WEBVTT - Check In: Holiday Special 0:00:15.210 --> 0:00:26.850 Pushkin, how are we? 0:00:28.330 --> 0:00:31.850 How are we onm I run this morning there were 0:00:32.050 --> 0:00:35.769 like tiny little flurries. That's like the first little bit 0:00:35.810 --> 0:00:36.570 of snow this year. 0:00:36.930 --> 0:00:40.650 Yeah, I noticed like a single snowflake. 0:00:42.010 --> 0:00:44.329 Well that's wonderful. Did you try to catch that snowflake 0:00:44.409 --> 0:00:45.650 on your tongue? 0:00:45.930 --> 0:00:49.210 No, I had a mask on. You're trying to trick me. 0:00:49.730 --> 0:00:51.809 Ah, that's right, but no, no. 0:00:51.569 --> 0:00:55.810 No, Honestly, I feel like I'm also trying to trick 0:00:55.970 --> 0:01:00.130 my four year old into liking Khanuka. Yeah, did you 0:01:00.170 --> 0:01:03.250 guys know that last night was the first night I did. 0:01:03.370 --> 0:01:03.770 Of course. 0:01:03.890 --> 0:01:10.729 So we got these uh inflatable balloons that spell out Lahaiad. 0:01:10.810 --> 0:01:14.530 That sounds amazing, And so we had some fun trying 0:01:14.570 --> 0:01:17.450 to teach AUGI how to pronounce lakaiama. 0:01:17.650 --> 0:01:30.810 Try to say, what a nice it's lachai am. 0:01:30.850 --> 0:01:37.130 So, because Emily celebrates Christmas, there's a Christmas tree in 0:01:37.170 --> 0:01:40.410 the house, and I pulled out like this small little 0:01:40.810 --> 0:01:43.610 manora that we have that my father bought me from 0:01:43.650 --> 0:01:46.970 his trip to Israel in like the nineteen eighties, and 0:01:48.010 --> 0:01:50.810 so I'm like, isn't the manora just as cool as 0:01:50.810 --> 0:01:59.130 a Christmas Tree's what's so funny Papa joking Kaki, like 0:01:59.170 --> 0:02:04.250 he actually thought I was making a joke. I made 0:02:04.250 --> 0:02:06.970 a good show of it. I explained the miracle of Hanukkah, 0:02:07.010 --> 0:02:09.770 which is like how the temple only had enough oil 0:02:09.850 --> 0:02:12.609 for one day, but it lasted seven. And he wasn't 0:02:12.810 --> 0:02:14.010 He was not impressed. 0:02:14.930 --> 0:02:17.329 Like Chase, he doesn't understand how oil works. 0:02:17.450 --> 0:02:18.810 Who understands how oil works? 0:02:18.850 --> 0:02:22.690 Like reindeer flying, that's a miracle, like Santa Claus fitting 0:02:22.690 --> 0:02:25.850 down a chimney, immaculate conception, but like the whole thing 0:02:25.890 --> 0:02:27.210 about oil, Like he was just like. 0:02:27.210 --> 0:02:29.450 I don't know what that means. 0:02:29.490 --> 0:02:32.810 In the olden days, before they had electricity, all they. 0:02:32.730 --> 0:02:33.410 Had was oil. 0:02:33.730 --> 0:02:36.410 So we lit it and we said some prayers, and 0:02:36.410 --> 0:02:41.169 then we ate night the Jewish Deli food. And that 0:02:41.410 --> 0:02:44.850 is something that Aggie definitely loves. 0:03:09.410 --> 0:03:12.530 To think about. What I'm gonna do for the holidays. 0:03:13.290 --> 0:03:17.090 I'm really hoping to get to see my grandparents somehow. 0:03:17.970 --> 0:03:21.490 My grandparents are ninety five years old. Well yeah, and 0:03:22.050 --> 0:03:26.290 with COVID, I haven't seen them in so long. I 0:03:26.330 --> 0:03:30.210 do try to call them though. I called my grandma 0:03:30.250 --> 0:03:35.090 actually the other day. Hello, Hello, who is this? It's 0:03:35.090 --> 0:03:37.770 Stevie oh. 0:03:37.490 --> 0:03:40.010 I just hold on a minute. 0:03:40.170 --> 0:03:43.490 I heard these like loud noises in the background. Am 0:03:43.490 --> 0:03:44.690 I interrupting something? 0:03:45.330 --> 0:03:45.370 No. 0:03:45.770 --> 0:03:48.650 We was sitting in a garage and this one couple 0:03:48.770 --> 0:03:51.690 drove over and they're sitting on the driveway. But they've 0:03:51.690 --> 0:03:54.210 been here an hour already and they're supposed to leave 0:03:55.210 --> 0:03:56.530 an hour's enough. 0:03:57.130 --> 0:03:57.930 So thank you. 0:03:58.010 --> 0:04:00.530 This gives me. I was at the eleven take care 0:04:00.610 --> 0:04:03.650 of it? Oh yeah, yeah, how do you get company 0:04:03.690 --> 0:04:04.130 to leave? 0:04:05.570 --> 0:04:09.730 They are seeing some friends at a distance outside, even 0:04:09.770 --> 0:04:12.010 though it's so cold. So I was like, maybe there's 0:04:12.010 --> 0:04:15.250 a way we can do that, and immediately she was 0:04:15.330 --> 0:04:19.609 like most concerned about the way she's gonna look. So like, 0:04:19.650 --> 0:04:21.770 my grandma is someone who takes a lot of pride 0:04:21.770 --> 0:04:25.009 in her appearance, Like she's very put together. She's always 0:04:25.050 --> 0:04:27.329 boasting about how she's the only one of her friends 0:04:27.409 --> 0:04:30.890 who can still wear heels, and she's been saying that 0:04:31.330 --> 0:04:35.609 since like she was seventy years old, you know, and 0:04:35.650 --> 0:04:38.289 you know, like pre pandemic. She would go regularly to 0:04:38.369 --> 0:04:41.529 get her hair dyed at a salon. So when I 0:04:41.570 --> 0:04:44.250 was on the phone with her talking about this hypothetical 0:04:44.330 --> 0:04:48.290 visit where we'd both be bundled up in hats and scarves. Anyway, 0:04:49.089 --> 0:04:50.929 she was very worried about her hair. 0:04:51.409 --> 0:04:56.330 But this pandemic going around my gray is showing Grandma. 0:04:56.450 --> 0:04:58.890 I'm sorry, but you're ninety five years old. Like I 0:04:58.929 --> 0:05:01.169 think the jig is up. I think people know that 0:05:01.210 --> 0:05:02.369 you're probably gray. 0:05:04.690 --> 0:05:06.370 I am gray. 0:05:07.729 --> 0:05:11.010 While we were on the subject of it reminded me 0:05:11.049 --> 0:05:14.089 of this story, something I actually still think about a lot. 0:05:15.169 --> 0:05:17.570 So when I was six or seven, I was staying 0:05:17.609 --> 0:05:20.929 with them in their house and I woke up early 0:05:20.969 --> 0:05:23.289 in the morning and I walked right into their bedroom 0:05:23.289 --> 0:05:25.850 and I didn't knock her anything, and my grandpa was 0:05:25.890 --> 0:05:28.089 there in front of the mirror, like at his dresser, 0:05:29.130 --> 0:05:32.129 and I was like, you know, hey, Grandpa, and he 0:05:32.210 --> 0:05:35.370 noticed me, and immediately he was like super flustered and 0:05:35.729 --> 0:05:38.169 grabbed this thing off the dresser and like held it 0:05:38.210 --> 0:05:40.089 to his head and was like, you know, like clearly 0:05:40.089 --> 0:05:45.210 he didn't want me to see him, which is how 0:05:45.250 --> 0:05:50.170 I learned that actually my grandpa is bald, and where's 0:05:50.210 --> 0:05:55.330 a two pey? And I remember in that moment, I 0:05:55.450 --> 0:05:58.289 knew I'd seen something I wasn't supposed to write, like 0:05:58.289 --> 0:06:00.649 like almost like I'd walked in on him. Naked or something. 0:06:00.690 --> 0:06:03.489 It was that kind of feeling, yeah, like like, oh, 0:06:03.529 --> 0:06:06.129 that was a private moment that I wasn't supposed to see. 0:06:06.130 --> 0:06:08.169 And it was like very clear that he was embarrassed, 0:06:08.210 --> 0:06:12.370 and it was almost like it scared me kind of, you. 0:06:12.330 --> 0:06:16.450 Know, because you never seen your grandfather react in that way. 0:06:16.810 --> 0:06:19.729 Oh No, And my grandfather is like such a mild 0:06:20.330 --> 0:06:23.929 mannered person. I think he's the one who always wants 0:06:24.010 --> 0:06:26.330 to make sure that everyone is okay. And you know, 0:06:26.409 --> 0:06:28.450 for him to kind of like yell or ask me 0:06:28.489 --> 0:06:31.810 to leave, I mean that's like never before and ever 0:06:31.890 --> 0:06:35.690 since kind of a thing. Yeah, And I just turned 0:06:35.690 --> 0:06:39.210 and like ran out. I ran into the den and 0:06:39.330 --> 0:06:43.569 like buried my face in the couch cushions and just 0:06:43.729 --> 0:06:45.969 was like like hysterically crying. 0:06:47.690 --> 0:06:49.569 It was like your family was trying to protect you 0:06:49.609 --> 0:06:53.929 from the horrors of baldness. 0:06:55.330 --> 0:06:58.689 Eventually, my grandma found me and she kind of held 0:06:58.729 --> 0:07:01.249 me and explained, you know, like this is something that 0:07:01.289 --> 0:07:04.570 Grandpa's sensitive about, and like that's why he wears a wig. 0:07:04.650 --> 0:07:06.010 I think she called it a wig, you know, I 0:07:06.049 --> 0:07:08.809 didn't know what it to pay was like that's why. 0:07:08.690 --> 0:07:11.290 He wears a wid something about a wig sun. So 0:07:11.450 --> 0:07:14.369 let's like it's like he's like in costume or something 0:07:14.570 --> 0:07:15.690 that's us signified. 0:07:17.330 --> 0:07:20.210 I know he was horrified because not we're mis supposed 0:07:20.290 --> 0:07:20.530 to all. 0:07:22.330 --> 0:07:24.050 Do you think I could talk to him about it 0:07:24.090 --> 0:07:24.970 and that would be okay? 0:07:25.690 --> 0:07:27.890 Yes, as a matter of fact, I'd be interested to 0:07:28.010 --> 0:07:29.330 him what he said about it. 0:07:30.090 --> 0:07:32.850 I didn't even know if he would remember it, or 0:07:32.929 --> 0:07:35.650 if he did. I was sort of worried that it 0:07:35.770 --> 0:07:39.570 might still embarrass him, right, I mean we never I 0:07:39.650 --> 0:07:40.970 never spoke to him about it. 0:07:41.330 --> 0:07:43.050 You never talked to your grandfather about it? 0:07:43.530 --> 0:07:43.730 No? 0:07:43.970 --> 0:07:48.689 No, I mean clearly it was like reboting. But a 0:07:48.690 --> 0:07:49.890 few days later, I called my. 0:07:49.850 --> 0:07:54.250 Grandpa, good afternoon. 0:07:54.010 --> 0:07:55.530 Good afternoon yourself. 0:07:55.929 --> 0:08:00.090 What's happening? So? 0:08:00.610 --> 0:08:05.770 Uh oh, sorry, I'm I'm a little nervous to talk 0:08:05.810 --> 0:08:07.730 to you about this. I have to be honest. 0:08:08.610 --> 0:08:09.050 Oh really? 0:08:09.890 --> 0:08:10.610 Yeah? 0:08:10.730 --> 0:08:15.610 Should I be nervous about talking him to you about this? Oh? 0:08:15.970 --> 0:08:21.090 Okay, go ahead, Okay, I wanted to talk to you 0:08:21.130 --> 0:08:23.450 about something. I explained to him why I was calling, 0:08:23.489 --> 0:08:25.730 and I retold him the story about the day I 0:08:25.810 --> 0:08:28.410 learned he was bald, and he remembered it. 0:08:28.610 --> 0:08:31.290 Yes, I remember, to think for you in fact. 0:08:31.489 --> 0:08:34.130 But immediately. He just did what he always does, which 0:08:34.170 --> 0:08:36.610 is just tried to make me feel better about it. 0:08:37.010 --> 0:08:41.370 Don't be embarrassed anymore. Forget about it, forget about it. 0:08:41.970 --> 0:08:46.610 You know, it was it was a part of my vanity, 0:08:46.970 --> 0:08:50.690 but it was, you know, in retrospect, it probably was silly. 0:08:50.730 --> 0:08:57.290 It was. It was an expensive affectation. But it's over. 0:08:58.010 --> 0:09:01.010 I may be at a point in my life where 0:09:01.050 --> 0:09:04.130 I say that's it. I'm going to go the rest 0:09:04.170 --> 0:09:05.250 of the way without it. 0:09:05.890 --> 0:09:06.090 Yeah. 0:09:06.170 --> 0:09:08.850 Do you feel like as you've gotten older, like your vanity, 0:09:08.930 --> 0:09:10.850 do you feel like that's dropped away? 0:09:12.610 --> 0:09:16.890 Yeah? I think that it's uh yahn JD. Can I 0:09:17.050 --> 0:09:18.450 interjection in it? 0:09:18.650 --> 0:09:21.570 My grandma, I didn't even know what's there. 0:09:21.770 --> 0:09:26.130 Listen, I want to add one little thing. When you 0:09:26.290 --> 0:09:29.650 talk about Grandpa and that he's not vain, but let 0:09:29.690 --> 0:09:32.650 me tell you. When they're home in the house, like 0:09:32.810 --> 0:09:36.770 right now, both of us not seeing anybody, Grandpa. 0:09:36.370 --> 0:09:41.330 Wears a cap and he doesn't take it off. He 0:09:41.410 --> 0:09:45.850 wears a cap like a baseball cap. 0:09:46.130 --> 0:09:49.170 Yes, here we are, I'm making the bed and he's 0:09:49.210 --> 0:09:49.810 watching TV. 0:09:50.330 --> 0:09:53.250 But there's a white cap on his head. My dame, 0:09:53.690 --> 0:09:55.010 not ding no no. 0:09:55.370 --> 0:09:56.930 But he always wears a cat. 0:09:58.810 --> 0:10:01.650 You know something, we all have a bit of vanity. 0:10:01.770 --> 0:10:03.770 We all look in the mirror and want to see 0:10:04.130 --> 0:10:06.490 what we want to see. Of course, Grandpa and I 0:10:06.530 --> 0:10:08.850 would like to see twenty years off their faces. But 0:10:09.210 --> 0:10:12.730 so we're all a little vain, I think. 0:10:12.850 --> 0:10:12.890 So. 0:10:15.130 --> 0:10:18.410 I was just reminded of story, and I think it's 0:10:18.450 --> 0:10:21.250 a story you can tell on your iPod. 0:10:20.850 --> 0:10:23.810 Because it's hysterical. I tell it all the time. 0:10:24.290 --> 0:10:24.850 Go ahead. 0:10:25.650 --> 0:10:29.410 We went to a pool and you were learning to swim, 0:10:29.450 --> 0:10:31.530 and you wanted to swim at the deep end. 0:10:32.050 --> 0:10:33.770 How old was I You. 0:10:33.810 --> 0:10:37.650 Must have been around maybe six or seven year so 0:10:37.850 --> 0:10:41.370 you said, I have to swim with you. So what 0:10:41.450 --> 0:10:43.770 could I do? My granddaughter asked, So I jumped in 0:10:43.810 --> 0:10:46.050 the water and I went and I swam with you 0:10:46.210 --> 0:10:50.530 to the deep end and back. And when we got out, 0:10:50.970 --> 0:10:55.050 you looked at me like with your eyes wide open 0:10:55.770 --> 0:10:59.810 and your mouth up, and I said, what's the matter 0:10:59.890 --> 0:11:03.650 and you said nothing, Only now you look like a 0:11:03.770 --> 0:11:06.449 grandma talk about the. 0:11:06.250 --> 0:11:07.370 Day with my hair wet. 0:11:07.490 --> 0:11:08.970 I looked horrible, And that's. 0:11:08.890 --> 0:11:09.610 What you said. 0:11:14.850 --> 0:11:17.770 Okay, sweetie, I'll give him back to you as grandpa. 0:11:18.050 --> 0:11:24.370 Okay, that's been that's been my life for seventy five years. 0:11:25.610 --> 0:11:27.970 I get to talk, she has to get a word. 0:11:37.130 --> 0:11:39.050 Huh, seventy five years. 0:11:39.450 --> 0:11:42.890 Yeah, and they've known each other since they were thirteen. 0:11:43.210 --> 0:11:43.530 Whoa. 0:11:43.890 --> 0:11:47.050 They both lived in the Bronx and they met in 0:11:47.050 --> 0:11:51.050 the neighborhood. It was really sweet. At one point I 0:11:51.090 --> 0:11:53.930 asked him what the thing is that he missed the 0:11:53.970 --> 0:11:56.370 most about New York when he left the city. 0:11:57.130 --> 0:12:02.730 Well, that's a good question. I didn't really miss much. 0:12:03.850 --> 0:12:05.890 I took your grandma with me and that was that 0:12:06.170 --> 0:12:06.610 was enough. 0:12:15.370 --> 0:12:17.210 You know what the best thing about being bald is 0:12:17.970 --> 0:12:20.610 if I may. I had the experience a few days 0:12:20.650 --> 0:12:23.890 ago where Aggie kissed me on my head and it 0:12:23.930 --> 0:12:27.370 was like the most tender like almost like a I 0:12:27.410 --> 0:12:29.250 don't know, like a paternal thing like. I was very 0:12:29.250 --> 0:12:31.450 surprised that he did it, and I was thinking, like 0:12:31.610 --> 0:12:33.730 if I, if I had hair, I wouldn't have been 0:12:33.730 --> 0:12:36.170 able to feel that kiss in the same way. 0:12:36.170 --> 0:12:37.010 Well that's nice. 0:12:37.330 --> 0:12:39.610 Yeah, I still wish I had my hair. 0:12:39.730 --> 0:12:54.809 But Stevie, it's funny that your story was about your grandparents, 0:12:54.810 --> 0:13:00.610 because I actually also have a story involving grandparents. Oh 0:13:00.650 --> 0:13:02.850 and it involves a long marriage as well. 0:13:03.130 --> 0:13:04.410 Let's hear it. 0:13:04.010 --> 0:13:04.170 YEA. 0:13:05.090 --> 0:13:09.130 So I was talking to this guy named PACs And 0:13:09.130 --> 0:13:13.090 and he was telling me that he a couple of 0:13:13.130 --> 0:13:17.250 years ago moved across the country to Cleveland for school, 0:13:17.290 --> 0:13:19.250 so he didn't know anyone. It was kind of a 0:13:19.290 --> 0:13:25.730 weird transitional time. And he was walking in this big 0:13:25.810 --> 0:13:27.650 cemetery called Lakeview. 0:13:27.690 --> 0:13:31.610 And I saw this headstone that said listen for my 0:13:31.730 --> 0:13:37.050 football in your heart. What does that mean even exactly, 0:13:36.610 --> 0:13:40.490 I don't really know, like listen for my football in 0:13:40.530 --> 0:13:40.930 your heart. 0:13:40.970 --> 0:13:41.970 It's I don't know. 0:13:42.090 --> 0:13:46.890 I just could imagine like Grandpa just really sincerely loving 0:13:46.930 --> 0:13:51.130 football and leaving that message. So I think it just 0:13:51.210 --> 0:13:54.290 delighted me and it made me think about my grandparents. 0:13:54.330 --> 0:13:57.410 And my phone was really low on battery and I 0:13:57.450 --> 0:14:00.690 had been saving it so that I could like find 0:14:00.690 --> 0:14:03.130 my way back if I needed to. But I was like, 0:14:03.210 --> 0:14:04.050 this is worth it. 0:14:04.410 --> 0:14:06.850 He took a picture, and the second he took the picture, 0:14:06.930 --> 0:14:10.210 his phone died. So he just have this one picture 0:14:10.290 --> 0:14:13.450 and it wasn't like amazing, like it was a little blurry, 0:14:15.130 --> 0:14:16.930 but he just found a lot of comfort in this 0:14:17.090 --> 0:14:19.930 headstone that said listen for my football in your heart, 0:14:20.450 --> 0:14:24.610 and like loved the absurdity of it. And it was 0:14:24.610 --> 0:14:28.650 a headstone for this man named Don, and PACKS just 0:14:28.690 --> 0:14:31.010 started thinking about Don a lot because he had this 0:14:31.090 --> 0:14:33.370 picture of him. It's this like sweet old man who 0:14:33.450 --> 0:14:34.930 just loved football so much. 0:14:35.450 --> 0:14:39.250 And so for the last like two years, every once 0:14:39.250 --> 0:14:42.090 in a while I'll like pull up that picture and 0:14:42.610 --> 0:14:46.930 show people and be like, I found this weird headstone 0:14:47.250 --> 0:14:50.770 about football that just pleases me. 0:14:51.210 --> 0:14:54.490 Did other people like find it as delightful as you did? 0:14:55.290 --> 0:14:59.410 I don't think they really did. I think I was 0:14:59.610 --> 0:15:02.490 particularly tickled by it, and people were just like, oh, 0:15:02.530 --> 0:15:07.490 that's cool. Even in dark times, I would sometimes it 0:15:07.530 --> 0:15:11.850 sounds really silly. I would just be like, I'm having 0:15:11.890 --> 0:15:14.010 a hard time, but at least there's a headstone out 0:15:14.050 --> 0:15:16.290 there that says listen for my football. 0:15:15.850 --> 0:15:16.690 In your heart. 0:15:16.850 --> 0:15:19.170 And I had gone back a couple times and like 0:15:19.290 --> 0:15:22.170 looked for it, and I had never found it. 0:15:22.850 --> 0:15:26.570 So flash forward to this year, the year twenty twenty 0:15:26.930 --> 0:15:31.690 packed hae stuck at home like everyone, and one morning. 0:15:31.770 --> 0:15:35.890 I woke up and had like symptoms that could be 0:15:35.970 --> 0:15:39.690 of COVID, like a sore throat, and my roommates and 0:15:39.690 --> 0:15:43.570 I take it very seriously, so immediately I got tested 0:15:43.690 --> 0:15:47.890 and was quarantined in my bedroom. Had not furnished it yet, 0:15:47.970 --> 0:15:50.490 so it just has a bed in it. So it 0:15:50.530 --> 0:15:53.410 was just four days of sitting on my bed pretty 0:15:53.490 --> 0:15:56.650 much and only allowed to leave to go to the bathroom. 0:15:56.970 --> 0:15:57.930 What were you eating? 0:15:58.570 --> 0:16:03.970 I was just eating frozen meals from trading. Jep would 0:16:04.010 --> 0:16:06.850 just leave my room to microwave them and then bring 0:16:06.890 --> 0:16:08.290 them back into my room. 0:16:09.450 --> 0:16:12.010 Really like drove me a little crazy. 0:16:12.530 --> 0:16:15.810 So it's kind of like a dark couple days. And 0:16:15.850 --> 0:16:19.610 then he gets his test results and they're negative, and 0:16:19.690 --> 0:16:22.650 so he's like so relieved, and immediately he calls up 0:16:22.690 --> 0:16:24.770 his sister and is like, I can leave my room. 0:16:25.090 --> 0:16:27.650 Lets meet up at the cemetery and go for a walk. 0:16:27.970 --> 0:16:31.730 So it was a very like cathartic, like first time 0:16:31.770 --> 0:16:35.650 I had been outside in a while, and it was 0:16:35.690 --> 0:16:38.930 a beautiful day, and I was like, we should look 0:16:39.010 --> 0:16:43.730 for listen for my football in your Heart, and we 0:16:43.890 --> 0:16:48.210 found it and I was really ecstatic. And then she 0:16:48.410 --> 0:16:52.370 was like I'm disappointed, and I was like what And 0:16:52.690 --> 0:16:54.730 I looked back at it and it said listen for 0:16:54.890 --> 0:16:57.730 my footfall in your Heart with an ax. 0:17:01.210 --> 0:17:04.609 The stone itself was like a little bit modeled, so 0:17:04.730 --> 0:17:07.169 for all these years, like he just had been misreading it, 0:17:07.210 --> 0:17:09.650 and because the picture he'd taken was a little blurry. 0:17:09.889 --> 0:17:11.409 When he showed it to people and was like it 0:17:11.450 --> 0:17:14.049 said listen for my football, they just would be like, oh, yeah, 0:17:14.129 --> 0:17:15.609 I guess that is what it says. 0:17:15.770 --> 0:17:19.529 And then, weirdly enough, as soon as I noticed that 0:17:19.850 --> 0:17:24.330 I had misread it, it like immediately started raining really hard, 0:17:25.129 --> 0:17:28.369 and I took a picture really quickly and then ran 0:17:28.449 --> 0:17:32.729 home and was soaking wet. I feel like it was 0:17:32.810 --> 0:17:36.649 disappointing for like zero point five seconds, and then it was. 0:17:37.490 --> 0:17:40.090 It just made it even more delightful that I had 0:17:40.409 --> 0:17:46.810 misread this headstone, and like that misreading had gotten me 0:17:46.889 --> 0:17:52.210 to think about it for two years. I think right now, 0:17:52.330 --> 0:17:56.369 especially human connection is kind of a rare thing, and 0:17:57.209 --> 0:18:01.370 it was this stranger that I had forged a connection 0:18:01.490 --> 0:18:11.490 with felt special. There's two names on the headstone, and 0:18:12.169 --> 0:18:15.850 Don passed away in twenty sixteen, and then the other 0:18:15.970 --> 0:18:20.810 name is I think it's pronounced Sheila has not passed away. 0:18:21.330 --> 0:18:24.489 So Pax assumes that Sheila is Don's widow. 0:18:24.609 --> 0:18:25.570 Uh huh. 0:18:25.609 --> 0:18:27.729 And even though now he knows that it's foot to 0:18:27.850 --> 0:18:30.729 fall and not foot to ball, like knowing what it 0:18:30.810 --> 0:18:34.009 says really hasn't made him any less curious about it, 0:18:34.050 --> 0:18:36.929 because now his question is like, well, why did Don 0:18:37.250 --> 0:18:39.249 choose this? Like why was this the thing that he 0:18:39.290 --> 0:18:44.169 wanted to impart as his final message? And Pax wants 0:18:44.209 --> 0:18:47.570 to ask Sheila about it, but he's kind of afraid 0:18:47.609 --> 0:18:48.169 to do it. 0:18:48.570 --> 0:18:51.210 Right, I mean that's kind of an awkward call. 0:18:51.649 --> 0:18:53.970 Yeah, right, So like, so I decided I would reach 0:18:53.970 --> 0:18:56.850 out to her, but it was like, this doesn't feel 0:18:56.889 --> 0:18:59.689 like a phone call people make like it. I don't know, 0:18:59.730 --> 0:19:01.289 it just felt like what I'm going to call up 0:19:01.330 --> 0:19:03.770 this grieving woman and be like, someone thought your dead 0:19:03.850 --> 0:19:05.850 husband's gravestone was funny? 0:19:06.730 --> 0:19:06.930 Right? 0:19:07.209 --> 0:19:09.609 And then I had some trouble even getting hold of her, 0:19:09.649 --> 0:19:11.490 Like I called a few phone numbers that I really 0:19:11.530 --> 0:19:14.609 thought were right and they weren't. And then I wrote 0:19:14.609 --> 0:19:16.730 her on Facebook, but it seemed like she hadn't seen 0:19:16.770 --> 0:19:20.129 the message. Uh, And so finally I wrote her this 0:19:20.290 --> 0:19:24.050 letter saying I wanted to talk about Don's gravestone. 0:19:24.129 --> 0:19:26.889 Like a like a handwritten like snail mail. 0:19:27.169 --> 0:19:29.850 Yeah, And Sheila got back to me and said that 0:19:29.929 --> 0:19:36.970 she was up to talk. Well, Hi, it's just Sheila, Yes, Hi, 0:19:37.090 --> 0:19:41.090 it's Telila calling for oh hi. Oh is that a cat? 0:19:41.570 --> 0:19:44.690 Yeah? When he knows I'm on the phone, he has 0:19:44.730 --> 0:19:45.889 to like get in the middle of it. 0:19:47.129 --> 0:19:49.769 I was thinking Don had chosen this quote, but it 0:19:49.810 --> 0:19:53.050 turns out that Sheila chose to quote Oh wow. Don 0:19:53.090 --> 0:19:56.010 had had a chronic illness for a few years before 0:19:56.050 --> 0:19:56.570 his death. 0:19:57.010 --> 0:19:59.850 He didn't want to talk about you know, what to 0:19:59.970 --> 0:20:04.249 do about theuterals or because I'm going to be gone. 0:20:04.330 --> 0:20:07.889 You figured it out, you know, it's like thankful lot, honey. 0:20:08.490 --> 0:20:11.609 After Don died, she chose like the cemetery, which, like 0:20:11.649 --> 0:20:14.369 I said, is this beautiful big cemetery. And she chose 0:20:14.449 --> 0:20:17.090 this like really nice little spot on the nature path 0:20:17.129 --> 0:20:19.530 with like a birdhouse right there and a little bridge 0:20:19.530 --> 0:20:20.290 over some water. 0:20:20.810 --> 0:20:22.929 I knew that he would like it. He also was 0:20:22.970 --> 0:20:26.050 a big bird fan, loved feeding the birds, loved having 0:20:26.490 --> 0:20:30.129 indoor birds, and so I liked the idea of the birdhouse. 0:20:31.050 --> 0:20:33.009 There were a lot of reasons I liked that spot. 0:20:34.090 --> 0:20:38.050 She chose for the headstone like a natural boulder, so 0:20:38.129 --> 0:20:40.169 that's why it was kind of modeled in that way, 0:20:40.570 --> 0:20:43.129 because it's just like a rock. So she has to 0:20:43.129 --> 0:20:46.690 decide what to put on the stone, and she asks 0:20:46.770 --> 0:20:49.649 her friend, who's a poet, to send some suggestions, and 0:20:49.730 --> 0:20:52.290 her friend just sends this long list for she let 0:20:52.330 --> 0:20:53.850 to pick from quotes from. 0:20:53.730 --> 0:20:57.209 Novels, quotes from poems, quotes from rock and roll songs 0:20:57.250 --> 0:20:59.450 like John Lennon and stuff like that. But the one 0:20:59.490 --> 0:21:02.889 that I've picked actually is from a novel called The 0:21:03.010 --> 0:21:07.369 Smoke Jumper, and it's by Nicholas Evans. The inscription says, 0:21:07.449 --> 0:21:11.249 listen for my footfall and your heart. I am not gone, 0:21:11.250 --> 0:21:12.729 but simply walk within you. 0:21:13.570 --> 0:21:16.050 I was a little bit nervous to be like, well, 0:21:16.090 --> 0:21:18.449 he thought it said football like that, that would be 0:21:18.570 --> 0:21:22.369 just like totally disrespectful. But she didn't take it that way. 0:21:22.810 --> 0:21:23.649 Oh that's great. 0:21:25.290 --> 0:21:27.970 Do you think he would have sounded entertaining to think 0:21:28.010 --> 0:21:29.130 of it being football? 0:21:29.290 --> 0:21:29.409 Oh? 0:21:29.490 --> 0:21:31.609 Yeah, I think he would have thought that was this hilarious. 0:21:31.770 --> 0:21:32.490 Yeah. 0:21:32.609 --> 0:21:36.729 He loved telling jokes, you know, dirty jokes and funny 0:21:36.810 --> 0:21:40.209 jokes and stupid jokes, dad jokes. He always got to 0:21:40.330 --> 0:21:43.529 kick out of making people laugh. Sometimes I was I 0:21:43.570 --> 0:21:46.169 would be shushing him because I was thinking he'd be 0:21:46.250 --> 0:21:49.810 telling inappropriate jokes and mixed company or with little kids around, 0:21:49.850 --> 0:21:52.330 and he didn't care about that stuff. He wasn't much 0:21:52.330 --> 0:21:55.530 of a rule follower, faked his way into the army. 0:21:55.570 --> 0:21:57.649 He's blind in one eye, but he memorized that I 0:21:57.850 --> 0:21:58.850 charged to get into the army. 0:21:58.929 --> 0:22:02.090 Oh really, Yeah? 0:22:02.129 --> 0:22:05.009 How how long were you guys married for? And how 0:22:05.050 --> 0:22:05.929 did you meet? 0:22:07.010 --> 0:22:11.369 We were married for almost forty one years. He died 0:22:11.970 --> 0:22:13.570 the week before our anniversary. 0:22:14.770 --> 0:22:18.050 They initially met at this deli where Don worked, and 0:22:18.090 --> 0:22:20.570 he saw her across the room and decided that he 0:22:20.609 --> 0:22:22.370 wanted to go out with her, and. 0:22:23.169 --> 0:22:26.409 We went out that same week and got married six 0:22:26.409 --> 0:22:31.449 weeks later. Wow, that's shack to everybody. Of course, you know, 0:22:31.490 --> 0:22:34.729 we got all the usual. You know, that's not a 0:22:34.730 --> 0:22:37.169 good idea. You guys aren't going to stay married. You 0:22:37.209 --> 0:22:39.570