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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that got Winnie the Pooh hooked

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Speaker 1: on ozempic. So now he's a size zero and he

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Speaker 1: turned his red shirt into a sexy two piece.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. It's laser laser stories.

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Speaker 1: The secondary read weird news stories around the glove, just

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Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we've got a laser and

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Speaker 1: those other honey huffers just don't. Oh, this first laser

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Speaker 1: story is out of fast food foibles. The other day,

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Speaker 1: a guy named Greg went viral for placing a very

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Speaker 1: strange delivery order from McDonald's. He ordered a triple cheeseburger,

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Speaker 1: but had everything removed, so no ketchup, no mustard, no pickle,

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Speaker 1: no onions, no cheese, no bun, and.

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Speaker 2: No meat.

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Speaker 3: Put in the box.

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Speaker 2: That's what he wanted to know. He wanted to see

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Speaker 2: what would happen.

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Speaker 3: Okay, he's trying to get a viral video or something.

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Speaker 2: I see.

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Speaker 1: When the driver got to the restaurant, he texted Greg saying,

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Speaker 1: cheeseburger with everything removed, including the butt and meat, So

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Speaker 1: you're gonna get an empty box?

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Speaker 2: You cool with that?

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Speaker 1: Greg said, perfect, thank you, and believe it or not,

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Speaker 1: when it got to him, the order.

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Speaker 2: Was still wrong. No, wait a minute.

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Speaker 1: When Greg opened the bag, which was you know, quote

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Speaker 1: sealed for freshness, there was there was just an empty

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Speaker 1: box in there. Yes, but it was a box for

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Speaker 1: a deluxe mccrispy, not the triple cheeseburger he ordered. Wrong.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I mean, why does Greg have to order a

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Speaker 3: triple It's so much more expensive. Why wouldn't he just

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Speaker 3: order a regular cheeseburger without all It's gotta be for

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Speaker 3: Instagram or something.

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Speaker 1: In the end, Greg paid five dollars and thirty nine

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Speaker 1: cents for his nothing burger with everything removed.

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Speaker 2: There was also the three.

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Speaker 1: Dollars service fee, forty two cents in tax, and he

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Speaker 1: tipped the driver eleven dollars, so twenty bucks total.

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Speaker 3: We we're talking about him so that it tasted good, Greg.

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Speaker 1: He also gave a two star review to the McDonald's

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Speaker 1: in the app for botching his order.

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Speaker 2: Yow, he came back. That's a male, Karen, if I've

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Speaker 2: ever seen one boy?

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer stories out of Indiana the other day,

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Speaker 1: a fifty five year old man named Alonzo Sansbury was

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Speaker 1: up to no good. First, he hit up a dollar

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Speaker 1: tree and tried to pay with a fake one hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars bill and then demanded money from the register.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I feel like Dollar Tree employees don't even care.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah man, sure, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Bro, I tried to rob his place too. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's unclear how much he made off with, but he

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Speaker 1: did get away. And then Alonzo went over to a

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Speaker 1: big lots and did a similar thing, stealing cash, but

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Speaker 1: this time he also swiped a bag of funions on

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Speaker 1: his way out.

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Speaker 2: Were located by the door.

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Speaker 3: I know, but gonna have terrible when it finally gets arrested.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: The police immediately jumped into action and use the surveillance

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Speaker 1: footage in an attempt to connect the two crimes. They

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Speaker 1: also used his license plate to track him down and

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Speaker 1: actually found the car, but when they did that, they

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Speaker 1: still didn't have enough evidence to do an arrest until

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Speaker 1: a quick thinking deputy looked into the back seat and

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Speaker 1: saw the empty bag of funians.

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Speaker 3: Yes not so funnya now, huh.

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Speaker 2: That was enough to pin it on him.

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Speaker 1: So Alonzo was charged with two counts of robbery, and

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Speaker 1: when he was cuffed, police heard him say if it

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Speaker 1: wasn't for those meddling Funians, that would have gotten away

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Speaker 1: with it. Too. This next lad the stories out of

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Speaker 1: tech Trends, there's a wonderful new feature coming to Windows

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Speaker 1: which records everything you do on your computer and feeds

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Speaker 1: it to AI.

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Speaker 3: What I'm gonna go with a big no thank you, Jeff,

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Speaker 3: Like is that cool? What?

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Speaker 2: What are you doing on your computer that you're so

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Speaker 2: scared about?

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Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. It's like using all of our language

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Speaker 3: to get smarter and better and overtake us.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm gonna say, no, I'm worried about all the

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Speaker 2: videos on my Jose's.

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Speaker 1: I would understand why Microsoft is hyping it as a

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Speaker 1: way to retrace your steps.

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Speaker 2: No thank you, allowing you to.

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Speaker 1: Quickly flip through all your stuff that you've been doing

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Speaker 1: on your computer, your messages, your apps, even your video calls.

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Speaker 2: They're keeping everything for you.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's like if you want to go back and

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Speaker 1: like revisit a conversation you had and be like, what

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Speaker 1: did I say?

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Speaker 2: Or what did they say to me? Now you have

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Speaker 2: an entire library of your history.

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Speaker 3: I don't need that.

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Speaker 2: When is that ever?

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Speaker 3: I've never said that in my life.

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Speaker 2: It's like your text history, but for your computer.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the only time you need it is if

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Speaker 3: you're like in an argument with your significant other and

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Speaker 3: you're like, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I need to say that you said that.

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Speaker 1: That's weird.

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Speaker 2: That was the first thing. Yeah, arguing with your spouse.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you would need it for like a work thing

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Speaker 1: where they where you're trying to remember what your boss

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Speaker 1: told you to do.

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Speaker 3: Just remember, Okay, I just ask again. I don't need

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Speaker 3: Microsoft word or Mike.

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Speaker 2: Who's doing it? Okay, you should be in charge of Microsoft.

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Speaker 2: You can run to be in the next CEO and

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Speaker 2: come up with all their this big brother crap.

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Speaker 1: It's basically a browser history on steroids. Not to mention,

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Speaker 1: everything is being analyzed by artificial intelligence. And look, you

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Speaker 1: thought the worst thing that could happen was AI taking

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Speaker 1: your job. See, it could get a lot worse. Many

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Speaker 1: people are hearing this thinking about all the privacy and

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Speaker 1: security concerns.

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Speaker 3: But Microsoft concerned, and you make fun of me.

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Speaker 1: Microsoft insists they've thought of all that, and with this

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Speaker 1: new system, the data will be encrypted on your hard drive,

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Speaker 1: so you're the only person that could ever see it.

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Speaker 2: Every six months, a new cloud urse or whatever they call.

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Speaker 3: It, data that work because your AI is not on

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Speaker 3: your hard drive.

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Speaker 2: Like, no, I don't believe it.

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Speaker 3: Trust us situation, Have we not learned anything?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Britney's a going to rebunker right now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if the idea still scares you, the good news

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Speaker 1: is this will not be randomly added to your machine

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Speaker 1: and a new software update.

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Speaker 2: To get it, you have to buy it extra okay,

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Speaker 2: and then it all comes with it.

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Speaker 3: Tell me again what you said three week from now.

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Speaker 2: This next Lazer story is out of trolls with poles?

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Speaker 2: Are they strippers?

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Speaker 1: A popular publication conducted a poll recently asking men if

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Speaker 1: they would take a penny that they saw in a urinal,

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Speaker 1: like in a urinal sitting in there. Almost five hundred

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Speaker 1: people weighed in. Yeah, four hundred and twenty eight of

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Speaker 1: them said no, seventy something said yet. So that's almost

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Speaker 1: thirteen percent of men that would take a random penny

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Speaker 1: that they saw sitting in a dirty year.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's not even a twenty dollars bill, it's

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Speaker 2: a penn. Oh my god, by anything.

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Speaker 3: One time, my dad and I and my husband were

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Speaker 3: at an NFL game and they thought it'd be funny

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Speaker 3: to leave a fake one hundred dollars bill at the

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Speaker 3: bottom of the urinal.

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Speaker 2: That is kind of funny, and then they went back.

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Speaker 3: And checked five minutes later it was gone, oh dude,

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Speaker 3: ye yea, yeah, that's funny though.

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Speaker 2: That's a good frank.

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Speaker 1: In the comments, one person who voted said, no, way

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Speaker 1: a penny, why would you even consider it in Another

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Speaker 1: who voted yes said, if you see free money, you

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Speaker 1: take it.

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Speaker 2: End of story.

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Speaker 3: This is why every time you get changed you need

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Speaker 3: to wash your hands because.

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Speaker 2: You just don't know where.

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Speaker 1: As for this guy, I asked him what he would do.

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Speaker 2: He would absolutely take.

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Speaker 1: The pass, not really for the money aspect of things.

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Speaker 2: He just wants a free baths, the popping there and

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Speaker 2: roll around. What's that means?

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Speaker 3: Laze's stories have come to an end for the days

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Speaker 2: We're gonna do it again, same time on Monday.