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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast?

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Speaker 2: Fine Elvis.

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Speaker 3: Fifteen minute morning show.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so at this point do I just decorate for Christmas?

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Speaker 3: Or oh? Do I put Halloween crap up?

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Speaker 4: Christmas?

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Speaker 3: Thank you?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you'd be stupid to put Halloween. It's still days away.

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Speaker 6: Wait, but you should put a pumpkin outside at least,

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Speaker 6: Like my kids said to me, you know what, if

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Speaker 6: there's no Halloween decorations, I'm not trick or treating there

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Speaker 6: because they don't like Halloween.

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Speaker 4: Oh isn't that like right perfect for you. You can

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Speaker 4: keep all the candy and you don't have to worry

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Speaker 4: about it.

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Speaker 6: I want to give it out. I have so much

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Speaker 6: that I've hoarded from this place. I need to get

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Speaker 6: rid of it. You know, it's crazy. Growing up in Brooklyn,

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Speaker 6: there was one house on my block that actually took

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Speaker 6: the time and decorated for Thanksgiving. And how did they

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Speaker 6: do that?

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Speaker 7: Cornucopia cornucopias and eves and pictures of turkeys.

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Speaker 3: They had an inflatable with Pilgrims.

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Speaker 6: So whatever, parents, My parents used to decorate for Thanksgiving

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Speaker 6: like on the house.

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Speaker 3: But I don't see it much. I haven't seen it

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Speaker 3: since I was living there.

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Speaker 8: Just a big inflatable turkey. That's I've seen that, but

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Speaker 8: that's yeah.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and all the stuff that you made in school,

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Speaker 6: Like I had a Nina, a Pinta and a Santa

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Speaker 6: Maria and my freaking turkey hand hand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, every family's got.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the turkey hand in Santa Maria. That's for Columbus Day.

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Speaker 2: I think you have the mayflower, wouldn't you? Maybe I

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Speaker 2: did some ship that I made.

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Speaker 8: I would, wait, I would I didn't want to say anything.

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Speaker 5: I was like, let me not.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 8: I feel like my a lot of my Halloween decorations

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Speaker 8: I leave up, and I just so I I have

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Speaker 8: a lot of pumpkins and stuff like that all over

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Speaker 8: the place, and a lot of them I can just

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Speaker 8: take away the actual scary part and keep and like

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Speaker 8: I have this one gray pumpkin that's a ceramic and

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Speaker 8: on the front of the pumpkin it says haunted.

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Speaker 5: But when you turn the pumpkin around, it's very Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: Leave it up.

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Speaker 6: I do the same thing. You can leave up the

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Speaker 6: scarecrows because they're just kind of like, hey, they're not

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Speaker 6: you know, they're not necessarily scary. They're just right, Yeah,

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Speaker 6: although I do the moment the no head I take away.

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, one, can't you just put a head on it?

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Speaker 6: Then I lost the head, so I just hang them

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Speaker 6: upside down from my lamp post.

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Speaker 1: Welcome Garrett.

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Speaker 3: Hello, we're just talking about Oh Thanksgiving. Garrett.

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Speaker 2: Garrett's the biggest cop out ever. He's not a true homeowner.

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Speaker 2: You know what he does. He pays somebody to put

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Speaker 2: up his decorations for him.

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Speaker 4: Oh hell yeah, good for you, Garrett.

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Speaker 5: I've done that for Christmas. We did that Christmas lights.

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Speaker 5: Really every year you.

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Speaker 3: Got a guy you gotta.

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Speaker 9: And I'm probably the one that should do it. So

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Speaker 9: this year, I've got this new idea. So my house

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Speaker 9: has a it looks like it's a second story. But

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Speaker 9: it's not only have a one story house, but from

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Speaker 9: the outside it looks like a second story. So last

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Speaker 9: year I couldn't get lights up there because my balance

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Speaker 9: wasn't very good after my after the aneurysm surgery. But

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Speaker 9: this year, I'm convinced that I'm going to be able

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Speaker 9: to get up on that second floor. And so I've

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Speaker 9: already I got a ladder. I'm going to climb up

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Speaker 9: the back roof of the house. And climb up. I'm

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Speaker 9: not going to go from the roof. I'm going to

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Speaker 9: go from the backslide. I'm going to put lights on

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Speaker 9: the whole house this year.

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Speaker 6: I'm so you should call the fire department and have

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Speaker 6: them put those airbags down for you, just in case.

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Speaker 3: I don't want owned.

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Speaker 8: Nobody plans, really, dumb ass?

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Speaker 7: You plan for own a real house like myself? What

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Speaker 7: does it cost and how do they charge you in

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Speaker 7: putting up lights? When you hire someone, is it by

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Speaker 7: the foot or is it by the time.

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Speaker 5: And liter depends on who you hire and.

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Speaker 3: How What are we talking here?

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Speaker 7: Is it hundreds of dollars or is it over is

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Speaker 7: it over a thousand?

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Speaker 10: It could tell us it could be as little as

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Speaker 10: one hundred or a thousand, now a thousand bucks. Let

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Speaker 10: me let me go into context before everyone goes, oh

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Speaker 10: bougie bitch. Uh So I put the lights on the

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Speaker 10: ground up myself. My son and daughter were convinced we

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Speaker 10: need lights on the house. I'm not climbing my my

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Speaker 10: gutters and my roof to put lights on on there.

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Speaker 10: I'm not doing that. I will fall off. I plan

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Speaker 10: on going up a ladder and falling every time I

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Speaker 10: go up a ladder, So I don't go up a ladder,

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Speaker 10: so I pay someone to do that easily. And then

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Speaker 10: the ground on me inflatables, lights, trees, that's me. But

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Speaker 10: everything above my front door that I cannot reach, that's

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Speaker 10: on someone else.

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Speaker 5: No, it's not. And it depends on it also depends.

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Speaker 6: On when you fall next week.

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Speaker 5: I'm not going I want to text you when he falls.

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Speaker 9: I'm not gonna fall.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna fall.

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Speaker 8: We do the same thing, but it's kind of similar

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Speaker 8: to garret, where we have some things we do ourselves,

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Speaker 8: and some things we have somebody else. And if you

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Speaker 8: know somebody or if you have a friend that does it,

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Speaker 8: or you can you can actually get a pretty decent deal.

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Speaker 8: If if you have your own decorations and they use

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Speaker 8: your decorations to it's different. So yeah, they can also

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Speaker 8: store them for you if you if you have all

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Speaker 8: these lights and you don't want to keep them all

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Speaker 8: year round, if you have enough money.

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Speaker 9: There's a company that will come to your house and

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Speaker 9: wipe your asks for you too.

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Speaker 5: Probably that is true.

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Speaker 11: See everybody says money can't buy happiness, and sure it

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Speaker 11: can't buy actual happiness, but it can buy time and

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Speaker 11: it can buy freedom, and I think that those kistly

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Speaker 11: contribute to happiness.

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Speaker 4: I would absolutely save all my time and buy that.

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Speaker 1: I sure.

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Speaker 5: I told you.

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Speaker 8: Guys last year that my friend around the corner, she

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Speaker 8: comes home. He comes home and there are people decorating

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Speaker 8: their house for Chris Great.

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Speaker 5: And he didn't call these people. He goes, he started.

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Speaker 8: Yelling at them and chasing them away, and the people were.

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Speaker 4: Like, no, no, no, no, no, we're supposed to be here.

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Speaker 5: This is the address. He goes, what the hell are

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Speaker 5: you talking about. I didn't pay for you to do this.

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Speaker 8: Well, his wife went and she did so they showed

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Speaker 8: him the paperwork and the address.

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Speaker 5: He was living.

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Speaker 4: He's a phonetop.

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Speaker 8: He was so pissed. The house looked beautiful. And here's

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Speaker 8: how I found out. I text him, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 8: your house looks absolutely beautiful this year, and his text

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Speaker 8: back was, well, let me tell you what happened.

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Speaker 6: Well, there are some people that still just want to

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Speaker 6: do everything themselves and don't want any Like my dad.

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Speaker 6: He's almost eighty. He still goes on the roof and

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Speaker 6: cleans the chimney.

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Speaker 3: Does he still shovel snow?

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Speaker 6: Your dad's gonna fall too, he is, there's no doubt

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Speaker 6: he's gonna fall, break us hip, and it's done, and

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Speaker 6: Freddie can share a bedroom.

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Speaker 3: And my parents finally gave up the snow shoveling.

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Speaker 7: They were out there right up until like two years ago,

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Speaker 7: and then last year we had that one storm. My

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Speaker 7: father was like, fuck it. We get people that knock

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Speaker 7: on the door every time, trying to hustle and make

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Speaker 7: some money. He is. I always would be like, no,

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Speaker 7: thank you, no thank you. Last year, I true them.

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Speaker 7: I threw him sixty bucks. They cleaned the whole place out.

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Speaker 7: They were done to hat snowblower with them and everything.

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Speaker 7: He goes, I loved it. I saw. I sat in

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Speaker 7: my lazy boy all afternoon. I didn't have to lift

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Speaker 7: the finger, and I paid him sixty bucks. I'm like,

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Speaker 7: ah see, welcome to freaking my world.

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Speaker 3: Pay for everything.

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Speaker 10: So I watched a take the Christmas lights from from

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Speaker 10: the office and I go, hey, you know I know

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Speaker 10: someone that can help you out, and he goes, I

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Speaker 10: want to try it.

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Speaker 3: I give Nate one season.

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Speaker 10: He's gonna come back, and you're gonna be like, all right,

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Speaker 10: I need that number, and I'll be like fine, that's

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Speaker 10: the novel.

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Speaker 1: Let me try it, Let me learn my lesson, let

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Speaker 1: me not fall.

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Speaker 10: So Nate was lighting a fire over the summer, and

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Speaker 10: I watched the video of him go like this from

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Speaker 10: sitting down.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever start an air fire?

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Speaker 7: Far?

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Speaker 3: You try getting up on your roof to put up lights.

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Speaker 6: Man, you light a match and you drop in the thing.

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Speaker 6: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: You don't you do the seals?

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Speaker 1: I don't have these fancy logs that like logs.

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Speaker 6: You crumple up about ten fifteen pieces of newspaper.

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Speaker 3: Kid, Dad, You gotta get the air flow. It's all

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Speaker 3: about the airflow.

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Speaker 1: You gotta get that airflow going.

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Speaker 6: And your wood has to be dry.

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Speaker 3: Wood was a little damp. That was my problem. Damp wood.

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Speaker 5: Don'd Yeah, Sometimes that's good.

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Speaker 3: You want wet wood and other times is dry.

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Speaker 1: Hey back to Garrett real quick.

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Speaker 2: So what happens when the guy that you found on

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Speaker 2: Craigslist falls off your roof? No?

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Speaker 9: Here, here's here's the thing.

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Speaker 10: Obviously, Christmas lights, they're not a a three hundred and

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Speaker 10: sixty five day a year company. The guy I hired

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Speaker 10: his other job which he I use him for. He

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Speaker 10: does mosquito shields. So he comes in the yard so

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Speaker 10: on on on Wednesday he's doing his final spraying of

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Speaker 10: the yard. And then Thursday of next week he puts

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Speaker 10: up my Christmas light.

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Speaker 6: A lot of landscaping companies will do that too, should suit.

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Speaker 4: If they fall off the roof, then who's paying?

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Speaker 1: Is he insured?

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Speaker 3: He's insured by the company?

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Speaker 4: Nice, right that I do want?

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Speaker 2: I want somebody to hold your ladder though, froggy that

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Speaker 2: see I think about that ship too. I'm like, man,

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Speaker 2: that's how nine nine out of ten accidents are like

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Speaker 2: guys falling off the ladders.

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Speaker 1: You know that, right it is?

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Speaker 9: And you and here's the problem with somebody holding their ladder.

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Speaker 9: Usually my ladder holder is my son, who is cel

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Speaker 9: is almost twenty. So I'll get up and lade, I'm han,

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Speaker 9: I need you to hold this. Get up on the letter.

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Speaker 9: I look down. The fucker's on his phone. He's like,

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Speaker 9: I got it. Like what you're doing.

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Speaker 5: See, that's not.

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Speaker 8: Good for you because if you hit your head, your

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Speaker 8: head is more fragile than most of our heads.

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Speaker 5: So not good.

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Speaker 1: Up and open like a limit.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's gonna be like my parents regularly call

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Speaker 2: me and like, hey, do you remember Hank from church.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, fell off the ladder broke yet, Like shit, yes.

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Speaker 3: Not froggy. I'm not gonna frog.

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Speaker 9: I'm not gonna Nobody ever plans on it.

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Speaker 3: OK, here's the.

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Speaker 9: Problem if I do fall. If I do fall, I

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Speaker 9: won't fall off the ladder. I'll make it to the

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Speaker 9: roof because I have a one story roof. It's the

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Speaker 9: part where I have to try to reach the second

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Speaker 9: floor little arch thing where there's like little arches over

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Speaker 9: these fake faults windows I have to That's where the

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Speaker 9: problem is going to be. I plan to lay on

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Speaker 9: the roof like the direction that the roof is going,

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Speaker 9: and put these Imagine I'm a lay down on the roof.

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Speaker 9: My roof is shingle, so it's got you know, it's

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Speaker 9: got some grip, and I'll lay down and just clip

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Speaker 9: each one.

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Speaker 3: I'll be fine.

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Speaker 2: Just think how much simpler life would be if you

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Speaker 2: were scary where all you had to do is put

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Speaker 2: out your Charlie Brown Christmas tree and you've done for

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Speaker 2: the year.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any other decorations?

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Speaker 5: That's humbug right now.

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Speaker 3: I don't have any decorations.

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Speaker 7: No, I just I've added a couple of balls.

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Speaker 3: To the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

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Speaker 7: I was at an appearance a couple of years ago

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Speaker 7: and listeners made this homemade jingle bell wreathly type thing,

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Speaker 7: and I say, we hear that you don't have real

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Speaker 7: you don't have any decorations, so we made you this

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Speaker 7: and we brought it for you.

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Speaker 3: So every year I hang out on.

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Speaker 4: My it probably has a camera in it listening watching us.

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Speaker 2: Very weird watching you watch porn Hub with that bowling

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Speaker 2: alley scene with the hell scene was.

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Speaker 4: That was like basement bowling alley?

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Speaker 3: It was. It was a basement bowling. It was bowling alley. Bukack. God,

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Speaker 3: who knew there was such a thing?

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Speaker 4: What is It was the worst thing. It was the

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Speaker 4: worst thing I've ever seen.

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Speaker 2: If you look for it, you can find it in there.

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Speaker 2: We got the porn Hub intro who loaded that in?

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Speaker 2: You did remember we played it?

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Speaker 8: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: It was part of a game we played.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, I think we've kind of run the gamut.

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Speaker 3: Do you want to give us the sign off?

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Speaker 1: There?

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Speaker 2: Scary?

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Speaker 3: You want me to play? Yeah, let's do that off.

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Speaker 1: Last podcast for the week, so exciting.

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Speaker 3: I think.

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Speaker 2: It's not coming MP for a second. Okay, Pornhub, here

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Speaker 2: we go, turned that off. There we go, Edward done.

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Speaker 3: That was Fast Nate, the fifteen minute morning show