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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. So

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Speaker 1: nuclear War on Tuesday, the other part of dementia J

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Speaker 1: Trump's vile, multi religion blasphemous Easter post, not the he

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Speaker 1: is Effen Risen part. The other part is the operative part,

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Speaker 1: and the follow up post is the meaningful post. Tuesday

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Speaker 1: will be power plant day, he wrote, and Bridge day.

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Speaker 1: There will be nothing like it, he wrote, You'll be

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Speaker 1: living in hell, he wrote. Just watch, he wrote, and

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Speaker 1: he followed it four hours and thirty five minutes later

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Speaker 1: by writing, quote Tuesday, eight pm Eastern time, you left

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Speaker 1: out the be there Aloha. And in between, interspersed with

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Speaker 1: more of his new dial a stenographer calls to quote

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Speaker 1: reporters unquote with insane observations like if there's no deal today,

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Speaker 1: he's quote blowing up the whole country ABC, or I

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Speaker 1: am blowing up everything over there, axios. Or we're going

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Speaker 1: to bring them back to the stone ages where they belong.

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Speaker 1: From the somnambulance speech he gave last Wednesday night, this

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Speaker 1: is all a threat to use tactical nuclear weapons in Iran.

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Speaker 1: And even if it's just a threat, or even if

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Speaker 1: the nuclear part is hyperbole, it is still a threat

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Speaker 1: to use massive amounts of conventional ordinance. But Trump, of

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Speaker 1: course has longed to use nuclear weapons since the first

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Speaker 1: term because he's a sadist who wants to kill people.

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Speaker 1: He was asking his generals a decade ago why we

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Speaker 1: had them if we didn't use them, because the morals

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Speaker 1: and just as importantly, the repercussions of using them have

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Speaker 1: never occurred to him, and he truly, deeply, unshakeably believes

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Speaker 1: he is the first person ever to think of using

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Speaker 1: nuclear weapons, because he's smart and nobody else is smart.

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Speaker 1: He believes this just as he believes he was the

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Speaker 1: first person ever to think of using the government to

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Speaker 1: steal an election lost while he was in office, just

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Speaker 1: as it has not occurred to him that he would

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Speaker 1: be giving tacit permission to Russia to use nuclear weapons,

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Speaker 1: not just in Ukraine, but having first handed them to

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Speaker 1: Iran in response to this, to have Iran US nuclear

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Speaker 1: weapons in Israel if he uses nuclear weapons in Iran.

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Speaker 1: But he thinks that's not why it hasn't been done before.

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Speaker 1: He thinks it hasn't been done before because you're all stupid.

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Speaker 1: And of course then there's the other part Trump is

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Speaker 1: mentally unstable.

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Speaker 2: Quote.

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Speaker 1: I know all of you in his cabinet and him,

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Speaker 1: and he has gone insane, and all of you are

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Speaker 1: complicit unquote. Marjorie Taylor Green wrote that not two hours

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Speaker 1: after Trump's expletive threat. When Marjorie Taylor Green says Trump

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Speaker 1: is insane, guess what he's insane? Oh and a PostScript

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Speaker 1: from the newest member of Club Reality. Our president is

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Speaker 1: not a Christian, So here we are tomorrow is either

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Speaker 1: Taco Tuesday or thermonuclear Tuesday. All over the closure of

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Speaker 1: the Strait of Hormoze, which Trump caused, which Trump then

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Speaker 1: dismissed because he doesn't use the Strait of Hormuz, and

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Speaker 1: then dismissed it because he doesn't need the state of Hormuz,

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Speaker 1: then dismissed it because it would soon open itself open sesame,

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Speaker 1: and then quotes open the fucking straight, you crazy bastards,

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Speaker 1: because he wasn't getting his way. He doesn't know what

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Speaker 1: the Strait of Hormoz is. There were indications last week

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Speaker 1: he decided it was some sort of large supply of

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Speaker 1: oil or a barrel or something, or maybe somebody named Hormuz.

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Speaker 1: The problem other than the nuclear problem and the insanity

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Speaker 1: problem President Stilson, is that in thirty five days, Trump

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Speaker 1: has now publicly stated at least twenty eight different positions

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Speaker 1: about where this war is. If you think this is

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Speaker 1: a strategy, you must believe he is not in that

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Speaker 1: stage of dementia in which you not only forget what

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Speaker 1: you have said, not only forget how long the interval

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Speaker 1: has been since you last said anything, but you think

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Speaker 1: everybody else says all so forgotten what you said. This

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Speaker 1: is just the set of highlights of his opinions un

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Speaker 1: around since March third, on which he said, essentially we

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Speaker 1: won the war. On the seventh he said we defeated Iran.

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Speaker 1: On the ninth he said we must attack Iran. He

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Speaker 1: said the war is ending almost completely and very beautifully,

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Speaker 1: and still wanted to attack it some more. March twelfth,

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Speaker 1: we did win, but we haven't won completely. March thirteenth,

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Speaker 1: we won completely. March fourteenth, he asked for help from

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Speaker 1: the Allies. March fifteenth he threatened the Allies and said

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Speaker 1: if they didn't help, he would certainly remember. March sixteenth

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Speaker 1: he said, no, actually we don't need any help now.

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Speaker 1: I was just testing you to see who would help.

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Speaker 1: Who's listening to me? Ah, But if NATO doesn't help,

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Speaker 1: they'll suffer. I haven't decided what yet, but I'm king

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Speaker 1: lear here and they'll suffer something as soon as I

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Speaker 1: think of it. March seventeenth, he said we neither need

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Speaker 1: nor want NATO's help, and he also said he didn't

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Speaker 1: need congressional approval to withdraw from NATO, even though there's

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Speaker 1: a law that was put in there basically by Marco Rubio,

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Speaker 1: who seems to work for him now if he remembers

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Speaker 1: that much. March eighteenth, Trump said our allies must cooperate

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Speaker 1: in reopening Hormuz. On the nineteenth, he said, US allies

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Speaker 1: need to get a grip to step up to help

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Speaker 1: open the Strait of Hormuz. March twentieth, he called NATO cowards.

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Speaker 1: March twenty first, he said, we don't use it. We

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Speaker 1: don't need to open it. March twenty second, he said

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Speaker 1: this is the last time, and he gave Iran forty

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Speaker 1: eight hours and added that Iran was dead. March twenty thirty,

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Speaker 1: said he's going to give him more time. Forty eight

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Speaker 1: hours is flexible. March twenty fourth, the war is nearing

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Speaker 1: its end. That's the war that ended three weeks earlier.

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Speaker 1: March twenty fifth, we're still negotiating. March twenty sixth Iran

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Speaker 1: is begging for peace, and we're going to give them

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Speaker 1: more time. And they gave us a gift which he

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Speaker 1: apparently just made up out of thin air, some large

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Speaker 1: supply of oil. March twenty seventh, Talks with Iran are

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Speaker 1: going very well. March twenty eighth, the war would be

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Speaker 1: over soon. That's the war he declared over twice previously.

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Speaker 1: March twenty ninth, he said, maybe we will take carg Island,

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Speaker 1: maybe we won't. March thirtieth, he demanded they open the

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Speaker 1: strait or he was going to obliterate all the energy

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Speaker 1: infrastructure and the oil wells. March thirty first, he said,

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Speaker 1: we don't need the straight We have all the oil

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Speaker 1: we need, but the United Kingdom needed to do something

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Speaker 1: about it because they didn't have any oil. It's all

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Speaker 1: their problem. April first, he now said the war, which

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Speaker 1: is declared over three times already, will be over in

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Speaker 1: two to three weeks. April fourth, he said Iran has

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Speaker 1: forty eight hours or he would rain down Hell. And

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Speaker 1: then yesterday April fifth, he said, in addition to saying

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Speaker 1: Praise be to Allah, open the fucking strait. He gave

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Speaker 1: them until Tuesday night, which meant that the deadline of

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Speaker 1: April fourth, which was April sixth, had now been extended

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Speaker 1: to April seventh. These are not responses to changes on

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Speaker 1: the ground or updates to the military scenario. These are

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Speaker 1: not part of the Nixonian Madman theory. At best. These

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Speaker 1: are the figurative RFK Junior memorial worms in Trump's brain turning.

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Speaker 1: Do I think He's going to nuke Iran tomorrow?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: Would I have thought the Japanese were really gonna bomb

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Speaker 1: Pearl Harbor in December nineteen forty one, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: They court martialled the General Billy Mitchell, who had insisted

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Speaker 1: in the twenties that they would. Billy Mitchell, he knew

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Speaker 1: what he was talking about the court martial. Would I

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Speaker 1: have thought we were going to drop full size atomic

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Speaker 1: weapons not once, but twice on Japan in nineteen forty five,

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, I am not.

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Speaker 1: Making any moral or military comparisons between either of those

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Speaker 1: nightmares and this nightmare, except for this one detail, and

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Speaker 1: one detail only. The Japanese military dictatorship in the nineteen

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Speaker 1: forties engaged in magical thinking. They were going to win,

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Speaker 1: not because they were attacking Pearl Harbor, or they had

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Speaker 1: the perfect defense and soldiers and civilians who were willing

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Speaker 1: to die to the last man on the island. They

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Speaker 1: were going to win because the Americans were weak Westerners

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Speaker 1: who had no stomach for conflict and no capacity to

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Speaker 1: withstand true militaristic spirit and the invincibility of the war fighter.

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Speaker 1: Now where have I heard that word war fighter recently?

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Speaker 1: This might be a good time to raise the possibility

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Speaker 1: that if the last ten months are re read from

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Speaker 1: a slightly more jaundice point of view, you could see them,

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Speaker 1: And this is not to excuse Trump at all, but

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Speaker 1: you could see them as a kind of soft military

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Speaker 1: overthrow of the government of the United States of America

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Speaker 1: by Pete Asshole Hegseeth, who fired all the minority generals,

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Speaker 1: who fired the generals who tried to prevent the firing

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Speaker 1: of the already generals, who fired all the non religious nuts,

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Speaker 1: who fired anybody who would stand up to the use

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Speaker 1: of serious weapons lack tactical nukes. Who changed the rules

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Speaker 1: so that everybody on every army base can keep a

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Speaker 1: civilian weapon with them to shoot anybody who tries to

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Speaker 1: stop what's going on on an army base. Who decided

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Speaker 1: that all Trump needed to see every morning was a

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Speaker 1: SportsCenter highlight reel American troops, excuse me, warfighters blowing stuff

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Speaker 1: up in Iran, and he didn't need nor want any

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Speaker 1: other kind of update on what was happening there. Who

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Speaker 1: has a Crusader cross tattooed on his chest. Who was

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Speaker 1: so crazy in his previous line of work that Fox

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Speaker 1: would only put him on on the weekends. Who was

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Speaker 1: accused by his top aid last year of dressing up

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Speaker 1: in a disguise to slip their security detail to go

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Speaker 1: out drinking. Who speaks in a string of apocalyptic cliches

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Speaker 1: but is convinced he's winning the argument for the hearts

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Speaker 1: and minds of America and is on a mission from God.

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Speaker 1: Whose behavior was so alarming, Whose behavior besides Trump that

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Speaker 1: senators and military vets Mark Kelly and Alyssa Slotkin plus

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Speaker 1: four congress people made a video reminding troops and oh,

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Speaker 1: by the way, they never said just troops. The generals

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Speaker 1: were allowed to watch this video too. Who was doing

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Speaker 1: such alarming things that these guys said to the troops

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Speaker 1: and the generals that you are obligated to not obey

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Speaker 1: an illegal order. Who does all that describe besides Trump? Well,

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Speaker 1: it's it's either Pete Hegseth or doctor Strangelove. Okay, I've

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Speaker 1: got a couple of cabinet changes to watch for, and no,

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Speaker 1: not heg Seth, although heg Seth seems to be animated

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Speaker 1: by a conviction that somebody in the military is going

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Speaker 1: to replace him, so he better fire them. So he's

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Speaker 1: firing those people too. No, not hag Seth, not Levitt.

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Speaker 1: Why ordinary rational Americans would think Trump would want to

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Speaker 1: get rid of heg Seth and Levitt when they are

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Speaker 1: doing exactly what he wants, I don't know. Heg Seth

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Speaker 1: and Levitt are literally his wet dreams. Washington Post says, though,

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Speaker 1: after the firing of Bondy, Trump has asked colleagues if

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Speaker 1: he should fire Laurie Chavez Dreamer, who seems to have

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Speaker 1: a hobby scandal going on that is not nearly as

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Speaker 1: exotic as Christy Nomes nice balloons, but just his dad

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Speaker 1: imaging Howard Lutnek humiliated himself and then went underground. But

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Speaker 1: Trump seems to have remembered that he works for him

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Speaker 1: and decided he's an ass clown, which he is. And

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Speaker 1: then there is the Bondi replacement. New York Magazine notes quote,

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Speaker 1: many in Trump world are circling the newly open job

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Speaker 1: of Attorney General. Janine Piro may be the most recklessly loyal. Again,

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Speaker 1: as I mentioned in Friday's Bolton, Bondy was not fired

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Speaker 1: because she butchered the Epstein files, though she did. Hey,

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Speaker 1: nuclear war is a diversion from the Epstein files. Well

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Speaker 1: why not? Bondy was fired because she didn't put any

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Speaker 1: of Trump's enemies in prison. Who tried to prosecute FED

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Speaker 1: chairman Jerome Powell without evidence and without conceding that evidence

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Speaker 1: was required, and without doing anything else that the grand

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Speaker 1: jury wanted. Pierro who has no self control or limits,

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Speaker 1: Pierro who will do anything to please the fewer, Pierro

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Speaker 1: who is thinking ahead for somebody to help her with

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Speaker 1: her demo tape when she goes back into reality TV.

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Speaker 1: Pierro and I got one change nobody's seen coming yet.

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Speaker 1: You have heard by now of Greg Phillips, the head

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Speaker 1: of Response and Recovery at FEMA, the nitwit in charge

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Speaker 1: of one thousand employees and a three hundred million dollar

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Speaker 1: budget election conspiracy theorist executive producer of the farcical Dinesh

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Speaker 1: Desuza film Two Thousand Mules that was so bad the

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Speaker 1: producers had to issue a retraction an apology to other

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theorists for being too conspiracy theory e. This guy's

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Speaker 1: will wash out from the Human Services Commission in Mississippi

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Speaker 1: and the Human Services Commission in Texas, but otherwise have

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Speaker 1: fairly routine, blank eyed, seriously unsuccessful business con man and

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Speaker 1: conservative until the other day when Greg Phillips claimed that

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Speaker 1: one evening, when he was just minding his business, some

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Speaker 1: supernatural force teleported him to a waffle house in Rome, Georgia.

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Speaker 1: Look cabinet wise, this is a no brainer, and mister

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Speaker 1: Phillips is obviously the no brain to do it. How

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Speaker 1: in the hell is this man not the Secretary of Transportation.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that these days there is so much stuff

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Speaker 1: being fired at us by the fascists that it seems

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Speaker 1: dangerous to stop looking forward even for one second. They

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Speaker 1: don't have any morals, they don't have any souls, but

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Speaker 1: they do have seemingly endless and unition. But as each

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Speaker 1: week we hear somebody else announced they are seeking the

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Speaker 1: Democratic nomination for twenty eight somebody else who has mistaken

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Speaker 1: their own notoriety for being qualified. Rom Immanuel, we need

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Speaker 1: to look behind us for a moment, because this week

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Speaker 1: it's Don Lemon, nice guy, not qualified, and Stephen A. Smith,

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Speaker 1: the sports guy, again insisting he would win all the

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Speaker 1: Democratic debates and he'd defeat all the other candidates in

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Speaker 1: the primaries. I'll get to them shortly. But about that

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Speaker 1: looking back thing. First, somebody asked me when this dynamic

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Speaker 1: took hold in this country, when we stopped our constant

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Speaker 1: fear from the fifties and sixties and seventies that the

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Speaker 1: Republicans would finally stop believing in the peaceful transfer of

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Speaker 1: power thing and the concept that they could lose, or

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Speaker 1: the prospect that their commentators and leaders might not be insightful,

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Speaker 1: just insane, and not finding new paths, but breaking the

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Speaker 1: fundamental premise of the United States of America and replacing

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Speaker 1: it with an authoritarian dictatorship, just as soon as they

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Speaker 1: could find somebody that lacking in scruples and that filled

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Speaker 1: with motivations to do societal wrong for their own private gain.

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Speaker 1: We always worried when they'd figure out how to monetize it,

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Speaker 1: so we always thought, who's the best Democrat to oppose them?

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Speaker 1: And then somehow we stopped thinking that way, and then

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Speaker 1: Trump monetized it. In discussing an answer to where this

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Speaker 1: hellscape began, that's somebody I was talking to, and I

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Speaker 1: threw out lots of names who made this happen, Some

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Speaker 1: whose goal it was Bin Laden Newt, Gingrich Rush Limbaugh,

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Speaker 1: Mitch McConnell, both George Bush's other terrorists, some whose goal

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Speaker 1: it most certainly was not, but they contributed to it anyway,

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Speaker 1: largely by naive Ta Merrick Garland, Joe Biden, and a

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Speaker 1: name I always throw out, and people recoil when I do.

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Speaker 1: But it is as true now as it was when

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Speaker 1: I did a commentary On the night of January nineteenth,

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Speaker 1: two thousand and nine. I was in Washington to anchor

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Speaker 1: the inauguration, and the camera behind me in the studio

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Speaker 1: at eight o'clock at night produced a photo of the

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Speaker 1: Capitol shimmering with anticipation of the inauguration, and I warned

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Speaker 1: of the mistake that the president elect as he became

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Speaker 1: the president barely fifteen hours later, would be making I

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Speaker 1: would have liked to have been wrong. I knew I

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Speaker 1: would not be, and I wasn't. I'm going to read

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Speaker 1: this commentary again, slightly edited to save a little time.

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Speaker 1: Nothing added. January nineteenth, two thousand and nine, roughly eight

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Speaker 1: fifty pm Eastern Standard time. We have tortured people, you

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Speaker 1: and I. You and I know we have tortured colleague

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Speaker 1: Sheik Mohammad. We not only know about it, we have

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Speaker 1: now heard it boasted about by one of the men who,

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Speaker 1: as of tomorrow, will no longer work for us, George

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Speaker 1: Walker Bush quote. The techniques were necessary and are necessary

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Speaker 1: to be used on a rare occasion to get information

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Speaker 1: necessary to protect the American people, Mister Bush said to

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Speaker 1: Fox News on January eleven. One such person who gave

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Speaker 1: us information was Colleage Shak Mohammad. I'm in the Oval office.

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Speaker 1: I'm told that we've captured Colleage Shake Mohammad, and the

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Speaker 1: professionals believe he has information necessary to secure the country.

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Speaker 1: So I asked what tools are available for us to

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Speaker 1: find information from him. They give me a list of tools,

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Speaker 1: and I said, are these tools deemed to be legal.

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Speaker 1: We got legal opinions before the decision was made. I

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Speaker 1: think when people study the history of this particular episode,

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Speaker 1: they will find out we gained good information from colleague

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Speaker 1: Shaik Mohammad in order to protect our country. We believe

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Speaker 1: that the information we gained helped save lives on American soil.

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Speaker 1: Never Mind mister Bush's delusions here. Never Mind all primary

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Speaker 1: sources who witnessed the interrogation of colleague Sheik Mohammad said

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Speaker 1: that they got nothing from him until they started buddying

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Speaker 1: up to him. Never Mind that mister Bush's supporter's favorite

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Speaker 1: torture construction, the mythical ticking time bomb scenario, not only

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Speaker 1: did not transpire here, but mister Bush has not even

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Speaker 1: had the imagination to pretend it did, just in order

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Speaker 1: to slightly cover his moral tracks. The key is that

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Speaker 1: this statement, if it had been under oath, would have

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Speaker 1: been a confession to a war crime. Mister Bush's proactive quote,

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Speaker 1: I asked what tools are available? Mister Bush is aware

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Speaker 1: of the legal haze into which he steps quote and

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Speaker 1: I said, are these tools deemed to be legal? Mister

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Speaker 1: Bush realizes the tools he has chosen have been used quote,

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Speaker 1: we gained good information from Colleage Shik Muhammad. Since we

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Speaker 1: know from previous admissions at the Pentagon that Colleage Shik

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Speaker 1: Muhammad was waterboarded, we can infer that mister Bush knew

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Speaker 1: he would be waterboarded and knew afterwards that he had

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Speaker 1: been waterboarded. Mister Bush is guilty. Mister President Elect, you

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Speaker 1: were first asked about all this on the eighteenth of

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Speaker 1: April last I am proud to say you were asked

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Speaker 1: about it by a fellow who got onto his high

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Speaker 1: school newspaper while I was its editor, Will Bunch of

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Speaker 1: the Philadelphia Daily News. I think you are right you

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Speaker 1: told Will if crimes have been committed, they should be investigated.

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Speaker 1: You are also right that I would not want my

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Speaker 1: first term consumed by what was perceived on the part

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Speaker 1: of Republicans as a partisan witch hunt, because I think

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Speaker 1: we have too many problems we have to solve. So

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Speaker 1: this is an area where I would want to exercise judgment.

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Speaker 1: Good amen, But in that brief interview was born, or

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Speaker 1: at least elucidated, a loophole genuine crimes as opposed to

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Speaker 1: really bad policies. Vice President Biden echoed this on December

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Speaker 1: twenty first, in a statement to which your transition team

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Speaker 1: has directed all those to whom this is a paramount issue,

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Speaker 1: Biden said, quote, the questions of whether or not a

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Speaker 1: criminal act has been committed or a very very bad

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Speaker 1: judgment has been engaged in is something the Justice Department decides.

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Speaker 1: After his comment last week with straightforwardness that was like

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Speaker 1: water to a lost soul in the Sahara, that waterboarding

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Speaker 1: is torture, your nominee at Justice, mister Eric Holder, echoed

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Speaker 1: all of this, quote. We don't want to criminalize policy

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Speaker 1: differences that might exist between the outgoing administration and the

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Speaker 1: administration that is about to take over. But mister President elect,

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Speaker 1: you have a confession since this statement of a structure

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Speaker 1: of policy prefacing policy itself from mister Biden, you have

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Speaker 1: had mister Bush's confession. Moreover, since mister Biden's statement, you

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Speaker 1: have a legal assessment from within the bowels of the

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Speaker 1: Bush administration itself. Quote, we tortured Mohammad al Katani, Judge

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Speaker 1: Susan Crawford told The Washington Post a week ago, quote

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Speaker 1: his treatment met the legal definition of torture. That was why.

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Speaker 1: Judge Crawford added that as the Bush administration official in

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Speaker 1: charge of deciding whether or not to bring detainees at

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Speaker 1: Guantanamo Bay to trial. She decided in Katani's case not

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Speaker 1: to This, Mister President Elect, was not the obvious water

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Speaker 1: boarding of colleague Sheik Muhammad. This was a more insidious

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Speaker 1: combination of legally approved procedures that still nearly killed this

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Speaker 1: man Katani. Quote. The techniques were all authorized, Judge Crawford continued, quote,

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Speaker 1: but the manner in which they applied them was overly

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Speaker 1: aggressive and too persistent. This was not any one particular act.

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Speaker 1: It was just a combination of things that had a

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Speaker 1: medical impact on him that hurt his health unquote. In fact,

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Speaker 1: mister President Elect, the records at gitmost showed that Katani's

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Speaker 1: heartbeat eventually slowed to thirty five beats per minute. Quote.

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Speaker 1: It was abusive and uncalled for and coercive, clearly coercive.

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Speaker 1: I sympathized with the intelligence gatherers in those days after

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Speaker 1: nine to eleven, not knowing what was coming next and

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Speaker 1: trying to gain information to keep us safe. But there

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Speaker 1: still has to be a line that we should not cross. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: what this has done, I think has tainted everything going forward.

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Speaker 1: End quote. If you are worried about the Republicans viewing

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Speaker 1: any torture prosecution in the way you postulated to Will

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Speaker 1: Bunch a partisan witch hunt, you can remind them that

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Speaker 1: the woman who said all that, Susan Crawford, is a

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Speaker 1: lifelong Republican. So, mister President elect, beyond whatever else will

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Speaker 1: come out as the whistleblowers begin to whistle just after

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Speaker 1: noon tomorrow, you have your predecessor's unofficial confession, and you

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Speaker 1: have this singular evaluation by a principle in your predecessor's administration,

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Speaker 1: this kind of line level confession. They are guilty of this,

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Speaker 1: mister President elect, since he talked to my friend Bunch

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Speaker 1: in April two thousand and eight. Mister Obama's only lengthy

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Speaker 1: comments about this were made to George Stephanopplis on January eleventh,

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Speaker 1: two thousand and nine. See if a disturbing theme becomes evident. Quote,

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Speaker 1: obviously we are going to look at past practices. I

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Speaker 1: don't believe that anybody is above the law. On the

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Speaker 1: other hand, I also have a belief that we need

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Speaker 1: to look forward as opposed to looking backwards. Later quote,

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Speaker 1: my instinct is to focus on how do we make

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Speaker 1: sure that moving forward we are doing the right thing.

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Speaker 1: Later still quote, my orientation is going to be to

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Speaker 1: move forward. Finally, quote what we have to focus on

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Speaker 1: as getting things right in the future, as opposed to

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Speaker 1: looking at what we got wrong in the past. Sadly,

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Speaker 1: as commendable as the intention here might seem, this country

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Speaker 1: has never moved forward without first cleansing itself of its

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Speaker 1: mistaken past. In point of fact, every effort to merely

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Speaker 1: draw a line in the sand and declare the past

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Speaker 1: dead has served only to keep the past alive, and

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Speaker 1: often to strengthen it. We compromised with slavery in the

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Speaker 1: Declaration of Independence, and four score and nine years later

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Speaker 1: we had buried six hundred thousand of our sons and

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Speaker 1: brothers in a civil war. After that war's ending, we

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Speaker 1: compromised with the social restructuring and protection of the rights

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Speaker 1: of minorities in the South, and a century later we

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Speaker 1: had not only not resolved racism, but black leaders were

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Speaker 1: still being assassinated in the cities of the South. We

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Speaker 1: compromised with Germany in the reconstruction of Europe after the

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Speaker 1: First World War. Nobody even arrested the German Kaiser, let

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Speaker 1: alone conducted war crimes trials then, and nineteen years later

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Speaker 1: there was an indescribably more evil Germany and a more

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Speaker 1: heartrending Second World War. We compromised with the trusts of

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Speaker 1: the early nineteen hundreds. Today we have corporations too big

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Speaker 1: to fail. We compromised with the Palm Morades and got McCarthyism,

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Speaker 1: And we compromised with McCarthyism and got Watergate. We compromised

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Speaker 1: with Watergate, and junior members of the Ford administration realized

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Speaker 1: how little was ultimately at risk. They grew up to

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Speaker 1: be Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. But

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Speaker 1: mister President elect, you are entirely correct as you say

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Speaker 1: what we have to focus on is getting things right

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Speaker 1: in the future, as opposed to looking at what we

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Speaker 1: got wrong in the past. But that means prosecuting all

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Speaker 1: those involved in the Bush administration's torture of prisoners, and

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Speaker 1: starting at the top. You are also right that you

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Speaker 1: should not want your first term consumed by what was

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Speaker 1: perceived on the part of Republicans as a partisan witch hunt.

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Speaker 1: What your only other option might be let this set

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Speaker 1: and fester indefinitely, Because mister President elects Someday there will

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Speaker 1: be another Republican president, or even a Democrat, just as

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Speaker 1: blind as mister Bush to ethics and this country's moral force.

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Speaker 1: He will look back to what you did about mister Bush,

427
00:28:58,035 --> 00:29:02,635
Speaker 1: or what you did not do, and he will see precedent.

428
00:29:03,955 --> 00:29:07,235
Speaker 1: Or as Cheney saw, he will see how not to

429
00:29:07,275 --> 00:29:13,355
Speaker 1: get caught next time. Prosecute, mister President elect. Even if

430
00:29:13,355 --> 00:29:16,395
Speaker 1: you get not one conviction, you will still have accomplished

431
00:29:16,635 --> 00:29:21,115
Speaker 1: good for generations unborn. Merely by acting, you will deny

432
00:29:21,195 --> 00:29:25,395
Speaker 1: mister Bush what he most wants right now, without prosecutions,

433
00:29:25,435 --> 00:29:28,635
Speaker 1: without this nation standing up and saying this was wrong.

434
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:34,275
Speaker 1: We must atone. Mister Bush's version of what happened goes

435
00:29:34,275 --> 00:29:38,035
Speaker 1: into the historical record of this nation. Torture was legal,

436
00:29:38,915 --> 00:29:46,795
Speaker 1: It worked, It saved the country. The end, we have

437
00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:52,075
Speaker 1: tortured people, you and I, mister President elect, the nation. Thus,

438
00:29:52,115 --> 00:29:54,675
Speaker 1: beginning tomorrow, it is up to you not just to

439
00:29:54,755 --> 00:29:59,475
Speaker 1: discontinue this, but to prevent it. At the end of

440
00:29:59,515 --> 00:30:02,955
Speaker 1: his first year in office, mister Lincoln tried to contextualize

441
00:30:02,995 --> 00:30:06,115
Speaker 1: the Civil War for those who still wanted to compromise

442
00:30:06,155 --> 00:30:10,595
Speaker 1: with the evils of secession and slavery. Quote the struggle

443
00:30:10,715 --> 00:30:15,475
Speaker 1: of today, Lincoln wrote, is not altogether for today, It

444
00:30:15,555 --> 00:30:24,195
Speaker 1: is for a vast future. Also, mister President elect, you

445
00:30:24,195 --> 00:30:27,995
Speaker 1: have been handed the beginning of that future. Use it

446
00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:35,435
Speaker 1: to protect our children and our distant descendants from anything

447
00:30:35,595 --> 00:30:45,435
Speaker 1: like this ever happening again. There were, of course, no

448
00:30:45,555 --> 00:30:49,835
Speaker 1: prosecutions and a future Republican president, and more importantly, those

449
00:30:49,835 --> 00:30:54,235
Speaker 1: who would enable his terrorism were taught that Democrats would

450
00:30:54,315 --> 00:31:05,315
Speaker 1: not risk political fracture by prosecuting presidential criminality, secuting it

451
00:31:05,395 --> 00:31:08,955
Speaker 1: quickly enough, and by the time that decision was reversed

452
00:31:08,955 --> 00:31:15,195
Speaker 1: it was too late. Republicans learned that there were laws

453
00:31:15,955 --> 00:31:21,955
Speaker 1: that did not apply to presidents. Did Barack Obama cause

454
00:31:22,035 --> 00:31:25,555
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, of course not. Did he miss a chance

455
00:31:26,395 --> 00:31:29,635
Speaker 1: to destroy a Trump criminal presidency while it was still

456
00:31:29,675 --> 00:31:33,515
Speaker 1: in the nest, or at least reduce its chances of

457
00:31:33,555 --> 00:31:37,995
Speaker 1: survival and of subsuming our world and creating this nightmare

458
00:31:38,035 --> 00:31:45,355
Speaker 1: we have on going right now in Iran? Sadly, entirely yes,

459
00:31:48,715 --> 00:31:50,715
Speaker 1: Is it up to Barack Obama to do what he

460
00:31:50,755 --> 00:31:52,635
Speaker 1: can now do to correct his mistake?

461
00:31:55,275 --> 00:31:55,795
Speaker 2: I think so?

462
00:31:58,755 --> 00:32:02,555
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Well, he does get to decide

463
00:32:02,555 --> 00:32:05,195
Speaker 1: what that means. But I would offer that one means

464
00:32:05,195 --> 00:32:07,795
Speaker 1: of correcting his mistake of two thousand and nine, of

465
00:32:08,035 --> 00:32:12,915
Speaker 1: essentially letting Trump get away with it in advance, would

466
00:32:12,955 --> 00:32:19,115
Speaker 1: be to end his mostly retirement and his distance, as

467
00:32:19,115 --> 00:32:22,075
Speaker 1: if this deranged, criminal thug Trump didn't just fire the

468
00:32:22,115 --> 00:32:24,835
Speaker 1: Attorney General the other day, largely truly deep down, for

469
00:32:24,875 --> 00:32:27,515
Speaker 1: one reason only that she had failed to put Barack

470
00:32:27,555 --> 00:32:32,875
Speaker 1: Obama in jail. If I may phrase it this way,

471
00:32:32,915 --> 00:32:36,195
Speaker 1: President Obama, Trump is not trying to destroy only America.

472
00:32:36,715 --> 00:32:42,515
Speaker 1: He's also still trying to destroy you. Defend yourself and

473
00:32:42,635 --> 00:32:50,315
Speaker 1: defend us as silly as Don Lemon presidential candidacy or

474
00:32:50,355 --> 00:32:53,995
Speaker 1: a Stephen A. Smith presidential candidacy might seem. The Democracy

475
00:32:54,035 --> 00:32:57,635
Speaker 1: and the Democrats are without leadership right now, and an

476
00:32:57,755 --> 00:33:07,875
Speaker 1: array of mediocrites recognizes this gap. Two, President Obama can

477
00:33:07,995 --> 00:33:11,715
Speaker 1: lead the attempt to restore democracy in this country right now.

478
00:33:11,955 --> 00:33:15,475
Speaker 1: You could go big and run for a Senate seat again.

479
00:33:15,835 --> 00:33:19,155
Speaker 1: You could go partisan and volunteer to lead the Democratic

480
00:33:19,235 --> 00:33:23,475
Speaker 1: National Committee, and you'd have the job within three hours.

481
00:33:23,995 --> 00:33:28,115
Speaker 1: You could go freelance and hold a rally every month

482
00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:33,315
Speaker 1: in a different American city just to encourage the rest

483
00:33:33,355 --> 00:33:36,915
Speaker 1: of us, just to make us feel like, we are

484
00:33:36,955 --> 00:33:45,195
Speaker 1: not out here on our fucking own. But President Obama, sir,

485
00:33:45,475 --> 00:33:48,235
Speaker 1: whatever it is you see in here that appeals to you,

486
00:33:49,555 --> 00:33:56,795
Speaker 1: do something now, because bluntly, sir, you didn't do something then.

487
00:34:08,035 --> 00:34:13,035
Speaker 1: So now Don Lemon thinks he could be president. Nice guy,

488
00:34:13,275 --> 00:34:18,435
Speaker 1: very brave, good heart, not qualified on a podcast. Quote

489
00:34:18,475 --> 00:34:21,395
Speaker 1: Do I ever think about it? Yes? Could it happen? Yeah,

490
00:34:21,395 --> 00:34:25,075
Speaker 1: it could happen running for office? Quote I think I

491
00:34:25,115 --> 00:34:27,195
Speaker 1: could be president of the United States. I could definitely

492
00:34:27,275 --> 00:34:31,475
Speaker 1: run this country better than Donald Trump. Well, look, that's

493
00:34:31,515 --> 00:34:35,195
Speaker 1: the threshold. You can run it better than Trump. There

494
00:34:35,195 --> 00:34:37,595
Speaker 1: are at least one hundred and ninety one million Americans

495
00:34:37,635 --> 00:34:40,355
Speaker 1: aged thirty five or over and thus eligible for the

496
00:34:40,395 --> 00:34:45,435
Speaker 1: White House, and what twelve or thirteen of them couldn't

497
00:34:45,515 --> 00:34:49,235
Speaker 1: run this country better than Donald Trump. The idea that

498
00:34:49,315 --> 00:34:52,275
Speaker 1: anybody can become president, though, does not start with Trump.

499
00:34:52,355 --> 00:34:55,515
Speaker 1: And I know, boy, I'm piling on here, but the

500
00:34:55,595 --> 00:34:59,155
Speaker 1: fault to some degree is well, I'll just let Don

501
00:34:59,235 --> 00:35:02,555
Speaker 1: Lemon's quote continue quote, why can't I think about being

502
00:35:02,595 --> 00:35:05,115
Speaker 1: President of the United States? Did anybody think think Barack

503
00:35:05,195 --> 00:35:11,275
Speaker 1: Obama would become president? Actually many people did, Don. I've

504
00:35:11,275 --> 00:35:14,555
Speaker 1: told this story before the same high school history teacher

505
00:35:14,555 --> 00:35:17,195
Speaker 1: who told me the day I graduated nineteen seventy five

506
00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:19,835
Speaker 1: that the sports thing would work out, but that I'd

507
00:35:19,835 --> 00:35:23,355
Speaker 1: eventually wind up in politics or covering it. The same

508
00:35:23,435 --> 00:35:27,955
Speaker 1: high school history teacher who taught Will Bunch. He invited

509
00:35:28,595 --> 00:35:33,555
Speaker 1: Obama of Harvard Law to speak at our school in

510
00:35:33,675 --> 00:35:39,275
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety one. The late Walter Schneller asked him if

511
00:35:39,275 --> 00:35:44,995
Speaker 1: he was considering seeking office, told Obama and others that

512
00:35:45,075 --> 00:35:54,195
Speaker 1: Obama had the qualifications for the highest office nineteen ninety one.

513
00:35:54,475 --> 00:35:58,675
Speaker 1: So yeah, Don, people did think it was possible. Also

514
00:35:58,755 --> 00:36:02,315
Speaker 1: why he got the Senate nomination and why he got

515
00:36:02,315 --> 00:36:07,715
Speaker 1: the presidential nomination in the speaking engagement at the prior convention.

516
00:36:07,955 --> 00:36:10,835
Speaker 1: Plus when a jetliner disappeared twelve years ago. Last month,

517
00:36:10,915 --> 00:36:13,395
Speaker 1: Don Obama didn't go on his show and CNN and

518
00:36:13,475 --> 00:36:15,915
Speaker 1: ask a guest if it maybe a black hole had

519
00:36:15,955 --> 00:36:20,795
Speaker 1: materialized in Earth's atmosphere and destroyed the jetliner. A tiny, little,

520
00:36:20,795 --> 00:36:25,595
Speaker 1: remarkably specific black hole or an average sized black hole,

521
00:36:25,595 --> 00:36:28,995
Speaker 1: which would be about ten times the mass of the Sun,

522
00:36:30,075 --> 00:36:32,595
Speaker 1: and it was in Earth's atmosphere, but it just wasn't

523
00:36:32,675 --> 00:36:38,795
Speaker 1: very hungry, Don. Some things are just disqualifying by themselves,

524
00:36:40,195 --> 00:36:43,315
Speaker 1: like being off on the radius of an operative black

525
00:36:43,315 --> 00:36:48,115
Speaker 1: hole by you know, about ten thousand percent. Unless you're

526
00:36:48,155 --> 00:36:51,635
Speaker 1: running as a Republican, then it might be a positive boon.

527
00:36:54,395 --> 00:36:57,075
Speaker 1: The problem is less that Trump has erased the too

528
00:36:57,195 --> 00:36:59,995
Speaker 1: dumb to be president thresholder the too evil to be

529
00:37:00,035 --> 00:37:03,675
Speaker 1: president threshold. It's that people now say I could be president,

530
00:37:04,475 --> 00:37:08,795
Speaker 1: and nobody says no, sorry, never, don't humiliate yourself, don't

531
00:37:08,795 --> 00:37:14,835
Speaker 1: waste our time, don't do it. They don't say that

532
00:37:15,195 --> 00:37:19,235
Speaker 1: to Stephen A. Smith. Egg don to seek the Democratic nomination,

533
00:37:19,435 --> 00:37:21,515
Speaker 1: and Steven is not bright enough to have noticed that

534
00:37:21,635 --> 00:37:27,475
Speaker 1: only conservatives are egging him on Sean Hannity. Is not

535
00:37:27,515 --> 00:37:30,515
Speaker 1: who you go to when you try to assess whether

536
00:37:30,555 --> 00:37:33,475
Speaker 1: or not the Democrats want you to be their presidential Lemonee.

537
00:37:34,755 --> 00:37:37,195
Speaker 1: Smith did it again this week. He insisted he would

538
00:37:37,195 --> 00:37:39,875
Speaker 1: defeat Gavin Newsom and Kamala Harris in a debate, even

539
00:37:39,875 --> 00:37:43,315
Speaker 1: though he says he knows nothing about the issues, and

540
00:37:43,355 --> 00:37:45,115
Speaker 1: then he would be defeating them and everybody else for

541
00:37:45,195 --> 00:37:48,435
Speaker 1: the Democratic nomination, and him then he'd win the election,

542
00:37:48,995 --> 00:37:51,635
Speaker 1: all because nobody has said to him, Stephen, you are

543
00:37:51,675 --> 00:37:57,235
Speaker 1: totally effing unqualified. You may be the most unqualified person

544
00:37:57,315 --> 00:38:00,635
Speaker 1: in America. Those twelve or thirteen people I mentioned who

545
00:38:00,715 --> 00:38:02,795
Speaker 1: might not be as good at this as Trump is,

546
00:38:02,995 --> 00:38:05,755
Speaker 1: you're probably one of them also, So you could not

547
00:38:05,995 --> 00:38:09,315
Speaker 1: run without having to quit ESPN and give all the

548
00:38:09,435 --> 00:38:14,315
Speaker 1: money back. Although listen to this now, it appears that

549
00:38:14,555 --> 00:38:18,875
Speaker 1: little detail that has finally registered with him.

550
00:38:18,715 --> 00:38:20,515
Speaker 3: To be on that debate stage and to still be

551
00:38:20,555 --> 00:38:21,955
Speaker 3: able to go back to work cleanse.

552
00:38:22,475 --> 00:38:25,275
Speaker 2: I'll be there. I'll be there. I'm telling you right now.

553
00:38:25,315 --> 00:38:26,195
Speaker 2: I'll tell you right now.

554
00:38:26,275 --> 00:38:29,755
Speaker 1: I will show up on that stage not knowing anything

555
00:38:30,275 --> 00:38:32,595
Speaker 1: compared to what Gavin Newsom might know.

556
00:38:33,515 --> 00:38:36,755
Speaker 2: I don't care. I'll be ready. I'll be ready for

557
00:38:36,795 --> 00:38:37,515
Speaker 2: that debate now.

558
00:38:37,755 --> 00:38:41,515
Speaker 3: And I don't believe that I respect gave all right,

559
00:38:41,915 --> 00:38:42,715
Speaker 3: he wouldn't beat me.

560
00:38:43,275 --> 00:38:45,315
Speaker 2: I don't believe in one second. Do I believe I

561
00:38:45,315 --> 00:38:48,675
Speaker 2: would take Gavin Newsom out? Yes I do, Yes, I do.

562
00:38:48,755 --> 00:38:51,435
Speaker 1: I believe I believe I would go against Kamala and

563
00:38:51,475 --> 00:38:51,915
Speaker 1: beat her.

564
00:38:52,075 --> 00:38:53,355
Speaker 2: Yes I do.

565
00:38:53,155 --> 00:38:57,155
Speaker 3: I think I'd beat most of the Democratic Party because

566
00:38:57,155 --> 00:38:59,195
Speaker 3: there's too much dancing, and I don't.

567
00:38:59,075 --> 00:39:09,835
Speaker 1: Dance, Steven, all you do is dance. I don't begrudge

568
00:39:09,875 --> 00:39:13,475
Speaker 1: any man the opportunity to make tens of millions of

569
00:39:13,515 --> 00:39:16,875
Speaker 1: dollars a year just bullshitting and filling time.

570
00:39:17,835 --> 00:39:21,475
Speaker 3: It's a skill. It's a rare skill. I don't have

571
00:39:21,555 --> 00:39:27,395
Speaker 3: that skill. He does. More power to him, but stop

572
00:39:27,435 --> 00:39:32,795
Speaker 3: mistaking your bullshitting for wisdom. And as to the debates,

573
00:39:33,315 --> 00:39:36,515
Speaker 3: this is a man who had to get Max Kellerman,

574
00:39:37,035 --> 00:39:40,115
Speaker 3: a fairly good boxing analyst and a decent sports debater.

575
00:39:40,315 --> 00:39:43,435
Speaker 3: He had to get Max Kellerman fired from the ESPN

576
00:39:43,555 --> 00:39:48,155
Speaker 3: show that he and Stevens A. Smith did because Max

577
00:39:48,235 --> 00:39:50,955
Speaker 3: Kellerman was too tough a debate opponent for steven A.

578
00:39:51,075 --> 00:39:55,835
Speaker 3: Smith and to get Kellerman replaced on this show by

579
00:39:55,835 --> 00:40:00,395
Speaker 3: the farcical and unintelligible Christopher Russo, whose main argument in

580
00:40:00,435 --> 00:40:03,475
Speaker 3: their sports debate, no matter what the subject is, is

581
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:16,355
Speaker 3: and I quote once again, thanks Obama. So now here

582
00:40:16,395 --> 00:40:22,755
Speaker 3: we are a democratic field of who Gavin Newsom, who

583
00:40:22,755 --> 00:40:27,115
Speaker 3: will say anything at any point and is very useful

584
00:40:27,195 --> 00:40:32,835
Speaker 3: during this fight in opposition, but who will say anything

585
00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:38,875
Speaker 3: at any point? Rom Emmanuel who might actually get a

586
00:40:38,995 --> 00:40:44,915
Speaker 3: vote total that was a negative number. Senator Cory book

587
00:40:44,995 --> 00:40:52,715
Speaker 3: tour Don a black hole eight my speech, Lemon and

588
00:40:52,795 --> 00:40:58,435
Speaker 3: Steven ashit thus I see no alternative. I have no

589
00:40:58,555 --> 00:41:00,875
Speaker 3: other choice. I do not want to do this. I

590
00:41:00,915 --> 00:41:03,515
Speaker 3: want nothing to do with this at all. I am

591
00:41:03,555 --> 00:41:07,435
Speaker 3: now forced to announce that I too, am considering running

592
00:41:07,515 --> 00:41:15,355
Speaker 3: for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. Okay,

593
00:41:15,395 --> 00:41:17,555
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do it. I just considered it,

594
00:41:17,595 --> 00:41:20,795
Speaker 3: and it's a terrible idea because, like Don Lemon and

595
00:41:20,795 --> 00:41:25,235
Speaker 3: Stephen A. Smith and Rob Emmanuel and Guyvin Newsom, I

596
00:41:25,275 --> 00:41:31,155
Speaker 3: am not qualified to be president. The only difference here

597
00:41:31,275 --> 00:41:33,395
Speaker 3: being I.

598
00:41:33,275 --> 00:41:33,635
Speaker 4: Know it.

599
00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:41,955
Speaker 1: Now. It was a nice candidacy lasted. Also of interest

600
00:41:41,995 --> 00:41:46,475
Speaker 1: here quote A golden shower of blessing is coming down

601
00:41:46,755 --> 00:41:55,075
Speaker 1: on our president. A golden shower of blessing. You've seen it.

602
00:41:55,075 --> 00:42:01,875
Speaker 1: It's a looks like a some sort of screen capture

603
00:42:02,035 --> 00:42:06,035
Speaker 1: of an article. The first sign in that there might

604
00:42:06,155 --> 00:42:11,235
Speaker 1: be a beneficent God. A golden shower of blessing is

605
00:42:11,275 --> 00:42:13,955
Speaker 1: coming down on our president. There's just one problem with it.

606
00:42:14,715 --> 00:42:18,195
Speaker 1: What is that problem? That's next? This is an all

607
00:42:18,275 --> 00:42:19,875
Speaker 1: new edition of Countdown.

608
00:42:21,515 --> 00:42:23,995
Speaker 5: Among his other credits, Moe used to host a TV

609
00:42:24,115 --> 00:42:29,235
Speaker 5: show called Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've

610
00:42:29,235 --> 00:42:34,035
Speaker 5: seen that program only I believe it's now called Countdown

611
00:42:34,115 --> 00:42:34,955
Speaker 5: with Keith Overman.

612
00:42:57,835 --> 00:43:04,595
Speaker 1: It's no funny beyond the grave, bick chainey, everybody still

613
00:43:04,675 --> 00:43:06,795
Speaker 1: I head on this all new edition of Countdown, So

614
00:43:06,875 --> 00:43:10,035
Speaker 1: out there in the still functioning parts of the real world.

615
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:16,075
Speaker 1: A lot on threads. This weekend was about the demise

616
00:43:16,235 --> 00:43:22,475
Speaker 1: of the fast food chain Boston Market. Yeah, my bad, sorry,

617
00:43:23,395 --> 00:43:25,795
Speaker 1: The saga of how I made five of the best

618
00:43:25,875 --> 00:43:29,315
Speaker 1: TV commercials ever written. I don't know about the acting,

619
00:43:29,795 --> 00:43:33,435
Speaker 1: how they wound up costing Boston Market nine hundred million

620
00:43:33,475 --> 00:43:37,115
Speaker 1: dollars in one year because they worked too well, and

621
00:43:37,155 --> 00:43:41,035
Speaker 1: how I fell off a cliff and nearly killed myself

622
00:43:41,075 --> 00:43:46,475
Speaker 1: while filming them, although I got the money in another

623
00:43:46,675 --> 00:43:50,875
Speaker 1: thing I promised not to tell. Coming up in the interim,

624
00:43:51,355 --> 00:43:53,915
Speaker 1: we always have more new idiots to talk about. The

625
00:43:53,995 --> 00:43:57,155
Speaker 1: roundup of the miscreants, morons and dunning Krueger effects specimens

626
00:43:57,275 --> 00:44:03,995
Speaker 1: who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. And

627
00:44:04,075 --> 00:44:06,915
Speaker 1: this episode is brought to you by Worst Person's Hall

628
00:44:06,955 --> 00:44:11,275
Speaker 1: of Famer Jeff Schell. Jeff Shell, my former boss at

629
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:14,955
Speaker 1: Fox Sports, who spent two years lying to me, into

630
00:44:14,995 --> 00:44:18,395
Speaker 1: his news division people at NBC and to everybody at

631
00:44:18,515 --> 00:44:23,155
Speaker 1: MSNBC and to the media about his true intentions, whatever

632
00:44:23,195 --> 00:44:26,555
Speaker 1: the hell they actually were during our negotiations for me

633
00:44:26,635 --> 00:44:30,555
Speaker 1: to go back to MSNBC, and who then flexed by

634
00:44:30,595 --> 00:44:33,915
Speaker 1: leaking to a friendly media whore that I should have

635
00:44:34,155 --> 00:44:39,195
Speaker 1: known he was lying. Oliver Darcys Status reports that it

636
00:44:39,235 --> 00:44:41,955
Speaker 1: is the third anniversary of Jeff Shell getting fired by

637
00:44:42,115 --> 00:44:46,915
Speaker 1: NBC for what else, lying about his relationship with a

638
00:44:46,955 --> 00:44:50,715
Speaker 1: woman correspondent there, and Jeff Shell is likely to commemorate

639
00:44:50,755 --> 00:44:55,635
Speaker 1: that milestone by getting fired this week as president of

640
00:44:55,715 --> 00:45:00,155
Speaker 1: Paramount CBS because he got sued for allegedly the leaking

641
00:45:00,195 --> 00:45:04,675
Speaker 1: confidential company information. So you didn't get fired at Fox,

642
00:45:04,835 --> 00:45:07,195
Speaker 1: you got fired at NBC's going to get fired at CBS.

643
00:45:08,435 --> 00:45:13,075
Speaker 1: Disney's calling you, Jeff. Sometimes, with these TV execs, I

644
00:45:13,155 --> 00:45:16,795
Speaker 1: really have wondered, is it them or is it me?

645
00:45:17,635 --> 00:45:23,195
Speaker 1: With Jeff Shell, I'm not wondering. No medalists the bronze

646
00:45:23,355 --> 00:45:29,195
Speaker 1: Congressman Andy Ogles since Paul Gozar more or less disappeared

647
00:45:29,235 --> 00:45:32,755
Speaker 1: a month ago. Gozar's last public statement was in praise

648
00:45:32,795 --> 00:45:40,115
Speaker 1: of Homeland Security Secretary Christy Nome, Remember Christy Nome. Since

649
00:45:40,235 --> 00:45:44,555
Speaker 1: Gozar vanished, Ogles might be have become the least stable

650
00:45:44,675 --> 00:45:48,115
Speaker 1: member of the House of Representatives. He has now twice

651
00:45:48,235 --> 00:45:51,595
Speaker 1: burnished his reputation. In the last week, he's introduced what

652
00:45:51,635 --> 00:45:55,275
Speaker 1: he calls the Assimilation Act, which will basically get rid

653
00:45:55,275 --> 00:45:59,635
Speaker 1: of immigration and then quote, America will look like America again.

654
00:46:00,995 --> 00:46:04,795
Speaker 1: I don't know, risky, Andy Ogles, risky, dude, risky.

655
00:46:04,675 --> 00:46:05,035
Speaker 4: I don't know.

656
00:46:05,355 --> 00:46:07,515
Speaker 1: Beauty is in the eye end of beholder and all that.

657
00:46:07,635 --> 00:46:11,115
Speaker 1: But to me, Eddie Ogels, you look kind of Iranian.

658
00:46:11,195 --> 00:46:15,275
Speaker 1: To me, I'm just saying, could be from Iran. I

659
00:46:15,275 --> 00:46:18,675
Speaker 1: don't know if that is your real name. These things

660
00:46:18,675 --> 00:46:21,355
Speaker 1: are tough to be certain about. But if you're trying

661
00:46:21,395 --> 00:46:25,195
Speaker 1: to make America look like America again, you may wake

662
00:46:25,315 --> 00:46:33,315
Speaker 1: up tomorrow and Tehran bub Meanwhile, Congressman Ogles had another

663
00:46:33,355 --> 00:46:37,475
Speaker 1: brilliant move, quote, I have introduced legislation to lower the

664
00:46:37,635 --> 00:46:42,355
Speaker 1: US flag to half staff on Good Friday and Holy Saturday,

665
00:46:42,795 --> 00:46:47,755
Speaker 1: Holy Saturday. Actually, I think you may have noticed that

666
00:46:47,955 --> 00:46:50,955
Speaker 1: this did not happen. This would serve, he wrote, as

667
00:46:50,995 --> 00:46:54,235
Speaker 1: a solemn reminder of Christ, who was crucified for our

668
00:46:54,355 --> 00:46:56,315
Speaker 1: transgressions against the Holy God.

669
00:46:56,915 --> 00:46:57,355
Speaker 2: Christ.

670
00:46:57,755 --> 00:47:03,755
Speaker 1: He added, is king of America. A Andy. Maybe your

671
00:47:03,915 --> 00:47:09,955
Speaker 1: transgression also you may believe all that happened. I don't

672
00:47:09,995 --> 00:47:12,555
Speaker 1: have a problem with you believing all that happened, as

673
00:47:12,635 --> 00:47:16,075
Speaker 1: long as you don't try to do anything with this guess.

674
00:47:16,955 --> 00:47:20,835
Speaker 1: But you do realize that for all the faith in

675
00:47:20,915 --> 00:47:24,475
Speaker 1: the world, there's no evidence that any of that happened.

676
00:47:26,915 --> 00:47:29,315
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean it didn't happen. You can say to me, well,

677
00:47:29,315 --> 00:47:32,395
Speaker 1: there's no evidence it didn't happen. There's no evidence that

678
00:47:32,435 --> 00:47:35,075
Speaker 1: there was a Christ, or that he was crucified, or

679
00:47:35,155 --> 00:47:38,875
Speaker 1: that he was crucified for or that he rose or not.

680
00:47:40,115 --> 00:47:43,795
Speaker 1: It's a belief that's different than a fact. No, you

681
00:47:43,835 --> 00:47:46,835
Speaker 1: have the Bibles. Show me again, show me an autographed

682
00:47:46,875 --> 00:47:49,875
Speaker 1: by the author copy of the Bible, and I'm more interested.

683
00:47:49,875 --> 00:47:52,355
Speaker 1: And even then, how do I know it's not just,

684
00:47:52,475 --> 00:47:58,315
Speaker 1: you know, like a car manual. All right, enough of that. Moreover,

685
00:47:58,475 --> 00:48:01,195
Speaker 1: Christ is King of America. Christ is King of America.

686
00:48:01,395 --> 00:48:05,555
Speaker 1: You want to lower flags the half staff because Christ

687
00:48:05,595 --> 00:48:07,755
Speaker 1: is King of Amria. Isn't that going to overshadow Charlie

688
00:48:07,795 --> 00:48:12,755
Speaker 1: Kirk and Erica Kirk, who is still requesting privacy during

689
00:48:12,755 --> 00:48:17,795
Speaker 1: her perpetual hopscotching the Globe World Martyrdom Tour. Wasn't Charlie

690
00:48:17,835 --> 00:48:25,595
Speaker 1: Kirk King of America, the runners up Baseball's Texas Rangers

691
00:48:25,675 --> 00:48:30,195
Speaker 1: baseball team. Sometimes the mask comes off slowly, sometimes it comes.

692
00:48:29,955 --> 00:48:31,435
Speaker 2: Off all at once.

693
00:48:32,515 --> 00:48:36,075
Speaker 1: Six years ago, officials at love Field Airport in Dallas

694
00:48:36,115 --> 00:48:40,435
Speaker 1: finally removed a statue there of Jim Banks, who was

695
00:48:40,475 --> 00:48:44,515
Speaker 1: a symbol of the fight by the government in Texas

696
00:48:44,635 --> 00:48:49,075
Speaker 1: against school integration. He was the model for the statue

697
00:48:49,155 --> 00:48:52,835
Speaker 1: statues titled One Riot, One Ranger, motto of the original

698
00:48:52,875 --> 00:48:57,035
Speaker 1: Texas Rangers vigilante group from the nineteenth century. This year,

699
00:48:57,075 --> 00:49:01,075
Speaker 1: the baseball Texas Rangers have suddenly dug up this statue

700
00:49:01,475 --> 00:49:06,195
Speaker 1: and put it in the concourse of their stadium, their

701
00:49:06,315 --> 00:49:12,435
Speaker 1: taxpayer funded stadium. Now you might say, well, bad move,

702
00:49:12,595 --> 00:49:15,635
Speaker 1: but I mean, what's the big deal compared to everything else?

703
00:49:15,755 --> 00:49:18,755
Speaker 1: The Texas Rangers have not only put this racist statue

704
00:49:19,355 --> 00:49:24,395
Speaker 1: on display, but while Major League Baseball is emphasizing diversity,

705
00:49:25,155 --> 00:49:27,515
Speaker 1: and it spent the last months during the World Baseball

706
00:49:27,555 --> 00:49:29,995
Speaker 1: Classic telling us about how forty one percent of its

707
00:49:29,995 --> 00:49:33,395
Speaker 1: players come from diverse backgrounds and twenty eight percent of

708
00:49:33,475 --> 00:49:37,635
Speaker 1: Major leaguers come from other countries, the Texas Rangers fielded

709
00:49:37,715 --> 00:49:41,555
Speaker 1: an opening day starting lineup near the statue of the

710
00:49:41,675 --> 00:49:45,275
Speaker 1: Raw one Riot one Ranger guy. Their opening days starting

711
00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:52,395
Speaker 1: lineup consisted of ten American white guys, two of whom

712
00:49:52,395 --> 00:49:56,995
Speaker 1: were named Josh, and there was a Jock in there too.

713
00:49:57,395 --> 00:50:03,115
Speaker 1: His name is Jock. They have twenty six men on

714
00:50:03,155 --> 00:50:06,275
Speaker 1: the playing roster, five of whom were born in the

715
00:50:06,395 --> 00:50:09,355
Speaker 1: United States, while Baseball said, oh, twenty eight percent of

716
00:50:09,395 --> 00:50:13,675
Speaker 1: it come from other countries. But the ten starters are

717
00:50:13,875 --> 00:50:17,275
Speaker 1: diverse in their own way. One is from the northeast,

718
00:50:18,275 --> 00:50:22,715
Speaker 1: Oh well, Elmhurst, Illinois. Another one is from the liberal

719
00:50:22,755 --> 00:50:31,275
Speaker 1: Pacific Coast. I'm Cheyenne, Wyoming. The rest of them southwest South.

720
00:50:31,635 --> 00:50:32,355
Speaker 2: Yeah.

721
00:50:33,515 --> 00:50:36,075
Speaker 1: This story has yet to blow up, But circle two

722
00:50:36,075 --> 00:50:39,475
Speaker 1: weeks from tomorrow, when the Rangers will play their first

723
00:50:39,475 --> 00:50:42,755
Speaker 1: home game after the league wide Jackie Robinson Day celebration,

724
00:50:42,955 --> 00:50:45,635
Speaker 1: which is always on April fifteenth, the anniversary of Jackie

725
00:50:45,715 --> 00:50:48,995
Speaker 1: Robinson's debut and the breaking of the modern color line

726
00:50:49,035 --> 00:50:53,235
Speaker 1: in baseball. Will the Rangers wear Jackie Robinson's uniform number

727
00:50:53,235 --> 00:50:55,875
Speaker 1: forty two, like all the other players on all the

728
00:50:55,875 --> 00:50:59,955
Speaker 1: other teams do, either on the fifteenth, or on the

729
00:51:00,035 --> 00:51:03,675
Speaker 1: date that they play their first home game after the fifteenth,

730
00:51:03,955 --> 00:51:07,475
Speaker 1: or will the just skip it since it's so much later,

731
00:51:07,795 --> 00:51:11,075
Speaker 1: and will they instead wear the uniform of Jim Banks,

732
00:51:11,195 --> 00:51:17,755
Speaker 1: one Riot, one ranger guy. But the winners the worst,

733
00:51:18,555 --> 00:51:22,235
Speaker 1: all those who got your hopes up had spread the

734
00:51:22,275 --> 00:51:27,795
Speaker 1: supposed front page of something called the New Jerusalem Posts.

735
00:51:28,875 --> 00:51:32,675
Speaker 1: Now if you saw this, you'd agree with me. It

736
00:51:32,795 --> 00:51:36,395
Speaker 1: was really nicely done. It's a screenshot of some sort.

737
00:51:36,955 --> 00:51:40,955
Speaker 1: It's mostly in gold lettering, but it's not garish gold

738
00:51:41,075 --> 00:51:43,995
Speaker 1: like Trump. It's just kind of, yeah, this looks legit.

739
00:51:44,075 --> 00:51:47,195
Speaker 1: There's a gold cross, and then there's some white and

740
00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:52,035
Speaker 1: light blue lettering and backgrounds for support, and there's there's

741
00:51:52,515 --> 00:51:54,995
Speaker 1: categories up at the top, kind of a menu of

742
00:51:55,235 --> 00:52:00,635
Speaker 1: home faith, prophecy, patriotism, end times, and what's trending faithful Patriots,

743
00:52:00,875 --> 00:52:04,435
Speaker 1: the Rapture Report, Maga, miracles. I mean, it's legit. And

744
00:52:04,475 --> 00:52:08,315
Speaker 1: then there's a headline attributed to the staff writer and

745
00:52:08,315 --> 00:52:11,115
Speaker 1: it says posted two hours ago with a number of shares,

746
00:52:11,315 --> 00:52:13,155
Speaker 1: And then there's the picture of the guy and a

747
00:52:13,235 --> 00:52:18,675
Speaker 1: pulled out quote. Well, the headline is, pastor says, quote

748
00:52:19,275 --> 00:52:28,035
Speaker 1: golden April showers will anoint Donald Trump. I'll just repeat that.

749
00:52:29,035 --> 00:52:35,635
Speaker 1: Pastor says golden April showers will anoint Donald Trump, and no,

750
00:52:35,755 --> 00:52:38,115
Speaker 1: this is not on the cover of the Texas Rangers

751
00:52:38,435 --> 00:52:42,475
Speaker 1: opening day program and scorecard. Then there is this picture

752
00:52:42,595 --> 00:52:45,795
Speaker 1: of a guy kind of looks like the most interesting

753
00:52:45,875 --> 00:52:49,155
Speaker 1: man in the world from the beer commercials friend of mine.

754
00:52:49,195 --> 00:52:52,155
Speaker 1: I met him a couple of years ago. Great guy anyway.

755
00:52:52,155 --> 00:52:54,075
Speaker 1: He kind of looks like a younger version of him

756
00:52:54,115 --> 00:52:57,035
Speaker 1: with the white beard, and he's wearing a red shiny tie,

757
00:52:57,315 --> 00:52:58,955
Speaker 1: and he's got his hand up and he looks like

758
00:52:59,115 --> 00:53:04,275
Speaker 1: a like a megachurch pastor. And there's a golden sunset

759
00:53:04,315 --> 00:53:06,875
Speaker 1: and behind him with clouds, and then there's this pull

760
00:53:06,955 --> 00:53:10,355
Speaker 1: quote next to his face, and it reads a golden shower,

761
00:53:11,115 --> 00:53:15,515
Speaker 1: A blessing is coming down upon our our president. That's

762
00:53:15,515 --> 00:53:18,355
Speaker 1: the tell They put hour in there twice. It's the

763
00:53:18,395 --> 00:53:21,195
Speaker 1: only thing wrong with the thing. It's like, I think

764
00:53:21,235 --> 00:53:24,275
Speaker 1: that was in there deliberately anyway. Then there's the whole

765
00:53:24,355 --> 00:53:26,715
Speaker 1: article beneath it, such as it is, and that reads

766
00:53:26,755 --> 00:53:31,995
Speaker 1: evangelical pastor calib Boone or Caleb Boone has declared that

767
00:53:32,035 --> 00:53:36,395
Speaker 1: this April will bring quote golden April showers to America,

768
00:53:36,475 --> 00:53:40,035
Speaker 1: claiming a divine vision revealed that the reign of heavenly

769
00:53:40,155 --> 00:53:45,835
Speaker 1: gold will fall to anoint boldface President Donald Trump. Boone,

770
00:53:45,915 --> 00:53:49,755
Speaker 1: speaking to a small but growing online congregation, describe President

771
00:53:49,755 --> 00:53:54,875
Speaker 1: Donald Trump as the anointed vessel beneath this outpouring, adding

772
00:53:54,875 --> 00:53:57,955
Speaker 1: that the vision signals the beginning of a new golden

773
00:53:58,035 --> 00:54:01,835
Speaker 1: age for America. In a follow up sermon, Boone referred

774
00:54:01,835 --> 00:54:05,955
Speaker 1: to the prophecy more explicitly as quote a golden shower

775
00:54:06,075 --> 00:54:10,955
Speaker 1: of blessing descending upon the chosen Leader, urging followers to

776
00:54:11,115 --> 00:54:16,675
Speaker 1: quote remain open to how that outpouring may manifest. Some

777
00:54:16,835 --> 00:54:21,075
Speaker 1: followers online the Peace concludes, have begun referring to the

778
00:54:21,075 --> 00:54:27,355
Speaker 1: event as April's Golden Showers, a phrase Boone has not

779
00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:28,795
Speaker 1: directly discouraged.

780
00:54:30,795 --> 00:54:34,355
Speaker 2: Oh my gold.

781
00:54:36,155 --> 00:54:39,035
Speaker 1: The bad news, of course, as I've already implied a

782
00:54:39,035 --> 00:54:41,955
Speaker 1: couple of times in the Double Hour in there, as

783
00:54:41,995 --> 00:54:48,155
Speaker 1: a typho suggests, there is no new Jerusalem Post. And

784
00:54:48,195 --> 00:54:51,675
Speaker 1: you'll notice nobody in there ever gave the name of

785
00:54:51,795 --> 00:54:56,275
Speaker 1: the church just to online congregate, nor nor where he is.

786
00:54:57,875 --> 00:54:59,875
Speaker 1: I mean, it would have been a nice touch to

787
00:54:59,875 --> 00:55:05,755
Speaker 1: say it was emanating from Moscow, Idaho. Interestingly, there is

788
00:55:05,795 --> 00:55:09,675
Speaker 1: a preacher named Caleb Boone. Caleb Boone is quoted in

789
00:55:09,755 --> 00:55:13,355
Speaker 1: this Sadly, Caleb Boone is a fictional character from a

790
00:55:13,395 --> 00:55:21,155
Speaker 1: book called The Preacher's Son alas the perpetrators of the

791
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:26,235
Speaker 1: Trump Golden Showers April Fool's joke, all that glitters is

792
00:55:26,275 --> 00:55:31,315
Speaker 1: not gold, or in this case, all that glistens is

793
00:55:31,355 --> 00:56:09,075
Speaker 1: not gold, Today's other worst persons, and a golden shower

794
00:56:09,075 --> 00:56:18,355
Speaker 1: of blessing is coming down upon our president. Chee the

795
00:56:18,435 --> 00:56:21,075
Speaker 1: number one story on the countdown and things I promised

796
00:56:21,075 --> 00:56:24,875
Speaker 1: not to tell, and I am literally reading off of threads,

797
00:56:25,115 --> 00:56:29,635
Speaker 1: so you know where this story comes from. The first

798
00:56:29,795 --> 00:56:33,355
Speaker 1: of the messages here is this may be the too

799
00:56:33,355 --> 00:56:39,555
Speaker 1: many nights solo parenting talking from the shop files, but

800
00:56:39,795 --> 00:56:44,315
Speaker 1: hear me out rotisserie chicken drive through, followed by the

801
00:56:44,355 --> 00:56:48,235
Speaker 1: comment from Hey K McCoy, could you imagine five question

802
00:56:48,355 --> 00:56:51,995
Speaker 1: marks with sides like sweet potatoes, broccoli or brussels, an

803
00:56:51,995 --> 00:56:56,075
Speaker 1: assortment of family size salads or something, And finally from

804
00:56:56,115 --> 00:57:01,635
Speaker 1: Miss Tanye, anyone else remember Boston Market cy?

805
00:57:03,395 --> 00:57:03,675
Speaker 2: Why?

806
00:57:03,795 --> 00:57:09,355
Speaker 1: Yes, somebody out here remembers Boston Market cy.

807
00:57:10,035 --> 00:57:16,715
Speaker 2: Emptiness, scraps, emptiness? How can I fill this empty void

808
00:57:16,755 --> 00:57:20,075
Speaker 2: of emptiness? It's not tricky. Eat something.

809
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:22,875
Speaker 6: Call me crazy, but I recommend the four dour Turkey

810
00:57:22,875 --> 00:57:26,555
Speaker 6: melt belt combo, hot handcarved turkey topped with maple, sweet

811
00:57:26,555 --> 00:57:29,515
Speaker 6: bacon and four guy guey Jesus a sandwich side of drink,

812
00:57:29,715 --> 00:57:32,155
Speaker 6: just four bucks. So get your four dollar turkey melt

813
00:57:32,155 --> 00:57:34,715
Speaker 6: belt combo today, totally in Boston Market.

814
00:57:34,835 --> 00:57:39,035
Speaker 2: Trust me, eating is a good thing. Who's wearing cologne?

815
00:57:39,395 --> 00:57:43,155
Speaker 1: That was nineteen ninety seven. Technically speaking, we recorded it

816
00:57:43,195 --> 00:57:46,955
Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety six, just before Christmas, although some of

817
00:57:46,955 --> 00:57:50,195
Speaker 1: the audio is added just after Christmas. And what you're

818
00:57:50,235 --> 00:57:53,755
Speaker 1: talking about is the first major money I ever made

819
00:57:54,195 --> 00:57:58,115
Speaker 1: in my life. One day, the phone rings and it's

820
00:57:58,155 --> 00:58:00,235
Speaker 1: my agent and she wants me to go do a

821
00:58:00,315 --> 00:58:03,755
Speaker 1: Boston Market commercial. She says they have a deal where

822
00:58:03,795 --> 00:58:06,435
Speaker 1: they're trying to sell lunch instead of just those big

823
00:58:06,555 --> 00:58:10,315
Speaker 1: rotisserie chicken dinners at all these chains, mostly in the Northeast,

824
00:58:10,315 --> 00:58:12,435
Speaker 1: and they want to get sports fans to go in

825
00:58:12,515 --> 00:58:15,395
Speaker 1: and buy a lunch because nobody buys lunch, They only

826
00:58:15,395 --> 00:58:17,355
Speaker 1: buy dinner. And I'm going, I don't really want to

827
00:58:17,395 --> 00:58:21,475
Speaker 1: do a commercial for fast food of any kind and

828
00:58:21,595 --> 00:58:24,835
Speaker 1: not chick. It's not bad. The sides are pretty good,

829
00:58:24,915 --> 00:58:27,115
Speaker 1: but I don't I don't feel And she said it's

830
00:58:27,115 --> 00:58:30,915
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and I said, m

831
00:58:31,955 --> 00:58:36,715
Speaker 1: I could do that. The arrangements were pretty quick. I

832
00:58:36,755 --> 00:58:39,755
Speaker 1: think we agreed to this in a matter of days.

833
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:43,395
Speaker 1: They were to fly me from Connecticut in the middle

834
00:58:43,435 --> 00:58:46,435
Speaker 1: of perhaps the dreariest of the Connecticut winters. I spent

835
00:58:46,515 --> 00:58:50,035
Speaker 1: there in the middle of it, just around Christmas time,

836
00:58:50,555 --> 00:58:53,755
Speaker 1: to Sata, Monica, where I used to live and often

837
00:58:53,795 --> 00:58:56,835
Speaker 1: regretted not living anymore. And they'd put me up in

838
00:58:56,835 --> 00:58:59,395
Speaker 1: a nice hotel and I would be there perhaps for

839
00:58:59,475 --> 00:59:02,955
Speaker 1: three days, but certainly for two and record two very

840
00:59:03,035 --> 00:59:06,515
Speaker 1: creative commercials, one of which you just heard, the other

841
00:59:06,715 --> 00:59:08,995
Speaker 1: of which I will play for you in a little bit.

842
00:59:11,235 --> 00:59:15,275
Speaker 1: The whole thing seemed really worthwhile and very exciting, and

843
00:59:15,315 --> 00:59:18,075
Speaker 1: little did I know what was ahead of me. We

844
00:59:18,155 --> 00:59:20,915
Speaker 1: got out there and it was raining at about forty

845
00:59:20,955 --> 00:59:23,875
Speaker 1: eight degrees, so conditions worth three or four times better

846
00:59:23,915 --> 00:59:26,795
Speaker 1: than they had been in Southington and Bristol, Connecticut. The

847
00:59:27,075 --> 00:59:29,755
Speaker 1: ESPN people were all honked out of shape about this.

848
00:59:30,035 --> 00:59:33,035
Speaker 1: You can't do commercials, We can't let you do a commercial.

849
00:59:33,035 --> 00:59:36,035
Speaker 1: I said, they're buying the spots on ESPN. It doesn't matter.

850
00:59:36,075 --> 00:59:39,115
Speaker 1: And I said, you owe me two hundred and seventy

851
00:59:39,115 --> 00:59:42,435
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars for this the last year on my contract.

852
00:59:42,835 --> 00:59:45,595
Speaker 1: They are offering me two hundred and fifty thousand dollars

853
00:59:45,635 --> 00:59:49,435
Speaker 1: plus the airfare and the hotel. It's a push. And

854
00:59:49,515 --> 00:59:51,875
Speaker 1: the difference here is I have to come work to

855
00:59:51,915 --> 00:59:54,955
Speaker 1: this place that I don't want to really work at anymore,

856
00:59:54,995 --> 00:59:57,155
Speaker 1: and you don't really want me to be here anymore

857
00:59:58,035 --> 01:00:01,835
Speaker 1: for the next year, and I'm basically doing it for

858
01:00:02,075 --> 01:00:04,475
Speaker 1: two or three thousand dollars more than these people are

859
01:00:04,475 --> 01:00:07,475
Speaker 1: off bring me for two days. Which do you think,

860
01:00:07,595 --> 01:00:10,515
Speaker 1: if afforded the choice of quitting the ESPN job and

861
01:00:10,595 --> 01:00:13,755
Speaker 1: just doing the commercials or staying here and slaving away

862
01:00:13,795 --> 01:00:17,515
Speaker 1: for another year, which do you think I'm going to take?

863
01:00:18,275 --> 01:00:20,155
Speaker 1: There was a long pause and they went, all right,

864
01:00:20,195 --> 01:00:22,235
Speaker 1: but you have to sign an agreement saying that it's

865
01:00:22,435 --> 01:00:24,955
Speaker 1: just for you and not for everybody else. And I said, well, sure,

866
01:00:24,995 --> 01:00:27,515
Speaker 1: whatever you want, whatever you have to do here, I said,

867
01:00:27,555 --> 01:00:29,795
Speaker 1: on top of which, I have gotten them to cater

868
01:00:29,995 --> 01:00:32,875
Speaker 1: a lunch for everybody at Sports Center while I'm.

869
01:00:32,715 --> 01:00:35,275
Speaker 4: Away, Oh okay.

870
01:00:35,435 --> 01:00:38,155
Speaker 1: So in other words, I convinced management after years and

871
01:00:38,235 --> 01:00:41,115
Speaker 1: years of them beating me and all the other talented

872
01:00:41,315 --> 01:00:45,715
Speaker 1: ESPN up over outside things, which now they encourage, but

873
01:00:45,875 --> 01:00:48,235
Speaker 1: then they thought were the end of the world. If

874
01:00:48,235 --> 01:00:51,995
Speaker 1: you had another line of income, they no longer controlled you.

875
01:00:52,155 --> 01:00:55,715
Speaker 1: A vice president of ESPN actually told me that, word

876
01:00:55,795 --> 01:00:57,675
Speaker 1: for word, we can't let you do that. If you

877
01:00:57,715 --> 01:01:00,435
Speaker 1: have another source of income, then we don't control you anymore.

878
01:01:00,475 --> 01:01:02,315
Speaker 1: We can't make you do what we want you to do.

879
01:01:03,595 --> 01:01:07,475
Speaker 1: And all of that was come with the prospect that

880
01:01:07,515 --> 01:01:10,355
Speaker 1: all the managers would be invited to the free catered

881
01:01:10,395 --> 01:01:14,515
Speaker 1: Boston Market lunch. So I go to Los Angeles and

882
01:01:14,555 --> 01:01:16,675
Speaker 1: as I said, it was forty eight degrees in raining,

883
01:01:16,715 --> 01:01:19,595
Speaker 1: thus beautiful, and I did not have to wear a parka,

884
01:01:19,635 --> 01:01:23,635
Speaker 1: and I walked on the beach at Santa Monica outside

885
01:01:23,675 --> 01:01:25,835
Speaker 1: the hotel I was staying at. I believe it was

886
01:01:26,315 --> 01:01:30,355
Speaker 1: on the lows, right on the ocean, on on essentially

887
01:01:30,435 --> 01:01:34,115
Speaker 1: Pacific Coast Highway, and I just had a great I

888
01:01:34,195 --> 01:01:36,715
Speaker 1: walked there with my bare feet when I got there,

889
01:01:36,715 --> 01:01:38,195
Speaker 1: and then I went to bed early and we went

890
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:40,435
Speaker 1: and shot the next morning in Malibu, and when we

891
01:01:40,475 --> 01:01:43,875
Speaker 1: get there it's raining a little bit. But the director

892
01:01:45,235 --> 01:01:50,475
Speaker 1: who talked like pee wee Herman Atlanta this he says, look,

893
01:01:50,475 --> 01:01:52,195
Speaker 1: this is what we're going to do. It's going to

894
01:01:52,315 --> 01:01:56,835
Speaker 1: rain apparently heavily, starting about two o'clock. So instead of

895
01:01:56,875 --> 01:01:59,595
Speaker 1: going and shooting until noon like we ordinarily would, we're

896
01:01:59,635 --> 01:02:02,795
Speaker 1: asking everybody's permission. We're just going to shoot through two o'clock.

897
01:02:03,155 --> 01:02:05,435
Speaker 1: Offer everybody a lunch or the chants to go home

898
01:02:05,475 --> 01:02:07,675
Speaker 1: at two. So we're going to get this commercial done

899
01:02:07,875 --> 01:02:10,515
Speaker 1: and then we'll shoot the other one in the mansion tomorrow.

900
01:02:10,755 --> 01:02:12,795
Speaker 1: The one you heard already was the one that we're

901
01:02:12,835 --> 01:02:15,515
Speaker 1: talking about. It shot on the beach at Leo Carrio

902
01:02:15,595 --> 01:02:18,955
Speaker 1: Beach in Malibu, or just near Malibu. And the one

903
01:02:18,995 --> 01:02:22,195
Speaker 1: thing about this beach is it's full of rocky promontories.

904
01:02:22,595 --> 01:02:25,475
Speaker 1: They're not exactly cliffs, although there is a cliff, and

905
01:02:25,515 --> 01:02:28,315
Speaker 1: there is a staircase that I think is about one

906
01:02:28,395 --> 01:02:30,835
Speaker 1: hundred to one hundred and twenty stairs down to the

907
01:02:30,875 --> 01:02:33,515
Speaker 1: beach from the park right above the on the cliff

908
01:02:33,595 --> 01:02:39,515
Speaker 1: right above the beach near Pacific Coast Highway. And these rocks,

909
01:02:39,555 --> 01:02:41,555
Speaker 1: some of them are pretty high. You could almost call

910
01:02:41,595 --> 01:02:43,555
Speaker 1: them cliffs. Some of them are twenty feet up there.

911
01:02:43,555 --> 01:02:45,795
Speaker 1: In any way, they introduced me to the other two

912
01:02:45,955 --> 01:02:48,515
Speaker 1: actors in the scene, and it's very simple. They keep

913
01:02:48,555 --> 01:02:51,035
Speaker 1: talking about emptiness and I'm empty. It's a spoof of

914
01:02:51,035 --> 01:02:56,155
Speaker 1: a Calvin Klein commercial from those days about the brand Obsession,

915
01:02:56,955 --> 01:03:00,995
Speaker 1: which they were selling in what was then called heroin Chic,

916
01:03:00,995 --> 01:03:03,795
Speaker 1: which was a very unfortunate subject to bring up, but

917
01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:07,275
Speaker 1: that's what they called. It was overly skinny kids talking

918
01:03:07,275 --> 01:03:10,755
Speaker 1: about the emptiness within. And this very clever ad had me,

919
01:03:11,195 --> 01:03:13,235
Speaker 1: after the kids appeared in black and white, looking like

920
01:03:13,235 --> 01:03:15,955
Speaker 1: it was a Calvin Klein ad, had me appearing in

921
01:03:16,035 --> 01:03:19,995
Speaker 1: color saying eat something and then trying to sell everybody

922
01:03:19,995 --> 01:03:22,475
Speaker 1: the five dollar lunch or in some cases the four

923
01:03:22,555 --> 01:03:26,155
Speaker 1: dollar lunch. Okay, in any event, we shoot this, and

924
01:03:26,355 --> 01:03:29,275
Speaker 1: we shoot it in various different ways. I appear from

925
01:03:29,315 --> 01:03:32,875
Speaker 1: behind a rock. They're walking along and I'm suddenly there.

926
01:03:33,235 --> 01:03:36,235
Speaker 1: I materialize they're in black and white.

927
01:03:36,355 --> 01:03:37,115
Speaker 2: I'm in color.

928
01:03:37,355 --> 01:03:40,155
Speaker 1: And every time we walk, every time we walk on

929
01:03:40,235 --> 01:03:44,075
Speaker 1: this slightly damp beach with a mist turning into a

930
01:03:44,195 --> 01:03:48,075
Speaker 1: light rain turning into a steadier drizzle. Every time we

931
01:03:48,235 --> 01:03:51,995
Speaker 1: do this, two guys come out after we do the

932
01:03:52,035 --> 01:03:56,635
Speaker 1: take with rakes and they rake our footprints out of

933
01:03:56,715 --> 01:03:59,315
Speaker 1: the area of the beach that's being shot. So here

934
01:03:59,315 --> 01:04:01,475
Speaker 1: are the components you need to know about. We are

935
01:04:01,595 --> 01:04:04,915
Speaker 1: there on a beach, it's a little rainy. I am

936
01:04:04,955 --> 01:04:09,475
Speaker 1: dressed in a brand new suit and brand new street

937
01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:12,995
Speaker 1: clothes of all kinds, including what I think in retrospect

938
01:04:12,995 --> 01:04:17,875
Speaker 1: were floor shime shoes. They are shiny to begin with,

939
01:04:17,915 --> 01:04:21,315
Speaker 1: and I am now polishing them on this wet sand

940
01:04:21,435 --> 01:04:23,915
Speaker 1: that is being raked smooth. Each time we do this,

941
01:04:23,955 --> 01:04:25,955
Speaker 1: and I don't know how many takes it was. They

942
01:04:25,995 --> 01:04:28,195
Speaker 1: had me at two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. If

943
01:04:28,235 --> 01:04:30,035
Speaker 1: you want to do a million takes, you can do

944
01:04:30,115 --> 01:04:33,075
Speaker 1: it in two days. Let's go. It probably was twenty

945
01:04:33,155 --> 01:04:36,515
Speaker 1: or thirty takes in various permutations, and finally it's about

946
01:04:36,555 --> 01:04:38,955
Speaker 1: one thirty and he says, the director with pee wee.

947
01:04:39,035 --> 01:04:41,555
Speaker 1: Herman says, I think we got everything we need, but

948
01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:44,315
Speaker 1: I'd like to try one more thing. Can you climb rocks?

949
01:04:44,555 --> 01:04:48,235
Speaker 1: And I said, yes, actually I can, And so he says,

950
01:04:48,275 --> 01:04:50,435
Speaker 1: can you climb this rock? And I think in my

951
01:04:50,555 --> 01:04:53,955
Speaker 1: memory it could have been this rock this promontory, this

952
01:04:54,155 --> 01:04:59,435
Speaker 1: outcropping could have been realistically twelve or thirteen feet high.

953
01:04:59,515 --> 01:05:01,115
Speaker 1: I don't think it was much more than that. But

954
01:05:01,155 --> 01:05:02,835
Speaker 1: he asked me to climb up in and I can

955
01:05:02,875 --> 01:05:05,835
Speaker 1: see there are various places to put my their footholds,

956
01:05:05,955 --> 01:05:08,235
Speaker 1: and I climb up and I get up to almost

957
01:05:08,275 --> 01:05:10,715
Speaker 1: the top of the thing, and I'm secure and safe

958
01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:15,115
Speaker 1: in my brown, brand new shoes that shinier than when

959
01:05:15,155 --> 01:05:18,515
Speaker 1: they came off the factory line in wherever they were made.

960
01:05:18,875 --> 01:05:21,675
Speaker 1: And I'm standing there on top of this thing, holding

961
01:05:21,715 --> 01:05:23,355
Speaker 1: on to it, and I said, here I am, and

962
01:05:23,395 --> 01:05:26,355
Speaker 1: he plays with the camera and he shoots the girl,

963
01:05:26,395 --> 01:05:28,795
Speaker 1: whose name was Una, by the way, and had a

964
01:05:28,875 --> 01:05:32,355
Speaker 1: vocabulary of a long shoreman. Oh my god, I've never

965
01:05:32,395 --> 01:05:36,835
Speaker 1: to this day heard anybody swear as much male, female, young,

966
01:05:37,195 --> 01:05:40,595
Speaker 1: old or from another planet. Was it was like, lady,

967
01:05:40,795 --> 01:05:43,395
Speaker 1: don't talk like that. There are ladies here. So it's

968
01:05:43,475 --> 01:05:46,195
Speaker 1: Una and then this guy and me and like a

969
01:05:46,275 --> 01:05:49,555
Speaker 1: crew of fifty or sixty shooting this commercial. And it's

970
01:05:49,555 --> 01:05:52,875
Speaker 1: still it's still raining, just gently, and I'm standing up

971
01:05:52,915 --> 01:05:56,555
Speaker 1: on top of this rock. So all of a sudden

972
01:05:56,635 --> 01:05:58,715
Speaker 1: he goes with the camera and he says no, the

973
01:05:58,755 --> 01:06:00,835
Speaker 1: angle is way too high. Can you come down a

974
01:06:00,835 --> 01:06:03,555
Speaker 1: little bit? And I said, yeah, there's a foothole down there,

975
01:06:03,595 --> 01:06:06,715
Speaker 1: about five feet down. So again I'm on top of

976
01:06:06,915 --> 01:06:08,995
Speaker 1: let's say it's twelve feet. It could have been more

977
01:06:09,035 --> 01:06:10,675
Speaker 1: than that, it could have been closer to twenty. But

978
01:06:10,715 --> 01:06:13,755
Speaker 1: I'm going to say conservably it's twelve feet up and

979
01:06:13,955 --> 01:06:18,515
Speaker 1: I'm six feet four, so I'm eighteen roughly feet in

980
01:06:18,555 --> 01:06:21,035
Speaker 1: the air. My head is anyway, and I'm holding on

981
01:06:21,075 --> 01:06:22,635
Speaker 1: to the top of this thing, and I'm now going

982
01:06:22,715 --> 01:06:24,315
Speaker 1: to come down five feet. I said, I'm going to

983
01:06:24,355 --> 01:06:26,475
Speaker 1: come down to there. He goes, that should work perfectly,

984
01:06:26,515 --> 01:06:28,595
Speaker 1: and then we're wrapped, and then i'll see you tomorrow

985
01:06:28,595 --> 01:06:30,995
Speaker 1: at the mansion for the indoor commercial, the second commercial.

986
01:06:31,195 --> 01:06:32,915
Speaker 1: And I said, great, he said, and we have lunch.

987
01:06:32,955 --> 01:06:36,315
Speaker 1: I said, is it Boston Market? He went no, okay,

988
01:06:36,475 --> 01:06:38,835
Speaker 1: So now I begin to move down to this other

989
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:41,995
Speaker 1: location five feet down, so only about seven feet off

990
01:06:41,995 --> 01:06:45,075
Speaker 1: the ground. And I put my foot down and I'm secure,

991
01:06:45,115 --> 01:06:46,875
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, I'm good, but I'm going to

992
01:06:46,915 --> 01:06:48,395
Speaker 1: have to hold on to it because I don't have

993
01:06:48,515 --> 01:06:51,875
Speaker 1: full balance here. And he says okay, and as he

994
01:06:51,915 --> 01:06:54,755
Speaker 1: begins to set the camera up. I noticed something very

995
01:06:54,835 --> 01:06:58,715
Speaker 1: unhappy occurring. The brand new shoe, which has been polished

996
01:06:58,755 --> 01:07:01,555
Speaker 1: to oh, I don't know, like the Hope diamond or something.

997
01:07:01,795 --> 01:07:05,755
Speaker 1: It's been polished. It's shiny, it's not holding. I'm fine.

998
01:07:06,155 --> 01:07:09,995
Speaker 1: The shoe is giving way. Gravity works, and it's working

999
01:07:10,075 --> 01:07:14,755
Speaker 1: on my shoe. It is slowly, without any effort on

1000
01:07:14,795 --> 01:07:18,075
Speaker 1: my part or any loss of balance, my shoe on

1001
01:07:18,115 --> 01:07:21,035
Speaker 1: which I am balanced one foot in the air and

1002
01:07:21,075 --> 01:07:23,755
Speaker 1: one foot on this rock, or as I like to

1003
01:07:23,755 --> 01:07:27,795
Speaker 1: tell it, on top of the cliff, one foot there.

1004
01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:30,795
Speaker 1: And it is sliding off, and it's sliding off in

1005
01:07:30,835 --> 01:07:33,195
Speaker 1: my mind slowly enough that I have a little time

1006
01:07:33,235 --> 01:07:37,355
Speaker 1: to think. And what I'm thinking is, hey, jackass, you're

1007
01:07:37,395 --> 01:07:41,595
Speaker 1: about to fall off this cliff. Well, sure enough I did,

1008
01:07:41,635 --> 01:07:44,395
Speaker 1: and somehow, and I wasn't in the air very long.

1009
01:07:44,515 --> 01:07:47,515
Speaker 1: Obviously it wasn't that high up. But I was in

1010
01:07:47,595 --> 01:07:50,195
Speaker 1: the air long enough and had those few seconds before

1011
01:07:50,275 --> 01:07:53,195
Speaker 1: the shoe gave way. And you should have seen the

1012
01:07:53,435 --> 01:07:55,555
Speaker 1: gouge in it. It looks like somebody had hit it

1013
01:07:55,555 --> 01:07:59,915
Speaker 1: with a scimitar. The gouge in the so shoe. They

1014
01:07:59,995 --> 01:08:02,075
Speaker 1: let me keep the shoes and I kept the shoes

1015
01:08:03,755 --> 01:08:06,955
Speaker 1: while I'm to fall, And while I'm falling, I remembered

1016
01:08:06,995 --> 01:08:09,835
Speaker 1: the course of Judo I took in nineteen sixty five,

1017
01:08:10,155 --> 01:08:12,795
Speaker 1: which I hated every moment of. But it all came

1018
01:08:12,835 --> 01:08:15,635
Speaker 1: back to me weeks and weeks of judo. I hated Judo,

1019
01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:17,755
Speaker 1: and I hated my parents for sending me to Judo.

1020
01:08:18,035 --> 01:08:21,315
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, all of the things

1021
01:08:21,355 --> 01:08:23,715
Speaker 1: they taught me about how to fall came back to

1022
01:08:23,755 --> 01:08:26,915
Speaker 1: me all at once. Relax, put your hands over your head,

1023
01:08:27,155 --> 01:08:31,075
Speaker 1: spread out your fall so that everything hits simultaneously. Fud.

1024
01:08:31,435 --> 01:08:32,555
Speaker 1: I'm on the beach.

1025
01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:34,395
Speaker 4: Now.

1026
01:08:34,395 --> 01:08:36,395
Speaker 1: You might think a beach is made out of sand.

1027
01:08:36,435 --> 01:08:38,955
Speaker 1: But here's something I discovered that had not really occurred

1028
01:08:38,995 --> 01:08:41,675
Speaker 1: to me until that day in December of nineteen ninety six,

1029
01:08:41,795 --> 01:08:48,355
Speaker 1: which is that you don't really think about this too much,

1030
01:08:48,755 --> 01:08:51,675
Speaker 1: but a beach with a lot of rocks sticking out

1031
01:08:51,675 --> 01:08:54,635
Speaker 1: of it, it's all rock and there's just sand on

1032
01:08:54,715 --> 01:08:57,235
Speaker 1: top of the rocks. So when I land, I don't

1033
01:08:57,315 --> 01:08:59,955
Speaker 1: land on any other rocks, thank god. But I land

1034
01:08:59,995 --> 01:09:04,915
Speaker 1: on really hard sand packed on top of rocks, they

1035
01:09:04,995 --> 01:09:07,395
Speaker 1: tell me. And unfortunately the guy had not set up

1036
01:09:07,395 --> 01:09:09,155
Speaker 1: any of the cameras yet, so none of this was

1037
01:09:09,195 --> 01:09:12,195
Speaker 1: captured on film. I would pay thousands to see this.

1038
01:09:12,955 --> 01:09:14,955
Speaker 1: They tell me that it looked like I had been

1039
01:09:15,035 --> 01:09:18,475
Speaker 1: shot off of the top of the rock, or that

1040
01:09:18,555 --> 01:09:21,235
Speaker 1: I was already dead when I fell, because I did

1041
01:09:21,275 --> 01:09:24,675
Speaker 1: the fall correctly. I spread it out and covered my

1042
01:09:24,795 --> 01:09:27,755
Speaker 1: head and hit with a thud. The first person to

1043
01:09:27,795 --> 01:09:31,395
Speaker 1: see me was Una from Chicago. Hey, you want some

1044
01:09:31,675 --> 01:09:33,795
Speaker 1: iced tea? You want some tea? And I went, I

1045
01:09:33,875 --> 01:09:36,115
Speaker 1: don't think that's what they do when you fall off

1046
01:09:36,155 --> 01:09:41,395
Speaker 1: a rock. Anyway, it hurt, but I felt initially like

1047
01:09:41,555 --> 01:09:44,555
Speaker 1: I didn't hit my head. I know that, and that's good.

1048
01:09:44,675 --> 01:09:48,275
Speaker 1: And nothing else seems broken. And slowly they lift me

1049
01:09:48,395 --> 01:09:52,635
Speaker 1: up to a sitting position and everybody just says, oh

1050
01:09:52,675 --> 01:09:54,555
Speaker 1: my god, we thought you were dead. And I said,

1051
01:09:54,555 --> 01:09:57,635
Speaker 1: not quite, not yet, and but I said, to give

1052
01:09:57,675 --> 01:09:59,795
Speaker 1: this time. I'm not sure, I'm one hundred percent. Well,

1053
01:09:59,795 --> 01:10:01,155
Speaker 1: we're going to get you to the hospital. I went,

1054
01:10:01,195 --> 01:10:03,635
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a bad idea. So I sit

1055
01:10:03,755 --> 01:10:05,995
Speaker 1: up and then they get me up on my feet.

1056
01:10:06,075 --> 01:10:08,995
Speaker 1: So so far, it's no broken legs, no broken arms.

1057
01:10:08,995 --> 01:10:12,315
Speaker 1: I'm not screaming in pain. Maybe there are internal injuries.

1058
01:10:12,355 --> 01:10:15,115
Speaker 1: We better have a good look. Now they have to

1059
01:10:15,155 --> 01:10:17,835
Speaker 1: walk me and I do the classic movie scene where

1060
01:10:17,835 --> 01:10:20,635
Speaker 1: I've got an arm draped over the two biggest grips

1061
01:10:20,715 --> 01:10:24,835
Speaker 1: on the production crew and I am being essentially dragged

1062
01:10:24,875 --> 01:10:28,755
Speaker 1: over to the one hundred stairs up to Pacific Coast Highway.

1063
01:10:29,115 --> 01:10:31,235
Speaker 1: And we do this and I don't know how long

1064
01:10:31,275 --> 01:10:33,035
Speaker 1: it takes. And we get up there, and because it's

1065
01:10:33,075 --> 01:10:35,795
Speaker 1: a state park up there, the first person I have

1066
01:10:35,835 --> 01:10:39,035
Speaker 1: to report to is the ranger. Like I'm in a

1067
01:10:39,155 --> 01:10:44,715
Speaker 1: Yogi Bear commercial, Hey Boo boo, I fell off a cliff,

1068
01:10:45,635 --> 01:10:48,035
Speaker 1: and he has to check me out, and he has

1069
01:10:48,115 --> 01:10:51,995
Speaker 1: to call the fire department because it's a state park.

1070
01:10:52,675 --> 01:10:56,195
Speaker 1: This is the red nevermind graft and fraud supposedly in California.

1071
01:10:56,235 --> 01:10:59,555
Speaker 1: This is the real problem bureaucracy for people who fall

1072
01:10:59,595 --> 01:11:03,475
Speaker 1: off cliffs. That's where the money is going. So they

1073
01:11:04,355 --> 01:11:07,755
Speaker 1: they call the fire department to come check me out.

1074
01:11:07,955 --> 01:11:11,235
Speaker 1: Like I'm not on fire, I know that some parts

1075
01:11:11,235 --> 01:11:13,595
Speaker 1: of me feel like I might be on fire. I

1076
01:11:13,635 --> 01:11:17,875
Speaker 1: went into the bathroom in the ranger station and did

1077
01:11:17,915 --> 01:11:21,275
Speaker 1: my business there without any blood anywhere, and I'm like, okay,

1078
01:11:21,475 --> 01:11:23,715
Speaker 1: hurts on the side here and it was beginning to

1079
01:11:23,795 --> 01:11:25,635
Speaker 1: hurt on my left side, and I found I could

1080
01:11:25,635 --> 01:11:28,755
Speaker 1: relieve this by raising my left hand an arm up

1081
01:11:28,755 --> 01:11:31,235
Speaker 1: way above my head and suddenly didn't hurt quite as much.

1082
01:11:31,355 --> 01:11:33,755
Speaker 1: The problem was after that, once I tried to put

1083
01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:36,235
Speaker 1: that down, and obviously it was that side I had

1084
01:11:36,315 --> 01:11:39,035
Speaker 1: landed on. Once I tried to put that side down,

1085
01:11:39,635 --> 01:11:42,275
Speaker 1: it felt like, oh good, you were right to call

1086
01:11:42,315 --> 01:11:44,115
Speaker 1: the fire department. It felt like my arm was on

1087
01:11:44,195 --> 01:11:48,195
Speaker 1: fire and my torso and my left leg. The moment

1088
01:11:48,275 --> 01:11:50,835
Speaker 1: I put my hand down and stopped looking like I

1089
01:11:50,915 --> 01:11:53,035
Speaker 1: was calling for a New York City cab on the

1090
01:11:53,075 --> 01:11:57,995
Speaker 1: streets of Santa Monica, California, or Malibu, California. The moment

1091
01:11:58,035 --> 01:12:01,475
Speaker 1: that happened, shooting red, flaming pain from the tips of

1092
01:12:01,515 --> 01:12:04,515
Speaker 1: my toes to the tips of my fingers. So finally

1093
01:12:04,515 --> 01:12:06,555
Speaker 1: the ambulance shows up and they go, well, we're going

1094
01:12:06,635 --> 01:12:10,115
Speaker 1: to take you over to Saint John Saint Mary's in

1095
01:12:10,195 --> 01:12:11,955
Speaker 1: Santa Monica. We're going to take you over there and

1096
01:12:11,995 --> 01:12:14,675
Speaker 1: we're going to examine you. And I said, well, okay,

1097
01:12:14,675 --> 01:12:16,075
Speaker 1: how are we going to do this? Because I can't

1098
01:12:16,155 --> 01:12:18,675
Speaker 1: when I bring my arm down, I can see I

1099
01:12:18,675 --> 01:12:20,475
Speaker 1: can't bring my arm down. Well, I don't know, we're

1100
01:12:20,475 --> 01:12:21,915
Speaker 1: gonna get you on the gurney. I said, does the

1101
01:12:21,915 --> 01:12:23,995
Speaker 1: gurney have locks? And they go yeah, So they put

1102
01:12:23,995 --> 01:12:25,595
Speaker 1: the locks in the gurney. I said, I'm doing a

1103
01:12:25,635 --> 01:12:28,275
Speaker 1: trust fall here, and I stuck my butt against the

1104
01:12:28,395 --> 01:12:30,795
Speaker 1: edge of this gurney and just fell backwards, and they

1105
01:12:30,835 --> 01:12:32,715
Speaker 1: sort of caught me as I fell, and then they

1106
01:12:32,715 --> 01:12:35,635
Speaker 1: put me in the in the in the ambulance, and

1107
01:12:35,795 --> 01:12:38,715
Speaker 1: they hit every pothole between there and the ambulance. And

1108
01:12:38,835 --> 01:12:41,915
Speaker 1: I called my agent, and after she stopped laughing, she said,

1109
01:12:41,955 --> 01:12:43,835
Speaker 1: I'll make a few phone calls and we'll make sure

1110
01:12:43,835 --> 01:12:46,795
Speaker 1: you're okay. We'll get you a doctor. So now I'm

1111
01:12:46,835 --> 01:12:50,035
Speaker 1: waiting to be x rayed and perhaps mrid at this

1112
01:12:50,115 --> 01:12:53,035
Speaker 1: hospital in Santa Monica going. I hope I still get

1113
01:12:53,075 --> 01:12:55,715
Speaker 1: the money. They did get the shoot, what about tomorrow's

1114
01:12:55,715 --> 01:12:58,435
Speaker 1: second I don't want them to This is going to

1115
01:12:58,435 --> 01:13:00,675
Speaker 1: be a problem, and I can't sue anybody because it's

1116
01:13:00,675 --> 01:13:03,715
Speaker 1: my production company that's done a deal to keep all

1117
01:13:03,715 --> 01:13:05,795
Speaker 1: the two hundred and fifty five dollars that they're going

1118
01:13:05,835 --> 01:13:08,835
Speaker 1: to give me. I'm not working as me, I'm working

1119
01:13:08,835 --> 01:13:12,915
Speaker 1: as my company. So I'm paying for all damages. I

1120
01:13:12,915 --> 01:13:15,915
Speaker 1: can sue myself for falling off the cliff. But I'm

1121
01:13:15,915 --> 01:13:18,115
Speaker 1: sitting there and they've given me an injection, and then

1122
01:13:18,155 --> 01:13:20,475
Speaker 1: I'm like, the phone rings and I reach into my

1123
01:13:20,515 --> 01:13:22,875
Speaker 1: pocket with my left hand and just pick it up.

1124
01:13:22,875 --> 01:13:24,795
Speaker 1: And it's my agent following up on a few things.

1125
01:13:24,795 --> 01:13:27,195
Speaker 1: And I put my hand back and I dropped the

1126
01:13:27,235 --> 01:13:29,915
Speaker 1: phone and I and I swing my legs off of

1127
01:13:29,955 --> 01:13:32,155
Speaker 1: the gurney and reached down to get it. And I'm

1128
01:13:32,195 --> 01:13:35,355
Speaker 1: on the floor with my and I'm like, wait a minute,

1129
01:13:35,755 --> 01:13:40,435
Speaker 1: what happened to the volcano like pain on my left side.

1130
01:13:40,435 --> 01:13:43,475
Speaker 1: I'm reaching with my left side and the nurse runs

1131
01:13:43,515 --> 01:13:45,115
Speaker 1: over it says, no, get back on the gurney. What

1132
01:13:45,115 --> 01:13:48,475
Speaker 1: are you doing? I said, why doesn't it hurt anymore?

1133
01:13:49,275 --> 01:13:52,555
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not that it doesn't hurt anymore. It

1134
01:13:52,995 --> 01:13:55,835
Speaker 1: feels my leg. My leg feels like the one I

1135
01:13:55,875 --> 01:13:58,995
Speaker 1: had when I was eleven years old. While I wasn't watching,

1136
01:13:59,035 --> 01:14:01,955
Speaker 1: did you saw off my leg and attached the one

1137
01:14:01,955 --> 01:14:03,795
Speaker 1: I had when I was eleven years old? Because I

1138
01:14:03,795 --> 01:14:06,715
Speaker 1: don't need any help here, I can hop back to Connecticut.

1139
01:14:06,755 --> 01:14:09,755
Speaker 1: This leg feels great. She said, we gave you morphine

1140
01:14:10,075 --> 01:14:13,595
Speaker 1: and I went, oh, okay, now I get it. I said,

1141
01:14:13,835 --> 01:14:15,915
Speaker 1: I want you all to sign a document that says

1142
01:14:16,315 --> 01:14:19,195
Speaker 1: that you will never give me morphine again, because now

1143
01:14:19,195 --> 01:14:22,395
Speaker 1: I understand why every morphine addict in the world became

1144
01:14:22,435 --> 01:14:25,675
Speaker 1: an addict. And they went, we're not giving you anymore.

1145
01:14:25,715 --> 01:14:28,595
Speaker 1: We really can't take care of tomorrow. So I go

1146
01:14:28,755 --> 01:14:30,875
Speaker 1: back now to the hotel and I have some pain

1147
01:14:30,995 --> 01:14:35,955
Speaker 1: medication and nothing's broken. There's no internal damage, and I'm

1148
01:14:35,995 --> 01:14:39,595
Speaker 1: cleared to rest or work depending on how I feel.

1149
01:14:39,635 --> 01:14:42,315
Speaker 1: We're shooting the second commercial the next day. It's in

1150
01:14:42,675 --> 01:14:50,275
Speaker 1: Pasadena inside a old mansion with chandeliers, and it's really

1151
01:14:50,315 --> 01:14:52,795
Speaker 1: it's the indoor version of the commercial you already heard.

1152
01:14:52,995 --> 01:14:54,915
Speaker 1: And this is what that one sounds like.

1153
01:14:55,115 --> 01:15:00,395
Speaker 2: Empty tortures want more.

1154
01:15:01,235 --> 01:15:02,715
Speaker 3: There's a Banna from thin.

1155
01:15:03,995 --> 01:15:05,995
Speaker 2: There's a tip eat something.

1156
01:15:06,915 --> 01:15:09,355
Speaker 4: I recommend the new extreme carbage from Boston Market, like

1157
01:15:09,435 --> 01:15:12,635
Speaker 4: the chicken cheese stick juicy slow roasted chicken, peppers and

1158
01:15:12,675 --> 01:15:15,355
Speaker 4: onions smothered in four oui oui cheese is now get

1159
01:15:15,355 --> 01:15:17,075
Speaker 4: a free sign and a free drink when you buy

1160
01:15:17,075 --> 01:15:20,875
Speaker 4: an Extreme chicken cheese stick only at Boston Market. That

1161
01:15:21,435 --> 01:15:23,315
Speaker 4: burning from within it's called hunger.

1162
01:15:24,315 --> 01:15:26,715
Speaker 1: Obviously, what you can't see since you're not seeing the

1163
01:15:26,795 --> 01:15:29,835
Speaker 1: video of that, is in that shot. They again had

1164
01:15:29,835 --> 01:15:33,715
Speaker 1: me appear the kids are talking and doing the emptiness

1165
01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:36,155
Speaker 1: inside and I get up and say eat something. I

1166
01:15:36,195 --> 01:15:39,035
Speaker 1: had to be lying down on the floor out of

1167
01:15:39,075 --> 01:15:43,435
Speaker 1: shot and raise my torso up into the shot between

1168
01:15:43,475 --> 01:15:46,315
Speaker 1: the kids and deliver the line. And they said. The

1169
01:15:46,355 --> 01:15:49,075
Speaker 1: next day, the director when I came in, had his

1170
01:15:49,115 --> 01:15:50,755
Speaker 1: hand in front of his eyes. I can't look at you.

1171
01:15:50,835 --> 01:15:54,555
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I nearly killed you. I can't believe

1172
01:15:54,595 --> 01:15:56,755
Speaker 1: you're here. You're such a trooper, I said, tell everybody

1173
01:15:56,755 --> 01:15:58,635
Speaker 1: you ever meet that I'm actually a trooper and a

1174
01:15:58,675 --> 01:16:00,595
Speaker 1: team player. I will, I promise, I swear to God.

1175
01:16:00,595 --> 01:16:02,595
Speaker 1: Don't sue us. I said, I can't sue you. I

1176
01:16:02,595 --> 01:16:07,115
Speaker 1: can only sue myself. He said, can you do this?

1177
01:16:07,155 --> 01:16:10,755
Speaker 1: Can you sit up from a line position? I said,

1178
01:16:10,995 --> 01:16:13,955
Speaker 1: I think so, but I would think I could only

1179
01:16:13,995 --> 01:16:16,995
Speaker 1: do it six or seven times. And the problem isn't

1180
01:16:17,035 --> 01:16:20,275
Speaker 1: getting up, it's getting down. And he went oh. I said, so,

1181
01:16:20,315 --> 01:16:22,115
Speaker 1: you're going to have to have my friends who dragged

1182
01:16:22,155 --> 01:16:24,555
Speaker 1: me up the stairs at Leo Cabrio Beach the other

1183
01:16:24,635 --> 01:16:27,035
Speaker 1: day yesterday. You're going to have to have them lower

1184
01:16:27,115 --> 01:16:29,715
Speaker 1: me back to the floor after each take. And I

1185
01:16:29,755 --> 01:16:33,075
Speaker 1: think we should only do seven of them. I said,

1186
01:16:33,075 --> 01:16:34,555
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'll go and we get to seven.

1187
01:16:34,555 --> 01:16:35,955
Speaker 1: I'll let you know if I can do another one,

1188
01:16:35,955 --> 01:16:38,155
Speaker 1: but I think that's the max. Well we did, I

1189
01:16:38,195 --> 01:16:40,035
Speaker 1: think seven, and they loved them all and they were

1190
01:16:40,075 --> 01:16:42,995
Speaker 1: all perfect, and we were done, and I flew home

1191
01:16:43,075 --> 01:16:46,075
Speaker 1: the next day with my money and the two commercials,

1192
01:16:46,635 --> 01:16:49,635
Speaker 1: and a couple of times they had me go to

1193
01:16:49,675 --> 01:16:53,555
Speaker 1: Hartford and record updates for the prices, so the part

1194
01:16:53,595 --> 01:16:56,235
Speaker 1: where they show the food, they changed it or they

1195
01:16:56,315 --> 01:16:58,835
Speaker 1: changed the nature of the sides or whatever. And each

1196
01:16:58,955 --> 01:17:01,795
Speaker 1: time they would give me an extra like thousand dollars

1197
01:17:01,835 --> 01:17:03,875
Speaker 1: to do this. So now I'm approaching more like three

1198
01:17:03,955 --> 01:17:07,435
Speaker 1: hundred thousand. And the early returns on the commercials, which

1199
01:17:07,435 --> 01:17:10,035
Speaker 1: they cut almost immediately and put on the air on

1200
01:17:10,275 --> 01:17:13,475
Speaker 1: every sporting event in America in the winter of ninety

1201
01:17:13,515 --> 01:17:15,515
Speaker 1: six ninety seven, mostly in the second half of that,

1202
01:17:15,795 --> 01:17:19,995
Speaker 1: they're getting tremendous results. Boston Market had been a waste

1203
01:17:20,115 --> 01:17:22,795
Speaker 1: land until four or five in the afternoon because all

1204
01:17:22,835 --> 01:17:27,115
Speaker 1: it was conceived as having been Boston chicken was the

1205
01:17:27,395 --> 01:17:29,635
Speaker 1: whole dinner when you didn't have time to cook, and

1206
01:17:29,675 --> 01:17:31,555
Speaker 1: you could get a whole chicken or a half chicken

1207
01:17:31,675 --> 01:17:33,955
Speaker 1: and a bunch of sides, and the sides were pretty good,

1208
01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:35,875
Speaker 1: and you could go in there during the day and

1209
01:17:35,875 --> 01:17:38,915
Speaker 1: get a sandwich or chicken sandwich, but nobody did. These

1210
01:17:39,075 --> 01:17:41,515
Speaker 1: ads were to put people in there to buy the

1211
01:17:41,595 --> 01:17:45,235
Speaker 1: five dollars meal. And they wanted more commercials, and they said,

1212
01:17:45,275 --> 01:17:47,635
Speaker 1: we're going to shoot three more commercials. We're not going

1213
01:17:47,675 --> 01:17:49,075
Speaker 1: to give it, can't give you two hundred and fifty

1214
01:17:49,115 --> 01:17:51,075
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, but we need you for three days, and

1215
01:17:51,115 --> 01:17:53,915
Speaker 1: we'll give you fifty thousand dollars a day, which somehow

1216
01:17:53,955 --> 01:17:57,235
Speaker 1: sounded better. So now I've already made three hundred thousand

1217
01:17:57,275 --> 01:18:00,555
Speaker 1: dollars off of this commercial. Admittedly I nearly killed myself

1218
01:18:00,595 --> 01:18:03,075
Speaker 1: making this commercial, but that ads did the story. And

1219
01:18:03,115 --> 01:18:06,235
Speaker 1: now the commercials are wonderful, successful, and now we go

1220
01:18:06,275 --> 01:18:09,875
Speaker 1: and shoot three more, one of which involves me interrupting

1221
01:18:09,955 --> 01:18:13,595
Speaker 1: a grunge band and they stage a concert in Astoria,

1222
01:18:13,715 --> 01:18:21,515
Speaker 1: Queens at the old Bread Factory, Silver Cup Studios. It's wonderful.

1223
01:18:21,555 --> 01:18:24,675
Speaker 1: I go to Queens. It's marvelous. Fifty thousand dollars that

1224
01:18:24,755 --> 01:18:27,795
Speaker 1: had cast of one hundred people a mosh pit they

1225
01:18:27,835 --> 01:18:30,275
Speaker 1: fake carry me off. There's another one in which I

1226
01:18:30,355 --> 01:18:33,515
Speaker 1: interrupt a soap opera and lean up off the table

1227
01:18:33,835 --> 01:18:37,715
Speaker 1: and stop the amorous doctor talking to the buxom nurse.

1228
01:18:37,915 --> 01:18:41,275
Speaker 1: I mean, there were really high quality, very entertaining commercials,

1229
01:18:41,875 --> 01:18:46,475
Speaker 1: and then came the news that the commercials had worked

1230
01:18:46,955 --> 01:18:53,595
Speaker 1: immediately and too well. The premise was get people in

1231
01:18:53,635 --> 01:18:56,235
Speaker 1: there to buy the four or five dollars lunch. We're

1232
01:18:56,275 --> 01:19:00,955
Speaker 1: selling enough dinners. What they did not anticipate would be

1233
01:19:01,675 --> 01:19:05,595
Speaker 1: that suddenly people who were buying the sixteen dollar dinners

1234
01:19:06,435 --> 01:19:08,155
Speaker 1: would say, hey, wait a minute, I don't need the

1235
01:19:08,195 --> 01:19:10,635
Speaker 1: whole dinner. I'll just go in and get the sandwich

1236
01:19:10,955 --> 01:19:15,755
Speaker 1: for four dollars. So this wasn't true with every single purchase,

1237
01:19:15,755 --> 01:19:19,755
Speaker 1: but largely every time my brilliant performance and their brilliant

1238
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:22,795
Speaker 1: commercials worked and convinced somebody to buy a sandwich at

1239
01:19:22,835 --> 01:19:26,475
Speaker 1: lunchtime at Boston Market. It cost Boston Market twelve bucks

1240
01:19:26,875 --> 01:19:29,715
Speaker 1: and it worked brilliantly. We got an award for these

1241
01:19:29,755 --> 01:19:33,475
Speaker 1: ads because of the premise of insulting and mocking heroin Chic.

1242
01:19:33,515 --> 01:19:37,195
Speaker 1: We got an award from a national eating disorders society

1243
01:19:37,355 --> 01:19:41,115
Speaker 1: because apparently this clicked with kids who had this problem.

1244
01:19:41,235 --> 01:19:45,995
Speaker 1: It clicked particularly with high school girls. It was actually

1245
01:19:46,035 --> 01:19:48,795
Speaker 1: performing something in a small way of a public service,

1246
01:19:49,075 --> 01:19:51,355
Speaker 1: to say nothing of the fact that they gave me

1247
01:19:52,195 --> 01:19:56,675
Speaker 1: half a million dollars. Basically, the problem was within a

1248
01:19:56,755 --> 01:20:00,355
Speaker 1: year Boston Market was nine hundred million dollars in debt,

1249
01:20:00,555 --> 01:20:04,515
Speaker 1: and most of it was my fault. I believe this

1250
01:20:04,795 --> 01:20:07,155
Speaker 1: is the case. Whereas there have been humans who have

1251
01:20:07,195 --> 01:20:11,675
Speaker 1: appeared on camera actors in subsequent Boston Market ads since

1252
01:20:11,755 --> 01:20:15,755
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety seven, they have not had a spokesperson, they

1253
01:20:15,795 --> 01:20:20,435
Speaker 1: have not had an identifiable person on there. Ever, Again,

1254
01:20:20,835 --> 01:20:23,955
Speaker 1: they were so traumatized they went bankrupt. They were sold,

1255
01:20:23,995 --> 01:20:30,435
Speaker 1: I think to McDonald's. The commercials worked, not wisely but

1256
01:20:30,755 --> 01:20:34,755
Speaker 1: too well. On the other hand, I got the money,

1257
01:20:34,915 --> 01:20:38,515
Speaker 1: and I can always say eat something.

1258
01:20:52,435 --> 01:20:53,115
Speaker 2: By the way, I'm a.

1259
01:20:53,195 --> 01:20:58,275
Speaker 1: Vegetarian now, so eat something, but not that. Also, I

1260
01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:04,355
Speaker 1: just like to repeat ouey, gooey. It took a long

1261
01:21:04,395 --> 01:21:08,235
Speaker 1: time to live that down. I've done all the damage

1262
01:21:08,235 --> 01:21:10,035
Speaker 1: I can do here. Thank you for listening. I hope

1263
01:21:10,035 --> 01:21:13,395
Speaker 1: you enjoyed my brief twenty one second long presidential campaign.

1264
01:21:15,035 --> 01:21:18,115
Speaker 1: Musical directors have Countdowner John Phillips Chanel on keyboards and

1265
01:21:18,115 --> 01:21:22,035
Speaker 1: handling orchestration and Brian Ray on guitarist, bass and drums.

1266
01:21:22,035 --> 01:21:25,555
Speaker 1: Their work is produced by Tko Brothers. Nancy Fauss, the

1267
01:21:25,595 --> 01:21:28,835
Speaker 1: best baseball stadium organist ever, is responsible for the satirical

1268
01:21:28,835 --> 01:21:33,355
Speaker 1: and pithy musical comments. The sports theme is the Old

1269
01:21:33,475 --> 01:21:37,115
Speaker 1: Olderman Show theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren

1270
01:21:37,195 --> 01:21:40,555
Speaker 1: Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. And by the way, all

1271
01:21:40,595 --> 01:21:44,835
Speaker 1: the Oldermans are Old Oldermans now. Other music arranged and

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Speaker 1: performed by the group No Horns Allowed. And my announcer today,

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Speaker 1: in light of my earlier comments about the Bush administration,

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Speaker 1: was my late friend Nick Shaney. This program was produced

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Speaker 1: by Ted. Everything else was, as always my fault. That's

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Speaker 1: countdown for today. Day four hundred and forty two of

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Speaker 1: America held hostage again, but just one twenty one days

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Speaker 1: until the scheduled end of Trump's lame duck and lame

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Speaker 1: brained term unless he is removed sooner by Epstein and

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Speaker 1: Don Lemon. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday Bulletins as

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Speaker 1: the news merits until the next edition. I'm Keith Olderman.

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Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was talking to President.

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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For

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Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.