Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: so something's missing on the couch and it is our Catherine.
Speaker 1: She is live. When we do this on wind Down,
Speaker 1: when we take the podcast on the road, we call
Speaker 1: this segment Cat in the Field. So Cat, you're live
Speaker 1: in the field, but you're only a few miles down
Speaker 1: the road. Tell us Kat because she is too afraid
Speaker 1: of the water that's on the roads.
Speaker 2: I see that now.
Speaker 3: Apparently there was one hour ago, but there is not anymore.
Speaker 3: Having said that, like, I'm from Nashville, guys, y'all are
Speaker 3: from Michigan. I don't like driving snow.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but I do.
Speaker 3: Nick literally just walked outside and he was like it's
Speaker 3: all on.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh good.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It was kind of no pun intended the perfect
Speaker 1: storm because so Roman has COVID, but he's has really
Speaker 1: bad he said, some really bad breathing the last few
Speaker 1: nights and it's kind of turning into that creepy, creepy cough,
Speaker 1: the breathing strider, all that stuff. So this morning, of course,
Speaker 1: you know Alan's in London. You know there's this snowstorm,
Speaker 1: and with Nashville, it's like one to three inches. But
Speaker 1: with one inch we really got I don't know, I'd say,
Speaker 1: like what inch and a half? Maybe I could see
Speaker 1: the grass still through the snow, So i don't know
Speaker 1: if it counts right. Well, school's off, but I'm like this,
Speaker 1: this breathing is is not is not great. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just I've been down this road with the kids before.
Speaker 1: I'm like, he needs a steroid and so, you know,
Speaker 1: lo and behold them. I'm like I'm thinking, I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, I can't get into I'd rather take Alan's
Speaker 1: truck because that's got the four wheel and it's got
Speaker 1: the you know, all that stuff, the off terrain drive truck.
Speaker 1: So but I mean, it's covered in snow and I've
Speaker 1: just got you know, him, poor thing, just like struggling
Speaker 1: to breathe and putting you know, change in the car
Speaker 1: seat and putting it in there. And at first, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is a good idea at all,
Speaker 1: because you know how that the subs don't look great.
Speaker 1: But then all of a sudden we got back on
Speaker 1: the roads. I'm like, oh, I'm from Michigan, Like I forget.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I forget you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: I got this, like I know how to do this.
Speaker 1: And then when I got into the roads, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's totally fine. That's when I called you. I was like, girl, hey,
Speaker 1: you're a Michigan ass. Doesn't get over here. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: now I was like, okay, girl, I feel good about it.
Speaker 1: I'm just making sure all is ago and they pre
Speaker 1: salted for us. And so then when I got out there,
Speaker 1: I was like, well, this is like I do think
Speaker 1: it is precious. If you didn't grow up in this weather,
Speaker 1: it's probably really overwhelming. But for us, I mean, I
Speaker 1: have a January third birthday right in Michigan. December second. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like we're never going anywhere. But it's funny because Catherine,
Speaker 1: So it's what roles can be so reversed on this
Speaker 1: couch because when it's a thunderstorm, I mean tornado vibe.
Speaker 1: Even if a little bit of thunder KB is like
Speaker 1: everyone locked out. Like she's the girl on the plane
Speaker 1: on Bridesmaids.
Speaker 2: She's like, it's going down.
Speaker 1: That's actually you get you on a plane. But that's
Speaker 1: one thousand percent me on a plane. And now even worse, okay,
Speaker 1: because of everything but you is just like it's because
Speaker 1: you're just like lockdown Creamer, and I'm like Christen, it's
Speaker 1: like five hours away, Like we're good. We ca'll put
Speaker 1: a helmet on you and I will put you in
Speaker 1: a safe room so fast. I have a bottle of distill.
Speaker 1: And you're not really bad at that, right, No tornado
Speaker 1: husband is like a tornado watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I think for me though, the issue with this snow
Speaker 3: is when I hear ice. Yeah, for sure, we have
Speaker 3: a lot of ice storms here versus snow, and that's
Speaker 3: where it's like you can't if you've got four wall drive,
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter. And also to note, some roads aka
Speaker 3: Brentwood and Franklin get pre salted and get plowed before
Speaker 3: said smaller towns do, so that's also part of the Yeah.
Speaker 1: The issue, well, we're happy to have you on Zoom
Speaker 1: via satellite from your remote location, and the.
Speaker 3: Really hiding out in my bedroom because all the kids
Speaker 3: are running around and but I'm glad I'm here, guys. Yay.
Speaker 1: I have to say I got to start with post chat,
Speaker 1: but I would like to kick it off stuff. I
Speaker 1: have to say, I after we posted the video, I
Speaker 1: got sick to my stomach because I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm afraid to look at the comments because you know,
Speaker 1: it's a very polarizing topic, some of the things that
Speaker 1: we were talking about, i e. The vaccination stuff. But
Speaker 1: is that, I e. Is that how you would use it?
Speaker 1: I don't even know. We are really giant, so but
Speaker 1: I was a few things that I just to recap
Speaker 1: that episode a little bit that I found comforting and
Speaker 1: what actually helped me this morning too, in the midst
Speaker 1: of this perfect storm and him not being able to
Speaker 1: breathe and literally the last two nights being on a
Speaker 1: total of like two hours of sleep because I stare
Speaker 1: at the monitor just being like, Kenny breathe. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: you're going to him like and seeing is that in
Speaker 1: that moment, I probably would have gone to like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so alone because Alan's in London and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with sick you know, sick kids and whatever.
Speaker 1: But knowing all the messages that I got about and
Speaker 1: even you guys too, I mean, I'm sure you guys
Speaker 1: got us some as well, but like just being like,
Speaker 1: you're not We're not alone in any of this, and
Speaker 1: the things that we and all the stuff that's on
Speaker 1: our plate. It was just so refreshing. And then in
Speaker 1: moments like today, I'm like, all right, like I don't
Speaker 1: I don't feel alone in this moment. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: like I got this. I'm like rockstar, mom, let's go,
Speaker 1: let's do this. Let's get there to the appointment and
Speaker 1: you know, make sure he's okay. And so I just
Speaker 1: there was a nice sense of like, yeah, we take
Speaker 1: on a lot of stuff, but we're not alone, and
Speaker 1: we're all in this together. And I think hearing from
Speaker 1: everybody this week felt really nice to know, even though
Speaker 1: I know we're all like with each other, but there's
Speaker 1: a whole slew of moms out there that feel this
Speaker 1: exact same way. I remember when you were talking last week,
Speaker 1: thinking this is going to land in the hearts of
Speaker 1: so many people, because I talked to friends at home
Speaker 1: in Michigan and you know, girlfriends of mine in California,
Speaker 1: and like, literally everyone feels these things down to the vaccination,
Speaker 1: like all of it. I mean, it's there's no real
Speaker 1: safe place we feel. We've created this incredible society where
Speaker 1: we overshare and sometimes it works to our detriment, but
Speaker 1: I feel like it can. It's just been so great
Speaker 1: recently for to like kind of ground itself back to
Speaker 1: like letting us feel like there's actually a community we're
Speaker 1: all going through it. And it's interesting, is like, this
Speaker 1: is the stuff that I normally wouldn't share because exactly
Speaker 1: as a mom, like you just hold it all in.
Speaker 1: So they do where I felt scared to when I
Speaker 1: to share it. So I was like, oh, wait, no,
Speaker 1: this is stuff that we can talk about. We can
Speaker 1: share this. I can say I feel alone even in
Speaker 1: a marriage, even though I'm not saying I feel alone
Speaker 1: a within my marriage, you know, it's just the feeling
Speaker 1: of it. So and I got a you know, a
Speaker 1: listener DM she was like, you know, I can relate
Speaker 1: to the lonely feeling as a divorce and remarried mom,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like there's I think that was
Speaker 1: really nice. And also I've gotten some great feedback. I'm
Speaker 1: following just the inserts on now Doctor Green Moom vaccine
Speaker 1: friendly plan. So there's just a lot of people too
Speaker 1: that have reached out with really good resources on both sides,
Speaker 1: and ninety nine point nine percent of them were really
Speaker 1: positive and very graceful. There was only like a one
Speaker 1: percent word that were like, you're so terrible for sharing misinformation.
Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, I'm trying to get information. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think you said it was miss but I think it
Speaker 1: was just feel for information. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I was reminded with this that, like people
Speaker 3: can still have an open dialogue about things, like even
Speaker 3: people that disagree.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: It was kind of refreshing. I'm like, wow, and I
Speaker 3: texted you all last night. I was like, I'm loving
Speaker 3: these responses on both sides, you know. And I think
Speaker 3: I was reminded too that a lot of people don't
Speaker 3: know what they want, don't know what they want to do,
Speaker 3: just like I feel like we all kind of feel
Speaker 3: like that, you know, we're kind of stuck in this
Speaker 3: place of do we do it? Do we not? I
Speaker 3: feel this way. I don't feel this way, you know.
Speaker 3: And I just think it was refreshing to see that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I had a text last night at twelve
Speaker 3: thirty from a friend I haven't heard from from in years,
Speaker 3: and she was like, tell Jana that I said, blah
Speaker 3: blah blah blahlah, here's my story, you know, and it's
Speaker 3: just it's good to hear people's stories you know, on
Speaker 3: why they do vaccinate and why they may not or
Speaker 3: why they're scared. You know, it was refreshing. I was
Speaker 3: really happy to see the positive feedback from that, for sure.
Speaker 1: I love that. I also think it's most like when
Speaker 1: we do the live show, we openly share so much.
Speaker 1: I think that's why we've enjoyed this format so much,
Speaker 1: and what we get from the road when we're out
Speaker 1: with people is that same feeling. And I think it's
Speaker 1: just been really like, I will be really honest with
Speaker 1: both of you. I was terrified to go to this format,
Speaker 1: not because I don't love you desperately, but in our
Speaker 1: little triangle of friendship, we are so unafraid to give
Speaker 1: each other honest feedback or to like, you know, speak
Speaker 1: life or to truth or whatever. But I got nervous
Speaker 1: to open it up because I feel the anxiousness of
Speaker 1: like the world's just ready to attack and for And
Speaker 1: it's been really like I even said to you last night, Cat,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not reading the comments, like I
Speaker 1: don't want to see it because it really does hurt
Speaker 1: my feelings. People will hurt my feelings pretty easily, so
Speaker 1: I guard myself. But it's been so incredible. It feels
Speaker 1: so I don't know, it just feel so genuine, and
Speaker 1: I think that's why we all get along. And I
Speaker 1: feel like we get to plug into our community better
Speaker 1: when we say the hard stuff because we're being honest.
Speaker 3: I felt the opposite. I was really really excited to
Speaker 3: do this and do it this way and get to
Speaker 3: talk about this stuff. Like comments hurt my feelings also,
Speaker 3: but I just feel so much.
Speaker 2: More true to myself.
Speaker 3: And fulfilled when we're able to get on here and
Speaker 3: we're able to just talk and just like, you know,
Speaker 3: just we don't know, we don't know what we're doing
Speaker 3: half the time as moms, and we can just talk
Speaker 3: and everybody can you know, give us feedback. I just
Speaker 3: I love this format. I think it's been great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean so much so that I I'm calling
Speaker 1: Katherine'm like, I know you're not a nurse, but okay,
Speaker 1: so because he was having one hundred and five fevers,
Speaker 1: I'm like calling her, I'm all right, so how many
Speaker 1: hours in between can I because it's like you can
Speaker 1: google it, but you know, it's like to go to
Speaker 1: the people and we're glad that you guys are our
Speaker 1: people listening. So it's right. We love you. We might
Speaker 1: not have all the answers clearly or know the things,
Speaker 1: but it is what. Thanks for listening, Thanks for being here,
Speaker 1: Thanks for being here, Thanks for being a homie. Let's
Speaker 1: unpin something. Oh, because it's been pinned a while. Catherine
Speaker 1: and I have kind of sabotaged the host chat topic
Speaker 1: the last few episodes, and you're just bursting out of
Speaker 1: the shirt to tell us about your boobs. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: barely bursting, So you guys, are you I might get
Speaker 1: emotional talking about this, Well, it'd be three weeks in
Speaker 1: a row of cry. Let's go for it, okay. So
Speaker 1: I can feel the tears coming, Okay, bring it, let
Speaker 1: it way. I feel so ridiculous, said it feel ridiculous. Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to get it together. So did you tell
Speaker 1: me to get it together last week when I was crying? No,
Speaker 1: you said I wanted to get on my lap. I did, okay, So,
Speaker 1: and ironically, my boobs are on my lap, so that
Speaker 1: would be a good segue. So I was a late bloomer.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take you back to a cold day
Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety six, the back brace. Yeah, you guys,
Speaker 1: like I want to, I do want a little framework care.
Speaker 1: I did have a back brace in seventh grade Eden Inhaler,
Speaker 1: life was not charming in middle school. I was a
Speaker 1: late bloomer. I think because of the surgery. It was
Speaker 1: a pretty massive surgery. It was a nine hour surgery.
Speaker 1: They corrected my scoliosis. They put rods in my back.
Speaker 1: Because of that, I think I menstruted later in life.
Speaker 1: We are over sharing today unapologetically. When did what age
Speaker 1: did you menstroy? Sixteen and a half? Okay, okay, So
Speaker 1: I remember that because I remember thinking I don't actually
Speaker 1: I'll say it. I remember being nervous that I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I had a serious boyfriend, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't even think I can have sex all have a period.
Speaker 1: Like I was so confused and scared, you know, which
Speaker 1: is probably why no one should do that. Stay abstinate.
Speaker 1: So I say all that because I didn't. Nothing really
Speaker 1: came in for me until I was like nineteen. My
Speaker 1: boobs didn't come in until I was nineteen, and they
Speaker 1: came in like a dream. They were stunning. We have
Speaker 1: lived such I mean, there's nobody more grateful for a
Speaker 1: natural boob on this planet than me. They were like
Speaker 1: solid C D cup held their own I mean we
Speaker 1: were in backless shirts. We have lived strapless life together.
Speaker 1: And then there was a baby, and then there was
Speaker 1: another baby, and then the third baby at forty one
Speaker 1: has really done a number on the girls. And so
Speaker 1: when they are collected like they are today in the
Speaker 1: right bra, they still hold their own abby use my code.
Speaker 1: They're great bras. I actually wanted to know for real
Speaker 1: if they were a fantastic Okay, but swimsuits have been hard.
Speaker 1: You guys know, I love to style and I love
Speaker 1: to create wardrobe, and I feel like I'm styling and
Speaker 1: picking things around them now because I can't wear certain
Speaker 1: kinds of tops. Finding a strappo sprawl has been a struggle.
Speaker 1: And then can I ask where the tears? Like where Okay,
Speaker 1: they're coming? So I have I have a hard time
Speaker 1: electing for surgery. I think because of the surgeries that
Speaker 1: I've had to have, Like one was a DNC the back,
Speaker 1: you know, the spinal surgery, Like it just doesn't feel
Speaker 1: great for me to choose to do surgery. But I
Speaker 1: have really felt like I've stood in the mirror and
Speaker 1: done what probably a lot of us do, which is
Speaker 1: like pick them up and put them back in their place.
Speaker 1: I don't have much of a torso, so they're now
Speaker 1: eating away at another solid inch and a half of
Speaker 1: that SpongeBob squarepant figure, you know, And I'm like, come on, ladies.
Speaker 1: So I had this, like I have wanted to try
Speaker 1: on the idea of perhaps getting a reduction and a lift.
Speaker 1: Husband is wildly obsessed with my breasts, and so I
Speaker 1: do think that's what we're saying, because this isn't coming
Speaker 1: from anywhere other than me. Here's the tears. This is
Speaker 1: so I feel like so silly. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: being ungrateful or something for this like beautiful, healthy body,
Speaker 1: like they're healthy boobs. But like I'm so we were guys.
Speaker 1: I feel like an idiot. We did this video. We
Speaker 1: were on in the Bahamas, and the guys were like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this video walking on the beach. They
Speaker 1: have this new song. It's beautiful, it's so special. And
Speaker 1: you know, I have another wife and my duo, and
Speaker 1: she's a quite a bit younger than me, seven or
Speaker 1: eight years younger than me. She had our babies early.
Speaker 1: She has these really great boobs, and I do a
Speaker 1: really good job of not comparing myself. I mean, you're
Speaker 1: my best friend and you're stunning, and I don't ever
Speaker 1: compare me to you. I'm really good about this, but
Speaker 1: for some reason that video and Preston would be just
Speaker 1: absolutely embarrassed if he knew this, because I almost wanted
Speaker 1: to be like, don't post it, because I just felt
Speaker 1: so insecure in that video and that is not like me.
Speaker 1: But I don't usually have boobs out either, as you know,
Speaker 1: and it was the first time where I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't like I feel so silly. I just don't
Speaker 1: like how I look, and it made me feel like
Speaker 1: I didn't want him to post it. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, well, that's not fair because probably my boobs
Speaker 1: are more relatable to ninety percent of the world. And again,
Speaker 1: this is like feels like superficial or something to even
Speaker 1: be upset about it. But for some reason, I'm really
Speaker 1: struggling with even like going to get a consultation because
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm being ridiculous or like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I guess it is just like superficial is the word
Speaker 1: I just keep coming back to. It feels like dumb
Speaker 1: or something that it would even I think I feel
Speaker 1: ungrateful to even consider doing something like that, so I
Speaker 1: won't even go to a doctor. Why am I crying?
Speaker 1: I think it's like mourning the loss of a body,
Speaker 1: you know, like as moms, we've gotten to know our
Speaker 1: bodies probably three or four times over, you know, like
Speaker 1: every woman can pretty much agree with that, whether you're
Speaker 1: a mom or not. Like the body that you know
Speaker 1: in your hottest bar dancing days, you still don't have that.
Speaker 1: And so I've really felt like I work my tail off,
Speaker 1: I work out, I eat clean, and it's just like
Speaker 1: the one thing that doesn't I don't know. I hope
Speaker 1: people don't rip me apart for crying about this.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, your emotions are your emotions, So
Speaker 3: no one can rip you apart for having emotions about
Speaker 3: anything that makes you feel insecure or uncomfortable or anything.
Speaker 3: So don't let that be a deterrent. But I mean
Speaker 3: not to like interrupt you, but to say, you know, so,
Speaker 3: why what is it that's holding like do you want
Speaker 3: to have surgery?
Speaker 2: Do you want to?
Speaker 3: Or you're you're saying you're held back because you feel
Speaker 3: like it's superficial.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I do think I'm superficial
Speaker 1: for having fake thiss. No, I really don't. That's why
Speaker 1: I'm like, and why is it so hard for me
Speaker 1: to make this? I here's the other place I go to.
Speaker 1: I'm forty three now, and if they feel like this now,
Speaker 1: it's not like gravity is in my favor. As time
Speaker 1: goes on. We've all seen our grandma's boobs when we
Speaker 1: didn't want to when we were we did bless or seven.
Speaker 1: So I think I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna I think
Speaker 1: I'll get to a place where I'm going to go, gosh,
Speaker 1: I wish I would have done that, you know, ten
Speaker 1: years ago. And I also know we're done having babies,
Speaker 1: and so like, this is the body I'm working with now,
Speaker 1: and I don't. I do not want an implant. That's
Speaker 1: nothing against anyone. I just I think because I already
Speaker 1: have so many foreign things in my body, like the
Speaker 1: rods and the wires and the like, I don't need
Speaker 1: any of that. I just, for some reason, I just
Speaker 1: feel this like immense amount of guilt for even wanting it. Why.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think because I have a healthy body. Sure,
Speaker 1: but you also if there's something that you would want
Speaker 1: to do to. So I think it's I think this
Speaker 1: is like twofold. The first thing is, as we're getting older,
Speaker 1: like you said, our bodies are changing. I mean, I've
Speaker 1: I haven't done botox in a year now. I've seen that.
Speaker 1: I'm I can see my face is changing, ring goals,
Speaker 1: I don't look the same like I did some of it.
Speaker 1: I feel like I look better now that I'm thinking prettier,
Speaker 1: but also there's other pieces of me that I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh gosh, And the other day I'm like, god, I
Speaker 1: think I I think I need to make the decision
Speaker 1: to do botox again because I just I just look old.
Speaker 1: And so I've noticed I've started to talk down a
Speaker 1: bit more to myself. But I'm also realizing we're just
Speaker 1: getting older too, and yeah, we're just we're changing. And
Speaker 1: I don't think there's necessarily and I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: go like I don't want to be twenty again, right,
Speaker 1: you know, I truly don't. I actually really love this
Speaker 1: forty three year old body. I feel like it's stronger
Speaker 1: than it's ever been. So that's why. But I thought
Speaker 1: it was a good topic. I'm hoping there's some solidarity
Speaker 1: and some of the women out there. But I also
Speaker 1: I'm like, you have elected to get the surgery, and
Speaker 1: it was like not, I felt like I never saw
Speaker 1: you struggle. And I'm like, ashhn't. Why can't I see
Speaker 1: high as a kite on Easter post it Eastern Jana.
Speaker 1: I wish we had a video of Eastern Janna. And
Speaker 1: I'm really not trying to be over dramatic. That's like
Speaker 1: I just I think because I have had friends that
Speaker 1: have breast cancer and they've had to have these big surgeries,
Speaker 1: and I'm going, the girls are so healthy, and then
Speaker 1: is it this weird thing that society has put on
Speaker 1: us that we have to look a certain way. But
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily need them to be a certain cup
Speaker 1: size or anything. I would just love for them to,
Speaker 1: you know, take a few steps up. I would love
Speaker 1: to be able to get dressed and not you know.
Speaker 1: And I think there's I think that's an you know,
Speaker 1: oh cat comment on this too. But I think it's
Speaker 1: something that you have talked about for years now, Yes,
Speaker 1: for a lot of years. It's something that you go
Speaker 1: back to. It's something that you have in so security about.
Speaker 1: I don't find it superficial at all in wanting to
Speaker 1: get a lift and so that you can have that confidence. Now,
Speaker 1: you don't need to get a lift to have the confidence, No,
Speaker 1: because you're a confident person, you're a beautiful person. You
Speaker 1: don't need that. But if it's something and if it's
Speaker 1: something that you want to maybe for yourself, it's like,
Speaker 1: that's okay. I don't know, kat, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean this coming from a person who's who wanted
Speaker 3: a boob job since I was sixteen, you know, because
Speaker 3: I don't have boobs, I had the opposite problem. You know,
Speaker 3: I did go for a consultation back around the time
Speaker 3: Jana got hers. It was around the same time I
Speaker 3: went for a consultation, and I ultimately decided it wasn't
Speaker 3: for me. Not because I felt like it was superficial, Honestly,
Speaker 3: I just I didn't like the way I, you know,
Speaker 3: tried it on. I didn't like the way it looked
Speaker 3: on my body. I just think that had I liked
Speaker 3: it and had it felt good, then I have, you know,
Speaker 3: gone forward with it, Like I don't. I don't see
Speaker 3: it as a superficial thing either, But your feelings are
Speaker 3: warranted at the same time, if that's how you know
Speaker 3: if that's how you're feeling, but maybe it would be
Speaker 3: beneficial to go for a consultation and then see how
Speaker 3: you feel. You know, maure, you like what it would
Speaker 3: look like and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they have the three D so you can
Speaker 1: really see what it looks like. My biggest regret with
Speaker 1: my boobs is that I don't know if I solely
Speaker 1: did it for me, okay, And I think that's what
Speaker 1: I could say would be my biggest piece of advice
Speaker 1: is it has to be one hundred percent for you,
Speaker 1: you know, And like you said, he loves your boobs, right.
Speaker 1: I was in a marriage that a husband was cheating
Speaker 1: all the time, and I would see the women that
Speaker 1: he was cheating with, and I'm like, I look nothing
Speaker 1: like them, okay. And so when I was presented with
Speaker 1: you know, I thought about it for a while, like
Speaker 1: maybe if I had bigger boobs, he wouldn't cheat, or
Speaker 1: he'd find me sexier or something like that. Now I
Speaker 1: got to a place where I think it was for
Speaker 1: me because I chose the doctor because I had a
Speaker 1: couple of consultations I had won in Los Angeles and
Speaker 1: I won't say the doctor, but it was it was
Speaker 1: out in LA when my ex and I were living
Speaker 1: out in LA and that was, you know, when we
Speaker 1: were obviously trying to reconcile things. But I still was like,
Speaker 1: maybe if I had bigger boobs and was like sexier
Speaker 1: because mine as well, My boobs were always great and perky,
Speaker 1: but after the two kids, they just sagged really bad
Speaker 1: and so and certain things just didn't go back to
Speaker 1: looking the same. And you know, yes, so people would
Speaker 1: look at them and be like, oh my goodness, and
Speaker 1: so I felt gross. And so when I went to
Speaker 1: the LA doctor, he was like, you should have you
Speaker 1: should get this this size and this is what it
Speaker 1: should look like. And I'm like, no, those just look
Speaker 1: too big on me, don't I don't like the way
Speaker 1: that looks. He's like, I promised you you're going to
Speaker 1: want bigger, and I'm like, he's like every time someone
Speaker 1: ever gets a boob job, they always say I wish
Speaker 1: I would I wish I would have gone bigger, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can promise you. I'm not that girl.
Speaker 1: Like I don't want big boobs. I just i'd like
Speaker 1: him a little bigger. I'd like to be maybe a
Speaker 1: sea or something. But I don't want to be like
Speaker 1: a big, big c and that you're a tiny person too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that. So that felt wrong to me. So I
Speaker 1: decided on my doctor here, doctor Hunger, who I just
Speaker 1: love so much. And he saw this, like he gave
Speaker 1: me that option, but he's like, I think you should
Speaker 1: go here, and it was like kind of the middle route,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yes, that looks supernatural, and that's
Speaker 1: but like a little something else, a little extra but
Speaker 1: post so obviously I loved it. I had a lot
Speaker 1: of fun with them post divorce, right because Mike never
Speaker 1: actually got to feel them because we had gotten divorced,
Speaker 1: like I found out about the him cheating again, so
Speaker 1: like he didn't even get to see them, which was glorious,
Speaker 1: you know. So they were not touched. They were fresh,
Speaker 1: non touched boobs, and I and everyone knows I flaunted them.
Speaker 1: I did. I took every bikini. As Alan likes to
Speaker 1: just he was like in your thirsty hungry days. I
Speaker 1: was like absolutely, I showed these bad boys off a
Speaker 1: time or two. I mean, like some of these photos
Speaker 1: I was like, babe, he's like hungry and I was
Speaker 1: like I was starving for like attention, and it was
Speaker 1: sad actually when I look back at it now. But
Speaker 1: where I'm at now is I would actually like to
Speaker 1: take out my implant and just lift them again. Are
Speaker 1: we going to do it together? Because Alan's very much
Speaker 1: like I don't. He's like, I love your boobs, He's
Speaker 1: like you don't. And he doesn't like implants. He doesn't
Speaker 1: like faking the fake stuff, you know. So he's very
Speaker 1: He's not against me getting botox, but he doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to get botox. He doesn't he doesn't like the implants,
Speaker 1: he doesn't like I mean, he loves my boobs, but
Speaker 1: like sure, if I was to get him again, he
Speaker 1: would be like, take him out and I would just
Speaker 1: do them do a lift. Yeah, Cat, I see you about.
Speaker 3: The question though, rebuttal So then if you were taking
Speaker 3: them out, are you taking them out for him or
Speaker 3: are you taking them out for you?
Speaker 1: So it would I've been thinking about it just in
Speaker 1: general general with everything, and I don't know b I
Speaker 1: all the symptoms of the breast implant. There's technically I
Speaker 1: do have a foreign foreign object in my body that
Speaker 1: can cause inflammation. That could but there's also studies on
Speaker 1: the other side. I've heard both sides speak, you know,
Speaker 1: and I've at the end of the day, you know,
Speaker 1: I think I kind of just want it to be
Speaker 1: more natural and not have an implant in there. So
Speaker 1: when that time comes for me to take them out
Speaker 1: and redo them again, I don't know if I don't
Speaker 1: think i'd put them back in, But I don't know,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, talk to me in
Speaker 1: ten years when I decide to do that again.
Speaker 3: So you would keep them for the next ten years
Speaker 3: and then I'm.
Speaker 1: Not going to take them out, like unless they're causing
Speaker 1: me issues or something like that. But no, I would.
Speaker 1: I would keep them in. But I think when it
Speaker 1: comes to the point, I wouldn't reput another implant in.
Speaker 1: But I I personally like, this is not for a
Speaker 1: man or whatever. I did not like the feeling of
Speaker 1: so I would have just regardless of a man. The
Speaker 1: implant was, I think, not something that I would have
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. It wasn't one hundred percent for me,
Speaker 1: got it. It was more myself, my insecurity and my
Speaker 1: wanting to be like everybody else that you know, he
Speaker 1: was with. So I think it just really hit me
Speaker 1: when I because I usually don't do bikini pictures or
Speaker 1: some suit pictures. And and again, like if I was
Speaker 1: like I don't like that video, don't put it up,
Speaker 1: they wouldn't put it up. But I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this is I'm a relatable woman in the way that
Speaker 1: like I don't have reast implants and I'm you know,
Speaker 1: forty three and I'm trying my best. But it was
Speaker 1: the first time, like I love to style and wear
Speaker 1: things and try new things, and I think that it
Speaker 1: felt like I was like, I shouldn't award that, like
Speaker 1: it just I but there's no good way to manage
Speaker 1: like a size D boob with no gravity. I think
Speaker 1: if you're in the like my mom, she's openly talked
Speaker 1: about if she had the income, she would want to
Speaker 1: do a lift. And that's something where because it's she
Speaker 1: doesn't you know again, you're older, you've had kids, You've
Speaker 1: all I wasn't breastfed, but thanks mom, But noma kidding
Speaker 1: at it either, but like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it's just listen, I didn't recipe there. It's fine,
Speaker 1: but my boos were huge. So anyways, but like you,
Speaker 1: I think at that age, you know it's better to
Speaker 1: do it now, if you're going to do it, then
Speaker 1: that's where I'm at. Yeah, if you're going to go
Speaker 1: down under and all that, I would lift them. I
Speaker 1: fully support you doing whatever you want to do for yourself. Sure,
Speaker 1: and that is not as an intense as other surgeries. Yeah, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know why. It has literally just brought me fan.
Speaker 1: I've met him and he seems quite lovely and I
Speaker 1: love him. He's fantastic. If you do do it, okay,
Speaker 1: And I I want.
Speaker 3: To kind of defend you, Kristen, in the sense that
Speaker 3: there are not many women who would enjoy seeing themselves
Speaker 3: on a video in a bikini. I just I want
Speaker 3: to be very clear about that.
Speaker 1: I mean most women. I don't like seeing myself in being.
Speaker 2: Of women for whatever reason.
Speaker 3: You're looking at your boobs, I'd be looking at something else.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at my stomach.
Speaker 2: I'm you know, just.
Speaker 3: Keep them, like, give yourself some grace there for being
Speaker 3: feeling that way, because I don't think I could name
Speaker 3: a woman who would one hundred percent just be like great, awesome,
Speaker 3: so glad that's going on, you know, like that's a
Speaker 3: normal feeling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I do. I think that's like the first time.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, there's a couple of things that I'm
Speaker 1: not super in love with, you know. But I also
Speaker 1: go back to like this as the body that God
Speaker 1: gave me and blah blah blah and so. But like
Speaker 1: it was the first time where I was like, I really,
Speaker 1: that is really hitting somewhere. And I then I think
Speaker 1: it's just the guilt and shame I put with it
Speaker 1: that makes me feel so emotional. Yeah, but I mean
Speaker 1: there's certain things too that you can't after a baby,
Speaker 1: you know. Some I'd even talk Tom like, man, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get a mommy mommy talk or whatever, And now
Speaker 1: I was like he was, I mean, he was very
Speaker 1: against it because his buddy lost a wife to Sepsis
Speaker 1: that from the surgery or whatever. But that's a very
Speaker 1: invasive surgery. I don't even know why I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: but I think just because I wanted to, well, there
Speaker 1: is I was worried about maybe the if I could
Speaker 1: get my body back in shape after three kids, and
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just wanted to have a flat stomach. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I just like, you know, I just like this would
Speaker 1: be great, you know. But then I was able to
Speaker 1: find workouts and food and find out where where my
Speaker 1: inflammation was coming from. And like, you know, now I
Speaker 1: feel so much better. But you can't do that with
Speaker 1: your boobs. I feel that's that's where you there's things
Speaker 1: that you can No. I'm not saying that's everyone. There's
Speaker 1: a cure all forever, but for a boobs you can't.
Speaker 1: There's no there's nothing you can take. There's no exercise
Speaker 1: you can do. There's no vampire you know exercises. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I'm thankful I got to unpin it. I really just was.
Speaker 1: I just needed your brains and your voice over it,
Speaker 1: because I, for some reason, have just put myself in
Speaker 1: this category of like, it's just being ridiculous. I think
Speaker 1: you'll be so happy that you did it. I think
Speaker 1: so too, And I don't know why I'm so stuck.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't. I'm a pretty say some person, oh they're
Speaker 1: going to do that, and I'm gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: sign me up, let's do it till and they're going
Speaker 1: to show you that three D yes because it isn't
Speaker 1: truly even about how I look naked, it's just about dressing.
Speaker 1: I'm so tired of, you know, grabbing the girls and
Speaker 1: putting them in the only bra that works and can't
Speaker 1: do strapless and can't do this, and it's like, I
Speaker 1: want to have more fun than that. I freaking enjoy
Speaker 1: wardrobe too much to be styling around this. And I'm
Speaker 1: also in the same breath so freaking grateful for a
Speaker 1: healthy body that I just am like, Okay, well, then
Speaker 1: maybe it's just what we do. We deal with Pamelin,
Speaker 1: Like our good friend Pamelin says, we're not going out
Speaker 1: without a fight. Amen to that. And ladies, have grace
Speaker 1: for yourself. Yes, and if it's something that you want
Speaker 1: to do for you, then police support it. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'll drive you to the appointment. I might need you. Actually,
Speaker 1: the medicine afterward is fun. You would video and send
Speaker 1: it to line. I'm oh, man, sorry for the emotions ladies.
Speaker 1: On that note, let's take a break. Okay, we got
Speaker 1: a whine. Anybody who's got a whine about it?
Speaker 3: I mean, I can go for it.
Speaker 2: I love gat.
Speaker 1: He's just like, let me just go back to my rolodex.
Speaker 3: But uh, y'all, I don't know why, Like we are
Speaker 3: just like the emotional group man, and I've just two.
Speaker 2: Weeks ago I was crying.
Speaker 3: I was crying all last night, night through the night
Speaker 3: to day, Like you.
Speaker 2: Know, why don't you tell me?
Speaker 3: Well, it's it seems silly, but like long story short,
Speaker 3: you know, Amy does all start cheer. It's really busy
Speaker 3: part of the season, and she's just had a coach
Speaker 3: that's just been really really like picking on her all season.
Speaker 3: And so last night at practice, this coach calls me
Speaker 3: in and wants to have a talk with us. So
Speaker 3: we have a talk, and it's just it's I have
Speaker 3: to say, it is so frustrating to me that I
Speaker 3: cry when I'm frustrated. So like I'm frustrated he's talking
Speaker 3: to me. I'm frustrated with him and frustrated with her,
Speaker 3: and I like want to just want to cry, and
Speaker 3: she's crying and I'm just like mad at myself. So
Speaker 3: I just was really upset last night and had a
Speaker 3: conversation with some other coaches. It's just it's a balance
Speaker 3: because it's you know, in sports now, it's just very
Speaker 3: like you want to push these kids to be better athletes,
Speaker 3: but like I'm like, what are we doing like at
Speaker 3: the expense of her mental health? Like, is she's not
Speaker 3: having fun? Anymore. This isn't okay, you know, like she's
Speaker 3: walking out in tears and we're spending all this time
Speaker 3: doing it. So it's more just like the emotional like
Speaker 3: what is right? Just kind of back to like what
Speaker 3: we talked about last week, what is right? What is wrong?
Speaker 3: Is it okay for me to let them push her
Speaker 3: this hard and be picking on her the whole time?
Speaker 3: Is it not okay? Like I'm her mother, I have
Speaker 3: to make that decision, you know. So it's just all
Speaker 3: that and just going through the emotions of that, and
Speaker 3: I just couldn't stop crying last night.
Speaker 1: Does she want to cheer anymore?
Speaker 3: So I told her last night, I was like, we
Speaker 3: can be done to night, Like I will call them
Speaker 3: to night and say we are not showing up tomorrow,
Speaker 3: Like this isn't worth it. I give you permission to
Speaker 3: do whatever, because I'm like, you have to pay money
Speaker 3: if you quit, and like all the things, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't, yeah, Like because it's a contract, it's a deal.
Speaker 3: You are putting teams out, like we have a big
Speaker 3: comp coming up, and you know she's on two teams,
Speaker 3: you know all that. So I was like, this is
Speaker 3: your option. So last night. I mean, she just was
Speaker 3: emotionally exhausted. She's crying, and it's just like, what do
Speaker 3: you want? And she was like, I just want to
Speaker 3: love it again, and I just want him to be
Speaker 3: nicer to me, you know, And so I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: Like that's then she's like, but I don't want to quit.
Speaker 3: I don't want to quit on the team. So I don't.
Speaker 3: It's like, okay. So then I talked to some other
Speaker 3: coaches today and you know, we just kind of talked
Speaker 3: through it and the emotions of that, and like, you know,
Speaker 3: going back to the fact that she's a thirteen year
Speaker 3: old girl who's grown probably six inches in the last
Speaker 3: you know, she used to be tiny, and so she's
Speaker 3: just grown a lot, and like what does that mean
Speaker 3: for her mental health? Because she feels like she's big now,
Speaker 3: you know, and that's a heart That's what gets me crying,
Speaker 3: is like she feels like she's too big and no
Speaker 3: one's putting that in her head other than people have
Speaker 3: to lift her up. So when they drop her, that
Speaker 3: just goes immediately to her head. I'm too big, I'm
Speaker 3: too fat, I'm you know this, And so that's just
Speaker 3: been a struggle. That's been a real struggle with a
Speaker 3: middle school girl feeling that when her body is perfectly
Speaker 3: normal and perfectly healthy. And so it's just been I
Speaker 3: don't know, it's been a struggle over here.
Speaker 1: And that's it. That's a fine line to walk too,
Speaker 1: because you know, if if she's feeling that on the
Speaker 1: body image, it's like, all right, where is she going
Speaker 1: to now put that? Is that going to go into
Speaker 1: her not eating as much? Is that going to go
Speaker 1: into an eating disorder or not to like you know,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure you've.
Speaker 2: Thought about it.
Speaker 3: That's exactly where my head is. Then I'm you know,
Speaker 3: there are two people that I know who are battling that,
Speaker 3: who are cheerleaders, who are flyers, who are in that
Speaker 3: same position, and I'm just like, at what you know,
Speaker 3: it's just walking that line and not letting it get
Speaker 3: to that point and keeping an eye on that and
Speaker 3: being careful with that.
Speaker 1: And it's such a fine line too when it comes
Speaker 1: to you want them. You want the coaches to be tough, right,
Speaker 1: because you don't want just the coach to be oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: good job when it wasn't good or there wasn't You
Speaker 1: want them to have growth and you know, learn and
Speaker 1: do better. But if what is it that is causing
Speaker 1: the disconnect because I know she can take criticism or
Speaker 1: or not criticism, but like constructive criticism.
Speaker 3: I'll say, yeah, I mean, and that's what's interesting, Like
Speaker 3: her other coaches are tough on her also, but this
Speaker 3: is a new coach and he comes from a different
Speaker 3: gem that is you know, huge Jim, and like they
Speaker 3: win and they win and they win, and he has
Speaker 3: acknowledged that he is harder on her the other than
Speaker 3: a lot of the other girls on the team. His
Speaker 3: reasoning being that he sees something in her that he
Speaker 3: knows she can be an amazing athlete and that she
Speaker 3: can get to these higher levels. But like I explained
Speaker 3: to him and to the other coaches, I was like,
Speaker 3: but if he pushes her away, she's never going to
Speaker 3: get there. So there has to be this balance of
Speaker 3: you know, it's a team sport. It can't all be
Speaker 3: her fault, you know, it can't be. It's just it's
Speaker 3: a balance and figuring that out. And it's just been
Speaker 3: And it's funny. I've been watching a lot of coaches
Speaker 3: things lately and how sports are done now and how
Speaker 3: you know, nothing's fun anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 2: Serious, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Feel like we I even remember feeling the pressure. Like
Speaker 1: love was really good at gymnastics when she was little,
Speaker 1: like three four, and they were like she could be,
Speaker 1: you know, on team by December and I and I
Speaker 1: and she started to not love it because they were
Speaker 1: just pushing her. She was like four five years old.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is ridiculous. But when we were young,
Speaker 1: it was like you could try a sport for a
Speaker 1: little bit, see if you liked it. If it wasn't
Speaker 1: your jami quit, you know, you move along. But now
Speaker 1: I feel like it's almost like you have to figure
Speaker 1: out what your kids are good at by like age four,
Speaker 1: and because if you try to put them in, Like
Speaker 1: when I was ten or eleven, I could try a
Speaker 1: new sport if you're ten or eleven, Now new sports
Speaker 1: are really not for you. You're behind, and that is
Speaker 1: really unfair to children who are learning their bodies, learning
Speaker 1: their emotions, learning their strengths. Like so we ended up
Speaker 1: pulling her out of gymnastics and putting her back in.
Speaker 1: Now she's in cheer and she loves it, but she's
Speaker 1: in a really sweet little program that's really about praying
Speaker 1: them in. They pray them in, they pray them out.
Speaker 1: It's about their strengths. But I can't imagine the level
Speaker 1: that y'all are at and like the pressure that comes
Speaker 1: with it. It's also not fair and it's not It doesn't.
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is the word I'm looking for,
Speaker 1: but it isn't. It isn't equal to their age and
Speaker 1: their growth. The amount of pressure that we're putting on them.
Speaker 1: This is like things that like master athletes are hearing
Speaker 1: and doing, and instead of coaching some good out of them,
Speaker 1: they'll coach them right out of a sport. Like I
Speaker 1: my thing for love is fall in love with the sport,
Speaker 1: keep loving the sport, and keep learning how strong you are.
Speaker 1: And the minute those things fall away, we're out. Because
Speaker 1: it's just an unrealistic pressure for the age group of
Speaker 1: these roles.
Speaker 3: And well, on the other part of that is, you know,
Speaker 3: all the athletes are different, and I understand that that
Speaker 3: is a struggle for coaches because they have to figure
Speaker 3: out how to coach pretty much differently. You know, like
Speaker 3: some pressures are great for her, like if you tell
Speaker 3: her I want you to have this by blah blah blah,
Speaker 3: like she'll hon in, but if you humiliate her in
Speaker 3: a practice in the middle of everybody, she's going to
Speaker 3: shut down and stop listening to you.
Speaker 2: And then that's where they get.
Speaker 3: Frustrated because it's like she's not listening or she's not
Speaker 3: making the changes, you know. So it's just it's a balance.
Speaker 3: And every child is so different, and I understand they're
Speaker 3: trying to get these athletes. They're pushing them so they
Speaker 3: can compete with the other ones because they are starting
Speaker 3: so young, you know, take it not even cheer, but
Speaker 3: like look at baseball, especially baseball is a big one.
Speaker 3: They're doing baseball year round now, and by the time
Speaker 3: you get to middle school, you're not making that middle
Speaker 3: school team if you haven't played since.
Speaker 2: So coaches are.
Speaker 3: Pushing them to prepare them for that, to get them there.
Speaker 3: But at what expense, I don't know. It's just it's
Speaker 3: a it's a hard balance now for sure.
Speaker 1: You're also seeing an increase in injury in young people
Speaker 1: too because of this, Like we're pushing these teenagers specifically
Speaker 1: to lift more and to do more, and their bones,
Speaker 1: their growing bodies can't support, like physically they can't support
Speaker 1: these workouts and these expectations that people are putting on
Speaker 1: them and they're getting injured.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean my son has had a stress fracture
Speaker 3: in his back from lifting at the high school for
Speaker 3: football for months. I mean he's out again for another
Speaker 3: three months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I mean.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, I think that. Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 3: It's it's just a balance. Like we definitely are athletes
Speaker 3: and and a lot of the great things they learned
Speaker 3: from that, a lot of great things they learn from
Speaker 3: these coaches, you know. And the adversity that she'll go
Speaker 3: through with this even and having to work through this
Speaker 3: and work through a coach that they just butt heads,
Speaker 3: you know, I do think is good for them, but
Speaker 3: it's hard for the mama.
Speaker 1: I also think it's where they're at to with other
Speaker 1: things going on in their life. Like Kat you know,
Speaker 1: wanted she offered for Jolie to try out for the
Speaker 1: travel softball team because that's something that she has really found,
Speaker 1: something that is you know that she's good at right,
Speaker 1: She's so she's truly like softball. She ended up having
Speaker 1: the flu, so she couldn't go, But there was a
Speaker 1: piece of me that I wasn't that upset with it
Speaker 1: because where Jolie's at right now, her confidence is so
Speaker 1: hit from the dyslexia that right now I just need
Speaker 1: to build her up so much. And if if that,
Speaker 1: you know, if she didn't get it, which she probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't have because she's not at the left because she
Speaker 1: hasn't done you know, she's just done wreck and there's
Speaker 1: these people have been doing travel for since they were
Speaker 1: at four or whatever it is. Yeah, so it's like,
Speaker 1: I mean, she probably wouldn't have really made it, but
Speaker 1: like and I wanted that experience for because I think
Speaker 1: this is something that she can really do great in.
Speaker 1: But I'm almost okay that she didn't this year just
Speaker 1: because right now, like I need, I need to build
Speaker 1: that confidence her because it is it has rocked her
Speaker 1: this year. I mean, we started off the year because
Speaker 1: we kind of knew the dyslexia talk started in first grade.
Speaker 1: I kind of started to notice it a little bit again,
Speaker 1: knew nothing about it. And then when this her third
Speaker 1: grade teacher came to one of her softball games and
Speaker 1: she's like, hey, do you have She's like, can I
Speaker 1: talk to you? You know, She's like she's really really
Speaker 1: down on herself and just saying she's stupid and she's,
Speaker 1: you know, the dumbest kid in class and she can't read.
Speaker 1: She's like she has out. I'm like what I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm like bawling at her softball game, you know, like
Speaker 1: just hearing like my daughter, Like no, she's so light
Speaker 1: and happy and you know, positive, and she she knows
Speaker 1: she's enough. Like we've got the sign on her door
Speaker 1: that she leaves and she leaves the room like I'm
Speaker 1: Jolie Ray, I'm enough and I'm smart and brave and
Speaker 1: so this, you know not and then working through all
Speaker 1: this now her third grade and then you know, getting
Speaker 1: the final diagnosis. But you know, she's like, you know,
Speaker 1: am I you know, am my special needs? Like she
Speaker 1: says all these things that she's you know, that she's dumb.
Speaker 1: And so it's now you know, she's working with a therapist.
Speaker 1: So I'm like I in this stage of life, like
Speaker 1: I'm almost glad because I'm like, right now, it's like
Speaker 1: I don't think she could handle a tough coach at
Speaker 1: this moment, Like we gotta we got to build her
Speaker 1: up and encourage her. And then you know, but then
Speaker 1: I also think that tough coaching is really important too,
Speaker 1: so like bring that in when the season is a
Speaker 1: little bit lighter on other things of life, because these
Speaker 1: kids are just being thrown things at such a young
Speaker 1: age too, and feelings and all of it, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate to take that about Jolie. I do
Speaker 3: think too. When she is ready for that and she
Speaker 3: does go to that point, that's where parenting becomes really
Speaker 3: important and paying attention and being their advocate. Yeah, And
Speaker 3: that's kind of why I talked, you know, today to
Speaker 3: some other coaches because I was like, you know, as
Speaker 3: her mother, like I have to watch out for her
Speaker 3: mental health, you know, And that's just where it becomes
Speaker 3: really important. And some coaches that push them they'll connect
Speaker 3: with and some push coaches that push them they won't
Speaker 3: and they'll shut down and it may make you know,
Speaker 3: And so it's just really important I think for parents
Speaker 3: to stay involved, be there. That's why I like to
Speaker 3: be there as much as I possibly can so I
Speaker 3: can see it. I can watch it and see how
Speaker 3: they're affected by it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And it's just such a fine line too. Because
Speaker 1: I was talking to you, Kat, I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: she when she strikes out it's like, you know, she's
Speaker 1: crying and I'm like, Jolie, no, no cry like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like you, it's like she just
Speaker 1: takes it on, like she's now dumb and a bad player.
Speaker 1: It's like no, like you know. So it's so hard.
Speaker 1: It's like parenting it's just once third grade hit man.
Speaker 1: It's really just emotional skyrocketed, you know, and trying to
Speaker 1: find that balance of like life is going to be tough.
Speaker 1: But we got to build the confidence, you know, and you, Catherine,
Speaker 1: you're doing a great job, you know without that, I mean,
Speaker 1: like you said, being her advocate and that's the hugest thing.
Speaker 1: The best thing we can do is be their advocate
Speaker 1: and be there for them. And yeah, I think your
Speaker 1: tears are fair, and you're a good mom and you
Speaker 1: love hard.
Speaker 2: You're sweet.
Speaker 3: I literally was on the phone. I was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: I'm getting emotional, and then I told him, she goes.
Speaker 2: You cried on the phone.
Speaker 3: Okay, listen, get out.
Speaker 1: I don't need my client berating me because I'm trying
Speaker 1: to talk to it. Yeah. Hard, it is hard, so hard, exhausting,
Speaker 1: and parenting ourselves is hard. To reparenting the three of
Speaker 1: us are busy doing a.
Speaker 3: Lot of that grace for all of us.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 1: That's right, let's take a break. You know, I gotta
Speaker 1: be honest. I I don't really have a headline that
Speaker 1: is really grabbing. I was like, I'm gonna go with
Speaker 1: us weekly check out some headlines. But well, there's an
Speaker 1: asteroid coming for us. If we needed more lighter lighter
Speaker 1: did you see this? Where'spent affleic when we need them?
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I feel like I was
Speaker 1: going to sing in arms of angel wrong movie. I
Speaker 1: don't know the three point one percent chance there's that
Speaker 1: you're saying there's a chance. So you say there's a chance,
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I don't need
Speaker 1: an asteroid. Usually I've got the news on the morning,
Speaker 1: and I did not hear about an asteroid. What channelane
Speaker 1: it's tracking that it would hit in eight years, I believe,
Speaker 1: And what can't we divert and do what? Literally Armageddon
Speaker 1: did get the plane? I know for this oil dig it? Well,
Speaker 1: I hadn't blow it up, guys, come on, I did
Speaker 1: have a really so my husband is an honorary Guardian
Speaker 1: of the Galaxy through the space Force of the United
Speaker 1: States Space Force and I can't say that usually without laughing,
Speaker 1: and he gets really angry at me. And so I
Speaker 1: was like, well, this is where your side hustle comes in.
Speaker 1: Break up the asteroid there, Preston, I don't know. Apparently
Speaker 1: that's coming. They said that we will see it and
Speaker 1: then it will disappear for our view for four years,
Speaker 1: and then when it comes back, we'll have to make
Speaker 1: bigger decisions.
Speaker 3: I feel like all the headlines lately had just been
Speaker 3: playing crashes, like how are y'all feeling about getting on plane?
Speaker 1: Well, we know how channel feels. It's literally my worst nightmare.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just it's everywhere right now. I feel
Speaker 3: like every headline now, I'm like, okay, and we had.
Speaker 1: An upside down Delta. Did you see that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so bizarre.
Speaker 1: I kind of want a hermit in my house even more.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Same.
Speaker 1: I will say this, I flew right after the tragedy
Speaker 1: over DC. I flew pretty quickly after that, actually, and
Speaker 1: I feel like there is a sweet day. I did
Speaker 1: fly the next day. Yeah, yeah, because I texted you.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's right you okay? Are you still going?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I will say there is a Really there's something
Speaker 1: about listen, no tragedy, it's always horrible. There's something about
Speaker 1: humanity out of that though that I remember, like nine
Speaker 1: to twelve, right the day after nine to eleven, we
Speaker 1: were different people together, we cared differently about each other,
Speaker 1: we were compassionate. I felt that a little bit of
Speaker 1: that even in the airline industry the next day. So,
Speaker 1: for what it's worth, I think it's everyone's just being
Speaker 1: kinder and sweeter and more tender with each other. And
Speaker 1: you know, there was several announcements made like it is
Speaker 1: our dedication to get you to your next place, like
Speaker 1: very you know is safe and comfortable. And I will
Speaker 1: say I used to always be very annoyed of people
Speaker 1: that clapped on a plane. I'm going to clap at
Speaker 1: every landing. Now you're the clapper. I'm going to be
Speaker 1: the clapper. Three one thousand percent happening, Like, without a
Speaker 1: shadow of doubt, I'm clapping. I might even give a standing.
Speaker 1: Oh mammy, can't do that. Please stay in. I must
Speaker 1: stay locked in. Okay, let's take a break and then
Speaker 1: get I guys, I have to pee. I can't even think.
Speaker 3: What just happened?
Speaker 1: Am I going to get just absolutely annihilated from crying
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 3: That's why I also kind of went back to, like, look,
Speaker 3: no women feel good about themselves in bikinis.
Speaker 2: Let's just be real. I want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to just get ripped apart on top
Speaker 1: of it. I don't know why it's so emotional to me,
Speaker 1: but it is, and I can't help it. It makes
Speaker 1: me want to cry time. So whatever it's hitting.
Speaker 3: Oh, I just cry.
Speaker 1: I've cried a lot. I've been crying over.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's about getting old, I think too.
Speaker 1: It's probably mourning in the loss of like an era.
Speaker 1: It is. Acceptance of getting older is probably a piece
Speaker 1: of that too, Like they aren't going to go back
Speaker 1: to where they were, Like they just aren't, and I'm not.
Speaker 1: And all of those things are okay, And it's also
Speaker 1: tricky to navigate, all right. So to close out the show,
Speaker 1: our narrators here we've got listener advice. Here we go, Brittany. Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six from Glasgow. Oh hey girl, I could
Speaker 1: do your impersonation, but I can't. And okay, So I'm
Speaker 1: twenty six from Glasgow and getting married this year to
Speaker 1: my boyfriend of seven years. We are just engaged in December,
Speaker 1: but already booked our wedding for this September. Grat's Girl, Well,
Speaker 1: there is a lot to plan. The most stressful thing
Speaker 1: so far we can't agree on is the guest list.
Speaker 1: Oh ohway, oh boy. We were having a small ceremony
Speaker 1: of fifty people and then fifty evening guests. I have
Speaker 1: a really big family, whereas he has a large group
Speaker 1: of close friends. We are trying to make it fair
Speaker 1: by doing twenty five each, but I am finding it
Speaker 1: super difficult because so many of my family are not
Speaker 1: on the list. I have cut all extended family, but
Speaker 1: I don't have my aunts or uncles on my dad's side,
Speaker 1: and I am stressed in case they feel upset or
Speaker 1: annoyed about this. Any advice on the best way to
Speaker 1: do the guest list to make it fair and keep
Speaker 1: people somewhat happy. I have so much to say on this, Brittany,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, congrats. Second thing, we had a huge
Speaker 1: thing with my ex and I. I won't say which
Speaker 1: which marriage, but Jo and Kata my cat, did like
Speaker 1: that one. But it was very important to me because
Speaker 1: I was byng for the wedding that it was a
Speaker 1: small wedding and at the end of the day, it
Speaker 1: should just be about the people that you you would
Speaker 1: be upset that wasn't there, right, Like, if you had
Speaker 1: your wedding, it is who would you be most upset
Speaker 1: about that wasn't there on your big day, Not if
Speaker 1: they would be upset, but if you would be upset
Speaker 1: that they weren't there. And so we made a list
Speaker 1: of those people and the family members, and there were
Speaker 1: some on there. There were cousins that unfortunately didn't make
Speaker 1: the list that I would have loved to invited them.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, we weren't doing
Speaker 1: Actually no we did. We did first cousins, but second
Speaker 1: cousins and stuff like that, we just didn't. We didn't
Speaker 1: do that. I'm you know again, who who was going
Speaker 1: to be? Who we wanted to be at that wedding, right,
Speaker 1: And so his side of the family got so upset
Speaker 1: that we did not invite the cousins of his uncle
Speaker 1: that he barely really even knew. And then the mom
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'll pay, and I'm like, it's not
Speaker 1: about you paying for them, like it's actually has nothing
Speaker 1: to do about that. Well, first of all, it's not
Speaker 1: just about paying for just their food. It's the extra
Speaker 1: table plates and the chairs and the this, that and
Speaker 1: the other. I'm like, there's and at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, it's also it's not your wedding, mother in law, like,
Speaker 1: it's it's our wedding. And he barely knows them. You're
Speaker 1: just doing it because and there were step cousins too.
Speaker 1: That was the whole other thing. It was they were
Speaker 1: like step cousins. They weren't even first cousins, and and
Speaker 1: like he didn't want them there, but the mom was like,
Speaker 1: I'll pay for it, and I'm like no, And we
Speaker 1: got into this huge thing. His uncle actually stopped talking
Speaker 1: to him for a while because and his uncle chose
Speaker 1: not to come to the wedding, the one uncle that
Speaker 1: like he really wanted there. And I'm like, because you
Speaker 1: wanted your the step cousins to come from your wife
Speaker 1: And it was all about his new wife. It's kids
Speaker 1: and like I've never met them, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And it like why why? And he them like a
Speaker 1: couple times, I was like this is insane. So I
Speaker 1: think my only advice to you, Brittany is you guys,
Speaker 1: sit down, don't worry about other people's feelings. At the
Speaker 1: end of the day, this is your big day, obvious people.
Speaker 1: Most people will understand that. You know, weddings are expensive
Speaker 1: and you can't invite everyone, and if you could invite everyone,
Speaker 1: you would, But at the end of the day, you
Speaker 1: have to just invite the people that you would truly
Speaker 1: be so heartbroken are not there. But not because they
Speaker 1: would be heartbroken, because you would be heartbroken. That's all
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I like it. Former wedding planner here and
Speaker 1: two time wedding champ my own personal journey. I agree.
Speaker 1: I also think people spend a lot of time focusing
Speaker 1: on a wedding instead of focusing on a marriage. So
Speaker 1: I would encourage you to get on the same page
Speaker 1: and really pick up a copy of mel Robbin's Let
Speaker 1: Them book and just get through the first fifty pages
Speaker 1: at a minimum. I agree with everything, Janie. I think
Speaker 1: that the day goes by too quick. You don't need
Speaker 1: to be meeting anybody the first time the day of
Speaker 1: your wedding, and it's not about anybody else's day but you.
Speaker 1: It's that they're going to be upset. Yes, Kat, disagree
Speaker 1: with us, Go for it, girl.
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily disagree.
Speaker 3: I had the same situation with my wedding in the
Speaker 3: sense that my in laws wanted a lot of extended
Speaker 3: family that I didn't necessarily agree with. But I just
Speaker 3: kind of let it. For me, I was just kind
Speaker 3: of like, okay, whatever, if it's important to y'all, Like
Speaker 3: I'll just cut over here on my family and y'all
Speaker 3: can have it. It was kind of more I didn't
Speaker 3: want to just fight the battle. And I look back
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know, if it meant something to them.
Speaker 3: I don't really remember the day that much. I don't
Speaker 3: really remember those specific people that like we thought about inviting.
Speaker 3: So to me, it was like not that big of
Speaker 3: a deal. But the location wasn't affected. The seats necessarily
Speaker 3: weren't affected. You know, you might pick a place that
Speaker 3: you have to add, you know, there's a lot of
Speaker 3: that goes int to that. So to me, I was like,
Speaker 3: I can invite less people on my end for them
Speaker 3: to have more money or more people, and it's fine.
Speaker 3: So I just think it's what's comfortable for you, Brittany
Speaker 3: and for your fiance and whatever sits right with both
Speaker 3: of y'all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can also have an A list and a
Speaker 1: B list, and as people can't for some reason make
Speaker 1: it off the A list, then you can start incorporating
Speaker 1: other people if that's helpful, right exactly.
Speaker 3: I do agree with you, Kristin though you don't really
Speaker 3: need to be meeting anyone for the first time at
Speaker 3: your wedding, like that's just odd.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I've had that from experience. A lot of
Speaker 1: it just streusses people out. It's not fair, Yeah, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's a very intimate, personal, sacred place and it needs
Speaker 1: to be about the people that you want there, not
Speaker 1: the people your mom and dad used to bowl with
Speaker 1: on Wednesday nights. And I would too not look at
Speaker 1: it as like more more friends verus family or more
Speaker 1: family verse friends. It's true, I mean, because my wedding,
Speaker 1: it's I had more friends than I had family. And
Speaker 1: that's sure what. I've loved my aunts and uncles to come, absolutely,
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, I'm sorry, I
Speaker 1: would rather have my best friends there at the wedding
Speaker 1: that has been you know, in the making for for years,
Speaker 1: and the right one, you know, And they went to
Speaker 1: the other ones, but this one was like I really
Speaker 1: just needed my bestie is there, you know, and just
Speaker 1: the mom and dad. That's it, you know everybody else.
Speaker 1: I loved you and I would have loved but again,
Speaker 1: paying for it and it's expensive, it's a lot. Also
Speaker 1: encouraging Brittany to Elope if needed, always an option. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I saw always say that, but I'm really
Speaker 1: glad I didn't Elope with Alan. Oh I am glad
Speaker 1: you didn't either. Hey, I would I sat that special
Speaker 1: time with even if the even even though it was
Speaker 1: so little, I still really cherished the walk and having
Speaker 1: you guys there, oh for sure. But I was like Elope, Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I do feel like too. There's always the option of
Speaker 1: like a far away wedding or a very very teeny
Speaker 1: tiny like just bring it down to parents if needed,
Speaker 1: or like a couple of best friends. Like sometimes like
Speaker 1: the first ring out of the audience becomes like you
Speaker 1: feel like it has to be all or nothing. So
Speaker 1: maybe we don't need to get bigger, Maybe we need
Speaker 1: to get smaller, Brittany, just try that on too and
Speaker 1: see if that helps. Well. Cat on the field, glad
Speaker 1: to have you have you out there.
Speaker 2: I'll fetch you out tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Patching in live. Okay, Well, thanks for holding me and
Speaker 1: my boobs and supporting me and my always lift you up.
Speaker 1: I God, someone is that. I know We're gonna lift
Speaker 1: you up. Girlfriend, all all right there with you, all right,
Speaker 1: love you, love you, Bye bye