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Speaker 1: When I reach that point in a race where everything

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Speaker 1: feels like it's on fire and my legs are stiff

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Speaker 1: and or going numb, I just kind of tell myself

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Speaker 1: like I've arrived, like I've gotten to that point where

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Speaker 1: I am pushing my absolute limits. I'm pushing the boundaries,

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Speaker 1: and I get to use this as a chance to

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Speaker 1: see what I'm really made of.

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Speaker 2: What's going on? Emily Abadi.

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Speaker 3: Here you are listening to episode two hundred and forty

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Speaker 3: four of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I talk

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Speaker 3: to inspirational people about everything from their highest ties and

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Speaker 3: toughest moments to essential tips on how to live a healthier, happier,

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Speaker 3: more motivated life. We all go through our fair share

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Speaker 3: of hurdles. My goal through these discussions is to empower

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Speaker 3: you to better navigate yours and move within tension so

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Speaker 3: that you can stride towards your own big potential and

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Speaker 3: of course have some fun along the way. For today's episode,

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Speaker 3: I am so stoked to bring you my conversation with

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Speaker 3: Jesse Diggins.

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Speaker 2: She is the most decorated cross country skier.

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Speaker 3: In US history, not to mention a three time Olympic medalist,

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Speaker 3: Little Mic Drop there and honestly such a phenomenal human being.

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Speaker 2: Fresh off of her recent World Cup.

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Speaker 3: When Jesse and I talk about what it's been like

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Speaker 3: for her training in Italy just under a year out

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Speaker 3: from the twenty twenty six Olympic Games, Jesse gives us

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Speaker 3: some color on what it's like to train and compete

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Speaker 3: at her level and the sacrifices that it requires. And

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Speaker 3: I also cannot appreciate her vulnerability and openness enough when

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Speaker 3: it comes to talking about her history with disorder eating.

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Speaker 3: I want to make sure that I disclaim that right

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Speaker 3: up front. We do talk a fair amount about her

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Speaker 3: eating disorder history in today's episode, and there is not

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Speaker 3: a doubt in my mind that her openness can help

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Speaker 3: so many who have either struggled with something similar or

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Speaker 3: maybe going through it right now. Jesse gets really transparent

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Speaker 3: about the hurdles that she overcame in opening up to

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Speaker 3: her care team to get the help that she needed,

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Speaker 3: and how she converses with her inner critic, something that

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Speaker 3: we can all relate to on the regular. Within seconds

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Speaker 3: of listening to Jesse talk, you will be able to

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Speaker 3: hear her optimism and positivity, and I ask her, what

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Speaker 3: does she do on the days that she doesn't feel

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Speaker 3: so excited and shiny and bright, how does she still

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Speaker 3: show up to both perform at her best and stay

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Speaker 3: kind to herself? Love, love, love this conversation. Please, if

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Speaker 3: you love it, to leave a review over wherever you're

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Speaker 3: listening to this podcast, whether that be in Apple Podcasts

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Speaker 3: or over on Spotify. And this is really important. If

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Speaker 3: you are not subscribed to Hurdle. Wherever you are listening

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Speaker 3: to this podcast, do meet a solid and slam that

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Speaker 3: subscribe button right now. It helps the show get more eyes,

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Speaker 3: more ears, and that is a big part of what

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Speaker 3: helps me keep on keeping on with what we're doing

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Speaker 3: over here. Make sure you are following along with the

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Speaker 3: show over on social and is at Hurdle podcast. I

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Speaker 3: Emily am over at Emily a Body and got to

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Speaker 3: give some love to our Daily Hurdle Instagram channel. I'm

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Speaker 3: having so much fun programming this and hearing from all

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Speaker 3: of you over there. The link to subscribe to that

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Speaker 3: to get so much of the same inspiration and motivation

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Speaker 3: you love from the show directly in your DMS every

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Speaker 3: day is in the show notes. Last little call out here,

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Speaker 3: got to give some love to the weekly Hurdle newsletter.

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Speaker 3: It's our substack that comes out every Friday. The link

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Speaker 3: to subscribe to that also in the show notes. With that,

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Speaker 3: let's get to it. Let's get to hurdling.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Jesse Diggins. She's a pro

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Speaker 3: cross country skier. She's also the author of a book,

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Speaker 3: Brave Enough. We are a year out from the Winter Olympics.

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Speaker 3: I am hyped to.

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Speaker 2: Have you here.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: I'm hyped too, Jesse Diggins, Welcome to hurdle. How are

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Speaker 2: you doing today?

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Speaker 1: I am good. Well, to be honest, I'm a little

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Speaker 1: bit tired because I've been pushing really hard in training,

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Speaker 1: so today is a little more of arrest and recovery day.

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Speaker 1: But overall I'm super hyped. And that's part of the

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Speaker 1: fun part of this build up for the World Championships,

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Speaker 1: right is that you get to dig pretty deep and

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Speaker 1: push pretty hard.

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Speaker 3: We will talk about your affinity for digging deep in

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Speaker 3: just a bit, but I would be remiss if I

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Speaker 3: didn't highlight right now that you're also fresh off of

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Speaker 3: your twenty six individual World Cup win.

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Speaker 1: I feel like every single time I see it as

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Speaker 1: such a cool and fun, unique event, because I think

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Speaker 1: the second you start taking it for granted is when

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Speaker 1: you lose some of the magic.

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Speaker 3: You're right now, sitting in Italy, I have jealousy through

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Speaker 3: the roof.

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Speaker 2: How does it feel to be in Italy right now? Well?

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Speaker 1: I love Italy. This has kind of become one of

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Speaker 1: my homes on the road, and I just feel so

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Speaker 1: comfortable here. I love the mountains just I feel like

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Speaker 1: just walking around and looking at these jagged peaks of

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Speaker 1: the Dolomites, I feel like my soul is just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm a home, Like this is great, and the people

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Speaker 1: are so nice too. I've been making friends and meeting

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Speaker 1: new people and it's just been a really awesome place

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Speaker 1: so I spend I've been spending a lot of time

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Speaker 1: in Italy this year, and I've been really happy about that.

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Speaker 3: Not a bad place to be. Do you get to

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Speaker 3: travel with your husband as well?

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Speaker 1: Not as much as we would love. He does not

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Speaker 1: get quite as much flexibility with his job and he

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Speaker 1: can't really work from home. But he did get to

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Speaker 1: come over to Italy after the tour to ski and

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Speaker 1: we had a training camp in Lavigno and that was

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Speaker 1: really really fun because we've got to ski together, which

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Speaker 1: is pretty rare for us. We don't often get to

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Speaker 1: actually ski together.

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Speaker 2: That's so special.

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Speaker 3: And also I would be remiss if I didn't say,

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Speaker 3: with a year out from the Olympics and them also

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Speaker 3: being in Italy, is there a certain feeling in the

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Speaker 3: air already, I.

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Speaker 1: Would say so.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So skiing around Pasolovatsa, Like, first of all, it's so

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Speaker 1: cool skeing. How many people are just out there on

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Speaker 1: the trail skiing, like people training for the Marcia Langa,

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Speaker 1: which I guess that already happened, but now they're training

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Speaker 1: for the Vosslo but people training for everything, and then

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Speaker 1: people just out there having fun and just you know,

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Speaker 1: stopping for a cappuccino after their ski and just enjoying

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Speaker 1: being out in the mountains. And when I'm out they're skiing.

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Speaker 1: I've had so many people stop me to say like

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Speaker 1: good luck, Like I'm excited to cheer for you, I'm

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Speaker 1: so psyched to watch you race. I love watching skiing,

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Speaker 1: and it's just been so cool because I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm absorbing all of this positive energy and so yeah

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Speaker 1: people are.

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Speaker 3: It's so it always makes me giggle a little bit

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Speaker 3: hearing something like and people stop me because obviously, without

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Speaker 3: all of the gear on, you certainly could be a

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Speaker 3: recognizable person, but with all of the gearon, to get

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Speaker 3: stopped it makes me giggle.

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Speaker 1: It's definitely a new thing for me in the last

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Speaker 1: couple of years because cross country skiing it is super

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Speaker 1: big over in Europe, and it's super big in Scandinavia,

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Speaker 1: right like Norway's weedn't feel like it is a major sport,

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Speaker 1: but in the US it's been growing, for sure, but

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Speaker 1: it's never been like one of the big sports, right

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Speaker 1: And so you have total anonymity when you're training at home,

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Speaker 1: which is which is really cool. You're just very very normal,

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like such an average person in every

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Speaker 1: way and that's wonderful. And then coming over here having

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Speaker 1: people recognize me on the trail, I still kind of

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Speaker 1: do this double take, like how do you know why.

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Speaker 1: It's very humbling and it is super fodding, and it

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Speaker 1: also makes me sometimes be like, oh my gosh, like

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Speaker 1: I don't think I deserve this praise from these strangers.

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Speaker 3: Well, you are an Olympic medalist and a world champion,

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Speaker 3: and I was doing my Jesse Diggins research and you

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Speaker 3: talk about what makes you an extraordinary athlete, and it's

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Speaker 3: not as in your words and outrageous vo two max

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Speaker 3: or any specific crazy athletic ability, but rather your affinity

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Speaker 3: for struggling.

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Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about why you like

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Speaker 2: to struggle, Jesse.

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Speaker 1: I know it's funny. If I could pick for myself

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Speaker 1: any sort of strength, it wouldn't be that. But like

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Speaker 1: I wish I just had beautiful technique, it does not

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Speaker 1: come naturally to me, and I I'm not super powerful.

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Speaker 1: I don't have incredible fast twitch muscles like I just

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Speaker 1: I physically, I feel like I'm just quite average. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: my particular strength is being able to shake hands with

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Speaker 1: pain and figure out a way to move through the

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Speaker 1: pain and embrace it in a race since instead of

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Speaker 1: it shutting me down. I kind of I guess I

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Speaker 1: would say when I reach that point in a race

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Speaker 1: where everything feels like it's on fire and my legs

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Speaker 1: are stiff and or going numb, I just kind of

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Speaker 1: tell myself like I've arrived, like I've gotten to that

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Speaker 1: point where I am pushing my absolute limits. I'm pushing

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Speaker 1: the boundaries, and I get to use this as a

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Speaker 1: chance to see what I'm really made of how gritty

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Speaker 1: can I get, how tough can I be? How how

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Speaker 1: far am I willing to go for this race, for

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Speaker 1: my team, for whatever it is that I'm racing for

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Speaker 1: right now. And I think for me that is like

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Speaker 1: an opportunity, and that's why it has turned into a

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Speaker 1: strength since out of being scared of it hurting. I

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Speaker 1: see it as this kind of this gift of getting

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Speaker 1: to learn something about myself. But it's hard to learn

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Speaker 1: any other way.

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Speaker 3: This gift of being able to lean into the hurt

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Speaker 3: in practice. What does the hurt look and feel like

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Speaker 3: in your body when it's happening.

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Speaker 1: So this is where people are gonna think I'm nuts.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes my legs go numb, like up to my waist.

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Speaker 1: But first they feel really stiff, which is a pretty

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Speaker 1: common feeling, like that lactic acid building. Your muscles are

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Speaker 1: getting stiffer. But everything also feels like it's kind of burning,

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Speaker 1: like my lungs are burning, and it feels like it's

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Speaker 1: hard to stand up straight and get a deep breath.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes my vision tints usually a little bit pink,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes a little bit yellow, and sometimes the like

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Speaker 1: the volume dial gets turned down, So I'm not hearing

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Speaker 1: things quite the same anymore. And then recently also sometimes

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Speaker 1: it feels like my teeth are buzzing, which is a

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Speaker 1: very weird feeling, like like I literally am feeling the

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Speaker 1: lactic acid in my teeth like it's everywhere. And then

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Speaker 1: when I crossed the finish line, I'm also kind of

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Speaker 1: known for like collapsing in the snow and staying down

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Speaker 1: for a little while. And I'm not trying to be dramatic.

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Speaker 1: It's not on purpose. It's because when I'm laying there,

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Speaker 1: it feels like everything's spinning, like you know when you

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Speaker 1: have too much to drink. Then you lay down and

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Speaker 1: you're like, whoa, I can't get up right now. Everything's

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Speaker 1: spinning around me. That's what it feels like. So sometimes

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Speaker 1: it feels like I'm holding onto the snow to kind

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Speaker 1: of center myself, and I'm like, I am not gonna

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Speaker 1: get up right now because I do, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: stagger around and fall back down. It's not going to

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Speaker 1: be pretty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So do you have a recollection of when you

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Speaker 3: first experienced all of these sensations and we're able to

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Speaker 3: push through it, learning that pushing through it was possible?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a team relay, which makes sense because

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Speaker 1: for years, years and years, my best races were always relays,

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Speaker 1: and for whatever reason, I felt like it wasn't okay

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Speaker 1: for me to care enough about my own races, but

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Speaker 1: when I was racing for my teammates, I would turn

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Speaker 1: myself inside out and have my best performances ever. And

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Speaker 1: so back in high school, we had I think it

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Speaker 1: was a pretty casual weekend relay, like it wasn't It

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Speaker 1: wasn't for all the marbles or anything. But I was

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Speaker 1: anchoring my team and we were a little bit behind,

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Speaker 1: and I was told like, all right, you just have

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Speaker 1: to catch this one girl from I think it was

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Speaker 1: like Forest Lake High School or Roseville or one of

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Speaker 1: the teams that we competed against a lot. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh great, But we had one hundred and

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Speaker 1: twenty kids on our high school team, and so did

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Speaker 1: a lot of the other teams, and so there were

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Speaker 1: like twenty teams out there. So I'd look up the

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Speaker 1: hill and see a girl in the suit that I

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Speaker 1: thought I had to catch, and as soon as I

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Speaker 1: catch her, I'd look up and see another girl, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, my gosh, which one was I

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Speaker 1: supposed to catch, and so in my head, I forgot

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Speaker 1: about what team it was of supposed to catch, and

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Speaker 1: I just kept trying to chase down every single person

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Speaker 1: in front of me, just in case that was the

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Speaker 1: one person I was supposed to pass. And I just

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Speaker 1: got so focused on the task and so in the

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Speaker 1: zone that I started ignoring all the warning signs that

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Speaker 1: you normally feel.

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Speaker 2: In your body.

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Speaker 1: That's like WHOA, time to slow down, Like you're pushing

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Speaker 1: really hard, this kind of hurts, and I just kept

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Speaker 1: pushing and pushing through it. And when I crossed the

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Speaker 1: finish line, I had not only passed the girl, but

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Speaker 1: we had won the relay by a lot. But I

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Speaker 1: thought I was going to die. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: can't breathe, I can't move, I'm in so much pain.

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Speaker 1: But then after thirty forty five seconds, I got up

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Speaker 1: and I was like whoa, Like that didn't kill me.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay, Holy crap, Like I think I've just unlocked

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Speaker 1: this next level of racing. Like I had this massive

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Speaker 1: light bulb moment, like, oh my god, this level has

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Speaker 1: been there the whole time. I just didn't have the

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Speaker 1: motivation to go there until now now that I figured

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Speaker 1: it out and unlocked, Like I can get so much

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Speaker 1: more out of my body if I'm willing to go

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Speaker 1: that far into the pain cave and really empty the

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Speaker 1: tank all the way. And so that kind of was

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Speaker 1: this like Wow, this is an amazing discovery. And also

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Speaker 1: it was like, oh no, now I know what I

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Speaker 1: have to do every time I really want to race

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Speaker 1: really hard and get everything out of myself, Like, oh no.

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Speaker 3: How has this realization translated across the rest.

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Speaker 2: Of your life beyond sport.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's where it's kind of interesting, because this ability

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Speaker 1: to push through pain is really really great as a

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Speaker 1: professional endurance athlete, right, But in the rest of my life,

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Speaker 1: the ability to just keep pushing through pain and ignore

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Speaker 1: warning signs has actually been quite a liability. I had

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Speaker 1: an eating disorder when I was eighteen nineteen years old,

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Speaker 1: and I went to the Emily program for professional treatment

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Speaker 1: and got better and learned so much about myself, and

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Speaker 1: then I had a relapse about a year and a

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Speaker 1: half ago, and I realized that a big part of

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Speaker 1: why I relapsed was because I was too good at

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Speaker 1: pushing through discomfort. Like in my personal life, I was

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Speaker 1: getting overwhelmed. I was doing way too much. I was

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Speaker 1: working myself too hard, just a little bit, but all

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Speaker 1: the time for about six years, and it was building

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Speaker 1: and building, and I just kept pushing through it, like no,

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Speaker 1: I'm tough, I'm gritty, I got this, I can do it.

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Speaker 1: And so I took that mentality that is great in

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Speaker 1: races and put it into my personal life and started

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Speaker 1: kind of tearing myself apart because I was too good

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Speaker 1: at being in pain. And so I feel like this

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Speaker 1: is something that a lot of endurance athletes and people

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Speaker 1: in general can struggle with. It's like, where's the line

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Speaker 1: between acceptable pain for a very defined amount of time

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Speaker 1: where there is a clear finish line, and where is

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Speaker 1: the line where it's like this is unacceptable, Like it's

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Speaker 1: not okay to be hurting for this amount of time

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Speaker 1: and in your normal life.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for sharing that.

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Speaker 3: I'm so curious to know what the differences were for

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Speaker 3: you from your first about with your ED to your

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Speaker 3: relapse a year and a half ago, knowing a year

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Speaker 3: and a half ago that there were certain tools accessible

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Speaker 3: in your toolbox that you didn't have when you were

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Speaker 3: a teenager.

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Speaker 1: Exactly because when I was a teenager, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: anything about eating disorders beyond like your very basic like

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Speaker 1: eighth grade health class unit. And so from that, I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, so eating disorders are apparently a

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Speaker 1: behavioral choice and it's your fault and it's a problem,

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Speaker 1: and this only affects rich, skinny, white teenage women and

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Speaker 1: nobody else, like right, Like that's what I thought I

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Speaker 1: knew about it, which.

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Speaker 2: Was completely wrong.

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Speaker 1: All those things are basically the opposite. Eating disorders can

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Speaker 1: affect anyone at any stage of life. It's not a

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Speaker 1: behavioral choice, it's the way your brain is wired. And

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Speaker 1: nobody asks for this, and it's okay to need help,

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Speaker 1: like you do deserve help, that's okay. And so I

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Speaker 1: didn't know that the first time. So I was basically

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Speaker 1: drowning in my own guilt and shame and feelings of confusion,

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Speaker 1: like I'm a good kid, I got a's in school,

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Speaker 1: I'm smart, I'm capable. Why can't I figure this out?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: Like I figured, like, oh, I should be able to

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Speaker 1: just work hard and solve this on my own. And

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Speaker 1: I didn't really understand that it's okay to lean on

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Speaker 1: professionals who have had training in eating disorders. Who are

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Speaker 1: you know, therapists who are there to help you figure

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Speaker 1: out what's going on in your brain. And that's the

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Speaker 1: you know, smoothest path towards recovery and like truly healing

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Speaker 1: from this. So I also learned that my eating disorder

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Speaker 1: wasn't really about food at all. It was about control

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Speaker 1: and perfectionism. So kind of hand in hand with that

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Speaker 1: tendency to just push and push and push and try to,

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Speaker 1: you know, and be okay with pushing through pain, I'm

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Speaker 1: also pretty type A and I love feeling like I'm

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Speaker 1: in control of me. And if I felt like my

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Speaker 1: life was out of control, my eating disorder came in

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Speaker 1: kind of as a crutch, like a coping mechanism, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can give you control, And of course that's also

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Speaker 1: not true, like the eating disorder ends up controlling you.

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Speaker 1: You're not really in control, but in the moment you

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Speaker 1: feel like, well, food in my body is the one

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Speaker 1: thing I can hold on to so tightly and have

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Speaker 1: control over when I feel like everything else is chaos

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Speaker 1: and I'm not you know, I'm trying to be perfect

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Speaker 1: and I'm not perfect, and you're eating disorder comes in

356
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Speaker 1: and goes well, I can make you perfect, So it

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Speaker 1: was just kind of this trap of thinking. And the

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Speaker 1: second time when I relapsed, I realized, A, I need

359
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 1: to not let this be a secret, like right away,

360
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 1: I need to tell my sports psychologists, who I'd worked

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00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,360
Speaker 1: with since I was nineteen, so she knew my whole history.

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Speaker 1: Were very close and we had spent years and years

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Speaker 1: building up a strong safety net so in case this

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Speaker 1: ever happened, I could fall back on that. And I

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Speaker 1: told my husband, told my parents, told my coach, told

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Speaker 1: my teammates, and I was instead of being met with

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Speaker 1: you know, skepticism or being shut out or being blocked out,

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00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 1: I was met with love. And that was so incredible

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Speaker 1: for me to feel just unconditionally accepted, like we still

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00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 1: think you're a good person. We're really sorry that you're

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Speaker 1: dealing with this. How can we help you, Like we

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00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,360
Speaker 1: know we can't fix it for you, that it's why

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Speaker 1: you have the professionals, but we just want to support you.

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Speaker 1: And that was amazing. So I think all of these

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Speaker 1: fears that if I told somebody that I was struggling,

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Speaker 1: if I told someone I wasn't perfect, that they would

377
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: reject me, Like none of those fears came true.

378
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

379
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 3: Again, thank you for sharing that. How long was it

380
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 3: before you spoke to people about what you were experiencing

381
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Speaker 3: in this relapse?

382
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, because the first time it was months.

383
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 1: I couldn't even admit it to myself, let alone even

384
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: think about telling my parents, who are, like, you know,

385
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 1: unconditionally they have to love you. You're their child, and

386
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 1: so like, I couldn't even admit it to myself, much

387
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: less to them. But the second time, it was I

388
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Speaker 1: don't know, a matter of just a couple of weeks

389
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 1: where I was like, okay, this is okay, I recognize

390
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,199
Speaker 1: what's happening. This is happening again, and I realized I

391
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 1: need to shut this down because I know myself and

392
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 1: I know how quickly something like this can spiral.

393
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Speaker 3: Yeah, totally understandable. And you mentioned this desire for control.

394
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Speaker 3: Also curious if there was anything specifically that was occurring

395
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 3: that was triggering this desire in you when this happened.

396
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's probably a bunch of things combined.

397
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Speaker 1: But I think this had been building for a very

398
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Speaker 1: long time. And so after the twenty eighteen Olympics, when

399
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 1: Keigan and I won the gold medal, I kind of

400
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: overnight our lives changed and it was exciting and wonderful

401
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 1: and scary and overwhelming all at once. And also I

402
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: kind of became the face of us skiing from then

403
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 1: on and had more more asks of me. And I'm

404
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 1: a yes person. I really struggle with saying no. And

405
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 1: I also wanted to do everything. You know, this sport

406
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 1: has given me so much. I wanted to give back

407
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 1: in every way that I could. And that's great, but

408
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 1: there have to be boundaries, there have to be limits,

409
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: and I was not setting limits for myself, and I

410
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: just was not good at recognizing, like you are pushing

411
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: too hard, you're doing too much, and I slowly was

412
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 1: overworking myself and to the point where, like I looked

413
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: back on before my relapse, I looked at my like planner,

414
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 1: like I like to write things down physically in a log.

415
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: And I had a week where it was like five

416
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: different interviews, a couple different podcasts, a board meeting, and

417
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: something else on top of double training every day, and

418
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Speaker 1: it was like that's too much, Like that is too

419
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 1: much for anyone, but it was definitely too much for

420
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Speaker 1: me in that moment. And so looking back, I think

421
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: I was just overworking myself and overriding it, and so

422
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: my eating disorder kind of came back as this kind

423
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: of final warning sign, like, hey, you haven't been listening.

424
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Speaker 1: You've been ignoring everything. Your brain's been telling you to

425
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,159
Speaker 1: slow down. This is the one thing you will listen to.

426
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: And so my eating disorder kind of came in to

427
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: bench me and say, like, stop it. You have to

428
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 1: slow down, You have to rest, You have to take

429
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 1: care of your soul and what you actually need in

430
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: order to be a complete, full person right now. And so,

431
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 1: even though my eating disorder has not been a good

432
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: thing in my life, it has been a functional warning

433
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 1: system in a way, like I'm trying to not see

434
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: it as only a bad thing. In a way, my

435
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: eating disorder has been something that's taught me you have

436
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: to stop. Because if it hadn't come back, I probably

437
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 1: would have kept going like that for years and years

438
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: and years, and I would have become deeply unhappy. And

439
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: now I'm a happy and healthy version of my because

440
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: I was forced to kind of come to terms with

441
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: what I was doing.

442
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 3: You mentioned the bravery that went into owning up to

443
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 3: what you were going for your experiencing and then talking

444
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 3: to your teammates and your family and your sports psych

445
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 3: and so many individuals in the act of that. How

446
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 3: did that make you feel at first versus how did

447
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 3: that make you feel a week later after you told

448
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 3: all of them.

449
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the moment, I was just like sweating uncontrollably

450
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 1: because I was so nervous, like, man, like, you know,

451
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: there's still and it's not that I don't completely love

452
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: and trust all these people in my life, but I

453
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: think there's that part of your brain that says you

454
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: are so unlovable for this, like how could anyone love

455
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: you when you are doing this to yourself? And that

456
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: is really scary. So to trust everyone that I told,

457
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 1: to trust that they wouldn't shut me out and say, no,

458
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: we still love you, don't worry, we still have you

459
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: here like that, it was really scary. And so I

460
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: think in the moment it was terrifying. But then not

461
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: even a week later, I would say, an hour later,

462
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so silly for being scared to

463
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 1: tell them, Like I'm so glad I did. And I mean,

464
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: it's not that I'm silly. Those fears are valid, but

465
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: everyone I told was so supportive and yeah, so kind,

466
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: and yeah, I'm so glad that I reached out for help.

467
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that you reached out and to your point,

468
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 3: not silly, but understandably so feeling a little foolish. It's

469
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 3: as though you think to yourself, I've been here before,

470
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 3: I should know better.

471
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 2: And it's not that you don't know better.

472
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,879
Speaker 3: It's bigger than you, right, It is all consuming, and

473
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 3: so to do the best you can with what you

474
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 3: have in any given moment, each moment is going to

475
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 3: look different than the last, and so you took it

476
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 3: upon yourself to do a very brave thing and move

477
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 3: forward in the way that was best for you.

478
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:03,239
Speaker 2: Thank you.

479
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I think that's my biggest message for people,

480
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: is that it's so terrifying to need to ask for

481
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: help when it's something big and when it's something personal,

482
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: and it can be so scary because we're worried that

483
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: we're going to be rejected or shut out, or people

484
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: won't look at us the same way anymore. And none

485
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 1: of those things have happened to me either time that

486
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: I told people, and I stood up told the whole world,

487
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 1: and nobody looks at me differently, And so I think

488
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: it's even though it's so so scary to take that

489
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: step to ask for help, Like that is the biggest

490
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 1: hurdle that you have to get over, and once you

491
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: get over that, everything from there can flow a little

492
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: bit easier because you have people on your side who

493
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: have your back, who are helping you out.

494
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 2: You mentioned telling the whole world.

495
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 3: How is that different than telling the people that know

496
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: you in your heart specifically?

497
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a whole other conversation because I, yeah,

498
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 1: I told all the people who are part of you

499
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 1: know what I would call my care team, like everyone

500
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: I know cares about me and who is helping me

501
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: and supporting me. And I knew that, you know, they

502
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: were going to respect my privacy and let me tell

503
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: people if I wanted to. And the first time I

504
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 1: told everyone it was in a past tense. You know,

505
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 1: it wasn't actively while I was in recovery. It was, Hey,

506
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: you know, six seven years ago I struggled with this,

507
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: and I think it's important for me to talk about

508
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: because I wanted people to see that you can be

509
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 1: imperfect and need help with something and still get healthy

510
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: and get better and reach your goals. Like it's okay

511
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: if you're struggling with something, you don't have to be perfect.

512
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: There was a lot of discussions of like, should you

513
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 1: just focus on yourself right now, because you don't need

514
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: to you don't, You don't You've given people enough, you

515
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 1: don't need to help anymore. But I I felt like

516
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: I did want to tell people because it's been my

517
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: way this whole time is to be super vulnerable and

518
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: to open and I wanted people to know like, if

519
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: you have a relapse, you haven't failed, because that's how

520
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 1: I felt when I first started using the sentence of

521
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 1: my eating disorder again. My first thought was, oh my god,

522
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 1: I'm such a failure. Like I thought I was past this.

523
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 1: I thought I was better than this. I thought I

524
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: had grown and learned, So how could I be here again?

525
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: And in hindsight, well, yeah, of course I could be

526
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 1: there again. Like I was completely overwhelmed. But in the moment,

527
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: it seemed like such a surprize and I was so

528
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: caught off guard by my eating disorder, and I felt

529
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: so yeah, I felt like I had failed until I

530
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: took a step back and went, wait a minute, this

531
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: does not you know, you're allowed to ask for help

532
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: at any point in your life. It's not like you

533
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: get one call for help and that's it. Like you

534
00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: are allowed to struggle multiple times, that's okay. And so

535
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: I felt like it was important for me to share that,

536
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: and the feedback that I've gotten from people has made

537
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: me very glad that I did, because I'm not the

538
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 1: only person who has had a relapse of something, whether

539
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: or not it's mental health or a relapse with drug abuse, alcoholism,

540
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 1: whatever it is, it's you know, sometimes you slip up

541
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: and you need another chance and that's okay.

542
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's okay. Again, Thank you so much for sharing

543
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: so much about this. I really believe that it is

544
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: through this vulnerability that we have an opportunity to help, right,

545
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 3: But there is such an importance on being vulnerable when

546
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 3: you are ready to be vulnerable. I once had someone

547
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 3: on the show that said, be careful that the sword

548
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 3: that you use to help others isn't the one that

549
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 3: you fall on. So you had this big understanding of Okay,

550
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,479
Speaker 3: I'll know when I'm ready to talk about it, and

551
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 3: when I do, you did it on your own terms.

552
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 3: I loved what you recently put on Instagram. You were

553
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 3: talking and sharing the comparison between going through a physical

554
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 3: injury and also healing through and eating disorder. Can you

555
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 3: talk to us a little bit about the parallels between

556
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: the two.

557
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

558
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And before I do, I just want to reiterate

559
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: what you said, like, no one should feel pressure to

560
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: share beyond their care team unless they are ready, because

561
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: it is something that you can't take back once you

562
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: put it out there. And I don't have any regrets,

563
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 1: but that might be unique to my person and my personality.

564
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: So I'm really glad you reiterated that because that's really important.

565
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: But yeah, So what I have been thinking a lot

566
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: about recently is how similar a physical injury is to

567
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: a mental injury, because once I learned that, I shouldn't

568
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: need to feel shame attached to my eating disorder just

569
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: the same way like with my current injury, which is

570
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 1: a partial rupture of the planter fashion in the bottom

571
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 1: of my foot down by wear it attaches to my

572
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: heel bone, Like, I don't feel any shame about that.

573
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: I can tell anyone like, you know, like, oh, hey,

574
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 1: how's your foot going, I'm like great, thanks, I'm working

575
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: on it. Like it's healing and it's not a secret,

576
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: it's not weird, it's not hard to talk about. It's like, yeah,

577
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 1: this is this painful thing that I'm working on going

578
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: through and the timeline isn't super defined. And I was like, wow,

579
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 1: that's just like an eating disorder, Like no one can

580
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: see the injury in my foot, it's invisible, it's on

581
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: the inside, and there isn't an exact timeline. Like everyone

582
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: heals differently, and what everyone can do while they're healing

583
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: is different. Like I might be able to do these

584
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: sort of modes of training, but not these different kinds

585
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: of training modes, and that's unique to me and it

586
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: shouldn't be compared to anybody else. And I also am

587
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: leaning on the medical professionals to help me out with

588
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: my foot. You know, even though I am a strong,

589
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: capable woman, I don't need to heal my own foot.

590
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: It's okay for me to ask for help. And the

591
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: same with my eating disorder. So yeah, I've just found

592
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: that there's so many different parallels here, and it's taught

593
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: me patients in both realms.

594
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 2: I think, is it planter fascis stuff. The worst.

595
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 3: Wild a tear is very different than standard planter fascy iteas,

596
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 3: But it is the injury that just keeps on giving.

597
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: It really is And you know what's interesting is when

598
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,479
Speaker 1: I shared with people like, hey, here's what's going on

599
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: with my foot, I had so many people reach out

600
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: to the point where I was like, wait, does everyone

601
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: in the world have plantar fasci itis, Like I think everyone.

602
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: It's like, it's a very relatable injury. There, I know

603
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: what that feels like.

604
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 2: Yes, I know what that feels like too.

605
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: I feel like I've dealt with it on and off

606
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 3: for like the past ten years.

607
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 2: Right now we're in like a chill phase.

608
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: But I can really sympathize with how frustrating it is

609
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: and this idea that you have no timeline, there is

610
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,959
Speaker 3: no this is exactly how long it's going to be

611
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 3: not feeling your best for It's almost as though with

612
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 3: planter fasci itis that sometimes, at least from my own experience,

613
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 3: I almost wish that I broke something because then I

614
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 3: had a clear indication of how long I'd be down

615
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 3: and out.

616
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. I feel like in my case, I am

617
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: very fortunate because I could keep raising, whereas a stress

618
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: fracture would have been the end of my season. But yeah,

619
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: with a with a stress fractor, like you know, like

620
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: and you can get act ray and be like it's

621
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 1: hailed done, and with this it's it's very nebulous, and

622
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: so that's what's made it very interesting for me.

623
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 3: Oh, very interesting for you also an understandable thing. When

624
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 3: did you start struggling with this bout of planter issues?

625
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: So it came on very quickly, just a couple days

626
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: before the start of the tour to Ski, which was

627
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: twenty eighth, So it came on like right around Christmas time.

628
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: And I think it's because I was doing some training

629
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: runs in new soft snow and I wasn't quite used

630
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,760
Speaker 1: to running on such an unstable surface, and they weren't

631
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: crazy long runs. But for me, my feet have been

632
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: basically my weakest link my entire career. They are just

633
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 1: incredibly delicate and fragile, which is unfortunate. But it came

634
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 1: on really quickly, so within like three days, I was like, Oh,

635
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: I'm not running anymore, that's not happening. And then during

636
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: the tour at some point, which I believe it was

637
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: one of the first classic races because it had been

638
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: painful and uncomfortable, But then after one of these races,

639
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,280
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I was like, I can't walk

640
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 1: this is a new sensation, like it feels like my

641
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: foot is tearing in half. And we didn't know quite

642
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: what was going on, and it wasn't getting worse. It

643
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: was just holding steady. So we determined, like, all right,

644
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 1: it's fine for me to finish the tour if I

645
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: and at that point, and I would say, also, it's

646
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 1: important to acknowledge, like we were working with pets and

647
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: doctors and we were very carefully monitoring, like all right,

648
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 1: this is quite painful, but because it's not continuing to

649
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: get worse, we felt like, all right, it's safe to

650
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: hold steady here, because otherwise there are certain kinds of

651
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: pain that are not okay to race through. And then

652
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: there are other injuries where it's like, well, you can't

653
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: make it worse, so if you want to go ahead,

654
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 1: but and this was the second category, but yeah, it was.

655
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:37,399
Speaker 1: It was incredibly painful, and then after that we got

656
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,479
Speaker 1: the MRI and figure it out like all right, here's

657
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: our game plan. And it's been steadily improving since then.

658
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: But it is it is slow. It is it is

659
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: a day by day situation.

660
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 2: A day by day situation.

661
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 3: So many people that have struggled with the injury regardless

662
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: of what it is, can really feel that. Now, I

663
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 3: would be remiss if I didn't ask you, as a

664
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 3: cross country skier for a little bit of intel for

665
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 3: someone who's unfamiliar with the sport may have an interest

666
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 3: in trying it out. What are three foundational tips for

667
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 3: someone to give cross country skiing a whirl.

668
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: I always tell people sign up for a lesson first,

669
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: because that will make it so much more fun, and

670
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: commit to trying it a couple times, because the learning

671
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: curve is really steep, but it is just really it's challenging,

672
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 1: like it's physically a hard sport, but once you get

673
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 1: some of the technique down, it becomes so fun and

674
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: so enjoyable. So I always tell people like, sign up

675
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 1: for a lesson first, to really focus on the technique

676
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: of it, and then give give it a few tries

677
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: before you really make a judgment about whether or not

678
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: you like it, because usually by the time you give

679
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: it a couple of tries, you're like, oh, this is

680
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: it is so fun being able to glide through the

681
00:36:56,239 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: woods and through fields on these gorgeous trails your own power.

682
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 1: There's something so incredibly empowering about that, and it's really fun.

683
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: But I guess the other thing I would tell people

684
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: is it's a little bit like running in that it

685
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: is what you make it. So yeah, you can go

686
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: out and smash a marathon at record speed, or you

687
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: can go for a job with your friends and it's

688
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: super social and it doesn't have to hurt and it

689
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: can be just fun and like a great workout, and

690
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: cross country skiing is the same way, like it really

691
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: is what you make it and it can be super social.

692
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 3: I know you played a lot of different sports when

693
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 3: you were younger, and at one point you had aspirations

694
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 3: to be a pole vaulter and a hurdler and a

695
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 3: triple jumper.

696
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 2: But what was it that made you choose to stick

697
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 2: with ski?

698
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: I would say the people and the culture. That's what

699
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: really pulled me. And it was just so welcoming and

700
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 1: open and just it was about trying your hardest and

701
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: getting what you could out of yourself in but it

702
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: wasn't just focused on results, and it was just a

703
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: really collaborative team atmosphere and I'm really really grateful for that,

704
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 1: like all the volunteer coaches, all my teammates, all the

705
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 1: people surrounding me in that community, of skiing in the Midwest.

706
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: It was just like a beautiful way to get into

707
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 1: the sport, and it made me just totally fall in

708
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 1: love with it. And then after that, once I started

709
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: racing more for the team, because I was purely focused

710
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: on scoring points for the team, but then I slowly

711
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 1: started to realize, like, oh, I actually like racing, like

712
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: for the sake of racing, and like trying to beat

713
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: the clock on this course, and how fast can I

714
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: take these downhill corners and how you know, how quickly

715
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 1: can I scamper up these hills? And I started to

716
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: really get into the challenge of it too. So I

717
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: think something something about the challenge of the sport really

718
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: spoke to me. And maybe that's because it is so

719
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: different where you know, in track and field, for example,

720
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: you always have times, there are records, you know exactly

721
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: what workout splits. You know, here's my mile split, here's

722
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: my four hundred split, you know, if you're on track

723
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: or not. It's very black and white that way. But

724
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: with cross country skiing, times are basically irrelevant because the

725
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: snow is different and the course is different, and so

726
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: you don't have splits, you don't have records. It's just

727
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: on this day, with this snow, on this course, how

728
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: hard can I go? And I was really drawn to that.

729
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 1: It's just a little bit different.

730
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,479
Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love

731
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 3: to my sponsor at Element.

732
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 2: Y'all, we are on the cusp of spring. Okay. I

733
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 2: know I'm getting ahead of myself a little bit.

734
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 3: But now that the sun is coming out here in

735
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 3: New York at six thirty in the morning, and I

736
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 3: enjoyably walked to the gym yesterday without gloves on, I

737
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 3: am feeling more hyped for the spring of speed and

738
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 3: a summer of training. Van Ever, and I would not

739
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 3: be able to excel the way that I do without

740
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 3: making sure I'm giving my body everything that it needs.

741
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 3: And that is exactly where Element comes in. Element is

742
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 3: an electrolyte drink mix and sparkling water with everything you

743
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,400
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744
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 2: That means no.

745
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 3: Gluten, no fillers, no other dodgy ingredients that you might

746
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 3: find in other conventional sports drengths. Electrolytes are so so important,

747
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 3: that's the biggest understatement, and an electrolyte deficiency or an

748
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 3: imbalance it can cause things like headaches or cramps, fatigue,

749
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 3: brain fog, and weakness. And in twenty twenty five we

750
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 3: are going after our big goals and that means.

751
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 2: That we are staying hydrated.

752
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 3: Now, of course, Element has so many delicious flavors. My

753
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 3: go tos right now grapefruit and watermelon, but other favorites

754
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 3: citrus or in chocolate. Hmmm, I'm at tempted to make

755
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 3: myself a cup of that rite now, so many flavor

756
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,800
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757
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,400
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758
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:16,080
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759
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:20,160
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760
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 3: drink Element dot com, drink lmnt dot com slash hurdle.

761
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 3: Use that website today, head on over and get a

762
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 3: free sample pack with your purchase. When did you get

763
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 3: outside of the I want to do the best I

764
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 3: can for the team mentality and start to embrace pushing

765
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 3: the boundaries of your own potential as a solo athlete.

766
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:55,720
Speaker 1: I think around the time I started going to junior

767
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: nationals when I was oh, what was I then, fifteen

768
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: sixteen years That's when I started realizing like, Oh, like,

769
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying training hard and training in the summer

770
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: as well, and I'm really enjoying racing, and I think

771
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: I want to keep taking it to the next level

772
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: and see like can I race at junior Nationals? Can

773
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: I reset senior Nationals? Can I make the World Championship team?

774
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 1: But I will say I was all I was always

775
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: very focused on my team as well. Within that, so

776
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: even though racing is predominantly individual, we do have some relays,

777
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:30,959
Speaker 1: but we don't get that many of them. It's mostly

778
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 1: an individual sport. But I am still so focused on

779
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,359
Speaker 1: the way we train and support each other and push

780
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: each other to be better as a team.

781
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 3: We talked about how you like to push yourself when

782
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 3: it comes to racing. How have you learned to gauge

783
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 3: that when it comes to your training versus the effort

784
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 3: that you're going to put out on the big day.

785
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: Oh, that makes a lot of sense, because you can't

786
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,879
Speaker 1: just go one hundred percent all the time. You're gonna

787
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 1: burn out, You're gonna get overtrained in. And that's a

788
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 1: really tricky line to walk because I feel like I'm

789
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: always kind of trying to feather that line of like

790
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: how hard can I push it while still being able

791
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: to recover and come back from this? And so I

792
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: guess some of it is, honestly the answers. I haven't

793
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 1: done it well all the time. I've definitely had years

794
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: where I overtrained. In twenty fifteen, before the World Championships,

795
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,240
Speaker 1: I had to give myself two weeks of emergency rests,

796
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 1: like a month or two before the season started because

797
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 1: I had overdone it and I was cooked, and I

798
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 1: was able to come back and still salvage a good season.

799
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: But I think I've learned that I have a few

800
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 1: different tells when it comes to training and when I'm

801
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 1: starting to push it too hard. The first is my mood,

802
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 1: Like if I get sad for pretty much no explainable reason,

803
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 1: I know I'm pretty tired, because at baseline, I'm a

804
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: pretty happy person. And if I'm just kind of out

805
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 1: of it and like a little bit mil and call

806
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 1: you for no reason, I'm like, oh, that I'm like

807
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 1: starting to get deeply tired here, and I need to

808
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: be very careful that I'm not digging too deep a

809
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: hole because I need to climb back out of this.

810
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 1: And the other is like my sleep. How you know

811
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: if it's starting to be hard to sleep or hard

812
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: to get out of bed in the morning, is it

813
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 1: hard to get motivated or is it hard for me

814
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 1: to be motivated to train? Because the other thing besides

815
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,760
Speaker 1: being a pretty happy person is that I love training,

816
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 1: Like I love going out there and pushing myself and

817
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: getting to be outside and even even when we're not

818
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: in beautiful places, I just love the idea of getting

819
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 1: to challenge myself and trying to become one percent better.

820
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 1: And if I wake up and I'm like, ah, I

821
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: don't really feel like it, then I'm like, WHOA hit

822
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: the brakes, Like this is a big deal because I'm

823
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm maybe on the edge of being sick. I'm probably

824
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: really tired, and that I need to really pay attention

825
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 1: to those signals that I'm getting from my brain.

826
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 3: It's really impressive of that you have that level of

827
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 3: awareness to signify when something isn't exactly going right, because

828
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 3: so many may have that awareness but not listen. And

829
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 3: you not only have it, but then also know your

830
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 3: body and yourself enough to say, okay, I need to

831
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 3: shut it down.

832
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: Well, that only comes from the experience of not listening

833
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 1: a couple times, right, Yeah, so I had to learn

834
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: the hard way, which I think, I mean to be honest,

835
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 1: I wish I was that person who could watch the

836
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: mistakes of others and be like, aha, I've learned the secrets.

837
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: I will never do that, But like most people, I

838
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,879
Speaker 1: had to experience it myself to be like, Okay, these

839
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 1: are these serious warning signs, and these are the things

840
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 1: that I should not push through, and these other things

841
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: I can push through. And so it's yeah, it's been

842
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 1: a bit of trial and error to get to this point,

843
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,720
Speaker 1: which is why it's so fun being an older athlete,

844
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: because you have all these years and all these thousands

845
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: of hours of training to finally be able to use

846
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,359
Speaker 1: that knowledge that you've earned the hard way.

847
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 3: I appreciate that older athlete and the age thirty three

848
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 3: really go hand in hand here.

849
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: Well, when you think about the general scheme of Olympic sports,

850
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm on the older end.

851
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: What you're saying, though, is entirely understandable.

852
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 3: This concept that we can watch others struggle, but until

853
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 3: you go through the struggle yourself, you don't know how

854
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,760
Speaker 3: you are going to respond, and then you don't really

855
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 3: have that.

856
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,760
Speaker 2: Lesson necessarily ingrained.

857
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 3: It's similar to the conversation that we were having between

858
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 3: injury and your eating disorder. Right, these are things that

859
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 3: are so difficult and sad and frustrating as we are

860
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 3: experiencing them, But as with any hurdle, they give us

861
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:56,720
Speaker 3: this opportunity to then decide that we can move forward

862
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 3: with this new information, equipping us for whatever challenge or

863
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 3: hurdle comes next.

864
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: Exactly. So I think it's nice to think, like, Okay,

865
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 1: this hard thing that I'm going through right now, this

866
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: is going to serve me in the future, whether it's

867
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: an injury, whether it's a mental injury, whether it's just

868
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: like oh I alway did it on the training, Like

869
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 1: I'm this will serve me in the future because I'm

870
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,919
Speaker 1: learning from this, I'm taking lessons, you know, and it's

871
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: it's not just pain and suffering for no reason, like

872
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 1: I am going to come back stronger. I'm going to

873
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: build from this, and then I won't make that same mistake,

874
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: or I'll recognize those warning signs, or if I have

875
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: another relapse, I know to tell people right away and

876
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: then I will suffer less. And so I think it's

877
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 1: there is something to the knowledge that at least you're

878
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: getting something, you know, some some crucial knowledge and insight

879
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 1: from it.

880
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 2: You touched on being a positive person.

881
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 3: It would take someone like one minute of listening to

882
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,320
Speaker 3: you speak to agree with that sentiment.

883
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 2: What a Jesse Diggins do on the days where she's.

884
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 3: Not feeling so shiny or excited or stellar in her

885
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: own body? How do you handle that? And what's your

886
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 3: inner dialogue looking like these days?

887
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 1: That's a great question, especially right now because there is

888
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: starting to be some pressure building as we come to

889
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 1: the World Championships. And on the one hand, that's great.

890
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 1: I've worked my whole life to be in a position

891
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 1: of pressure to be able to hold that and carry

892
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: that and and be that person who can accept that pressure.

893
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: At the other on the other side, like it sucks

894
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 1: to feel like everyone's watching you and wanting to see

895
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 1: you deliver something, and you can have those moments of

896
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: self doubt, like, oh my gosh, have I worked hard enough?

897
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:48,360
Speaker 1: Have I worked too hard?

898
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 2: You know?

899
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: Am I resting enough? Am I resting too much? You know?

900
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 1: It's so hard to know. And I'm not immune to

901
00:48:56,440 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 1: those moments of self doubt or self questioning and wondering,

902
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,760
Speaker 1: you know, like Wow, someday it will be so nice

903
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 1: when my body is not my job. Like, there's definitely

904
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 1: moments when I think about that. But on the other side,

905
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 1: what I ask myself when I'm going through those questioning

906
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,280
Speaker 1: moments and all those doubts is just a very simple question.

907
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 1: It's am I doing the best I can right now?

908
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 1: And that's it? Am I doing the best I can?

909
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:30,760
Speaker 1: And usually the answer is, well, yeah, I am doing

910
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 1: the best I can, Like I'm putting my whole heart

911
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: out there, and I'm training as smart as I can,

912
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 1: and I'm making the best choices that I can in

913
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: this moment with the information I have. And if the

914
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: answer is no, I'm not doing the best I can,

915
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: then I need to have a little conversation with myself.

916
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 1: It's like, well why not? Like do you still love

917
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: what you're doing? Is this still the right goal for you?

918
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 1: Why is it that you think you need to feel

919
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 1: this pressure for World Championships? Is it to please other people?

920
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: Or is it because you want it? So then there's

921
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: some other conversations that need to happen. But if the

922
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 1: answer is yeah, I'm putting it all out there and

923
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 1: I'm doing the best, then are the best for me

924
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: in this moment doesn't have to be the best compared

925
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: to anyone else. Then I'm like, all right, I need

926
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: to be satisfied with that, because I would never turn

927
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:17,760
Speaker 1: to a teammate or a friend or a family member

928
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 1: who is doing their best and be like it's not

929
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: good enough. I would never say that to anyone else,

930
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 1: So why would I say that to myself?

931
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

932
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 3: Wow, you're asking yourself so many great questions in your

933
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 3: process here, which beckons the question from me. Have you

934
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 3: ever set out for a specific goal, done this level

935
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:43,240
Speaker 3: of inquiry on the journey to that goal, and made

936
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 3: the decision that you wanted to pivot?

937
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 2: You know?

938
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 1: And I don't think so. And here's why. Because most

939
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: of my goals are process oriented. Very very few goals

940
00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 1: are actually about the outcome. And so I think, think,

941
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,919
Speaker 1: if all my goals were outcome, I want to win

942
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,320
Speaker 1: this Olympic race, I want that medal, I want to

943
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: win this thing. If it was all based on the outcome,

944
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 1: at some point I might go do I actually want that?

945
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 1: Or do I think that somebody wants me to want that?

946
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 1: But most of my goals, like every year, when I

947
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 1: sit down in May with my coach and I write out, like,

948
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: here's what I want to do this year. I have

949
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,760
Speaker 1: a whole section. These are like my community give back goals.

950
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: These are my day to day goals. Here's how I

951
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 1: want to take care of myself. And I'm like, you know,

952
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: when I retire, I'm still going to have those goals

953
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: of taking care of myself. Like I'm still going to

954
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:40,359
Speaker 1: want to talk to a therapist just because I think

955
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 1: it's healthy. I'm still going to want to get eight

956
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 1: hours of sleep because I think that's great. Like, those

957
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 1: are never going to change. Those are goals that I

958
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: want for me for my life because I think it's important.

959
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 1: And similarly, like my process goal is with skiing is

960
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 1: just how can I become the best athlete that I

961
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: can be And it's not in comparison to anybody else.

962
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: And so for me, that's been a really important thing.

963
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 1: That's all about this process of striving, but it's not

964
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 1: about measuring you Know.

965
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 3: What I appreciate about this is that through your process goals,

966
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 3: you are working toward bigger benchmarks. So it's not like

967
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 3: you said earlier this year, I'm going to win this

968
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 3: World Cup, right, you set out personal goals that enabled

969
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 3: you as an individual athlete to perform in such a

970
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 3: way that got you to this next landmark.

971
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 2: Right.

972
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 3: So, I think that that's a really interesting way to

973
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 3: view goal setting and to view someone going after their

974
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:47,720
Speaker 3: own potential is really both in evaluating the journey along

975
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 3: the way and then setting yourself up for success by

976
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 3: ideating what does success feel like for me in my

977
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 3: body as an individual?

978
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:02,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't agree more because I think my goals

979
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: might be different than someone else's goals, and that's okay.

980
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to reach my potential. And I think

981
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: where people often struggle, I think is where the goal

982
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 1: they set isn't consistent with what they're willing to put

983
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 1: in in order to achieve it. And I think that's

984
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: where you get this mismatch where you're going to set

985
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:26,799
Speaker 1: yourself up feeling disappointed or frustrated or angry that you're

986
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 1: not meeting this goal. But if you're honest with here's

987
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: what I want to achieve and here's the amount of

988
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: work I'm willing to put in, and those are aligned,

989
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 1: then you're going to feel satisfied whether or not you're

990
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 1: actually reaching the goal. You know that you're actually putting

991
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,359
Speaker 1: in the true, honest effort that it takes to give

992
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: yourself that best shot of making it happen.

993
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 2: One hundred percent.

994
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 3: And that's why it's so important to be realistic or

995
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 3: make a relevant goal right. So I always give this example, like, say,

996
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 3: if you're someone that wants to drink more water, and

997
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 3: quantifiably you hear that you're supposed to drink eight glasses

998
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 3: of water each day, so you set the goal to

999
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 3: drink eight glasses of water a day, but you're someone

1000
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 3: that's only drinking one right now, then you might not

1001
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 3: be willing to put in the effort that is required

1002
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 3: to drink eight. You could be better off if you

1003
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 3: set a goal to drink three, right, And there's nothing

1004
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 3: wrong with drinking three, especially if that's up from drinking one.

1005
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,480
Speaker 3: The only person that will say something is wrong with

1006
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 3: drinking three is you if you compare yourself to the

1007
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:34,479
Speaker 3: person that's drinking eight.

1008
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 1: That's a great analogy because I think if you set

1009
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 1: a goal that is is a reach, you know, challenge yourself,

1010
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,800
Speaker 1: but it has to be realistic with what you're willing

1011
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: to put in to reach for it. And then I

1012
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:51,320
Speaker 1: think you're you're going to feel satisfied in the quest

1013
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 1: for it too. And that's the other part that I'm

1014
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 1: realizing is, you know, like in this build up to

1015
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: World Champs, for example, the other day, I went for

1016
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 1: this beautiful hike and it was sunset, and I made

1017
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 1: a new friend and we went to the top of

1018
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: this mountain and we drank tea and ate pastries and

1019
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 1: it was just wonderful, and I was like, man, I'm

1020
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:13,760
Speaker 1: so happy that I'm enjoying each little stepping stone along

1021
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,880
Speaker 1: the way. It's not oh, I'll only be happy if

1022
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 1: I win World Champs. No, it's I'm going to be

1023
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: happy if I put everything that I can into this,

1024
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: if I'm doing the best I can every day, and

1025
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: if I'm taking the moment or the time in the

1026
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: moment to be like, Wow, I'm in a beautiful place.

1027
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,399
Speaker 1: I love training. I love the fact that I get

1028
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 1: to hike up this mountain right now, which three weeks

1029
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 1: ago I couldn't do with where my foot was at. Like,

1030
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 1: I'm appreciating things so much more. There's something that can

1031
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: sometimes get lost when you get so focused on the

1032
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:50,760
Speaker 1: end goal or the outcome and the physical like tangible result,

1033
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to remember to step back and enjoy

1034
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: even the struggle in all these little pieces along the way,

1035
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 1: because there's something unique in that and there's something to

1036
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:01,280
Speaker 1: be learned.

1037
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's something really beautiful about your appreciation for

1038
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,239
Speaker 3: every little step. But also that appreciation comes from a

1039
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 3: willingness and a desire to be present in the every moment, right,

1040
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 3: because that presence is what enables you to have the

1041
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 3: gratitude for what is instead of again those words that

1042
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:27,040
Speaker 3: we were using before, comparison or asking yourself what else

1043
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 3: or who else? Right, So that presence in your day

1044
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 3: to day is something that's really special.

1045
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's something I don't ever want to lose.

1046
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: I think that's that's and it's not something that I've

1047
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,879
Speaker 1: always had too, I should say like I've also it's

1048
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: taken work to be like, yeah, I need to ground

1049
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 1: myself in this moment and enjoy the thing that I'm

1050
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,360
Speaker 1: doing right now.

1051
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 2: I don't always.

1052
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 1: Need to be like looking head, looking head, looking ahead.

1053
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: And that's something that I, I mean, I struggled with

1054
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: at the twenty eighteen Olympics. I'd finish a race and

1055
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 1: be like, oh right, I have to I have to recover.

1056
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,319
Speaker 1: I have to do this. I have to cool down,

1057
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,759
Speaker 1: I have to do this thing. And even after we

1058
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 1: won the race, I remember my mom just being like,

1059
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:11,880
Speaker 1: slow down. You will do all those things. It's hardwired

1060
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: into you. There's no possible way you're gonna forget to

1061
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: cool down. But just take a moment and like, enjoy

1062
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 1: this second that you're in, Like you've worked your whole

1063
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: life for this. Yes, you have other races coming up,

1064
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 1: and you want to be there for the team and

1065
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 1: you want to be there for yourself, but just appreciate

1066
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 1: the second that you're in. And I was like, oh

1067
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: my god, you're right. Like I was rushing through everything

1068
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 1: just because I was trying so hard to do everything,

1069
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 1: you know, quote exactly right right, And it's okay to

1070
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: take a second and actually appreciate it. And I think

1071
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 1: I've finally started to get better at appreciating the and

1072
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,160
Speaker 1: the winds too, not just the every day, but like

1073
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 1: it's okay to actually take a moment and enjoy this.

1074
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 1: I don't have to rush to do the next right thing.

1075
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 3: There's so much power and celebrating the moments, whether they

1076
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 3: be small or big, right, and oh my god, the

1077
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 3: emotion that is triggered when I watch that win from

1078
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 3: twenty eighteen.

1079
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 2: It's so special.

1080
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 3: And I do remember in the NBC report when you

1081
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 3: were saying that what was so impactful for you was

1082
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 3: watching the reaction videos to the win, right, seeing all

1083
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 3: of the young women that were so amazed and marveling

1084
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 3: at this accomplishment of an American woman. Right, How does

1085
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 3: it feel for you to be a role model and

1086
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 3: to know that you are for some on this podium

1087
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 3: of sorts?

1088
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 1: That is wild and it's a feeling I'm still getting

1089
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 1: trying to get used to, or maybe I'll never get

1090
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: used to it, actually, so I'm not going to try

1091
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: to get used to it. But it is wild, and

1092
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 1: it is honestly, it's a really big privilege and it's

1093
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: honor and it's something that I don't take lightly. I

1094
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 1: recognize that there are a lot of little kids watching,

1095
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: and I think it's really cool to be able to

1096
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 1: inspire with the big moments when you win. But I

1097
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: feel it even more acutely in the moments when everything

1098
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:14,640
Speaker 1: goes wrong and when you don't win. How do you react?

1099
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 1: You know there's a lot of kids watching. Are you

1100
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 1: the person who throws a fit and you know, breaks

1101
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 1: your pull over your knee and storms off. Or are

1102
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 1: you the person that congratulates the people you're racing against,

1103
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 1: still goes over thanks the wax text, thanks the coaches,

1104
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 1: Like do you hold your head high and say, hey, look,

1105
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: I did everything I could and I've earned the right

1106
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 1: to be proud of my effort today. And I think

1107
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 1: that's the moment when I feel most like a role model.

1108
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 1: It's not when I win, but it's actually what I

1109
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 1: lose spectacularly and still hold my head high that I'm like, Okay,

1110
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,120
Speaker 1: this is what these kids need to see right now,

1111
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 1: because it needs to be about more than just winning,

1112
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 1: Like you need to show that your self worth is

1113
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: not directly to to the number next to your name

1114
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 1: on the result sheet.

1115
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,920
Speaker 3: It's so true, it's so true, and it's such a

1116
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 3: such a special and unique opportunity that you have. Someone

1117
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:13,840
Speaker 3: right now goes to maybe your Instagram page and they

1118
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 3: see you're an Olympic medalist, you're a world champion, you're

1119
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 3: an author, you're a speaker. There's something like two hundred

1120
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 3: and forty thousand plus people that keep up with you.

1121
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 3: But when you're at home, Jesse, and you look in

1122
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 3: the mirror. What is it that you see looking back

1123
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 3: at you?

1124
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 1: Oh, I see someone who loves her family and her

1125
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 1: husband very much. And I see someone who loves what

1126
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: she does and is super lucky to get to do

1127
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 1: it every day. And I see someone who tries really hard.

1128
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 1: More than anything, like, I just see someone who likes

1129
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 1: to work hard and is always going to be trying

1130
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 1: hard whatever it is that she does.

1131
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 3: I hear it in your voice that sometimes the trying

1132
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 3: can be a little exhausting.

1133
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 2: Is that how you feel?

1134
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes it's Sometimes it hurts to care so much,

1135
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:17,280
Speaker 1: and sometimes it hurts to put your heart and soul

1136
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: into something and not have it work out, or to

1137
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 1: feel like it is so much work. But at the

1138
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 1: same time, I think the magic is in trying hard

1139
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:32,800
Speaker 1: at something. It's not really whether or not you get it.

1140
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 1: Because everyone goes to the Olympics and wants to win,

1141
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 1: and only only one person is going to win, and

1142
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: everyone gets the opportunity to go out there and try

1143
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 1: and push themselves and challenge themselves and get out there

1144
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 1: and see where their limits are. And that's so cool

1145
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 1: and that's so beautiful, And so I think in some ways, Yeah,

1146
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 1: it is exhausting and sometimes it hurts to care so much.

1147
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:02,640
Speaker 1: But on the other side, I think it's so cool

1148
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 1: that we always just get to go out there and

1149
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 1: try hard at something, whether or not we're the best,

1150
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 1: everyone gets the opportunity to go try.

1151
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 3: Everyone gets the opportunity to go try. Jesse, final question

1152
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 3: for you here, right now, you have an opportunity to

1153
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 3: offer yourself a piece of advice going through the hurdle moment.

1154
01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:21,240
Speaker 3: I mean, let's go back to a year and a

1155
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 3: half ago, right, Let's go back to feeling as though

1156
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 3: you failed a little bit in this relapse, coming out

1157
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:31,440
Speaker 3: and speaking to your care team, and then opening up

1158
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 3: with your community about what you.

1159
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 2: Were in enduring.

1160
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:36,439
Speaker 3: Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give

1161
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:38,520
Speaker 3: to yourself during that hurdle moment.

1162
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:41,600
Speaker 1: You don't have to be so hard on yourself. You

1163
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:45,439
Speaker 1: are good enough exactly as you are. And that makes

1164
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 1: me a little bit sad to say, because there was

1165
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: a moment in which I couldn't look in the mirror

1166
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:52,160
Speaker 1: and say you are good enough. I literally couldn't do it.

1167
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 1: My coach challenged me to do it, and I just

1168
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 1: started crying, like I couldn't tell myself you're good enough

1169
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 1: as you are, like warts and all know, like it's

1170
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: totally fine. And that was really hard for me. And

1171
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 1: so I wish I could go back and tell myself, like,

1172
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 1: you do not have to be perfect, because I think

1173
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 1: every time I've gotten into big trouble in my life,

1174
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:18,040
Speaker 1: it's coming from this intense drive to try to be perfect.

1175
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: And it is okay to be imperfect, Like it is

1176
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:27,520
Speaker 1: my flaws that make me interesting and relatable and a funny,

1177
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 1: quirky little person, and that's okay. You know, perfect would

1178
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 1: be so boring, and so I would say, like, stop

1179
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 1: reaching for that. Just keep doing the best you can.

1180
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,480
Speaker 1: But it does not have to be perfect.

1181
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 3: Just keep doing the best you can. But it doesn't

1182
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 3: have to be perfect. I love it, Jesse. For those

1183
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 3: that aren't following you yet on social media, give us

1184
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 3: the details. How do they do that?

1185
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1186
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 1: I met Jesse Diggins on Instagram and my website is

1187
01:03:56,320 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: Jessediggins dot com and that's probably Yeah. I would say

1188
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,440
Speaker 1: Instagram is probably the best way to keep up with

1189
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 1: what I'm up to.

1190
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,880
Speaker 3: With what I'm up to, I'm over at Emily a

1191
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 3: Baddie and at Hurdle Podcast Jesse, thank you so much

1192
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:13,560
Speaker 3: for everything today. This was a joy, truly another hurdle conquered.

1193
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.