WEBVTT - Rhymes & Reasoning with Rapsody 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.520 Coming up. Keep it positive, sweetie. 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:05.720 My question was like, yo, what is my real purpose? 0:00:05.960 --> 0:00:06.440 Same thing? 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:10.000 Like, you know, with the talent and everything that I 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:11.600 pour in to be the best that I could be, 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:14.320 why are not you know, put up. 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:14.880 Here in the light? 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:17.880 And then you know, for me to clarity was. 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.480 You know, sometimes you're not supposed to be in the 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:22.680 light because you are the light. 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:23.680 You know what I'm saying. 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:52.640 Yes, this episode is sponsored by Better Health. Hey, sweeties, 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:58.160 there is so much stigma centered around therapy, whether it's stress, sadness, words, 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:01.640 or relationship issues. There's a shame that is attached with 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:05.320 it when there really shouldn't be. I initially started therapy 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:07.480 during the pandemic because this was the first time I 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:10.400 actually got to sit with myself. With a hustle and 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.080 bustle of life. We can suppress so much and often 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:16.200 neglect getting the help that we need. When I first 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.560 tried therapy, I didn't feel any mental clarity or that 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:21.720 it was working. But that was because I was not 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:24.679 being honest with my therapist. Once I found the right 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.000 license therapist for me and I was honest, my world 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.600 completely changed. If you're like me and you know you 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.000 need to talk to someone but don't know where to start. 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.640 I have something for you, and it's Better Help. It's 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.800 convenient and easily accessible on your phone. All you have 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.120 to do is download the app, sign up, and fill 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.560 out the questionnaire. Within a few days, it pairs you 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:48.280 with a licensed therapist. So what are you waiting for? 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:52.600 Go to www dot betterhelp dot com. Forward Sized Crystal, 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:58.560 Let's all get better together with Better Help. Hello on 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.680 CHRISTOPHINEE Hazel and this It's keep it positive, Sweetie, a 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.240 safe space to heal, a laugh, grow and love, MC 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:09.000 creative and the soul forever becoming. If you look at 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.560 her bio on Instagram, that's how Rhapsody identifies, with a 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.239 style of her own and afloat draped in the essence 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.160 of true hip hop. Rhapsody has evolved into one of 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.680 the genre's most important voices. With twenty years in the 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.840 hip hop game and lyrics that Reese's soul rapsit has 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:28.120 cemented her place at top hip hop's most elite. I'm 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:30.360 so grateful to spend some time with her today and 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:32.360 talk to her about where she's come from and where 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:36.360 she's going rap. Thank you so much for coming. Happy 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:40.840 to listen no, I'm seriously like, I just had you write. 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.280 She was my ghostwriter for the ve Et Ciphers, So 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:46.520 that was my first time getting to meet you. Been 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:48.720 a huge fan, and then I got to come to 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:50.520 one of your shows recently here in Atlanta. 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:52.440 I was so happy to see girl. 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:54.240 That was my first time seeing you live. 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.000 I'm glad that was the first show because these other 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.120 years I've been working my way up to that. 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.840 So I was just I was literally blown away. I 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:06.000 was just like this because you're so like till, your 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:08.880 demeanor super chillul. When you hit that stage, the other 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:09.800 personality comes out. 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:13.120 I was like, like, who was that? 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:16.359 Yeah, right right? Have you always been like so chill? 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:17.120 Yeah? 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:21.320 I grew up shy, really busy, say have talent shows, 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:22.920 and my mom will always try to get me in it. 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:27.280 I was Paula Abdul one time you hearing the Cat, Yeah, 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:28.800 I was the cat and I was supposed to I 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:29.640 got on stage. 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:30.560 I was like, absolutely not. 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.680 But my mom like she's really into that. Like she's 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:38.240 the youngest of thirteen kids, so she's the fun one. 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:41.080 So every family union she was Tina Turner Wow, and 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.600 I had to be her backup ground dancer. So we 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:48.120 watch Tina Turner study the videos, the movements every year 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:51.680 and that's where I learned to like really perform like she. 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:54.600 She's the beginning of that for me. Wow, She'll have moms. 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:55.480 I love it. 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.400 But I mean I think like I was in La 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:01.480 last night and the homies were like you, you are 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.120 so confident. And I think because I've gone through this 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.880 healing phase and I love myself more and I'm more 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.800 secure in myself, I can be more free on stage 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:11.840 to allow people to see all parts of me. 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:13.760 Wow, I want to talk about that because I just 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:16.920 recently went through a healing stage where I feel more 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.600 comfort with my own skin. I know who I am. 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.039 Nobody can tell me who I am anymore. You know 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:23.279 a lot of times you're like, well, who do you 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:26.120 say I am? Like, okay, okay, this is cool. No, 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:27.960 Like I know what I like, what I don't like? 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.799 What was that transition like through that healing phase? 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:35.960 Yes, doing a healing phase, man, you really have to 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:40.080 sit with yourself and be honest with yourself. Forgive yourself 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:42.159 for some things, for not taking care of yourself and 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.520 not speaking up for yourself. Because I think I had 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:49.000 put myself in situations that you know, left me in 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.640 a bad place, trying to be there for other people, 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.479 trying to be that thing for other people, and you 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:56.880 go home and mentally like it's so much. 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:57.960 You're not happy, You're. 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.200 Carrying a lot, and you have to learn, like I 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.760 have to affirm myself, like I can't let this world 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:06.720 do it. I can't, you know, look for the validation. 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:08.880 I can't be sad if I don't get a certain 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:13.280 you know, like let the ego part go. And I 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.599 just had to learn to be happy with me. Whatever 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:18.360 is for me is for me. Like I'm not trying 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.080 to make y'all happy. I'm trying to make me happy. 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:23.560 And I think once I understood that, it just fell 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:25.760 into place. But it was a journey, like you know, 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.839 it's not easier. It's not a lot of crying, a 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:31.520 lot of solitude, like I ain't want to talk to nobody. 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.120 It was during the pandemic, so that was a rough 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.359 time for everybody. Yeah, I didn't turn the TV on. 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:42.320 I hardly watch TV. Like my one of my best 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.039 friends BYAKA loves. 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:48.239 You Love Yeah, I love her Like you ain't seen. 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:50.440 Sisters, I said, I haven't watched TV like that in 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:51.039 four years. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.680 Yeah, Like I don't know what it is, but it's 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:57.560 just like I just had everything felt like fantasy illusion 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:58.640 and you in the music. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:01.040 Industry on top of that, Yeah, it's a lot. 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:05.120 You know, they tell you these things are real, but 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.960 you realize that's not the reality of the world. So 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.279 I was just sitting with a lot and shitting with 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:12.679 a lot and I had to learn my own truth 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:13.280 and reality. 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.720 Yeah. Wow, I love that because so many times, like 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:18.680 we see I see you on stage, you wouldn't even 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:20.800 know that you had to deal with something like that. 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:23.200 And we all have our own journeys, things that we're 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.680 trying to figure out. Shit we're trying to work through. 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.440 Like me, like I know myself, Like people look like 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:29.280 she's got it all together. 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:29.880 No I don't. 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:32.400 And my brother can tell you because he helped me 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.919 hold it together, cause i'd be like, ah, you know, 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.520 it's like those times, and there's times where they don't 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:40.800 understand when you're in the light and you're pushed out 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.760 there so much, you need those moments by yourself. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:44.800 Yeah. 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.880 I want to ask you, like, as your stardom and 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.400 your star continued to rise, like did that play a 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.520 part in like, this is a lot. I need to 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.039 figure this out. Did you feel that heaviness in that weight? 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:56.840 Not so much. 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:02.240 I'm talking about this earlier, like I'm I'm still I 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.200 don't feel like I'm that famous where it's it's that 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:05.080 much pressure for me. 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:06.840 I put London, they know who you are. 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:07.560 You were wide. 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:08.320 What are you talking about? 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:09.240 You were wide? 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:15.040 Okay, they won world wide, but ID like they was like. 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:16.080 You can't buy yourself. 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.360 I was like, here, I try to travel myself a lot, 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.000 you know, and I think I put more pressure on 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.320 myself than anything because I feel like I have to 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:28.400 check all these boxes off to be successful. And it's 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:31.080 really not that. It's like I wake up and I 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.760 get to do what I love every day. I'm happy, 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.680 I'm at peace, I could eat. I like food me too. 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:39.040 The only one thing I need more money because I 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:40.200 like expensive clothes. 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:42.400 You know. 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.120 I want to try to go thrift to and all that, 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:46.800 but I just have attraction too expensive clothes. 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:47.080 No. 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.880 Literally, when I'm online shopping, I was like, ooh, I 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:51.880 love it. It's like five thousand dollars, but of course 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:54.280 it's five thousand dollars. Why is my eye drawn. 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.160 To that that is me. 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.080 I'm just like you know, I don't need a big house, 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:00.800 I don't need five cars. 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:02.640 I just need a call of it full of fly 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:05.880 cloth happy. So you know, I had to learn. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.160 Those things like you think, you know in my profession anyway, 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.280 like you gotta get the Grammy, need my BT Awards, 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:14.240 need the NAAC, you know, like and it's like, yo, 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.400 you just gotta touch people at the end of the day, 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:19.520 you know. And that's why this tour has been like 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:23.840 I tell people it's my place of peace because in healings, 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.679 it's not linear, right right, like I have my days, 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.680 whereas there was some day on this tour, I did 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:32.480 a lot of crime. Really yeah, like frustrated, like you know, 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:36.360 just reverting back. And it was the shows Meet and Greece, 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:38.319 like you know, people affirming you. 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:40.400 Like the stories I heard. 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.680 You know that can feel like it could be weight, 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.079 but I don't make it. Wait, Like one of the 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:49.960 girl told me, she was like, You're the reason I'm 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:55.200 still here today. Like you know, you go, we go 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:59.640 in and I write through lived experiences and I look 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:01.800 at the but we make this music and you never 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:03.840 know where it's gonna go. And how it's gonna affect 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:07.360 people until you meet these people. Like that was just 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:11.280 one story. Another lady was like, my baby was born 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.440 with half a heart and the only way I was 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.800 able to get through her surgeries was listening to your 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:19.920 song Faith. It was just so many things. Another guy 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:23.080 like my mom was murdered and you know, and it's 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:27.200 just like, Okay, none of the other stuff matters. It's 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:29.280 great to be acknowledged for your work, but it's it's 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:33.200 always the people. So I'm thankful for this tour because 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:34.080 it keeps me centered. 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:36.760 Yes, yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean, because 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.600 I'm pretty new to this, you know, to starving celebrity. 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:44.839 It's maybe about four years, but as a like one 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.520 inspiring actor and wanting to like just be at the top, 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:49.840 Like I got caught up in that, like dang, like 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:52.240 why hasn't our show gotten any awards? And like we're 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.880 number one? You see the numbers. You know what I'm saying, 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:57.640 Like I got caught up in like wanting the accolades. 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:00.439 And then I also always wonder why I are never 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.240 worried about that because you look back and you see 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:05.800 all the people that you've touched, What are you really 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.080 here for what is the mission? And I was like, 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:11.760 got it? You know, And I think for me, acting 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:15.920 was a vessel to get the notoriety to do this 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:18.360 because the amount of people that I reach on a 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:21.040 more personal level, on a more level where it's like 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.000 you saved my life or it's because of you that 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:24.680 I'm still living like you. 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:26.319 I don't look at it as a weight. 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:28.600 It's a blessing and an honor to be able to 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.800 tell my story and be honest and transparent that I 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.880 can help people. So I told it, I get it 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:35.760 because I was like that too. I was like, dang, 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:37.959 why ain't got this? And like the industry would make 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:39.439 you feel like, oh, you ain't doing nothing. 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:44.720 They will and things have changed so much, like it's 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:48.400 just different. You know, everything is about numbers and that 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.439 can be the illusion of it. It's not so much 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:54.079 about talent and the image of things. So you know, 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:57.040 when that changes, we have to change with it, you 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:57.920 know what we look at. 0:10:58.000 --> 0:10:59.560 But the people are all They're going to keep us 0:10:59.559 --> 0:10:59.960 here for us. 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:00.920 That will. 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:04.800 Like I was telling somebody, I took my mushroom. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.480 Like that was my that was my you know, they say, 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:13.760 ask just there's a question that you want to have answer, 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:16.280 you may have your answer when you have that type 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:16.840 of clarity. 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:17.240 Wow. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.920 And my question was like, yo, what is my real purpose? 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.960 Same thing, like, you know, with the talent and everything 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:25.839 that I pour into be the best that I could be? 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:29.080 Why are not you know, put up here in the light? 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.679 And then you know, for me, the clarity was, you know, 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.200 sometimes you're not supposed to be in the light because 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:36.880 you are the light. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.040 You know what I'm saying, Yes you are. 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.880 And I was with my homeboy, Niko Brahm, who's my artist, 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:46.520 and he's like, your rap, you gotta understand. He was like, 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:49.480 you know, like you don't know like how much many 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:51.600 people look at you. It's like it's like you want 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:52.360 an unbeaten path. 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:54.240 You just got a machete and you should shoo shoo 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:54.800 shoow so. 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:57.120 We can walk behind you. And I was like, damn, 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:59.760 I appreciate that perspective. And I was, and I you know, 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:01.920 I thought, I was like, but so many people have 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.000 cleared the path for me, and I had to think, like, 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.600 but it's been untended to yes, so yeah, the weeds 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:09.560 have grown up yea, So now you have to go 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:13.520 in and be that and you know that was that 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:14.400 was my clarity. 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:19.160 Wow, I love that. That is beautiful Navigate. I did 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.559 music too. I'm working on some music now. But when 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.680 I first moved to Atlanta, I was working on music, 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:25.760 and as a woman in the industry, it was really 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.880 hard for me because it's such a male dominated industry 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:30.840 and when you're do anybody yourself. I was really like 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:33.760 just working relationships, trying to figure it out. What has 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:35.960 been your path working in this industry. 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.560 I can say mine has been blessed. You know. 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:42.600 I've heard some horse story, yeah, and you know, the 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.520 industry getting a bad rap. I don't think everybody's experiences 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.840 like that. I'm not saying mine was all good. You know, 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.920 anything you want to have, it's gonna be challenged, absolutely. 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:56.120 But I came up under ninth wondering young gul Wow, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.880 and I could say in the early stages of my career, 0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:01.360 the men really looked out for me. 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:02.200 You know. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.000 They were the first two that saw my talent, that 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:07.040 poured into me, that told me I could do it. 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:09.560 Because being from where I'm from, like a small town 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:13.880 in snow Hill, North Carolina, for me, I never had 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.880 exposure to that type of success to be able to 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:18.920 think like I never had anybody I could look to 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:20.600 touch same you know what I'm saying. 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:22.800 I was like, I want to do that. I have 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:24.360 no idea how you know. 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:27.560 So they were the first ones, but they protected me. 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:30.320 Like the first thing they sat down and told me was, 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.600 before you do anything in this industry, before you get 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.680 in the booth and record a song, I want you 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.040 to define your line. The line you will not cross, 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.440 you will not lose yourself over. They made me do 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:43.000 that before anything, since I had to sit and know 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:46.280 who I was first, and a lot of artists asked 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:48.000 me for advice. I said, before you do anything, you 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.040 have to ask yourself, who am I? What do I 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:51.960 want to do in this business? That'll answer all the 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.920 questions of how you moved from now? And we just 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:59.680 moved with intention like that organic, authentic everything that we 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:03.160 had like it was off organic relationships, like just building 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:05.600 with people. I got nothing easy. I had to learn 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:09.160 every bit I had. I wouldn't want it any other. No, 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.719 you know anything easy, you lose it easy? Yeah, I 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.400 say that, And you know there are some challenges, like 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.319 you know, as a woman, I had to work ten 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.120 times harder coming up in the era that I did. 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:24.160 You know, it was early two thousands, so it was like, 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:29.000 you know, the late nineties, early two thousands, a woman 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:34.280 image and hip hop change, you know, yep. And so 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:38.320 it was like finding our way back into that. And 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:42.400 I felt like I had such a hard fight with them, 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.360 you know. And it wasn't about the sexual image to me, 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.760 it was all about the talent. I didn't have a 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:53.840 strong sisterhood village at that time, right, Like, I'm so 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:55.960 excited to see so many women now and to see 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:56.760 like their friends. 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:58.320 Yeah, I think that's so dope. 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:02.200 I didn't get that experience, know, so the God Kendrick 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:05.840 held me down, Big crit held me down, Yeah, held 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.840 me down. Nipsey held me down. Like the guys really 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:13.160 looked out for me. So you know that's but otherwise 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.120 it was just it was just really hustle. I just 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:16.040 put my head down. 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:19.000 I don't know. 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.800 I wouldn't take no for an answer, you know, yep. 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.000 And you know it was like I've been called everything ugly. 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:28.600 I was chunky there, you fat, You'll never make it. 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:31.520 Nobody wants to hear that you're boring, you know, it's 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:35.800 too black, like it's just thing a thing, and a 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.280 lot of it from the early beginnings was from black 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.600 women and that, you know, I remember that that was 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:45.640 probably the hardest way that I had to like but 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:49.040 you know, you find your village. Yeah, yeah, And this 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:51.800 season is so beautiful. I can see it on Your 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:53.720 energy is just so like like. 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.760 What you said, you're looking for the light, but you 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.480 are the light and not see that in you And 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:00.760 I love that you found that piece of happiness in 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:04.640 this season. You said something about sister circles in the 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.880 in the industry. Have you found like your sister circle 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:08.400 in the industry? 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:08.600 Now? 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:11.200 Are you still with the boys? I mean, I'm old 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:12.280 you with everybody? Yeah? 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:17.120 Nah, it's I grew up with boys all my life. 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:19.920 Like I'm from a big family. My mom is one 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:23.720 of thirteen, but all my cousins around my age were boys, 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:27.320 So that's what I was used to comfortable with. But 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:29.600 it's you know, you grow up and you really experience 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:32.440 life and you realize it's not till you find you 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.760 like your sisterhood village. I have like four or five 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.960 really really close best friends, and I was like, I 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:42.720 understand the importance of having sisterhood now because the way 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:44.320 we show up for each other and the way that 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.600 we see each other and understand what we go through. 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:51.280 I can't really have with guys, and they have been 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:53.320 my rock. But in the industry, like I have a 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:59.880 beautiful village, Ray Digga, Queen Latifah mc light, Erica by 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.800 do like the last two or three years, we built 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:04.800 a beautiful friendship. She's one of my best friends. I 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.679 love her to death. So Nihilatan, you are now in 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:14.320 my village of course. Yes, Beyonca, Sherry Bryant's and even 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:16.160 like the girls Lady London. 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:16.719 I love her. 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:22.320 Yeah, Tierra Wack I talked to her, so yeah, I'm 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:23.160 so happy. 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.840 It's amazing. Do you guys talk to each other about 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.280 like your struggles in the industry are like what you 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:32.080 may be battling in this certain season, especially like the 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:34.520 women like in the industry that you're cool with. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:36.840 Yeah, Light has. 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:41.840 Given me advice sometimes Bia has hit me before asking 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:43.560 for advice. I've given her advice. 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:47.960 Yeah, I love it. I love it. 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.080 It's very important to me because I know how it 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.680 feels to not have that, yeause, so I try to 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.760 for me anyway. I extent myself to everybody but clean 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:57.800 my teeth, hats taking me under her wing and giving 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.560 me advice, Like, but I. 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.240 Do is always giving me advice. 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.320 You know, my sit I didn't sit down like this 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:07.600 with her talk for maybe just twenty minutes, and she 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:12.080 dropped so many jewels like it was past music. 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:16.040 It was just life love relationships. 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:18.760 Yeah. So yeah, do you ever just sit back and 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:20.640 when you were like, think about the names you just name, 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:23.160 like these are people that are sowing into me. They'll 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.040 be like, wow, these are like icons that we grew 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:27.320 up to. Now this is your life. 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:28.639 Like that crazy. 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:32.280 It's so crazy. It's like it's twofold, right. I definitely 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:35.359 look at that. I'd be like, yo, me and be 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:37.639 Be are really cool. But I'm like at the end 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:39.720 of the day, they's just like me too, you know. 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:42.879 And they'll have people hit me and they're like, yo, 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:44.080 we got to meet and greet. I don't know what 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.160 to say to you, and I'm just like just being something. 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:50.720 I mean, I'm the homegirl, right, They like they want 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:54.199 the same thing. But it is crazy because like I 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:57.640 grew up being inspired by these women, right. 0:18:57.680 --> 0:18:59.440 Mama's gun Listen. 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:04.679 Said when I started rapping up times are wasting was 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:08.880 like my soundtrack. Yeah, don't waste your time every day 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:14.040 like Lauren have. I don't have a deep relationship, but 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:15.480 I'm able to email her. 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:17.440 It's like those things. 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:21.240 Yeah, but yeah, light like em light calls meeting the 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:23.080 most rappity rap. 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:27.480 I'm just checking on you where you at. Like it's 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:28.320 just so dope. 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:30.840 That's beautiful And it warns my heart to hear that 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:33.080 because a lot of times I feel like in our culture, 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:36.600 especially in our in our society, we don't see that 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:39.399 in the black community. Yeah, just like you said, there 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:41.800 was when you were sit hearing these comments. It was 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.159 mainly from women that look like you and like, so 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:46.680 it feels really good to know that, like we're checking 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:49.359 on each other, doing those check ins because is important. 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.159 So yeah, because they can see you on stage and 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.320 I know you're hurting when you go into the dressing room. 0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:57.159 Boy, you know, I'm trying to tell you. Some days 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:01.480 I'll be like, yeah, they knew how it started my day. 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:02.280 Baby. 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:02.840 Oh. 0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:05.720 I had a moment like that one few seasons ago. 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:08.119 It was an episode with even Marcel and I was 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:11.360 in my closet just like trying to cry and trying 0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:14.440 to get it together and got on the sofa and 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:16.919 I literally was like she said something and I just 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:19.159 lost it and I was like, if you knew what 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.679 I was going through before I wiped those series off, 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:25.480 like hey, you would be like what you know? And 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:27.719 they don't see that. They don't. So it's always good 0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:29.920 to have good people to check on you. Yep, check 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:31.960 on your strong friends. I know people hear that and 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.800 things cliche, but seriously, check on your strong friends. 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.560 And it could be just as simple as just sitting 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:40.439 a note yep, Like I just randomly check somebody like 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:43.359 create a great day, breathe easy, Yeah, ooh I love that. 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:48.400 Yeah, sent me one day at random, like I declare. 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:50.840 She had like twelve things to declare that day and 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.760 I was just like, my saving. So it's just things 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:55.879 like that. But we got to get back to community. 0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:57.760 We've gotten so far away from community. 0:20:57.840 --> 0:20:58.040 Yeah. 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.479 Yeah, that's what we were build on, you know, like 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:03.040 looking out for each other and making sure you heard them. 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:05.360 I'm about to go, I'm about to be random. Heard 0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:07.600 of this term called ekey guy. 0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:12.560 So it's based on this small island in Japan where 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:15.479 the oldest people live, and it's like, why do they 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:17.879 live so long, and they practice this thing called ekey 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:20.720 guy and it's living within your purpose. And so the 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:25.280 whole community they walk a lot every day, they eat 0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:26.840 like a lot of rice, they only eat to eight 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:30.080 percent full. But I thought it was so dope that if. 0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:31.800 Someone in the village and everybody has to get a 0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:33.960 job in their purpose that makes them happy. 0:21:34.040 --> 0:21:37.240 You have to do things that make you enjoy. 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:40.240 But if somebody loses their job, they're about having those 0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:42.800 stress in life. So the community take care take care 0:21:42.960 --> 0:21:44.920 of that person until they get back on their feet. 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:45.439 Wow. 0:21:45.520 --> 0:21:48.080 And I just think about, like if it's all operated 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:49.280 from that place. 0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:53.040 Like I don't know, I like that. Yeah, that is 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:57.000 maybe you should like kind of create like a space 0:21:57.080 --> 0:22:02.119 for that, yeah, just to get people's minds in that space, 0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:04.200 like you know what. Yeah, we should like continue to 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:07.040 support each other and help each other. Yeah, I love that. 0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:11.880 I recently went to Costa Rica won the five blue 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:14.600 zones where people live the longest. Now I feel it's 0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:16.159 probably like one because there is one I feel like 0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:18.760 in Japan as well. It may be the place. Yeah, 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:21.800 because where I went to the people they grew their 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:25.520 own food, They hiked every morning and like they did 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:28.320 the cold plunges in the natural river did the hot 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:31.159 plunge in the natural like they had different spaces. But 0:22:31.200 --> 0:22:34.760 these people lived to be over one hundred years and 0:22:35.080 --> 0:22:38.000 even cooking for their families was a way to show 0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:39.439 love and to exercise. 0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:43.600 Same, yes, the same. Yeah we got the cold. 0:22:43.960 --> 0:22:48.200 Yeah right, we so far gone to America. It's like, 0:22:48.720 --> 0:22:54.320 but I won't chick fil a. Now. You told me 0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:57.239 earlier that you are now vegan, and I told you 0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:02.920 seeking on about longevity. I told you about my v journey. 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:05.160 Don't do what I did. 0:23:06.359 --> 0:23:08.120 So when I was vigan, I was vegan for about 0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:11.240 two years. Shout out Luke James. He actually inspired me 0:23:11.280 --> 0:23:13.320 to go vegan a few years ago. This is probably 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:14.600 like maybe was it five years ago? 0:23:14.920 --> 0:23:15.200 Geese? 0:23:15.520 --> 0:23:17.720 Around five years ago? I did for two years. 0:23:17.760 --> 0:23:19.280 What did he do with that? Inspired you? 0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:21.719 He was vegan. This's when he was filming Star and 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:23.800 I did a Thanksgiving like a friend's giving, but he 0:23:23.880 --> 0:23:25.480 was like, I'm vegan. I was like great, So now 0:23:25.520 --> 0:23:28.360 I got to figure out vegan Thanksgiving as well as 0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:31.400 the normal southern thingsgiving. So I did it, and I tried, 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:33.320 and I was like, oh, this isn't half bad. I 0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:34.760 was like, I can do this stuff. I can still 0:23:34.800 --> 0:23:37.400 have what tastes like what I want. So they had 0:23:37.440 --> 0:23:40.720 like vegan turkey, vegan mac and cheese, the sweet Tata 0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:43.200 cast a role all the things. I was like, okay, 0:23:43.400 --> 0:23:45.720 even the stuffing didn't have milk in it, so it worked. 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:47.720 So I was like, I could do this. So I 0:23:47.720 --> 0:23:50.119 stuck with it. My cramps and everything went it way 0:23:50.160 --> 0:23:52.440 cause I had like really bad cramps for my minstrel 0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:56.600 and I was like I can do this until they 0:23:56.720 --> 0:24:05.320 ordered them JR cricket wings. That broke it baby loud. 0:24:05.880 --> 0:24:07.840 I mean, I was like, just give me one that 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:09.280 was a red scratch like a little cracker. I was like 0:24:09.280 --> 0:24:11.720 giving one of the waing's, so I would chew the 0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:17.000 wing and spin it out just like it. I thought 0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:21.639 that you girl, they were makeing like you gotta fake began. 0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:24.960 I said, I'm a flancetarian. That's why I did not 0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:27.160 go in my body the juices. 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:28.400 I got it. 0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:29.320 I got that fix. 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:30.600 I made it my cravings. 0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:35.560 I'm telling you it was. They've made my like, oh yeah, 0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:37.560 I was vegans. Somebody who was around the time. They 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:40.960 were like, she was not vegan. She was eating chicken 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:41.600 and spitting out. 0:24:41.680 --> 0:24:45.560 I was like, it was technically eat it. I chow did? 0:24:46.040 --> 0:24:49.439 Did what actually like inspired you to go vegan? I'm 0:24:49.440 --> 0:24:50.320 always interested in. 0:24:50.920 --> 0:24:53.720 Chicken chest because I felt like, you know Grand Luck's 0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:56.560 cafe out here, Yes, they have this bourbon chicken. It's 0:24:56.600 --> 0:25:00.480 got like this sauce on it. With One day, I 0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:02.560 stared at her on door dash for thirty minutes. 0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:05.000 I was like, it's today gonna be to day, I 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:09.240 believe cause I could just taste it about it what 0:25:09.440 --> 0:25:10.040 inspired me? 0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:14.640 I was in the studio session with Amanda Rifer and 0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:16.960 she and her manager were talking about a cleans that 0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:19.800 they did and they were like, yo rap, Like you know, 0:25:20.359 --> 0:25:22.560 we lost weight, but they were like we had the 0:25:22.600 --> 0:25:25.560 most energy we ever had, Like we felt this state 0:25:25.600 --> 0:25:26.360 of euphoria. 0:25:26.680 --> 0:25:26.960 Wow. 0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:28.960 And I was like I wanna feel like, yeah, I 0:25:29.040 --> 0:25:31.200 don't know what that feels like. And I had been 0:25:31.240 --> 0:25:33.359 like wanting to go bigger for him a while, but 0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:36.439 I was like I don't, Yeah, I don't know how 0:25:36.480 --> 0:25:38.920 to get this. So I was like, Okay, before tour, 0:25:39.760 --> 0:25:42.879 I'm gonna do this cleans, you know. So it was 0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:45.960 it was it's a pretty intense clean. It's twenty one days. Wow. 0:25:47.119 --> 0:25:50.840 And I just started it one day, and it was 0:25:50.880 --> 0:25:53.359 I had the most energy because I have Graves disease, 0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:56.320 so my metabolism is low and you know, s W 0:25:56.520 --> 0:25:58.800 when I travel a lot, I could miss pill some 0:25:58.880 --> 0:26:01.879 my you know. So I would go home and I 0:26:01.920 --> 0:26:03.840 could nap four or five times a day. 0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:06.320 It was like I could never get enough sleep. 0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:09.760 So I started this cleanse, and I had the most 0:26:09.880 --> 0:26:12.000 energy I've ever had in a long time. 0:26:12.200 --> 0:26:13.200 Like I didn't. 0:26:13.200 --> 0:26:15.160 I would lay down at least try to take one nap. 0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:15.840 I couldn't naps. 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:16.679 I get back up. 0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:19.119 It was like I had restless leg I just always 0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:22.480 wanted to be moving. I would go to the gym 0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:25.160 and he'd be like, you're only doing juices. We He's 0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:27.560 like yeah, Like I was like, no, I'm good, Like 0:26:28.040 --> 0:26:30.520 you know I was. I was asking him to do 0:26:30.600 --> 0:26:33.560 more in the gym than normal. So I just felt 0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:37.679 really good. I reached the state of clarity in euphoria. My 0:26:37.800 --> 0:26:40.359 skin looked good. But I have been telling myself, like, 0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:42.520 I want to get to the point where I don't 0:26:42.560 --> 0:26:45.000 have to wear makeup if I don't want to, because 0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:49.879 my skin looks good enough. Yes, and yeah, I just 0:26:49.920 --> 0:26:53.560 felt good. So once I finished it, I was just like, 0:26:53.680 --> 0:26:56.320 I don't have an urge to go back, and I 0:26:56.440 --> 0:26:58.920 just I haven't gone back. Wow, I'm proud of you 0:27:00.240 --> 0:27:03.480 have been tasting good, Like now do you ever have 0:27:03.640 --> 0:27:06.560 like because for me, I was rob vegan for a 0:27:06.600 --> 0:27:09.040 while too, and I would tell my friends who come 0:27:09.080 --> 0:27:12.159 try this and it'd be like tacos, but it was 0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:15.520 like ground walnuts with some cumin and stuff, and I'm like, 0:27:15.600 --> 0:27:17.879 oh my god, it tastes just like tacos. 0:27:18.920 --> 0:27:23.800 Did not yourself. I was tricking myself and my friends 0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:24.480 like it's just. 0:27:24.560 --> 0:27:26.160 Not taste like a taco. 0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:28.639 I know the taco tastes like I'm like, girl, it 0:27:28.760 --> 0:27:31.080 tastes just like it like psyching myself out. 0:27:31.200 --> 0:27:35.399 It might have tasted because you don't us it be God, Yeah, dude. 0:27:35.760 --> 0:27:38.600 I tried to get my mom stopped drinking like certain 0:27:38.640 --> 0:27:40.920 types of water, like try this mountain valley. 0:27:40.960 --> 0:27:42.720 She'd be like, I don't like it. I was like, 0:27:42.840 --> 0:27:48.119 you see the toxic in your water? Little taste right, 0:27:50.040 --> 0:27:52.080 sound like that is funny? 0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:55.200 She went messing with the water to no, not at all, 0:27:55.320 --> 0:27:57.600 Like she makes like that's one of my friends who 0:27:57.640 --> 0:27:59.399 was around with I was eating chicken as a vegan. 0:27:59.640 --> 0:28:03.120 She was like, she's like then she. 0:28:03.040 --> 0:28:04.919 Would come in here and be like, oh, taste this, 0:28:04.960 --> 0:28:07.240 and she's like and did not tastes nothing like when 0:28:07.280 --> 0:28:12.560 it was supposed to taste like, oh my god, girl. 0:28:13.160 --> 0:28:15.439 I did though. It was good. It was right like you. 0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:19.000 I had so much energy. I felt really good. I 0:28:19.040 --> 0:28:21.159 was probably the best shape of my life. I go 0:28:21.240 --> 0:28:25.639 back and look at that twenty nineteen body. Yeah, I 0:28:25.760 --> 0:28:28.040 need Yeah. So right now I'm doing plant past plant 0:28:28.040 --> 0:28:31.840 based pescatarian, trying to like wean myself. I just couldn't 0:28:31.880 --> 0:28:34.880 quit everything. So I stopped the chicken. I stopped the 0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:38.120 steak because I love steak too. That's my problem. I 0:28:38.160 --> 0:28:40.719 love a good steak. So I cut that out and 0:28:40.720 --> 0:28:44.600 that like within probably like two weeks, I've already was 0:28:44.640 --> 0:28:46.480 I'd gotten them like two o five. I'm down to 0:28:46.520 --> 0:28:49.640 one ninety five. It's amazing, thank you, thank you, And 0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:52.080 I feel good. I'm like, okay, because I went to 0:28:52.120 --> 0:28:55.320 the doctor like two weeks ago to get every good 0:28:55.320 --> 0:28:58.480 blood taken, just check out everything. And she called me 0:28:58.600 --> 0:29:01.760 then and she's like, You're blood sugar level was pre diabetic. 0:29:02.400 --> 0:29:05.400 I said, wait, what how we get through and I 0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:07.120 don't even eat sweet. It's like, I'm not really a 0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:09.640 sweet person. I was like, She's like no, it's like 0:29:09.680 --> 0:29:11.160 she said, she said, I'm not gonna put you on 0:29:11.200 --> 0:29:14.280 anything because your lifestyle. You got a chef, you're eating better, 0:29:14.320 --> 0:29:17.520 ain't working out, but said we gotta monitor this. And 0:29:17.640 --> 0:29:21.560 my father he was diabetic and now he's like down 0:29:21.640 --> 0:29:23.480 the one pill. He gets up every morning like five 0:29:23.480 --> 0:29:26.600 am and works out. He doesn't eat as much. Yeah, 0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:30.080 Like he's like Dad is seventy two and like really 0:29:30.120 --> 0:29:32.200 like I'm so proud of him because I was like, Dad, 0:29:32.200 --> 0:29:34.800 I want you here. You know. I was like, we 0:29:34.920 --> 0:29:36.280 made it. You know what I'm saying that you got 0:29:36.320 --> 0:29:38.720 to experience all these amazing things, but you're not gonna 0:29:38.760 --> 0:29:40.440 do that if you if you keep eating and living 0:29:40.440 --> 0:29:42.320 the way you're living. And want to tell you he 0:29:42.400 --> 0:29:43.960 turned that thing around. He's like, now I'm down to 0:29:44.080 --> 0:29:47.040 just one pill a day, and I'm like he did so. 0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:49.920 Much just shaging our diet, you know, like how bad 0:29:50.080 --> 0:29:53.640 our food is. Like my dad is diabetic too, that 0:29:53.720 --> 0:29:56.920 runs on his side of the family. So it was 0:29:56.920 --> 0:29:59.680 something too. But like I remember, like before I went 0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:01.480 V and I would be in the gym working out, 0:30:01.520 --> 0:30:04.640 and I get down to like one forty five, I'm 0:30:04.720 --> 0:30:07.840 like yes, yes, And then you know, traveling two months, 0:30:07.880 --> 0:30:10.200 I'm back in one seventy and I'm just easy. 0:30:10.440 --> 0:30:13.840 Traveling is so hard, you know, because I don't know 0:30:13.840 --> 0:30:14.440 how to do hair. 0:30:14.640 --> 0:30:18.280 So okay, and I love Cybar. I love your like 0:30:18.800 --> 0:30:21.280 long bot. I've never even seen that. And at the 0:30:21.280 --> 0:30:22.800 show it's like it's. 0:30:22.640 --> 0:30:23.720 Her hair cut in the back. 0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:25.680 I thought it was just like pulled all to the front. 0:30:25.720 --> 0:30:28.080 She's like, no, it's a bother. I said, that's fire. 0:30:28.800 --> 0:30:29.360 I love your hair. 0:30:30.120 --> 0:30:34.240 Me Hill doing that, well, oh yeah, that's fire. But 0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:37.320 you know, on tour, them like these tracks are hanging 0:30:37.360 --> 0:30:39.760 on by a thread. That's why I keep my I 0:30:39.840 --> 0:30:41.880 keep something on my hair wrapped up because I've lost 0:30:41.880 --> 0:30:43.120 the track of the show before. 0:30:45.280 --> 0:30:47.760 You just got it. You gotta roll in the school days. 0:30:47.920 --> 0:30:52.720 Who's that's funny, you know. 0:30:53.000 --> 0:30:56.840 So it's just I forgot where I was. 0:30:56.960 --> 0:30:58.920 So you know, it's okay because I just had to 0:30:58.920 --> 0:31:02.200 tell you about your hair. So but yeah, like trying 0:31:02.200 --> 0:31:04.800 to keep up on the road, like you know, Like 0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:07.520 so I'm like I can't go to gym. I haven't 0:31:07.560 --> 0:31:11.760 swept my hair out. Food you know, you want something 0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:16.160 quick and it's late, like and especially I have Graves disease. 0:31:16.280 --> 0:31:19.160 My metabolism is already slow. Can you tell us exactly 0:31:19.160 --> 0:31:21.000 what Graves is easiest? Because I've heard of it, but 0:31:21.040 --> 0:31:22.480 I'm not really educated. 0:31:22.120 --> 0:31:22.840 On I haven't. 0:31:22.880 --> 0:31:27.080 Mister Elliott has it. It's an autoimmune disease, your thyroid. 0:31:27.120 --> 0:31:29.600 It's a butterfly shaped organ that sits right over. 0:31:29.560 --> 0:31:31.200 I just learned about that. The shape of it. 0:31:31.760 --> 0:31:35.280 Doctor, She's like, it's like, yeah, butterfly got like a 0:31:35.280 --> 0:31:38.560 bowtie kind of yeah. It's like a bull time and 0:31:38.600 --> 0:31:41.800 it creates a hormone. It's like the thermostat for your body. 0:31:41.880 --> 0:31:46.240 Creatures your body temperature, me and metabolism, you know, your 0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:49.440 mind sometimes Like it's it's a lot of part of 0:31:49.840 --> 0:31:52.920 the human body that it affects. So I got diagnosed 0:31:52.960 --> 0:31:56.520 in two thousand and nine. I was hyper so I 0:31:56.600 --> 0:32:01.480 was creating too much of a certain horn. My metabolism 0:32:01.520 --> 0:32:04.200 shot up. I could eat anything, and I was still 0:32:04.280 --> 0:32:07.480 like one ten. What Yeah, I got down to one. 0:32:07.680 --> 0:32:11.320 I hadn't been one ten since I was fourteen years old. Like, 0:32:12.040 --> 0:32:17.000 you know, my eyes bulged yep, Like at one point 0:32:17.040 --> 0:32:19.280 I thought I wanted surgery just to get them back 0:32:19.320 --> 0:32:22.640 to normal, but you know, they've gone down. And so 0:32:22.720 --> 0:32:26.520 I had to have radioactive iodine treatments and one didn't 0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:26.880 work for me. 0:32:26.920 --> 0:32:29.000 I had to have three, which is super rare. 0:32:30.480 --> 0:32:33.000 And so now I'm hypo, which means I don't create 0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:35.600 enough for the home, right. I have very slow metabolism, 0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:42.040 which tired brain fall. It can affect your memory, your joints. 0:32:42.120 --> 0:32:45.160 Like I was cold all the time and neemic, so 0:32:45.280 --> 0:32:47.760 all these things. But once I did that clean and 0:32:47.840 --> 0:32:51.400 started eating vegan, I was just like, I haven't felt. 0:32:51.080 --> 0:32:52.800 This good in a long time. 0:32:54.080 --> 0:32:57.000 Health as well, it is, yeah, and I'm glad that 0:32:57.040 --> 0:32:58.720 you were smart enough to be like, hey, let me 0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:01.360 go get this checked out because something's not right. Because 0:33:01.360 --> 0:33:03.040 a lot of times we let things just fly because 0:33:03.040 --> 0:33:05.160 we can still move around. I'm good, I'm good, but 0:33:05.240 --> 0:33:08.080 you know something isn't right. You have to trust listen 0:33:08.080 --> 0:33:09.920 and listen to your body. Yes. 0:33:10.040 --> 0:33:13.600 Yeah, and it's crazy, like I knew I knew someone 0:33:13.680 --> 0:33:15.560 to write just from the weight loss. 0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:18.240 I threw up one day. I never get sick, yeah, 0:33:18.280 --> 0:33:20.840 but I went to three or four doctors and they 0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:22.120 all were like nothing's wrong with you. 0:33:23.200 --> 0:33:25.400 Nothing's wrong with you. I woke up one day and 0:33:25.440 --> 0:33:28.360 my eyes had were bulging. Or my brother looked at me. 0:33:28.400 --> 0:33:30.240 He was like, why your throat so big? 0:33:30.400 --> 0:33:30.520 Right? 0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:33.320 And I had to develop on a small quarterer And 0:33:33.400 --> 0:33:36.440 my brother was the one that was like, wow, you 0:33:36.520 --> 0:33:38.360 got a quarter and that's how they figured out what 0:33:38.440 --> 0:33:38.720 was wrong. 0:33:38.920 --> 0:33:43.840 Oh my god, I'm glad. Your brother was like, hey, sis, yeah, 0:33:44.320 --> 0:33:47.640 I mean he was looking at reading a joke for sure, right. 0:33:49.960 --> 0:33:53.080 So yeah, but you you know, like our healthcare system, 0:33:53.200 --> 0:33:54.400 especially with black people, and. 0:33:54.520 --> 0:33:56.719 That's why you said they sent four people. It was like, oh, 0:33:56.760 --> 0:33:57.440 you're fine, you're. 0:33:57.320 --> 0:33:59.800 Finding wrong with you, Like you know, I guess we 0:34:00.000 --> 0:34:01.880 superhuman out of this face, Like that's what that thing 0:34:02.160 --> 0:34:05.120 bothers us. So yeah, we have to listen to our 0:34:05.120 --> 0:34:07.240 body and demand and go back and go back. Like 0:34:07.280 --> 0:34:09.920 I watched my mom deal with that for almost twenty years. 0:34:10.000 --> 0:34:10.440 Wow. 0:34:10.480 --> 0:34:12.960 And I look back and I tell her all the time, 0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:16.720 I wish that we were more supportive, you know, of 0:34:16.840 --> 0:34:18.560 how you were feeling and what you were going through. 0:34:19.160 --> 0:34:20.120 Doctor, doctor, doctor. 0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:22.320 Doctor would be like, yo, the doctor said, nothing's wrong, 0:34:22.400 --> 0:34:27.399 and she's like, no, something something's wrong, Yes, right, so yeah, 0:34:27.640 --> 0:34:27.960 it was. 0:34:28.040 --> 0:34:29.080 It was a good reminder. 0:34:30.320 --> 0:34:32.799 I love that. I love that the police don't cry 0:34:32.880 --> 0:34:37.600 to her. I got to see this live, and what 0:34:37.640 --> 0:34:39.240 I'm seeing is like, this is one of your most 0:34:39.320 --> 0:34:43.840 trans your most transparent albums. What inspired this? And like, 0:34:43.880 --> 0:34:45.520 what made you say? You know what, I'm really going 0:34:45.600 --> 0:34:46.799 to just put it out there. 0:34:48.680 --> 0:34:50.320 I wanted to grow in that way. I wanted to 0:34:50.400 --> 0:34:53.680 have a better connection with my fans. You know, we 0:34:53.920 --> 0:34:58.560 sometimes in our process of like, yo, why aren't I 0:34:58.640 --> 0:34:59.960 more well received? 0:35:00.480 --> 0:35:00.640 Right? 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:03.520 And it's always a self I try to be self 0:35:03.520 --> 0:35:07.400 reflective with it and not projected out on other people. 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.319 And it was like, Okay, maybe you make it too 0:35:10.360 --> 0:35:13.920 hard for people to break down your lyrics. It's you're 0:35:14.000 --> 0:35:16.560 so lyrical. That's why in the beginning it was heavy 0:35:16.760 --> 0:35:20.400 men fan based, when women like we operate sometimes for 0:35:20.560 --> 0:35:24.520 more emotionals. Yeah, and you know, I don't people don't 0:35:24.560 --> 0:35:26.439 want to think like they think all day at work, 0:35:26.520 --> 0:35:28.360 so I don't want to think too hard to break 0:35:28.400 --> 0:35:30.840 down all these lyrics. So it's just like, you know, 0:35:31.920 --> 0:35:34.560 I'm already in this healing phase and for me, when 0:35:34.600 --> 0:35:36.880 you do music, it should be a snapshot of your life. 0:35:37.560 --> 0:35:42.040 So you're already in this space, like just documented. But 0:35:42.120 --> 0:35:47.160 it was scary to put out, like I'm a private person. 0:35:47.000 --> 0:35:50.200 Very girl don't know except for your music. I was like, 0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:52.920 this girl is like under the radar. 0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:56.799 Like and when I thought like I was sharing things 0:35:56.800 --> 0:35:59.720 with my music, I realized, like, no, you were hiding 0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:02.200 the thing so deep in your lyrics, and it was 0:36:02.239 --> 0:36:05.839 because you were afraid for people to see you like 0:36:05.960 --> 0:36:08.640 I was. You know, I tell people like, I'm at 0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:10.520 the space now. I even want to go by my 0:36:10.680 --> 0:36:13.120 real name because I don't need rhaps City anymore. She 0:36:13.200 --> 0:36:14.520 was a protection from Marlana. 0:36:14.760 --> 0:36:16.359 Wow what I'm saying, Like. 0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:21.399 I understand where I was, you know, like I talk 0:36:21.440 --> 0:36:23.360 about a lot of things on the album, talk about abortion, 0:36:23.520 --> 0:36:26.480 I talk about, you know, having a relationship with a 0:36:26.480 --> 0:36:30.560 married man, my first experience, my one time experience with 0:36:30.600 --> 0:36:34.080 a woman, like it's you know, Alzheimer's, you know, family, 0:36:35.200 --> 0:36:37.880 you know the hard times that I go through personally 0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:40.840 with the music industry. You know, I'm gonna show up always, 0:36:40.840 --> 0:36:44.239 and you know you talk like loving let anybody see 0:36:44.239 --> 0:36:46.400 your car, see your weakness, so you. 0:36:46.400 --> 0:36:48.120 Know, but at home, like you say, like we're going 0:36:48.200 --> 0:36:48.760 through things. 0:36:48.840 --> 0:36:52.600 So it was like, the only way you can have 0:36:52.600 --> 0:36:55.120 a better connection with people is they have to see 0:36:55.120 --> 0:36:56.520 that you're human, you know. 0:36:56.800 --> 0:36:59.879 And it took my friends circle to get me there. 0:37:00.600 --> 0:37:08.239 Yeah, like two two three. Really, Misa Hilton was one 0:37:06.800 --> 0:37:11.480 of my friend Rayna Biddy, who's a poet that's annihilate 0:37:11.480 --> 0:37:15.040 than you know. During that phase, they were like my guys. 0:37:15.719 --> 0:37:19.919 They taught me so much about self reflection, about manipulation, 0:37:20.760 --> 0:37:24.960 about fear, and I had a lot of unlearning to 0:37:25.000 --> 0:37:28.719 do and relearning. But you know, it was a pandemic. 0:37:29.280 --> 0:37:32.239 I was just in the house just pouring out poorn out, 0:37:32.680 --> 0:37:36.520 like I had two album ideas before. I just you know, 0:37:36.600 --> 0:37:40.399 the pandemic you sit still and again TV was off 0:37:40.440 --> 0:37:42.160 and it was just like all these things that I 0:37:42.239 --> 0:37:46.359 was hoarding and holding, it just came in researchace and 0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:49.160 I just put it out in the music and I 0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:49.640 was just. 0:37:49.560 --> 0:37:54.279 Like, this is this is the album. Yeah, you know. 0:37:55.680 --> 0:37:56.160 So good. 0:37:57.160 --> 0:37:59.520 You want to grow, you have to do the hard things, 0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:03.480 And it's the best decision that I made that I 0:38:03.520 --> 0:38:03.920 had to make. 0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:07.120 It scared, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you. 0:38:07.040 --> 0:38:09.080 Know, it was like I'm afraid of the world to 0:38:09.160 --> 0:38:13.000 judge me. But I learned that nobody is perfect, you know. 0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:15.200 And what I learned and putting out these albums, a 0:38:15.200 --> 0:38:16.760 lot of people have been through a lot of things. 0:38:16.600 --> 0:38:17.279 That you've been through. 0:38:18.280 --> 0:38:19.920 You can say I'll never do that and never do 0:38:19.960 --> 0:38:21.840 that until you're in a situation and you're like, I 0:38:21.880 --> 0:38:24.600 don't know how I got here. I'm not happy about 0:38:24.600 --> 0:38:26.920 this decision I made, but I got to learn from 0:38:26.920 --> 0:38:29.239 the experience and I got to share it and hopefully 0:38:29.560 --> 0:38:31.840 you know it's a guy for somebody else, you know, 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.759 or healing from somebody else, So you know. 0:38:35.000 --> 0:38:36.919 I love it. I love And I could tell by 0:38:37.719 --> 0:38:41.480 just the crowd participation and how everybody was singing a 0:38:41.560 --> 0:38:45.399 lyric for a lyric right there with you, how they 0:38:45.440 --> 0:38:48.680 resonate with it. That was proof that you opening up 0:38:48.920 --> 0:38:51.240 and they've been resonating with you. But that the passion 0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:54.719 that the people were rapping. I was like, oh, I 0:38:54.719 --> 0:38:57.719 could feel it, like you could literally like feel it 0:38:57.840 --> 0:38:58.520 in the room. 0:38:58.719 --> 0:39:02.440 It was so dope. I'll have my internet is I 0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:03.000 can't hear it? 0:39:03.160 --> 0:39:05.520 Yeah, I know when I put my literally can't hear anything. 0:39:05.560 --> 0:39:07.719 I'm like, but you can feel it though, you can 0:39:07.760 --> 0:39:09.920 like feel the vibrations of the energy they were It 0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:12.480 was crazy. Actually, I'm going to show you when we wrapped, 0:39:12.719 --> 0:39:14.400 I had some I'm sure you've seen the footage, but 0:39:14.680 --> 0:39:17.600 when you went into the crowd and all the cameras 0:39:17.600 --> 0:39:19.480 were on you, it was so dope. I was like, 0:39:19.520 --> 0:39:20.920 this is when she went into the crowd. 0:39:21.280 --> 0:39:23.279 I was like, this is a rock star right here. 0:39:23.719 --> 0:39:25.200 We started that in Chicago. 0:39:25.520 --> 0:39:28.280 Like I was on stage and they were so crazy 0:39:28.880 --> 0:39:30.600 and jopped my playback engineer. 0:39:30.640 --> 0:39:32.320 He was in my ear. He was like, you gotta 0:39:32.400 --> 0:39:37.000 go in the crowd. I was like, what go in 0:39:37.040 --> 0:39:37.600 the crowd? 0:39:39.640 --> 0:39:43.640 It was They loved that, Yeah, it was. I was like, wait, 0:39:43.680 --> 0:39:45.680 where is she? I was like, she's in the. 0:39:45.520 --> 0:39:46.279 Crowd right now. 0:39:46.480 --> 0:39:48.839 They laughed at me because security came at one point. 0:39:48.840 --> 0:39:51.240 They were like, and I told him, I mushed myself 0:39:51.239 --> 0:39:54.200 move with the people. 0:39:54.360 --> 0:39:57.680 Yeah right, we don't even track that kind of all exactly. 0:39:57.640 --> 0:39:58.960 They're not going to do exactly. 0:39:59.320 --> 0:39:59.600 Yeah. 0:40:00.200 --> 0:40:03.360 No, this album has been It's the most important and 0:40:03.440 --> 0:40:05.000 my favorite album of my career. 0:40:05.239 --> 0:40:08.120 I love it. I love that. Speaking of your album, 0:40:08.160 --> 0:40:09.960 and then you talked about so many things on your 0:40:10.000 --> 0:40:14.200 album and you are such a mystery is there? Like 0:40:14.520 --> 0:40:16.799 how do I need to know? Maybe give me some 0:40:16.880 --> 0:40:18.440 tips on do you have like are you in a 0:40:18.440 --> 0:40:21.839 relationship or is there like any love that is going on? 0:40:21.920 --> 0:40:25.279 How do you keep it private? Because like I kept 0:40:25.280 --> 0:40:28.240 that one I shouldn't have been in private for nine years. 0:40:31.080 --> 0:40:31.920 It was horrible. 0:40:32.280 --> 0:40:33.040 Yeah, like. 0:40:35.320 --> 0:40:37.360 I've been single now almost five years. 0:40:37.400 --> 0:40:37.720 Wow. 0:40:37.920 --> 0:40:42.759 Yeah, but like retro going back that one relationship I 0:40:42.840 --> 0:40:43.520 was in nine. 0:40:43.400 --> 0:40:48.560 Years shouldn't have been in. Yeah. I ain't gonna get 0:40:48.600 --> 0:40:50.399 too deep in yeah, you know, but you know how 0:40:50.400 --> 0:40:53.200 it goes like I was. I never do that. 0:40:53.600 --> 0:40:56.800 You know, somebody tells you like, oh, that's not really 0:40:56.840 --> 0:41:00.799 what my situation is they you know, like and you 0:41:00.840 --> 0:41:04.760 find yourself stuck, right, especially because I was a people 0:41:04.840 --> 0:41:07.640 person and because I put other people's feelings in emotion 0:41:07.800 --> 0:41:10.640 before my own. It was like I have to be 0:41:10.719 --> 0:41:14.040 there for you, I can't be there for myself. I 0:41:14.160 --> 0:41:17.000 be in a shower sometimes crime because I felt so 0:41:17.200 --> 0:41:18.439 bad about what I was doing. 0:41:18.480 --> 0:41:20.080 But you know, it was. 0:41:21.640 --> 0:41:27.359 Only hotels, you know, you know, movies looking like yeah, 0:41:28.680 --> 0:41:32.520 but I ain't in a relationship, so it's not I 0:41:32.520 --> 0:41:36.680 don't I don't have Are you open to one? 0:41:36.920 --> 0:41:38.320 So what would be your because I would like to 0:41:38.320 --> 0:41:41.480 ask you what the what's their love language? Out of 0:41:41.520 --> 0:41:43.840 the five, like, what's rats love language? 0:41:46.480 --> 0:41:50.879 I think words of affirmation? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love 0:41:50.920 --> 0:41:51.239 that one. 0:41:51.600 --> 0:41:52.720 Mine is all of them. 0:41:53.200 --> 0:41:57.160 I wanted to say that give me everything. 0:41:58.160 --> 0:42:00.720 I want to touch. I want to as a reformation, 0:42:01.560 --> 0:42:09.080 I want that. What's the what's that love? Guess? Yes, 0:42:09.120 --> 0:42:14.200 somebody said guess twice, but guess. I really liked that one. 0:42:14.520 --> 0:42:17.480 Like that one in touch I love and I'm a 0:42:17.560 --> 0:42:21.120 very touching person, so I love touch. So yeah, all 0:42:21.160 --> 0:42:21.520 of them. 0:42:21.600 --> 0:42:24.800 I'm learning to be more affectionate in that way. Yeah, 0:42:24.840 --> 0:42:27.320 Like I grew up with my mom and dad. 0:42:27.120 --> 0:42:29.719 And not affectionate a lot of people, like a lot 0:42:29.760 --> 0:42:32.040 of us, Like my parents definitely showed affection in front 0:42:32.080 --> 0:42:34.279 of me, so like I'm very much like yeah, but 0:42:34.880 --> 0:42:38.160 like guys that I've dated before were not, and it 0:42:38.239 --> 0:42:39.759 was kind of like why are you touching me? And 0:42:39.800 --> 0:42:46.280 I'm like like like stop, And then they realized, Oh, 0:42:46.520 --> 0:42:48.920 when you start to do the work and realize where 0:42:48.920 --> 0:42:51.359 these certain like triggers come from, it's like, oh, now 0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:51.879 I get it. 0:42:52.200 --> 0:42:57.279 Yeah. Yeah, my mom and dad they show different. My 0:42:57.280 --> 0:42:59.560 mom likes to do things, she's acting service. 0:43:00.200 --> 0:43:00.920 That's the other one that. 0:43:02.400 --> 0:43:08.439 Was clean, make sure clothes, like you know, I'm anna 0:43:08.440 --> 0:43:12.080 pay for somebody to come cut the grass, things like that, 0:43:13.960 --> 0:43:16.640 I would say my dad it's the same way in 0:43:16.719 --> 0:43:19.759 his older age, he's a lot more words of affirmation, 0:43:20.640 --> 0:43:26.200 like that's cute. But I had to learn, Like it 0:43:26.239 --> 0:43:27.759 took me a while to say I love you. I 0:43:27.760 --> 0:43:30.839 remember the first time my mom told me, like said it. 0:43:31.239 --> 0:43:33.719 I felt so uncomfortable. Like me and my sisters talk 0:43:33.760 --> 0:43:36.080 about it all the time, and we always knew that 0:43:36.120 --> 0:43:38.719 we would love and we have great parents, but like 0:43:39.040 --> 0:43:42.960 for them to be like I love y'all, yeah, that's weird. 0:43:45.000 --> 0:43:46.319 But I've come to. 0:43:47.760 --> 0:43:49.960 I say it a lot to my friends now, like 0:43:50.200 --> 0:43:53.040 they've helped made me comfortable. My relationship in the past 0:43:53.080 --> 0:43:56.000 have made me comfortable that. But yeah, no, I'm I'm 0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:59.319 open to dating. I asked me, like, how do you 0:43:59.400 --> 0:44:02.600 date like me and you? I'm like, it's a new 0:44:02.719 --> 0:44:09.120 it's so hard, Like no one the dating pool us girl, we. 0:44:09.160 --> 0:44:10.680 Just I just had tragedy. 0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:14.040 A conversation with that is so bad tragedy. I was like, 0:44:14.200 --> 0:44:17.960 I don't I don't really go out like that. I'm 0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:20.000 not a club girl. I don't even know where to 0:44:20.040 --> 0:44:22.360 go I don't, you know, you're. 0:44:22.280 --> 0:44:23.280 Just always in the industry. 0:44:23.360 --> 0:44:26.080 Somebody was like, I know you got some money in 0:44:26.200 --> 0:44:28.239 d MS. I was like, ain't nobody in my dam 0:44:29.360 --> 0:44:33.360 there's like I said, the only the only people in 0:44:33.400 --> 0:44:35.640 my d M or married men people. 0:44:35.680 --> 0:44:38.560 I'm not. I don't want to say that, but yes, 0:44:39.120 --> 0:44:39.560 I said. 0:44:40.680 --> 0:44:42.880 I'm like, now look at you, look at me, and 0:44:42.920 --> 0:44:45.279 then look at you again. It asked yourself, why are 0:44:45.320 --> 0:44:45.920 you here? 0:44:49.000 --> 0:44:51.880 And one of my homeboys that was like, tell you 0:44:51.880 --> 0:44:53.960 what your problem is? I was like, what is my problem? 0:44:54.600 --> 0:44:58.319 He was like people men, men know that they have 0:44:58.400 --> 0:45:00.719 to come correct. Yes, and a lot of them know 0:45:00.760 --> 0:45:02.640 that they ain't coming correct, so they're not gonna step 0:45:02.680 --> 0:45:02.880 to you. 0:45:03.640 --> 0:45:07.000 Oh yeah, that's like probably ninety percent of them. Yes, 0:45:07.520 --> 0:45:08.520 I can't play with this one. 0:45:08.760 --> 0:45:09.080 Yeah. 0:45:09.239 --> 0:45:09.759 Yeah. 0:45:09.800 --> 0:45:10.560 And then you know, like. 0:45:12.000 --> 0:45:13.720 In the last one and a half year, I've probably 0:45:13.760 --> 0:45:16.920 been taking on maybe two or three dates. 0:45:17.600 --> 0:45:20.040 But they y' all be the young boy and girl I. 0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:22.839 Can't do nothing with you, be like, but age ain't nothing. 0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:26.160 But I'd be like, you're an actor. 0:45:27.800 --> 0:45:29.000 And you young, no. 0:45:28.960 --> 0:45:32.239 Baby, no. Not In that season, I like I went 0:45:32.280 --> 0:45:34.440 through that phase where it's like everybody that's coming. He 0:45:34.560 --> 0:45:37.960 was like, twenty eight thirty one. I'm like, yo, twenty six, 0:45:38.200 --> 0:45:40.000 what am I? What am I gonna do with you? 0:45:40.000 --> 0:45:42.640 You're young? And my little brother like, I can't. 0:45:43.239 --> 0:45:44.560 I was talking to this guy. 0:45:46.160 --> 0:45:49.279 And he probably see this because I never said, but 0:45:49.360 --> 0:45:51.560 I'm giving you attention, so you should know, like I 0:45:51.600 --> 0:45:52.200 think you're. 0:45:52.040 --> 0:45:55.600 Cool, right, And he was like, Yo, what shows you watching? 0:45:55.760 --> 0:45:57.799 I was like, I ain't watching a lot, but in 0:45:57.840 --> 0:45:59.760 the last years he's been my favorite. 0:46:00.719 --> 0:46:02.439 He sent me a listening. He had the Jamie Fox 0:46:02.440 --> 0:46:05.319 showing it and I was just looking at it. Then 0:46:05.440 --> 0:46:09.839 Jamie Fox, how was he Jamie Fox? Does he still 0:46:09.840 --> 0:46:11.160 come on through that? 0:46:11.520 --> 0:46:11.719 Yes? 0:46:11.960 --> 0:46:19.160 Like season one to whatever it was? Yeah, what to 0:46:19.320 --> 0:46:28.600 do with that? Sir? The Jamie Fox Show? Shout out, 0:46:28.680 --> 0:46:32.120 Jamie love that show? But what now? 0:46:33.880 --> 0:46:42.719 In the year by Lord twenty twenty four, the fact 0:46:42.760 --> 0:46:44.840 he was like, I was looking like. 0:46:44.320 --> 0:46:47.480 Like now, I'm not gonna say that because they play 0:46:48.560 --> 0:46:49.960 like all day and that's. 0:46:50.280 --> 0:46:52.800 Girls like just just be heard it. 0:46:52.920 --> 0:46:57.880 Give it a chance, Like he was like, that is 0:46:58.000 --> 0:47:01.640 so funny. I love it. I love it. Oh my goodness, 0:47:01.640 --> 0:47:03.960 a rap. I want to play a little game with you. 0:47:04.040 --> 0:47:05.719 I don't know how good. I'm gonna be at this, 0:47:05.800 --> 0:47:07.759 but I want to give you a word and we're 0:47:07.760 --> 0:47:11.360 gonna rap. Oh boy, we want. 0:47:11.160 --> 0:47:14.320 The freestyling game. I'm gonna wrap. Let me tell. 0:47:14.160 --> 0:47:18.839 You there's a difference in being a writer and a freestyler. 0:47:19.760 --> 0:47:20.040 Best. 0:47:20.080 --> 0:47:20.839 I'm a great writer. 0:47:20.880 --> 0:47:23.600 I'm gonna leap with the writing. Yes, give me a. 0:47:23.560 --> 0:47:26.000 Little shaky on the freestyle, but let's have fun. Let's 0:47:26.120 --> 0:47:29.600 have fun so you still kick it off me? 0:47:30.120 --> 0:47:44.759 Yeah, give us a word, surely? Okay, all right, she 0:47:44.920 --> 0:47:47.560 got to beat okay. 0:47:47.560 --> 0:47:50.440 H m yo. 0:47:52.320 --> 0:47:56.400 Two sisters talking love like the earrings my Simon and married. 0:47:56.480 --> 0:47:59.680 I got these freestyles and the words gonna carry. We 0:47:59.719 --> 0:48:02.799 can't through feeling like very white. I want to say 0:48:02.800 --> 0:48:05.319 a song he sings, but I don't know, like I 0:48:05.320 --> 0:48:08.239 don't know any boy. I ain't got no mike for 0:48:08.480 --> 0:48:10.520 more word. I can keep this tight. 0:48:10.640 --> 0:48:14.800 I don't know. 0:48:16.320 --> 0:48:17.960 Nothing bad. Give me word. 0:48:18.520 --> 0:48:20.520 Oh god, I can't believe I'm about to do this. 0:48:22.040 --> 0:48:26.800 Oh this is the negro of me? What is this? Fitness? 0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:29.960 That's a weird word to wrap about. 0:48:30.400 --> 0:48:42.200 Okay, okay, I'm in my fitness bag, a witness. Yeah, 0:48:42.600 --> 0:48:48.759 never snitching, never had a yeah, never brass up. 0:48:54.680 --> 0:48:55.080 Music. 0:48:55.800 --> 0:48:56.160 Music. 0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:59.120 Okay, what is this? 0:48:59.640 --> 0:49:00.200 What is? 0:49:01.360 --> 0:49:02.560 And that's your joint right there? 0:49:02.560 --> 0:49:09.080 That's how music. Yeah, music is the way I sing. 0:49:09.960 --> 0:49:15.320 Music is the melody to my heart from the start. 0:49:16.040 --> 0:49:20.000 I hope you with me and never part apart. The music, 0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:24.640 the one that David danced make me want to wave 0:49:24.719 --> 0:49:27.359 my hands, my hand, Hey, praise. 0:49:27.080 --> 0:49:30.200 Of high, Yeah, most high, put. 0:49:30.000 --> 0:49:32.960 My hands to the sky for the Lord. Yeah. When 0:49:33.000 --> 0:49:36.400 I sing, then I rapped. Yeah, I got my girl 0:49:36.520 --> 0:49:41.280 wrapped right here on the what Yeah, we're rapping music. 0:49:41.680 --> 0:49:43.879 I'm not even rhyming. That's what I. 0:49:43.800 --> 0:49:54.280 Do here, Yo, what's your again? 0:49:58.480 --> 0:49:58.880 Murder? 0:49:59.160 --> 0:50:01.800 You know you heard heard us somebody on the floor. 0:50:01.840 --> 0:50:08.640 That's what she did to the versus connected like sisters 0:50:08.680 --> 0:50:11.279 in cursive and if you want to see it, we're 0:50:11.320 --> 0:50:12.280 bringing the worsted. 0:50:14.760 --> 0:50:16.160 It'll be like rap. 0:50:15.960 --> 0:50:21.440 You suck never girl ever, I don't even aren't going together. 0:50:22.160 --> 0:50:24.000 Oh my god, Sis, thank you so much. 0:50:24.280 --> 0:50:24.879 That was fun. 0:50:25.280 --> 0:50:27.560 I appreciate you. I learned so much more about you. 0:50:28.160 --> 0:50:30.600 I know you guys, did I appreciate you so much 0:50:30.600 --> 0:50:35.359 and keep going. Yes, there's more to know about bees. 0:50:35.440 --> 0:50:38.120 So I gotta come back, Yes, please please come back. 0:50:38.239 --> 0:50:40.920 I love your energy and you were always welcome. 0:50:41.040 --> 0:50:43.239 Seriously, we're gonna be the kitchen dick Son yep. 0:50:44.000 --> 0:50:49.400 Make the walnut tacos, yep, the plant based BigGAN dishes, 0:50:50.239 --> 0:50:52.359 all the things. I got my grinder and some water 0:50:52.480 --> 0:50:55.480 for the walnuts. I got some cumin and little girlic. 0:50:56.160 --> 0:51:02.239 You were happy about that, you know, all right? You 0:51:02.400 --> 0:51:06.400 like girt to tastes just like some ground turkey. Yeah, because. 0:51:11.280 --> 0:51:11.880 I ain't gonna do it. 0:51:12.280 --> 0:51:16.359 That is that be so cruel like Okay. 0:51:18.120 --> 0:51:26.280 It's the latest on oh Man, thank you seriously. 0:51:26.600 --> 0:51:27.680 I appreciate. 0:51:32.280 --> 0:51:35.400 My conversation today with RAPSI really got me thinking. And 0:51:35.520 --> 0:51:38.120 something that really stuck out to me was when she 0:51:38.239 --> 0:51:41.440 said something about boundaries. Boundaries is so important to me, 0:51:41.800 --> 0:51:44.799 and she said, where do you cross your line? What 0:51:44.920 --> 0:51:47.280 is the line that you are not willing to cross? 0:51:47.520 --> 0:51:49.200 And that's something that I want to challenge you all. 0:51:49.280 --> 0:51:51.799 Whatever it is that you're trying to do, make sure 0:51:51.840 --> 0:51:53.520 that you have a line that you are not willing 0:51:53.520 --> 0:51:56.000 to cross, because if you don't stand for something, you'll 0:51:56.000 --> 0:52:04.880 fall for anything. Rhapsody came through with all the positive vibes, 0:52:05.160 --> 0:52:07.200 and I hope you failt them because I sure did 0:52:07.560 --> 0:52:09.359 If you want to share your thoughts on today's show, 0:52:09.400 --> 0:52:12.040 you can follow me on all social media platforms at 0:52:12.040 --> 0:52:15.080 Love Christophernee and you can also follow our show at 0:52:15.160 --> 0:52:17.640 keep It Positive, Sweetie. If you want to write into 0:52:17.680 --> 0:52:20.440 our Positive Outcomes listener letter, you can send us an 0:52:20.440 --> 0:52:23.920 email at keep It Positivesweete at gmail dot com. In 0:52:24.000 --> 0:52:26.560 the meantime, in between time you know what to do. 0:52:27.000 --> 0:52:29.359 Keep it Positive, Sweety. I'll see you guys next time.