WEBVTT - Second Cup: Make mornings into family time

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to consciously turn your mornings into family time

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<v Speaker 1>before everyone goes their separate ways. You can choose to

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<v Speaker 1>start the day by nurturing your most important relationships. I

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<v Speaker 1>first learned the power of mornings many years ago when

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<v Speaker 1>I was researching a book called What the Most Successful

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<v Speaker 1>People Do Before Breakfast. Many successful people use the early

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<v Speaker 1>morning hours for exercise, or strategic thinking, or other important

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<v Speaker 1>things that life has a way of crowding out. And

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<v Speaker 1>if these morning warriors have families, they often trade off

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<v Speaker 1>with their partners or get up before the kids in

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<v Speaker 1>order to make time for these things. And that's because, well,

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<v Speaker 1>when we're trying to get large numbers of people ready

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<v Speaker 1>and out the door, it can be tempting to focus

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<v Speaker 1>solely on the various steps required to make that happen.

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<v Speaker 1>And trust me, I know there can be a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of steps. But the problem with focusing on the logistics

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<v Speaker 1>is that we miss the opportunity to make this time

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<v Speaker 1>into something more. I was reminded of this when I

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<v Speaker 1>got a note from Ryan Holiday about how he spends

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<v Speaker 1>his mornings. Holiday is the author of the new book

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<v Speaker 1>Stillness Is the Key, and of several other books, including

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<v Speaker 1>The Obstacle Is the Way. Holiday tells me that starting

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<v Speaker 1>earlier this year, I decided I would no longer use

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<v Speaker 1>my phone for the first one hour that I am awake. Instead,

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<v Speaker 1>I grab my three year old son and take him

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<v Speaker 1>for a long walk. We go outside, We get active,

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<v Speaker 1>and we watch the sun come up as we travel

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<v Speaker 1>the back roads that surround our farm. Almost invariably, I

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<v Speaker 1>come home with ideas that I can use in my writing.

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<v Speaker 1>We come home with memories to tell the rest of

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<v Speaker 1>the family about instead of just take making a photo.

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<v Speaker 1>To me, it's about getting some stillness in the morning

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<v Speaker 1>before the workday starts. And it's ironic that the stillness

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<v Speaker 1>comes for us from movement. But what works works the

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<v Speaker 1>key is just not starting the day reacting, letting Twitter

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<v Speaker 1>or your email inbox dictate the first thing you do

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<v Speaker 1>during the day. Instead, you should decide, and for me, concentration,

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<v Speaker 1>family time and fun are what I choose. I think

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<v Speaker 1>this is a great idea holidays spending time with his kid,

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<v Speaker 1>but getting exercise and thinking time too. How great to

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<v Speaker 1>score a trifecta like that, Mornings in general can be

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<v Speaker 1>a great time for family time. Now I don't have

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<v Speaker 1>a farm to wander about, but I've started to make

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<v Speaker 1>a point of sitting at the kitchen table in sequence

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<v Speaker 1>with all my children as they eat breakfast. The seventh

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<v Speaker 1>grader is first, and in typical teenager fashion, he's not

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<v Speaker 1>always the most talkative person at breakfast, but that's all right.

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<v Speaker 1>I can communicate that I'm interested in his life, and

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<v Speaker 1>I can make sure he's getting a serving of fruit,

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<v Speaker 1>and these both count for something. My four year old

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<v Speaker 1>tends to wander down next, and we have very different conversations.

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<v Speaker 1>And by the time I've fed my elementary school aged kids,

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<v Speaker 1>I might have been sitting at that breakfast table for

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<v Speaker 1>fifty minutes. Fifty minutes is a fair chunk of time,

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<v Speaker 1>but that's okay. I've found that lingering over breakfast and

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<v Speaker 1>my coffee puts me in a mood of time abundance. Sure,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a lot to do, but there's no rush.

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<v Speaker 1>On the mornings my husband is home, he'll sit there too,

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<v Speaker 1>and these are often the only chances we get to

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<v Speaker 1>have two parents focused on one kid, and it's not

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<v Speaker 1>a disciplinary situation when we have a gap between kid breakfast,

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<v Speaker 1>the two of us can sit there and talk, which

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<v Speaker 1>is nice as well. I recognize that sometimes mornings begin

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<v Speaker 1>early enough and kids are young enough that it's hard

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<v Speaker 1>to do anything except grab a granola bar and get

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<v Speaker 1>everyone dressed and strapped into their car seats. But if

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<v Speaker 1>there is some flexibility, think through your morning routine and

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<v Speaker 1>think if there might be space to spend a little

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<v Speaker 1>time doing something other than getting ready. Could you and

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<v Speaker 1>your spouse share a cup of coffee together on the porch.

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<v Speaker 1>If you have young kids who wake up really early,

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<v Speaker 1>could you play or read together for half an hour

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<v Speaker 1>before you need to hop in the shower. Maybe you

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<v Speaker 1>get up fifteen minutes before your teens need to get up,

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<v Speaker 1>and you whip up some scrambled eggs to sit and

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<v Speaker 1>eat with them, Even if they're not actually talking to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Eating together is a form of communication in any case.

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<v Speaker 1>I know there's a story out there that mornings are

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<v Speaker 1>inevitably rushed and harried. The problem is that when we

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<v Speaker 1>tell ourselves this story, we start to believe it, and

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<v Speaker 1>we can choose to structure our lives differently. If the

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<v Speaker 1>upside is closer relationships with the people we love most.

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<v Speaker 1>Why not give it a try. In the meantime, this

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<v Speaker 1>is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

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<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the

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<v Speaker 1>number four then Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me

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<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com

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<v Speaker 1>that before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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