WEBVTT - SO...NUCLEAR WAR ON TUESDAY? - 4.6.26

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<v Speaker 1>Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. So

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<v Speaker 1>nuclear War on Tuesday, the other part of dementia J

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<v Speaker 1>Trump's vile, multi religion blasphemous Easter post, not the he

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<v Speaker 1>is Effen Risen part. The other part is the operative part,

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<v Speaker 1>and the follow up post is the meaningful post. Tuesday

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<v Speaker 1>will be power plant day, he wrote, and Bridge day.

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<v Speaker 1>There will be nothing like it, he wrote, You'll be

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<v Speaker 1>living in hell, he wrote. Just watch, he wrote, and

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<v Speaker 1>he followed it four hours and thirty five minutes later

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<v Speaker 1>by writing, quote Tuesday, eight pm Eastern time, you left

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<v Speaker 1>out the be there Aloha. And in between, interspersed with

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<v Speaker 1>more of his new dial a stenographer calls to quote

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<v Speaker 1>reporters unquote with insane observations like if there's no deal today,

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<v Speaker 1>he's quote blowing up the whole country ABC, or I

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<v Speaker 1>am blowing up everything over there, axios. Or we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to bring them back to the stone ages where they belong.

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<v Speaker 1>From the somnambulance speech he gave last Wednesday night, this

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<v Speaker 1>is all a threat to use tactical nuclear weapons in Iran.

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<v Speaker 1>And even if it's just a threat, or even if

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<v Speaker 1>the nuclear part is hyperbole, it is still a threat

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<v Speaker 1>to use massive amounts of conventional ordinance. But Trump, of

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<v Speaker 1>course has longed to use nuclear weapons since the first

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<v Speaker 1>term because he's a sadist who wants to kill people.

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<v Speaker 1>He was asking his generals a decade ago why we

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<v Speaker 1>had them if we didn't use them, because the morals

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<v Speaker 1>and just as importantly, the repercussions of using them have

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<v Speaker 1>never occurred to him, and he truly, deeply, unshakeably believes

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<v Speaker 1>he is the first person ever to think of using

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<v Speaker 1>nuclear weapons, because he's smart and nobody else is smart.

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<v Speaker 1>He believes this just as he believes he was the

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<v Speaker 1>first person ever to think of using the government to

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<v Speaker 1>steal an election lost while he was in office, just

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<v Speaker 1>as it has not occurred to him that he would

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<v Speaker 1>be giving tacit permission to Russia to use nuclear weapons,

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<v Speaker 1>not just in Ukraine, but having first handed them to

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<v Speaker 1>Iran in response to this, to have Iran US nuclear

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<v Speaker 1>weapons in Israel if he uses nuclear weapons in Iran.

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<v Speaker 1>But he thinks that's not why it hasn't been done before.

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<v Speaker 1>He thinks it hasn't been done before because you're all stupid.

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<v Speaker 1>And of course then there's the other part Trump is

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<v Speaker 1>mentally unstable.

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<v Speaker 2>Quote.

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<v Speaker 1>I know all of you in his cabinet and him,

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<v Speaker 1>and he has gone insane, and all of you are

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<v Speaker 1>complicit unquote. Marjorie Taylor Green wrote that not two hours

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<v Speaker 1>after Trump's expletive threat. When Marjorie Taylor Green says Trump

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<v Speaker 1>is insane, guess what he's insane? Oh and a PostScript

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<v Speaker 1>from the newest member of Club Reality. Our president is

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<v Speaker 1>not a Christian, So here we are tomorrow is either

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<v Speaker 1>Taco Tuesday or thermonuclear Tuesday. All over the closure of

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<v Speaker 1>the Strait of Hormoze, which Trump caused, which Trump then

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<v Speaker 1>dismissed because he doesn't use the Strait of Hormuz, and

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<v Speaker 1>then dismissed it because he doesn't need the state of Hormuz,

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<v Speaker 1>then dismissed it because it would soon open itself open sesame,

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<v Speaker 1>and then quotes open the fucking straight, you crazy bastards,

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<v Speaker 1>because he wasn't getting his way. He doesn't know what

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<v Speaker 1>the Strait of Hormoz is. There were indications last week

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<v Speaker 1>he decided it was some sort of large supply of

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<v Speaker 1>oil or a barrel or something, or maybe somebody named Hormuz.

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<v Speaker 1>The problem other than the nuclear problem and the insanity

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<v Speaker 1>problem President Stilson, is that in thirty five days, Trump

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<v Speaker 1>has now publicly stated at least twenty eight different positions

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<v Speaker 1>about where this war is. If you think this is

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<v Speaker 1>a strategy, you must believe he is not in that

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<v Speaker 1>stage of dementia in which you not only forget what

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<v Speaker 1>you have said, not only forget how long the interval

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<v Speaker 1>has been since you last said anything, but you think

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<v Speaker 1>everybody else says all so forgotten what you said. This

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<v Speaker 1>is just the set of highlights of his opinions un

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<v Speaker 1>around since March third, on which he said, essentially we

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<v Speaker 1>won the war. On the seventh he said we defeated Iran.

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<v Speaker 1>On the ninth he said we must attack Iran. He

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<v Speaker 1>said the war is ending almost completely and very beautifully,

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<v Speaker 1>and still wanted to attack it some more. March twelfth,

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<v Speaker 1>we did win, but we haven't won completely. March thirteenth,

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<v Speaker 1>we won completely. March fourteenth, he asked for help from

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<v Speaker 1>the Allies. March fifteenth he threatened the Allies and said

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<v Speaker 1>if they didn't help, he would certainly remember. March sixteenth

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<v Speaker 1>he said, no, actually we don't need any help now.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just testing you to see who would help.

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<v Speaker 1>Who's listening to me? Ah, But if NATO doesn't help,

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<v Speaker 1>they'll suffer. I haven't decided what yet, but I'm king

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<v Speaker 1>lear here and they'll suffer something as soon as I

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<v Speaker 1>think of it. March seventeenth, he said we neither need

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<v Speaker 1>nor want NATO's help, and he also said he didn't

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<v Speaker 1>need congressional approval to withdraw from NATO, even though there's

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<v Speaker 1>a law that was put in there basically by Marco Rubio,

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<v Speaker 1>who seems to work for him now if he remembers

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<v Speaker 1>that much. March eighteenth, Trump said our allies must cooperate

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<v Speaker 1>in reopening Hormuz. On the nineteenth, he said, US allies

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<v Speaker 1>need to get a grip to step up to help

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<v Speaker 1>open the Strait of Hormuz. March twentieth, he called NATO cowards.

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<v Speaker 1>March twenty first, he said, we don't use it. We

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<v Speaker 1>don't need to open it. March twenty second, he said

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<v Speaker 1>this is the last time, and he gave Iran forty

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<v Speaker 1>eight hours and added that Iran was dead. March twenty thirty,

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<v Speaker 1>said he's going to give him more time. Forty eight

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<v Speaker 1>hours is flexible. March twenty fourth, the war is nearing

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<v Speaker 1>its end. That's the war that ended three weeks earlier.

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<v Speaker 1>March twenty fifth, we're still negotiating. March twenty sixth Iran

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<v Speaker 1>is begging for peace, and we're going to give them

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<v Speaker 1>more time. And they gave us a gift which he

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<v Speaker 1>apparently just made up out of thin air, some large

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<v Speaker 1>supply of oil. March twenty seventh, Talks with Iran are

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<v Speaker 1>going very well. March twenty eighth, the war would be

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<v Speaker 1>over soon. That's the war he declared over twice previously.

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<v Speaker 1>March twenty ninth, he said, maybe we will take carg Island,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we won't. March thirtieth, he demanded they open the

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<v Speaker 1>strait or he was going to obliterate all the energy

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<v Speaker 1>infrastructure and the oil wells. March thirty first, he said,

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<v Speaker 1>we don't need the straight We have all the oil

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<v Speaker 1>we need, but the United Kingdom needed to do something

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<v Speaker 1>about it because they didn't have any oil. It's all

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<v Speaker 1>their problem. April first, he now said the war, which

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<v Speaker 1>is declared over three times already, will be over in

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<v Speaker 1>two to three weeks. April fourth, he said Iran has

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<v Speaker 1>forty eight hours or he would rain down Hell. And

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<v Speaker 1>then yesterday April fifth, he said, in addition to saying

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<v Speaker 1>Praise be to Allah, open the fucking strait. He gave

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<v Speaker 1>them until Tuesday night, which meant that the deadline of

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<v Speaker 1>April fourth, which was April sixth, had now been extended

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<v Speaker 1>to April seventh. These are not responses to changes on

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<v Speaker 1>the ground or updates to the military scenario. These are

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<v Speaker 1>not part of the Nixonian Madman theory. At best. These

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<v Speaker 1>are the figurative RFK Junior memorial worms in Trump's brain turning.

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<v Speaker 1>Do I think He's going to nuke Iran tomorrow?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 1>Would I have thought the Japanese were really gonna bomb

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<v Speaker 1>Pearl Harbor in December nineteen forty one, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>They court martialled the General Billy Mitchell, who had insisted

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<v Speaker 1>in the twenties that they would. Billy Mitchell, he knew

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<v Speaker 1>what he was talking about the court martial. Would I

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<v Speaker 1>have thought we were going to drop full size atomic

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<v Speaker 1>weapons not once, but twice on Japan in nineteen forty five,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>And by the way, I am not.

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<v Speaker 1>Making any moral or military comparisons between either of those

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<v Speaker 1>nightmares and this nightmare, except for this one detail, and

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<v Speaker 1>one detail only. The Japanese military dictatorship in the nineteen

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<v Speaker 1>forties engaged in magical thinking. They were going to win,

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<v Speaker 1>not because they were attacking Pearl Harbor, or they had

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<v Speaker 1>the perfect defense and soldiers and civilians who were willing

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<v Speaker 1>to die to the last man on the island. They

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<v Speaker 1>were going to win because the Americans were weak Westerners

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<v Speaker 1>who had no stomach for conflict and no capacity to

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<v Speaker 1>withstand true militaristic spirit and the invincibility of the war fighter.

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<v Speaker 1>Now where have I heard that word war fighter recently?

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<v Speaker 1>This might be a good time to raise the possibility

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<v Speaker 1>that if the last ten months are re read from

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<v Speaker 1>a slightly more jaundice point of view, you could see them,

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<v Speaker 1>And this is not to excuse Trump at all, but

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<v Speaker 1>you could see them as a kind of soft military

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<v Speaker 1>overthrow of the government of the United States of America

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<v Speaker 1>by Pete Asshole Hegseeth, who fired all the minority generals,

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<v Speaker 1>who fired the generals who tried to prevent the firing

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<v Speaker 1>of the already generals, who fired all the non religious nuts,

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<v Speaker 1>who fired anybody who would stand up to the use

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<v Speaker 1>of serious weapons lack tactical nukes. Who changed the rules

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<v Speaker 1>so that everybody on every army base can keep a

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<v Speaker 1>civilian weapon with them to shoot anybody who tries to

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<v Speaker 1>stop what's going on on an army base. Who decided

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<v Speaker 1>that all Trump needed to see every morning was a

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<v Speaker 1>SportsCenter highlight reel American troops, excuse me, warfighters blowing stuff

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<v Speaker 1>up in Iran, and he didn't need nor want any

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<v Speaker 1>other kind of update on what was happening there. Who

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<v Speaker 1>has a Crusader cross tattooed on his chest. Who was

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<v Speaker 1>so crazy in his previous line of work that Fox

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<v Speaker 1>would only put him on on the weekends. Who was

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<v Speaker 1>accused by his top aid last year of dressing up

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<v Speaker 1>in a disguise to slip their security detail to go

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<v Speaker 1>out drinking. Who speaks in a string of apocalyptic cliches

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<v Speaker 1>but is convinced he's winning the argument for the hearts

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<v Speaker 1>and minds of America and is on a mission from God.

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<v Speaker 1>Whose behavior was so alarming, Whose behavior besides Trump that

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<v Speaker 1>senators and military vets Mark Kelly and Alyssa Slotkin plus

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<v Speaker 1>four congress people made a video reminding troops and oh,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, they never said just troops. The generals

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<v Speaker 1>were allowed to watch this video too. Who was doing

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<v Speaker 1>such alarming things that these guys said to the troops

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<v Speaker 1>and the generals that you are obligated to not obey

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<v Speaker 1>an illegal order. Who does all that describe besides Trump? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>it's it's either Pete Hegseth or doctor Strangelove. Okay, I've

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<v Speaker 1>got a couple of cabinet changes to watch for, and no,

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<v Speaker 1>not heg Seth, although heg Seth seems to be animated

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<v Speaker 1>by a conviction that somebody in the military is going

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<v Speaker 1>to replace him, so he better fire them. So he's

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<v Speaker 1>firing those people too. No, not hag Seth, not Levitt.

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<v Speaker 1>Why ordinary rational Americans would think Trump would want to

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<v Speaker 1>get rid of heg Seth and Levitt when they are

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<v Speaker 1>doing exactly what he wants, I don't know. Heg Seth

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<v Speaker 1>and Levitt are literally his wet dreams. Washington Post says, though,

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<v Speaker 1>after the firing of Bondy, Trump has asked colleagues if

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<v Speaker 1>he should fire Laurie Chavez Dreamer, who seems to have

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<v Speaker 1>a hobby scandal going on that is not nearly as

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<v Speaker 1>exotic as Christy Nomes nice balloons, but just his dad

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<v Speaker 1>imaging Howard Lutnek humiliated himself and then went underground. But

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<v Speaker 1>Trump seems to have remembered that he works for him

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<v Speaker 1>and decided he's an ass clown, which he is. And

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<v Speaker 1>then there is the Bondi replacement. New York Magazine notes quote,

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<v Speaker 1>many in Trump world are circling the newly open job

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<v Speaker 1>of Attorney General. Janine Piro may be the most recklessly loyal. Again,

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<v Speaker 1>as I mentioned in Friday's Bolton, Bondy was not fired

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<v Speaker 1>because she butchered the Epstein files, though she did. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>nuclear war is a diversion from the Epstein files. Well

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<v Speaker 1>why not? Bondy was fired because she didn't put any

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<v Speaker 1>of Trump's enemies in prison. Who tried to prosecute FED

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<v Speaker 1>chairman Jerome Powell without evidence and without conceding that evidence

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<v Speaker 1>was required, and without doing anything else that the grand

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<v Speaker 1>jury wanted. Pierro who has no self control or limits,

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<v Speaker 1>Pierro who will do anything to please the fewer, Pierro

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<v Speaker 1>who is thinking ahead for somebody to help her with

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<v Speaker 1>her demo tape when she goes back into reality TV.

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<v Speaker 1>Pierro and I got one change nobody's seen coming yet.

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<v Speaker 1>You have heard by now of Greg Phillips, the head

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<v Speaker 1>of Response and Recovery at FEMA, the nitwit in charge

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<v Speaker 1>of one thousand employees and a three hundred million dollar

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<v Speaker 1>budget election conspiracy theorist executive producer of the farcical Dinesh

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<v Speaker 1>Desuza film Two Thousand Mules that was so bad the

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<v Speaker 1>producers had to issue a retraction an apology to other

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<v Speaker 1>conspiracy theorists for being too conspiracy theory e. This guy's

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<v Speaker 1>will wash out from the Human Services Commission in Mississippi

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<v Speaker 1>and the Human Services Commission in Texas, but otherwise have

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<v Speaker 1>fairly routine, blank eyed, seriously unsuccessful business con man and

0:15:04.795 --> 0:15:09.835
<v Speaker 1>conservative until the other day when Greg Phillips claimed that

0:15:10.475 --> 0:15:15.755
<v Speaker 1>one evening, when he was just minding his business, some

0:15:15.955 --> 0:15:23.155
<v Speaker 1>supernatural force teleported him to a waffle house in Rome, Georgia.

0:15:25.515 --> 0:15:31.195
<v Speaker 1>Look cabinet wise, this is a no brainer, and mister

0:15:31.195 --> 0:15:34.875
<v Speaker 1>Phillips is obviously the no brain to do it. How

0:15:34.915 --> 0:15:40.875
<v Speaker 1>in the hell is this man not the Secretary of Transportation.

0:15:49.355 --> 0:15:52.235
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate that these days there is so much stuff

0:15:52.275 --> 0:15:55.035
<v Speaker 1>being fired at us by the fascists that it seems

0:15:55.115 --> 0:15:59.675
<v Speaker 1>dangerous to stop looking forward even for one second. They

0:15:59.675 --> 0:16:01.955
<v Speaker 1>don't have any morals, they don't have any souls, but

0:16:01.995 --> 0:16:06.675
<v Speaker 1>they do have seemingly endless and unition. But as each

0:16:06.755 --> 0:16:09.915
<v Speaker 1>week we hear somebody else announced they are seeking the

0:16:09.995 --> 0:16:14.235
<v Speaker 1>Democratic nomination for twenty eight somebody else who has mistaken

0:16:14.755 --> 0:16:20.515
<v Speaker 1>their own notoriety for being qualified. Rom Immanuel, we need

0:16:20.515 --> 0:16:23.915
<v Speaker 1>to look behind us for a moment, because this week

0:16:24.395 --> 0:16:33.635
<v Speaker 1>it's Don Lemon, nice guy, not qualified, and Stephen A. Smith,

0:16:34.355 --> 0:16:37.915
<v Speaker 1>the sports guy, again insisting he would win all the

0:16:37.955 --> 0:16:42.315
<v Speaker 1>Democratic debates and he'd defeat all the other candidates in

0:16:42.355 --> 0:16:45.195
<v Speaker 1>the primaries. I'll get to them shortly. But about that

0:16:45.315 --> 0:16:49.915
<v Speaker 1>looking back thing. First, somebody asked me when this dynamic

0:16:49.995 --> 0:16:53.675
<v Speaker 1>took hold in this country, when we stopped our constant

0:16:53.755 --> 0:16:56.875
<v Speaker 1>fear from the fifties and sixties and seventies that the

0:16:56.875 --> 0:17:00.755
<v Speaker 1>Republicans would finally stop believing in the peaceful transfer of

0:17:00.915 --> 0:17:05.355
<v Speaker 1>power thing and the concept that they could lose, or

0:17:05.395 --> 0:17:09.555
<v Speaker 1>the prospect that their commentators and leaders might not be insightful,

0:17:09.715 --> 0:17:14.155
<v Speaker 1>just insane, and not finding new paths, but breaking the

0:17:14.155 --> 0:17:16.915
<v Speaker 1>fundamental premise of the United States of America and replacing

0:17:16.955 --> 0:17:20.435
<v Speaker 1>it with an authoritarian dictatorship, just as soon as they

0:17:20.435 --> 0:17:24.115
<v Speaker 1>could find somebody that lacking in scruples and that filled

0:17:24.275 --> 0:17:29.155
<v Speaker 1>with motivations to do societal wrong for their own private gain.

0:17:30.355 --> 0:17:34.595
<v Speaker 1>We always worried when they'd figure out how to monetize it,

0:17:36.355 --> 0:17:40.715
<v Speaker 1>so we always thought, who's the best Democrat to oppose them?

0:17:41.035 --> 0:17:43.955
<v Speaker 1>And then somehow we stopped thinking that way, and then

0:17:44.035 --> 0:17:49.155
<v Speaker 1>Trump monetized it. In discussing an answer to where this

0:17:49.955 --> 0:17:54.555
<v Speaker 1>hellscape began, that's somebody I was talking to, and I

0:17:54.595 --> 0:17:57.115
<v Speaker 1>threw out lots of names who made this happen, Some

0:17:57.235 --> 0:18:01.875
<v Speaker 1>whose goal it was Bin Laden Newt, Gingrich Rush Limbaugh,

0:18:02.315 --> 0:18:08.155
<v Speaker 1>Mitch McConnell, both George Bush's other terrorists, some whose goal

0:18:08.315 --> 0:18:12.235
<v Speaker 1>it most certainly was not, but they contributed to it anyway,

0:18:12.595 --> 0:18:19.395
<v Speaker 1>largely by naive Ta Merrick Garland, Joe Biden, and a

0:18:19.515 --> 0:18:22.155
<v Speaker 1>name I always throw out, and people recoil when I do.

0:18:22.315 --> 0:18:24.755
<v Speaker 1>But it is as true now as it was when

0:18:24.795 --> 0:18:28.395
<v Speaker 1>I did a commentary On the night of January nineteenth,

0:18:28.675 --> 0:18:32.955
<v Speaker 1>two thousand and nine. I was in Washington to anchor

0:18:33.195 --> 0:18:37.915
<v Speaker 1>the inauguration, and the camera behind me in the studio

0:18:37.915 --> 0:18:40.035
<v Speaker 1>at eight o'clock at night produced a photo of the

0:18:40.075 --> 0:18:44.715
<v Speaker 1>Capitol shimmering with anticipation of the inauguration, and I warned

0:18:44.835 --> 0:18:48.235
<v Speaker 1>of the mistake that the president elect as he became

0:18:48.275 --> 0:18:52.275
<v Speaker 1>the president barely fifteen hours later, would be making I

0:18:52.315 --> 0:18:54.675
<v Speaker 1>would have liked to have been wrong. I knew I

0:18:54.675 --> 0:18:59.035
<v Speaker 1>would not be, and I wasn't. I'm going to read

0:18:59.075 --> 0:19:02.875
<v Speaker 1>this commentary again, slightly edited to save a little time.

0:19:03.195 --> 0:19:08.035
<v Speaker 1>Nothing added. January nineteenth, two thousand and nine, roughly eight

0:19:08.115 --> 0:19:15.595
<v Speaker 1>fifty pm Eastern Standard time. We have tortured people, you

0:19:15.675 --> 0:19:19.315
<v Speaker 1>and I. You and I know we have tortured colleague

0:19:19.355 --> 0:19:22.395
<v Speaker 1>Sheik Mohammad. We not only know about it, we have

0:19:22.475 --> 0:19:24.835
<v Speaker 1>now heard it boasted about by one of the men who,

0:19:24.875 --> 0:19:28.035
<v Speaker 1>as of tomorrow, will no longer work for us, George

0:19:28.155 --> 0:19:32.795
<v Speaker 1>Walker Bush quote. The techniques were necessary and are necessary

0:19:32.795 --> 0:19:35.155
<v Speaker 1>to be used on a rare occasion to get information

0:19:35.315 --> 0:19:38.835
<v Speaker 1>necessary to protect the American people, Mister Bush said to

0:19:38.955 --> 0:19:42.995
<v Speaker 1>Fox News on January eleven. One such person who gave

0:19:43.075 --> 0:19:47.355
<v Speaker 1>us information was Colleage Shak Mohammad. I'm in the Oval office.

0:19:47.475 --> 0:19:50.195
<v Speaker 1>I'm told that we've captured Colleage Shake Mohammad, and the

0:19:50.235 --> 0:19:54.275
<v Speaker 1>professionals believe he has information necessary to secure the country.

0:19:54.795 --> 0:19:57.475
<v Speaker 1>So I asked what tools are available for us to

0:19:57.555 --> 0:20:01.155
<v Speaker 1>find information from him. They give me a list of tools,

0:20:01.395 --> 0:20:04.475
<v Speaker 1>and I said, are these tools deemed to be legal.

0:20:04.915 --> 0:20:08.555
<v Speaker 1>We got legal opinions before the decision was made. I

0:20:08.635 --> 0:20:12.035
<v Speaker 1>think when people study the history of this particular episode,

0:20:12.115 --> 0:20:14.915
<v Speaker 1>they will find out we gained good information from colleague

0:20:14.915 --> 0:20:18.715
<v Speaker 1>Shaik Mohammad in order to protect our country. We believe

0:20:18.795 --> 0:20:23.715
<v Speaker 1>that the information we gained helped save lives on American soil.

0:20:25.915 --> 0:20:29.435
<v Speaker 1>Never Mind mister Bush's delusions here. Never Mind all primary

0:20:29.475 --> 0:20:33.395
<v Speaker 1>sources who witnessed the interrogation of colleague Sheik Mohammad said

0:20:33.435 --> 0:20:36.555
<v Speaker 1>that they got nothing from him until they started buddying

0:20:36.635 --> 0:20:40.115
<v Speaker 1>up to him. Never Mind that mister Bush's supporter's favorite

0:20:40.115 --> 0:20:44.355
<v Speaker 1>torture construction, the mythical ticking time bomb scenario, not only

0:20:44.435 --> 0:20:47.275
<v Speaker 1>did not transpire here, but mister Bush has not even

0:20:47.315 --> 0:20:50.595
<v Speaker 1>had the imagination to pretend it did, just in order

0:20:50.675 --> 0:20:54.995
<v Speaker 1>to slightly cover his moral tracks. The key is that

0:20:55.155 --> 0:20:58.075
<v Speaker 1>this statement, if it had been under oath, would have

0:20:58.195 --> 0:21:05.075
<v Speaker 1>been a confession to a war crime. Mister Bush's proactive quote,

0:21:05.075 --> 0:21:09.195
<v Speaker 1>I asked what tools are available? Mister Bush is aware

0:21:09.235 --> 0:21:12.355
<v Speaker 1>of the legal haze into which he steps quote and

0:21:12.435 --> 0:21:16.075
<v Speaker 1>I said, are these tools deemed to be legal? Mister

0:21:16.115 --> 0:21:20.115
<v Speaker 1>Bush realizes the tools he has chosen have been used quote,

0:21:20.275 --> 0:21:25.515
<v Speaker 1>we gained good information from Colleage Shik Muhammad. Since we

0:21:25.595 --> 0:21:28.475
<v Speaker 1>know from previous admissions at the Pentagon that Colleage Shik

0:21:28.515 --> 0:21:31.755
<v Speaker 1>Muhammad was waterboarded, we can infer that mister Bush knew

0:21:31.795 --> 0:21:35.075
<v Speaker 1>he would be waterboarded and knew afterwards that he had

0:21:35.155 --> 0:21:42.235
<v Speaker 1>been waterboarded. Mister Bush is guilty. Mister President Elect, you

0:21:42.315 --> 0:21:45.355
<v Speaker 1>were first asked about all this on the eighteenth of

0:21:45.395 --> 0:21:48.875
<v Speaker 1>April last I am proud to say you were asked

0:21:48.875 --> 0:21:51.035
<v Speaker 1>about it by a fellow who got onto his high

0:21:51.035 --> 0:21:54.955
<v Speaker 1>school newspaper while I was its editor, Will Bunch of

0:21:54.995 --> 0:21:58.795
<v Speaker 1>the Philadelphia Daily News. I think you are right you

0:21:58.915 --> 0:22:02.515
<v Speaker 1>told Will if crimes have been committed, they should be investigated.

0:22:02.555 --> 0:22:04.555
<v Speaker 1>You are also right that I would not want my

0:22:04.795 --> 0:22:07.995
<v Speaker 1>first term consumed by what was perceived on the part

0:22:07.995 --> 0:22:11.355
<v Speaker 1>of Republicans as a partisan witch hunt, because I think

0:22:11.395 --> 0:22:13.915
<v Speaker 1>we have too many problems we have to solve. So

0:22:13.995 --> 0:22:17.715
<v Speaker 1>this is an area where I would want to exercise judgment.

0:22:19.635 --> 0:22:24.075
<v Speaker 1>Good amen, But in that brief interview was born, or

0:22:24.115 --> 0:22:29.155
<v Speaker 1>at least elucidated, a loophole genuine crimes as opposed to

0:22:29.675 --> 0:22:34.635
<v Speaker 1>really bad policies. Vice President Biden echoed this on December

0:22:34.675 --> 0:22:37.715
<v Speaker 1>twenty first, in a statement to which your transition team

0:22:37.835 --> 0:22:41.395
<v Speaker 1>has directed all those to whom this is a paramount issue,

0:22:41.435 --> 0:22:44.475
<v Speaker 1>Biden said, quote, the questions of whether or not a

0:22:44.515 --> 0:22:47.515
<v Speaker 1>criminal act has been committed or a very very bad

0:22:47.715 --> 0:22:52.355
<v Speaker 1>judgment has been engaged in is something the Justice Department decides.

0:22:54.515 --> 0:22:57.915
<v Speaker 1>After his comment last week with straightforwardness that was like

0:22:58.035 --> 0:23:01.715
<v Speaker 1>water to a lost soul in the Sahara, that waterboarding

0:23:01.835 --> 0:23:05.755
<v Speaker 1>is torture, your nominee at Justice, mister Eric Holder, echoed

0:23:05.835 --> 0:23:09.275
<v Speaker 1>all of this, quote. We don't want to criminalize policy

0:23:09.315 --> 0:23:13.355
<v Speaker 1>differences that might exist between the outgoing administration and the

0:23:13.395 --> 0:23:18.755
<v Speaker 1>administration that is about to take over. But mister President elect,

0:23:18.835 --> 0:23:23.035
<v Speaker 1>you have a confession since this statement of a structure

0:23:23.075 --> 0:23:26.715
<v Speaker 1>of policy prefacing policy itself from mister Biden, you have

0:23:26.795 --> 0:23:31.835
<v Speaker 1>had mister Bush's confession. Moreover, since mister Biden's statement, you

0:23:31.835 --> 0:23:34.715
<v Speaker 1>have a legal assessment from within the bowels of the

0:23:34.755 --> 0:23:40.595
<v Speaker 1>Bush administration itself. Quote, we tortured Mohammad al Katani, Judge

0:23:40.635 --> 0:23:44.075
<v Speaker 1>Susan Crawford told The Washington Post a week ago, quote

0:23:44.115 --> 0:23:48.235
<v Speaker 1>his treatment met the legal definition of torture. That was why.

0:23:48.355 --> 0:23:51.435
<v Speaker 1>Judge Crawford added that as the Bush administration official in

0:23:51.555 --> 0:23:54.875
<v Speaker 1>charge of deciding whether or not to bring detainees at

0:23:54.915 --> 0:24:00.675
<v Speaker 1>Guantanamo Bay to trial. She decided in Katani's case not

0:24:00.875 --> 0:24:05.595
<v Speaker 1>to This, Mister President Elect, was not the obvious water

0:24:05.715 --> 0:24:08.915
<v Speaker 1>boarding of colleague Sheik Muhammad. This was a more insidious

0:24:08.915 --> 0:24:13.715
<v Speaker 1>combination of legally approved procedures that still nearly killed this

0:24:13.835 --> 0:24:19.915
<v Speaker 1>man Katani. Quote. The techniques were all authorized, Judge Crawford continued, quote,

0:24:19.915 --> 0:24:22.475
<v Speaker 1>but the manner in which they applied them was overly

0:24:22.515 --> 0:24:27.075
<v Speaker 1>aggressive and too persistent. This was not any one particular act.

0:24:27.235 --> 0:24:29.315
<v Speaker 1>It was just a combination of things that had a

0:24:29.395 --> 0:24:35.315
<v Speaker 1>medical impact on him that hurt his health unquote. In fact,

0:24:35.355 --> 0:24:38.395
<v Speaker 1>mister President Elect, the records at gitmost showed that Katani's

0:24:38.435 --> 0:24:43.755
<v Speaker 1>heartbeat eventually slowed to thirty five beats per minute. Quote.

0:24:43.795 --> 0:24:48.075
<v Speaker 1>It was abusive and uncalled for and coercive, clearly coercive.

0:24:48.435 --> 0:24:51.555
<v Speaker 1>I sympathized with the intelligence gatherers in those days after

0:24:51.635 --> 0:24:53.995
<v Speaker 1>nine to eleven, not knowing what was coming next and

0:24:54.035 --> 0:24:56.475
<v Speaker 1>trying to gain information to keep us safe. But there

0:24:56.515 --> 0:25:01.195
<v Speaker 1>still has to be a line that we should not cross. Unfortunately,

0:25:01.235 --> 0:25:07.475
<v Speaker 1>what this has done, I think has tainted everything going forward.

0:25:08.195 --> 0:25:12.515
<v Speaker 1>End quote. If you are worried about the Republicans viewing

0:25:12.555 --> 0:25:15.635
<v Speaker 1>any torture prosecution in the way you postulated to Will

0:25:15.715 --> 0:25:18.955
<v Speaker 1>Bunch a partisan witch hunt, you can remind them that

0:25:18.995 --> 0:25:21.755
<v Speaker 1>the woman who said all that, Susan Crawford, is a

0:25:21.835 --> 0:25:26.355
<v Speaker 1>lifelong Republican. So, mister President elect, beyond whatever else will

0:25:26.395 --> 0:25:29.675
<v Speaker 1>come out as the whistleblowers begin to whistle just after

0:25:29.715 --> 0:25:34.915
<v Speaker 1>noon tomorrow, you have your predecessor's unofficial confession, and you

0:25:35.035 --> 0:25:39.595
<v Speaker 1>have this singular evaluation by a principle in your predecessor's administration,

0:25:39.795 --> 0:25:43.835
<v Speaker 1>this kind of line level confession. They are guilty of this,

0:25:43.915 --> 0:25:48.995
<v Speaker 1>mister President elect, since he talked to my friend Bunch

0:25:48.995 --> 0:25:51.755
<v Speaker 1>in April two thousand and eight. Mister Obama's only lengthy

0:25:51.795 --> 0:25:55.675
<v Speaker 1>comments about this were made to George Stephanopplis on January eleventh,

0:25:55.715 --> 0:26:00.955
<v Speaker 1>two thousand and nine. See if a disturbing theme becomes evident. Quote,

0:26:00.995 --> 0:26:04.955
<v Speaker 1>obviously we are going to look at past practices. I

0:26:04.995 --> 0:26:07.595
<v Speaker 1>don't believe that anybody is above the law. On the

0:26:07.595 --> 0:26:09.435
<v Speaker 1>other hand, I also have a belief that we need

0:26:09.475 --> 0:26:15.155
<v Speaker 1>to look forward as opposed to looking backwards. Later quote,

0:26:15.315 --> 0:26:17.635
<v Speaker 1>my instinct is to focus on how do we make

0:26:17.675 --> 0:26:20.195
<v Speaker 1>sure that moving forward we are doing the right thing.

0:26:20.395 --> 0:26:23.235
<v Speaker 1>Later still quote, my orientation is going to be to

0:26:23.275 --> 0:26:26.595
<v Speaker 1>move forward. Finally, quote what we have to focus on

0:26:26.635 --> 0:26:29.675
<v Speaker 1>as getting things right in the future, as opposed to

0:26:29.755 --> 0:26:35.755
<v Speaker 1>looking at what we got wrong in the past. Sadly,

0:26:35.915 --> 0:26:38.835
<v Speaker 1>as commendable as the intention here might seem, this country

0:26:38.875 --> 0:26:41.995
<v Speaker 1>has never moved forward without first cleansing itself of its

0:26:42.035 --> 0:26:46.075
<v Speaker 1>mistaken past. In point of fact, every effort to merely

0:26:46.195 --> 0:26:49.315
<v Speaker 1>draw a line in the sand and declare the past

0:26:49.435 --> 0:26:53.035
<v Speaker 1>dead has served only to keep the past alive, and

0:26:53.115 --> 0:26:57.995
<v Speaker 1>often to strengthen it. We compromised with slavery in the

0:26:58.035 --> 0:27:02.395
<v Speaker 1>Declaration of Independence, and four score and nine years later

0:27:02.595 --> 0:27:05.195
<v Speaker 1>we had buried six hundred thousand of our sons and

0:27:05.275 --> 0:27:08.755
<v Speaker 1>brothers in a civil war. After that war's ending, we

0:27:08.795 --> 0:27:12.115
<v Speaker 1>compromised with the social restructuring and protection of the rights

0:27:12.115 --> 0:27:15.435
<v Speaker 1>of minorities in the South, and a century later we

0:27:15.555 --> 0:27:19.395
<v Speaker 1>had not only not resolved racism, but black leaders were

0:27:19.395 --> 0:27:23.275
<v Speaker 1>still being assassinated in the cities of the South. We

0:27:23.315 --> 0:27:26.675
<v Speaker 1>compromised with Germany in the reconstruction of Europe after the

0:27:26.715 --> 0:27:30.755
<v Speaker 1>First World War. Nobody even arrested the German Kaiser, let

0:27:30.835 --> 0:27:34.995
<v Speaker 1>alone conducted war crimes trials then, and nineteen years later

0:27:35.195 --> 0:27:38.595
<v Speaker 1>there was an indescribably more evil Germany and a more

0:27:38.595 --> 0:27:43.115
<v Speaker 1>heartrending Second World War. We compromised with the trusts of

0:27:43.155 --> 0:27:46.515
<v Speaker 1>the early nineteen hundreds. Today we have corporations too big

0:27:46.555 --> 0:27:50.875
<v Speaker 1>to fail. We compromised with the Palm Morades and got McCarthyism,

0:27:51.035 --> 0:27:54.835
<v Speaker 1>And we compromised with McCarthyism and got Watergate. We compromised

0:27:54.835 --> 0:27:58.475
<v Speaker 1>with Watergate, and junior members of the Ford administration realized

0:27:58.515 --> 0:28:01.275
<v Speaker 1>how little was ultimately at risk. They grew up to

0:28:01.315 --> 0:28:06.835
<v Speaker 1>be Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. But

0:28:07.115 --> 0:28:10.995
<v Speaker 1>mister President elect, you are entirely correct as you say

0:28:11.115 --> 0:28:13.315
<v Speaker 1>what we have to focus on is getting things right

0:28:13.395 --> 0:28:15.675
<v Speaker 1>in the future, as opposed to looking at what we

0:28:15.795 --> 0:28:21.155
<v Speaker 1>got wrong in the past. But that means prosecuting all

0:28:21.195 --> 0:28:25.715
<v Speaker 1>those involved in the Bush administration's torture of prisoners, and

0:28:25.875 --> 0:28:29.915
<v Speaker 1>starting at the top. You are also right that you

0:28:29.915 --> 0:28:32.915
<v Speaker 1>should not want your first term consumed by what was

0:28:32.995 --> 0:28:36.235
<v Speaker 1>perceived on the part of Republicans as a partisan witch hunt.

0:28:36.675 --> 0:28:40.115
<v Speaker 1>What your only other option might be let this set

0:28:40.195 --> 0:28:45.235
<v Speaker 1>and fester indefinitely, Because mister President elects Someday there will

0:28:45.275 --> 0:28:49.075
<v Speaker 1>be another Republican president, or even a Democrat, just as

0:28:49.155 --> 0:28:53.475
<v Speaker 1>blind as mister Bush to ethics and this country's moral force.

0:28:55.115 --> 0:28:57.595
<v Speaker 1>He will look back to what you did about mister Bush,

0:28:58.035 --> 0:29:02.635
<v Speaker 1>or what you did not do, and he will see precedent.

0:29:03.955 --> 0:29:07.235
<v Speaker 1>Or as Cheney saw, he will see how not to

0:29:07.275 --> 0:29:13.355
<v Speaker 1>get caught next time. Prosecute, mister President elect. Even if

0:29:13.355 --> 0:29:16.395
<v Speaker 1>you get not one conviction, you will still have accomplished

0:29:16.635 --> 0:29:21.115
<v Speaker 1>good for generations unborn. Merely by acting, you will deny

0:29:21.195 --> 0:29:25.395
<v Speaker 1>mister Bush what he most wants right now, without prosecutions,

0:29:25.435 --> 0:29:28.635
<v Speaker 1>without this nation standing up and saying this was wrong.

0:29:29.635 --> 0:29:34.275
<v Speaker 1>We must atone. Mister Bush's version of what happened goes

0:29:34.275 --> 0:29:38.035
<v Speaker 1>into the historical record of this nation. Torture was legal,

0:29:38.915 --> 0:29:46.795
<v Speaker 1>It worked, It saved the country. The end, we have

0:29:46.995 --> 0:29:52.075
<v Speaker 1>tortured people, you and I, mister President elect, the nation. Thus,

0:29:52.115 --> 0:29:54.675
<v Speaker 1>beginning tomorrow, it is up to you not just to

0:29:54.755 --> 0:29:59.475
<v Speaker 1>discontinue this, but to prevent it. At the end of

0:29:59.515 --> 0:30:02.955
<v Speaker 1>his first year in office, mister Lincoln tried to contextualize

0:30:02.995 --> 0:30:06.115
<v Speaker 1>the Civil War for those who still wanted to compromise

0:30:06.155 --> 0:30:10.595
<v Speaker 1>with the evils of secession and slavery. Quote the struggle

0:30:10.715 --> 0:30:15.475
<v Speaker 1>of today, Lincoln wrote, is not altogether for today, It

0:30:15.555 --> 0:30:24.195
<v Speaker 1>is for a vast future. Also, mister President elect, you

0:30:24.195 --> 0:30:27.995
<v Speaker 1>have been handed the beginning of that future. Use it

0:30:29.475 --> 0:30:35.435
<v Speaker 1>to protect our children and our distant descendants from anything

0:30:35.595 --> 0:30:45.435
<v Speaker 1>like this ever happening again. There were, of course, no

0:30:45.555 --> 0:30:49.835
<v Speaker 1>prosecutions and a future Republican president, and more importantly, those

0:30:49.835 --> 0:30:54.235
<v Speaker 1>who would enable his terrorism were taught that Democrats would

0:30:54.315 --> 0:31:05.315
<v Speaker 1>not risk political fracture by prosecuting presidential criminality, secuting it

0:31:05.395 --> 0:31:08.955
<v Speaker 1>quickly enough, and by the time that decision was reversed

0:31:08.955 --> 0:31:15.195
<v Speaker 1>it was too late. Republicans learned that there were laws

0:31:15.955 --> 0:31:21.955
<v Speaker 1>that did not apply to presidents. Did Barack Obama cause

0:31:22.035 --> 0:31:25.555
<v Speaker 1>Donald Trump, of course not. Did he miss a chance

0:31:26.395 --> 0:31:29.635
<v Speaker 1>to destroy a Trump criminal presidency while it was still

0:31:29.675 --> 0:31:33.515
<v Speaker 1>in the nest, or at least reduce its chances of

0:31:33.555 --> 0:31:37.995
<v Speaker 1>survival and of subsuming our world and creating this nightmare

0:31:38.035 --> 0:31:45.355
<v Speaker 1>we have on going right now in Iran? Sadly, entirely yes,

0:31:48.715 --> 0:31:50.715
<v Speaker 1>Is it up to Barack Obama to do what he

0:31:50.755 --> 0:31:52.635
<v Speaker 1>can now do to correct his mistake?

0:31:55.275 --> 0:31:55.795
<v Speaker 2>I think so?

0:31:58.755 --> 0:32:02.555
<v Speaker 1>What does that mean? Well, he does get to decide

0:32:02.555 --> 0:32:05.195
<v Speaker 1>what that means. But I would offer that one means

0:32:05.195 --> 0:32:07.795
<v Speaker 1>of correcting his mistake of two thousand and nine, of

0:32:08.035 --> 0:32:12.915
<v Speaker 1>essentially letting Trump get away with it in advance, would

0:32:12.955 --> 0:32:19.115
<v Speaker 1>be to end his mostly retirement and his distance, as

0:32:19.115 --> 0:32:22.075
<v Speaker 1>if this deranged, criminal thug Trump didn't just fire the

0:32:22.115 --> 0:32:24.835
<v Speaker 1>Attorney General the other day, largely truly deep down, for

0:32:24.875 --> 0:32:27.515
<v Speaker 1>one reason only that she had failed to put Barack

0:32:27.555 --> 0:32:32.875
<v Speaker 1>Obama in jail. If I may phrase it this way,

0:32:32.915 --> 0:32:36.195
<v Speaker 1>President Obama, Trump is not trying to destroy only America.

0:32:36.715 --> 0:32:42.515
<v Speaker 1>He's also still trying to destroy you. Defend yourself and

0:32:42.635 --> 0:32:50.315
<v Speaker 1>defend us as silly as Don Lemon presidential candidacy or

0:32:50.355 --> 0:32:53.995
<v Speaker 1>a Stephen A. Smith presidential candidacy might seem. The Democracy

0:32:54.035 --> 0:32:57.635
<v Speaker 1>and the Democrats are without leadership right now, and an

0:32:57.755 --> 0:33:07.875
<v Speaker 1>array of mediocrites recognizes this gap. Two, President Obama can

0:33:07.995 --> 0:33:11.715
<v Speaker 1>lead the attempt to restore democracy in this country right now.

0:33:11.955 --> 0:33:15.475
<v Speaker 1>You could go big and run for a Senate seat again.

0:33:15.835 --> 0:33:19.155
<v Speaker 1>You could go partisan and volunteer to lead the Democratic

0:33:19.235 --> 0:33:23.475
<v Speaker 1>National Committee, and you'd have the job within three hours.

0:33:23.995 --> 0:33:28.115
<v Speaker 1>You could go freelance and hold a rally every month

0:33:28.715 --> 0:33:33.315
<v Speaker 1>in a different American city just to encourage the rest

0:33:33.355 --> 0:33:36.915
<v Speaker 1>of us, just to make us feel like, we are

0:33:36.955 --> 0:33:45.195
<v Speaker 1>not out here on our fucking own. But President Obama, sir,

0:33:45.475 --> 0:33:48.235
<v Speaker 1>whatever it is you see in here that appeals to you,

0:33:49.555 --> 0:33:56.795
<v Speaker 1>do something now, because bluntly, sir, you didn't do something then.

0:34:08.035 --> 0:34:13.035
<v Speaker 1>So now Don Lemon thinks he could be president. Nice guy,

0:34:13.275 --> 0:34:18.435
<v Speaker 1>very brave, good heart, not qualified on a podcast. Quote

0:34:18.475 --> 0:34:21.395
<v Speaker 1>Do I ever think about it? Yes? Could it happen? Yeah,

0:34:21.395 --> 0:34:25.075
<v Speaker 1>it could happen running for office? Quote I think I

0:34:25.115 --> 0:34:27.195
<v Speaker 1>could be president of the United States. I could definitely

0:34:27.275 --> 0:34:31.475
<v Speaker 1>run this country better than Donald Trump. Well, look, that's

0:34:31.515 --> 0:34:35.195
<v Speaker 1>the threshold. You can run it better than Trump. There

0:34:35.195 --> 0:34:37.595
<v Speaker 1>are at least one hundred and ninety one million Americans

0:34:37.635 --> 0:34:40.355
<v Speaker 1>aged thirty five or over and thus eligible for the

0:34:40.395 --> 0:34:45.435
<v Speaker 1>White House, and what twelve or thirteen of them couldn't

0:34:45.515 --> 0:34:49.235
<v Speaker 1>run this country better than Donald Trump. The idea that

0:34:49.315 --> 0:34:52.275
<v Speaker 1>anybody can become president, though, does not start with Trump.

0:34:52.355 --> 0:34:55.515
<v Speaker 1>And I know, boy, I'm piling on here, but the

0:34:55.595 --> 0:34:59.155
<v Speaker 1>fault to some degree is well, I'll just let Don

0:34:59.235 --> 0:35:02.555
<v Speaker 1>Lemon's quote continue quote, why can't I think about being

0:35:02.595 --> 0:35:05.115
<v Speaker 1>President of the United States? Did anybody think think Barack

0:35:05.195 --> 0:35:11.275
<v Speaker 1>Obama would become president? Actually many people did, Don. I've

0:35:11.275 --> 0:35:14.555
<v Speaker 1>told this story before the same high school history teacher

0:35:14.555 --> 0:35:17.195
<v Speaker 1>who told me the day I graduated nineteen seventy five

0:35:17.715 --> 0:35:19.835
<v Speaker 1>that the sports thing would work out, but that I'd

0:35:19.835 --> 0:35:23.355
<v Speaker 1>eventually wind up in politics or covering it. The same

0:35:23.435 --> 0:35:27.955
<v Speaker 1>high school history teacher who taught Will Bunch. He invited

0:35:28.595 --> 0:35:33.555
<v Speaker 1>Obama of Harvard Law to speak at our school in

0:35:33.675 --> 0:35:39.275
<v Speaker 1>nineteen ninety one. The late Walter Schneller asked him if

0:35:39.275 --> 0:35:44.995
<v Speaker 1>he was considering seeking office, told Obama and others that

0:35:45.075 --> 0:35:54.195
<v Speaker 1>Obama had the qualifications for the highest office nineteen ninety one.

0:35:54.475 --> 0:35:58.675
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, Don, people did think it was possible. Also

0:35:58.755 --> 0:36:02.315
<v Speaker 1>why he got the Senate nomination and why he got

0:36:02.315 --> 0:36:07.715
<v Speaker 1>the presidential nomination in the speaking engagement at the prior convention.

0:36:07.955 --> 0:36:10.835
<v Speaker 1>Plus when a jetliner disappeared twelve years ago. Last month,

0:36:10.915 --> 0:36:13.395
<v Speaker 1>Don Obama didn't go on his show and CNN and

0:36:13.475 --> 0:36:15.915
<v Speaker 1>ask a guest if it maybe a black hole had

0:36:15.955 --> 0:36:20.795
<v Speaker 1>materialized in Earth's atmosphere and destroyed the jetliner. A tiny, little,

0:36:20.795 --> 0:36:25.595
<v Speaker 1>remarkably specific black hole or an average sized black hole,

0:36:25.595 --> 0:36:28.995
<v Speaker 1>which would be about ten times the mass of the Sun,

0:36:30.075 --> 0:36:32.595
<v Speaker 1>and it was in Earth's atmosphere, but it just wasn't

0:36:32.675 --> 0:36:38.795
<v Speaker 1>very hungry, Don. Some things are just disqualifying by themselves,

0:36:40.195 --> 0:36:43.315
<v Speaker 1>like being off on the radius of an operative black

0:36:43.315 --> 0:36:48.115
<v Speaker 1>hole by you know, about ten thousand percent. Unless you're

0:36:48.155 --> 0:36:51.635
<v Speaker 1>running as a Republican, then it might be a positive boon.

0:36:54.395 --> 0:36:57.075
<v Speaker 1>The problem is less that Trump has erased the too

0:36:57.195 --> 0:36:59.995
<v Speaker 1>dumb to be president thresholder the too evil to be

0:37:00.035 --> 0:37:03.675
<v Speaker 1>president threshold. It's that people now say I could be president,

0:37:04.475 --> 0:37:08.795
<v Speaker 1>and nobody says no, sorry, never, don't humiliate yourself, don't

0:37:08.795 --> 0:37:14.835
<v Speaker 1>waste our time, don't do it. They don't say that

0:37:15.195 --> 0:37:19.235
<v Speaker 1>to Stephen A. Smith. Egg don to seek the Democratic nomination,

0:37:19.435 --> 0:37:21.515
<v Speaker 1>and Steven is not bright enough to have noticed that

0:37:21.635 --> 0:37:27.475
<v Speaker 1>only conservatives are egging him on Sean Hannity. Is not

0:37:27.515 --> 0:37:30.515
<v Speaker 1>who you go to when you try to assess whether

0:37:30.555 --> 0:37:33.475
<v Speaker 1>or not the Democrats want you to be their presidential Lemonee.

0:37:34.755 --> 0:37:37.195
<v Speaker 1>Smith did it again this week. He insisted he would

0:37:37.195 --> 0:37:39.875
<v Speaker 1>defeat Gavin Newsom and Kamala Harris in a debate, even

0:37:39.875 --> 0:37:43.315
<v Speaker 1>though he says he knows nothing about the issues, and

0:37:43.355 --> 0:37:45.115
<v Speaker 1>then he would be defeating them and everybody else for

0:37:45.195 --> 0:37:48.435
<v Speaker 1>the Democratic nomination, and him then he'd win the election,

0:37:48.995 --> 0:37:51.635
<v Speaker 1>all because nobody has said to him, Stephen, you are

0:37:51.675 --> 0:37:57.235
<v Speaker 1>totally effing unqualified. You may be the most unqualified person

0:37:57.315 --> 0:38:00.635
<v Speaker 1>in America. Those twelve or thirteen people I mentioned who

0:38:00.715 --> 0:38:02.795
<v Speaker 1>might not be as good at this as Trump is,

0:38:02.995 --> 0:38:05.755
<v Speaker 1>you're probably one of them also, So you could not

0:38:05.995 --> 0:38:09.315
<v Speaker 1>run without having to quit ESPN and give all the

0:38:09.435 --> 0:38:14.315
<v Speaker 1>money back. Although listen to this now, it appears that

0:38:14.555 --> 0:38:18.875
<v Speaker 1>little detail that has finally registered with him.

0:38:18.715 --> 0:38:20.515
<v Speaker 3>To be on that debate stage and to still be

0:38:20.555 --> 0:38:21.955
<v Speaker 3>able to go back to work cleanse.

0:38:22.475 --> 0:38:25.275
<v Speaker 2>I'll be there. I'll be there. I'm telling you right now.

0:38:25.315 --> 0:38:26.195
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you right now.

0:38:26.275 --> 0:38:29.755
<v Speaker 1>I will show up on that stage not knowing anything

0:38:30.275 --> 0:38:32.595
<v Speaker 1>compared to what Gavin Newsom might know.

0:38:33.515 --> 0:38:36.755
<v Speaker 2>I don't care. I'll be ready. I'll be ready for

0:38:36.795 --> 0:38:37.515
<v Speaker 2>that debate now.

0:38:37.755 --> 0:38:41.515
<v Speaker 3>And I don't believe that I respect gave all right,

0:38:41.915 --> 0:38:42.715
<v Speaker 3>he wouldn't beat me.

0:38:43.275 --> 0:38:45.315
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe in one second. Do I believe I

0:38:45.315 --> 0:38:48.675
<v Speaker 2>would take Gavin Newsom out? Yes I do, Yes, I do.

0:38:48.755 --> 0:38:51.435
<v Speaker 1>I believe I believe I would go against Kamala and

0:38:51.475 --> 0:38:51.915
<v Speaker 1>beat her.

0:38:52.075 --> 0:38:53.355
<v Speaker 2>Yes I do.

0:38:53.155 --> 0:38:57.155
<v Speaker 3>I think I'd beat most of the Democratic Party because

0:38:57.155 --> 0:38:59.195
<v Speaker 3>there's too much dancing, and I don't.

0:38:59.075 --> 0:39:09.835
<v Speaker 1>Dance, Steven, all you do is dance. I don't begrudge

0:39:09.875 --> 0:39:13.475
<v Speaker 1>any man the opportunity to make tens of millions of

0:39:13.515 --> 0:39:16.875
<v Speaker 1>dollars a year just bullshitting and filling time.

0:39:17.835 --> 0:39:21.475
<v Speaker 3>It's a skill. It's a rare skill. I don't have

0:39:21.555 --> 0:39:27.395
<v Speaker 3>that skill. He does. More power to him, but stop

0:39:27.435 --> 0:39:32.795
<v Speaker 3>mistaking your bullshitting for wisdom. And as to the debates,

0:39:33.315 --> 0:39:36.515
<v Speaker 3>this is a man who had to get Max Kellerman,

0:39:37.035 --> 0:39:40.115
<v Speaker 3>a fairly good boxing analyst and a decent sports debater.

0:39:40.315 --> 0:39:43.435
<v Speaker 3>He had to get Max Kellerman fired from the ESPN

0:39:43.555 --> 0:39:48.155
<v Speaker 3>show that he and Stevens A. Smith did because Max

0:39:48.235 --> 0:39:50.955
<v Speaker 3>Kellerman was too tough a debate opponent for steven A.

0:39:51.075 --> 0:39:55.835
<v Speaker 3>Smith and to get Kellerman replaced on this show by

0:39:55.835 --> 0:40:00.395
<v Speaker 3>the farcical and unintelligible Christopher Russo, whose main argument in

0:40:00.435 --> 0:40:03.475
<v Speaker 3>their sports debate, no matter what the subject is, is

0:40:03.875 --> 0:40:16.355
<v Speaker 3>and I quote once again, thanks Obama. So now here

0:40:16.395 --> 0:40:22.755
<v Speaker 3>we are a democratic field of who Gavin Newsom, who

0:40:22.755 --> 0:40:27.115
<v Speaker 3>will say anything at any point and is very useful

0:40:27.195 --> 0:40:32.835
<v Speaker 3>during this fight in opposition, but who will say anything

0:40:32.875 --> 0:40:38.875
<v Speaker 3>at any point? Rom Emmanuel who might actually get a

0:40:38.995 --> 0:40:44.915
<v Speaker 3>vote total that was a negative number. Senator Cory book

0:40:44.995 --> 0:40:52.715
<v Speaker 3>tour Don a black hole eight my speech, Lemon and

0:40:52.795 --> 0:40:58.435
<v Speaker 3>Steven ashit thus I see no alternative. I have no

0:40:58.555 --> 0:41:00.875
<v Speaker 3>other choice. I do not want to do this. I

0:41:00.915 --> 0:41:03.515
<v Speaker 3>want nothing to do with this at all. I am

0:41:03.555 --> 0:41:07.435
<v Speaker 3>now forced to announce that I too, am considering running

0:41:07.515 --> 0:41:15.355
<v Speaker 3>for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. Okay,

0:41:15.395 --> 0:41:17.555
<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to do it. I just considered it,

0:41:17.595 --> 0:41:20.795
<v Speaker 3>and it's a terrible idea because, like Don Lemon and

0:41:20.795 --> 0:41:25.235
<v Speaker 3>Stephen A. Smith and Rob Emmanuel and Guyvin Newsom, I

0:41:25.275 --> 0:41:31.155
<v Speaker 3>am not qualified to be president. The only difference here

0:41:31.275 --> 0:41:33.395
<v Speaker 3>being I.

0:41:33.275 --> 0:41:33.635
<v Speaker 4>Know it.

0:41:38.995 --> 0:41:41.955
<v Speaker 1>Now. It was a nice candidacy lasted. Also of interest

0:41:41.995 --> 0:41:46.475
<v Speaker 1>here quote A golden shower of blessing is coming down

0:41:46.755 --> 0:41:55.075
<v Speaker 1>on our president. A golden shower of blessing. You've seen it.

0:41:55.075 --> 0:42:01.875
<v Speaker 1>It's a looks like a some sort of screen capture

0:42:02.035 --> 0:42:06.035
<v Speaker 1>of an article. The first sign in that there might

0:42:06.155 --> 0:42:11.235
<v Speaker 1>be a beneficent God. A golden shower of blessing is

0:42:11.275 --> 0:42:13.955
<v Speaker 1>coming down on our president. There's just one problem with it.

0:42:14.715 --> 0:42:18.195
<v Speaker 1>What is that problem? That's next? This is an all

0:42:18.275 --> 0:42:19.875
<v Speaker 1>new edition of Countdown.

0:42:21.515 --> 0:42:23.995
<v Speaker 5>Among his other credits, Moe used to host a TV

0:42:24.115 --> 0:42:29.235
<v Speaker 5>show called Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've

0:42:29.235 --> 0:42:34.035
<v Speaker 5>seen that program only I believe it's now called Countdown

0:42:34.115 --> 0:42:34.955
<v Speaker 5>with Keith Overman.

0:42:57.835 --> 0:43:04.595
<v Speaker 1>It's no funny beyond the grave, bick chainey, everybody still

0:43:04.675 --> 0:43:06.795
<v Speaker 1>I head on this all new edition of Countdown, So

0:43:06.875 --> 0:43:10.035
<v Speaker 1>out there in the still functioning parts of the real world.

0:43:11.555 --> 0:43:16.075
<v Speaker 1>A lot on threads. This weekend was about the demise

0:43:16.235 --> 0:43:22.475
<v Speaker 1>of the fast food chain Boston Market. Yeah, my bad, sorry,

0:43:23.395 --> 0:43:25.795
<v Speaker 1>The saga of how I made five of the best

0:43:25.875 --> 0:43:29.315
<v Speaker 1>TV commercials ever written. I don't know about the acting,

0:43:29.795 --> 0:43:33.435
<v Speaker 1>how they wound up costing Boston Market nine hundred million

0:43:33.475 --> 0:43:37.115
<v Speaker 1>dollars in one year because they worked too well, and

0:43:37.155 --> 0:43:41.035
<v Speaker 1>how I fell off a cliff and nearly killed myself

0:43:41.075 --> 0:43:46.475
<v Speaker 1>while filming them, although I got the money in another

0:43:46.675 --> 0:43:50.875
<v Speaker 1>thing I promised not to tell. Coming up in the interim,

0:43:51.355 --> 0:43:53.915
<v Speaker 1>we always have more new idiots to talk about. The

0:43:53.995 --> 0:43:57.155
<v Speaker 1>roundup of the miscreants, morons and dunning Krueger effects specimens

0:43:57.275 --> 0:44:03.995
<v Speaker 1>who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. And

0:44:04.075 --> 0:44:06.915
<v Speaker 1>this episode is brought to you by Worst Person's Hall

0:44:06.955 --> 0:44:11.275
<v Speaker 1>of Famer Jeff Schell. Jeff Shell, my former boss at

0:44:11.315 --> 0:44:14.955
<v Speaker 1>Fox Sports, who spent two years lying to me, into

0:44:14.995 --> 0:44:18.395
<v Speaker 1>his news division people at NBC and to everybody at

0:44:18.515 --> 0:44:23.155
<v Speaker 1>MSNBC and to the media about his true intentions, whatever

0:44:23.195 --> 0:44:26.555
<v Speaker 1>the hell they actually were during our negotiations for me

0:44:26.635 --> 0:44:30.555
<v Speaker 1>to go back to MSNBC, and who then flexed by

0:44:30.595 --> 0:44:33.915
<v Speaker 1>leaking to a friendly media whore that I should have

0:44:34.155 --> 0:44:39.195
<v Speaker 1>known he was lying. Oliver Darcys Status reports that it

0:44:39.235 --> 0:44:41.955
<v Speaker 1>is the third anniversary of Jeff Shell getting fired by

0:44:42.115 --> 0:44:46.915
<v Speaker 1>NBC for what else, lying about his relationship with a

0:44:46.955 --> 0:44:50.715
<v Speaker 1>woman correspondent there, and Jeff Shell is likely to commemorate

0:44:50.755 --> 0:44:55.635
<v Speaker 1>that milestone by getting fired this week as president of

0:44:55.715 --> 0:45:00.155
<v Speaker 1>Paramount CBS because he got sued for allegedly the leaking

0:45:00.195 --> 0:45:04.675
<v Speaker 1>confidential company information. So you didn't get fired at Fox,

0:45:04.835 --> 0:45:07.195
<v Speaker 1>you got fired at NBC's going to get fired at CBS.

0:45:08.435 --> 0:45:13.075
<v Speaker 1>Disney's calling you, Jeff. Sometimes, with these TV execs, I

0:45:13.155 --> 0:45:16.795
<v Speaker 1>really have wondered, is it them or is it me?

0:45:17.635 --> 0:45:23.195
<v Speaker 1>With Jeff Shell, I'm not wondering. No medalists the bronze

0:45:23.355 --> 0:45:29.195
<v Speaker 1>Congressman Andy Ogles since Paul Gozar more or less disappeared

0:45:29.235 --> 0:45:32.755
<v Speaker 1>a month ago. Gozar's last public statement was in praise

0:45:32.795 --> 0:45:40.115
<v Speaker 1>of Homeland Security Secretary Christy Nome, Remember Christy Nome. Since

0:45:40.235 --> 0:45:44.555
<v Speaker 1>Gozar vanished, Ogles might be have become the least stable

0:45:44.675 --> 0:45:48.115
<v Speaker 1>member of the House of Representatives. He has now twice

0:45:48.235 --> 0:45:51.595
<v Speaker 1>burnished his reputation. In the last week, he's introduced what

0:45:51.635 --> 0:45:55.275
<v Speaker 1>he calls the Assimilation Act, which will basically get rid

0:45:55.275 --> 0:45:59.635
<v Speaker 1>of immigration and then quote, America will look like America again.

0:46:00.995 --> 0:46:04.795
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, risky, Andy Ogles, risky, dude, risky.

0:46:04.675 --> 0:46:05.035
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

0:46:05.355 --> 0:46:07.515
<v Speaker 1>Beauty is in the eye end of beholder and all that.

0:46:07.635 --> 0:46:11.115
<v Speaker 1>But to me, Eddie Ogels, you look kind of Iranian.

0:46:11.195 --> 0:46:15.275
<v Speaker 1>To me, I'm just saying, could be from Iran. I

0:46:15.275 --> 0:46:18.675
<v Speaker 1>don't know if that is your real name. These things

0:46:18.675 --> 0:46:21.355
<v Speaker 1>are tough to be certain about. But if you're trying

0:46:21.395 --> 0:46:25.195
<v Speaker 1>to make America look like America again, you may wake

0:46:25.315 --> 0:46:33.315
<v Speaker 1>up tomorrow and Tehran bub Meanwhile, Congressman Ogles had another

0:46:33.355 --> 0:46:37.475
<v Speaker 1>brilliant move, quote, I have introduced legislation to lower the

0:46:37.635 --> 0:46:42.355
<v Speaker 1>US flag to half staff on Good Friday and Holy Saturday,

0:46:42.795 --> 0:46:47.755
<v Speaker 1>Holy Saturday. Actually, I think you may have noticed that

0:46:47.955 --> 0:46:50.955
<v Speaker 1>this did not happen. This would serve, he wrote, as

0:46:50.995 --> 0:46:54.235
<v Speaker 1>a solemn reminder of Christ, who was crucified for our

0:46:54.355 --> 0:46:56.315
<v Speaker 1>transgressions against the Holy God.

0:46:56.915 --> 0:46:57.355
<v Speaker 2>Christ.

0:46:57.755 --> 0:47:03.755
<v Speaker 1>He added, is king of America. A Andy. Maybe your

0:47:03.915 --> 0:47:09.955
<v Speaker 1>transgression also you may believe all that happened. I don't

0:47:09.995 --> 0:47:12.555
<v Speaker 1>have a problem with you believing all that happened, as

0:47:12.635 --> 0:47:16.075
<v Speaker 1>long as you don't try to do anything with this guess.

0:47:16.955 --> 0:47:20.835
<v Speaker 1>But you do realize that for all the faith in

0:47:20.915 --> 0:47:24.475
<v Speaker 1>the world, there's no evidence that any of that happened.

0:47:26.915 --> 0:47:29.315
<v Speaker 1>Doesn't mean it didn't happen. You can say to me, well,

0:47:29.315 --> 0:47:32.395
<v Speaker 1>there's no evidence it didn't happen. There's no evidence that

0:47:32.435 --> 0:47:35.075
<v Speaker 1>there was a Christ, or that he was crucified, or

0:47:35.155 --> 0:47:38.875
<v Speaker 1>that he was crucified for or that he rose or not.

0:47:40.115 --> 0:47:43.795
<v Speaker 1>It's a belief that's different than a fact. No, you

0:47:43.835 --> 0:47:46.835
<v Speaker 1>have the Bibles. Show me again, show me an autographed

0:47:46.875 --> 0:47:49.875
<v Speaker 1>by the author copy of the Bible, and I'm more interested.

0:47:49.875 --> 0:47:52.355
<v Speaker 1>And even then, how do I know it's not just,

0:47:52.475 --> 0:47:58.315
<v Speaker 1>you know, like a car manual. All right, enough of that. Moreover,

0:47:58.475 --> 0:48:01.195
<v Speaker 1>Christ is King of America. Christ is King of America.

0:48:01.395 --> 0:48:05.555
<v Speaker 1>You want to lower flags the half staff because Christ

0:48:05.595 --> 0:48:07.755
<v Speaker 1>is King of Amria. Isn't that going to overshadow Charlie

0:48:07.795 --> 0:48:12.755
<v Speaker 1>Kirk and Erica Kirk, who is still requesting privacy during

0:48:12.755 --> 0:48:17.795
<v Speaker 1>her perpetual hopscotching the Globe World Martyrdom Tour. Wasn't Charlie

0:48:17.835 --> 0:48:25.595
<v Speaker 1>Kirk King of America, the runners up Baseball's Texas Rangers

0:48:25.675 --> 0:48:30.195
<v Speaker 1>baseball team. Sometimes the mask comes off slowly, sometimes it comes.

0:48:29.955 --> 0:48:31.435
<v Speaker 2>Off all at once.

0:48:32.515 --> 0:48:36.075
<v Speaker 1>Six years ago, officials at love Field Airport in Dallas

0:48:36.115 --> 0:48:40.435
<v Speaker 1>finally removed a statue there of Jim Banks, who was

0:48:40.475 --> 0:48:44.515
<v Speaker 1>a symbol of the fight by the government in Texas

0:48:44.635 --> 0:48:49.075
<v Speaker 1>against school integration. He was the model for the statue

0:48:49.155 --> 0:48:52.835
<v Speaker 1>statues titled One Riot, One Ranger, motto of the original

0:48:52.875 --> 0:48:57.035
<v Speaker 1>Texas Rangers vigilante group from the nineteenth century. This year,

0:48:57.075 --> 0:49:01.075
<v Speaker 1>the baseball Texas Rangers have suddenly dug up this statue

0:49:01.475 --> 0:49:06.195
<v Speaker 1>and put it in the concourse of their stadium, their

0:49:06.315 --> 0:49:12.435
<v Speaker 1>taxpayer funded stadium. Now you might say, well, bad move,

0:49:12.595 --> 0:49:15.635
<v Speaker 1>but I mean, what's the big deal compared to everything else?

0:49:15.755 --> 0:49:18.755
<v Speaker 1>The Texas Rangers have not only put this racist statue

0:49:19.355 --> 0:49:24.395
<v Speaker 1>on display, but while Major League Baseball is emphasizing diversity,

0:49:25.155 --> 0:49:27.515
<v Speaker 1>and it spent the last months during the World Baseball

0:49:27.555 --> 0:49:29.995
<v Speaker 1>Classic telling us about how forty one percent of its

0:49:29.995 --> 0:49:33.395
<v Speaker 1>players come from diverse backgrounds and twenty eight percent of

0:49:33.475 --> 0:49:37.635
<v Speaker 1>Major leaguers come from other countries, the Texas Rangers fielded

0:49:37.715 --> 0:49:41.555
<v Speaker 1>an opening day starting lineup near the statue of the

0:49:41.675 --> 0:49:45.275
<v Speaker 1>Raw one Riot one Ranger guy. Their opening days starting

0:49:45.315 --> 0:49:52.395
<v Speaker 1>lineup consisted of ten American white guys, two of whom

0:49:52.395 --> 0:49:56.995
<v Speaker 1>were named Josh, and there was a Jock in there too.

0:49:57.395 --> 0:50:03.115
<v Speaker 1>His name is Jock. They have twenty six men on

0:50:03.155 --> 0:50:06.275
<v Speaker 1>the playing roster, five of whom were born in the

0:50:06.395 --> 0:50:09.355
<v Speaker 1>United States, while Baseball said, oh, twenty eight percent of

0:50:09.395 --> 0:50:13.675
<v Speaker 1>it come from other countries. But the ten starters are

0:50:13.875 --> 0:50:17.275
<v Speaker 1>diverse in their own way. One is from the northeast,

0:50:18.275 --> 0:50:22.715
<v Speaker 1>Oh well, Elmhurst, Illinois. Another one is from the liberal

0:50:22.755 --> 0:50:31.275
<v Speaker 1>Pacific Coast. I'm Cheyenne, Wyoming. The rest of them southwest South.

0:50:31.635 --> 0:50:32.355
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:50:33.515 --> 0:50:36.075
<v Speaker 1>This story has yet to blow up, But circle two

0:50:36.075 --> 0:50:39.475
<v Speaker 1>weeks from tomorrow, when the Rangers will play their first

0:50:39.475 --> 0:50:42.755
<v Speaker 1>home game after the league wide Jackie Robinson Day celebration,

0:50:42.955 --> 0:50:45.635
<v Speaker 1>which is always on April fifteenth, the anniversary of Jackie

0:50:45.715 --> 0:50:48.995
<v Speaker 1>Robinson's debut and the breaking of the modern color line

0:50:49.035 --> 0:50:53.235
<v Speaker 1>in baseball. Will the Rangers wear Jackie Robinson's uniform number

0:50:53.235 --> 0:50:55.875
<v Speaker 1>forty two, like all the other players on all the

0:50:55.875 --> 0:50:59.955
<v Speaker 1>other teams do, either on the fifteenth, or on the

0:51:00.035 --> 0:51:03.675
<v Speaker 1>date that they play their first home game after the fifteenth,

0:51:03.955 --> 0:51:07.475
<v Speaker 1>or will the just skip it since it's so much later,

0:51:07.795 --> 0:51:11.075
<v Speaker 1>and will they instead wear the uniform of Jim Banks,

0:51:11.195 --> 0:51:17.755
<v Speaker 1>one Riot, one ranger guy. But the winners the worst,

0:51:18.555 --> 0:51:22.235
<v Speaker 1>all those who got your hopes up had spread the

0:51:22.275 --> 0:51:27.795
<v Speaker 1>supposed front page of something called the New Jerusalem Posts.

0:51:28.875 --> 0:51:32.675
<v Speaker 1>Now if you saw this, you'd agree with me. It

0:51:32.795 --> 0:51:36.395
<v Speaker 1>was really nicely done. It's a screenshot of some sort.

0:51:36.955 --> 0:51:40.955
<v Speaker 1>It's mostly in gold lettering, but it's not garish gold

0:51:41.075 --> 0:51:43.995
<v Speaker 1>like Trump. It's just kind of, yeah, this looks legit.

0:51:44.075 --> 0:51:47.195
<v Speaker 1>There's a gold cross, and then there's some white and

0:51:47.355 --> 0:51:52.035
<v Speaker 1>light blue lettering and backgrounds for support, and there's there's

0:51:52.515 --> 0:51:54.995
<v Speaker 1>categories up at the top, kind of a menu of

0:51:55.235 --> 0:52:00.635
<v Speaker 1>home faith, prophecy, patriotism, end times, and what's trending faithful Patriots,

0:52:00.875 --> 0:52:04.435
<v Speaker 1>the Rapture Report, Maga, miracles. I mean, it's legit. And

0:52:04.475 --> 0:52:08.315
<v Speaker 1>then there's a headline attributed to the staff writer and

0:52:08.315 --> 0:52:11.115
<v Speaker 1>it says posted two hours ago with a number of shares,

0:52:11.315 --> 0:52:13.155
<v Speaker 1>And then there's the picture of the guy and a

0:52:13.235 --> 0:52:18.675
<v Speaker 1>pulled out quote. Well, the headline is, pastor says, quote

0:52:19.275 --> 0:52:28.035
<v Speaker 1>golden April showers will anoint Donald Trump. I'll just repeat that.

0:52:29.035 --> 0:52:35.635
<v Speaker 1>Pastor says golden April showers will anoint Donald Trump, and no,

0:52:35.755 --> 0:52:38.115
<v Speaker 1>this is not on the cover of the Texas Rangers

0:52:38.435 --> 0:52:42.475
<v Speaker 1>opening day program and scorecard. Then there is this picture

0:52:42.595 --> 0:52:45.795
<v Speaker 1>of a guy kind of looks like the most interesting

0:52:45.875 --> 0:52:49.155
<v Speaker 1>man in the world from the beer commercials friend of mine.

0:52:49.195 --> 0:52:52.155
<v Speaker 1>I met him a couple of years ago. Great guy anyway.

0:52:52.155 --> 0:52:54.075
<v Speaker 1>He kind of looks like a younger version of him

0:52:54.115 --> 0:52:57.035
<v Speaker 1>with the white beard, and he's wearing a red shiny tie,

0:52:57.315 --> 0:52:58.955
<v Speaker 1>and he's got his hand up and he looks like

0:52:59.115 --> 0:53:04.275
<v Speaker 1>a like a megachurch pastor. And there's a golden sunset

0:53:04.315 --> 0:53:06.875
<v Speaker 1>and behind him with clouds, and then there's this pull

0:53:06.955 --> 0:53:10.355
<v Speaker 1>quote next to his face, and it reads a golden shower,

0:53:11.115 --> 0:53:15.515
<v Speaker 1>A blessing is coming down upon our our president. That's

0:53:15.515 --> 0:53:18.355
<v Speaker 1>the tell They put hour in there twice. It's the

0:53:18.395 --> 0:53:21.195
<v Speaker 1>only thing wrong with the thing. It's like, I think

0:53:21.235 --> 0:53:24.275
<v Speaker 1>that was in there deliberately anyway. Then there's the whole

0:53:24.355 --> 0:53:26.715
<v Speaker 1>article beneath it, such as it is, and that reads

0:53:26.755 --> 0:53:31.995
<v Speaker 1>evangelical pastor calib Boone or Caleb Boone has declared that

0:53:32.035 --> 0:53:36.395
<v Speaker 1>this April will bring quote golden April showers to America,

0:53:36.475 --> 0:53:40.035
<v Speaker 1>claiming a divine vision revealed that the reign of heavenly

0:53:40.155 --> 0:53:45.835
<v Speaker 1>gold will fall to anoint boldface President Donald Trump. Boone,

0:53:45.915 --> 0:53:49.755
<v Speaker 1>speaking to a small but growing online congregation, describe President

0:53:49.755 --> 0:53:54.875
<v Speaker 1>Donald Trump as the anointed vessel beneath this outpouring, adding

0:53:54.875 --> 0:53:57.955
<v Speaker 1>that the vision signals the beginning of a new golden

0:53:58.035 --> 0:54:01.835
<v Speaker 1>age for America. In a follow up sermon, Boone referred

0:54:01.835 --> 0:54:05.955
<v Speaker 1>to the prophecy more explicitly as quote a golden shower

0:54:06.075 --> 0:54:10.955
<v Speaker 1>of blessing descending upon the chosen Leader, urging followers to

0:54:11.115 --> 0:54:16.675
<v Speaker 1>quote remain open to how that outpouring may manifest. Some

0:54:16.835 --> 0:54:21.075
<v Speaker 1>followers online the Peace concludes, have begun referring to the

0:54:21.075 --> 0:54:27.355
<v Speaker 1>event as April's Golden Showers, a phrase Boone has not

0:54:27.515 --> 0:54:28.795
<v Speaker 1>directly discouraged.

0:54:30.795 --> 0:54:34.355
<v Speaker 2>Oh my gold.

0:54:36.155 --> 0:54:39.035
<v Speaker 1>The bad news, of course, as I've already implied a

0:54:39.035 --> 0:54:41.955
<v Speaker 1>couple of times in the Double Hour in there, as

0:54:41.995 --> 0:54:48.155
<v Speaker 1>a typho suggests, there is no new Jerusalem Post. And

0:54:48.195 --> 0:54:51.675
<v Speaker 1>you'll notice nobody in there ever gave the name of

0:54:51.795 --> 0:54:56.275
<v Speaker 1>the church just to online congregate, nor nor where he is.

0:54:57.875 --> 0:54:59.875
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it would have been a nice touch to

0:54:59.875 --> 0:55:05.755
<v Speaker 1>say it was emanating from Moscow, Idaho. Interestingly, there is

0:55:05.795 --> 0:55:09.675
<v Speaker 1>a preacher named Caleb Boone. Caleb Boone is quoted in

0:55:09.755 --> 0:55:13.355
<v Speaker 1>this Sadly, Caleb Boone is a fictional character from a

0:55:13.395 --> 0:55:21.155
<v Speaker 1>book called The Preacher's Son alas the perpetrators of the

0:55:21.235 --> 0:55:26.235
<v Speaker 1>Trump Golden Showers April Fool's joke, all that glitters is

0:55:26.275 --> 0:55:31.315
<v Speaker 1>not gold, or in this case, all that glistens is

0:55:31.355 --> 0:56:09.075
<v Speaker 1>not gold, Today's other worst persons, and a golden shower

0:56:09.075 --> 0:56:18.355
<v Speaker 1>of blessing is coming down upon our president. Chee the

0:56:18.435 --> 0:56:21.075
<v Speaker 1>number one story on the countdown and things I promised

0:56:21.075 --> 0:56:24.875
<v Speaker 1>not to tell, and I am literally reading off of threads,

0:56:25.115 --> 0:56:29.635
<v Speaker 1>so you know where this story comes from. The first

0:56:29.795 --> 0:56:33.355
<v Speaker 1>of the messages here is this may be the too

0:56:33.355 --> 0:56:39.555
<v Speaker 1>many nights solo parenting talking from the shop files, but

0:56:39.795 --> 0:56:44.315
<v Speaker 1>hear me out rotisserie chicken drive through, followed by the

0:56:44.355 --> 0:56:48.235
<v Speaker 1>comment from Hey K McCoy, could you imagine five question

0:56:48.355 --> 0:56:51.995
<v Speaker 1>marks with sides like sweet potatoes, broccoli or brussels, an

0:56:51.995 --> 0:56:56.075
<v Speaker 1>assortment of family size salads or something, And finally from

0:56:56.115 --> 0:57:01.635
<v Speaker 1>Miss Tanye, anyone else remember Boston Market cy?

0:57:03.395 --> 0:57:03.675
<v Speaker 2>Why?

0:57:03.795 --> 0:57:09.355
<v Speaker 1>Yes, somebody out here remembers Boston Market cy.

0:57:10.035 --> 0:57:16.715
<v Speaker 2>Emptiness, scraps, emptiness? How can I fill this empty void

0:57:16.755 --> 0:57:20.075
<v Speaker 2>of emptiness? It's not tricky. Eat something.

0:57:20.395 --> 0:57:22.875
<v Speaker 6>Call me crazy, but I recommend the four dour Turkey

0:57:22.875 --> 0:57:26.555
<v Speaker 6>melt belt combo, hot handcarved turkey topped with maple, sweet

0:57:26.555 --> 0:57:29.515
<v Speaker 6>bacon and four guy guey Jesus a sandwich side of drink,

0:57:29.715 --> 0:57:32.155
<v Speaker 6>just four bucks. So get your four dollar turkey melt

0:57:32.155 --> 0:57:34.715
<v Speaker 6>belt combo today, totally in Boston Market.

0:57:34.835 --> 0:57:39.035
<v Speaker 2>Trust me, eating is a good thing. Who's wearing cologne?

0:57:39.395 --> 0:57:43.155
<v Speaker 1>That was nineteen ninety seven. Technically speaking, we recorded it

0:57:43.195 --> 0:57:46.955
<v Speaker 1>in nineteen ninety six, just before Christmas, although some of

0:57:46.955 --> 0:57:50.195
<v Speaker 1>the audio is added just after Christmas. And what you're

0:57:50.235 --> 0:57:53.755
<v Speaker 1>talking about is the first major money I ever made

0:57:54.195 --> 0:57:58.115
<v Speaker 1>in my life. One day, the phone rings and it's

0:57:58.155 --> 0:58:00.235
<v Speaker 1>my agent and she wants me to go do a

0:58:00.315 --> 0:58:03.755
<v Speaker 1>Boston Market commercial. She says they have a deal where

0:58:03.795 --> 0:58:06.435
<v Speaker 1>they're trying to sell lunch instead of just those big

0:58:06.555 --> 0:58:10.315
<v Speaker 1>rotisserie chicken dinners at all these chains, mostly in the Northeast,

0:58:10.315 --> 0:58:12.435
<v Speaker 1>and they want to get sports fans to go in

0:58:12.515 --> 0:58:15.395
<v Speaker 1>and buy a lunch because nobody buys lunch, They only

0:58:15.395 --> 0:58:17.355
<v Speaker 1>buy dinner. And I'm going, I don't really want to

0:58:17.395 --> 0:58:21.475
<v Speaker 1>do a commercial for fast food of any kind and

0:58:21.595 --> 0:58:24.835
<v Speaker 1>not chick. It's not bad. The sides are pretty good,

0:58:24.915 --> 0:58:27.115
<v Speaker 1>but I don't I don't feel And she said it's

0:58:27.115 --> 0:58:30.915
<v Speaker 1>two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and I said, m

0:58:31.955 --> 0:58:36.715
<v Speaker 1>I could do that. The arrangements were pretty quick. I

0:58:36.755 --> 0:58:39.755
<v Speaker 1>think we agreed to this in a matter of days.

0:58:40.475 --> 0:58:43.395
<v Speaker 1>They were to fly me from Connecticut in the middle

0:58:43.435 --> 0:58:46.435
<v Speaker 1>of perhaps the dreariest of the Connecticut winters. I spent

0:58:46.515 --> 0:58:50.035
<v Speaker 1>there in the middle of it, just around Christmas time,

0:58:50.555 --> 0:58:53.755
<v Speaker 1>to Sata, Monica, where I used to live and often

0:58:53.795 --> 0:58:56.835
<v Speaker 1>regretted not living anymore. And they'd put me up in

0:58:56.835 --> 0:58:59.395
<v Speaker 1>a nice hotel and I would be there perhaps for

0:58:59.475 --> 0:59:02.955
<v Speaker 1>three days, but certainly for two and record two very

0:59:03.035 --> 0:59:06.515
<v Speaker 1>creative commercials, one of which you just heard, the other

0:59:06.715 --> 0:59:08.995
<v Speaker 1>of which I will play for you in a little bit.

0:59:11.235 --> 0:59:15.275
<v Speaker 1>The whole thing seemed really worthwhile and very exciting, and

0:59:15.315 --> 0:59:18.075
<v Speaker 1>little did I know what was ahead of me. We

0:59:18.155 --> 0:59:20.915
<v Speaker 1>got out there and it was raining at about forty

0:59:20.955 --> 0:59:23.875
<v Speaker 1>eight degrees, so conditions worth three or four times better

0:59:23.915 --> 0:59:26.795
<v Speaker 1>than they had been in Southington and Bristol, Connecticut. The

0:59:27.075 --> 0:59:29.755
<v Speaker 1>ESPN people were all honked out of shape about this.

0:59:30.035 --> 0:59:33.035
<v Speaker 1>You can't do commercials, We can't let you do a commercial.

0:59:33.035 --> 0:59:36.035
<v Speaker 1>I said, they're buying the spots on ESPN. It doesn't matter.

0:59:36.075 --> 0:59:39.115
<v Speaker 1>And I said, you owe me two hundred and seventy

0:59:39.115 --> 0:59:42.435
<v Speaker 1>five thousand dollars for this the last year on my contract.

0:59:42.835 --> 0:59:45.595
<v Speaker 1>They are offering me two hundred and fifty thousand dollars

0:59:45.635 --> 0:59:49.435
<v Speaker 1>plus the airfare and the hotel. It's a push. And

0:59:49.515 --> 0:59:51.875
<v Speaker 1>the difference here is I have to come work to

0:59:51.915 --> 0:59:54.955
<v Speaker 1>this place that I don't want to really work at anymore,

0:59:54.995 --> 0:59:57.155
<v Speaker 1>and you don't really want me to be here anymore

0:59:58.035 --> 1:00:01.835
<v Speaker 1>for the next year, and I'm basically doing it for

1:00:02.075 --> 1:00:04.475
<v Speaker 1>two or three thousand dollars more than these people are

1:00:04.475 --> 1:00:07.475
<v Speaker 1>off bring me for two days. Which do you think,

1:00:07.595 --> 1:00:10.515
<v Speaker 1>if afforded the choice of quitting the ESPN job and

1:00:10.595 --> 1:00:13.755
<v Speaker 1>just doing the commercials or staying here and slaving away

1:00:13.795 --> 1:00:17.515
<v Speaker 1>for another year, which do you think I'm going to take?

1:00:18.275 --> 1:00:20.155
<v Speaker 1>There was a long pause and they went, all right,

1:00:20.195 --> 1:00:22.235
<v Speaker 1>but you have to sign an agreement saying that it's

1:00:22.435 --> 1:00:24.955
<v Speaker 1>just for you and not for everybody else. And I said, well, sure,

1:00:24.995 --> 1:00:27.515
<v Speaker 1>whatever you want, whatever you have to do here, I said,

1:00:27.555 --> 1:00:29.795
<v Speaker 1>on top of which, I have gotten them to cater

1:00:29.995 --> 1:00:32.875
<v Speaker 1>a lunch for everybody at Sports Center while I'm.

1:00:32.715 --> 1:00:35.275
<v Speaker 4>Away, Oh okay.

1:00:35.435 --> 1:00:38.155
<v Speaker 1>So in other words, I convinced management after years and

1:00:38.235 --> 1:00:41.115
<v Speaker 1>years of them beating me and all the other talented

1:00:41.315 --> 1:00:45.715
<v Speaker 1>ESPN up over outside things, which now they encourage, but

1:00:45.875 --> 1:00:48.235
<v Speaker 1>then they thought were the end of the world. If

1:00:48.235 --> 1:00:51.995
<v Speaker 1>you had another line of income, they no longer controlled you.

1:00:52.155 --> 1:00:55.715
<v Speaker 1>A vice president of ESPN actually told me that, word

1:00:55.795 --> 1:00:57.675
<v Speaker 1>for word, we can't let you do that. If you

1:00:57.715 --> 1:01:00.435
<v Speaker 1>have another source of income, then we don't control you anymore.

1:01:00.475 --> 1:01:02.315
<v Speaker 1>We can't make you do what we want you to do.

1:01:03.595 --> 1:01:07.475
<v Speaker 1>And all of that was come with the prospect that

1:01:07.515 --> 1:01:10.355
<v Speaker 1>all the managers would be invited to the free catered

1:01:10.395 --> 1:01:14.515
<v Speaker 1>Boston Market lunch. So I go to Los Angeles and

1:01:14.555 --> 1:01:16.675
<v Speaker 1>as I said, it was forty eight degrees in raining,

1:01:16.715 --> 1:01:19.595
<v Speaker 1>thus beautiful, and I did not have to wear a parka,

1:01:19.635 --> 1:01:23.635
<v Speaker 1>and I walked on the beach at Santa Monica outside

1:01:23.675 --> 1:01:25.835
<v Speaker 1>the hotel I was staying at. I believe it was

1:01:26.315 --> 1:01:30.355
<v Speaker 1>on the lows, right on the ocean, on on essentially

1:01:30.435 --> 1:01:34.115
<v Speaker 1>Pacific Coast Highway, and I just had a great I

1:01:34.195 --> 1:01:36.715
<v Speaker 1>walked there with my bare feet when I got there,

1:01:36.715 --> 1:01:38.195
<v Speaker 1>and then I went to bed early and we went

1:01:38.195 --> 1:01:40.435
<v Speaker 1>and shot the next morning in Malibu, and when we

1:01:40.475 --> 1:01:43.875
<v Speaker 1>get there it's raining a little bit. But the director

1:01:45.235 --> 1:01:50.475
<v Speaker 1>who talked like pee wee Herman Atlanta this he says, look,

1:01:50.475 --> 1:01:52.195
<v Speaker 1>this is what we're going to do. It's going to

1:01:52.315 --> 1:01:56.835
<v Speaker 1>rain apparently heavily, starting about two o'clock. So instead of

1:01:56.875 --> 1:01:59.595
<v Speaker 1>going and shooting until noon like we ordinarily would, we're

1:01:59.635 --> 1:02:02.795
<v Speaker 1>asking everybody's permission. We're just going to shoot through two o'clock.

1:02:03.155 --> 1:02:05.435
<v Speaker 1>Offer everybody a lunch or the chants to go home

1:02:05.475 --> 1:02:07.675
<v Speaker 1>at two. So we're going to get this commercial done

1:02:07.875 --> 1:02:10.515
<v Speaker 1>and then we'll shoot the other one in the mansion tomorrow.

1:02:10.755 --> 1:02:12.795
<v Speaker 1>The one you heard already was the one that we're

1:02:12.835 --> 1:02:15.515
<v Speaker 1>talking about. It shot on the beach at Leo Carrio

1:02:15.595 --> 1:02:18.955
<v Speaker 1>Beach in Malibu, or just near Malibu. And the one

1:02:18.995 --> 1:02:22.195
<v Speaker 1>thing about this beach is it's full of rocky promontories.

1:02:22.595 --> 1:02:25.475
<v Speaker 1>They're not exactly cliffs, although there is a cliff, and

1:02:25.515 --> 1:02:28.315
<v Speaker 1>there is a staircase that I think is about one

1:02:28.395 --> 1:02:30.835
<v Speaker 1>hundred to one hundred and twenty stairs down to the

1:02:30.875 --> 1:02:33.515
<v Speaker 1>beach from the park right above the on the cliff

1:02:33.595 --> 1:02:39.515
<v Speaker 1>right above the beach near Pacific Coast Highway. And these rocks,

1:02:39.555 --> 1:02:41.555
<v Speaker 1>some of them are pretty high. You could almost call

1:02:41.595 --> 1:02:43.555
<v Speaker 1>them cliffs. Some of them are twenty feet up there.

1:02:43.555 --> 1:02:45.795
<v Speaker 1>In any way, they introduced me to the other two

1:02:45.955 --> 1:02:48.515
<v Speaker 1>actors in the scene, and it's very simple. They keep

1:02:48.555 --> 1:02:51.035
<v Speaker 1>talking about emptiness and I'm empty. It's a spoof of

1:02:51.035 --> 1:02:56.155
<v Speaker 1>a Calvin Klein commercial from those days about the brand Obsession,

1:02:56.955 --> 1:03:00.995
<v Speaker 1>which they were selling in what was then called heroin Chic,

1:03:00.995 --> 1:03:03.795
<v Speaker 1>which was a very unfortunate subject to bring up, but

1:03:03.875 --> 1:03:07.275
<v Speaker 1>that's what they called. It was overly skinny kids talking

1:03:07.275 --> 1:03:10.755
<v Speaker 1>about the emptiness within. And this very clever ad had me,

1:03:11.195 --> 1:03:13.235
<v Speaker 1>after the kids appeared in black and white, looking like

1:03:13.235 --> 1:03:15.955
<v Speaker 1>it was a Calvin Klein ad, had me appearing in

1:03:16.035 --> 1:03:19.995
<v Speaker 1>color saying eat something and then trying to sell everybody

1:03:19.995 --> 1:03:22.475
<v Speaker 1>the five dollar lunch or in some cases the four

1:03:22.555 --> 1:03:26.155
<v Speaker 1>dollar lunch. Okay, in any event, we shoot this, and

1:03:26.355 --> 1:03:29.275
<v Speaker 1>we shoot it in various different ways. I appear from

1:03:29.315 --> 1:03:32.875
<v Speaker 1>behind a rock. They're walking along and I'm suddenly there.

1:03:33.235 --> 1:03:36.235
<v Speaker 1>I materialize they're in black and white.

1:03:36.355 --> 1:03:37.115
<v Speaker 2>I'm in color.

1:03:37.355 --> 1:03:40.155
<v Speaker 1>And every time we walk, every time we walk on

1:03:40.235 --> 1:03:44.075
<v Speaker 1>this slightly damp beach with a mist turning into a

1:03:44.195 --> 1:03:48.075
<v Speaker 1>light rain turning into a steadier drizzle. Every time we

1:03:48.235 --> 1:03:51.995
<v Speaker 1>do this, two guys come out after we do the

1:03:52.035 --> 1:03:56.635
<v Speaker 1>take with rakes and they rake our footprints out of

1:03:56.715 --> 1:03:59.315
<v Speaker 1>the area of the beach that's being shot. So here

1:03:59.315 --> 1:04:01.475
<v Speaker 1>are the components you need to know about. We are

1:04:01.595 --> 1:04:04.915
<v Speaker 1>there on a beach, it's a little rainy. I am

1:04:04.955 --> 1:04:09.475
<v Speaker 1>dressed in a brand new suit and brand new street

1:04:09.555 --> 1:04:12.995
<v Speaker 1>clothes of all kinds, including what I think in retrospect

1:04:12.995 --> 1:04:17.875
<v Speaker 1>were floor shime shoes. They are shiny to begin with,

1:04:17.915 --> 1:04:21.315
<v Speaker 1>and I am now polishing them on this wet sand

1:04:21.435 --> 1:04:23.915
<v Speaker 1>that is being raked smooth. Each time we do this,

1:04:23.955 --> 1:04:25.955
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know how many takes it was. They

1:04:25.995 --> 1:04:28.195
<v Speaker 1>had me at two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. If

1:04:28.235 --> 1:04:30.035
<v Speaker 1>you want to do a million takes, you can do

1:04:30.115 --> 1:04:33.075
<v Speaker 1>it in two days. Let's go. It probably was twenty

1:04:33.155 --> 1:04:36.515
<v Speaker 1>or thirty takes in various permutations, and finally it's about

1:04:36.555 --> 1:04:38.955
<v Speaker 1>one thirty and he says, the director with pee wee.

1:04:39.035 --> 1:04:41.555
<v Speaker 1>Herman says, I think we got everything we need, but

1:04:41.795 --> 1:04:44.315
<v Speaker 1>I'd like to try one more thing. Can you climb rocks?

1:04:44.555 --> 1:04:48.235
<v Speaker 1>And I said, yes, actually I can, And so he says,

1:04:48.275 --> 1:04:50.435
<v Speaker 1>can you climb this rock? And I think in my

1:04:50.555 --> 1:04:53.955
<v Speaker 1>memory it could have been this rock this promontory, this

1:04:54.155 --> 1:04:59.435
<v Speaker 1>outcropping could have been realistically twelve or thirteen feet high.

1:04:59.515 --> 1:05:01.115
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it was much more than that. But

1:05:01.155 --> 1:05:02.835
<v Speaker 1>he asked me to climb up in and I can

1:05:02.875 --> 1:05:05.835
<v Speaker 1>see there are various places to put my their footholds,

1:05:05.955 --> 1:05:08.235
<v Speaker 1>and I climb up and I get up to almost

1:05:08.275 --> 1:05:10.715
<v Speaker 1>the top of the thing, and I'm secure and safe

1:05:10.875 --> 1:05:15.115
<v Speaker 1>in my brown, brand new shoes that shinier than when

1:05:15.155 --> 1:05:18.515
<v Speaker 1>they came off the factory line in wherever they were made.

1:05:18.875 --> 1:05:21.675
<v Speaker 1>And I'm standing there on top of this thing, holding

1:05:21.715 --> 1:05:23.355
<v Speaker 1>on to it, and I said, here I am, and

1:05:23.395 --> 1:05:26.355
<v Speaker 1>he plays with the camera and he shoots the girl,

1:05:26.395 --> 1:05:28.795
<v Speaker 1>whose name was Una, by the way, and had a

1:05:28.875 --> 1:05:32.355
<v Speaker 1>vocabulary of a long shoreman. Oh my god, I've never

1:05:32.395 --> 1:05:36.835
<v Speaker 1>to this day heard anybody swear as much male, female, young,

1:05:37.195 --> 1:05:40.595
<v Speaker 1>old or from another planet. Was it was like, lady,

1:05:40.795 --> 1:05:43.395
<v Speaker 1>don't talk like that. There are ladies here. So it's

1:05:43.475 --> 1:05:46.195
<v Speaker 1>Una and then this guy and me and like a

1:05:46.275 --> 1:05:49.555
<v Speaker 1>crew of fifty or sixty shooting this commercial. And it's

1:05:49.555 --> 1:05:52.875
<v Speaker 1>still it's still raining, just gently, and I'm standing up

1:05:52.915 --> 1:05:56.555
<v Speaker 1>on top of this rock. So all of a sudden

1:05:56.635 --> 1:05:58.715
<v Speaker 1>he goes with the camera and he says no, the

1:05:58.755 --> 1:06:00.835
<v Speaker 1>angle is way too high. Can you come down a

1:06:00.835 --> 1:06:03.555
<v Speaker 1>little bit? And I said, yeah, there's a foothole down there,

1:06:03.595 --> 1:06:06.715
<v Speaker 1>about five feet down. So again I'm on top of

1:06:06.915 --> 1:06:08.995
<v Speaker 1>let's say it's twelve feet. It could have been more

1:06:09.035 --> 1:06:10.675
<v Speaker 1>than that, it could have been closer to twenty. But

1:06:10.715 --> 1:06:13.755
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to say conservably it's twelve feet up and

1:06:13.955 --> 1:06:18.515
<v Speaker 1>I'm six feet four, so I'm eighteen roughly feet in

1:06:18.555 --> 1:06:21.035
<v Speaker 1>the air. My head is anyway, and I'm holding on

1:06:21.075 --> 1:06:22.635
<v Speaker 1>to the top of this thing, and I'm now going

1:06:22.715 --> 1:06:24.315
<v Speaker 1>to come down five feet. I said, I'm going to

1:06:24.355 --> 1:06:26.475
<v Speaker 1>come down to there. He goes, that should work perfectly,

1:06:26.515 --> 1:06:28.595
<v Speaker 1>and then we're wrapped, and then i'll see you tomorrow

1:06:28.595 --> 1:06:30.995
<v Speaker 1>at the mansion for the indoor commercial, the second commercial.

1:06:31.195 --> 1:06:32.915
<v Speaker 1>And I said, great, he said, and we have lunch.

1:06:32.955 --> 1:06:36.315
<v Speaker 1>I said, is it Boston Market? He went no, okay,

1:06:36.475 --> 1:06:38.835
<v Speaker 1>So now I begin to move down to this other

1:06:38.995 --> 1:06:41.995
<v Speaker 1>location five feet down, so only about seven feet off

1:06:41.995 --> 1:06:45.075
<v Speaker 1>the ground. And I put my foot down and I'm secure,

1:06:45.115 --> 1:06:46.875
<v Speaker 1>and I said, okay, I'm good, but I'm going to

1:06:46.915 --> 1:06:48.395
<v Speaker 1>have to hold on to it because I don't have

1:06:48.515 --> 1:06:51.875
<v Speaker 1>full balance here. And he says okay, and as he

1:06:51.915 --> 1:06:54.755
<v Speaker 1>begins to set the camera up. I noticed something very

1:06:54.835 --> 1:06:58.715
<v Speaker 1>unhappy occurring. The brand new shoe, which has been polished

1:06:58.755 --> 1:07:01.555
<v Speaker 1>to oh, I don't know, like the Hope diamond or something.

1:07:01.795 --> 1:07:05.755
<v Speaker 1>It's been polished. It's shiny, it's not holding. I'm fine.

1:07:06.155 --> 1:07:09.995
<v Speaker 1>The shoe is giving way. Gravity works, and it's working

1:07:10.075 --> 1:07:14.755
<v Speaker 1>on my shoe. It is slowly, without any effort on

1:07:14.795 --> 1:07:18.075
<v Speaker 1>my part or any loss of balance, my shoe on

1:07:18.115 --> 1:07:21.035
<v Speaker 1>which I am balanced one foot in the air and

1:07:21.075 --> 1:07:23.755
<v Speaker 1>one foot on this rock, or as I like to

1:07:23.755 --> 1:07:27.795
<v Speaker 1>tell it, on top of the cliff, one foot there.

1:07:27.835 --> 1:07:30.795
<v Speaker 1>And it is sliding off, and it's sliding off in

1:07:30.835 --> 1:07:33.195
<v Speaker 1>my mind slowly enough that I have a little time

1:07:33.235 --> 1:07:37.355
<v Speaker 1>to think. And what I'm thinking is, hey, jackass, you're

1:07:37.395 --> 1:07:41.595
<v Speaker 1>about to fall off this cliff. Well, sure enough I did,

1:07:41.635 --> 1:07:44.395
<v Speaker 1>and somehow, and I wasn't in the air very long.

1:07:44.515 --> 1:07:47.515
<v Speaker 1>Obviously it wasn't that high up. But I was in

1:07:47.595 --> 1:07:50.195
<v Speaker 1>the air long enough and had those few seconds before

1:07:50.275 --> 1:07:53.195
<v Speaker 1>the shoe gave way. And you should have seen the

1:07:53.435 --> 1:07:55.555
<v Speaker 1>gouge in it. It looks like somebody had hit it

1:07:55.555 --> 1:07:59.915
<v Speaker 1>with a scimitar. The gouge in the so shoe. They

1:07:59.995 --> 1:08:02.075
<v Speaker 1>let me keep the shoes and I kept the shoes

1:08:03.755 --> 1:08:06.955
<v Speaker 1>while I'm to fall, And while I'm falling, I remembered

1:08:06.995 --> 1:08:09.835
<v Speaker 1>the course of Judo I took in nineteen sixty five,

1:08:10.155 --> 1:08:12.795
<v Speaker 1>which I hated every moment of. But it all came

1:08:12.835 --> 1:08:15.635
<v Speaker 1>back to me weeks and weeks of judo. I hated Judo,

1:08:15.675 --> 1:08:17.755
<v Speaker 1>and I hated my parents for sending me to Judo.

1:08:18.035 --> 1:08:21.315
<v Speaker 1>And then all of a sudden, all of the things

1:08:21.355 --> 1:08:23.715
<v Speaker 1>they taught me about how to fall came back to

1:08:23.755 --> 1:08:26.915
<v Speaker 1>me all at once. Relax, put your hands over your head,

1:08:27.155 --> 1:08:31.075
<v Speaker 1>spread out your fall so that everything hits simultaneously. Fud.

1:08:31.435 --> 1:08:32.555
<v Speaker 1>I'm on the beach.

1:08:34.235 --> 1:08:34.395
<v Speaker 4>Now.

1:08:34.395 --> 1:08:36.395
<v Speaker 1>You might think a beach is made out of sand.

1:08:36.435 --> 1:08:38.955
<v Speaker 1>But here's something I discovered that had not really occurred

1:08:38.995 --> 1:08:41.675
<v Speaker 1>to me until that day in December of nineteen ninety six,

1:08:41.795 --> 1:08:48.355
<v Speaker 1>which is that you don't really think about this too much,

1:08:48.755 --> 1:08:51.675
<v Speaker 1>but a beach with a lot of rocks sticking out

1:08:51.675 --> 1:08:54.635
<v Speaker 1>of it, it's all rock and there's just sand on

1:08:54.715 --> 1:08:57.235
<v Speaker 1>top of the rocks. So when I land, I don't

1:08:57.315 --> 1:08:59.955
<v Speaker 1>land on any other rocks, thank god. But I land

1:08:59.995 --> 1:09:04.915
<v Speaker 1>on really hard sand packed on top of rocks, they

1:09:04.995 --> 1:09:07.395
<v Speaker 1>tell me. And unfortunately the guy had not set up

1:09:07.395 --> 1:09:09.155
<v Speaker 1>any of the cameras yet, so none of this was

1:09:09.195 --> 1:09:12.195
<v Speaker 1>captured on film. I would pay thousands to see this.

1:09:12.955 --> 1:09:14.955
<v Speaker 1>They tell me that it looked like I had been

1:09:15.035 --> 1:09:18.475
<v Speaker 1>shot off of the top of the rock, or that

1:09:18.555 --> 1:09:21.235
<v Speaker 1>I was already dead when I fell, because I did

1:09:21.275 --> 1:09:24.675
<v Speaker 1>the fall correctly. I spread it out and covered my

1:09:24.795 --> 1:09:27.755
<v Speaker 1>head and hit with a thud. The first person to

1:09:27.795 --> 1:09:31.395
<v Speaker 1>see me was Una from Chicago. Hey, you want some

1:09:31.675 --> 1:09:33.795
<v Speaker 1>iced tea? You want some tea? And I went, I

1:09:33.875 --> 1:09:36.115
<v Speaker 1>don't think that's what they do when you fall off

1:09:36.155 --> 1:09:41.395
<v Speaker 1>a rock. Anyway, it hurt, but I felt initially like

1:09:41.555 --> 1:09:44.555
<v Speaker 1>I didn't hit my head. I know that, and that's good.

1:09:44.675 --> 1:09:48.275
<v Speaker 1>And nothing else seems broken. And slowly they lift me

1:09:48.395 --> 1:09:52.635
<v Speaker 1>up to a sitting position and everybody just says, oh

1:09:52.675 --> 1:09:54.555
<v Speaker 1>my god, we thought you were dead. And I said,

1:09:54.555 --> 1:09:57.635
<v Speaker 1>not quite, not yet, and but I said, to give

1:09:57.675 --> 1:09:59.795
<v Speaker 1>this time. I'm not sure, I'm one hundred percent. Well,

1:09:59.795 --> 1:10:01.155
<v Speaker 1>we're going to get you to the hospital. I went,

1:10:01.195 --> 1:10:03.635
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that's a bad idea. So I sit

1:10:03.755 --> 1:10:05.995
<v Speaker 1>up and then they get me up on my feet.

1:10:06.075 --> 1:10:08.995
<v Speaker 1>So so far, it's no broken legs, no broken arms.

1:10:08.995 --> 1:10:12.315
<v Speaker 1>I'm not screaming in pain. Maybe there are internal injuries.

1:10:12.355 --> 1:10:15.115
<v Speaker 1>We better have a good look. Now they have to

1:10:15.155 --> 1:10:17.835
<v Speaker 1>walk me and I do the classic movie scene where

1:10:17.835 --> 1:10:20.635
<v Speaker 1>I've got an arm draped over the two biggest grips

1:10:20.715 --> 1:10:24.835
<v Speaker 1>on the production crew and I am being essentially dragged

1:10:24.875 --> 1:10:28.755
<v Speaker 1>over to the one hundred stairs up to Pacific Coast Highway.

1:10:29.115 --> 1:10:31.235
<v Speaker 1>And we do this and I don't know how long

1:10:31.275 --> 1:10:33.035
<v Speaker 1>it takes. And we get up there, and because it's

1:10:33.075 --> 1:10:35.795
<v Speaker 1>a state park up there, the first person I have

1:10:35.835 --> 1:10:39.035
<v Speaker 1>to report to is the ranger. Like I'm in a

1:10:39.155 --> 1:10:44.715
<v Speaker 1>Yogi Bear commercial, Hey Boo boo, I fell off a cliff,

1:10:45.635 --> 1:10:48.035
<v Speaker 1>and he has to check me out, and he has

1:10:48.115 --> 1:10:51.995
<v Speaker 1>to call the fire department because it's a state park.

1:10:52.675 --> 1:10:56.195
<v Speaker 1>This is the red nevermind graft and fraud supposedly in California.

1:10:56.235 --> 1:10:59.555
<v Speaker 1>This is the real problem bureaucracy for people who fall

1:10:59.595 --> 1:11:03.475
<v Speaker 1>off cliffs. That's where the money is going. So they

1:11:04.355 --> 1:11:07.755
<v Speaker 1>they call the fire department to come check me out.

1:11:07.955 --> 1:11:11.235
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm not on fire, I know that some parts

1:11:11.235 --> 1:11:13.595
<v Speaker 1>of me feel like I might be on fire. I

1:11:13.635 --> 1:11:17.875
<v Speaker 1>went into the bathroom in the ranger station and did

1:11:17.915 --> 1:11:21.275
<v Speaker 1>my business there without any blood anywhere, and I'm like, okay,

1:11:21.475 --> 1:11:23.715
<v Speaker 1>hurts on the side here and it was beginning to

1:11:23.795 --> 1:11:25.635
<v Speaker 1>hurt on my left side, and I found I could

1:11:25.635 --> 1:11:28.755
<v Speaker 1>relieve this by raising my left hand an arm up

1:11:28.755 --> 1:11:31.235
<v Speaker 1>way above my head and suddenly didn't hurt quite as much.

1:11:31.355 --> 1:11:33.755
<v Speaker 1>The problem was after that, once I tried to put

1:11:33.915 --> 1:11:36.235
<v Speaker 1>that down, and obviously it was that side I had

1:11:36.315 --> 1:11:39.035
<v Speaker 1>landed on. Once I tried to put that side down,

1:11:39.635 --> 1:11:42.275
<v Speaker 1>it felt like, oh good, you were right to call

1:11:42.315 --> 1:11:44.115
<v Speaker 1>the fire department. It felt like my arm was on

1:11:44.195 --> 1:11:48.195
<v Speaker 1>fire and my torso and my left leg. The moment

1:11:48.275 --> 1:11:50.835
<v Speaker 1>I put my hand down and stopped looking like I

1:11:50.915 --> 1:11:53.035
<v Speaker 1>was calling for a New York City cab on the

1:11:53.075 --> 1:11:57.995
<v Speaker 1>streets of Santa Monica, California, or Malibu, California. The moment

1:11:58.035 --> 1:12:01.475
<v Speaker 1>that happened, shooting red, flaming pain from the tips of

1:12:01.515 --> 1:12:04.515
<v Speaker 1>my toes to the tips of my fingers. So finally

1:12:04.515 --> 1:12:06.555
<v Speaker 1>the ambulance shows up and they go, well, we're going

1:12:06.635 --> 1:12:10.115
<v Speaker 1>to take you over to Saint John Saint Mary's in

1:12:10.195 --> 1:12:11.955
<v Speaker 1>Santa Monica. We're going to take you over there and

1:12:11.995 --> 1:12:14.675
<v Speaker 1>we're going to examine you. And I said, well, okay,

1:12:14.675 --> 1:12:16.075
<v Speaker 1>how are we going to do this? Because I can't

1:12:16.155 --> 1:12:18.675
<v Speaker 1>when I bring my arm down, I can see I

1:12:18.675 --> 1:12:20.475
<v Speaker 1>can't bring my arm down. Well, I don't know, we're

1:12:20.475 --> 1:12:21.915
<v Speaker 1>gonna get you on the gurney. I said, does the

1:12:21.915 --> 1:12:23.995
<v Speaker 1>gurney have locks? And they go yeah, So they put

1:12:23.995 --> 1:12:25.595
<v Speaker 1>the locks in the gurney. I said, I'm doing a

1:12:25.635 --> 1:12:28.275
<v Speaker 1>trust fall here, and I stuck my butt against the

1:12:28.395 --> 1:12:30.795
<v Speaker 1>edge of this gurney and just fell backwards, and they

1:12:30.835 --> 1:12:32.715
<v Speaker 1>sort of caught me as I fell, and then they

1:12:32.715 --> 1:12:35.635
<v Speaker 1>put me in the in the in the ambulance, and

1:12:35.795 --> 1:12:38.715
<v Speaker 1>they hit every pothole between there and the ambulance. And

1:12:38.835 --> 1:12:41.915
<v Speaker 1>I called my agent, and after she stopped laughing, she said,

1:12:41.955 --> 1:12:43.835
<v Speaker 1>I'll make a few phone calls and we'll make sure

1:12:43.835 --> 1:12:46.795
<v Speaker 1>you're okay. We'll get you a doctor. So now I'm

1:12:46.835 --> 1:12:50.035
<v Speaker 1>waiting to be x rayed and perhaps mrid at this

1:12:50.115 --> 1:12:53.035
<v Speaker 1>hospital in Santa Monica going. I hope I still get

1:12:53.075 --> 1:12:55.715
<v Speaker 1>the money. They did get the shoot, what about tomorrow's

1:12:55.715 --> 1:12:58.435
<v Speaker 1>second I don't want them to This is going to

1:12:58.435 --> 1:13:00.675
<v Speaker 1>be a problem, and I can't sue anybody because it's

1:13:00.675 --> 1:13:03.715
<v Speaker 1>my production company that's done a deal to keep all

1:13:03.715 --> 1:13:05.795
<v Speaker 1>the two hundred and fifty five dollars that they're going

1:13:05.835 --> 1:13:08.835
<v Speaker 1>to give me. I'm not working as me, I'm working

1:13:08.835 --> 1:13:12.915
<v Speaker 1>as my company. So I'm paying for all damages. I

1:13:12.915 --> 1:13:15.915
<v Speaker 1>can sue myself for falling off the cliff. But I'm

1:13:15.915 --> 1:13:18.115
<v Speaker 1>sitting there and they've given me an injection, and then

1:13:18.155 --> 1:13:20.475
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, the phone rings and I reach into my

1:13:20.515 --> 1:13:22.875
<v Speaker 1>pocket with my left hand and just pick it up.

1:13:22.875 --> 1:13:24.795
<v Speaker 1>And it's my agent following up on a few things.

1:13:24.795 --> 1:13:27.195
<v Speaker 1>And I put my hand back and I dropped the

1:13:27.235 --> 1:13:29.915
<v Speaker 1>phone and I and I swing my legs off of

1:13:29.955 --> 1:13:32.155
<v Speaker 1>the gurney and reached down to get it. And I'm

1:13:32.195 --> 1:13:35.355
<v Speaker 1>on the floor with my and I'm like, wait a minute,

1:13:35.755 --> 1:13:40.435
<v Speaker 1>what happened to the volcano like pain on my left side.

1:13:40.435 --> 1:13:43.475
<v Speaker 1>I'm reaching with my left side and the nurse runs

1:13:43.515 --> 1:13:45.115
<v Speaker 1>over it says, no, get back on the gurney. What

1:13:45.115 --> 1:13:48.475
<v Speaker 1>are you doing? I said, why doesn't it hurt anymore?

1:13:49.275 --> 1:13:52.555
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's not that it doesn't hurt anymore. It

1:13:52.995 --> 1:13:55.835
<v Speaker 1>feels my leg. My leg feels like the one I

1:13:55.875 --> 1:13:58.995
<v Speaker 1>had when I was eleven years old. While I wasn't watching,

1:13:59.035 --> 1:14:01.955
<v Speaker 1>did you saw off my leg and attached the one

1:14:01.955 --> 1:14:03.795
<v Speaker 1>I had when I was eleven years old? Because I

1:14:03.795 --> 1:14:06.715
<v Speaker 1>don't need any help here, I can hop back to Connecticut.

1:14:06.755 --> 1:14:09.755
<v Speaker 1>This leg feels great. She said, we gave you morphine

1:14:10.075 --> 1:14:13.595
<v Speaker 1>and I went, oh, okay, now I get it. I said,

1:14:13.835 --> 1:14:15.915
<v Speaker 1>I want you all to sign a document that says

1:14:16.315 --> 1:14:19.195
<v Speaker 1>that you will never give me morphine again, because now

1:14:19.195 --> 1:14:22.395
<v Speaker 1>I understand why every morphine addict in the world became

1:14:22.435 --> 1:14:25.675
<v Speaker 1>an addict. And they went, we're not giving you anymore.

1:14:25.715 --> 1:14:28.595
<v Speaker 1>We really can't take care of tomorrow. So I go

1:14:28.755 --> 1:14:30.875
<v Speaker 1>back now to the hotel and I have some pain

1:14:30.995 --> 1:14:35.955
<v Speaker 1>medication and nothing's broken. There's no internal damage, and I'm

1:14:35.995 --> 1:14:39.595
<v Speaker 1>cleared to rest or work depending on how I feel.

1:14:39.635 --> 1:14:42.315
<v Speaker 1>We're shooting the second commercial the next day. It's in

1:14:42.675 --> 1:14:50.275
<v Speaker 1>Pasadena inside a old mansion with chandeliers, and it's really

1:14:50.315 --> 1:14:52.795
<v Speaker 1>it's the indoor version of the commercial you already heard.

1:14:52.995 --> 1:14:54.915
<v Speaker 1>And this is what that one sounds like.

1:14:55.115 --> 1:15:00.395
<v Speaker 2>Empty tortures want more.

1:15:01.235 --> 1:15:02.715
<v Speaker 3>There's a Banna from thin.

1:15:03.995 --> 1:15:05.995
<v Speaker 2>There's a tip eat something.

1:15:06.915 --> 1:15:09.355
<v Speaker 4>I recommend the new extreme carbage from Boston Market, like

1:15:09.435 --> 1:15:12.635
<v Speaker 4>the chicken cheese stick juicy slow roasted chicken, peppers and

1:15:12.675 --> 1:15:15.355
<v Speaker 4>onions smothered in four oui oui cheese is now get

1:15:15.355 --> 1:15:17.075
<v Speaker 4>a free sign and a free drink when you buy

1:15:17.075 --> 1:15:20.875
<v Speaker 4>an Extreme chicken cheese stick only at Boston Market. That

1:15:21.435 --> 1:15:23.315
<v Speaker 4>burning from within it's called hunger.

1:15:24.315 --> 1:15:26.715
<v Speaker 1>Obviously, what you can't see since you're not seeing the

1:15:26.795 --> 1:15:29.835
<v Speaker 1>video of that, is in that shot. They again had

1:15:29.835 --> 1:15:33.715
<v Speaker 1>me appear the kids are talking and doing the emptiness

1:15:33.795 --> 1:15:36.155
<v Speaker 1>inside and I get up and say eat something. I

1:15:36.195 --> 1:15:39.035
<v Speaker 1>had to be lying down on the floor out of

1:15:39.075 --> 1:15:43.435
<v Speaker 1>shot and raise my torso up into the shot between

1:15:43.475 --> 1:15:46.315
<v Speaker 1>the kids and deliver the line. And they said. The

1:15:46.355 --> 1:15:49.075
<v Speaker 1>next day, the director when I came in, had his

1:15:49.115 --> 1:15:50.755
<v Speaker 1>hand in front of his eyes. I can't look at you.

1:15:50.835 --> 1:15:54.555
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry. I nearly killed you. I can't believe

1:15:54.595 --> 1:15:56.755
<v Speaker 1>you're here. You're such a trooper, I said, tell everybody

1:15:56.755 --> 1:15:58.635
<v Speaker 1>you ever meet that I'm actually a trooper and a

1:15:58.675 --> 1:16:00.595
<v Speaker 1>team player. I will, I promise, I swear to God.

1:16:00.595 --> 1:16:02.595
<v Speaker 1>Don't sue us. I said, I can't sue you. I

1:16:02.595 --> 1:16:07.115
<v Speaker 1>can only sue myself. He said, can you do this?

1:16:07.155 --> 1:16:10.755
<v Speaker 1>Can you sit up from a line position? I said,

1:16:10.995 --> 1:16:13.955
<v Speaker 1>I think so, but I would think I could only

1:16:13.995 --> 1:16:16.995
<v Speaker 1>do it six or seven times. And the problem isn't

1:16:17.035 --> 1:16:20.275
<v Speaker 1>getting up, it's getting down. And he went oh. I said, so,

1:16:20.315 --> 1:16:22.115
<v Speaker 1>you're going to have to have my friends who dragged

1:16:22.155 --> 1:16:24.555
<v Speaker 1>me up the stairs at Leo Cabrio Beach the other

1:16:24.635 --> 1:16:27.035
<v Speaker 1>day yesterday. You're going to have to have them lower

1:16:27.115 --> 1:16:29.715
<v Speaker 1>me back to the floor after each take. And I

1:16:29.755 --> 1:16:33.075
<v Speaker 1>think we should only do seven of them. I said,

1:16:33.075 --> 1:16:34.555
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I'll go and we get to seven.

1:16:34.555 --> 1:16:35.955
<v Speaker 1>I'll let you know if I can do another one,

1:16:35.955 --> 1:16:38.155
<v Speaker 1>but I think that's the max. Well we did, I

1:16:38.195 --> 1:16:40.035
<v Speaker 1>think seven, and they loved them all and they were

1:16:40.075 --> 1:16:42.995
<v Speaker 1>all perfect, and we were done, and I flew home

1:16:43.075 --> 1:16:46.075
<v Speaker 1>the next day with my money and the two commercials,

1:16:46.635 --> 1:16:49.635
<v Speaker 1>and a couple of times they had me go to

1:16:49.675 --> 1:16:53.555
<v Speaker 1>Hartford and record updates for the prices, so the part

1:16:53.595 --> 1:16:56.235
<v Speaker 1>where they show the food, they changed it or they

1:16:56.315 --> 1:16:58.835
<v Speaker 1>changed the nature of the sides or whatever. And each

1:16:58.955 --> 1:17:01.795
<v Speaker 1>time they would give me an extra like thousand dollars

1:17:01.835 --> 1:17:03.875
<v Speaker 1>to do this. So now I'm approaching more like three

1:17:03.955 --> 1:17:07.435
<v Speaker 1>hundred thousand. And the early returns on the commercials, which

1:17:07.435 --> 1:17:10.035
<v Speaker 1>they cut almost immediately and put on the air on

1:17:10.275 --> 1:17:13.475
<v Speaker 1>every sporting event in America in the winter of ninety

1:17:13.515 --> 1:17:15.515
<v Speaker 1>six ninety seven, mostly in the second half of that,

1:17:15.795 --> 1:17:19.995
<v Speaker 1>they're getting tremendous results. Boston Market had been a waste

1:17:20.115 --> 1:17:22.795
<v Speaker 1>land until four or five in the afternoon because all

1:17:22.835 --> 1:17:27.115
<v Speaker 1>it was conceived as having been Boston chicken was the

1:17:27.395 --> 1:17:29.635
<v Speaker 1>whole dinner when you didn't have time to cook, and

1:17:29.675 --> 1:17:31.555
<v Speaker 1>you could get a whole chicken or a half chicken

1:17:31.675 --> 1:17:33.955
<v Speaker 1>and a bunch of sides, and the sides were pretty good,

1:17:34.275 --> 1:17:35.875
<v Speaker 1>and you could go in there during the day and

1:17:35.875 --> 1:17:38.915
<v Speaker 1>get a sandwich or chicken sandwich, but nobody did. These

1:17:39.075 --> 1:17:41.515
<v Speaker 1>ads were to put people in there to buy the

1:17:41.595 --> 1:17:45.235
<v Speaker 1>five dollars meal. And they wanted more commercials, and they said,

1:17:45.275 --> 1:17:47.635
<v Speaker 1>we're going to shoot three more commercials. We're not going

1:17:47.675 --> 1:17:49.075
<v Speaker 1>to give it, can't give you two hundred and fifty

1:17:49.115 --> 1:17:51.075
<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars, but we need you for three days, and

1:17:51.115 --> 1:17:53.915
<v Speaker 1>we'll give you fifty thousand dollars a day, which somehow

1:17:53.955 --> 1:17:57.235
<v Speaker 1>sounded better. So now I've already made three hundred thousand

1:17:57.275 --> 1:18:00.555
<v Speaker 1>dollars off of this commercial. Admittedly I nearly killed myself

1:18:00.595 --> 1:18:03.075
<v Speaker 1>making this commercial, but that ads did the story. And

1:18:03.115 --> 1:18:06.235
<v Speaker 1>now the commercials are wonderful, successful, and now we go

1:18:06.275 --> 1:18:09.875
<v Speaker 1>and shoot three more, one of which involves me interrupting

1:18:09.955 --> 1:18:13.595
<v Speaker 1>a grunge band and they stage a concert in Astoria,

1:18:13.715 --> 1:18:21.515
<v Speaker 1>Queens at the old Bread Factory, Silver Cup Studios. It's wonderful.

1:18:21.555 --> 1:18:24.675
<v Speaker 1>I go to Queens. It's marvelous. Fifty thousand dollars that

1:18:24.755 --> 1:18:27.795
<v Speaker 1>had cast of one hundred people a mosh pit they

1:18:27.835 --> 1:18:30.275
<v Speaker 1>fake carry me off. There's another one in which I

1:18:30.355 --> 1:18:33.515
<v Speaker 1>interrupt a soap opera and lean up off the table

1:18:33.835 --> 1:18:37.715
<v Speaker 1>and stop the amorous doctor talking to the buxom nurse.

1:18:37.915 --> 1:18:41.275
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there were really high quality, very entertaining commercials,

1:18:41.875 --> 1:18:46.475
<v Speaker 1>and then came the news that the commercials had worked

1:18:46.955 --> 1:18:53.595
<v Speaker 1>immediately and too well. The premise was get people in

1:18:53.635 --> 1:18:56.235
<v Speaker 1>there to buy the four or five dollars lunch. We're

1:18:56.275 --> 1:19:00.955
<v Speaker 1>selling enough dinners. What they did not anticipate would be

1:19:01.675 --> 1:19:05.595
<v Speaker 1>that suddenly people who were buying the sixteen dollar dinners

1:19:06.435 --> 1:19:08.155
<v Speaker 1>would say, hey, wait a minute, I don't need the

1:19:08.195 --> 1:19:10.635
<v Speaker 1>whole dinner. I'll just go in and get the sandwich

1:19:10.955 --> 1:19:15.755
<v Speaker 1>for four dollars. So this wasn't true with every single purchase,

1:19:15.755 --> 1:19:19.755
<v Speaker 1>but largely every time my brilliant performance and their brilliant

1:19:19.755 --> 1:19:22.795
<v Speaker 1>commercials worked and convinced somebody to buy a sandwich at

1:19:22.835 --> 1:19:26.475
<v Speaker 1>lunchtime at Boston Market. It cost Boston Market twelve bucks

1:19:26.875 --> 1:19:29.715
<v Speaker 1>and it worked brilliantly. We got an award for these

1:19:29.755 --> 1:19:33.475
<v Speaker 1>ads because of the premise of insulting and mocking heroin Chic.

1:19:33.515 --> 1:19:37.195
<v Speaker 1>We got an award from a national eating disorders society

1:19:37.355 --> 1:19:41.115
<v Speaker 1>because apparently this clicked with kids who had this problem.

1:19:41.235 --> 1:19:45.995
<v Speaker 1>It clicked particularly with high school girls. It was actually

1:19:46.035 --> 1:19:48.795
<v Speaker 1>performing something in a small way of a public service,

1:19:49.075 --> 1:19:51.355
<v Speaker 1>to say nothing of the fact that they gave me

1:19:52.195 --> 1:19:56.675
<v Speaker 1>half a million dollars. Basically, the problem was within a

1:19:56.755 --> 1:20:00.355
<v Speaker 1>year Boston Market was nine hundred million dollars in debt,

1:20:00.555 --> 1:20:04.515
<v Speaker 1>and most of it was my fault. I believe this

1:20:04.795 --> 1:20:07.155
<v Speaker 1>is the case. Whereas there have been humans who have

1:20:07.195 --> 1:20:11.675
<v Speaker 1>appeared on camera actors in subsequent Boston Market ads since

1:20:11.755 --> 1:20:15.755
<v Speaker 1>nineteen ninety seven, they have not had a spokesperson, they

1:20:15.795 --> 1:20:20.435
<v Speaker 1>have not had an identifiable person on there. Ever, Again,

1:20:20.835 --> 1:20:23.955
<v Speaker 1>they were so traumatized they went bankrupt. They were sold,

1:20:23.995 --> 1:20:30.435
<v Speaker 1>I think to McDonald's. The commercials worked, not wisely but

1:20:30.755 --> 1:20:34.755
<v Speaker 1>too well. On the other hand, I got the money,

1:20:34.915 --> 1:20:38.515
<v Speaker 1>and I can always say eat something.

1:20:52.435 --> 1:20:53.115
<v Speaker 2>By the way, I'm a.

1:20:53.195 --> 1:20:58.275
<v Speaker 1>Vegetarian now, so eat something, but not that. Also, I

1:20:58.395 --> 1:21:04.355
<v Speaker 1>just like to repeat ouey, gooey. It took a long

1:21:04.395 --> 1:21:08.235
<v Speaker 1>time to live that down. I've done all the damage

1:21:08.235 --> 1:21:10.035
<v Speaker 1>I can do here. Thank you for listening. I hope

1:21:10.035 --> 1:21:13.395
<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed my brief twenty one second long presidential campaign.

1:21:15.035 --> 1:21:18.115
<v Speaker 1>Musical directors have Countdowner John Phillips Chanel on keyboards and

1:21:18.115 --> 1:21:22.035
<v Speaker 1>handling orchestration and Brian Ray on guitarist, bass and drums.

1:21:22.035 --> 1:21:25.555
<v Speaker 1>Their work is produced by Tko Brothers. Nancy Fauss, the

1:21:25.595 --> 1:21:28.835
<v Speaker 1>best baseball stadium organist ever, is responsible for the satirical

1:21:28.835 --> 1:21:33.355
<v Speaker 1>and pithy musical comments. The sports theme is the Old

1:21:33.475 --> 1:21:37.115
<v Speaker 1>Olderman Show theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren

1:21:37.195 --> 1:21:40.555
<v Speaker 1>Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. And by the way, all

1:21:40.595 --> 1:21:44.835
<v Speaker 1>the Oldermans are Old Oldermans now. Other music arranged and

1:21:44.875 --> 1:21:47.955
<v Speaker 1>performed by the group No Horns Allowed. And my announcer today,

1:21:48.075 --> 1:21:51.635
<v Speaker 1>in light of my earlier comments about the Bush administration,

1:21:51.955 --> 1:21:58.195
<v Speaker 1>was my late friend Nick Shaney. This program was produced

1:21:58.195 --> 1:22:02.675
<v Speaker 1>by Ted. Everything else was, as always my fault. That's

1:22:02.715 --> 1:22:05.595
<v Speaker 1>countdown for today. Day four hundred and forty two of

1:22:05.675 --> 1:22:09.955
<v Speaker 1>America held hostage again, but just one twenty one days

1:22:10.035 --> 1:22:12.555
<v Speaker 1>until the scheduled end of Trump's lame duck and lame

1:22:12.595 --> 1:22:17.675
<v Speaker 1>brained term unless he is removed sooner by Epstein and

1:22:19.995 --> 1:22:25.595
<v Speaker 1>Don Lemon. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday Bulletins as

1:22:25.595 --> 1:22:28.435
<v Speaker 1>the news merits until the next edition. I'm Keith Olderman.

1:22:28.515 --> 1:22:34.435
<v Speaker 1>Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.

1:22:47.995 --> 1:22:49.315
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was talking to President.

1:22:49.715 --> 1:22:53.675
<v Speaker 1>Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For

1:22:53.835 --> 1:22:58.715
<v Speaker 1>more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

1:22:58.995 --> 1:23:00.995
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you get your podcasts.