Speaker 1: I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to What's
Speaker 1: Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a show
Speaker 1: about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and personal journeys. Together,
Speaker 1: we'll hear from gold medalists, best selling authors, and leaders
Speaker 1: of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday or
Speaker 1: join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her Story Podcast.
Speaker 1: Victoria Garrick is a mental health advocate for young women
Speaker 1: and athletes. She's also a former Division one volleyball player
Speaker 1: and has amassed one point five million followers across social media,
Speaker 1: where she's known for her unfiltered campaign hashtag real post.
Speaker 1: You have nearly half a million followers on Instagram. How
Speaker 1: did you amass such a big social media following. I
Speaker 1: never thought I want to be an influencer and I
Speaker 1: want to gain a following, and like, how do I
Speaker 1: map this out and do it? Which is ironic because
Speaker 1: everything else in my life up until the time I
Speaker 1: was probably nineteen did feel like a plan. I sat
Speaker 1: down and I was like, this is what I want
Speaker 1: this whole achieve it with social media. It was really
Speaker 1: a snowball effect. I was studying journalism. At USC, I
Speaker 1: thought I wanted to be a you know, sports broadcaster,
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was also a student athlete.
Speaker 1: I played on the LiveBall team there, and it was
Speaker 1: this weird tug of war because I would be reporting
Speaker 1: and writing articles on athletes and their stats and their
Speaker 1: performance and you know, just all the things that a
Speaker 1: general audience member could take from their game. But then
Speaker 1: I was living and feeling something completely different as an athlete,
Speaker 1: which was what was really going on off the court
Speaker 1: inside of me that wasn't great, and that I was
Speaker 1: struggling with anxiety and depression and body image issues, and
Speaker 1: so I kind of realized there's this other story that
Speaker 1: really needs to be told because no one's talking about it,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm so alone in this. But
Speaker 1: a long story short, there was an email came through
Speaker 1: TED Talks was coming to U s C. I happened
Speaker 1: to see the email. I had, I think, twenty four
Speaker 1: hours to apply. I knew immediately I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about athlete mental health. I never thought about, like, I
Speaker 1: want to give a TED Talk. How do I seek
Speaker 1: it out? Like the email came into the inbox, as
Speaker 1: it did everyone else at the school, and I applied.
Speaker 1: I gave the Ted talk, and then that really kind
Speaker 1: of caught fire throughout the athletic community, and then more
Speaker 1: people kind of flocked to my Instagram and my Facebook,
Speaker 1: messaging me, commenting, and then that's when I started to realize, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I have more to share, I have more to say.
Speaker 1: So I continued storytelling on my own platforms, and then
Speaker 1: you know, you start a YouTube channel, You do that
Speaker 1: for a year, another year, and then things grow and
Speaker 1: we are here where we are today. End. Did you
Speaker 1: feel like, okay, it's okay to talk about mental health
Speaker 1: issues because even though so many young women and girls
Speaker 1: suffer from them, very few feel comfortable sharing that aspect
Speaker 1: of their life publicly. I realized that this was a
Speaker 1: life or death conversation, and so I didn't even have
Speaker 1: the wherewithal or the pause to be like, what are
Speaker 1: people going to think? Oh? Like you know, I was
Speaker 1: just like, we need to talk about this, and I
Speaker 1: felt so almost I want to likely use the word
Speaker 1: like furious, because I had been an athlete my whole life.
Speaker 1: I'd never heard about a performance anxiety or you know,
Speaker 1: being on your dream team and being depressed, and so
Speaker 1: when this became my reality, which it then took me
Speaker 1: like a year to really understand what I was thinking,
Speaker 1: what I was feeling, to put words to it, to
Speaker 1: see a therapist to start to get better. That when
Speaker 1: I started to realize, hey, this is really really hard,
Speaker 1: and this is not just me. I know, it's my teammates,
Speaker 1: I know it's other people. No one's talking about it.
Speaker 1: That's really what gave me, I guess, the courage to
Speaker 1: just be so candid about it was because I knew
Speaker 1: that the message needed to be shared. I knew people
Speaker 1: would would resonate with it, and it was like I
Speaker 1: believed in the conversation more than I was thinking about
Speaker 1: myself or how people would perceive me. Um. So, you know,
Speaker 1: when I was preparing to give this talk, and mind you,
Speaker 1: you know, I have my parents who have done everything
Speaker 1: they could have ever done my whole life to make
Speaker 1: sure I was happy and had everything I'd wanted. And
Speaker 1: my mom, I remember, was the one who said, are
Speaker 1: you sure you want to share all of this? You know?
Speaker 1: And it came from the I'm love my mom, She's
Speaker 1: my best friend. It came from the best place. This
Speaker 1: was no one was talking about this She was like,
Speaker 1: you know, this is going to be on the internet forever.
Speaker 1: Your future employers are going to see this. Um, are
Speaker 1: you sure you want to talk about the suicidal ideation
Speaker 1: on the bike? Like? Can we just remove that? You know,
Speaker 1: little my mom's trying to protect me. That was really
Speaker 1: the only time or instance I can remember someone being like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you should be this candid, But
Speaker 1: I pushed back and said, you know, mom, this is
Speaker 1: the truth. This is really how I felt, and I
Speaker 1: share that not my mom is the best mom in
Speaker 1: the world. And I might have done the same thing
Speaker 1: and the same circumstance with a daughter who knows, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. For me, I just had this knowing
Speaker 1: that I needed to say everything. How did you go
Speaker 1: about putting the talk together? Ted Talks came to s USC,
Speaker 1: which is like TED x USC. They were going to
Speaker 1: take six speakers. So I actually had already had a
Speaker 1: notes page in my phone of like various things my
Speaker 1: whole life, I've kind of, you know, pretended to be
Speaker 1: a main character and just written down my thoughts and
Speaker 1: feelings on plane rides and whatever. So I had detailed
Speaker 1: remember this. One morning, I was late and for a
Speaker 1: drug test, and so I was crying and the whole
Speaker 1: team was gonna have to run and I had the
Speaker 1: test and I literally just was like, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just like a dear diary in my phone, which then
Speaker 1: ended up being the opening to my talk, which is
Speaker 1: like this you know scenario where I put the audience
Speaker 1: in my shoes and say this is what you have
Speaker 1: to do. That came from like a deer diary entry
Speaker 1: on my phone. So I was a journalism student. I
Speaker 1: did love storytelling. I had that kind of in me.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like I, you know, didn't have any background
Speaker 1: in um, you know, being on stage or in front
Speaker 1: of a camera. So that definitely served me well. Um Also,
Speaker 1: you know, I definitely am like a type a person.
Speaker 1: I do everything to the nines. I'm super thorough. I've
Speaker 1: always been a good communicator. There were definitely a lot
Speaker 1: of like innate qualities in me that I think primed
Speaker 1: me to deliver like a really good TED talk at
Speaker 1: nineteen with no public speaking experience, Like I was always
Speaker 1: the girl who maybe didn't work on the group project,
Speaker 1: but you better bet I showed up and I presented
Speaker 1: it to the whole class. In high school like that
Speaker 1: was always my role. So those things helped. UM. I
Speaker 1: definitely reached out to, you know, my closest high school
Speaker 1: english professor who I really trusted and said, I'm going
Speaker 1: to give this talk, like can I run you know,
Speaker 1: ideas through you? And UM he was helpful. My current
Speaker 1: sports psychologist that I was in therapy with, I also
Speaker 1: had conversations with her about you know, high level like
Speaker 1: what are you saying? What does this mean? And so
Speaker 1: I did have like those two mentors who I hopped
Speaker 1: on maybe one or two phone calls with UM and
Speaker 1: then yeah, I mean I never my dad, I think,
Speaker 1: when he knew I was going to give a talk,
Speaker 1: bought me one of those like Ted talk books. I
Speaker 1: never read it. As much as I am type A,
Speaker 1: I also love winging things and I'm like the queen
Speaker 1: of leaving everything to the last second. And I remember
Speaker 1: before going on stage, I actually hadn't rehearsed it. I
Speaker 1: have been rehearsing it, of course, but not like many
Speaker 1: many times. And right before I went on stage, I
Speaker 1: was like starting to blink because I also memorized everything verbatim.
Speaker 1: Because I've never given a talk before, I didn't have
Speaker 1: the experience to be like, here's my high level subject.
Speaker 1: Let me, you know, ramble on that for three minutes,
Speaker 1: which maybe I can do that now. So I memorized
Speaker 1: the entire eighteen minutes word for word. UM, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. And you know, you know, in that moment
Speaker 1: I started to blink the I was about to go
Speaker 1: on stage, and I just said, Victoria, even if you
Speaker 1: did no prep, pen, you had no idea what you
Speaker 1: were going to say, Like, you could go talk about
Speaker 1: this for fifteen minutes because it's your life and it
Speaker 1: matters to you. So I also think I just came
Speaker 1: back to like the fact that I was speaking about
Speaker 1: something I cared about. I don't think I could have
Speaker 1: ever given a TED talk on chemistry. Victoria, wended your
Speaker 1: own journey with mental health start and if you could
Speaker 1: share with us what that's been like even until today. Yes,
Speaker 1: So I did not struggle with anxiety or depression until college.
Speaker 1: Looking back, I definitely UM have struggled with body image
Speaker 1: and food since I was probably thirteen years old. And
Speaker 1: at the time, you know, I thought, oh, well, like
Speaker 1: everyone's on a diet, everyone weighs themselves, everyone tries to
Speaker 1: lose you know, two pounds a week before the school dance. Like,
Speaker 1: I didn't think any of that was disordered or unhealthy
Speaker 1: or toxic, you know, And in hindsight, it's like if
Speaker 1: you're fourteen drinking a slim quick shake, something's wrong. So
Speaker 1: you know, those issues definitely had been there throughout childhood.
Speaker 1: And then in college, you know, I had never experienced
Speaker 1: anything like the performance anxiety I was hit with as
Speaker 1: a college athlete. I was always confident, the go getter.
Speaker 1: I mean, I earned a starting spot as a true
Speaker 1: freshman because I was that confident and that fearless. And
Speaker 1: then we're weeks into season and the pressure has mounted.
Speaker 1: Practices intense, were undefeated, the number one team in the country,
Speaker 1: and that's when I really start to break down. And
Speaker 1: and it was a shift in me that I have
Speaker 1: never felt anything like before. Just no confidence, um constantly
Speaker 1: thinking of the worst case scenario, constantly assuming everyone was
Speaker 1: out to get me, I was going to make a mistake,
Speaker 1: you know, hands shaking, eyes watering with tears, unable to
Speaker 1: sleep at night, and just being like, what's going on?
Speaker 1: And I actually, when I was cleaning out some boxes
Speaker 1: the other day, I found like my college journal, and
Speaker 1: I have this whole paragraph where I detail performance anxiety,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know what it was. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know why I can't sleep at night and
Speaker 1: why I always think about making mistakes and I'm not confident,
Speaker 1: Like I didn't know what it was because I hadn't
Speaker 1: had that conversation. And how about today. I feel very
Speaker 1: happy now and and in tune with my emotions. And
Speaker 1: if anything, it's something I have to think about, is
Speaker 1: how long can I continue in you advocating and kind
Speaker 1: of recalling this traumatic time in my life as much
Speaker 1: as it is for the betterment of current student athletes.
Speaker 1: And I know the conversation is still important, Like I've
Speaker 1: been doing this since and I'm happy now when I'm
Speaker 1: planning a wedding and I'm not depressed, and I'm not
Speaker 1: an athlete, and it's hard for me to go to
Speaker 1: schools and speak and really mentally put myself in their
Speaker 1: shoes when I work so hard to get out of them.
Speaker 1: So I am in a great place, and I think
Speaker 1: I try my best now to balance that with also
Speaker 1: the experience I have that is also work. I'm passionate about.
Speaker 1: If you had to give a TED talk today, what
Speaker 1: would it be about if I had to give a
Speaker 1: TED talk. I think I'd want to talk about the
Speaker 1: fact that finding meaning, purpose and success in life doesn't
Speaker 1: have to come through achievement and going to the top
Speaker 1: school and being on the top team and having followers
Speaker 1: and money and being a New York Times best selling
Speaker 1: author and all these things that we are like raised
Speaker 1: in condition to believe that like equate to happiness, actually don't,
Speaker 1: and that it's enough to just want to have a
Speaker 1: joyous life. And when you think about people you encounter,
Speaker 1: I mean, when I meet someone who's happy and joyful
Speaker 1: and they're radically authentic, that is inspiring. I could count
Speaker 1: the people on my hand the few people who I
Speaker 1: think are joyous and genuine and that actually impacts and
Speaker 1: inspires me when I'm around them. And so it's like
Speaker 1: the way that we can change the world by being
Speaker 1: ourselves and cultivating happiness can cause the ripple and the
Speaker 1: person you meet in the next person you meet and
Speaker 1: change the world. You don't have to be the next
Speaker 1: Oprah win through the next few jobs. And you know,
Speaker 1: that's like something I've been sitting with a lot recently
Speaker 1: because as much as my whole career has come out
Speaker 1: of the anti you don't have to be perfect, you
Speaker 1: don't have to look perfect. I kind of got lost
Speaker 1: in Okay, well, I'm gonna be the best influencer who
Speaker 1: talks about being real, Like I'm gonna be the most
Speaker 1: popular influencer who encourages you to be yourself. It's like
Speaker 1: the achievement snuck back in, and so now I'm trying
Speaker 1: to dial back to, like, you know, how can I
Speaker 1: manifest happiness in my life and not worry about what's
Speaker 1: happening externally? Are you joyous? Yes? I would say that
Speaker 1: I am. There's definitely uh. I think there's one main
Speaker 1: thing in my life I wish could be different which
Speaker 1: would make me more joyous. I think I thrive off
Speaker 1: of talking to people and interacting with people. And I
Speaker 1: am self employed and I work for myself, and I'm
Speaker 1: alone a lot of the time, and it's fairly hard
Speaker 1: for me to just create environments Like I miss middle
Speaker 1: school when you would show up in seventh grade and
Speaker 1: you all took math class and science together and you've
Speaker 1: got to go to recess. It was just fun. And
Speaker 1: I think now as an adult, you have to like
Speaker 1: make plans to hang out with people, and I think
Speaker 1: I I would love to find a way to have
Speaker 1: more community in my everyday life. I've thought about maybe
Speaker 1: I want to do like improv classes. I'm not an actor,
Speaker 1: I'm not a comedian, but it would just be fun
Speaker 1: to go somewhere with no phones or computers and be
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with other humans. So I don't know. That's why
Speaker 1: I'm trying to work on. But overall, yeah, i'd say
Speaker 1: I'm joyous. And now a quick break. Can you envision
Speaker 1: a life where your not online as much for you,
Speaker 1: you aren't speaking to your social media following, where that
Speaker 1: isn't happening. What does that look like for me? It
Speaker 1: does actually make me really happy when I have a
Speaker 1: creative idea and I get to execute it and make
Speaker 1: it happen and then put it out into the world
Speaker 1: and like see comments that it's helped people. So that
Speaker 1: definitely does make me happy and bring me joy. I
Speaker 1: do think I've realized that there's happy medium. So I've
Speaker 1: had to kind of think about, you know, how can
Speaker 1: I compartmentalize the fact that, yes, this is my job
Speaker 1: and so I have to do it, but also I
Speaker 1: want to make sure that I don't pass away. And
Speaker 1: if you know, the Higher Power broadcasted the hours I
Speaker 1: spent on my phone that it doesn't equate till like
Speaker 1: twenty years. That would like I think discussed me right,
Speaker 1: But I think I'm on that track. So I can't
Speaker 1: imagine myself maybe not online because I also have to
Speaker 1: support myself and make money. So it's it's interesting, but
Speaker 1: I also love my job. I'd rather be doing what
Speaker 1: I'm doing than like doing something I hate. How long
Speaker 1: does it take you to make a real video? It depends.
Speaker 1: I mean, I you know, a few weeks ago, I
Speaker 1: had this thought on boundaries, and so I pull out
Speaker 1: my phone and it takes sixty seconds to just record
Speaker 1: my thoughts and put that out into the world. Other times,
Speaker 1: if I have, you know, an idea of a video
Speaker 1: I want to make, where maybe one parts in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: the next parts on the couch, the next parts outside,
Speaker 1: it takes a little longer, but it's fun. I mean,
Speaker 1: when I was in like sixth grade, I used to
Speaker 1: make videos and music videos with my friends, and so
Speaker 1: I love the creative process for sure. Is there a
Speaker 1: team behind you and I are your videos planned out?
Speaker 1: I have like three people who worked for me part time,
Speaker 1: who like assist with various things, whether it's communications and scheduling,
Speaker 1: help with the podcast. In terms of content, I really,
Speaker 1: I mean I do it all myself. I think that's
Speaker 1: also a misconception. Is you know we see in the movies,
Speaker 1: you know, an agent in Los Angeles saying I want
Speaker 1: to make you a star, and they pull you out
Speaker 1: of a coffee shop and they like, do everything you
Speaker 1: need to do and you become the next Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: Really it's not like that, And in this industry, you're
Speaker 1: not going to find anyone who's going to say, here's
Speaker 1: what you have to do, and I'm gonna help you
Speaker 1: do it. Like No, they're either doing it because they're
Speaker 1: getting a cut of your money they want to make
Speaker 1: money off of you, or it's a friend who's meeting
Speaker 1: you for coffee and maybe they are genuine for that hour,
Speaker 1: but their life isn't dedicated to like helping you with
Speaker 1: your brand. So for the most part, I would say,
Speaker 1: like creators, it's coming from their brain, their creativity. They're
Speaker 1: making the videos, they're doing everything. I very recently try
Speaker 1: to create a method to the madness by hiring like
Speaker 1: a content specialist who I meet with every Monday, and
Speaker 1: we go over like, what's coming up this week. You know,
Speaker 1: Tomorrow I'm trying my my wedding dress. I'm going for
Speaker 1: my first dress fitting. So we we realized that on Monday.
Speaker 1: We then are pulling some ideas that I can film
Speaker 1: in the moment, you know, when I'm in the car,
Speaker 1: can I take a video talking about how I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: And then when I get back in the car, can
Speaker 1: I talk about how it went. So I do plan
Speaker 1: it in the sense now that I'm thinking ahead, but
Speaker 1: I have no idea what I'm posting today. You know,
Speaker 1: it might come to me. Um, we could finish the podcast.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, we talked about something amazing. I want
Speaker 1: to find a photo and write a caption that really
Speaker 1: coincides with that. So, you know, it's intuitive, it's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's definitely an entrepreneurial life. Do you take breaks. I
Speaker 1: actually hadn't been really thinking about that ever, and I
Speaker 1: kind of worked with the rest of the world, you know,
Speaker 1: Monday through Friday nine to five, when like my fiance
Speaker 1: is working, I'm going to work too. But oh wait,
Speaker 1: on Saturday and Sunday, I'm also posting because that's when
Speaker 1: everyone's on their phones and they're not working. So I
Speaker 1: realized I was kind of like working all the time,
Speaker 1: and even when I finished working on a Wednesday at six,
Speaker 1: like with what I have to do if Max comes
Speaker 1: home when we start cooking, or um, you know, something happens,
Speaker 1: or I try on address and it's too small. It's
Speaker 1: like I might think I want to pull out my
Speaker 1: my phone and like document this experience because it's on
Speaker 1: brand and it's helpful. So I realized I had no
Speaker 1: boundaries and I didn't take time off. So now I
Speaker 1: have been more mindful about that, like the days I
Speaker 1: do put my phone away and it's away and I'm
Speaker 1: going to enjoy my night. Or sometimes I will take
Speaker 1: a Tuesday off or a Thursday off because I know
Speaker 1: I need to work on Saturday and Sunday. So I've
Speaker 1: been kind of leaning into that more. And it's only
Speaker 1: something I've recently become aware of. How did you meet
Speaker 1: your fiancee? UM? We met in college. He we both
Speaker 1: played sports at USC and so we met UM freshman year.
Speaker 1: But then, you know, it took me a year to
Speaker 1: realize he was he was a good guy, and I
Speaker 1: should I should go on a date with him. So
Speaker 1: then my sophomore year, I went out with him, and uh,
Speaker 1: we've been together for six years. You've now worked with
Speaker 1: thousands of young women and girls. Have you noticed any
Speaker 1: patterns about confidence and body image and the evolution of that? Yes,
Speaker 1: I feel like and I can only, you know, make
Speaker 1: this educated assumption because I'm current. You know, I'm not
Speaker 1: fifteen right now experiencing what they are, and I'm coming
Speaker 1: out from a different lens. But if I think about
Speaker 1: the fact that when I was in high school, the
Speaker 1: body image issues and dysmorphia and insecurities that I felt
Speaker 1: without TikTok, without the influencer, without all of those things,
Speaker 1: like and I was suffering, I can only imagine how
Speaker 1: that's been amplified now by the way that young girls
Speaker 1: wake up, grab their phone and then are waking up
Speaker 1: to a photo of Kylie Jenner in a bikini. I mean,
Speaker 1: and that does something to you and it makes you
Speaker 1: think about how you look. And I just think that
Speaker 1: constant access to this perception of beauty that is unattainable,
Speaker 1: not often real, right, if there's photoshop or they're posting
Speaker 1: saying that they ate this for lunch, but they really
Speaker 1: didn't need that for lunch. And there's filters, and there's
Speaker 1: other people in your class whose parents do allow them
Speaker 1: to be on every platform and you're not allowed. So
Speaker 1: are you missing out on the social things? And the
Speaker 1: cute guy that you have a crush on or girl
Speaker 1: is on Snapchat and you're not on Snapchat? Like so,
Speaker 1: I think we're seeing, you know, the highest rate of
Speaker 1: mental health issues we've seen. I mean, we're in a
Speaker 1: mental health crisis and it's sad and it's terrifying, and
Speaker 1: I have no idea like how I would want to
Speaker 1: handle it when I have kids one day. I do
Speaker 1: find it so interesting that even the idealized bodies have
Speaker 1: changed over the course of the last ten years, and
Speaker 1: I wonder how that impacts body image definitely. I Mean
Speaker 1: when when my mom was growing up, it was being
Speaker 1: as thin as possible, like Cindy Crawford, you know, Twiggy,
Speaker 1: that was the ideal. Um, no one wanted a huge butt,
Speaker 1: Like having a big butt was like a bad thing,
Speaker 1: And now everyone wants to have a big butt. You know,
Speaker 1: before no one really thought about your eyebrows or your
Speaker 1: lips or like contour and now everyone wants these huge
Speaker 1: lips and these really thick eyebrows and contour and like
Speaker 1: the same way fashion trends change, I think, of course,
Speaker 1: without a doubt, we're going to see the beauty standard
Speaker 1: change in a couple of years or I mean, it
Speaker 1: changes every single day. Whatever Haley Bieber and Kendall Jenner
Speaker 1: where today and how they do their hair, like, that's
Speaker 1: going to influence people. It influences me, Like I love
Speaker 1: Haley Beeper. I think she's gorgeous and I love her fashion.
Speaker 1: So of course it's changing. But I think the important
Speaker 1: thing to point out is, like all of this is
Speaker 1: basically you know diet culture, and how diet culture works
Speaker 1: is by convincing you that you are not good enough
Speaker 1: the way you are UM, and then presenting a new
Speaker 1: standard that you need to be UM. That's going to change,
Speaker 1: and it's going into continuous changed. That's the secret. They
Speaker 1: don't tell you that you can never actually reach that
Speaker 1: point UM, but they'll convince you you can, and then
Speaker 1: they will sell you or tell you to do different
Speaker 1: diets or work out or squat or drink this, do
Speaker 1: that by this, and you will get closer to that.
Speaker 1: And then when every when it doesn't work and you
Speaker 1: don't get there, never blame diet culture. Oh no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: blame yourself. You don't have willpower, you couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: You're not good enough. Try again, by again. And so
Speaker 1: when I really kind of took a step back and
Speaker 1: realized that that's how the billion dollar diet industry was functioning,
Speaker 1: you're able to realize this is ridiculous. I'm never going
Speaker 1: to get a magic wand waved over me that says
Speaker 1: you are beautiful in every way and you're perfect and
Speaker 1: you never have to change. Because even the Gigi headids
Speaker 1: and the Kim Kardashi they don't get that Wand there's
Speaker 1: people who think they're not pretty enough. There to this,
Speaker 1: there to that. So it's complex. It's deeply rooted in
Speaker 1: our society in the way we talk, especially rely with
Speaker 1: you know, the generations before us. So hopefully by having
Speaker 1: conversations like this, we can kind of open the eyes
Speaker 1: of of everyone and kind of phase that out. Someone
Speaker 1: with your voice and the audience you have must also
Speaker 1: become a receptacle of people's problems, whether it's them contacting
Speaker 1: you after a speech or writing to you, or connecting
Speaker 1: with you on a direct message. How involved do you get?
Speaker 1: Where do you draw that line? I would say that
Speaker 1: years of this has definitely desensitized me, and it like
Speaker 1: hurts my heart a little bit to say that, but
Speaker 1: you do eventually get to a place where it happens
Speaker 1: so frequently, and it's every single day, like within every
Speaker 1: single hour that I am able to just kind of
Speaker 1: turn it off and like just notice this email like
Speaker 1: saving for admin, like not for me, like because I've
Speaker 1: had to protect my energy and way. And also if
Speaker 1: I were to stop and respond to every single message,
Speaker 1: I couldn't even do what I'm doing. That is warranting
Speaker 1: people sending the messages in the first place, and I
Speaker 1: know that they would want me to continue doing what
Speaker 1: I'm doing because it was impactful for them. So it's
Speaker 1: also like not realistic for me to put the expectation
Speaker 1: on myself to be able to respond and be there
Speaker 1: for everyone and like and hold that space, because sometimes
Speaker 1: I can't even hold space for the people in my
Speaker 1: life who I do love and who I am supposed
Speaker 1: to hold space for and I asked as a show
Speaker 1: for so you know, I would say time has helped
Speaker 1: because in the beginning I thought I had to do it,
Speaker 1: reply to everyone and make everything okay. So time has
Speaker 1: helped um, you know, really understanding my boundaries has helped.
Speaker 1: I talked about in therapy. You know, I've I've had
Speaker 1: I have had yes to kind of set limits there
Speaker 1: and also give myself permission to do that as well.
Speaker 1: And now a quick break. A lot of what we
Speaker 1: talk about on this show is women and money, because
Speaker 1: is there is such a huge relationship between a woman
Speaker 1: having freedom in her life and having the ability to
Speaker 1: choose her own path and being financially independent. What role
Speaker 1: has money played in your life and how do you
Speaker 1: think about it for your future. It's so funny that
Speaker 1: you asked this, because like, I just came off my
Speaker 1: bachelorette and you know, I got an influx of questions saying,
Speaker 1: you know, this looks so lavish, or like how did
Speaker 1: you afford this? Or who bought what? And it's like
Speaker 1: I know in my and of course I know in
Speaker 1: my life, like who bought what, the money that I make,
Speaker 1: what I what I spent on this x y Z.
Speaker 1: I'm almost afraid to have that conversation online because of judgment,
Speaker 1: because I think it is hard for women to talk
Speaker 1: about money for so many reasons. So it's like I
Speaker 1: shy away from the conversation, which I question too. I'm like,
Speaker 1: should I shy away? Like? I also think too with
Speaker 1: the work that I do, it's like people like to
Speaker 1: think I don't money, like I don't know if it
Speaker 1: registers for people, Like when you see an ad on
Speaker 1: my page, I'm being paid for that, I think. I
Speaker 1: definitely love being financially independent, paying for myself. In my relationship,
Speaker 1: I'm the breadwinner. My fiance works in real estate. I
Speaker 1: know the day we buy a house, everyone will think
Speaker 1: he bought it for us when he didn't. Like So,
Speaker 1: you know, I think about things like that, just constantly
Speaker 1: being the underdog and people thinking I don't make money,
Speaker 1: and and and vice versa. I definitely do come from
Speaker 1: privilege and I and I grew up in a family
Speaker 1: that was able to provide me with opportunities, and I
Speaker 1: don't have college debt, and so you know, those things
Speaker 1: are extremely significant. Okay, we have to do the speed round,
Speaker 1: So we asked a few quick questions. Who leaves you starstruck?
Speaker 1: Who leaves me starstruck? Taylor Swift, will you be changing
Speaker 1: your name? After you get married, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: adding it. So I'll be Victoria Garrick Brown and then
Speaker 1: I'll probably slowly phase out Garrick, but legally, yes, I
Speaker 1: will be Victoria Brown. What show are you watching right now?
Speaker 1: I am watching that new dinosaur documentary thing where they
Speaker 1: like they have you guys seen that? It's everyone's watching
Speaker 1: it right now. It's basically like David Attenborough and it's
Speaker 1: I think it's called a Prehistoric World and everyone needs
Speaker 1: to watch it. What is your morning routine? My morning
Speaker 1: routine is either one of two things. The first is
Speaker 1: snooze my alarm, check my phone in bed, put on pgs,
Speaker 1: and start working with unbrushed hair. Or it is I
Speaker 1: wake up at six thirty, I got outside on a walk,
Speaker 1: I exercise, I come back, I have athletic greens, I meditate,
Speaker 1: and then I start working at eight am. You never
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna get with me. Well, Luke Burns
Speaker 1: has been listening to our interview and he always comes
Speaker 1: in at the very end with the male perspective, so
Speaker 1: he'll be asking question the final question when you got
Speaker 1: so I guess courageous enough to to put it all
Speaker 1: the pen of paper in in to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Were you previously Were you like a person that was
Speaker 1: lying about those say issues, I wasn't lying about it.
Speaker 1: I probably was withholding the truth. I think I was
Speaker 1: worried that if I told someone, hey, I'm really anxious
Speaker 1: or I'm really depressed, that that would mean my coach
Speaker 1: would bench me. Why would he play someone who was anxious,
Speaker 1: My teammates wouldn't trust me. Um, my parents would fly
Speaker 1: down to school and like, take me, but I want
Speaker 1: to stay here. You know. I think I just didn't
Speaker 1: want anyone to know what was really going on, for
Speaker 1: fear of how that would affect the situation, which was
Speaker 1: one that I really did want. I was playing and
Speaker 1: I was on my dream team and I was at
Speaker 1: my dream school. So I think I just didn't tell
Speaker 1: anyone because I didn't know how it would be received. Um.
Speaker 1: And then once I slowly started to talk to people
Speaker 1: about it, and then I went to counseling, and I realized,
Speaker 1: you know, that it was okay, and that I was
Speaker 1: still a great volleyball player and my coach wasn't to
Speaker 1: bench me, And this is common, and this is why
Speaker 1: it happened to me, Like I felt so confident in
Speaker 1: that that then I was able to kind of take
Speaker 1: the ted talk stage, and I feel like I was
Speaker 1: three steps forward. So when someone asked you if you're
Speaker 1: like when you were really filling down, when someone asked
Speaker 1: you how are you doing and you told them you
Speaker 1: were good, I think it was less than I was
Speaker 1: trying to lie. If I'm thinking of a situation where
Speaker 1: someone was like, how how are you and I was
Speaker 1: not good, I probably would like maybe start to cry
Speaker 1: and be like stressed, like not good. Like I would
Speaker 1: probably cry, but I would wait for them to say, no,
Speaker 1: really tell me what's going on. How do you feel.
Speaker 1: It's like I wanted them to push me and say
Speaker 1: I want to know I care about you, and I
Speaker 1: would have taken the opportunity. It was almost like I
Speaker 1: was waiting for someone to do that um and so
Speaker 1: if they didn't, I would kind of keep its surface level.
Speaker 1: So Sam, I think one of the most interesting things
Speaker 1: about Victoria, and there are so many, is that she
Speaker 1: seems like she's at this crossroads where she's asking do
Speaker 1: I continue to stand in this place of being a
Speaker 1: mental health advocate for something that is becoming further and
Speaker 1: further in my rear view mirror. You know, after our conversation,
Speaker 1: I had a chance to download with my sixteen year
Speaker 1: old Ella, who was the first person to sort of
Speaker 1: turn us on to Victoria, and she was sharing that
Speaker 1: when Victorias speaks to young girls, it is so powerful
Speaker 1: and so transformative for their mental health. And I found
Speaker 1: it interesting that she was questioning, whether you know, she's
Speaker 1: not suffering now, so can she be this advocate? And
Speaker 1: I feel more strongly than ever before, that she should be.
Speaker 1: She should continue with the work she's done and continue
Speaker 1: to try to inspire young girls. I think there's such
Speaker 1: a place for that. But I also think that you know,
Speaker 1: she's getting married. As you evolve in your life phases,
Speaker 1: sometimes you think you have to leave a part of
Speaker 1: your career behind, and it's probably too early to do that.
Speaker 1: And hopefully she'll she'll come to that judgment on her own.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe maybe she's an even better speaker on
Speaker 1: the issue now because even though she has moved into
Speaker 1: this more joyous place in her life, Like it shows
Speaker 1: that you can, despite all of the challenges for young
Speaker 1: women today, despite you know all of it, right, like,
Speaker 1: you can get to this place of joy and happiness
Speaker 1: in moving forward exactly. Thanks for listening to What's Her
Speaker 1: Story with Sam and Amy. We would appreciate it if
Speaker 1: you leave her review wherever you get your podcasts, and
Speaker 1: of course, connect with us on social media at What's
Speaker 1: Her Story podcast. What's Her Story with Sam and Amy
Speaker 1: is powered by my company, The Riveter at the Riveter
Speaker 1: dot Co and Sam's company, park Place Payments at park
Speaker 1: place Payments dot com. Thanks to our producer Stacy Para
Speaker 1: and our male perspective Blue Burns