: dinner with last week. I still luckily get to see 317 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,400 Speaker 1: her when our schedules aligned, but she was going through 318 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: like personal stuff. When I met her, everybody looked at 319 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: her and they're like, oh, you get to have Janet. 320 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: She's amazing. She's incredible. She's such a good therapist, and 321 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 1: she was the psychodramas and the stuff that I saw 322 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: her do. I was like, you are like a therapist, 323 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 1: which like I don't know what you do, Like I 324 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: don't know how you do this, like it's magical. But 325 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: then when it was like me and her in her office, 326 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,399 Speaker 1: she would cry, like she would talk to me about 327 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: her bad day, as she would talk about the struggles 328 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: it is to be a therapist and have your own 329 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,879 Speaker 1: stuff going on, like she invited in like this human 330 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 1: part that I was like, oh, like, so to be 331 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 1: a therapist, I also have to acknowledge my stuff and 332 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: also in that it's okay to acknowledge my stuff because 333 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: I went in Yeah, I went into and I think 334 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 1: it's kind of how I was raised me in the 335 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 1: world I was in. But like I went into school 336 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,440 Speaker 1: and to my internship as I don't have any issues 337 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 1: and so therefore I can help people, Like what the 338 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,920 Speaker 1: fund is that like the reason I don't think we 339 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 1: have to have this No, And first, yeah, first of all, 340 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:43,679 Speaker 1: I was I was just asleep to all of my stuff. 341 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: But like also people cannot relate and connect to any 342 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 1: kind of perfection and humanness because it's not real. So 343 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: I think that that was one of the defining factors 344 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 1: of me being able to actually show up and help people, 345 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: is that, like I allowed myself to he's super, super messy, 346 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 1: and I still do. I still have to apologize for things. 347 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 1: I still have to like go to therapy and work 348 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: on my stuff. And I mean, I think it's the 349 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 1: one thing that stands out is that apparently Janet and 350 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 1: Stephen were awesome and we got really fortunate, right. We 351 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: always called Stephen the wizard. Um he was just he 352 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 1: was just magical with people. Um it was. It was amazing. 353 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: And then too, you know, in the beginning of this 354 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: this journey that we had at Vanderbilt, like we got 355 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: hit over the head constantly with the term self care, 356 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 1: I mean routinely, and I don't think anybody did a 357 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: good job defining what that was for us at all. 358 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,879 Speaker 1: And we have a terrible just understanding in society of 359 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 1: what self care actually is. But I think that you're right. 360 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: The exploration of what makes a good therapist versus a 361 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: bat therapist truly is is that person working acknowledging, embracing 362 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 1: and working on their own things. Are they willing to 363 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 1: dive into their stuff and to normalize that we've got 364 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: our crap too, into to own it and to work 365 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: on it constantly consistent, Right, I think that is a 366 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: huge differentiator if you're if you're out there and you're 367 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:12,679 Speaker 1: about to get us to down with the therapist for 368 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 1: the first time, and you don't feel like that person 369 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: is a is a person dealing with their own stuff too. 370 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: You're expecting them to fix you one check your mindset 371 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: to that person that you're sitting down across from the 372 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: piers to have it all together. It might not be 373 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: the right person. So okay, can you speak a little 374 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,679 Speaker 1: bit to like what it was like for you to 375 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 1: be because I never really thought about it, like to 376 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 1: be one of the only men in a classroom sometimes 377 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: or it sounds like you had some male presence in 378 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 1: your internship, but like, and I know we had some 379 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 1: male professors and instructors and that was probably helpful, but like, 380 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: what was that like to be in a room full 381 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: of women talking about I don't know if we did 382 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 1: this much, but like talking about like roles in life, 383 00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 1: and it was almost more interesting that I will older 384 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: and that I was in such a different stage of 385 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: life it really was, And I think it had less 386 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: of an effect on me as the male female dynamic 387 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 1: because it did kind of just the stage of life 388 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: and that I was twenty seven eight or whatever I 389 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 1: was when I when we started, which is so good, 390 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: Like I was, I know, but I think about this 391 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 1: when I was twenty two and I saw you as 392 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: this like older adult, and I'm like, you weren't that 393 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: much older than me by a number age and certainly 394 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: by like Luke's mental health at that point in time. No, 395 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,040 Speaker 1: I was, you know, I was just in the middle 396 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 1: of figuring out who I was and what I wanted 397 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,439 Speaker 1: and who I wanted to be in kind of my 398 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,159 Speaker 1: own journey towards authenticity at that point in time too, 399 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 1: Like you, I think I might have been still been 400 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: asleep to something. Actually I know I was. It was 401 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,640 Speaker 1: interesting maybe the way that I got treated both as 402 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 1: a male and as an older male. I think I 403 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 1: got looked at like like you said, maybe this guy 404 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 1: hasn't all figured out, or he's that much older, he's 405 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,919 Speaker 1: in such a different place that he's got it all 406 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,199 Speaker 1: figured out. Type of thing. People would come to me 407 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: kind of naturally, and for whether it was for advice 408 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,359 Speaker 1: or for comfort or just maybe a little bit of perspective. 409 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 1: And so it was it was a role that I 410 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 1: was I was comfortable with, you know, the job that 411 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: I had at that point in time, it was an 412 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: awesome job and worked at I worked at a rand 413 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,719 Speaker 1: a summer camp and menton in Alabama, and part of 414 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 1: what I did was interview higher and build a staff 415 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 1: of of guys that would come in the summer camp staff, 416 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 1: and I led them right. I brought together the team 417 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: and that was my that was my job and my role, 418 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,359 Speaker 1: and so it's somewhat felt natural, But there also was 419 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,439 Speaker 1: this extra weight um that I don't know that I 420 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,120 Speaker 1: carried well, or didn't even know that I carried. Maybe 421 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,440 Speaker 1: that I think the people that in the program kind 422 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: of looked at times to me for an answer or 423 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,400 Speaker 1: for guidance, and maybe I felt some of the pressure 424 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: like when a when a professor would ask a question, 425 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 1: to feel like I had to provide a different perspective, 426 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: not necessarily to be the first one to answer, but 427 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,919 Speaker 1: you would hear a lot of similar perspectives, right, and 428 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: then it was almost like every eye in the room 429 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: would kind of in head and the room would turn 430 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 1: towards Luke and be like and now for the dude perspective, right, 431 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,919 Speaker 1: and the different perspective, And so there was probably a 432 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 1: certain degree of pressure with that. Kind of felt like 433 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: I was speaking for metals and the other guy in 434 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: our program wasn't about as quiet as you could get, 435 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 1: and so he wasn't gonna be anything. I don't think 436 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 1: we spoke more than five where to each other in 437 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 1: three years. And yeah, he was a really nice guy. 438 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 1: You know, he wasn't gonna say anything, and we kind 439 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: of formed an interesting bond. But I think there was 440 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 1: some weight to it, and probably one that I wasn't 441 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 1: prepared for or even anticipating, right, because we we don't 442 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 1: really see the lens in which we view the world 443 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,359 Speaker 1: until it gets cracked, until we have experience that puts 444 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 1: us outside of our comfort zones or our norms, And 445 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 1: so there was no way that I could have been 446 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,400 Speaker 1: prepared ready for that. You just experience it and then 447 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 1: you navigate through it. And I probably didn't do it 448 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,679 Speaker 1: well or maybe as well as well. I think you 449 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: did the best you could. I think that was I 450 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: really love hearing you say you don't see the lens, 451 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: you see the world until it's cracked. It's like, yeah, 452 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaker 1: in hindsight, I would go back and do something differently, 453 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: but how was I can't know something until I know 454 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 1: it exactly. I mean, there's there's no regret towards that. 455 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 1: I think. It is just you know, you look back 456 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,640 Speaker 1: and think about how much you and I just personally 457 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 1: have grown and since we've met each other in ten years. 458 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 1: I mean, of course you want to go back to 459 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: two thousand and twelve version of each one of us 460 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 1: in shake that person and wake him up a little bit. 461 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: But I do think that I don't know which side 462 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: played more of a role in kind of what I experienced, 463 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 1: the age or the or the or the gender, you know, 464 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 1: but it was interesting either which way. If you could 465 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,919 Speaker 1: go back and say something to Luke in the middle 466 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: of the program, not at the beginning, at the end, 467 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: but like in the middle of it, like what what 468 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 1: would you want to like say when you said you 469 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: wanted to shake that version of you? Is there something 470 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 1: you would want to say a lot? Uh, it's it's 471 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: almost it's hard to distill kind of how much I've 472 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,439 Speaker 1: grown in the last you know, really almost in the 473 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,400 Speaker 1: last three years. I see it as kind of like 474 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,199 Speaker 1: the true version of me or the version that I 475 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 1: enjoy that most of myself has come out. But I 476 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,479 Speaker 1: think in the middle of the program, from just like 477 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 1: a a personal standpoint, what I would say, like, you 478 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 1: don't know, be open to learn any more, take in perspectives, 479 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 1: and be okay with not having an answer. I think 480 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: so many people right that that go into those type 481 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 1: of programs are exploring the meddal health profession. I think 482 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,680 Speaker 1: that they're supposed to have answers, are to be able 483 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 1: to fix something that's impossible. Get rid of that expectation 484 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 1: to yourself that is a burden that none of us 485 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: should ever try to carry. It's impossible, it doesn't work, um. 486 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 1: And so I think at that point in time, I 487 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: would tell myself be open to learning, you don't know everything, 488 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,199 Speaker 1: and then to UM. And this is something that I 489 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 1: think I tried to impart to the younger people in 490 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,639 Speaker 1: the program, was the grades don't matter. Oh my god, 491 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 1: nobody is ever going to come into your office and 492 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 1: sit down and want to talk about their crab and 493 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 1: and go wait before I tell you about you know, 494 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 1: my my suicidal thoughts. What was your g P A 495 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 1: real quick UM and specifically in this one course. Right, 496 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: what did you get in your statistics class or your 497 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 1: assessment of statistics? I think I got like the grade 498 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,320 Speaker 1: I needed to get to pass it. None of that 499 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: stuff matters, Like do the personal work of self exploration 500 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 1: and do the work to to learn how to connect 501 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,959 Speaker 1: with other people. Because truly to me, that that is 502 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,119 Speaker 1: that is the asis for being a good helping professional. 503 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: Is how willing are you to step into somebody else's 504 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 1: shoes and in their experience and to have unconditional positive 505 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,479 Speaker 1: regard for it, like to just to own them and 506 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:18,119 Speaker 1: to to walk alongside them. It's helping people is not 507 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: about pushing or pulling them in any direction, right, It's 508 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: about walking alongside That is a true process that you 509 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: have to go through to learn. And I'll also tell 510 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 1: this to people too, is that it requires training in practice. 511 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,520 Speaker 1: You can't just do that. Yes, knowledge is not enough 512 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: to do the work that we're all doing. If it was, 513 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,679 Speaker 1: we could all just read a book. And if it was, 514 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 1: then like we wouldn't have to have the internships and 515 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: we wouldn't have to I think that's so important, so important. 516 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: I was trying to answer that question myself and At first, 517 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 1: I was thinking before you spoke, I would say, I 518 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,960 Speaker 1: think I would tell myself to pay attention. But I 519 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 1: think I would tell my elf that because of what 520 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,400 Speaker 1: you said of like be open to learning. I think 521 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,359 Speaker 1: in my head it was like I know enough, I 522 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: know what I know, I think what I think. But 523 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,119 Speaker 1: the other thing I wonder, I wish I could go 524 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,479 Speaker 1: back and talk to myself too, is like did I 525 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: think I knew enough? Or was I afraid of what 526 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: I didn't know? That that feels like yeah, because I 527 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 1: think that I was always like one of the one 528 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 1: my family. My role was like the smart one, and 529 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,800 Speaker 1: so I clung to that, and in some of those 530 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: classes I was so lost, and so it was like 531 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: two parts of that. Afraid of what I didn't know 532 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 1: because like maybe I didn't understand what was happening, but 533 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: also like what am I going to find if I 534 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 1: hear what's being taught? Like what am I going to 535 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: find in myself? There's two things. Yeah, I think that 536 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,520 Speaker 1: was part of it. And so if I could say something, 537 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: I think it would be like like it's okay, want 538 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: to not know things because so often I'm sitting with 539 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: a client and I don't know what to say. I'm 540 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: just like, oh, okay, okay, and I don't know what 541 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 1: they need. And sometimes I say that, like, I don't 542 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: really know what you need right now. So we've got 543 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 1: to figure that out. Because so it's not about knowing. 544 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: The best therapist that I've ever had that I still 545 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: see on occasion is he said to me, we're gonna 546 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 1: go on a fishing expedition and we're gonna walk around 547 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: and we're gonna drop lines. I'm gonna ask a whole 548 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 1: bunch of questions, adopt your life and your family history, 549 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: your background, and we may come up completely empty, and 550 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,480 Speaker 1: we all may we also may find something. As a 551 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: therapist is a helping professional, like you don't know the 552 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 1: answer or the path for that person because it's their path. 553 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: It is something that you put your arm around somebody 554 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: and that you walk along with them, and then you 555 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 1: go on this expedition and you find it. You may 556 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: take a really long time to find it, or you 557 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: may find it really quickly. But it is about that, 558 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: and I think that I think I think you're right. 559 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 1: I think what we were to go back there into 560 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: that space is those roles that we that we embodied 561 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,720 Speaker 1: from a young age. Right. You talked about your role 562 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 1: was the smart one. My role was the golden gil 563 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: to always be perfect. Right, that's not surprising. I was 564 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 1: the on the baby of five, you know, of five 565 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters, five siblings, and so for me, it 566 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 1: was always about protecting my image to other people. I 567 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,680 Speaker 1: had to appear like I had it all together. I 568 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: had to appear like I knew everything, or that I 569 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: was successful or whatever else. And oh my gosh, what 570 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: a burden. Right, And I don't think I picked up 571 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 1: that until I was probably in my mid thirties, um, 572 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: when I went on this fishing expedition and and and 573 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: started to learn that. And that I think that's part 574 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: of you go back to, you know, being an older person, 575 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 1: being a mail in that program, is that I took 576 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 1: on that responsibility, right, I took on that weight of 577 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: how do I appear to my codewords, to my classmates, 578 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: to my professors, two of the people around me. And 579 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 1: holy fully, that's that's not healthy, right, That is incongrument. 580 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: Living in incongrument living is exhausting. So we're gonna transition 581 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 1: because I want you to talk a little bit about 582 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 1: your path to what you're doing now, because a couple 583 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 1: of years ago, I don't know if I got a 584 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: phone call or a text from you. If it was 585 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:22,160 Speaker 1: a phone call, I probably didn't and if it was attacked, 586 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:28,240 Speaker 1: answer like three days later. Okay, I have to look 587 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,200 Speaker 1: right now how many miscalls I have on my phone. 588 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,360 Speaker 1: It might make it might make you feel better. But 589 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,480 Speaker 1: hold on, let's see here what do I have? I have? 590 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: So for anybody listening to this, let me just set 591 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 1: up how this zoom call started. That is that case. 592 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: He's like, okay, hey, it can so. Luke is like 593 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 1: here with the notes at nine fifty five, right, and 594 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: then fully expecting a text at ten from Catherine to say, hey, 595 00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be late, which is exactly how. That's only 596 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 1: three minutes late. Um, still it was late. And I 597 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 1: said that, and then I said I bet you're early, 598 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: and then he was like, yes, I am. So I 599 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 1: have right now twenty four miss text, which isn't that 600 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 1: that's not that many. I have two thousand seven and 601 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: twelve unopened emails. Like, my heart's racing when you say that, 602 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:22,120 Speaker 1: because you yours, you're probably a zero. I cannot live 603 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,640 Speaker 1: in a world with that little red circle. I have 604 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,560 Speaker 1: twenty five miss calls twenty two voicemails. So the moral 605 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: of that story is, do not call me. I have 606 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 1: all night answer. Anyway, So I got some kind of 607 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 1: communication from you a couple of years ago, and you 608 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 1: you have said like, hey, I'm doing this new thing, 609 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 1: and we ended up coming down and talking to some 610 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: of the people you're working with. But I was like, 611 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 1: wait a second, I thought you were working at a camp, 612 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: and so I want you to talk about like we 613 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 1: kind of talked about you, like why and like being 614 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: open minded, but what moved you into the space where 615 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: you're working now, and maybe talk a little bit about 616 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,040 Speaker 1: like what it is that you even do, because your 617 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 1: job is pretty cool. It is um And So four 618 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: or four and a half years ago, as I was 619 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: looking from a transition from Awesome Camp that I was 620 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 1: getting an opportunity to run, I started interviewing around and 621 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 1: came across an organization that had just started off cal 622 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: Dream for still with dream for Now recently transitioned into 623 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: the I guess the president role whatever, the leader of 624 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 1: the company. Wait, when did that happen in the last 625 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 1: two months or so? Oh my gosh, congratulations, Thank you. 626 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 1: It's been awesome and terrifying and all of the things 627 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 1: that come along with, you know, new role in that 628 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 1: extra layer of responsibility. But yeah, it's been it's been 629 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: really cool. What attracted me to this when I sat 630 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,520 Speaker 1: down and met with the folks that dreamed For first 631 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:58,080 Speaker 1: was this idea that inside of corporate culture ins out 632 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: of corporate America, specifically, that there is this expectation from corporations, 633 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: from leaders inside of corporations, that we when we come 634 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: into work, we're supposed to check our personal stuff at 635 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 1: the door, right, that hey, leave that personal baggage outside 636 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 1: and come in and get in here and just do 637 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: the work. And then the reality is like, we can't 638 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 1: do that. It's literally impossible. We cannot be compartmentalized like that. 639 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 1: Right when I have a fight with my wife, like 640 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: that's going to transition to when I walk into the office, 641 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 1: and just the opposite, right, is that if I have 642 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 1: a hard day at the office, I can go home 643 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,759 Speaker 1: and be a little bit shorter with my kids and 644 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,839 Speaker 1: all of those things suck, but that's the nature of 645 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: being human, um, and it happens. And so dream For 646 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,799 Speaker 1: kind of was founded with the idea of if we 647 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: have good things going on our personal lives, we typically 648 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 1: have good things going on our professional lives. So how 649 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 1: can we, as dreamed For, bring that into the corporate workspace? 650 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,720 Speaker 1: Is giving people a space to work on their personal 651 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 1: well being while act work. And so what we have 652 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,040 Speaker 1: transition to over the last four years as we have 653 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: built this organization is that dream For is a personal 654 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 1: well being and leadership development company. We want to help 655 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 1: companies move forward and move your organization forward? Is our 656 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,040 Speaker 1: is our fun little tagline, But it's about building organizational 657 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 1: health um an organizational wellness. And you do that in 658 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,799 Speaker 1: a couple of ways, right is that one is that 659 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 1: you support from the bottom up inside of organizations. Is 660 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 1: that you provide a space for people to think out 661 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,800 Speaker 1: loud to answer the question that I that our referenced 662 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: earlier is what do you want? Because guess what, we 663 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 1: don't ask ourselves that a lot, because what we do 664 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 1: is we get up and we do the checklist thing. 665 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,280 Speaker 1: We take care of the to do list. That's that's 666 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,319 Speaker 1: on on our plate. Right, I get up, awake my 667 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: girls up, I get them ready to go to school 668 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: to daycare. My wife and I get in our cars. 669 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,160 Speaker 1: We go work for you know, eight ten, twelve hours 670 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,000 Speaker 1: a day. We come home, we try to be functional 671 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:12,359 Speaker 1: humans and parents and spouses to one another. We get 672 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: the kids asleep, hopefully they're fed and not like you know, 673 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 1: whatever helps a mess, and then we do it again. 674 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 1: And so we wanted to be able to make a 675 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 1: space inside of workplaces for people to develop some good habits, 676 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 1: to develop self awareness, to develop some self accountability and responsibility. 677 00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 1: And so part of what we do is it's helping 678 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,839 Speaker 1: people just explore that mental health side of things. We're 679 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:43,480 Speaker 1: not therapists, but we're therapeutic from that side. And then also, 680 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 1: you can't influence a workplace or an organization or a 681 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,200 Speaker 1: company without working on the leaders right and training the 682 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,880 Speaker 1: leaders how to influence their people, how to be selfless, 683 00:36:55,960 --> 00:37:00,680 Speaker 1: to be servants, to be sacrificial, to earn stature amongst 684 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,160 Speaker 1: their organization. And so really what we do is we 685 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:08,319 Speaker 1: partner with organizations to to get better at taking care 686 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 1: of their people. That's a pretty cool thing, I think, 687 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:15,400 Speaker 1: you know, I look back and there was almost this regret, Catherine, 688 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:20,520 Speaker 1: when I left the HDC program and I started pursuing life, 689 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,919 Speaker 1: is that I just spent all this money and I'm 690 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,879 Speaker 1: not going to be a therapist, and like my life 691 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,120 Speaker 1: and I have conversations about this. She was like, hey, dude, 692 00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,560 Speaker 1: like we just dropped some serious cash on this, Like 693 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 1: are you not going to take advantage of it? And 694 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,879 Speaker 1: I looked up the other day and we were talking 695 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,280 Speaker 1: about this and like, I've taken advantage of every single 696 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:45,439 Speaker 1: cent and more of what that program offered because I've 697 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: gotten the opportunity to build something that is, frankly, it's 698 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:53,799 Speaker 1: unique in today's world, and that we get the opportunity 699 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,719 Speaker 1: to sit down with, you know, big organizations and to 700 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,040 Speaker 1: get them to think about what it is like to 701 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,120 Speaker 1: invest in their people, not just as employees, but as people. 702 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:08,439 Speaker 1: I like that you took this degree and you're doing 703 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,560 Speaker 1: something like this, because yeah, you're not sitting around with 704 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,799 Speaker 1: people processing their trauma. I don't think you're doing that, 705 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 1: although you could, but that's also not all we need 706 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 1: to focus on. Like, I just think about the people 707 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,280 Speaker 1: that I've never worked in a corporate world. I've never 708 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 1: I mean I went from my job at a treatment 709 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: center and then straight into working for myself, so I've 710 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: never had to experience an abundance or longevity of poor leadership. 711 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: But I see over and over and over again these 712 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,680 Speaker 1: people who are like struggling, yet they're like also like 713 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,879 Speaker 1: so wonderful and get at their jobs. And a lot 714 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,799 Speaker 1: of it is because the majority of their time is 715 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,879 Speaker 1: spent at work and they don't feel supported at work, 716 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,280 Speaker 1: but they also have to complete a task. And then 717 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 1: over and over I see these people leading these companies 718 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:02,239 Speaker 1: that I'm like, oh my god, it's starting there, like 719 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 1: it really is starting there. And and if we could 720 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,759 Speaker 1: we could improve the health and the well being in 721 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: the understanding and help leaders understand humans, then I think 722 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 1: we would just have it overall better, like culture of 723 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 1: health in the world, absolutely, because you hit on the 724 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: almost the main point of this, right is that work 725 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,640 Speaker 1: is where we spend the majority of our waking embers, 726 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,360 Speaker 1: and we can feel like, you know, beholden to that 727 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 1: or slaves to that, or whatever the right terminology may be. 728 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,960 Speaker 1: But leaders don't know how to invest in their people. 729 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: They don't know how to earn stature to have influence. Right. 730 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: That's that's the difference between being a boss um and 731 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,680 Speaker 1: a managernal leader, is that you can exert some sort 732 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 1: of influence and guess what. Influence doesn't start until you 733 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 1: know yourself really well, until you're authentic, until you're you're passionate, 734 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: because you know what two things people don't follow is 735 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,759 Speaker 1: in authenticity or somebody that doesn't have any passion. And 736 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,920 Speaker 1: so leaders are not trained, right. They are promoted because 737 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,720 Speaker 1: they did one thing well and then they come into 738 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:10,200 Speaker 1: that role as a leader telling everybody else do it 739 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,680 Speaker 1: the way that I did it, Do it the way 740 00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:13,840 Speaker 1: that I did it. And they don't know how to 741 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 1: connect or invest in the people that are below them 742 00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:21,160 Speaker 1: and the corporate hierarchy really, but how they should look 743 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 1: at is the people that support them. And and so 744 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 1: what what's cool about what we do, right, is that 745 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,360 Speaker 1: there's so many people that have ventured into the world 746 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,640 Speaker 1: of how to train leaders, right. I mean, you've got 747 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,439 Speaker 1: awesome people like Simon Sack and John Maxwell and all 748 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,920 Speaker 1: of these organizations, and they do they do great things, 749 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,880 Speaker 1: they do awesome brings. But is just do this and 750 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,200 Speaker 1: it'll work. Right. Here's the box that you fit in 751 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,839 Speaker 1: the program that you sign up for. And it's not 752 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,000 Speaker 1: a one size fits all because all an organization is 753 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,759 Speaker 1: is a you know, a compositive a bunch of individuals 754 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,279 Speaker 1: who are different, and so what we want to do 755 00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: is help people, you know, partner with them to what 756 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: fits for their specific organization, the people that are the 757 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,520 Speaker 1: individuals that are inside of that. It's a really interesting 758 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:11,000 Speaker 1: concept and it's slowly being proven to me that it works. 759 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,560 Speaker 1: I'm just like sitting here and like how cool. And 760 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,759 Speaker 1: I don't know what the structure of what you're what 761 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,080 Speaker 1: you guys do completely is, but like how cool. Just 762 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,359 Speaker 1: like to know that the company that I'm working for 763 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:28,359 Speaker 1: cares about me enough to bring on this team has 764 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,319 Speaker 1: nothing to do with like, like I'm even I don't 765 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,920 Speaker 1: know if you take well I know you do because 766 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,400 Speaker 1: that one time that I came and spoke at that company, 767 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,759 Speaker 1: they took working hours to come in and listen. I 768 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 1: think I was there for like an hour and a 769 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: half two hours to come listen and talk about like 770 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,480 Speaker 1: body image and being a woman. Like my company is 771 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 1: letting me take working hours that could be productive hours, 772 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,359 Speaker 1: but they're saying this also is productive for you. Like 773 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,920 Speaker 1: I just can't imagine that even just knowing that my 774 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:01,360 Speaker 1: company is doing that, regardless of what actions are taken 775 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,840 Speaker 1: in how would I experience the knowledge that my my 776 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 1: my leaders care about me, I think can make shifts 777 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,719 Speaker 1: on that absolutely, but just by just by embracing that 778 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,640 Speaker 1: personal well being planned that we have as a part 779 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,719 Speaker 1: of dream for right when a company signs up for 780 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 1: that immediately, what that says is we care about our 781 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:25,400 Speaker 1: people as people, not about our people as employees or 782 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:29,640 Speaker 1: producers or whatever job in particular it is. And so 783 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,800 Speaker 1: there's all the sudden, just in that moment, a shift, um, 784 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:38,560 Speaker 1: they really care about me. And guess what the nine 785 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,480 Speaker 1: percent of people that go into a corporate or even 786 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,920 Speaker 1: just any job, but probably a corporate environment believe, I 787 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,200 Speaker 1: truly believe, is that this organization doesn't care about No. 788 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,919 Speaker 1: I heard that yesterday from somebody is like, nobody cares. 789 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm just a number, like just a producer on just 790 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:57,239 Speaker 1: a number on another cog in this wheel. And you know, 791 00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:00,520 Speaker 1: like I said, our program or our company really has 792 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,719 Speaker 1: has a couple of different ways of doing this, right, 793 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,080 Speaker 1: it's that personal well being where I do sit down 794 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:08,239 Speaker 1: one on one with people. Again, it's not therapy like 795 00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,839 Speaker 1: if they if they present with depression, anxiety, other other 796 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,520 Speaker 1: things that are more significant. Is that our role was 797 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:19,120 Speaker 1: to become a resource and connect them to the right 798 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,719 Speaker 1: right people in places and things that can help them 799 00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 1: in that journey. But I sit down with people, we 800 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:28,680 Speaker 1: process life, and and really what we try to do 801 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 1: is help people get good about answering the question what 802 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,840 Speaker 1: I want and setting little goals and then holding them accountable, 803 00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:39,319 Speaker 1: walking alongside them to get after that goal and just 804 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,520 Speaker 1: start to develop some personal momentum. And then when they 805 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,080 Speaker 1: do that right, it bleeds over into work, and it 806 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,640 Speaker 1: bleeds over into their their per personal life, for their 807 00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 1: leadership life. Man, it starts to make it different. I 808 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,399 Speaker 1: like that you started with that question when I asked 809 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,560 Speaker 1: you earlier, like what do I want? What forty minutes ago, 810 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,960 Speaker 1: because I am thinking about the fact that, like, if 811 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,360 Speaker 1: we're not asking that question, then we literally are, you 812 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: know how we were talking about like almost asleep during 813 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 1: that time in my life. I think that in my 814 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 1: early twenties into my even my mid twenties, I was 815 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,279 Speaker 1: asleep to my I missed out on so much because 816 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't asking myself what do I want? I think 817 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,480 Speaker 1: I was going after and doing what I think was 818 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,600 Speaker 1: expected or what would make others think X y Z 819 00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 1: about me. But I don't think I ever sat down 820 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 1: and said, like, what is it that is important just 821 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:35,120 Speaker 1: to me? We usually, right at some point in our upbringing, 822 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:39,359 Speaker 1: in our adolescents into you know, our early twenties, we're 823 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:44,040 Speaker 1: usually chasing somebody else's goals for us, somebody else's dreams 824 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,120 Speaker 1: for us. Right, is that if I can just go 825 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,919 Speaker 1: do this, I'll impress mom and Dad. If I can 826 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,800 Speaker 1: just do this, I will look good to the outside world. 827 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,239 Speaker 1: And you know that it became the spad like you know, 828 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,360 Speaker 1: to go find yourself or to go explore and to 829 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,160 Speaker 1: take a gap your travel. You don't have to do 830 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,360 Speaker 1: that to it to find out who you are, you 831 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,080 Speaker 1: have to be real enough to wake up a little 832 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,320 Speaker 1: bit and go, what do I really want? What is 833 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,399 Speaker 1: an alignment with who I am, what my strengths are, 834 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,600 Speaker 1: what I'm naturally good at? And then how the hell 835 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,239 Speaker 1: do I go about pursuing it? The only way that 836 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,759 Speaker 1: you pursue it is with intention. Is that you acknowledge 837 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,680 Speaker 1: what you're good at, what you like, what you enjoy, 838 00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,279 Speaker 1: and then you set a plan and you work that 839 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,120 Speaker 1: plane every single day consistently to show up and go 840 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,160 Speaker 1: after it. That's hard, Oh my gosh, Like I said, 841 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,880 Speaker 1: it took thirty some five years for me to find that. 842 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 1: And you know, if you were to, if you were 843 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,560 Speaker 1: to sit down and interview Ivy, she would be like, 844 00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,840 Speaker 1: I can tell you when it happened, you know, some 845 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,400 Speaker 1: all a difference in my husband when that that change happened. 846 00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,279 Speaker 1: And of anything that I have done, that's the thing 847 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 1: that I'm most proud of for me, right, all of 848 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,799 Speaker 1: the other stuff is a byproduct of that self exploration, 849 00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:01,160 Speaker 1: asking myself the questions of what I want, what's important 850 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,399 Speaker 1: to me, and then how do I pursue that. That's 851 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,600 Speaker 1: an alignment with who I want to be. Um, and 852 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:10,160 Speaker 1: it changes everybody. It changes you know, you get married, 853 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:14,400 Speaker 1: or you change jobs, or you have kids or whatever happens, 854 00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 1: what you want changes. So this process is iterative, right, 855 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,200 Speaker 1: It goes over and over and over again. And so 856 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,879 Speaker 1: the name dream for isn't chase your dreams. Um, It's 857 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 1: not as as fluffy or as cute as that like it. 858 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:34,480 Speaker 1: It literally stands for desire. Right, what do you want? Resources? 859 00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,920 Speaker 1: What do you need to achieve what you want? The 860 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,400 Speaker 1: ease effort? What are you gonna do to make this happen? 861 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:44,800 Speaker 1: Where's your sweat equity? And you know what's most important 862 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,240 Speaker 1: right is the A, the attitude, what exists in between 863 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,200 Speaker 1: your ears that can either help you achieve that or 864 00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,799 Speaker 1: will hinder you from doing that. And when you put 865 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,279 Speaker 1: all of those things together, right, we developed some some 866 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,480 Speaker 1: essence of momentum in our world. And that process is iterative. 867 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,479 Speaker 1: It goes over and over and over again. I didn't 868 00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,840 Speaker 1: know that about what it stood for. I like that 869 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,840 Speaker 1: because also as you're saying, like the attitude and the 870 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,520 Speaker 1: what was the was our resources? Right? That we think 871 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,640 Speaker 1: about what we want and then I think about our 872 00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:18,320 Speaker 1: our graduate program. That the mountain looks so high and unclimbable, 873 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,520 Speaker 1: but really if you break it down into what do 874 00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:23,239 Speaker 1: I actually need to do? This simple? Yeah, And I 875 00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,760 Speaker 1: think when we look at the big mountain, if we haven't, 876 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,239 Speaker 1: I haven't. I know I do have a poor attitude, 877 00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 1: whether it's just like not like angry attitude, but just 878 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,000 Speaker 1: like defeated if I don't look at the resources and 879 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,439 Speaker 1: and sit and have the conversations. So I just think 880 00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,400 Speaker 1: what you do is very cool. And I feel like 881 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,640 Speaker 1: I've told you that before, but I think it's very cool. 882 00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:46,879 Speaker 1: And I think you guys are what I understand expanding 883 00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:50,239 Speaker 1: or did I make that up. Yeah, we're growing, which 884 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,759 Speaker 1: is which is awesome. You know, when I joined four 885 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,400 Speaker 1: or four and a half years ago, I mean it 886 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,720 Speaker 1: was very much we had grown out of a company 887 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,080 Speaker 1: that was very forward thing thinking about how to invest 888 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,960 Speaker 1: in new people, and so the idea of Dream four 889 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:08,160 Speaker 1: kind of got born out of a corporate company UM, 890 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:10,520 Speaker 1: and then about four and a half years ago was hey, 891 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,879 Speaker 1: let's go see if we can make this its own thing. 892 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,279 Speaker 1: And so we were very much a startup company and 893 00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,759 Speaker 1: we just like an individual, did a lot of self 894 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,879 Speaker 1: exploration of who we are, what we do, how we're 895 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,000 Speaker 1: gonna do it. And you know, this process over the 896 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:25,960 Speaker 1: last four and a a half years is we feel pretty 897 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,840 Speaker 1: solid about who we are, what we do, how we 898 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:31,080 Speaker 1: do it, how we can market at, how people can 899 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,600 Speaker 1: buy it UM And so we're growing. People listening if 900 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,440 Speaker 1: they are like, oh, that sounds like something that like 901 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,640 Speaker 1: I would want to tell a friend about or maybe 902 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,560 Speaker 1: my company or maybe somebody's listening they're like I'm a 903 00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,239 Speaker 1: leader and I want this. Where can they contact or 904 00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,160 Speaker 1: find you to find out more information? Yeah? Absolutely, So 905 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:51,600 Speaker 1: the website, which is about to go under what it's 906 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:55,359 Speaker 1: currently uh going under a massive overhaul of about who 907 00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,560 Speaker 1: we are and what we do. But it's dream the 908 00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:02,480 Speaker 1: number four and then impact dot com. And to be honest, 909 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:05,720 Speaker 1: probably the best way is, you know, we'll we'll share 910 00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 1: my contact information to in show notes or wherever else 911 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,200 Speaker 1: you do. Is to reach out to me and our 912 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:16,359 Speaker 1: team to explore how this could fit as an individual, right, 913 00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:20,640 Speaker 1: I mean executive coaching or as you know, hey, I've 914 00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:22,759 Speaker 1: loved this for my company, or I'm a leader, or 915 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,000 Speaker 1: my team could use some real leadership development work. However, 916 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,279 Speaker 1: it is reach out and let's find a way to 917 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,560 Speaker 1: be kind of a collaborative, customizable partner. It's it's out there. 918 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,800 Speaker 1: I've meant to ask this earlier and we're kind of 919 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,279 Speaker 1: at a time, But I just am curious from your perspective, 920 00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:42,680 Speaker 1: have you worked with companies that have gone to partially 921 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,960 Speaker 1: or just like all work from home. How have you 922 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,080 Speaker 1: seen that impact just humans in general? And I'm just 923 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,279 Speaker 1: curious your perspective because a lot of companies aren't going 924 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,160 Speaker 1: back and a lot of people I know are never 925 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,879 Speaker 1: going back to the office, and that's definitely impacted their 926 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,000 Speaker 1: emotional and mental health percent And you know, so of 927 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,879 Speaker 1: all the partners that we serve and that we're with 928 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,239 Speaker 1: I mean all of them, as all of all of 929 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,720 Speaker 1: us have, right is the last two to and app years, 930 00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:12,799 Speaker 1: it's just been crazy, crazy time, and so a lot 931 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:14,680 Speaker 1: of the companies that we have have adopted, you know, 932 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,000 Speaker 1: a hybrid two days in the office, a couple of 933 00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:21,120 Speaker 1: days out, but so much one just what's happening in 934 00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,960 Speaker 1: the world right now. There is a whole lot more mental, 935 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,720 Speaker 1: uh and emotional stress. Whether we know that we're carrying, 936 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:32,719 Speaker 1: we are, but it has affected how organizations work, and 937 00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,799 Speaker 1: not just from the logistics standpoints of how many people 938 00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,160 Speaker 1: are in the office, but what does that do to 939 00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:42,160 Speaker 1: an organization's health their culture? Yeah? How do you have 940 00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:45,480 Speaker 1: culture when you're all work right? And it's it's hard 941 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,040 Speaker 1: and I don't think people know how to approach that. 942 00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,000 Speaker 1: And so that's a lot of what we've developed. Right. 943 00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,880 Speaker 1: We actually even have a have a workshop that we 944 00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:58,600 Speaker 1: do that's it's called remote worker Wellness. And how do 945 00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,640 Speaker 1: you connect your people that aren't physically in your space? 946 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:05,160 Speaker 1: How do you check in on people? How do you 947 00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,080 Speaker 1: love people that aren't there? How do you make them 948 00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:10,279 Speaker 1: feel a part of something bigger? Right? How do you 949 00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,719 Speaker 1: make them feel a part of the organization, and so 950 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:18,399 Speaker 1: it's it's absolutely impacted the well being of individuals um 951 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:23,200 Speaker 1: and it's absolutely impacted the well being of organizations. Uh. 952 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,799 Speaker 1: So many people talk about the idea of culture, right, 953 00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 1: and I think at least inside of inside of workplaces, 954 00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,319 Speaker 1: and people look at it to dichotomous. Right. It's it's 955 00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,640 Speaker 1: either you've got a toxic culture, you've got a great culture. 956 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,319 Speaker 1: There's so much more to that, right, And that's why 957 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,400 Speaker 1: we use the term organizational health, is that there are 958 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,239 Speaker 1: some places, just like in air individual lives, that we 959 00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,480 Speaker 1: can be really really healthy, right, and there's some places that, man, 960 00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:50,240 Speaker 1: we may be needing some work on. And so that's 961 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:53,160 Speaker 1: where I think dream kind of partners with the organizations 962 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,120 Speaker 1: to say where do we need to work? Where do 963 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,879 Speaker 1: you work in a lot of that in the last 964 00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,799 Speaker 1: two years has been exploring how do you take care 965 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,640 Speaker 1: of your people when we're scattered, How do they feel 966 00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:07,040 Speaker 1: like they matter, that they're bound, that they're important as 967 00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:11,080 Speaker 1: people when they're at home that their kids, you know, 968 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,800 Speaker 1: can't go to daycare because somebody they have an exposure 969 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,799 Speaker 1: to COVID and they're at home trying to work and 970 00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:19,920 Speaker 1: take care of their kids listen firsthand experience here. It's 971 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,400 Speaker 1: really hard. But how do you do that? And how 972 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,360 Speaker 1: do you how do you love on your people that way? 973 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,680 Speaker 1: And so it's been a huge thing. And one of 974 00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:31,279 Speaker 1: the ways that we we connect with people is so 975 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:34,000 Speaker 1: much of what I do is is virtual now, you know, 976 00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,160 Speaker 1: quick conversations, whether it's it's through the app that we 977 00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:42,359 Speaker 1: use UM, whether it's through just FaceTime, text message, whatever is. 978 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:46,160 Speaker 1: We're getting used to connecting remotely with people. I don't 979 00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:50,040 Speaker 1: know that leaders are embracing that the same way UM 980 00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,880 Speaker 1: inside of organizations, and so they need training on it, 981 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:56,200 Speaker 1: they need help with it. So with anything, that's something 982 00:52:56,239 --> 00:53:00,160 Speaker 1: that most organizations do need help with because that is 983 00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,799 Speaker 1: a new thing. So that is something that you guys 984 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:06,399 Speaker 1: can offer outside of all of the other stuff. Is like, hey, 985 00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:07,960 Speaker 1: this is weird and this is a new and nobody 986 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,600 Speaker 1: knows how to do it, and it's important to pay 987 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,040 Speaker 1: attention to it. Yeah, I think you know, one of 988 00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,040 Speaker 1: the questions that you talked about is how the companies 989 00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:17,680 Speaker 1: and leaders work towards kind of a more supportive, healthy 990 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,600 Speaker 1: environment when it comes to emotional mental health. The first 991 00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:26,000 Speaker 1: thing is is awareness. Just know that it's real and 992 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,480 Speaker 1: that people are walking through their stuff just because you 993 00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,719 Speaker 1: you're aware of it, and that you're leaning into it 994 00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,080 Speaker 1: as a leader or as a as a CEO or 995 00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,560 Speaker 1: as a boss. When you lean into that, it doesn't 996 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,279 Speaker 1: take away the responsibility of that person has to do 997 00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:43,640 Speaker 1: their job, but you can lean in to be empathetic 998 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:48,560 Speaker 1: and compassionate that we're all carrying a whole lot right 999 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,600 Speaker 1: now and that, like just in general life, it's hard, 1000 00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:55,760 Speaker 1: and so being aware that are the world human beings 1001 00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:59,080 Speaker 1: are dealing with a lot right now is is step on. Yeah, 1002 00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,839 Speaker 1: which is kind of full circle with what we started with. 1003 00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:04,359 Speaker 1: Is like going back to school and learning that like 1004 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,560 Speaker 1: this just helps us be aware of what's going on 1005 00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,000 Speaker 1: in the world. So it helps us understand people and 1006 00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:13,120 Speaker 1: be more caring and forgiving and loving, which in turn 1007 00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,399 Speaker 1: just makes a better world in general. So of course 1008 00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,080 Speaker 1: it's going to make a better work environment. So I 1009 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:22,160 Speaker 1: of course think what you do is so important. So 1010 00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,680 Speaker 1: if you guys are listening, look at the show notes. 1011 00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,200 Speaker 1: I'll have the link to the website and then if 1012 00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,560 Speaker 1: you don't mind, I'll put your contact into in there, yeah, 1013 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,640 Speaker 1: and they can talk to you and see if it's 1014 00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:36,640 Speaker 1: something that they might benefit from which you probably would 1015 00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:40,000 Speaker 1: and could well. Thank you for doing this, and uh 1016 00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,760 Speaker 1: I will continue to ignore your phone calls and answer 1017 00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:48,799 Speaker 1: your texts. It's three dastes like you know under the 1018 00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:51,760 Speaker 1: value of a relationship. We both just become self aware 1019 00:54:52,040 --> 00:55:01,799 Speaker 1: of where we could alright, alright, bye six THO.