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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's bringing a new layer of

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Speaker 1: fund the football stadiums. You've heard of cheerleaders, Now they're

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Speaker 1: adding beer leaders, posting up on the big screen. Which

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Speaker 1: section has downed the most beers during the game.

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Speaker 2: Oh, like the actual leaders.

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Speaker 3: Yes, like a competition, like come on section three.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, one hundred and twenty more Budweisers will take.

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Speaker 3: The leads out.

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Speaker 2: They won.

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Speaker 1: Its Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser.

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Speaker 3: Those other beer leaders just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of a fan favorite Florida.

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Speaker 3: Remember that Willy.

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Speaker 1: Wonka experience last year in Scotland that was such a

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Speaker 1: huge disappointment it reduced kids to tears.

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Speaker 3: It became the international news.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well it kind of happened again, all right,

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Speaker 1: but this time it was Barbie's good name that was

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Speaker 1: dragged through the mud.

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Speaker 2: Hey, nobody got it. They seriously, you know how hard

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Speaker 2: she worked for everything? Yeah, drag can not her?

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Speaker 3: Yes, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Unless it's mud wrestling Barbie, then she shouldn't be anywhere.

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Speaker 2: Near the It's not the point of Barbie death.

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Speaker 1: Some folks paid up to four hundred and fifty dollars

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Speaker 1: to attend the Barbie Dreamfest at Broward County Convention Center

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Speaker 1: in Fort Lauderdale.

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Speaker 2: That is so much money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, conventions are no joke. But what they got

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Speaker 3: instead was a total nightmare.

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Speaker 1: The massive space was filled with just a few vendors

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Speaker 1: and cheesy attractions like a twenty foot by forty foot

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Speaker 1: roller skating rink.

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Speaker 3: And the giant heat log in.

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Speaker 1: The giant Barbie Interactive dream House was just a giant

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Speaker 1: cardboard cutout.

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Speaker 3: It's flat against a wall.

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Speaker 2: Just you can't even walk in. I know you're supposed

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Speaker 2: to use your imagination when you play with Barbie, but

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Speaker 2: her fifty.

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Speaker 1: Bucks, I know they really downsized her dream house in

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Speaker 1: this scenario too.

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Speaker 2: This is the smallest roller skating rink I've ever seen.

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Speaker 1: Plus all the speakers that were supposed to be there

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Speaker 1: canceled due to sickness.

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Speaker 2: Were they ever really supposed to be there?

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Speaker 3: That's what they say.

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Speaker 1: People who attended Barbie Dreamfest are comparing it not only

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Speaker 1: to the Wonka experience, but to Firefest as well.

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Speaker 2: Empty promises, no dreams there, just nightmares.

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Speaker 1: No word if the event organizers will refund disappointed attendees

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Speaker 1: their money.

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Speaker 2: How could they not?

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Speaker 1: But it does give matell a new idea for their

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Speaker 1: next doll scam, Barbie taking everyone's money in the shadiest

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Speaker 1: way possible.

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Speaker 3: Mark one thousand dollars scamp.

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Speaker 2: Barbie just upgraded her dream house.

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Speaker 3: This next Lazer story is out of Bot Bay.

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Speaker 1: For decades, there's been a chunk of carved limestone in

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Speaker 1: a Dutch museum that looked.

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Speaker 3: Like it could have been some kind of game board.

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Speaker 1: It's about seventeen hundred years old, so it's like they

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Speaker 1: could ask anybody how it would work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like maybe put marbles in there or six square

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Speaker 2: some al right.

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Speaker 3: They didn't know until.

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Speaker 2: Now to play because.

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Speaker 1: A group of archaeologists and computer scientists fed it to

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Speaker 1: AI and it came up with several possible ideas. The

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Speaker 1: main one that was suggested was a blocking game where

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Speaker 1: one player tries to trap the other opponent's pieces until

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Speaker 1: they can no longer move.

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Speaker 3: I like that chess and.

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Speaker 1: Where marks on the slabs support this idea. So scientists

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Speaker 1: tried to replicate what AI said to do, and they

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Speaker 1: believe it's actually correct. Ye. If it's true, this would

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Speaker 1: be the earliest relic of Connect four out there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, but it would be the earliest board

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Speaker 1: game ever invented. The other intriguing takeaway from this is

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Speaker 1: maybe we're getting to the point where scientists could walk

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Speaker 1: through museums showing AI a bunch of stuff in there

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Speaker 1: that we don't understand yet, and it would connect the

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Speaker 1: dots in ways that humans haven't been able to.

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Speaker 2: You know what, And even if AI was making it up,

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Speaker 2: we'd believe it anyway.

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Speaker 3: Better than not knowing.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to your next laser story. Out of condiment corners.

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Speaker 1: Everyone in the world goes crazy for McDonald's for better

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Speaker 1: or for worse. But ranch dressing, that's just an American thing, right,

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Speaker 1: I think you jump?

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Speaker 2: I thought so. I don't think they do ranch in

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Speaker 2: other countries.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I say that because Hidden Valley Ranch is looking

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Speaker 1: to hire Ranch ambassadors to send over to Europe.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna spread the good word Ranch missionaries.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're gonna spend two months showing foreigners how

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Speaker 1: Ranch can compliment all of their local favorites. In Paris

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Speaker 1: eating snails and dipping them in ranch.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, locals.

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Speaker 2: Mayonnaise is huge in that country, so it's not gonna

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Speaker 2: be a big jump for them, and it.

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Speaker 3: Would be two teams of two people doing the work.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to be a couple, but you do

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Speaker 1: have to be cool, sharing housing and feeding each other's

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Speaker 1: salad dress.

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Speaker 2: Why would we put a reality show out of this?

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Speaker 1: Strangers to eat food around the world Ranch rodeo yea.

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Speaker 1: All travel expenses are covered for you, so if you're interested,

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Speaker 1: you can go to our insta stories at Brook and Jeffrey.

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Speaker 1: Click the link to their website, fill out your application

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Speaker 1: to become a Ranch ambassador.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Brook may not be on the shelf

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Speaker 3: for very long.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all the ranch you can eat.

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Speaker 1: Man, Let's go to your final laser story out of

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Speaker 1: Salutation Central fugodbye. You've probably heard of the Irish goodbye.

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Speaker 1: It's where you leave a party without saying farewell to anybody.

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Speaker 3: Every time I got drunk.

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Speaker 2: I used to do that, same as a French exit.

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Speaker 3: Right, that's what you make out someone.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you'll end up puking in a neighbor's bush too.

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Speaker 1: But have you ever heard of the Midwest goodbye?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Is that where you stay for eighty minutes and

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Speaker 2: say goodbye?

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Speaker 1: It's kind of the opposite of an Irish goodbye, where

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Speaker 1: you say so long to everybody at the party.

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Speaker 3: Actually, and it takes app solutely forever.

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Speaker 2: That's my dad, dude, that's my husband, and my kids

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Speaker 2: are always dying. You said, I go.

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Speaker 3: No, my dad will hunt you down.

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Speaker 1: If we're at a barbier, gonna be like, oh I

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Speaker 1: forgot through sycod bye through Christina one second. Like. According

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Speaker 1: to the Chicago Tribune, most of it involves lingering in doorways. Quote,

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Speaker 1: we spend so much time standing on a threshold, one

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Speaker 1: hand on a doorknob, resisting leftovers, hugging, promising to return,

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Speaker 1: resisting leftovers once again, listening to just one more story,

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Speaker 1: being unable to extract ourselves. That is the definition of

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Speaker 1: a Midwest.

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Speaker 2: Goodbye for me.

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Speaker 1: Jeez.

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Speaker 3: I mean after you say goodbye everyone, you're like, should

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Speaker 3: I just stay?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: These people, which is completely different than in Australian how

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Speaker 1: do you dowet?

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Speaker 3: What's that you ever heard of?

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Speaker 1: That it starts out as a friendly hug where both

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Speaker 1: people lean in at the.

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Speaker 3: Same time, but then somehow one of you ends up

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Speaker 3: down on this and nobody's mad about it. That means

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Speaker 3: laser stories has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Friday, Brook and

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Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning.