WEBVTT - Bonus: Listener Stories, Episode 4

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<v Speaker 1>Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that

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<v Speaker 1>are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others,

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<v Speaker 1>and the secrets we keep from ourselves. As I tore

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<v Speaker 1>the nation from my book Inheritance, I've heard from so

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<v Speaker 1>many about your own family secrets and realize that what

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<v Speaker 1>we are creating for each other on this podcast is

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<v Speaker 1>a community, a community for those who are looking for

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<v Speaker 1>a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end,

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<v Speaker 1>we've created a number for listeners to call in to

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<v Speaker 1>record stories to share here in this space. This week,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to share a few of those stories from

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<v Speaker 1>our community. Thanks for listening. I just want to say

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for having this podcast. It's really really interesting

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm not the only one that holds a secret.

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<v Speaker 1>I am holding a secret from my daughter, myself, my family.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess. UM. I don't know if my ex is

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<v Speaker 1>my twenty year old daughters father. UM. We always said

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<v Speaker 1>keep it as what it was. I had my daughter. UM,

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<v Speaker 1>my husband took over the role. He doesn't even know.

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<v Speaker 1>I just never told anyone. I looked at her. She

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<v Speaker 1>looks like my husband. But the guy that I was

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<v Speaker 1>with also looks like my husband. UM, just you know,

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<v Speaker 1>different pigments UM in the skin talk the lighter and

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<v Speaker 1>I've never talked about it, UM, but with one person,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was him, the the one that I think

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<v Speaker 1>is my daughter's father. At the time, he was going

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<v Speaker 1>to do eight years and and and the penitential and

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<v Speaker 1>UM be broken off. And back then it was something

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<v Speaker 1>called Humphrey eleven pills and it wasn't the morning after

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<v Speaker 1>UM and I took those and I ended up finding

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<v Speaker 1>out I was partner and I kept my daughter. She's

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<v Speaker 1>the love of my life. UM. But she would be

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<v Speaker 1>devastated is she found out that her dad wasn't really

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<v Speaker 1>her dad, which is Micaelspin. My husband would be deadist

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<v Speaker 1>devastated as well. I would be devastated. I wouldn't even

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<v Speaker 1>know what to do with myself. Mom. We've had a

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<v Speaker 1>fabulous life. I just figured I would just botle degree

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<v Speaker 1>about it, UM, write a letter and if they find

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<v Speaker 1>it one day, they find it. If they don't, then

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<v Speaker 1>it will be the way it will be for the

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<v Speaker 1>rest of the life. UM. I thought about doing UM ancestry,

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<v Speaker 1>but that just makes me want to vomit. I can't

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<v Speaker 1>even bathom what I would do if I would find

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<v Speaker 1>that out. But again, thank you so much. Have a

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<v Speaker 1>great day, and thanks for listening to my story. Hi.

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<v Speaker 1>I have two secrets. One is when I learned a

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<v Speaker 1>while ago and another one that I learned more recently.

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<v Speaker 1>And the first one is that UM, I have an

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<v Speaker 1>aunt who was married to a man who um was

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<v Speaker 1>actually probably a large percentage African American. But that was

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<v Speaker 1>a big deal secret in the family, and um he

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<v Speaker 1>told his wife, and his wife told her sister, who

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<v Speaker 1>was my mom. And I only found out when I

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<v Speaker 1>was maybe in my twenties, and it was a huge

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<v Speaker 1>big deal for my mom to tell me this, and

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<v Speaker 1>he forre me to secrecy. And I never told my cousins,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're not close. There's been a lot of trouble

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<v Speaker 1>in our family, and I don't I don't talk to them,

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<v Speaker 1>but I know where they are and I know how

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<v Speaker 1>to reach them, and I'm very tempted to call or

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<v Speaker 1>to text member leave them an email or something and

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<v Speaker 1>tell them. But if they were genetic testing, they'll find

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<v Speaker 1>out on their own. But then the man was the

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<v Speaker 1>father of my uncle was passing as why that he was.

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<v Speaker 1>If you look at the pictures their wedding, you can

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<v Speaker 1>really kind of thing that it wasn't he might have

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<v Speaker 1>been myding Stern or whatever. But I know it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>pretty interesting to me. It's not a big deal, but

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<v Speaker 1>it was like terribly shameful to my mom and apparently

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<v Speaker 1>to her sister as well. The second secret is that

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<v Speaker 1>I am a large percentage asking I'm Jewish, and my

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<v Speaker 1>father and his first wife we're both um we're both

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<v Speaker 1>a really large percentage Jewish. And I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>they ever even talked about to to each other, because

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<v Speaker 1>it was kind of a thing that their families wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to set um. Both sides came from Germany, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think it had been it had been like a very

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<v Speaker 1>difficult Jewish in Germany, and I think a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people just wanted to forget that they were. So I

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<v Speaker 1>was surprised to find out that the percentage is so high,

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<v Speaker 1>but that was it. So thank you. I'm really enjoying

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast so much. Take care of why him. My

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<v Speaker 1>family secret is that, Um, I grew up not looking

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<v Speaker 1>like my dad. My dad is a very small, petite man.

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<v Speaker 1>His dad was a jockey. I don't look anything like him.

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<v Speaker 1>He had dark hair, dark guys, I'm flong with blue eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>And Um, when I came home from college, I was

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<v Speaker 1>watching one of those Maury Povich, you know, he's not

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<v Speaker 1>my dad DNA testing shows, and I was joking with

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<v Speaker 1>my mom and I said, oh, you know, like maybe

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<v Speaker 1>I'm adopted, just joking around and or you know, I said, boy,

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<v Speaker 1>I look like you, but not like dad. And she

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<v Speaker 1>admitted to me that she had been married, UM in

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<v Speaker 1>her early twenties. UM, she's been married to someone who

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<v Speaker 1>was in the Coastguard and that the relationship wasn't working out,

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<v Speaker 1>and while he was at see she wrote him a

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<v Speaker 1>letter and packed up her things and moved back to

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<v Speaker 1>the town that I live in now. UM immediately got

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<v Speaker 1>together with my dad, who was her high school sweetheart

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<v Speaker 1>and he raised me. On the age of five, he

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<v Speaker 1>started really getting bad into drugs and he was a

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<v Speaker 1>heroine at it. UM around the time that my mom

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<v Speaker 1>told me that, you know, there's that she was married

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<v Speaker 1>to another man, and there's a possibility that this man

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<v Speaker 1>was my father. UM, my dad had recently gotten off

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<v Speaker 1>drugs and we had started rebuilding our relationships so I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't really look too much further into it. I did

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<v Speaker 1>an ancestry DNA test um like so many other people,

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<v Speaker 1>I did find out that I was not related genetically

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<v Speaker 1>my father and instead was related to another man. I

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<v Speaker 1>was linked to a first cousin. I reached out to

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<v Speaker 1>that person um getting here back. I reached out to

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<v Speaker 1>another person on Instagram of all things, who was an aunt,

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<v Speaker 1>and she did get back to me UM and kind

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<v Speaker 1>of confirmed things and let me know that my biological

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<v Speaker 1>father is not interested in having a relationship with me.

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, he UM is a very conservative Republican and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm married to a woman, so I think that that

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<v Speaker 1>would probably be a big issue. But you know, it

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<v Speaker 1>was kind of hard for me, and it's still as

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<v Speaker 1>hard to come to terms with the fact that this

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<v Speaker 1>person that is my biological father is not even interested

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<v Speaker 1>in meeting me. So that's my family's secret. If you'd

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<v Speaker 1>like to share your story, call one eight eight eight

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<v Speaker 1>Secret zero and record your story. We won't be able

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<v Speaker 1>to run all the stories, but we do want to

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<v Speaker 1>shine a light on as many as we can. The

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<v Speaker 1>number again is one eight eight eight Secret and then

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<v Speaker 1>the numeral zero For more podcasts, for my heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.