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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so something's missing on the couch and it is our Catherine.

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Speaker 1: She is live. When we do this on wind Down,

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Speaker 1: when we take the podcast on the road, we call

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Speaker 1: this segment Cat in the Field. So Cat, you're live

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Speaker 1: in the field, but you're only a few miles down

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Speaker 1: the road. Tell us Kat because she is too afraid

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Speaker 1: of the water that's on the roads.

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Speaker 2: I see that now.

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Speaker 3: Apparently there was one hour ago, but there is not anymore.

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Speaker 3: Having said that, like, I'm from Nashville, guys, y'all are

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Speaker 3: from Michigan. I don't like driving snow.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but I do.

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Speaker 3: Nick literally just walked outside and he was like it's

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Speaker 3: all on.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. It was kind of no pun intended the perfect

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Speaker 1: storm because so Roman has COVID, but he's has really

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Speaker 1: bad he said, some really bad breathing the last few

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Speaker 1: nights and it's kind of turning into that creepy, creepy cough,

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Speaker 1: the breathing strider, all that stuff. So this morning, of course,

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Speaker 1: you know Alan's in London. You know there's this snowstorm,

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Speaker 1: and with Nashville, it's like one to three inches. But

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Speaker 1: with one inch we really got I don't know, I'd say,

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Speaker 1: like what inch and a half? Maybe I could see

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Speaker 1: the grass still through the snow, So i don't know

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Speaker 1: if it counts right. Well, school's off, but I'm like this,

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Speaker 1: this breathing is is not is not great. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I just I've been down this road with the kids before.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, he needs a steroid and so, you know,

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Speaker 1: lo and behold them. I'm like I'm thinking, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: all right, I can't get into I'd rather take Alan's

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Speaker 1: truck because that's got the four wheel and it's got

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Speaker 1: the you know, all that stuff, the off terrain drive truck.

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Speaker 1: So but I mean, it's covered in snow and I've

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Speaker 1: just got you know, him, poor thing, just like struggling

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Speaker 1: to breathe and putting you know, change in the car

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Speaker 1: seat and putting it in there. And at first, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if this is a good idea at all,

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Speaker 1: because you know how that the subs don't look great.

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Speaker 1: But then all of a sudden we got back on

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Speaker 1: the roads. I'm like, oh, I'm from Michigan, Like I forget.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I forget you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 1: I got this, like I know how to do this.

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Speaker 1: And then when I got into the roads, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's totally fine. That's when I called you. I was like, girl, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're a Michigan ass. Doesn't get over here. Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: now I was like, okay, girl, I feel good about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm just making sure all is ago and they pre

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Speaker 1: salted for us. And so then when I got out there,

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, this is like I do think

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Speaker 1: it is precious. If you didn't grow up in this weather,

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Speaker 1: it's probably really overwhelming. But for us, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: have a January third birthday right in Michigan. December second. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like we're never going anywhere. But it's funny because Catherine,

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Speaker 1: So it's what roles can be so reversed on this

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Speaker 1: couch because when it's a thunderstorm, I mean tornado vibe.

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Speaker 1: Even if a little bit of thunder KB is like

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Speaker 1: everyone locked out. Like she's the girl on the plane

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Speaker 1: on Bridesmaids.

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Speaker 2: She's like, it's going down.

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Speaker 1: That's actually you get you on a plane. But that's

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Speaker 1: one thousand percent me on a plane. And now even worse, okay,

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Speaker 1: because of everything but you is just like it's because

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Speaker 1: you're just like lockdown Creamer, and I'm like Christen, it's

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Speaker 1: like five hours away, Like we're good. We ca'll put

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Speaker 1: a helmet on you and I will put you in

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Speaker 1: a safe room so fast. I have a bottle of distill.

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Speaker 1: And you're not really bad at that, right, No tornado

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Speaker 1: husband is like a tornado watch.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think for me though, the issue with this snow

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Speaker 3: is when I hear ice. Yeah, for sure, we have

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Speaker 3: a lot of ice storms here versus snow, and that's

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Speaker 3: where it's like you can't if you've got four wall drive,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't matter. And also to note, some roads aka

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Speaker 3: Brentwood and Franklin get pre salted and get plowed before

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Speaker 3: said smaller towns do, so that's also part of the Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The issue, well, we're happy to have you on Zoom

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Speaker 1: via satellite from your remote location, and the.

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Speaker 3: Really hiding out in my bedroom because all the kids

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Speaker 3: are running around and but I'm glad I'm here, guys. Yay.

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Speaker 1: I have to say I got to start with post chat,

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Speaker 1: but I would like to kick it off stuff. I

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Speaker 1: have to say, I after we posted the video, I

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Speaker 1: got sick to my stomach because I'm like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: I'm afraid to look at the comments because you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a very polarizing topic, some of the things that

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Speaker 1: we were talking about, i e. The vaccination stuff. But

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Speaker 1: is that, I e. Is that how you would use it?

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Speaker 1: I don't even know. We are really giant, so but

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Speaker 1: I was a few things that I just to recap

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Speaker 1: that episode a little bit that I found comforting and

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Speaker 1: what actually helped me this morning too, in the midst

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Speaker 1: of this perfect storm and him not being able to

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Speaker 1: breathe and literally the last two nights being on a

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Speaker 1: total of like two hours of sleep because I stare

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Speaker 1: at the monitor just being like, Kenny breathe. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: you're going to him like and seeing is that in

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Speaker 1: that moment, I probably would have gone to like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm so alone because Alan's in London and you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm dealing with sick you know, sick kids and whatever.

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Speaker 1: But knowing all the messages that I got about and

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Speaker 1: even you guys too, I mean, I'm sure you guys

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Speaker 1: got us some as well, but like just being like,

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Speaker 1: you're not We're not alone in any of this, and

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Speaker 1: the things that we and all the stuff that's on

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Speaker 1: our plate. It was just so refreshing. And then in

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Speaker 1: moments like today, I'm like, all right, like I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't feel alone in this moment. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: like I got this. I'm like rockstar, mom, let's go,

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Speaker 1: let's do this. Let's get there to the appointment and

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Speaker 1: you know, make sure he's okay. And so I just

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Speaker 1: there was a nice sense of like, yeah, we take

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Speaker 1: on a lot of stuff, but we're not alone, and

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Speaker 1: we're all in this together. And I think hearing from

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Speaker 1: everybody this week felt really nice to know, even though

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Speaker 1: I know we're all like with each other, but there's

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Speaker 1: a whole slew of moms out there that feel this

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Speaker 1: exact same way. I remember when you were talking last week,

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Speaker 1: thinking this is going to land in the hearts of

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Speaker 1: so many people, because I talked to friends at home

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Speaker 1: in Michigan and you know, girlfriends of mine in California,

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Speaker 1: and like, literally everyone feels these things down to the vaccination,

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Speaker 1: like all of it. I mean, it's there's no real

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Speaker 1: safe place we feel. We've created this incredible society where

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Speaker 1: we overshare and sometimes it works to our detriment, but

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Speaker 1: I feel like it can. It's just been so great

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Speaker 1: recently for to like kind of ground itself back to

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Speaker 1: like letting us feel like there's actually a community we're

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Speaker 1: all going through it. And it's interesting, is like, this

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Speaker 1: is the stuff that I normally wouldn't share because exactly

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Speaker 1: as a mom, like you just hold it all in.

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Speaker 1: So they do where I felt scared to when I

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Speaker 1: to share it. So I was like, oh, wait, no,

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Speaker 1: this is stuff that we can talk about. We can

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Speaker 1: share this. I can say I feel alone even in

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Speaker 1: a marriage, even though I'm not saying I feel alone

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Speaker 1: a within my marriage, you know, it's just the feeling

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Speaker 1: of it. So and I got a you know, a

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Speaker 1: listener DM she was like, you know, I can relate

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Speaker 1: to the lonely feeling as a divorce and remarried mom,

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Speaker 1: you know. So it's like there's I think that was

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Speaker 1: really nice. And also I've gotten some great feedback. I'm

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Speaker 1: following just the inserts on now Doctor Green Moom vaccine

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Speaker 1: friendly plan. So there's just a lot of people too

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Speaker 1: that have reached out with really good resources on both sides,

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Speaker 1: and ninety nine point nine percent of them were really

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Speaker 1: positive and very graceful. There was only like a one

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Speaker 1: percent word that were like, you're so terrible for sharing misinformation.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, I'm trying to get information. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: think you said it was miss but I think it

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Speaker 1: was just feel for information. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think I was reminded with this that, like people

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Speaker 3: can still have an open dialogue about things, like even

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Speaker 3: people that disagree.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: It was kind of refreshing. I'm like, wow, and I

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Speaker 3: texted you all last night. I was like, I'm loving

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Speaker 3: these responses on both sides, you know. And I think

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Speaker 3: I was reminded too that a lot of people don't

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Speaker 3: know what they want, don't know what they want to do,

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Speaker 3: just like I feel like we all kind of feel

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Speaker 3: like that, you know, we're kind of stuck in this

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Speaker 3: place of do we do it? Do we not? I

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Speaker 3: feel this way. I don't feel this way, you know.

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Speaker 3: And I just think it was refreshing to see that.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I had a text last night at twelve

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Speaker 3: thirty from a friend I haven't heard from from in years,

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Speaker 3: and she was like, tell Jana that I said, blah

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Speaker 3: blah blah blahlah, here's my story, you know, and it's

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Speaker 3: just it's good to hear people's stories you know, on

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Speaker 3: why they do vaccinate and why they may not or

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Speaker 3: why they're scared. You know, it was refreshing. I was

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Speaker 3: really happy to see the positive feedback from that, for sure.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I also think it's most like when

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Speaker 1: we do the live show, we openly share so much.

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Speaker 1: I think that's why we've enjoyed this format so much,

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Speaker 1: and what we get from the road when we're out

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Speaker 1: with people is that same feeling. And I think it's

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Speaker 1: just been really like, I will be really honest with

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Speaker 1: both of you. I was terrified to go to this format,

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Speaker 1: not because I don't love you desperately, but in our

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Speaker 1: little triangle of friendship, we are so unafraid to give

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Speaker 1: each other honest feedback or to like, you know, speak

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Speaker 1: life or to truth or whatever. But I got nervous

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Speaker 1: to open it up because I feel the anxiousness of

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Speaker 1: like the world's just ready to attack and for And

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Speaker 1: it's been really like I even said to you last night, Cat,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not reading the comments, like I

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Speaker 1: don't want to see it because it really does hurt

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Speaker 1: my feelings. People will hurt my feelings pretty easily, so

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Speaker 1: I guard myself. But it's been so incredible. It feels

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Speaker 1: so I don't know, it just feel so genuine, and

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Speaker 1: I think that's why we all get along. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like we get to plug into our community better

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Speaker 1: when we say the hard stuff because we're being honest.

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Speaker 3: I felt the opposite. I was really really excited to

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Speaker 3: do this and do it this way and get to

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Speaker 3: talk about this stuff. Like comments hurt my feelings also,

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Speaker 3: but I just feel so much.

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Speaker 2: More true to myself.

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Speaker 3: And fulfilled when we're able to get on here and

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Speaker 3: we're able to just talk and just like, you know,

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Speaker 3: just we don't know, we don't know what we're doing

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Speaker 3: half the time as moms, and we can just talk

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Speaker 3: and everybody can you know, give us feedback. I just

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Speaker 3: I love this format. I think it's been great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean so much so that I I'm calling

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Speaker 1: Katherine'm like, I know you're not a nurse, but okay,

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Speaker 1: so because he was having one hundred and five fevers,

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Speaker 1: I'm like calling her, I'm all right, so how many

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Speaker 1: hours in between can I because it's like you can

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Speaker 1: google it, but you know, it's like to go to

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Speaker 1: the people and we're glad that you guys are our

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Speaker 1: people listening. So it's right. We love you. We might

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Speaker 1: not have all the answers clearly or know the things,

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Speaker 1: but it is what. Thanks for listening, Thanks for being here,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for being here, Thanks for being a homie. Let's

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Speaker 1: unpin something. Oh, because it's been pinned a while. Catherine

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Speaker 1: and I have kind of sabotaged the host chat topic

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Speaker 1: the last few episodes, and you're just bursting out of

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Speaker 1: the shirt to tell us about your boobs. Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: barely bursting, So you guys, are you I might get

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Speaker 1: emotional talking about this, Well, it'd be three weeks in

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Speaker 1: a row of cry. Let's go for it, okay. So

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Speaker 1: I can feel the tears coming, Okay, bring it, let

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Speaker 1: it way. I feel so ridiculous, said it feel ridiculous. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I need to get it together. So did you tell

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Speaker 1: me to get it together last week when I was crying? No,

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Speaker 1: you said I wanted to get on my lap. I did, okay, So,

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Speaker 1: and ironically, my boobs are on my lap, so that

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Speaker 1: would be a good segue. So I was a late bloomer.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to take you back to a cold day

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Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety six, the back brace. Yeah, you guys,

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Speaker 1: like I want to, I do want a little framework care.

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Speaker 1: I did have a back brace in seventh grade Eden Inhaler,

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Speaker 1: life was not charming in middle school. I was a

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Speaker 1: late bloomer. I think because of the surgery. It was

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Speaker 1: a pretty massive surgery. It was a nine hour surgery.

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Speaker 1: They corrected my scoliosis. They put rods in my back.

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Speaker 1: Because of that, I think I menstruted later in life.

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Speaker 1: We are over sharing today unapologetically. When did what age

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Speaker 1: did you menstroy? Sixteen and a half? Okay, okay, So

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Speaker 1: I remember that because I remember thinking I don't actually

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Speaker 1: I'll say it. I remember being nervous that I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I had a serious boyfriend, and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't even think I can have sex all have a period.

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Speaker 1: Like I was so confused and scared, you know, which

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Speaker 1: is probably why no one should do that. Stay abstinate.

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Speaker 1: So I say all that because I didn't. Nothing really

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Speaker 1: came in for me until I was like nineteen. My

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Speaker 1: boobs didn't come in until I was nineteen, and they

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Speaker 1: came in like a dream. They were stunning. We have

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Speaker 1: lived such I mean, there's nobody more grateful for a

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Speaker 1: natural boob on this planet than me. They were like

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Speaker 1: solid C D cup held their own I mean we

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Speaker 1: were in backless shirts. We have lived strapless life together.

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Speaker 1: And then there was a baby, and then there was

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Speaker 1: another baby, and then the third baby at forty one

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Speaker 1: has really done a number on the girls. And so

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Speaker 1: when they are collected like they are today in the

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Speaker 1: right bra, they still hold their own abby use my code.

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Speaker 1: They're great bras. I actually wanted to know for real

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Speaker 1: if they were a fantastic Okay, but swimsuits have been hard.

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Speaker 1: You guys know, I love to style and I love

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Speaker 1: to create wardrobe, and I feel like I'm styling and

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Speaker 1: picking things around them now because I can't wear certain

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Speaker 1: kinds of tops. Finding a strappo sprawl has been a struggle.

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Speaker 1: And then can I ask where the tears? Like where Okay,

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Speaker 1: they're coming? So I have I have a hard time

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Speaker 1: electing for surgery. I think because of the surgeries that

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Speaker 1: I've had to have, Like one was a DNC the back,

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Speaker 1: you know, the spinal surgery, Like it just doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: great for me to choose to do surgery. But I

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Speaker 1: have really felt like I've stood in the mirror and

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Speaker 1: done what probably a lot of us do, which is

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Speaker 1: like pick them up and put them back in their place.

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Speaker 1: I don't have much of a torso, so they're now

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Speaker 1: eating away at another solid inch and a half of

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Speaker 1: that SpongeBob squarepant figure, you know, And I'm like, come on, ladies.

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Speaker 1: So I had this, like I have wanted to try

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Speaker 1: on the idea of perhaps getting a reduction and a lift.

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Speaker 1: Husband is wildly obsessed with my breasts, and so I

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Speaker 1: do think that's what we're saying, because this isn't coming

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Speaker 1: from anywhere other than me. Here's the tears. This is

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Speaker 1: so I feel like so silly. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: being ungrateful or something for this like beautiful, healthy body,

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Speaker 1: like they're healthy boobs. But like I'm so we were guys.

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Speaker 1: I feel like an idiot. We did this video. We

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Speaker 1: were on in the Bahamas, and the guys were like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this video walking on the beach. They

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Speaker 1: have this new song. It's beautiful, it's so special. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I have another wife and my duo, and

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Speaker 1: she's a quite a bit younger than me, seven or

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Speaker 1: eight years younger than me. She had our babies early.

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Speaker 1: She has these really great boobs, and I do a

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Speaker 1: really good job of not comparing myself. I mean, you're

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Speaker 1: my best friend and you're stunning, and I don't ever

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Speaker 1: compare me to you. I'm really good about this, but

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Speaker 1: for some reason that video and Preston would be just

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Speaker 1: absolutely embarrassed if he knew this, because I almost wanted

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Speaker 1: to be like, don't post it, because I just felt

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Speaker 1: so insecure in that video and that is not like me.

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Speaker 1: But I don't usually have boobs out either, as you know,

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Speaker 1: and it was the first time where I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't like I feel so silly. I just don't

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Speaker 1: like how I look, and it made me feel like

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Speaker 1: I didn't want him to post it. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, that's not fair because probably my boobs

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Speaker 1: are more relatable to ninety percent of the world. And again,

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Speaker 1: this is like feels like superficial or something to even

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Speaker 1: be upset about it. But for some reason, I'm really

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Speaker 1: struggling with even like going to get a consultation because

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm being ridiculous or like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I guess it is just like superficial is the word

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Speaker 1: I just keep coming back to. It feels like dumb

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Speaker 1: or something that it would even I think I feel

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Speaker 1: ungrateful to even consider doing something like that, so I

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Speaker 1: won't even go to a doctor. Why am I crying?

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Speaker 1: I think it's like mourning the loss of a body,

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Speaker 1: you know, like as moms, we've gotten to know our

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Speaker 1: bodies probably three or four times over, you know, like

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Speaker 1: every woman can pretty much agree with that, whether you're

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Speaker 1: a mom or not. Like the body that you know

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Speaker 1: in your hottest bar dancing days, you still don't have that.

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Speaker 1: And so I've really felt like I work my tail off,

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Speaker 1: I work out, I eat clean, and it's just like

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Speaker 1: the one thing that doesn't I don't know. I hope

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Speaker 1: people don't rip me apart for crying about this.

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Speaker 3: Well, first of all, your emotions are your emotions, So

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Speaker 3: no one can rip you apart for having emotions about

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Speaker 3: anything that makes you feel insecure or uncomfortable or anything.

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Speaker 3: So don't let that be a deterrent. But I mean

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Speaker 3: not to like interrupt you, but to say, you know, so,

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Speaker 3: why what is it that's holding like do you want

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Speaker 3: to have surgery?

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Speaker 2: Do you want to?

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Speaker 3: Or you're you're saying you're held back because you feel

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Speaker 3: like it's superficial.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I do think I'm superficial

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Speaker 1: for having fake thiss. No, I really don't. That's why

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Speaker 1: I'm like, and why is it so hard for me

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Speaker 1: to make this? I here's the other place I go to.

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Speaker 1: I'm forty three now, and if they feel like this now,

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Speaker 1: it's not like gravity is in my favor. As time

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Speaker 1: goes on. We've all seen our grandma's boobs when we

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Speaker 1: didn't want to when we were we did bless or seven.

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Speaker 1: So I think I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna I think

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Speaker 1: I'll get to a place where I'm going to go, gosh,

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Speaker 1: I wish I would have done that, you know, ten

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Speaker 1: years ago. And I also know we're done having babies,

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Speaker 1: and so like, this is the body I'm working with now,

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Speaker 1: and I don't. I do not want an implant. That's

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Speaker 1: nothing against anyone. I just I think because I already

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Speaker 1: have so many foreign things in my body, like the

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Speaker 1: rods and the wires and the like, I don't need

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Speaker 1: any of that. I just, for some reason, I just

360
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Speaker 1: feel this like immense amount of guilt for even wanting it. Why.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I think because I have a healthy body. Sure,

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Speaker 1: but you also if there's something that you would want

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Speaker 1: to do to. So I think it's I think this

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Speaker 1: is like twofold. The first thing is, as we're getting older,

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Speaker 1: like you said, our bodies are changing. I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: I haven't done botox in a year now. I've seen that.

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Speaker 1: I'm I can see my face is changing, ring goals,

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Speaker 1: I don't look the same like I did some of it.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I look better now that I'm thinking prettier,

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Speaker 1: but also there's other pieces of me that I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh gosh, And the other day I'm like, god, I

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Speaker 1: think I I think I need to make the decision

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Speaker 1: to do botox again because I just I just look old.

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Speaker 1: And so I've noticed I've started to talk down a

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Speaker 1: bit more to myself. But I'm also realizing we're just

376
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 1: getting older too, and yeah, we're just we're changing. And

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's necessarily and I'm not trying to

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Speaker 1: go like I don't want to be twenty again, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, I truly don't. I actually really love this

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Speaker 1: forty three year old body. I feel like it's stronger

381
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Speaker 1: than it's ever been. So that's why. But I thought

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00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: it was a good topic. I'm hoping there's some solidarity

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Speaker 1: and some of the women out there. But I also

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you have elected to get the surgery, and

385
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,400
Speaker 1: it was like not, I felt like I never saw

386
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 1: you struggle. And I'm like, ashhn't. Why can't I see

387
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 1: high as a kite on Easter post it Eastern Jana.

388
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 1: I wish we had a video of Eastern Janna. And

389
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Speaker 1: I'm really not trying to be over dramatic. That's like

390
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 1: I just I think because I have had friends that

391
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Speaker 1: have breast cancer and they've had to have these big surgeries,

392
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,880
Speaker 1: and I'm going, the girls are so healthy, and then

393
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,399
Speaker 1: is it this weird thing that society has put on

394
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Speaker 1: us that we have to look a certain way. But

395
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Speaker 1: I don't necessarily need them to be a certain cup

396
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,439
Speaker 1: size or anything. I would just love for them to,

397
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 1: you know, take a few steps up. I would love

398
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Speaker 1: to be able to get dressed and not you know.

399
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,639
Speaker 1: And I think there's I think that's an you know,

400
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 1: oh cat comment on this too. But I think it's

401
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 1: something that you have talked about for years now, Yes,

402
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,919
Speaker 1: for a lot of years. It's something that you go

403
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 1: back to. It's something that you have in so security about.

404
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 1: I don't find it superficial at all in wanting to

405
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 1: get a lift and so that you can have that confidence. Now,

406
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,199
Speaker 1: you don't need to get a lift to have the confidence, No,

407
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 1: because you're a confident person, you're a beautiful person. You

408
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 1: don't need that. But if it's something and if it's

409
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: something that you want to maybe for yourself, it's like,

410
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 1: that's okay. I don't know, kat, Yeah.

411
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Speaker 3: I mean this coming from a person who's who wanted

412
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Speaker 3: a boob job since I was sixteen, you know, because

413
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,439
Speaker 3: I don't have boobs, I had the opposite problem. You know,

414
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 3: I did go for a consultation back around the time

415
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: Jana got hers. It was around the same time I

416
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,440
Speaker 3: went for a consultation, and I ultimately decided it wasn't

417
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Speaker 3: for me. Not because I felt like it was superficial, Honestly,

418
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,439
Speaker 3: I just I didn't like the way I, you know,

419
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 3: tried it on. I didn't like the way it looked

420
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Speaker 3: on my body. I just think that had I liked

421
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Speaker 3: it and had it felt good, then I have, you know,

422
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 3: gone forward with it, Like I don't. I don't see

423
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 3: it as a superficial thing either, But your feelings are

424
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 3: warranted at the same time, if that's how you know

425
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 3: if that's how you're feeling, but maybe it would be

426
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 3: beneficial to go for a consultation and then see how

427
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 3: you feel. You know, maure, you like what it would

428
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 3: look like and.

429
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they have the three D so you can

430
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 1: really see what it looks like. My biggest regret with

431
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: my boobs is that I don't know if I solely

432
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 1: did it for me, okay, And I think that's what

433
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: I could say would be my biggest piece of advice

434
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: is it has to be one hundred percent for you,

435
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 1: you know, And like you said, he loves your boobs, right.

436
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 1: I was in a marriage that a husband was cheating

437
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: all the time, and I would see the women that

438
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 1: he was cheating with, and I'm like, I look nothing

439
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 1: like them, okay. And so when I was presented with

440
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: you know, I thought about it for a while, like

441
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: maybe if I had bigger boobs, he wouldn't cheat, or

442
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: he'd find me sexier or something like that. Now I

443
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: got to a place where I think it was for

444
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: me because I chose the doctor because I had a

445
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 1: couple of consultations I had won in Los Angeles and

446
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 1: I won't say the doctor, but it was it was

447
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: out in LA when my ex and I were living

448
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: out in LA and that was, you know, when we

449
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 1: were obviously trying to reconcile things. But I still was like,

450
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 1: maybe if I had bigger boobs and was like sexier

451
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: because mine as well, My boobs were always great and perky,

452
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: but after the two kids, they just sagged really bad

453
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 1: and so and certain things just didn't go back to

454
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: looking the same. And you know, yes, so people would

455
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 1: look at them and be like, oh my goodness, and

456
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 1: so I felt gross. And so when I went to

457
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: the LA doctor, he was like, you should have you

458
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: should get this this size and this is what it

459
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: should look like. And I'm like, no, those just look

460
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,239
Speaker 1: too big on me, don't I don't like the way

461
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: that looks. He's like, I promised you you're going to

462
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 1: want bigger, and I'm like, he's like every time someone

463
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 1: ever gets a boob job, they always say I wish

464
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: I would I wish I would have gone bigger, and

465
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can promise you. I'm not that girl.

466
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 1: Like I don't want big boobs. I just i'd like

467
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 1: him a little bigger. I'd like to be maybe a

468
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: sea or something. But I don't want to be like

469
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: a big, big c and that you're a tiny person too. Yeah,

470
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't I don't want to

471
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: do that. So that felt wrong to me. So I

472
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 1: decided on my doctor here, doctor Hunger, who I just

473
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: love so much. And he saw this, like he gave

474
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 1: me that option, but he's like, I think you should

475
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: go here, and it was like kind of the middle route,

476
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, yes, that looks supernatural, and that's

477
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:40,359
Speaker 1: but like a little something else, a little extra but

478
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: post so obviously I loved it. I had a lot

479
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: of fun with them post divorce, right because Mike never

480
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: actually got to feel them because we had gotten divorced,

481
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: like I found out about the him cheating again, so

482
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: like he didn't even get to see them, which was glorious,

483
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: you know. So they were not touched. They were fresh,

484
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 1: non touched boobs, and I and everyone knows I flaunted them.

485
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: I did. I took every bikini. As Alan likes to

486
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: just he was like in your thirsty hungry days. I

487
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 1: was like absolutely, I showed these bad boys off a

488
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: time or two. I mean, like some of these photos

489
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: I was like, babe, he's like hungry and I was

490
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: like I was starving for like attention, and it was

491
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: sad actually when I look back at it now. But

492
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: where I'm at now is I would actually like to

493
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: take out my implant and just lift them again. Are

494
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 1: we going to do it together? Because Alan's very much

495
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: like I don't. He's like, I love your boobs, He's

496
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: like you don't. And he doesn't like implants. He doesn't

497
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: like faking the fake stuff, you know. So he's very

498
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 1: He's not against me getting botox, but he doesn't want

499
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 1: me to get botox. He doesn't he doesn't like the implants,

500
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 1: he doesn't like I mean, he loves my boobs, but

501
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 1: like sure, if I was to get him again, he

502
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 1: would be like, take him out and I would just

503
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 1: do them do a lift. Yeah, Cat, I see you about.

504
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 3: The question though, rebuttal So then if you were taking

505
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 3: them out, are you taking them out for him or

506
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 3: are you taking them out for you?

507
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: So it would I've been thinking about it just in

508
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: general general with everything, and I don't know b I

509
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 1: all the symptoms of the breast implant. There's technically I

510
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: do have a foreign foreign object in my body that

511
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: can cause inflammation. That could but there's also studies on

512
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: the other side. I've heard both sides speak, you know,

513
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: and I've at the end of the day, you know,

514
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: I think I kind of just want it to be

515
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 1: more natural and not have an implant in there. So

516
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: when that time comes for me to take them out

517
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: and redo them again, I don't know if I don't

518
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: think i'd put them back in, But I don't know,

519
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, talk to me in

520
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: ten years when I decide to do that again.

521
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 3: So you would keep them for the next ten years

522
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 3: and then I'm.

523
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: Not going to take them out, like unless they're causing

524
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: me issues or something like that. But no, I would.

525
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 1: I would keep them in. But I think when it

526
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 1: comes to the point, I wouldn't reput another implant in.

527
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: But I I personally like, this is not for a

528
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: man or whatever. I did not like the feeling of

529
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 1: so I would have just regardless of a man. The

530
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 1: implant was, I think, not something that I would have

531
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. It wasn't one hundred percent for me,

532
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: got it. It was more myself, my insecurity and my

533
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: wanting to be like everybody else that you know, he

534
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: was with. So I think it just really hit me

535
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: when I because I usually don't do bikini pictures or

536
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 1: some suit pictures. And and again, like if I was

537
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: like I don't like that video, don't put it up,

538
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 1: they wouldn't put it up. But I was like, well,

539
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 1: this is I'm a relatable woman in the way that

540
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 1: like I don't have reast implants and I'm you know,

541
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,679
Speaker 1: forty three and I'm trying my best. But it was

542
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 1: the first time, like I love to style and wear

543
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 1: things and try new things, and I think that it

544
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: felt like I was like, I shouldn't award that, like

545
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,719
Speaker 1: it just I but there's no good way to manage

546
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: like a size D boob with no gravity. I think

547
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 1: if you're in the like my mom, she's openly talked

548
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: about if she had the income, she would want to

549
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: do a lift. And that's something where because it's she

550
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: doesn't you know again, you're older, you've had kids, You've

551
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: all I wasn't breastfed, but thanks mom, But noma kidding

552
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: at it either, but like you know what I mean,

553
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: Like it's just listen, I didn't recipe there. It's fine,

554
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 1: but my boos were huge. So anyways, but like you,

555
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 1: I think at that age, you know it's better to

556
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: do it now, if you're going to do it, then

557
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: that's where I'm at. Yeah, if you're going to go

558
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: down under and all that, I would lift them. I

559
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,199
Speaker 1: fully support you doing whatever you want to do for yourself. Sure,

560
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: and that is not as an intense as other surgeries. Yeah, yes, okay,

561
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: I don't know why. It has literally just brought me fan.

562
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: I've met him and he seems quite lovely and I

563
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: love him. He's fantastic. If you do do it, okay,

564
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 1: And I I want.

565
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 3: To kind of defend you, Kristen, in the sense that

566
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 3: there are not many women who would enjoy seeing themselves

567
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: on a video in a bikini. I just I want

568
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 3: to be very clear about that.

569
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 1: I mean most women. I don't like seeing myself in being.

570
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: Of women for whatever reason.

571
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 3: You're looking at your boobs, I'd be looking at something else.

572
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: I'm looking at my stomach.

573
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 2: I'm you know, just.

574
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: Keep them, like, give yourself some grace there for being

575
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 3: feeling that way, because I don't think I could name

576
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,199
Speaker 3: a woman who would one hundred percent just be like great, awesome,

577
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 3: so glad that's going on, you know, like that's a

578
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 3: normal feeling.

579
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I do. I think that's like the first time.

580
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, there's a couple of things that I'm

581
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: not super in love with, you know. But I also

582
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: go back to like this as the body that God

583
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,479
Speaker 1: gave me and blah blah blah and so. But like

584
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: it was the first time where I was like, I really,

585
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: that is really hitting somewhere. And I then I think

586
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: it's just the guilt and shame I put with it

587
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: that makes me feel so emotional. Yeah, but I mean

588
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: there's certain things too that you can't after a baby,

589
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: you know. Some I'd even talk Tom like, man, I'm

590
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: gonna get a mommy mommy talk or whatever, And now

591
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: I was like he was, I mean, he was very

592
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: against it because his buddy lost a wife to Sepsis

593
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 1: that from the surgery or whatever. But that's a very

594
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: invasive surgery. I don't even know why I wanted to do,

595
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: but I think just because I wanted to, well, there

596
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: is I was worried about maybe the if I could

597
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: get my body back in shape after three kids, and

598
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just wanted to have a flat stomach. Sorry,

599
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: I just like, you know, I just like this would

600
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: be great, you know. But then I was able to

601
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: find workouts and food and find out where where my

602
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: inflammation was coming from. And like, you know, now I

603
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: feel so much better. But you can't do that with

604
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 1: your boobs. I feel that's that's where you there's things

605
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: that you can No. I'm not saying that's everyone. There's

606
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 1: a cure all forever, but for a boobs you can't.

607
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: There's no there's nothing you can take. There's no exercise

608
00:29:51,960 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: you can do. There's no vampire you know exercises. Yeah, well,

609
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: I'm thankful I got to unpin it. I really just was.

610
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 1: I just needed your brains and your voice over it,

611
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: because I, for some reason, have just put myself in

612
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: this category of like, it's just being ridiculous. I think

613
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: you'll be so happy that you did it. I think

614
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: so too, And I don't know why I'm so stuck.

615
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: You shouldn't. I'm a pretty say some person, oh they're

616
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: going to do that, and I'm gonna be like, oh,

617
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: sign me up, let's do it till and they're going

618
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: to show you that three D yes because it isn't

619
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: truly even about how I look naked, it's just about dressing.

620
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm so tired of, you know, grabbing the girls and

621
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: putting them in the only bra that works and can't

622
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: do strapless and can't do this, and it's like, I

623
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: want to have more fun than that. I freaking enjoy

624
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: wardrobe too much to be styling around this. And I'm

625
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: also in the same breath so freaking grateful for a

626
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: healthy body that I just am like, Okay, well, then

627
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: maybe it's just what we do. We deal with Pamelin,

628
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: Like our good friend Pamelin says, we're not going out

629
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: without a fight. Amen to that. And ladies, have grace

630
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: for yourself. Yes, and if it's something that you want

631
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: to do for you, then police support it. Yeah, and

632
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: I'll drive you to the appointment. I might need you. Actually,

633
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 1: the medicine afterward is fun. You would video and send

634
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: it to line. I'm oh, man, sorry for the emotions ladies.

635
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: On that note, let's take a break. Okay, we got

636
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: a whine. Anybody who's got a whine about it?

637
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 3: I mean, I can go for it.

638
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 2: I love gat.

639
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: He's just like, let me just go back to my rolodex.

640
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,719
Speaker 3: But uh, y'all, I don't know why, Like we are

641
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 3: just like the emotional group man, and I've just two.

642
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 2: Weeks ago I was crying.

643
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 3: I was crying all last night, night through the night

644
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 3: to day, Like you.

645
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: Know, why don't you tell me?

646
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 3: Well, it's it seems silly, but like long story short,

647
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: you know, Amy does all start cheer. It's really busy

648
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 3: part of the season, and she's just had a coach

649
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 3: that's just been really really like picking on her all season.

650
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 3: And so last night at practice, this coach calls me

651
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,959
Speaker 3: in and wants to have a talk with us. So

652
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 3: we have a talk, and it's just it's I have

653
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 3: to say, it is so frustrating to me that I

654
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 3: cry when I'm frustrated. So like I'm frustrated he's talking

655
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 3: to me. I'm frustrated with him and frustrated with her,

656
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 3: and I like want to just want to cry, and

657
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 3: she's crying and I'm just like mad at myself. So

658
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 3: I just was really upset last night and had a

659
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 3: conversation with some other coaches. It's just it's a balance

660
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 3: because it's you know, in sports now, it's just very

661
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 3: like you want to push these kids to be better athletes,

662
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 3: but like I'm like, what are we doing like at

663
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 3: the expense of her mental health? Like, is she's not

664
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: having fun? Anymore. This isn't okay, you know, like she's

665
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 3: walking out in tears and we're spending all this time

666
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 3: doing it. So it's more just like the emotional like

667
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,719
Speaker 3: what is right? Just kind of back to like what

668
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 3: we talked about last week, what is right? What is wrong?

669
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 3: Is it okay for me to let them push her

670
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 3: this hard and be picking on her the whole time?

671
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 3: Is it not okay? Like I'm her mother, I have

672
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 3: to make that decision, you know. So it's just all

673
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 3: that and just going through the emotions of that, and

674
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 3: I just couldn't stop crying last night.

675
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: Does she want to cheer anymore?

676
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 3: So I told her last night, I was like, we

677
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 3: can be done to night, Like I will call them

678
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 3: to night and say we are not showing up tomorrow,

679
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 3: Like this isn't worth it. I give you permission to

680
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 3: do whatever, because I'm like, you have to pay money

681
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 3: if you quit, and like all the things, I'm like,

682
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: I don't, yeah, Like because it's a contract, it's a deal.

683
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 3: You are putting teams out, like we have a big

684
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 3: comp coming up, and you know she's on two teams,

685
00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 3: you know all that. So I was like, this is

686
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 3: your option. So last night. I mean, she just was

687
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 3: emotionally exhausted. She's crying, and it's just like, what do

688
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: you want? And she was like, I just want to

689
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 3: love it again, and I just want him to be

690
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 3: nicer to me, you know, And so I was like, okay,

691
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 3: Like that's then she's like, but I don't want to quit.

692
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to quit on the team. So I don't.

693
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 3: It's like, okay. So then I talked to some other

694
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 3: coaches today and you know, we just kind of talked

695
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 3: through it and the emotions of that, and like, you know,

696
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 3: going back to the fact that she's a thirteen year

697
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 3: old girl who's grown probably six inches in the last

698
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 3: you know, she used to be tiny, and so she's

699
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 3: just grown a lot, and like what does that mean

700
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 3: for her mental health? Because she feels like she's big now,

701
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,800
Speaker 3: you know, and that's a heart That's what gets me crying,

702
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 3: is like she feels like she's too big and no

703
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 3: one's putting that in her head other than people have

704
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 3: to lift her up. So when they drop her, that

705
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 3: just goes immediately to her head. I'm too big, I'm

706
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 3: too fat, I'm you know this, And so that's just

707
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 3: been a struggle. That's been a real struggle with a

708
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 3: middle school girl feeling that when her body is perfectly

709
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: normal and perfectly healthy. And so it's just been I

710
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:07,959
Speaker 3: don't know, it's been a struggle over here.

711
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: And that's it. That's a fine line to walk too,

712
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 1: because you know, if if she's feeling that on the

713
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: body image, it's like, all right, where is she going

714
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: to now put that? Is that going to go into

715
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: her not eating as much? Is that going to go

716
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 1: into an eating disorder or not to like you know,

717
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:21,479
Speaker 1: but I'm sure you've.

718
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 2: Thought about it.

719
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: That's exactly where my head is. Then I'm you know,

720
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 3: there are two people that I know who are battling that,

721
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 3: who are cheerleaders, who are flyers, who are in that

722
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 3: same position, and I'm just like, at what you know,

723
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 3: it's just walking that line and not letting it get

724
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 3: to that point and keeping an eye on that and

725
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 3: being careful with that.

726
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: And it's such a fine line too when it comes

727
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: to you want them. You want the coaches to be tough, right,

728
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: because you don't want just the coach to be oh, yeah,

729
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 1: good job when it wasn't good or there wasn't You

730
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: want them to have growth and you know, learn and

731
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: do better. But if what is it that is causing

732
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 1: the disconnect because I know she can take criticism or

733
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: or not criticism, but like constructive criticism.

734
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 3: I'll say, yeah, I mean, and that's what's interesting, Like

735
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 3: her other coaches are tough on her also, but this

736
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 3: is a new coach and he comes from a different

737
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 3: gem that is you know, huge Jim, and like they

738
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 3: win and they win and they win, and he has

739
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 3: acknowledged that he is harder on her the other than

740
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 3: a lot of the other girls on the team. His

741
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 3: reasoning being that he sees something in her that he

742
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 3: knows she can be an amazing athlete and that she

743
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 3: can get to these higher levels. But like I explained

744
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 3: to him and to the other coaches, I was like,

745
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 3: but if he pushes her away, she's never going to

746
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 3: get there. So there has to be this balance of

747
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: you know, it's a team sport. It can't all be

748
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 3: her fault, you know, it can't be. It's just it's

749
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 3: a balance and figuring that out. And it's just been

750
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 3: And it's funny. I've been watching a lot of coaches

751
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 3: things lately and how sports are done now and how

752
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 3: you know, nothing's fun anymore.

753
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

754
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: Serious, Yeah, I.

755
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: Feel like we I even remember feeling the pressure. Like

756
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: love was really good at gymnastics when she was little,

757
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 1: like three four, and they were like she could be,

758
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: you know, on team by December and I and I

759
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 1: and she started to not love it because they were

760
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 1: just pushing her. She was like four five years old.

761
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is ridiculous. But when we were young,

762
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: it was like you could try a sport for a

763
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: little bit, see if you liked it. If it wasn't

764
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,280
Speaker 1: your jami quit, you know, you move along. But now

765
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: I feel like it's almost like you have to figure

766
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: out what your kids are good at by like age four,

767
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,839
Speaker 1: and because if you try to put them in, Like

768
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: when I was ten or eleven, I could try a

769
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,280
Speaker 1: new sport if you're ten or eleven, Now new sports

770
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: are really not for you. You're behind, and that is

771
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: really unfair to children who are learning their bodies, learning

772
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: their emotions, learning their strengths. Like so we ended up

773
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: pulling her out of gymnastics and putting her back in.

774
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: Now she's in cheer and she loves it, but she's

775
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: in a really sweet little program that's really about praying

776
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 1: them in. They pray them in, they pray them out.

777
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: It's about their strengths. But I can't imagine the level

778
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: that y'all are at and like the pressure that comes

779
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: with it. It's also not fair and it's not It doesn't.

780
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is the word I'm looking for,

781
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: but it isn't. It isn't equal to their age and

782
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 1: their growth. The amount of pressure that we're putting on them.

783
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: This is like things that like master athletes are hearing

784
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 1: and doing, and instead of coaching some good out of them,

785
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: they'll coach them right out of a sport. Like I

786
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,800
Speaker 1: my thing for love is fall in love with the sport,

787
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: keep loving the sport, and keep learning how strong you are.

788
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: And the minute those things fall away, we're out. Because

789
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: it's just an unrealistic pressure for the age group of

790
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 1: these roles.

791
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 3: And well, on the other part of that is, you know,

792
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 3: all the athletes are different, and I understand that that

793
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 3: is a struggle for coaches because they have to figure

794
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 3: out how to coach pretty much differently. You know, like

795
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 3: some pressures are great for her, like if you tell

796
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 3: her I want you to have this by blah blah blah,

797
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 3: like she'll hon in, but if you humiliate her in

798
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 3: a practice in the middle of everybody, she's going to

799
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 3: shut down and stop listening to you.

800
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,320
Speaker 2: And then that's where they get.

801
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 3: Frustrated because it's like she's not listening or she's not

802
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 3: making the changes, you know. So it's just it's a balance.

803
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 3: And every child is so different, and I understand they're

804
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 3: trying to get these athletes. They're pushing them so they

805
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 3: can compete with the other ones because they are starting

806
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 3: so young, you know, take it not even cheer, but

807
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,280
Speaker 3: like look at baseball, especially baseball is a big one.

808
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 3: They're doing baseball year round now, and by the time

809
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 3: you get to middle school, you're not making that middle

810
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 3: school team if you haven't played since.

811
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 2: So coaches are.

812
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,399
Speaker 3: Pushing them to prepare them for that, to get them there.

813
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 3: But at what expense, I don't know. It's just it's

814
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 3: a it's a hard balance now for sure.

815
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: You're also seeing an increase in injury in young people

816
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: too because of this, Like we're pushing these teenagers specifically

817
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: to lift more and to do more, and their bones,

818
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: their growing bodies can't support, like physically they can't support

819
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: these workouts and these expectations that people are putting on

820
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 1: them and they're getting injured.

821
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean my son has had a stress fracture

822
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 3: in his back from lifting at the high school for

823
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 3: football for months. I mean he's out again for another

824
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 3: three months.

825
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I mean.

826
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: It's yeah, I think that. Yeah, it's hard.

827
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 3: It's it's just a balance. Like we definitely are athletes

828
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 3: and and a lot of the great things they learned

829
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 3: from that, a lot of great things they learn from

830
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 3: these coaches, you know. And the adversity that she'll go

831
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 3: through with this even and having to work through this

832
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 3: and work through a coach that they just butt heads,

833
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 3: you know, I do think is good for them, but

834
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 3: it's hard for the mama.

835
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 1: I also think it's where they're at to with other

836
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: things going on in their life. Like Kat you know,

837
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 1: wanted she offered for Jolie to try out for the

838
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: travel softball team because that's something that she has really found,

839
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 1: something that is you know that she's good at right,

840
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: She's so she's truly like softball. She ended up having

841
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: the flu, so she couldn't go, But there was a

842
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: piece of me that I wasn't that upset with it

843
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: because where Jolie's at right now, her confidence is so

844
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: hit from the dyslexia that right now I just need

845
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 1: to build her up so much. And if if that,

846
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: you know, if she didn't get it, which she probably

847
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: wouldn't have because she's not at the left because she

848
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: hasn't done you know, she's just done wreck and there's

849
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 1: these people have been doing travel for since they were

850
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: at four or whatever it is. Yeah, so it's like,

851
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: I mean, she probably wouldn't have really made it, but

852
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 1: like and I wanted that experience for because I think

853
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 1: this is something that she can really do great in.

854
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 1: But I'm almost okay that she didn't this year just

855
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: because right now, like I need, I need to build

856
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: that confidence her because it is it has rocked her

857
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,439
Speaker 1: this year. I mean, we started off the year because

858
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: we kind of knew the dyslexia talk started in first grade.

859
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: I kind of started to notice it a little bit again,

860
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 1: knew nothing about it. And then when this her third

861
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: grade teacher came to one of her softball games and

862
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: she's like, hey, do you have She's like, can I

863
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: talk to you? You know, She's like she's really really

864
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: down on herself and just saying she's stupid and she's,

865
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: you know, the dumbest kid in class and she can't read.

866
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: She's like she has out. I'm like what I mean,

867
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 1: I'm like bawling at her softball game, you know, like

868
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: just hearing like my daughter, Like no, she's so light

869
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: and happy and you know, positive, and she she knows

870
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 1: she's enough. Like we've got the sign on her door

871
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 1: that she leaves and she leaves the room like I'm

872
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: Jolie Ray, I'm enough and I'm smart and brave and

873
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: so this, you know not and then working through all

874
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: this now her third grade and then you know, getting

875
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: the final diagnosis. But you know, she's like, you know,

876
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: am I you know, am my special needs? Like she

877
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: says all these things that she's you know, that she's dumb.

878
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: And so it's now you know, she's working with a therapist.

879
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: So I'm like I in this stage of life, like

880
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: I'm almost glad because I'm like, right now, it's like

881
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: I don't think she could handle a tough coach at

882
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: this moment, Like we gotta we got to build her

883
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: up and encourage her. And then you know, but then

884
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 1: I also think that tough coaching is really important too,

885
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 1: so like bring that in when the season is a

886
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: little bit lighter on other things of life, because these

887
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: kids are just being thrown things at such a young

888
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: age too, and feelings and all of it, you know.

889
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate to take that about Jolie. I do

890
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 3: think too. When she is ready for that and she

891
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,919
Speaker 3: does go to that point, that's where parenting becomes really

892
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 3: important and paying attention and being their advocate. Yeah, And

893
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 3: that's kind of why I talked, you know, today to

894
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: some other coaches because I was like, you know, as

895
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 3: her mother, like I have to watch out for her

896
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 3: mental health, you know, And that's just where it becomes

897
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,280
Speaker 3: really important. And some coaches that push them they'll connect

898
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 3: with and some push coaches that push them they won't

899
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 3: and they'll shut down and it may make you know,

900
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 3: And so it's just really important I think for parents

901
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 3: to stay involved, be there. That's why I like to

902
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 3: be there as much as I possibly can so I

903
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 3: can see it. I can watch it and see how

904
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 3: they're affected by it.

905
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. And it's just such a fine line too. Because

906
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: I was talking to you, Kat, I'm like, you know,

907
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: she when she strikes out it's like, you know, she's

908
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 1: crying and I'm like, Jolie, no, no cry like you

909
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like you, it's like she just

910
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: takes it on, like she's now dumb and a bad player.

911
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 1: It's like no, like you know. So it's so hard.

912
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: It's like parenting it's just once third grade hit man.

913
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: It's really just emotional skyrocketed, you know, and trying to

914
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 1: find that balance of like life is going to be tough.

915
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 1: But we got to build the confidence, you know, and you, Catherine,

916
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 1: you're doing a great job, you know without that, I mean,

917
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: like you said, being her advocate and that's the hugest thing.

918
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: The best thing we can do is be their advocate

919
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: and be there for them. And yeah, I think your

920
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 1: tears are fair, and you're a good mom and you

921
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:53,240
Speaker 1: love hard.

922
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: You're sweet.

923
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 3: I literally was on the phone. I was like, I'm sorry,

924
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 3: I'm getting emotional, and then I told him, she goes.

925
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 2: You cried on the phone.

926
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 3: Okay, listen, get out.

927
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 1: I don't need my client berating me because I'm trying

928
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 1: to talk to it. Yeah. Hard, it is hard, so hard, exhausting,

929
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: and parenting ourselves is hard. To reparenting the three of

930
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 1: us are busy doing a.

931
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 3: Lot of that grace for all of us.

932
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 2: Guys.

933
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: That's right, let's take a break. You know, I gotta

934
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: be honest. I I don't really have a headline that

935
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: is really grabbing. I was like, I'm gonna go with

936
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 1: us weekly check out some headlines. But well, there's an

937
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: asteroid coming for us. If we needed more lighter lighter

938
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 1: did you see this? Where'spent affleic when we need them?

939
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I feel like I was

940
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: going to sing in arms of angel wrong movie. I

941
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: don't know the three point one percent chance there's that

942
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 1: you're saying there's a chance. So you say there's a chance,

943
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I don't need

944
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,399
Speaker 1: an asteroid. Usually I've got the news on the morning,

945
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 1: and I did not hear about an asteroid. What channelane

946
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: it's tracking that it would hit in eight years, I believe,

947
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 1: And what can't we divert and do what? Literally Armageddon

948
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 1: did get the plane? I know for this oil dig it? Well,

949
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 1: I hadn't blow it up, guys, come on, I did

950
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: have a really so my husband is an honorary Guardian

951
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 1: of the Galaxy through the space Force of the United

952
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: States Space Force and I can't say that usually without laughing,

953
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: and he gets really angry at me. And so I

954
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 1: was like, well, this is where your side hustle comes in.

955
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: Break up the asteroid there, Preston, I don't know. Apparently

956
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 1: that's coming. They said that we will see it and

957
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,760
Speaker 1: then it will disappear for our view for four years,

958
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 1: and then when it comes back, we'll have to make

959
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 1: bigger decisions.

960
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 3: I feel like all the headlines lately had just been

961
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 3: playing crashes, like how are y'all feeling about getting on plane?

962
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 1: Well, we know how channel feels. It's literally my worst nightmare.

963
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just it's everywhere right now. I feel

964
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,439
Speaker 3: like every headline now, I'm like, okay, and we had.

965
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 1: An upside down Delta. Did you see that?

966
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so bizarre.

967
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,959
Speaker 1: I kind of want a hermit in my house even more.

968
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

969
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 3: Same.

970
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 1: I will say this, I flew right after the tragedy

971
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: over DC. I flew pretty quickly after that, actually, and

972
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: I feel like there is a sweet day. I did

973
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: fly the next day. Yeah, yeah, because I texted you.

974
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's right you okay? Are you still going?

975
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 2: Yeah?

976
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: And I will say there is a Really there's something

977
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 1: about listen, no tragedy, it's always horrible. There's something about

978
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: humanity out of that though that I remember, like nine

979
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: to twelve, right the day after nine to eleven, we

980
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,880
Speaker 1: were different people together, we cared differently about each other,

981
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: we were compassionate. I felt that a little bit of

982
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 1: that even in the airline industry the next day. So,

983
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 1: for what it's worth, I think it's everyone's just being

984
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 1: kinder and sweeter and more tender with each other. And

985
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 1: you know, there was several announcements made like it is

986
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 1: our dedication to get you to your next place, like

987
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:59,399
Speaker 1: very you know is safe and comfortable. And I will

988
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: say I used to always be very annoyed of people

989
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 1: that clapped on a plane. I'm going to clap at

990
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: every landing. Now you're the clapper. I'm going to be

991
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 1: the clapper. Three one thousand percent happening, Like, without a

992
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 1: shadow of doubt, I'm clapping. I might even give a standing.

993
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,879
Speaker 1: Oh mammy, can't do that. Please stay in. I must

994
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 1: stay locked in. Okay, let's take a break and then

995
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: get I guys, I have to pee. I can't even think.

996
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 3: What just happened?

997
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 1: Am I going to get just absolutely annihilated from crying

998
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 1: about that.

999
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,399
Speaker 3: That's why I also kind of went back to, like, look,

1000
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 3: no women feel good about themselves in bikinis.

1001
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 2: Let's just be real. I want to.

1002
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 1: I don't want to just get ripped apart on top

1003
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 1: of it. I don't know why it's so emotional to me,

1004
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,439
Speaker 1: but it is, and I can't help it. It makes

1005
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: me want to cry time. So whatever it's hitting.

1006
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 3: Oh, I just cry.

1007
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 1: I've cried a lot. I've been crying over.

1008
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 3: Maybe that's about getting old, I think too.

1009
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: It's probably mourning in the loss of like an era.

1010
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 1: It is. Acceptance of getting older is probably a piece

1011
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 1: of that too, Like they aren't going to go back

1012
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 1: to where they were, Like they just aren't, and I'm not.

1013
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 1: And all of those things are okay, And it's also

1014
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 1: tricky to navigate, all right. So to close out the show,

1015
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: our narrators here we've got listener advice. Here we go, Brittany. Hi,

1016
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six from Glasgow. Oh hey girl, I could

1017
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 1: do your impersonation, but I can't. And okay, So I'm

1018
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: twenty six from Glasgow and getting married this year to

1019
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: my boyfriend of seven years. We are just engaged in December,

1020
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: but already booked our wedding for this September. Grat's Girl, Well,

1021
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: there is a lot to plan. The most stressful thing

1022
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: so far we can't agree on is the guest list.

1023
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: Oh ohway, oh boy. We were having a small ceremony

1024
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: of fifty people and then fifty evening guests. I have

1025
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: a really big family, whereas he has a large group

1026
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: of close friends. We are trying to make it fair

1027
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 1: by doing twenty five each, but I am finding it

1028
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 1: super difficult because so many of my family are not

1029
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 1: on the list. I have cut all extended family, but

1030
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 1: I don't have my aunts or uncles on my dad's side,

1031
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 1: and I am stressed in case they feel upset or

1032
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: annoyed about this. Any advice on the best way to

1033
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 1: do the guest list to make it fair and keep

1034
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:35,240
Speaker 1: people somewhat happy. I have so much to say on this, Brittany,

1035
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 1: first and foremost, congrats. Second thing, we had a huge

1036
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 1: thing with my ex and I. I won't say which

1037
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 1: which marriage, but Jo and Kata my cat, did like

1038
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: that one. But it was very important to me because

1039
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: I was byng for the wedding that it was a

1040
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: small wedding and at the end of the day, it

1041
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 1: should just be about the people that you you would

1042
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 1: be upset that wasn't there, right, Like, if you had

1043
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 1: your wedding, it is who would you be most upset

1044
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 1: about that wasn't there on your big day, Not if

1045
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 1: they would be upset, but if you would be upset

1046
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 1: that they weren't there. And so we made a list

1047
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: of those people and the family members, and there were

1048
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,879
Speaker 1: some on there. There were cousins that unfortunately didn't make

1049
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: the list that I would have loved to invited them.

1050
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, we weren't doing

1051
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 1: Actually no we did. We did first cousins, but second

1052
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: cousins and stuff like that, we just didn't. We didn't

1053
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 1: do that. I'm you know again, who who was going

1054
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: to be? Who we wanted to be at that wedding, right,

1055
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 1: And so his side of the family got so upset

1056
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: that we did not invite the cousins of his uncle

1057
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: that he barely really even knew. And then the mom

1058
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'll pay, and I'm like, it's not

1059
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: about you paying for them, like it's actually has nothing

1060
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: to do about that. Well, first of all, it's not

1061
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: just about paying for just their food. It's the extra

1062
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 1: table plates and the chairs and the this, that and

1063
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: the other. I'm like, there's and at the end of

1064
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: the day, it's also it's not your wedding, mother in law, like,

1065
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 1: it's it's our wedding. And he barely knows them. You're

1066
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 1: just doing it because and there were step cousins too.

1067
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: That was the whole other thing. It was they were

1068
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 1: like step cousins. They weren't even first cousins, and and

1069
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: like he didn't want them there, but the mom was like,

1070
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 1: I'll pay for it, and I'm like no, And we

1071
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 1: got into this huge thing. His uncle actually stopped talking

1072
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: to him for a while because and his uncle chose

1073
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 1: not to come to the wedding, the one uncle that

1074
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 1: like he really wanted there. And I'm like, because you

1075
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 1: wanted your the step cousins to come from your wife

1076
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: And it was all about his new wife. It's kids

1077
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,839
Speaker 1: and like I've never met them, you know what I mean,

1078
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: And it like why why? And he them like a

1079
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 1: couple times, I was like this is insane. So I

1080
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 1: think my only advice to you, Brittany is you guys,

1081
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 1: sit down, don't worry about other people's feelings. At the

1082
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 1: end of the day, this is your big day, obvious people.

1083
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:19,360
Speaker 1: Most people will understand that. You know, weddings are expensive

1084
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: and you can't invite everyone, and if you could invite everyone,

1085
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 1: you would, But at the end of the day, you

1086
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,760
Speaker 1: have to just invite the people that you would truly

1087
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: be so heartbroken are not there. But not because they

1088
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 1: would be heartbroken, because you would be heartbroken. That's all

1089
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I like it. Former wedding planner here and

1090
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 1: two time wedding champ my own personal journey. I agree.

1091
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: I also think people spend a lot of time focusing

1092
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 1: on a wedding instead of focusing on a marriage. So

1093
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 1: I would encourage you to get on the same page

1094
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 1: and really pick up a copy of mel Robbin's Let

1095
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 1: Them book and just get through the first fifty pages

1096
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,839
Speaker 1: at a minimum. I agree with everything, Janie. I think

1097
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: that the day goes by too quick. You don't need

1098
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 1: to be meeting anybody the first time the day of

1099
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: your wedding, and it's not about anybody else's day but you.

1100
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: It's that they're going to be upset. Yes, Kat, disagree

1101
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 1: with us, Go for it, girl.

1102
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily disagree.

1103
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 3: I had the same situation with my wedding in the

1104
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 3: sense that my in laws wanted a lot of extended

1105
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 3: family that I didn't necessarily agree with. But I just

1106
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 3: kind of let it. For me, I was just kind

1107
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 3: of like, okay, whatever, if it's important to y'all, Like

1108
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,040
Speaker 3: I'll just cut over here on my family and y'all

1109
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 3: can have it. It was kind of more I didn't

1110
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 3: want to just fight the battle. And I look back

1111
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know, if it meant something to them.

1112
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 3: I don't really remember the day that much. I don't

1113
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 3: really remember those specific people that like we thought about inviting.

1114
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,799
Speaker 3: So to me, it was like not that big of

1115
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 3: a deal. But the location wasn't affected. The seats necessarily

1116
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 3: weren't affected. You know, you might pick a place that

1117
00:54:57,719 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 3: you have to add, you know, there's a lot of

1118
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 3: that goes int to that. So to me, I was like,

1119
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 3: I can invite less people on my end for them

1120
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 3: to have more money or more people, and it's fine.

1121
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 3: So I just think it's what's comfortable for you, Brittany

1122
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 3: and for your fiance and whatever sits right with both

1123
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 3: of y'all.

1124
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can also have an A list and a

1125
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: B list, and as people can't for some reason make

1126
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 1: it off the A list, then you can start incorporating

1127
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 1: other people if that's helpful, right exactly.

1128
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:26,560
Speaker 3: I do agree with you, Kristin though you don't really

1129
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 3: need to be meeting anyone for the first time at

1130
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,960
Speaker 3: your wedding, like that's just odd.

1131
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I've had that from experience. A lot of

1132
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: it just streusses people out. It's not fair, Yeah, it's not.

1133
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: It's a very intimate, personal, sacred place and it needs

1134
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: to be about the people that you want there, not

1135
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: the people your mom and dad used to bowl with

1136
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 1: on Wednesday nights. And I would too not look at

1137
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 1: it as like more more friends verus family or more

1138
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,919
Speaker 1: family verse friends. It's true, I mean, because my wedding,

1139
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 1: it's I had more friends than I had family. And

1140
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: that's sure what. I've loved my aunts and uncles to come, absolutely,

1141
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, I'm sorry, I

1142
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:07,280
Speaker 1: would rather have my best friends there at the wedding

1143
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 1: that has been you know, in the making for for years,

1144
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 1: and the right one, you know, And they went to

1145
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 1: the other ones, but this one was like I really

1146
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 1: just needed my bestie is there, you know, and just

1147
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 1: the mom and dad. That's it, you know everybody else.

1148
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 1: I loved you and I would have loved but again,

1149
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: paying for it and it's expensive, it's a lot. Also

1150
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 1: encouraging Brittany to Elope if needed, always an option. Yeah,

1151
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 1: you know, I saw always say that, but I'm really

1152
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,839
Speaker 1: glad I didn't Elope with Alan. Oh I am glad

1153
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: you didn't either. Hey, I would I sat that special

1154
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 1: time with even if the even even though it was

1155
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: so little, I still really cherished the walk and having

1156
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 1: you guys there, oh for sure. But I was like Elope, Yeah, no,

1157
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 1: I do feel like too. There's always the option of

1158
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 1: like a far away wedding or a very very teeny

1159
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 1: tiny like just bring it down to parents if needed,

1160
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: or like a couple of best friends. Like sometimes like

1161
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: the first ring out of the audience becomes like you

1162
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 1: feel like it has to be all or nothing. So

1163
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: maybe we don't need to get bigger, Maybe we need

1164
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 1: to get smaller, Brittany, just try that on too and

1165
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 1: see if that helps. Well. Cat on the field, glad

1166
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:14,959
Speaker 1: to have you have you out there.

1167
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:16,520
Speaker 2: I'll fetch you out tomorrow.

1168
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 1: Patching in live. Okay, Well, thanks for holding me and

1169
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:28,120
Speaker 1: my boobs and supporting me and my always lift you up.

1170
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 1: I God, someone is that. I know We're gonna lift

1171
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:37,000
Speaker 1: you up. Girlfriend, all all right there with you, all right,

1172
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: love you, love you, Bye bye