Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
Speaker 1: perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you
Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests,
Speaker 1: you're our presences. Presents enough.
Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how do you
Speaker 2: dare to surbey me?
Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. We
Speaker 3: are here in the studio. I'm in the throes of
Speaker 3: jet I know you know last week's episode I complained
Speaker 3: about jet lag, but that was actually recorded yesterday. Does
Speaker 3: this make sense? So we've recorded two in a row.
Speaker 3: I hate to shatter the illusion that the podcast isn't
Speaker 3: coming to you live, but there's I don't even know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I slept for an hour last night,
Speaker 3: and I feel insane. I'm kicking things over. I just
Speaker 3: kicked something over. You can't see that. No one can
Speaker 3: see that except for me. But I wanted to drag
Speaker 3: you through all of this. What's good? What's happening. I've
Speaker 3: got a new parking lot at the studio. They've really
Speaker 3: done the works with this thing. All the bells and whistles,
Speaker 3: beautiful new paint job. I don't know if they'd put
Speaker 3: new asphalt or not, but it smells like new asphalt,
Speaker 3: and so it was exciting to park and get out
Speaker 3: of my car. I was found coffee this morning. I
Speaker 3: thought I saw a mildly famous person that I think
Speaker 3: it was just some loser. So it wasn't even a
Speaker 3: famous person, but if it was, I would say who
Speaker 3: I thought it was. But then what if it was
Speaker 3: her and I just thought she was a loser. I'm
Speaker 3: so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. We
Speaker 3: should get into the episode. I love today's guest. It's
Speaker 3: Tim Kalpaca's Tim. Welcome to I said, no gifts.
Speaker 4: Thank you, thanks for having me. And I did clock
Speaker 4: the new asphalt in park?
Speaker 3: Did you smell it?
Speaker 4: I like, I've never been here before. But I pulled in.
Speaker 4: I was like, well, well, well, my.
Speaker 3: God, slipping and sliding on that thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, my god, splashing all over the place,
Speaker 4: but I did. It's so funny, like subconsciously was just like,
Speaker 4: it's really nice to be in a brand new parking lot.
Speaker 3: There is something nice about it's just smooth. You know,
Speaker 3: you're not going to be tripping, You're not gonna be
Speaker 3: driving through any potholes. It just feels Chris, And yesterday
Speaker 3: that wasn't the case. I had to park on the street,
Speaker 3: and everybody felt how mad I.
Speaker 4: Was about that. Yeah, the street, which is actually like
Speaker 4: a closer walk into the studio because the door's right there.
Speaker 3: But it was actually probably an easier way to park altogether.
Speaker 3: But you know, the principle of it was imperial.
Speaker 4: You host the show, I host the show. I was
Speaker 4: surprised that there isn't a name plate back there. You know,
Speaker 4: this is a free for all. My god, it's a mess.
Speaker 3: It's complete chaos. I feel like I'm just some random employee.
Speaker 3: It's disgusting. What am I a production assist?
Speaker 4: Awful? I'm on the mic.
Speaker 3: Here I should be, you know, I should know exactly
Speaker 3: where I'm parking.
Speaker 4: Were you ever a production assistant?
Speaker 3: It was for a really long time, for longer than
Speaker 3: I should have been.
Speaker 4: Well, I was. I was four years at one place.
Speaker 3: Four years as well.
Speaker 4: No. Yes, mine was a Gracie Films, which does the Simpsons.
Speaker 4: So I was like James L. Brooks's PA.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's kind of an impressive PA position.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're supposed to do it for like one
Speaker 4: year and then become a second assistant, and then first assistant,
Speaker 4: and then you know, like be a producer.
Speaker 3: Right, it feels like you're like a really delayed puberty
Speaker 3: or something where you're just like, oh, everybody else got
Speaker 3: out of it.
Speaker 4: And they started toward the end they hinted to me like,
Speaker 4: if you're not getting promoted, you're kind of supposed to quit,
Speaker 4: you know. So they're like, Timmy kind of been here
Speaker 4: a long time, what do you want to do career wise?
Speaker 4: It's like, pa, I guess what was holding you back? Well,
Speaker 4: it was a really easy job, and I loved I
Speaker 4: was doing like UCB every night with my sketch group
Speaker 4: of birthday boys, So I kind of wanted to just
Speaker 4: do nothing all day and then go to UCB. So
Speaker 4: I wasn't putting in the type of effort that gets
Speaker 4: you promoted. But I certainly wasn't gonna leave because I
Speaker 4: had such an easy job. So I posted up for
Speaker 4: four years. But I remember like in the end of
Speaker 4: the four years, I was like, I've been here as
Speaker 4: long as I was in college.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it starts to get to a really bad feeling.
Speaker 3: I mean I got I got to the point where
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I was literally looking up jobs
Speaker 3: in Salt Lake City again. I was like, oh, I
Speaker 3: guess I just I failed. I have to go home
Speaker 3: right now. I did my time, but I think part
Speaker 3: of it was I didn't within the place I was.
Speaker 3: I did not want to be promoted because I felt
Speaker 3: like it would become even more of a prison, and
Speaker 3: so I just thought, well, I just get to be
Speaker 3: online all days, just on the internet, screwing around and
Speaker 3: like the first hour of the day's work and then
Speaker 3: it's just whatever I want for the next seven hours.
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't I just keep doing this horrible thing?
Speaker 4: And it's weird then when you don't have that job
Speaker 4: anymore and it's like the middle of a weekday and
Speaker 4: you're not working, but you're just scrolling the internet as well,
Speaker 4: and you're like, oh, I used to get paid to
Speaker 4: this and get like free lunch from tender Greens.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh, tender Greens. That's a business I'd like to
Speaker 3: run out of town.
Speaker 4: I feel like I liked it when it was free
Speaker 4: for lunch, but I could never pay for it. That
Speaker 4: like Sweet Green, Mendosino Farms, all the salad places in
Speaker 4: LA they just taste like office food that should be free,
Speaker 4: so I would never be able to pay money for
Speaker 4: those Yeah, you cut.
Speaker 3: When I'm at one of those places, now I feel like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm being ripped off. I'm like, what, this feels unnatural
Speaker 3: that I'm giving them my money.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm used to getting this for free. Is
Speaker 4: there something we could work out? Does James Oldbrooks know
Speaker 4: about this?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I wonder. I don't know how I would feel
Speaker 3: about any of those places if I hadn't worked in
Speaker 3: an office that had just given it to me prior
Speaker 3: to it, right, I mean I do. I can speak
Speaker 3: to Mendocino. I remember being there when they first opened,
Speaker 3: before it became an office food, and I remember thinking
Speaker 3: this is good. But now it tastes like food stuff,
Speaker 3: you know, like it feels like the idea of food.
Speaker 4: Right, And especially because they're trying to lean into a
Speaker 4: farm to table vibe, that makes it even worse because
Speaker 4: because I don't believe, well, I've never been in Mendocino
Speaker 4: to look at their farms, so I don't know. But
Speaker 4: I mean, it's the same thing with Lacroix. I can't
Speaker 4: buy Lacroix.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, can you imagine?
Speaker 4: Now? I buy Perier Laurente.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he's at work.
Speaker 4: It's like I'll have a thousand Lacroix and won't appreciate
Speaker 4: them whatsoever.
Speaker 3: Actually I will now. I feel like kind of a
Speaker 3: fraud because I do buy Lacroix now, but that's only
Speaker 3: because we record this show sometimes in my backyard.
Speaker 4: I was hoping for a backyard.
Speaker 3: Why didn't you say something.
Speaker 4: I just didn't have the balls. I was just stewing
Speaker 4: for yourself. I'll be honest. I didn't look until I
Speaker 4: was like leaving home today. I looked at the email
Speaker 4: and put in the address, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is not okay. What are we doing on a Lisha's.
Speaker 3: There's some sort of bird noise we can play over
Speaker 3: the headphones or a helicopter. Children screaming, school bells, dump trucks, home,
Speaker 3: neighbor's fighting, cats, meowing. I think those are the typical
Speaker 3: sounds we hear.
Speaker 4: In the back of Yeah, loud.
Speaker 3: Outside of the screaming, we'll put in post. I want
Speaker 3: to hear all of those at once, just alarming sounds.
Speaker 3: Although I had a friend messaged me last night at
Speaker 3: the wonderful Katie Fishal to let me know that she
Speaker 3: started listening to the podcast to fall asleep, but she
Speaker 3: said it's because she's Uh, there's like a sweet spot
Speaker 3: of podcasts she can listen to where she's engaged enough,
Speaker 3: but they don't make alarming noises. But if we could
Speaker 3: get some alarming noises for her now, just to wake
Speaker 3: her up in the middle of the night to teach
Speaker 3: her a lesson, that would be important.
Speaker 4: Have you listened to any of the calm like the
Speaker 4: it's podcasts that put you to sleep on purpose. No,
Speaker 4: they're like short stories that are rambly and repetitive. Oh
Speaker 4: that sounds great. Yeah, it's like I did. I did
Speaker 4: a free trial and it worked, and then I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't know if we're gonna.
Speaker 3: It's a pay thing.
Speaker 4: I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3: I can find plenty of boring podcasts to listen to.
Speaker 4: Oh you know, it was a good pay thing. I
Speaker 4: another free trial that I decided recently. There is like
Speaker 4: a romance like like erotica romance podcast work. I'm forgetting
Speaker 4: what it's called, but it's like it's it's like for women,
Speaker 4: and it's like first person guys talking to you, like, hmm,
Speaker 4: I just bought this tuxedo. It's nice to see you
Speaker 4: at this gala. Would you like to step aside into
Speaker 4: a side room? And like I was just I was curious,
Speaker 4: like what are cause it's it's not like super graphic,
Speaker 4: but it captures the imagination that it's like a guy.
Speaker 4: The one I listened to that the character was an
Speaker 4: art thief. He is, so he's like wooing a lady
Speaker 4: but then also stealing art. But I guess that's the
Speaker 4: ultimate fantasy. He's a gentleman thief. Yeah, exactly, what's more like?
Speaker 4: And like he has good taste and art, you know,
Speaker 4: he's a part of like society.
Speaker 3: Yeah wow, but he's still a rogue.
Speaker 4: He's the bad boy of the art scene.
Speaker 3: That's a I mean, this is I feel like there's
Speaker 3: a good knockoff podcast of that called dream Date that's
Speaker 3: like puts you to sleep, but it's also your dream date.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you have a wet dream like.
Speaker 3: No, wow, I'd like to listen to that. That sounds engaging.
Speaker 4: I'll send it to you. And I mean, if that
Speaker 4: free trial had not ended, I would be I would
Speaker 4: be all over it. It was very good.
Speaker 3: This is a podcast I think I don't I'm bringing
Speaker 3: this up in comparison to that. But this podcast that
Speaker 3: I love called Rumble Strip, which this woman does out
Speaker 3: of Vermont, and she just talks to local Vermont residents
Speaker 3: and that's a very good, good one to fall asleep to, wow,
Speaker 3: because it's pleasant.
Speaker 4: She's just talking to people in a quiet voice.
Speaker 3: And I don't even know why I bring that up,
Speaker 3: probably because I'm so out of my mind.
Speaker 4: Well, it is it intentionally? Like does she know she's
Speaker 4: making just a soothing thing or is it supposed to be?
Speaker 4: Like I'm a local Vermont and these are the issues.
Speaker 3: I think it's both. I think she knows that. It's
Speaker 3: like I think when you call a thing rumble strip,
Speaker 3: isn't a rumble strip but the resign to wake you
Speaker 3: up up?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So are there loud sounds?
Speaker 3: Eventually she just has like an airhorn in the middle
Speaker 3: of wake up. No, that's a good question. But uh,
Speaker 3: I again, I don't know why I bring it up.
Speaker 3: And that's fine.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to find the logic what I'm here to
Speaker 4: promote projects.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of any recent pre trials that
Speaker 3: I've ripped off, you know, because I never sign up
Speaker 3: for a thing knowing that I'm actually going to pay
Speaker 3: for it. Occasionally they'll get me and then I'll complain
Speaker 3: and get my money back. I recently lied to a
Speaker 3: coffee service because I had forgotten to cancel it and
Speaker 3: then didn't and they charged me, and so I kind
Speaker 3: of blamed them how I emailed them and said, I
Speaker 3: thought I had canceled this and I'm going to be
Speaker 3: out of town.
Speaker 4: And that worked. They're like, oh, you thought that. We
Speaker 4: realized you had thought that.
Speaker 3: I couldn't believe that it had worked.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 3: It felt very like twenty fifteen customer service, when a
Speaker 3: lot of these online companies really would do whatever you
Speaker 3: wanted them to. And now I feel like they've kind
Speaker 3: of locked things up where you can't complain. I'll complain
Speaker 3: to people now and they'll be like, tough luck. I
Speaker 3: had an Uber ride like a couple of months ago
Speaker 3: where I felt legitimately in danger and I complained to
Speaker 3: them and they gave me nothing.
Speaker 4: What was the legitimate danger?
Speaker 3: The guy was out of his mind. She was screaming
Speaker 3: at everybody we had. He took only surface streets back
Speaker 3: from Lax. He was cutting through parking lots. He was
Speaker 3: just doing a lot of weird stuff where I was like,
Speaker 3: this doesn't seem normal, and the app kept trying to
Speaker 3: get him back on track, and.
Speaker 4: He's like, I know better than the app.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, and he absolutely didn't. It probably took at
Speaker 3: least fifty percent extra time to get back to my home.
Speaker 4: And so you complained and I just like, thank you
Speaker 4: for your feedback. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Sorry, it never.
Speaker 4: Crosses my mind to even try. I was with friends
Speaker 4: leaving I saw a movie at the Americana at the
Speaker 4: mall recently and was like leaving the parking structure and
Speaker 4: we had forgot our ticket for validation right, and my
Speaker 4: friend's girlfriend was like, oh, watch this and she said
Speaker 4: like to the voice, like you hit the button and
Speaker 4: she was like, I'm so sorry. I lost my purse
Speaker 4: and I don't have the ticket, and I know you
Speaker 4: can't let me go, but could you please and like
Speaker 4: put on a whole show. And then there's a long
Speaker 4: silence and the guy goes, can offer you a one
Speaker 4: time courtesy? Yeah, and I wonder how many one time
Speaker 4: courtesy exits he's had given out that day, but he
Speaker 4: just let us out. The arm went up and we
Speaker 4: left for free entirely.
Speaker 3: Wow. One how does he track one time. Do you
Speaker 3: take her information?
Speaker 4: No, not at all, but it would be amazing if
Speaker 4: he was like tracking very closely. But now I think
Speaker 4: if you're just she was kind of I don't know
Speaker 4: if you could see us or was just listening, but
Speaker 4: she was kind of starting to sound like she was
Speaker 4: gonna cry.
Speaker 3: Oh see, this was exactly That's exactly where my mind went.
Speaker 3: I would start with crying.
Speaker 4: I would shop excuse me where now, let me get
Speaker 4: to the matter at hand.
Speaker 3: I lost my being. Key. Wow, that's a dangerous behavior.
Speaker 3: Parking in the pay parking lot at that mall. I
Speaker 3: park in the free one all the time.
Speaker 4: Right, you mean like over at the at the galleria.
Speaker 4: That's what I used to do in the classic. Oh,
Speaker 4: there's there's free.
Speaker 3: Free one right next to the pay one by the
Speaker 3: in and out. And I know the listener loves this.
Speaker 4: They have not heard enough about Losi.
Speaker 3: But this is I want to I do want to
Speaker 3: really describe this situation. There's the pay parking lot owned
Speaker 3: by local villain Rick Cruse. Next door, there's an in
Speaker 3: and out. Do you know this in and out? The
Speaker 3: parking lot attached to that is technically part of the
Speaker 3: Galleria and it's attached to Bloomingdale's. All of this, that's
Speaker 3: all free parking.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 3: And it's truly right next door.
Speaker 4: So when I'm parking for free at Target, this is
Speaker 4: the same like ownership, same free parking situation, just a.
Speaker 3: Different one mister Galleria's lot for whatever reason, because that
Speaker 3: mall is attached across the street.
Speaker 4: Wow. People love this.
Speaker 3: I love this. That technically is the kind of its
Speaker 3: own little sovereign nation.
Speaker 4: Damn.
Speaker 3: So that's a little tip that I learned recently because
Speaker 3: I had been walking all the way from the Target.
Speaker 3: But if you see a late movie, then you have
Speaker 3: to walk outside the entire time. In the tough streets
Speaker 3: of Glendale, I'm always scared something's gonna happen to me.
Speaker 3: But now I'm in total protection, uh and free and
Speaker 3: I don't have to worry about getting my ticket validated,
Speaker 3: which also it's not free parking. And again people love
Speaker 3: ticket talk. But that parking lot, even with a validation,
Speaker 3: I think, is five dollars, which I think is ridiculous.
Speaker 4: I know, and I'll say this the one and this
Speaker 4: is relatable to people all across the world in all
Speaker 4: kinds of parking lots. The one thing that I think
Speaker 4: when I'm going into a structure is like, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: have to pay. This is gonna suck, but I'm gonna
Speaker 4: go to the tippy top and I'm gonna get a
Speaker 4: beautiful view. And I'm like, if I'll go to the
Speaker 4: top of any structure and it's like I'm on the
Speaker 4: rooftop and I'm like, this would be nice. After the movie,
Speaker 4: I'll come back up here and it'll be beautiful. But
Speaker 4: the one at the Americana has been closed.
Speaker 3: Oh you're kidding.
Speaker 4: So I've been driving up. I keep forgetting and I'll
Speaker 4: drive up and that's all of me to like the
Speaker 4: second to the top. So it's just like the long yeah,
Speaker 4: and I'm the most amount of driving to get up there,
Speaker 4: and then I'm just in the old stuff up there.
Speaker 3: What's the logic behind that?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know what's going on on
Speaker 4: that rooftop.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's a real shape. They've got something happening up there.
Speaker 3: Are probably satellite I was.
Speaker 4: Hoping you would know because like I always parking.
Speaker 3: You know, a gorgeous rooftop parking in Los Angeles. I
Speaker 3: think it's is underrated. As the home depot in Hollywood.
Speaker 3: Great date.
Speaker 4: I've looked at the structure. I've part I've been able
Speaker 4: to find parking on the normal lot right in front
Speaker 4: of the building.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, take take yourself up to the top
Speaker 3: of that trait yourself. They've got an elevator. You get
Speaker 3: a view of Hollywood. I mean to be on top
Speaker 3: of a home depot.
Speaker 4: I went when I first moved to LA I went
Speaker 4: to that home depot and I was like fresh out
Speaker 4: of college. So me and my friends were kind of
Speaker 4: like getting drunk and barfing all the time that era.
Speaker 4: So we were we like I think we maybe went
Speaker 4: to the Dresden because we trying to be like the
Speaker 4: Swingers guys. Oh god, and I got drunk. And then
Speaker 4: the next day we're moving. We had rented a U
Speaker 4: haul and we were moving to uh like uh like
Speaker 4: move into our house. That's but I'm hungover. So we're
Speaker 4: going to home depot to get some like move in
Speaker 4: type of stuff and uh, you know how there's there's
Speaker 4: like day laborer guys hang around there wanting to hire them.
Speaker 4: So I was walking in. I got kind of swarm
Speaker 4: by those guys like you do, and because they wanted
Speaker 4: me to hire them, and I puked in front of
Speaker 4: so I had. I had like twelve guys gather around me, like, hey,
Speaker 4: would you like help today with your move? And then
Speaker 4: I barfed into a garbage can and they all they
Speaker 4: all scattered at this young girl, and uh, it was
Speaker 4: I want to be like, you know, in general, I'm
Speaker 4: a good employer. Maybe today's just not my day.
Speaker 3: The idea of being hungover while moving makes you want
Speaker 3: to kill my It was the word.
Speaker 4: I mean, there's like pictures of me like just a
Speaker 4: sleep in the back of a giant U haul. I
Speaker 4: was no help. I was moving into a bro house
Speaker 4: with like five guys too, so they were they were
Speaker 4: used to and they just carted me around.
Speaker 3: That's the real rock and roll movers.
Speaker 4: That's some of those people are calling. I've hired rock
Speaker 4: and roll movers before. They're good. What are they? It's
Speaker 4: a moving company based in like Echo Park, I think,
Speaker 4: and they employ like guys in.
Speaker 3: Bands and rock and rollers.
Speaker 4: So yeah, so what's on the vent.
Speaker 3: It's like there's a skull and cross classic rock and roll.
Speaker 4: So I've hired them, not in a long time, but
Speaker 4: it used to be like really cheap, like one hundred
Speaker 4: and fifty dollars ten years ago. But two dudes show
Speaker 4: up and they are like metal heads with long hair,
Speaker 4: stoned out of their minds. And it's great. Like you
Speaker 4: hang out with these funny dudes all day and they're
Speaker 4: just giggling while they carry your couch.
Speaker 3: That's great. They're kind of I wonder if there are
Speaker 3: a lot of roadies in that business. Like when you're
Speaker 3: off tour, you're used to moving things, right.
Speaker 4: That's probably what their best at. You just be like,
Speaker 4: this couch is like an amp, and yeah, I can
Speaker 4: get get my head behind that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I wonder if they've gotten to like a corporate level
Speaker 3: of like cafe at this point, right, it feels like
Speaker 3: a crossover that's waiting to happen.
Speaker 4: You call rock and roll Movers and you're like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, Rod Stewart showed up. This is unbelievable.
Speaker 3: I broke Rod Stewart's back. Oh boy, Well, what else?
Speaker 3: You know, there's something else I'd like to talk about.
Speaker 3: I actually just want to dive into this. Usually I
Speaker 3: want to avoid the subject, but today I'm in the mood.
Speaker 3: The podcast is called I Said No Gifts to him, right.
Speaker 3: I thought Tim will come by, We'll have a great conversation.
Speaker 3: I adore him. I think he's so funny. What could
Speaker 3: possibly go wrong? I imagine you've got at least one email
Speaker 3: about this podcast. You mentioned knowing about the Backyard, so
Speaker 3: you have some familiarity with the podcast. So it was
Speaker 3: a little bit shocked, right when you showed up with
Speaker 3: a gift back.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I mean I did. I'm familiar with the show,
Speaker 4: and I really intended to not bring gifts, but I
Speaker 4: kind of the think about this gift is really thoughtful,
Speaker 4: and so I you know, like I follow you on
Speaker 4: Instagram and I'm familiar with you with your you and
Speaker 4: your lifestyle and stuff. And then this kind of hit me,
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, I know, I'm violating the
Speaker 4: one rule, right, but it's maybe if it's going to
Speaker 4: be really useful in Bridgers life, maybe it's going to
Speaker 4: kind of make a difference. Uh, maybe you would make
Speaker 4: an exception for me.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you just you thought deeply about Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Was lost in thought. I went for a walk around
Speaker 4: my neighborhood just kind of like looking at the sky.
Speaker 4: I was thinking about this danger I called you know,
Speaker 4: I I checked in with my local priest and I
Speaker 4: was a father. I mean, I'm in a time of
Speaker 4: great turmoil. Can you help me?
Speaker 3: Okay? Well, then totally forgiven.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm giving you a huge pass. Well should I open it?
Speaker 4: I'm talking to the mic from about six feet dollars?
Speaker 4: Should I open it? Here on the podcast? I think
Speaker 4: you should. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh, look at that gift rapp.
Speaker 4: Isn't that beautiful? It's a gorgeous bag. Where did this
Speaker 4: come from? This is the Albertons. I love this.
Speaker 3: Albertson's kind of a rock and No, there's a rock
Speaker 3: and roll Ralphs.
Speaker 4: This is more of a TV writer album.
Speaker 3: This is Hollywood Albertson.
Speaker 4: Yes, this is uh yeah, Los Felis.
Speaker 3: They used to have a The bathroom was kind of
Speaker 3: dedicated to the movies. I don't know if you've ever
Speaker 3: been in that bathroom.
Speaker 4: I've been in that bathroom many times.
Speaker 3: It's been renovated, I believe, but there was a point
Speaker 3: when there was like, it's like Hollywood movies.
Speaker 4: That's that is glamorous. I'm hoping that I could. I'm
Speaker 4: gonna bring a headshot and sign it and see.
Speaker 3: If they'll put it on an, that's a great idea.
Speaker 4: You know what's funny about that bathroom is the code
Speaker 4: like I used to know it, and then they changed
Speaker 4: in and then so I asked like a stock boy,
Speaker 4: like hey, what's good for the bathroom? And he goes
Speaker 4: five to four three two one instead of just five
Speaker 4: four three two one. So I was like, thank you,
Speaker 4: And I was like, does he not know that those
Speaker 4: are just the consect you know, He's like, you say, oh,
Speaker 4: just five for three two one. But then I was like,
Speaker 4: that was just a funny way to say it. And
Speaker 4: then like two weeks later, I was there shopping and
Speaker 4: I overheard somebody else ask the same guy and he
Speaker 4: said five four three two one. So I really I
Speaker 4: think he doesn't know that those numbers are easy to remember,
Speaker 4: abe CD right, So I know this is twisted and
Speaker 4: I want to write it down. That is a very
Speaker 4: funny way. It's so weird, Like I did want to
Speaker 4: ask him. Maybe I'll ask him like do you know
Speaker 4: do you know what like if I write him down
Speaker 4: in one chunk five for three two one, Like I'm like,
Speaker 4: what are these numbers have in common? Like like where
Speaker 4: might you encountered these in nature? Yeah? I can crack this.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, for the listener that's not watching the video,
Speaker 3: it's a floral bag be jeweled. I mean, it's just
Speaker 3: as beautiful as possible.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 3: And it's got the tissue paper the man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, purfle purple shimmering. Mm hmm. Oh, I'm excited for
Speaker 4: you to get this gift. Okay, I'm gonna pull it
Speaker 4: out now.
Speaker 3: It's a dust pan, the Libman brand whisk Broom with
Speaker 3: dust pan.
Speaker 4: So I mentioned your Instagram you have a tendency to
Speaker 4: post like pictures of piles of garbage you've encountered on
Speaker 4: the street. Sure, go on, and I'm an Angelino, I
Speaker 4: live in this town. That I was thinking that could
Speaker 4: be beneficial to all of us that you know, it's
Speaker 4: a very funny bit that you're doing. Sure, but like
Speaker 4: maybe if you were to help kind of clean up
Speaker 4: some of those messes, if you had this in the
Speaker 4: back of your car and the brand name. I don't know,
Speaker 4: I don't know your politics, but I took a swing
Speaker 4: and I think that Libman does maybe describe describe me?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's my Twitter account, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're mixing it up on Blue Sky. So yeah,
Speaker 4: when I saw that, I was like, well, this is
Speaker 4: kind of perfect.
Speaker 3: Where did you buy this? Was this inn Alberson's.
Speaker 4: Purchase, believe it or not. This was two aisles over.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, which came first? The bag or the dust pan?
Speaker 4: Dustpan first? And then I was nervous going to the
Speaker 4: you know, the wrapping paper aisle, like how am I
Speaker 4: going to get this thing? Is there going to be
Speaker 4: a big enough? Oh yeah? Full of.
Speaker 3: And it kind of works out perfectly. I don't think. Actually,
Speaker 3: I do have a dustpan at home, so I'll be
Speaker 3: able to keep that at home and I can put
Speaker 3: this in my car the car on This becomes like
Speaker 3: this is one of those things where I become the
Speaker 3: local character where people are like, that's the guy who
Speaker 3: sweeps up messes on the street.
Speaker 4: People would like that. This would be a really good thing.
Speaker 4: It's like a local community guy, especially because you're a backyard.
Speaker 3: Guy, right right, I'm keeping things clean. But where do
Speaker 3: I take the trash from? I'm that's I'm parking, I'm
Speaker 3: getting the trash. I guess I'm looking for garbage cans.
Speaker 3: And this is a big complaint I have about nearly
Speaker 3: every city in the world, and this must be something.
Speaker 3: There must be some logic behind this, not there aren't
Speaker 3: a lot of garbage cans, yeah, to just throw away
Speaker 3: your trash.
Speaker 4: Right, and that they are piled up with stuff that's
Speaker 4: like clearly from one business that's nearby a lot of
Speaker 4: the time. But then that business is not in charge
Speaker 4: of emptying it. It's like the city's problem, right, and
Speaker 4: there's just there's nothing, there's nowhere to go with it.
Speaker 3: To me, it feels like some they're a simple solution,
Speaker 3: But then I'm also thinking I was in Japan last
Speaker 3: week and there are no garbage cans anywhere, and it's
Speaker 3: just up to people to hold onto their garbage until
Speaker 3: they find a garbage can, essentially.
Speaker 4: And do people do it?
Speaker 3: Yes, it's I mean, it's so clean, But I don't
Speaker 3: know that that would be the same case here.
Speaker 4: I don't think people would hold onto it.
Speaker 3: I mean I think I actually think Los Angeles is
Speaker 3: a very good example of why that doesn't work, because
Speaker 3: there's just garbage on every corner.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: So you're saying, maybe for you, a better gift would
Speaker 4: have been a garbage can, Well, maybe maybe this is incomplete.
Speaker 4: Maybe if I'd given you this plus a waste basket
Speaker 4: a wastebasket.
Speaker 3: But my car does have a car garbage can. But
Speaker 3: I think the idea of bringing street trash into my
Speaker 3: car might be a bridge too far.
Speaker 4: You have a garbage can in your car.
Speaker 3: From this very podcast somebody gave me, and I don't
Speaker 3: know if you have one of these. I talk about
Speaker 3: this thing way too much, but it's changed my life.
Speaker 3: It hangs off the passenger seat, and my car used
Speaker 3: to be an absolute disaster, and now it's stuffed with
Speaker 3: all the receipts and straw papers and all that garbage,
Speaker 3: and I clean it out about every two weeks. And
Speaker 3: now my car is I wouldn't say flawless, because I
Speaker 3: get it washed once a year, but.
Speaker 4: So there are flaws that are crew sure and then
Speaker 4: they're purged.
Speaker 3: But I do have that, and I recommend it to everybody.
Speaker 3: I don't know why this isn't built into every car.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 3: I have a lot of complaints about things not having
Speaker 3: garbage cans.
Speaker 4: I guess you know it's weird. My car. I don't
Speaker 4: accrue anything because I have a rule that's like no,
Speaker 4: just no stuff in my car at all. There's not
Speaker 4: because I have a funny car. I have like a
Speaker 4: little like a thunderbird. It's like a little red convertible.
Speaker 4: This was sort of like my silly California car. But
Speaker 4: I was like, the worst thing would be to driving
Speaker 4: like a car, a car like this inul. So there's
Speaker 4: not even like my trunk is empty. There's not even
Speaker 4: like a sweatshirt in the back for when I get cold.
Speaker 4: There's there's it's an empty car. And I've found that
Speaker 4: if I have a rule, this goes. There's a lot
Speaker 4: of stuff in life like this, Like it's just like
Speaker 4: yes or no. If I were like allowed to leave
Speaker 4: a little mess here there, then it would be trashed.
Speaker 4: So then it's just like not not even a pen,
Speaker 4: not anything in that car?
Speaker 3: Do you like? Will you bring a drink into the car?
Speaker 4: I will. I will do as the people of Japan do.
Speaker 4: Or I will hold onto that drink when I'm done
Speaker 4: with it's done with it and take it out that
Speaker 4: very day. So I'm always drinking drinks in the car,
Speaker 4: non alcoholically.
Speaker 3: Constantly drunk. You smashed into the studio this morning.
Speaker 4: Man, that would I've never driven drunk, nor will I kids,
Speaker 4: But how fun would it be to me? Kind of
Speaker 4: just cruising around with a with a cocktail like a margarita.
Speaker 3: You know, well a cocktail a mocktail, you'll still get
Speaker 3: pulled over.
Speaker 4: Oh man, you're from you You're from Slia. Yes, yes,
Speaker 4: those soda places.
Speaker 3: Oh sure those what is it called, like swim wigs wigs?
Speaker 3: I love the idea. This is gross still leftover.
Speaker 4: If you have your drink is left over from Swig,
Speaker 4: come by, drop it off a swill. We can use that.
Speaker 4: I was. I went to Swig for the first time
Speaker 4: and I was ordering at the counter, but I was
Speaker 4: looking out the takeout window and I saw just like
Speaker 4: happy lady after a happy lady coming and ordering their
Speaker 4: like forty six ound sodas and needing two hands to
Speaker 4: get their sodas and like putting into the car, and
Speaker 4: uh it was. They were like, that's what I would
Speaker 4: be like with a big frozen margarita in my car.
Speaker 4: But they were just having a blast a huge straw,
Speaker 4: huge soda. It's like a fun thing to happen, like
Speaker 4: you're like hugging a barrel. It really is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what was your order there?
Speaker 4: I was doing one that had been like a TikTok
Speaker 4: sensation that week because it was on more Secret Wives
Speaker 4: of Mormon Secret Lives.
Speaker 3: This show no one will ever get right the first time.
Speaker 4: Nobody knows it.
Speaker 3: Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
Speaker 4: A drink somebody's drink order from that show was like
Speaker 4: a big TikTok sensation, so I wanted to try it.
Speaker 4: So it was it was like a kicked up Doctor Pepper.
Speaker 4: It was like Texas tab I think they called it. Oh,
Speaker 4: and it was Doctor Pepper plus coconut cream sauce and
Speaker 4: then some other type of squirt of some other sauce,
Speaker 4: but then strawberry flavor burst balls in the bottle. They
Speaker 4: were like boba sized balls that you suck through a
Speaker 4: fat straw but it was like candy, like Gusher's candy.
Speaker 4: You didn't and the whole thing. You know, like if
Speaker 4: if they had started with sparkling water and then juiced
Speaker 4: it up, maybe some of that would be fun. But
Speaker 4: if you're starting with.
Speaker 3: With an extremely sweet, extremely sweet and then just building
Speaker 3: it from there, it's yeah, it's just I feel like
Speaker 3: you have nowhere to go from Doctor Pepper.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So I had one sip and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: this is actually pretty good, And then the second sip
Speaker 4: was like fucking disgusting. Did you finish it? Not even close?
Speaker 4: And I got I got the big one to be funny,
Speaker 4: but I was throwing out like forty four ounces of soda.
Speaker 3: I've only I think I've been to one of those
Speaker 3: twice when I've been back home and I've ordered like
Speaker 3: the diet version, and I haven't been I've probably gotten
Speaker 3: four SIPs in. I'm like, this is intolerable. This is
Speaker 3: a bad beverage.
Speaker 4: Do they have diet strawberry balls?
Speaker 3: Like no other element of it can.
Speaker 4: Be like sugar syrup pumped into it's.
Speaker 3: The gravy and cream that they're just pouring in there gravy.
Speaker 3: But I feel like the most you can do is
Speaker 3: put a line in it, right, Like otherwise have to
Speaker 3: start with just a like a sparkling water or something.
Speaker 4: And you'd be so boring if you went there and like,
Speaker 4: can I have a lime wedge? Yeah? And that's it.
Speaker 4: Who's this looser?
Speaker 3: I will say. I've like kind of come around about
Speaker 3: like criticizing people for drinking those because, uh, the frappucino
Speaker 3: is the same thing right there. I know so many
Speaker 3: people who drink that shit. They're all horrible absolutely.
Speaker 4: And what's weird is I don't know, do you know
Speaker 4: in the rules of Mormonism, I don't even think there
Speaker 4: is a law against caffeine. It's like hot drinks.
Speaker 3: Wow, you're really uh, you're really educated on this because
Speaker 3: most people are so confused and the fact that you're
Speaker 3: even saying hot drinks is like a very specific thing
Speaker 3: to morrow.
Speaker 4: This was all I did a lot of learning that
Speaker 4: one morning that I went to this place and I
Speaker 4: was had TikTok open while I was there. But like,
Speaker 4: so a frappucino has caffeine, but it's a cold Is
Speaker 4: it that it was a hot drink that then became cold?
Speaker 3: And then see, that's pretty You're onto the logic here,
Speaker 3: because the logic is puzzling, absolutely puzzling. It hot drink
Speaker 3: means coffee or tea, so if it's even if it's iced,
Speaker 3: you can't drink an iced coffee or an iced tea,
Speaker 3: although the iced tea of it is starting to bend
Speaker 3: a little bit for some Mormons who will drink an
Speaker 3: iced green tea or decaffeinated tea, but they won't drink
Speaker 3: no matter what, a decaffeinated coffee.
Speaker 4: And it doesn't matter like cold bruise, not a loophole,
Speaker 4: even if it was.
Speaker 3: Never cold, not a silk coffee.
Speaker 4: What about has Starbucks embraced like you know, because they
Speaker 4: have all the sort of like lemonade and dragonfruit type
Speaker 4: beverages of Starbucks, right, are those popular?
Speaker 3: I think some Mormons will drink those, But then a
Speaker 3: lot of Mormons, I think, are afraid to probably be
Speaker 3: even seen in a Starbucks.
Speaker 4: Right because you're supporting hot drink. You're supporting this big
Speaker 4: hot drink.
Speaker 3: So, but I imagine I think if you looked at the
Speaker 3: books over at Starbucks in Utah, the dragonfruit, lemon lemonade
Speaker 3: or whatever would be probably the most popular, at least
Speaker 3: within the Starbucks world. Right, that's probably their biggest seller
Speaker 3: in Utah.
Speaker 4: I'm just speaking. I believe it. I believe you. You've
Speaker 4: definitely looking at some spreadsheets and grass. The funniest loophole
Speaker 4: type thing that I encountered on that I have a
Speaker 4: friend who is like a ski patroller at Snowbird. So
Speaker 4: he lives in Salt Lake, and I was visiting him
Speaker 4: and we went up to Park City, Okay, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I have a cocktail podcast, Like I'm like a boost dude.
Speaker 4: So he brought me to this whiskey place in Park
Speaker 4: City that he thought I would like, and I did
Speaker 4: like it, and I but I ordered a flight of
Speaker 4: whiskeys where I'm going to taste all four types of
Speaker 4: whiskey that this distillery makes, right, And they brought out
Speaker 4: like the wooden ski that would be a flight, and
Speaker 4: instead of giving me four whiskeys, they had two, and
Speaker 4: then there were two empty slots, and then they were like,
Speaker 4: when you finish these two, we'll bring you the next two.
Speaker 4: But I was all paid. It is one transaction and
Speaker 4: it was one piece of wood. But they just couldn't
Speaker 4: bring me four equally. Yeah, so they could only serve
Speaker 4: me two ounces of whiskey at a time. But it's
Speaker 4: like I wasn't gonna like I tried, you know, like
Speaker 4: as I moved it worked out totally fine. But I
Speaker 4: like knowing that that that was like I remained pure.
Speaker 3: It's because the laws about these things are being made
Speaker 3: by people who don't drink or understand drinking culture, so
Speaker 3: they assume someone like you is just like pounding them
Speaker 3: down as.
Speaker 4: Quickly as moll, like we gotta stop this devil.
Speaker 3: We've got to save this man. Maybe too in he'll
Speaker 3: realize the error of his way.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I've kept get back to LA and I'm
Speaker 4: so like, I'll have two whiskys please, and I'll have
Speaker 4: the next two and fifteen.
Speaker 3: Minutes and then I'll do some hard thinking about my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, those laws none of them make any sense whatsoever.
Speaker 3: And it just seems annoying to people who drank.
Speaker 4: But I wonder, I mean, so for the people that
Speaker 4: are following Mormonism and stuff, I wonder if there's a
Speaker 4: comfort in doing all the stuff but following the laws
Speaker 4: and just feeling like you're in good hands along the way.
Speaker 4: You know, like looking at four shots whiskey might feel
Speaker 4: like what am I doing here? But if it's two
Speaker 4: and two, you're like, like, I did this in the
Speaker 4: responsible way, and I I was holding Jesus's hand the
Speaker 4: whole time.
Speaker 3: I Yeah, I don't understand. It's like, if they have
Speaker 3: a problem with it, just stop it all together, right.
Speaker 3: They obviously can't do that, so they're like putting in
Speaker 3: these weird I don't know.
Speaker 4: It was just funny off, Yeah, to offer a flight
Speaker 4: that I would have never thought when I was in
Speaker 4: Utah that on a menu, there would be something called
Speaker 4: a flight of whiskey, like to do like a sampler
Speaker 4: plant Like I'm fine in La never having a flight
Speaker 4: of anything. So the idea that in Park City they
Speaker 4: do have them, but just.
Speaker 3: With a flight of anything feels like such a weird
Speaker 3: menu move.
Speaker 4: Oh man. I I did the weirdest faux pas recently
Speaker 4: where I was at a German restaurant, a Red Lion,
Speaker 4: and I wanted to try a bunch of different schnops,
Speaker 4: so I ordered for myself a flight of schnops. So
Speaker 4: they gave me four shot glasses, and I was walking
Speaker 4: back to the table with my friends and they looked
Speaker 4: at me and they go toom oh, like I was
Speaker 4: bringing shots for the table. And in that moment I
Speaker 4: realized it was my friend's birthday and I had not
Speaker 4: thought to buy shots or buy him drink or anything.
Speaker 4: And I had to sit back down at the table
Speaker 4: be like, oh no, actually, these are four entirely these
Speaker 4: are four drinks for me. But you know, you guys
Speaker 4: can sit and watch me have my schnapps.
Speaker 3: Did you do anything to correct that?
Speaker 4: I put them in the middle of the tables, like
Speaker 4: anyone wants to try as if we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 4: share everyone. Like mint schnapps is like a sweet lower
Speaker 4: abv liqueur. So I think that the idea is that
Speaker 4: it's like we know them as like like peach schnops
Speaker 4: will just be like some it's like made of grain.
Speaker 4: The alcohol is just like grain alcohol, but then they've
Speaker 4: added sugar and like fake peach flavor.
Speaker 3: It's awful to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that that is nasty. But in Germany they're actually
Speaker 4: like I guess, distilling, Like if you have plumb schnapps,
Speaker 4: they're actually taking a plum and I don't know.
Speaker 3: What they do, and then they leave it alone for long.
Speaker 4: Step back. So it is interesting kind of to like
Speaker 4: drink some plum snaps like it kind of tastes like
Speaker 4: a rotten plum. I mean like for me as any
Speaker 4: if any opportunity to be talking about the alcohol I'm
Speaker 4: drinking is fun, I don't know. And there's like some
Speaker 4: old German ladies that work at that bar that are
Speaker 4: really knowledgeable, so I'll be like, what do you got?
Speaker 3: What were the other three on the flight?
Speaker 4: There was honey, which is tastes like what it sounds like,
Speaker 4: and then there was one herbal that they wouldn't say
Speaker 4: what they're undisclosed. Uh yeah, and like kind of strong
Speaker 4: and kind of disgusting. But then the best one is
Speaker 4: apple and it just tastes like a like a cider
Speaker 4: or something. It was delicious. Okay, that's do you have
Speaker 4: a favorite liquor?
Speaker 1: Hmmm.
Speaker 4: I'm kind of a rum guy because I was like
Speaker 4: it like tiki bar. I'm like a my tie guys.
Speaker 3: Oh sure that feels like your entire vibe.
Speaker 4: I'm wearing a Hawaiian Yes, you're.
Speaker 3: Driving a red convertible, pristine, red convertible.
Speaker 4: Pristine on the inside of fucking mess on the ods.
Speaker 4: Actually you know what. It had hubcaps that that had
Speaker 4: the thunderbird logo on them, and recently I walked out
Speaker 4: and somebody had stolen all four.
Speaker 3: How much could those be worse?
Speaker 4: I don't know how many other like two thousand and
Speaker 4: two Ford Thunderbirds are on the road and my car
Speaker 4: like looks stupid now, but I looked up like to
Speaker 4: buy them because they don't manufacture them, because it's like
Speaker 4: a discontinued car, So it would be like me buying
Speaker 4: some weird discontinued item that's like that a collector would
Speaker 4: be selling me. So it was gonna be one thousand
Speaker 4: dollars to get like these little logo places.
Speaker 3: You're probably going to be buying them from the person
Speaker 3: who stole them from you, exactly.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna set it out. I'm gonna set up a
Speaker 4: little sting operation cats as fucker.
Speaker 3: Oh boy boy, Well, is there anything left we need
Speaker 3: to say about I feel like we haven't even talked
Speaker 3: about the dust pen to be honest.
Speaker 4: Well, I you so you are liberal?
Speaker 3: I am deeply conservative. Oh that's kind of the bedrock
Speaker 3: of this podcast.
Speaker 4: I should have gotten the.
Speaker 3: Right, right, man, We're just this, We're constantly trying to
Speaker 3: defund public education. I've got a lot of I've got
Speaker 3: a big agend on this podcast.
Speaker 4: Okay, well, yeah, I support all that.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Okay, and a podcast roll credits. No, Yes,
Speaker 3: I'm a liberal person. I would like to think, but
Speaker 3: when push comes to shove.
Speaker 4: Who knows.
Speaker 3: I mean, come on, when I'm trapped in a corner,
Speaker 3: maybe I'm deeply conservative, hateful person.
Speaker 4: I'll tell you this. My funny flip flop is I've
Speaker 4: got like sort of like my parents are conservative in
Speaker 4: the way that they like kind of go to churching.
Speaker 4: We don't talk politics, but they're like conservative. But my dad,
Speaker 4: I'm from Woodstock, New York, and my had moved there
Speaker 4: as like a hippie guitar player. Guy wanted to be
Speaker 4: a rock star, and I've seen pictures of him like
Speaker 4: long hair, long beard playing guitar, total hippie man. And
Speaker 4: then when rock and roll didn't work out as a
Speaker 4: career for him in the seventies, he opened like a
Speaker 4: hippie pizza place, okay in Woodstock on the village green,
Speaker 4: like whole wheek crust, wow, cool place, and it did
Speaker 4: well and he made money, and then he became a
Speaker 4: Reagan Republican. Guy started wearing a blazer, Oh no, and
Speaker 4: was is just like I'm a restaurant tour so that
Speaker 4: was like, that's the dad that I grew up with,
Speaker 4: is like a conservative Republican. But it was mainly based
Speaker 4: on like not wanting to pay taxes.
Speaker 3: Right, of course, that's always what it is.
Speaker 4: So if you ever open a restaurant, don't get too
Speaker 4: successful with that. You don't want to have to like
Speaker 4: be like Uncle Sam's taken all my dough pizza do money?
Speaker 3: Does he have any of those hippie ideals left.
Speaker 4: Not at all, and he won. He doesn't even lay
Speaker 4: guitar anymore. Oh what a shame. He gave me the guitar.
Speaker 4: So the guitar I'm always playing in my band is
Speaker 4: my dad's guitar from seventies, because he associates that with like, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, there was a whole it was drugs and
Speaker 4: music and all of it, and I don't want any part.
Speaker 3: Of it, like so many hippies have turned this way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you would think you could just still play
Speaker 4: the if you're just you know, like if you play
Speaker 4: guitar on its own, it's it's not saying anything politically.
Speaker 4: It's the lyrics that are anti Vietnam or whatever. But
Speaker 4: I don't feel like the guitar itself is to blame.
Speaker 4: But he won't touch the thing.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's crazy, like it's cursed. Certainly there's some horrible
Speaker 3: conservative songs he could be playing. Absolutely, I'm trying to
Speaker 3: searching my mind.
Speaker 4: Rascal Flats, Yeah, who was that guy that was like
Speaker 4: went viral last year. Was like out in the backyard strumming,
Speaker 4: and it was there was like some conservative guy a
Speaker 4: song that was like about welfare. Welfare people are too fin.
Speaker 3: Oh, who was that Oliver? Oliver Oliver He's mononym.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oliver, it was Oliver. I bet my dad would
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 3: Wow. That And then that guy up ended up being
Speaker 3: kind of controversial for conservatives right where he's like, well
Speaker 3: that's not what I think.
Speaker 4: I think that heat Like then Fox News loved him
Speaker 4: and stuff, and he was like, I'm like a West
Speaker 4: Virginia weirdo. I don't want to be part of it.
Speaker 3: I believe in nothing.
Speaker 4: And then also actually read a really interesting interview with him,
Speaker 4: like a month later. He was touring and it's kind
Speaker 4: of adorable, like he didn't know how famous he had gotten.
Speaker 4: So he was still playing like small venues, but he
Speaker 4: was like trying to price gouge on the on the
Speaker 4: merch and was like fighting with the club owners of
Speaker 4: these small clubs because he was like give me my money,
Speaker 4: don't you take my money. But I was like, dude,
Speaker 4: you could just you could be headlining festivals, you know,
Speaker 4: like you could go to Nashville and be a billionaire.
Speaker 4: But he was like, I'm charging twenty five dollars for
Speaker 4: that T shirt.
Speaker 3: Now, taking it just out of reach of my family.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So he's like living in like a smite slightly
Speaker 4: larger shack in West Virginia, being like I'm a success.
Speaker 3: He feels kind of like, uh that like the musician
Speaker 3: becoming viral, Like it's like the what was the guy
Speaker 3: with the Golden Voice? The homeless man with the Golden
Speaker 3: Voice or whatever it was. Oh yeah, that was like
Speaker 3: the title of the viral thing and what had ended
Speaker 3: up happening with him.
Speaker 4: It feels like.
Speaker 3: It's always a darkened any viral person.
Speaker 4: I know. I mean, I was just I was in
Speaker 4: a building recently and I like, like this where there's
Speaker 4: a lot of studios, and I saw that it was
Speaker 4: the Talk to a studio.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: So me and my friend we took a picture with
Speaker 4: the sign I think like we were going to be
Speaker 4: guests on Talk To but we weren't. But we just
Speaker 4: thought it was a funny picture and we posted it
Speaker 4: and I had no idea what's been going on with her?
Speaker 4: She released like a meme coin and did like a
Speaker 4: pump and dump and people lost money. People hate her,
Speaker 4: and she was like on the lamp and stuff. She was.
Speaker 4: I think she's back now, But in the moment when
Speaker 4: I posted the picture, people were like, don't go on
Speaker 4: that show. She has screwed a lot of people out
Speaker 4: of their savings.
Speaker 3: Now she's gone too far.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's also funny the people investing their savings in
Speaker 4: Talk Talk to Rock to a coin and we're like
Speaker 4: she when this was our hard earned money and we
Speaker 4: thought we trusted her that.
Speaker 3: Person any person who put their money into that there
Speaker 3: money should be drained by the government or there should
Speaker 3: be like a babysit sitter put in charge of whatever
Speaker 3: they're doing with their finance.
Speaker 4: Yea conservatorships for everybody.
Speaker 3: Yes, wow, I wonder how much longer Sho'll lasts.
Speaker 4: Like I think she's got a long career. She's so good,
Speaker 4: she's you know, she's God. How how miserable would it
Speaker 4: be of like, you know, if you're a comedian you're
Speaker 4: trying to like write more jokes or write your next
Speaker 4: script or whatever. Imagine if you were famous for saying
Speaker 4: hawk to a spin on that thing and then you
Speaker 4: have to I've seen other clips where she has more
Speaker 4: of those, and like, how miserable. Like if you're like
Speaker 4: trying to come up with more of those, or you
Speaker 4: have writers pitching you more of those, you know, like, uh, slurp, slurp,
Speaker 4: suck on that thing, and she's like, yeah, that's actually
Speaker 4: pretty good.
Speaker 3: We're all going to be working for this person.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. I mean I would. I would do
Speaker 4: that job in a heartbeat. I think she would have me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're all looking for health insurance. It's the worst
Speaker 3: business in the world.
Speaker 4: It's the health insurance. This thing is funny. It just
Speaker 4: crossed my mind recently because I've been like, this year
Speaker 4: has been a lot of touring with my band and
Speaker 4: stuff like that, and we're doing good and everything, and
Speaker 4: then I just like, oh, no, I have I have
Speaker 4: to write for if I don't write for television. Yes,
Speaker 4: I've as as adult, I've never paid for health insurance
Speaker 4: because I've been lucky to be getting staff jobs for
Speaker 4: all that. But I'm like, oh, like, I didn't even
Speaker 4: think about that. I have to pop in and write
Speaker 4: some jokes for somebody, somebody at some point, I've.
Speaker 3: Got to find something. Yeah, otherwise wherever well with health
Speaker 3: the health insurance, you know.
Speaker 4: And it's it's kind of funny that the amount of
Speaker 4: I think the WGA, it's like I need to make
Speaker 4: like thirty seven thousand dollars a year whatever to get
Speaker 4: my next year of health insurance. It is very funny
Speaker 4: when during a light year, when you've made like, you know,
Speaker 4: thirty six thousand dollars, you're like, I'm not going to
Speaker 4: make one thousand dollars of union, Like, where is this
Speaker 4: going to come from?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: How's that going to happen for me?
Speaker 3: That's like you have to yeah, where would that? Because
Speaker 3: the amount you would get from another job would probably
Speaker 3: take you right well and comfortable.
Speaker 4: And it would be too much money.
Speaker 3: I just want to make the thirty can write like
Speaker 3: a greeting card or something.
Speaker 4: Just a so.
Speaker 3: Oh what a terrible hawk?
Speaker 4: Tua talk toua.
Speaker 3: Maybe sure, let's get her a show.
Speaker 4: She's very good, she's.
Speaker 3: Ultimately ultimately very good.
Speaker 4: Period. Does she have a name Haley? I think it's Haley.
Speaker 3: That sounds right, also a mononym Oliver and Haley go
Speaker 3: on to.
Speaker 4: Catch Oliver or hall Over.
Speaker 3: Okay, interesting, Okay, well okay, now see I'm thinking as
Speaker 3: a writer for both of these people, and I'm kind
Speaker 3: of pitching myself as one of their staff.
Speaker 4: If you can package them and then they need you
Speaker 4: because you had the idea for them to lab That
Speaker 4: is funny I've worked on a couple of things where
Speaker 4: it was like somebody's grandfathered in because they were part
Speaker 4: of the idea for like a very long time ago, right,
Speaker 4: and then they just get to be like in the
Speaker 4: room for a thing happening, and wow, you just have
Speaker 4: to package some stuff, say you you and you you guys.
Speaker 3: And then everyone else on the staff hates that first
Speaker 3: and it talks about.
Speaker 4: Them nonstaff, and they don't give.
Speaker 3: They get to show up and do whatever they want.
Speaker 3: They don't care how many text threads are about.
Speaker 4: They're like, go for it. I'm getting no texts. That's
Speaker 4: the dream. Look at the phone, just that the messages
Speaker 4: app is empty.
Speaker 3: No one cares about. Okay, well, I'm thrilled. I feel
Speaker 3: like at some point you said, are you liberal? And
Speaker 3: did we talk about that? This feels like a long
Speaker 3: forgotten dream.
Speaker 4: Did we? Did we say out loud that the brand
Speaker 4: name is Yes, that's what's.
Speaker 3: We have past guests, the Libman Brothers have been on
Speaker 3: this very podcast. Yes what two very funny men named
Speaker 3: the Libman's.
Speaker 4: Okay, but they're not these ones.
Speaker 3: They're not these as far as I know, they're not
Speaker 3: connected to this brand.
Speaker 4: We don't know.
Speaker 3: It might be a distant relative, or maybe they're hiding
Speaker 3: it from maybe they're a nepo babies in the worst way.
Speaker 3: And I wonder if the libman owners are.
Speaker 4: Conservative interesting feel really dirty?
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, they're constantly trying to change their name. But
Speaker 3: lib Man that feels like a good novelty blue Sky account?
Speaker 3: Are you on blue Sky?
Speaker 4: My my podcast is on blue Sky, but I'm not
Speaker 4: out there just yet.
Speaker 3: How is it you know, I'm not. I have an
Speaker 3: account and I've never used it.
Speaker 4: I thought for a second that blue Sky would be like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is a return to silly old Twitter where we're
Speaker 4: being funny, Like that's what I know you from, Like
Speaker 4: we used to Like.
Speaker 3: You're the last Twitter account that I found funny.
Speaker 4: Really, so I kind of shut it down.
Speaker 3: You're the only one where I'd be like, oh, this
Speaker 3: is the only person on here that's still funny.
Speaker 4: Well, thank you. But then also it's funny that I
Speaker 4: feel like I was being like, hey, I'm silly in here,
Speaker 4: and then I kind of I fell off and turned
Speaker 4: dark and was fighting with people like how could you not?
Speaker 4: It's an awful website. So when I first looked at
Speaker 4: blue Sky. I was like, oh, maybe this will be
Speaker 4: silly old Twitter, and mainly what I saw was like
Speaker 4: just Democrats being like, oh, it's so nice to be
Speaker 4: away from the conservatives, and then still just like lots
Speaker 4: of talk about why they don't like Trump, and it
Speaker 4: just felt like, You're like, well, it's the definition of
Speaker 4: an echo chamber if we received from the place where
Speaker 4: the conservatives are so that we can talk about politics
Speaker 4: in peace.
Speaker 3: Oh so boring.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's boring.
Speaker 3: Your Twitter account went Yeah, there was Beverly Mysterious.
Speaker 4: That was celebrity gossip. Yeah, Linda underwear that was kind
Speaker 4: of raunchy stuff about her husband.
Speaker 3: And there was one more, wasn't there.
Speaker 4: I mean, at least one. I'd tried a thousand more
Speaker 4: and if they didn't get any results, I would change
Speaker 4: it again. But those were the ones that stuck. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And then the last one, I think it's still this
Speaker 4: to this day. I changed it like I didn't know
Speaker 4: what this meant. I was trying to be artistic. I
Speaker 4: changed the name to Manders, and I was like, I
Speaker 4: was like, what's Manders? And then I started being like,
Speaker 4: Mander's coming soon, And then I don't know what it was,
Speaker 4: and I didn't know if it was a name or
Speaker 4: a thing or whatever. So on there. Now it's still
Speaker 4: like Mander's and there's just like, hasn't been a tweet
Speaker 4: for years? Oh what a shame?
Speaker 3: What I mean, it's kind of I feel free that
Speaker 3: I don't have to do it anymore. Yeah, but there
Speaker 3: was kind of a fun element to it.
Speaker 4: Well, sometimes I think of a joke that's like, you know,
Speaker 4: a short sentence and I don't know where to type it,
Speaker 4: and I'm not on threads and Blue Sky feels like
Speaker 4: not the right place. I'm like, where do I put
Speaker 4: the sentence? I texted to a friend and ask them
Speaker 4: if they laughed.
Speaker 3: You're doing all these open mic yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: Can I have thirteen seconds and then like me at
Speaker 4: twelve seconds and then I'll finish the sentence.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know where any of that goes anymore.
Speaker 3: I guess you could slowly write a book or something.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, That's what I'll do every day, one sentence
Speaker 4: and then when I read it on like this was
Speaker 4: a perfect novel. Oh my god, what a moving story.
Speaker 3: It only took forty years, so right, Uh, well, I
Speaker 3: think it's time to play a game. What game should
Speaker 3: we play? I'm gonna name two. I'm gonna give you
Speaker 3: an option. We can play a game called Gift Master
Speaker 3: or a game called Gifter a Curse.
Speaker 4: Gifter a curse. It has a.
Speaker 3: Darkness, yeah, shadowy Okay. I need a number between one
Speaker 3: and ten from you.
Speaker 4: Seven. Okay.
Speaker 3: I have to do some light calculating to get our
Speaker 3: game pieces. So right now, you can promote, recommend, do
Speaker 3: whatever you want. I'll be right back.
Speaker 4: Uh all right. I write for a show called Digman
Speaker 4: on Comedy Central and Paramount Plus. Watch that show. I'm
Speaker 4: in a band called the Sloppy Boys, and I have
Speaker 4: a cocktail podcast called the Sloppy Boys checks out.
Speaker 3: Okay, it's gonna take longer for me, So.
Speaker 4: That's all my credits. I've got a Patreon podcast behind
Speaker 4: a paywall called the Sloppy Boys blowout five dollars a month.
Speaker 4: You gotta listen to that show. Okay.
Speaker 3: Next, this is my new bit.
Speaker 4: You're writing a novel? What else can you check me
Speaker 4: out on.
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 4: I'm not on Threads, I'm not on Blue Sky. I'm
Speaker 4: on TikTok, but I haven't ever ever posted any videos.
Speaker 4: I just sort of scroll swig content very good.
Speaker 3: I almost heard nothing because again I'm out of my mind.
Speaker 3: But those are find Tim wherever you go.
Speaker 4: Tim is so funny.
Speaker 3: Uh, listener, I have all the you know, I recommend
Speaker 3: myself in this podcast all the time. Find the Instagram
Speaker 3: and I have. I'm watching Little House on the Prairie.
Speaker 3: If we've already talked about that, get into it, the
Speaker 3: old one, they're making a new one. I'm not involved.
Speaker 3: I should have been, despite the fact that I only
Speaker 3: started watching the show a month ago. But I feel
Speaker 3: like I know what Little House should be and the
Speaker 3: fact that no one's reached out is disgusting.
Speaker 4: Michael Landon, Yes, so I've never seen an episode. Don't
Speaker 4: know that guy, but there's there's a gravitas around like
Speaker 4: the way people talk about him. They're like, Michael land
Speaker 4: is that coming across as he extremely charismatic?
Speaker 3: He ah, yes, he's a very he's dreamy and he
Speaker 3: obviously was like I think he had a lot of
Speaker 3: control over the show. And you see him without his
Speaker 3: shirt on pretty frequently for a show that's like for
Speaker 3: Mormon families to watch on Sunday.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, he'll.
Speaker 3: Be like in with no shirt and suspenders.
Speaker 4: And is he in really good shape.
Speaker 3: He's a great show.
Speaker 4: He looks incredible. So he was an EP in just
Speaker 4: every week. His idea was like, I guess maybe my
Speaker 4: shirt comes off.
Speaker 3: What if I was hard at work and the beating
Speaker 3: sun and I didn't have a shirt.
Speaker 4: I remember thinking about when I was a kid, I
Speaker 4: saw Dances with Wolves and you see Kevin Costner's butt,
Speaker 4: and then I heard that he directed that movie, and
Speaker 4: as a kid, I was like, he chose to show
Speaker 4: his butt. Like I was watching that movie thinking like
Speaker 4: they forced them the show. But it is funny if
Speaker 4: you're directing a thing, or if you have any say
Speaker 4: and you're like, I'm going to be sexy in the show.
Speaker 3: It's so fine. It's such a weird move. And I also,
Speaker 3: this is something that I can't say for sure, but
Speaker 3: my boyfriend was doing some researching about Michael Landon and
Speaker 3: apparently there was that decent amount of sexual harassment going
Speaker 3: on on the show, which when you think about how
Speaker 3: family friendly it is, it's a weird thing to think
Speaker 3: about him having these wonderful moments with this family, then
Speaker 3: the cameras turn off and the.
Speaker 4: Baby and then everyone's in like old timey garbine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nothing about it makes any sense. Okay, this is
Speaker 3: how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to
Speaker 3: name three things. You're going to tell me if they're
Speaker 3: a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll
Speaker 3: tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are
Speaker 3: corrects and you can lose.
Speaker 4: I hope I win.
Speaker 3: I hope you win too. I'm rooting for so to win,
Speaker 3: do I have to get two of the three right?
Speaker 4: You have to get all three right.
Speaker 3: Yeah. There's a very short list of winners, shorter list
Speaker 3: of losers, and then just a bunch of people who
Speaker 3: have done all kinds of things. So do whatever you want.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: This first one is from our Mega tier of listeners.
Speaker 3: Someone named Fairy Shepherd, and I can't imagine that's their
Speaker 3: real name, But who knows? Gift or a curse? Palindromes gift.
Speaker 4: I like to come across a palindrome that you know,
Speaker 4: not somebody said, some big fancy one that everybody knows.
Speaker 4: But if it's just like I catch it in the wild,
Speaker 4: that's actually a palindrome. Makes me feel smart, and it's
Speaker 4: a gift to feel smart. Wrong, that's a curse.
Speaker 3: That's I come across one of these things, and I think, why,
Speaker 3: why don't we just put a.
Speaker 4: Different word there? You know the things. I can't walk
Speaker 4: down the street anymore. They'll see these things.
Speaker 3: No, it's lazy. If you see a palindrome, you should
Speaker 3: and you're writing things down, find a synonym there to
Speaker 3: put for the second word. I don't want to see
Speaker 3: mirror words anywhere I go.
Speaker 4: Okay, so instead of madam, I'm Adam.
Speaker 3: Yes, it should be madam, I'm Brent.
Speaker 4: I agree, it's better. Yes, that is better, better writing,
Speaker 4: better writing, for sure.
Speaker 3: Yes, A man a plan?
Speaker 4: What is that one?
Speaker 3: A man a plan A canal Panama? Is that?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, a man a plant canal? There we go
Speaker 4: way better. See, this is why we get the wa points.
Speaker 3: We're working for. Hawk to a gal. Yes, Holly is
Speaker 3: that her name? Haley? Haley, Hailey, Holly Oliver.
Speaker 4: That's all over. Don't look to it, do not look
Speaker 4: into it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you've got that one wrong and everyone is
Speaker 3: not on your side anymore.
Speaker 4: But I'm still gonna do the next two just because
Speaker 4: I have heart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Adam, because you're a good guy, all right. The
Speaker 3: second one is from a listener named Andy gift her
Speaker 3: a curse black tie optional.
Speaker 4: This is a curse, and I'll tell you why. People
Speaker 4: read it, and they just think black tie optional means
Speaker 4: optional black tie. If I want to wear a tux,
Speaker 4: I'll wear a tux. If I don't, I don't. But
Speaker 4: it's confusing because black tie optional is kind of actually
Speaker 4: just the name of its own category. And if you
Speaker 4: google it, it's like it's like saying cocktail formal but
Speaker 4: before black tie is black tie optional. It's a very confusing.
Speaker 4: It's the most commonly misunderstood one. If I see black
Speaker 4: tie optional, I know I'm not wearing a tuxedo, but
Speaker 4: I'm confused about what suit I'm gonna wear.
Speaker 3: Correct. I hate this thing. I hate I need to
Speaker 3: be given a clear directive first, and I also hate
Speaker 3: a dress code in general. Don't tell me to anything.
Speaker 3: Just let me show up. I don't want to. I
Speaker 3: don't want to walk into a thing thinking did I
Speaker 3: get the rule?
Speaker 4: Correct? But are you never looking around at the people
Speaker 4: in shorts sayings under dressed?
Speaker 3: Well, of course, let me do that on my own time.
Speaker 3: Let me be free to judge and make my own rules.
Speaker 3: I don't need. I'm already at your stupid event. Don't
Speaker 3: give me another assignment.
Speaker 4: I just went out to dinner. I was in New
Speaker 4: York for my birthday and I went out to Ruth's
Speaker 4: Chris Steakhouse family and my sister was coming straight from work.
Speaker 4: So she was like, worried if she was dressed up enough,
Speaker 4: and I was like, don't worry. I wanted her to come,
Speaker 4: so I'm like, don't worry. It's Ruth Chris. You can
Speaker 4: wear whatever you want. I'm wearing a button down shirt
Speaker 4: but no blazer or anything, so wear whatever you want.
Speaker 4: So I was saying like, yeah, you should be able
Speaker 4: to wear whatever you want. And then she came and
Speaker 4: she was dressed sort of casually, but I was like,
Speaker 4: you look great. This is great. Then we got in there,
Speaker 4: I saw a guy with a baseball cap. I was
Speaker 4: grossed out. I was like, what the fuck it's my birthday.
Speaker 4: You were in a baseball cap. It's a steakhouse.
Speaker 3: Take that hat off.
Speaker 4: This church they did tell them to do. They did, yeah,
Speaker 4: and I think that's the only thing they would enforce.
Speaker 4: Like they were like, sir, we do have dress. We
Speaker 4: didn't mind taking the hat off. And he happily took
Speaker 4: it off, so it was not I didn't have to
Speaker 4: get involved.
Speaker 3: This is what I'm gonna say to this. If you
Speaker 3: were a a national chain of any type of restaurant
Speaker 3: or anything, you shouldn't be able to have a dress code.
Speaker 3: I think that people should. Once you become a national chain,
Speaker 3: the shine is off. People can show up in boxers
Speaker 3: and tank tops.
Speaker 4: But does that discourage people from spending money? My I
Speaker 4: got a ribbi that was all a cart seventy nine dollars, right,
Speaker 4: I hate to hear it? So am I going to
Speaker 4: spend that kind of money? Silly money? Stupid amount of money.
Speaker 4: If there's baseball caps.
Speaker 3: Being surrounded by trash.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or baseball players. I don't know. He could have
Speaker 4: been a professional baseball player like Shield, He's like, what
Speaker 4: do I miss? We were in extra innings.
Speaker 3: For me, it would encourage me to spend more if
Speaker 3: I was allowed to dress like garbage, because I'd be
Speaker 3: trying to impress everybody. But well, I got the money.
Speaker 4: I mean that is the cool move. To be the
Speaker 4: casual guy with the most money is.
Speaker 3: A cool that's very la thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, La.
Speaker 3: There is no rest code anywhere. That's one thing to
Speaker 3: know about this city, in particular, if you show up
Speaker 3: in sweatpants, you're probably the richest person.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and and that you were embarrassed to like I
Speaker 4: was invited to dinner at SOHO House by a guy
Speaker 4: who's a member, and I dressed up and I felt
Speaker 4: like a door.
Speaker 3: Oh you feel like yeah, absolutely, like an orphan exactly that.
Speaker 4: It was like this guy's really I looked like I
Speaker 4: was going to church.
Speaker 3: Yes, Oh, the worst feeling in the world. Okay, well
Speaker 3: you got that one correct.
Speaker 4: Very nice.
Speaker 3: You're kind of winning back people's favor. This final one
Speaker 3: is from a listener named Emily Gift or a Curse,
Speaker 3: a radio host takes the opportunity on a musician's birthday
Speaker 3: to tell us there would be age though they've been
Speaker 3: dead for years.
Speaker 4: Gift, why interesting? I want to know some of these
Speaker 4: rocks ares live real long, and if they had all
Speaker 4: kept on living, I want to know where they're at.
Speaker 4: How do I stack up? How how how long I'm
Speaker 4: in a band?
Speaker 3: Are your rocks are? Just?
Speaker 4: I want to know how long? No, it is funny that,
Speaker 4: like I'm not gonna do the math now, but if
Speaker 4: you told me how old Jimmy Hendrix would be today,
Speaker 4: I'd be interested in that three hundred. That's interesting. So
Speaker 4: he was really old when he needed to die when
Speaker 4: he died, fantastic.
Speaker 3: My god, he didn't die too young. He died too old.
Speaker 4: He's like two and fifty.
Speaker 3: People were begging him to die, or.
Speaker 4: Like, we're tired of this guy, Jimmy, you've gone too far,
Speaker 4: and now he's playing guitar. He's been around for two
Speaker 4: and fifty years and now he's playing guitar.
Speaker 3: He picked up something very late. No, you're correct. I
Speaker 3: think this is a gift. I love a little trivia fact.
Speaker 3: I love being reminded of mortality in general. I love
Speaker 3: just a song being given a little.
Speaker 4: Bit of spookiness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to hear he would have been this age, but
Speaker 3: he's now ash. I think that's a nice thing to
Speaker 3: add on pop radio.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then it makes you think of his or
Speaker 4: like if he's buried in the ground and we're thinking
Speaker 4: about modern day him, the soul has left his body. Yeah,
Speaker 4: add something to the music.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're suddenly so distracted, you're driving off the road.
Speaker 3: It's so disorienting.
Speaker 4: I hate when I'm driving and I stay on the road.
Speaker 4: That's just the words so boring. Everybody's doing that.
Speaker 3: Come on, let me swerve, let me hit something something,
Speaker 3: Come on, No, I think it's a true gift. And
Speaker 3: we love those DJs, and well, if any of them
Speaker 3: still exist, I think most of them are just one
Speaker 3: robot on Jack f M at this point.
Speaker 4: We love those robots.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we love those robot DJs telling us about Actually
Speaker 3: it's probably a robot bragging about not being able to
Speaker 3: die and mortal gloating.
Speaker 4: They're like, you know, Bradley Noel from Sublime is long dead,
Speaker 4: but here I am living.
Speaker 3: Forever Bradley Noel r I p he would probably be
Speaker 3: about sixty four. Yeah, that's right, that's almost right.
Speaker 4: And that's actually if that's right, it's extraly interesting because
Speaker 4: there's the Paul McCartney song when I'm sixty four?
Speaker 3: Like that, right, so again, nobody look into that. I
Speaker 3: bet he would probably be, how probably fifty three at
Speaker 3: this point, don't you think.
Speaker 4: No less interesting than fifty? Are there any songs about
Speaker 4: being fifty three?
Speaker 3: When I'm fifty three? Did Paul McCartney do one for
Speaker 3: every age? When I'm an unremarkable age? Sixty four was
Speaker 3: kind of a bad age.
Speaker 4: What was he thinking? Yeah, I don't know. He didn't
Speaker 4: give hi himself enough time, like he very quickly then
Speaker 4: became sixty four, and everyone's like, ah.
Speaker 3: You idiot. But I guess at the time in the sixties,
Speaker 3: sixty four was that was much older. Because now I
Speaker 3: think I feel like sixty four is almost middle age,
Speaker 3: like late middle age.
Speaker 4: But at the time it was probably like grandpa. Right.
Speaker 4: I just looked up do you know the actor Blair Underwood.
Speaker 3: I know that name.
Speaker 4: That means he's like a good looking actor guy from
Speaker 4: the nineties, And I just saw him in a commercial
Speaker 4: and he looked fantastic, and I was like, wonder how
Speaker 4: old he is. He looked him up and he was sixty. Wow.
Speaker 4: So now you're like, you could be like a sixty four.
Speaker 4: I mean, Brad Pitt's sixty probably. Yeah, so sixty four
Speaker 4: is not even old man anymore.
Speaker 3: No, you look great, you look fantastic. So Paul McCartney
Speaker 3: really biffed that one bad musician ultimately just a bad musician. Yeah,
Speaker 3: no good at anything he ever did.
Speaker 4: It sort of overshadowed everything else.
Speaker 3: Unearned fame. Uh, kind of a loser. Okay, Well you
Speaker 3: got two out of three. Not too bad.
Speaker 4: I feel good. So I didn't win, but I you.
Speaker 3: Got sixty six percent, so you I think it's a
Speaker 3: D minus. Great, fantastic, Honalast you honals has a gift
Speaker 3: or curse which they'll present to both of us and
Speaker 3: we have to speak to it and then we'll see.
Speaker 3: This is kind of the final nail. That's not a
Speaker 3: nail in the coffin. It's the final round, holyast, what's
Speaker 3: going on?
Speaker 5: Gift or curse? Sing along screenings at a movie theater.
Speaker 4: I gotta say curse because I've never been to one
Speaker 4: that I've never been attracted to go to one. And
Speaker 4: if if I if I want to sing along with music,
Speaker 4: I want to hear my voice, not some jag off.
Speaker 4: You know I did. I. I saw the Era's Taylor
Speaker 4: Swift movie twice in the theater and everyone was up
Speaker 4: and dancing, and that was fun, and I'm a Taylor
Speaker 4: Swift fan, so I enjoyed myself. But when people were singing,
Speaker 4: I was like, what kind of want to hear the lady? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 4: you know the lady lady. Yeah. I think it is.
Speaker 3: Well, let me let me just give it some quick
Speaker 3: thought here I give.
Speaker 4: It some thought. You want me to plug more projects.
Speaker 3: If you wouldn't mind. Just what else have you been
Speaker 3: working on?
Speaker 4: Jesus Christ, I've been you know. I brought new new
Speaker 4: curtains from my home and they're emerald green, and I'm
Speaker 4: not feeling great about it.
Speaker 3: Oh, that seems like a bold choice.
Speaker 4: It's too bold for me.
Speaker 3: That's a big sexy choice.
Speaker 4: It was intended to be, but it's Backfuck, it's a mess.
Speaker 3: I'm going to say curse as well. I I do
Speaker 3: not want anyone encouraged to be making noise in public
Speaker 3: at a time. I don't and I don't want them
Speaker 3: to have that freedom. I don't want them to feel
Speaker 3: that they have any opportunity. And I think that that
Speaker 3: can bleed into regular non singing screenings and people start
Speaker 3: to get confused.
Speaker 4: People. Most people are stupid.
Speaker 3: And we'll start to think I can sing whenever I
Speaker 3: want and people want to hear me. No one wants
Speaker 3: to hear you. I hate when people say anything or
Speaker 3: sing anything in unison. It makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, when
Speaker 3: I'm asked to yell along with other people, I'm silent.
Speaker 3: I don't like that feeling. I don't like cheering. I
Speaker 3: don't like I think that people have to stop it
Speaker 3: in general, curse top to bottom. You won't catch me
Speaker 3: in one of these things.
Speaker 4: I you know, it's funny when you say people sing
Speaker 4: in uise, and I really when people sing happy birthday.
Speaker 4: I hate hearing people being off pitch. I'm so not
Speaker 4: I'm in a real scrappy band and I'm not a
Speaker 4: Oh really, are are you a tone deaf?
Speaker 3: That's what I've been told?
Speaker 4: Really? Okay, so when when it's time to sing happy birthday?
Speaker 4: Are you ever the first one being like hey everyone, ah,
Speaker 4: follow me?
Speaker 3: No, I'm more like this, yeah, yeah, as quietly as possible.
Speaker 4: I Uh, I'm a follower as well, because I'm like,
Speaker 4: I don't know the range of the people in this room,
Speaker 4: what what not? Are we gonna start it? I'm gonna
Speaker 4: start too high, I'm gonna start too long. But like, yeah,
Speaker 4: when when the public is singing together or clapping together
Speaker 4: or anything, I and I'm so not like a fancy
Speaker 4: musician or anything, but I do like look at the
Speaker 4: person who's doing it wrong and thrown it off.
Speaker 3: There's just something kind of inherently dorky about like shouting
Speaker 3: in unison to me, it's something I don't know what
Speaker 3: why it makes me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 4: You're like, if we're all singing together, it means we
Speaker 4: all know it, so then why do it just think
Speaker 4: of it? I just think this quietly. That's what they
Speaker 4: should do. Oh this was funny at that steakhouse when
Speaker 4: it was my birthday, Like my mom had done the
Speaker 4: cute thing and told the hostess thing, it's Tim's birthday. Okay.
Speaker 4: During my entree, the hostess walks over and says, Tim,
Speaker 4: we hear it's your birthday, and we'd like, we'd like
Speaker 4: to thank you very much for spending with us. And
Speaker 4: she hands me a card and I'm like, thank you,
Speaker 4: And I look at it. On the front it says
Speaker 4: happy Birthday. I open it up. It says happy birthday
Speaker 4: Tim from the staff for chris Seakhouse. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 4: it didn't say like it was. It wasn't a gift card.
Speaker 4: And then dessert came out, no candle and no cake,
Speaker 4: know anything.
Speaker 3: So their policy, wow, quiet quiet, they want to keep
Speaker 3: that as.
Speaker 4: Maybe my mom has said it's my son's birthday, but
Speaker 4: let's keep this discreet.
Speaker 3: Please don't embarrass up.
Speaker 4: It was done so like, so discreet, like it had
Speaker 4: been requested that it was quiet. But I was like,
Speaker 4: why do anything? And I certainly didn't want a restaurant
Speaker 4: to sing to me. But then it was also weird
Speaker 4: that it was. It was just nothing.
Speaker 3: For all we know, your mom requested that guy's hat
Speaker 3: get taken off, asked him to take that off.
Speaker 4: It's my son's birthday. The card says like, we removed
Speaker 4: the hat. We hope you're happy. And I got to
Speaker 4: say that guy wants his hack came off beautiful head
Speaker 4: of hair, gorgeous. I was loving looking at him, just
Speaker 4: a glorious.
Speaker 3: On alas, how did we do? It's a gift, their gift.
Speaker 5: The gift not because I want to be there, because
Speaker 5: we finally have a place to put all the insufferable theater.
Speaker 3: Lock the doors, the doors, you.
Speaker 5: Know, Throw some food in there, they'll be fine. Throw
Speaker 5: some uh some audiobook versions of Babs's recent memoir they
Speaker 5: they'll they'll be totally okay in there. This now they're
Speaker 5: encouraged to do the thing that they've been doing at
Speaker 5: Denny's at midnight.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, just where.
Speaker 4: It gota know, this feels like segregation kind of. They
Speaker 4: can do what they.
Speaker 3: Want to, just keep it away from singing children away.
Speaker 5: And I love I have many I have many friends
Speaker 5: who are theater kids.
Speaker 3: But we all do.
Speaker 5: I mean everybody in this this building, probably, but let's
Speaker 5: be let's be real. They need to do what they
Speaker 5: do in private. And I'm not ashamed to say that.
Speaker 3: Yes, I have plenty of enthusiastic performer friends, and that
Speaker 3: doesn't mean I can't hate their energy and vibe altogether. Well,
Speaker 3: I hate to hear that we were wrong, but I
Speaker 3: feel like we're we all kind of got to the
Speaker 3: spirit of this.
Speaker 4: It was still a compelling conversation.
Speaker 3: It was a gorgeous conversation, and no one can complain
Speaker 3: at all.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Onalise.
Speaker 3: This is a final segment of the podcast.
Speaker 4: People are We're going to do?
Speaker 3: People are sending in voicemails or sending in emails, all
Speaker 3: sorts of things to I said, no gifts at gmail
Speaker 3: dot com. However they want to get in touch, They're
Speaker 3: getting in touch as long as they're not calling me personally.
Speaker 3: We're going to listen to a question. Will you help
Speaker 3: me answer a question?
Speaker 4: Yes? All right?
Speaker 6: Analise hit it Hi Bridger and Tolerated guest. This is
Speaker 6: Beth from Portland.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 6: I am a gen X hairdresser who is very tired
Speaker 6: and is wondering if there's another career that I might
Speaker 6: look into, maybe as a side hustle, maybe as a
Speaker 6: whole new career.
Speaker 3: And I thought who.
Speaker 6: Better to ask than Bridger? So what should I do
Speaker 6: instead of hair.
Speaker 3: Nails? Okay? The podcast is over.
Speaker 4: Easy?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's very clear.
Speaker 4: Well softball nails? Absolutely?
Speaker 3: Uh? Okay, Well, I'm actually a sensing I'm a little
Speaker 3: confused because here she is complaining about being tired, blah
Speaker 3: blah blah, and then it's saying should it be a
Speaker 3: side hustle? Should I add something to my plate?
Speaker 4: Yeah? That's not what you do when you're tired. I
Speaker 4: think you like, maybe you focus on your personal life.
Speaker 4: It's not a career change.
Speaker 3: Right, So what does she really want ultimately other than
Speaker 3: a tention on a podcast.
Speaker 4: I think it's reinvest in your art. It is. I
Speaker 4: think you stay as a hairdresser, but you've been maybe
Speaker 4: given the maybe give some more adventurous cuts, interesting, Maybe
Speaker 4: start talking some people into some new new looks. If
Speaker 4: you've lost your inspiration that's on you, and you got
Speaker 4: to explore. Maybe go on a trip around the world,
Speaker 4: see some interesting hairstyles. Get inspired.
Speaker 3: First of all, blame yourself. Yes, adventurous cuts is a
Speaker 3: good name for it, so.
Speaker 4: They're not We're not saying they're good.
Speaker 3: They're adventurous.
Speaker 4: We know there's fantastic Sam, but this is adventurous. Best.
Speaker 4: Where do you get your haircut? I go to fellow
Speaker 4: barber and those feelis formerly Rudi's right, But I've never
Speaker 4: I'm forty two and I've just never figured out how,
Speaker 4: like how to do haircuts, Like I wait until it's
Speaker 4: too long. Then I go without an appointment to a
Speaker 4: strange man who cuts my hair, and I'm never going
Speaker 4: to the same person. I describe what I want, they
Speaker 4: don't they cut it, Like all my hair's gone. I
Speaker 4: look dumb for two weeks, and then after two weeks,
Speaker 4: I look like myself again. I've done that every three
Speaker 4: months for forty two years. Wow, that's impressive, thank you.
Speaker 4: That's very passive. But I've never like people are like, oh,
Speaker 4: have my guy he comes over to your house, or
Speaker 4: like cost to your house. There's a lot of that. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't want that.
Speaker 3: I know, I want to go to the place. I
Speaker 3: want to smell the bar beside.
Speaker 4: I don't want him to see my Emerald curtains. That's harass.
Speaker 3: And then I'll get an idea about who you are
Speaker 3: and then give you that haircut.
Speaker 4: No, no, I'm not one of these Emerald guys.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's a very specific cut.
Speaker 4: I'm a good, honest guy.
Speaker 3: No, I think this is a good, good advice. Beth
Speaker 3: travels the world. She's getting all sorts of new ideas
Speaker 3: for cuts, exotic cuts, adventurous cuts. She gets back to
Speaker 3: a great clips.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you you you you talk people in and stuff.
Speaker 4: They come in for the same one cut and you
Speaker 4: have about bangs. You know, you're you're the oh I had.
Speaker 4: I actually had a guy at Rudy's fellow try to
Speaker 4: I always just get the same haircut and my my
Speaker 4: hair parts on this side, like naturally, so I've always
Speaker 4: done that. And the guy was like, Tim, can you
Speaker 4: pitch you something? I was like, yeah, well, what He's like,
Speaker 4: no part? I was like, what do you mean. He's like,
Speaker 4: it's just sort of like thrown forward and it's just
Speaker 4: sort of like this, and then he kind of puts
Speaker 4: my hair in that like configuration, but he hasn't cut
Speaker 4: it yet, and he's like, he's like, so I would
Speaker 4: cut it so that it doesn't fall in any one way.
Speaker 4: And then I was just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: this is good for a future haircut. I think I'm
Speaker 4: not there yet, but thank you, thank you for this,
Speaker 4: but yeah yeah next time. So uncomfortable, I know, like, no,
Speaker 4: it's hard to say. It's like like at a restaurant
Speaker 4: if the waiter recommends something and you don't have that record,
Speaker 4: but this one like he was really excited about this,
Speaker 4: so I just have like, yeah, that's so cool. No,
Speaker 4: that's so cool that we're not doing that.
Speaker 3: I would love to get a picture of my haircutter.
Speaker 3: I feel like they're always taking my direction, like right,
Speaker 3: I like the idea of an objective source looking at
Speaker 3: me as someone who doesn't hate themselves.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, it's their feedback in general. One time,
Speaker 4: when I was like a teenager, I was getting my
Speaker 4: haircut at the mall and I was like, she was like,
Speaker 4: what do you think about the sideburn length? And I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, you could take my sideburns off, and
Speaker 4: then she goes, I actually wouldn't do that. I was like,
Speaker 4: what do I mean? And she's like, so you have
Speaker 4: sort of like a wider face, and in what you do,
Speaker 4: if you have a wider face, you don't want to
Speaker 4: go too high with the sideburns. Uh, it'll accentuate that
Speaker 4: with and uh like it hurt my feelings for two seconds,
Speaker 4: but then I've had like long sideburns ever since. That's good.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's a professional's advice. I learned something. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and you're looking at me thinking of this guy has
Speaker 4: got a long, narrow face, you know, arrow, the floor.
Speaker 3: Cracking behind him.
Speaker 4: It's weird. I like, I look like that McDonald's moon man.
Speaker 3: It's a problem, but really like it's the dentist doesn't
Speaker 3: ask for your advice.
Speaker 4: Like I would like to do it. I have some
Speaker 4: yellow teeth. Actually, you know, white would work well for you.
Speaker 4: Rotting teeth kind of that's not to look for you.
Speaker 4: You have a wide face, so your teeth should not rot.
Speaker 4: I will say this.
Speaker 3: Uh. I feel like for men, you kind of get
Speaker 3: trapped in a haircut for your entire life, Like when
Speaker 3: you get a new Like if I were to get
Speaker 3: like a brand new cut, I think people are like,
Speaker 3: what's happening.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's also funny that like we have short hair
Speaker 4: and it kind of doesn't matter. But you have friends
Speaker 4: who are like like Mike Hanford or Kyle Mooney or
Speaker 4: Jef Dutton from my band, like like these like comedy
Speaker 4: guys who are like, my thing is cut, my hair
Speaker 4: is kind of longer. That's a lot of pressure when
Speaker 4: when they get their haircut, we're gonna notice, like it,
Speaker 4: because it's gonna get kind of like quaffed and snipped. Oh,
Speaker 4: and a lot is gonna happen, and they might kind
Speaker 4: of come out looking like a beautiful lady with like
Speaker 4: hair that was like too snipped up. Because these are
Speaker 4: like laid back comedy bres. Like if you can't be
Speaker 4: like a pot smoking, chill comedian, but you look like
Speaker 4: you have like nicely teased.
Speaker 3: Bags completely and they can't go completely.
Speaker 4: Short, right if you everyone's gonna notice if you go short,
Speaker 4: everyone's gonna notice everything you do, as opposed to like
Speaker 4: I think, on me, a haircut just looks like a haircut.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that thing. How do you Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel trapped, absolutely trapped. How do I have to
Speaker 3: like get a new life?
Speaker 4: Essentially, you have to move to a new city.
Speaker 3: Yes, Beth, did you get your answer? I mean, I hope.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 3: I feel like we gave Beth at least two career things, evolutions, shifts,
Speaker 3: the world, travel to ultimately, just go on a vacation
Speaker 3: and give yourself a break bath. You're sending voice notes
Speaker 3: to podcasts, you're cutting hair, you're gen x.
Speaker 4: You describe results. I mean you say I'm gen X.
Speaker 4: Hairstyle is from Portland. It painted too much of a
Speaker 4: picture that I know you too well.
Speaker 3: Back off, so you.
Speaker 4: Didn't have to tell me you were tired. I got it,
Speaker 4: but I think, uh, you know, the Portland is a
Speaker 4: lush culture fund. You can experiment. Open a food truck.
Speaker 4: Everybody's doing it. They need one up there. Every people like, oh,
Speaker 4: our food is bricking mortar.
Speaker 3: If only I had to look up the timetable of
Speaker 3: when I could get my food, if I could track
Speaker 3: down my food. Beth, thank you for writing in, but
Speaker 3: or sending in, don't ever do it again. Good luck
Speaker 3: with your new career. Good luck to your clients. They're
Speaker 3: all gonna feel so abandoned when you leave them. I
Speaker 3: don't know, Tim, I've got my dustpan and.
Speaker 4: It's gonna go in the back of your car, and
Speaker 4: when you see garbage on the street, you still take
Speaker 4: your picture.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do what Karen Bass won't do. Yes, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna clean up the streets of La See.
Speaker 4: I'm Rick Caruso. This is to make up for all
Speaker 4: the money Rick Carrioso has lost on your parking over
Speaker 4: the years. You clean up the city.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to be kind of around town. People
Speaker 3: thinking Bridges Bridger is kind of lucy.
Speaker 4: We're worried. It is cool though, like you said, if
Speaker 4: you were the clean up guy or the dustband guy.
Speaker 4: There used to be a man that walked around the
Speaker 4: Silver Lake Reservoir. Old guy, like looped up, walking fast
Speaker 4: from no shirt but reading the newspaper, looped up and
Speaker 4: like like like Tanning Tanning oil, so slippery, one hundred
Speaker 4: years old, in great shape, walking real fast, reading the newspaper,
Speaker 4: and everybody loved him. And then when he died, everyone
Speaker 4: was like, oh, the newspaper guy died. That's sad. That
Speaker 4: could be if you want to be remembered after you
Speaker 4: just now you're getting a late starts, you better get
Speaker 4: it work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well I'm fine whatever I've had such a
Speaker 3: wonderful time with you.
Speaker 4: Thank you for having me, thank you for being a gift.
Speaker 4: Who cares?
Speaker 3: I'm laid back.
Speaker 4: Wow, hang loose, very cool.
Speaker 3: Listener. The podcast is over. I'm I need a nap,
Speaker 3: I need to take I'm probably gonna go fully to
Speaker 3: bed at one twenty seven pm. I don't know what's
Speaker 3: going to happen to me. I've got to at least
Speaker 3: drive home. We'll see what happens. The podcast is over,
Speaker 3: do something else. Please, I'm not going to get into
Speaker 3: your business. I love you, goodbye. I said No Gifts
Speaker 3: is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on
Speaker 3: Alise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday.
Speaker 3: The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and
Speaker 3: we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You
Speaker 3: must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts,
Speaker 3: That's where you're going to see pictures of all these
Speaker 3: wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see
Speaker 3: the gifts?
Speaker 6: I invit?
Speaker 3: Did you?
Speaker 4: Hear?
Speaker 1: Thot a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest
Speaker 1: to me, you gotta come to me empty, and I said,
Speaker 1: no guests, You're our presences.
Speaker 2: Presents enough and I already had too much stuff. So
Speaker 2: how do you dare to survey me