WEBVTT - Victoria Garrick 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:06.960 I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to What's 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.559 Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a show 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:15.400 about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and personal journeys. Together, 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.200 we'll hear from gold medalists, best selling authors, and leaders 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.840 of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday or 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:27.880 join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her Story Podcast. 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:33.520 Victoria Garrick is a mental health advocate for young women 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:37.080 and athletes. She's also a former Division one volleyball player 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:41.320 and has amassed one point five million followers across social media, 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:45.680 where she's known for her unfiltered campaign hashtag real post. 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:54.040 You have nearly half a million followers on Instagram. How 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:58.240 did you amass such a big social media following. I 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:01.520 never thought I want to be an influencer and I 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:03.600 want to gain a following, and like, how do I 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:06.480 map this out and do it? Which is ironic because 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.880 everything else in my life up until the time I 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.839 was probably nineteen did feel like a plan. I sat 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:14.399 down and I was like, this is what I want 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:18.440 this whole achieve it with social media. It was really 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:23.080 a snowball effect. I was studying journalism. At USC, I 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:25.520 thought I wanted to be a you know, sports broadcaster, 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.000 But at the same time, I was also a student athlete. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.120 I played on the LiveBall team there, and it was 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:37.400 this weird tug of war because I would be reporting 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:42.320 and writing articles on athletes and their stats and their 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:45.720 performance and you know, just all the things that a 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:49.280 general audience member could take from their game. But then 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:53.920 I was living and feeling something completely different as an athlete, 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.600 which was what was really going on off the court 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.440 inside of me that wasn't great, and that I was 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:03.320 struggling with anxiety and depression and body image issues, and 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:07.800 so I kind of realized there's this other story that 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:10.920 really needs to be told because no one's talking about it, 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.000 and I feel like I'm so alone in this. But 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:16.880 a long story short, there was an email came through 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:19.400 TED Talks was coming to U s C. I happened 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:21.839 to see the email. I had, I think, twenty four 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:24.880 hours to apply. I knew immediately I wanted to talk 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.760 about athlete mental health. I never thought about, like, I 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:29.480 want to give a TED Talk. How do I seek 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:31.960 it out? Like the email came into the inbox, as 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:33.840 it did everyone else at the school, and I applied. 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.280 I gave the Ted talk, and then that really kind 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:40.520 of caught fire throughout the athletic community, and then more 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:42.840 people kind of flocked to my Instagram and my Facebook, 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:47.000 messaging me, commenting, and then that's when I started to realize, Okay, 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:48.880 well I have more to share, I have more to say. 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:52.799 So I continued storytelling on my own platforms, and then 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.400 you know, you start a YouTube channel, You do that 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.720 for a year, another year, and then things grow and 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.720 we are here where we are today. End. Did you 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.560 feel like, okay, it's okay to talk about mental health 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:07.480 issues because even though so many young women and girls 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:12.200 suffer from them, very few feel comfortable sharing that aspect 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:16.640 of their life publicly. I realized that this was a 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.840 life or death conversation, and so I didn't even have 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:23.520 the wherewithal or the pause to be like, what are 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:26.880 people going to think? Oh? Like you know, I was 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.680 just like, we need to talk about this, and I 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.760 felt so almost I want to likely use the word 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:38.000 like furious, because I had been an athlete my whole life. 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:42.800 I'd never heard about a performance anxiety or you know, 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:45.800 being on your dream team and being depressed, and so 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:49.240 when this became my reality, which it then took me 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:52.240 like a year to really understand what I was thinking, 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:54.800 what I was feeling, to put words to it, to 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.240 see a therapist to start to get better. That when 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:01.480 I started to realize, hey, this is really really hard, 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.160 and this is not just me. I know, it's my teammates, 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:07.200 I know it's other people. No one's talking about it. 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:11.760 That's really what gave me, I guess, the courage to 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.760 just be so candid about it was because I knew 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:17.239 that the message needed to be shared. I knew people 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.120 would would resonate with it, and it was like I 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:24.440 believed in the conversation more than I was thinking about 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:28.760 myself or how people would perceive me. Um. So, you know, 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.880 when I was preparing to give this talk, and mind you, 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.280 you know, I have my parents who have done everything 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:36.280 they could have ever done my whole life to make 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:39.279 sure I was happy and had everything I'd wanted. And 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.960 my mom, I remember, was the one who said, are 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:45.680 you sure you want to share all of this? You know? 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:47.640 And it came from the I'm love my mom, She's 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:49.920 my best friend. It came from the best place. This 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.400 was no one was talking about this She was like, 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:55.279 you know, this is going to be on the internet forever. 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:58.040 Your future employers are going to see this. Um, are 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:01.080 you sure you want to talk about the suicidal ideation 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.080 on the bike? Like? Can we just remove that? You know, 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:05.960 little my mom's trying to protect me. That was really 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:10.840 the only time or instance I can remember someone being like, 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:14.080 I don't know if you should be this candid, But 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.320 I pushed back and said, you know, mom, this is 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.039 the truth. This is really how I felt, and I 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:22.240 share that not my mom is the best mom in 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:24.160 the world. And I might have done the same thing 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.520 and the same circumstance with a daughter who knows, but 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:29.599 I don't know. For me, I just had this knowing 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:33.040 that I needed to say everything. How did you go 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:36.279 about putting the talk together? Ted Talks came to s USC, 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.160 which is like TED x USC. They were going to 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:41.360 take six speakers. So I actually had already had a 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:44.960 notes page in my phone of like various things my 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.200 whole life, I've kind of, you know, pretended to be 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.560 a main character and just written down my thoughts and 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:53.479 feelings on plane rides and whatever. So I had detailed 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.800 remember this. One morning, I was late and for a 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.320 drug test, and so I was crying and the whole 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:00.720 team was gonna have to run and I had the 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.440 test and I literally just was like, I'm like, I 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.280 just like a dear diary in my phone, which then 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:09.160 ended up being the opening to my talk, which is 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:14.080 like this you know scenario where I put the audience 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.040 in my shoes and say this is what you have 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.160 to do. That came from like a deer diary entry 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.479 on my phone. So I was a journalism student. I 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.600 did love storytelling. I had that kind of in me. 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:28.200 It wasn't like I, you know, didn't have any background 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:31.240 in um, you know, being on stage or in front 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:35.159 of a camera. So that definitely served me well. Um Also, 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:39.000 you know, I definitely am like a type a person. 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:43.480 I do everything to the nines. I'm super thorough. I've 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:45.920 always been a good communicator. There were definitely a lot 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.840 of like innate qualities in me that I think primed 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:52.240 me to deliver like a really good TED talk at 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:55.480 nineteen with no public speaking experience, Like I was always 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:58.360 the girl who maybe didn't work on the group project, 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.360 but you better bet I showed up and I presented 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.040 it to the whole class. In high school like that 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.120 was always my role. So those things helped. UM. I 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:08.640 definitely reached out to, you know, my closest high school 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:11.360 english professor who I really trusted and said, I'm going 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.440 to give this talk, like can I run you know, 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:16.400 ideas through you? And UM he was helpful. My current 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:19.360 sports psychologist that I was in therapy with, I also 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:22.200 had conversations with her about you know, high level like 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:23.760 what are you saying? What does this mean? And so 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:27.360 I did have like those two mentors who I hopped 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.480 on maybe one or two phone calls with UM and 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:34.160 then yeah, I mean I never my dad, I think, 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:35.600 when he knew I was going to give a talk, 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:38.040 bought me one of those like Ted talk books. I 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:40.720 never read it. As much as I am type A, 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.480 I also love winging things and I'm like the queen 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:47.160 of leaving everything to the last second. And I remember 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:51.360 before going on stage, I actually hadn't rehearsed it. I 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:54.800 have been rehearsing it, of course, but not like many 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:58.560 many times. And right before I went on stage, I 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.120 was like starting to blink because I also memorized everything verbatim. 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.680 Because I've never given a talk before, I didn't have 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:08.360 the experience to be like, here's my high level subject. 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.800 Let me, you know, ramble on that for three minutes, 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:13.720 which maybe I can do that now. So I memorized 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:19.000 the entire eighteen minutes word for word. UM, and yeah, 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:20.400 I don't. And you know, you know, in that moment 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.360 I started to blink the I was about to go 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.960 on stage, and I just said, Victoria, even if you 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.240 did no prep, pen, you had no idea what you 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.920 were going to say, Like, you could go talk about 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:32.960 this for fifteen minutes because it's your life and it 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.320 matters to you. So I also think I just came 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:38.200 back to like the fact that I was speaking about 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:39.520 something I cared about. I don't think I could have 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:42.400 ever given a TED talk on chemistry. Victoria, wended your 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.440 own journey with mental health start and if you could 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:49.240 share with us what that's been like even until today. Yes, 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:54.960 So I did not struggle with anxiety or depression until college. 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:59.560 Looking back, I definitely UM have struggled with body image 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:04.200 and food since I was probably thirteen years old. And 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.880 at the time, you know, I thought, oh, well, like 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:10.760 everyone's on a diet, everyone weighs themselves, everyone tries to 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.760 lose you know, two pounds a week before the school dance. Like, 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:16.400 I didn't think any of that was disordered or unhealthy 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:19.040 or toxic, you know, And in hindsight, it's like if 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:22.920 you're fourteen drinking a slim quick shake, something's wrong. So 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:28.000 you know, those issues definitely had been there throughout childhood. 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:32.520 And then in college, you know, I had never experienced 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.439 anything like the performance anxiety I was hit with as 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.440 a college athlete. I was always confident, the go getter. 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.800 I mean, I earned a starting spot as a true 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:46.160 freshman because I was that confident and that fearless. And 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:50.800 then we're weeks into season and the pressure has mounted. 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:55.480 Practices intense, were undefeated, the number one team in the country, 0:09:56.040 --> 0:10:00.040 and that's when I really start to break down. And 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.240 and it was a shift in me that I have 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:09.000 never felt anything like before. Just no confidence, um constantly 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:12.880 thinking of the worst case scenario, constantly assuming everyone was 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.520 out to get me, I was going to make a mistake, 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:20.280 you know, hands shaking, eyes watering with tears, unable to 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:23.160 sleep at night, and just being like, what's going on? 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.440 And I actually, when I was cleaning out some boxes 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:28.240 the other day, I found like my college journal, and 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:32.280 I have this whole paragraph where I detail performance anxiety, 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.160 but I didn't know what it was. I was like, 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.480 I don't know why I can't sleep at night and 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.679 why I always think about making mistakes and I'm not confident, 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:43.640 Like I didn't know what it was because I hadn't 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:49.280 had that conversation. And how about today. I feel very 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.160 happy now and and in tune with my emotions. And 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:58.320 if anything, it's something I have to think about, is 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:02.640 how long can I continue in you advocating and kind 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:06.440 of recalling this traumatic time in my life as much 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:08.880 as it is for the betterment of current student athletes. 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.360 And I know the conversation is still important, Like I've 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:16.040 been doing this since and I'm happy now when I'm 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.440 planning a wedding and I'm not depressed, and I'm not 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.760 an athlete, and it's hard for me to go to 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:25.280 schools and speak and really mentally put myself in their 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:28.360 shoes when I work so hard to get out of them. 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:31.200 So I am in a great place, and I think 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.480 I try my best now to balance that with also 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:39.679 the experience I have that is also work. I'm passionate about. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:43.160 If you had to give a TED talk today, what 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:44.720 would it be about if I had to give a 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:48.040 TED talk. I think I'd want to talk about the 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:52.520 fact that finding meaning, purpose and success in life doesn't 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:55.440 have to come through achievement and going to the top 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.319 school and being on the top team and having followers 0:11:58.320 --> 0:11:59.960 and money and being a New York Times best selling 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:03.679 author and all these things that we are like raised 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:07.160 in condition to believe that like equate to happiness, actually don't, 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:09.920 and that it's enough to just want to have a 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:13.480 joyous life. And when you think about people you encounter, 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.520 I mean, when I meet someone who's happy and joyful 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:21.280 and they're radically authentic, that is inspiring. I could count 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:23.560 the people on my hand the few people who I 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:27.480 think are joyous and genuine and that actually impacts and 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.320 inspires me when I'm around them. And so it's like 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:34.440 the way that we can change the world by being 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.959 ourselves and cultivating happiness can cause the ripple and the 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:39.640 person you meet in the next person you meet and 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:41.280 change the world. You don't have to be the next 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.880 Oprah win through the next few jobs. And you know, 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.400 that's like something I've been sitting with a lot recently 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:51.600 because as much as my whole career has come out 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.040 of the anti you don't have to be perfect, you 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.640 don't have to look perfect. I kind of got lost 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:59.960 in Okay, well, I'm gonna be the best influencer who 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.560 talks about being real, Like I'm gonna be the most 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:05.480 popular influencer who encourages you to be yourself. It's like 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.240 the achievement snuck back in, and so now I'm trying 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:12.720 to dial back to, like, you know, how can I 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.640 manifest happiness in my life and not worry about what's 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:19.200 happening externally? Are you joyous? Yes? I would say that 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:23.720 I am. There's definitely uh. I think there's one main 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.000 thing in my life I wish could be different which 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.400 would make me more joyous. I think I thrive off 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.520 of talking to people and interacting with people. And I 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:33.439 am self employed and I work for myself, and I'm 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.720 alone a lot of the time, and it's fairly hard 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.400 for me to just create environments Like I miss middle 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:40.199 school when you would show up in seventh grade and 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.679 you all took math class and science together and you've 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.360 got to go to recess. It was just fun. And 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.600 I think now as an adult, you have to like 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.320 make plans to hang out with people, and I think 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.920 I I would love to find a way to have 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.960 more community in my everyday life. I've thought about maybe 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.000 I want to do like improv classes. I'm not an actor, 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:00.880 I'm not a comedian, but it would just be fun 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.720 to go somewhere with no phones or computers and be 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.240 uncomfortable with other humans. So I don't know. That's why 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:08.880 I'm trying to work on. But overall, yeah, i'd say 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:14.640 I'm joyous. And now a quick break. Can you envision 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:16.880 a life where your not online as much for you, 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:20.000 you aren't speaking to your social media following, where that 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.640 isn't happening. What does that look like for me? It 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.520 does actually make me really happy when I have a 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:28.840 creative idea and I get to execute it and make 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:30.520 it happen and then put it out into the world 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:33.320 and like see comments that it's helped people. So that 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.960 definitely does make me happy and bring me joy. I 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:41.960 do think I've realized that there's happy medium. So I've 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.760 had to kind of think about, you know, how can 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:48.200 I compartmentalize the fact that, yes, this is my job 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:51.960 and so I have to do it, but also I 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.960 want to make sure that I don't pass away. And 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:59.080 if you know, the Higher Power broadcasted the hours I 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.320 spent on my phone that it doesn't equate till like 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:04.640 twenty years. That would like I think discussed me right, 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.880 But I think I'm on that track. So I can't 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.520 imagine myself maybe not online because I also have to 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.320 support myself and make money. So it's it's interesting, but 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.000 I also love my job. I'd rather be doing what 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:16.920 I'm doing than like doing something I hate. How long 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.600 does it take you to make a real video? It depends. 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.880 I mean, I you know, a few weeks ago, I 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:27.080 had this thought on boundaries, and so I pull out 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:30.400 my phone and it takes sixty seconds to just record 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.640 my thoughts and put that out into the world. Other times, 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.600 if I have, you know, an idea of a video 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:40.000 I want to make, where maybe one parts in the kitchen, 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.600 the next parts on the couch, the next parts outside, 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.360 it takes a little longer, but it's fun. I mean, 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.080 when I was in like sixth grade, I used to 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:51.160 make videos and music videos with my friends, and so 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:54.800 I love the creative process for sure. Is there a 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.760 team behind you and I are your videos planned out? 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:01.280 I have like three people who worked for me part time, 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:04.720 who like assist with various things, whether it's communications and scheduling, 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:08.840 help with the podcast. In terms of content, I really, 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:10.800 I mean I do it all myself. I think that's 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.000 also a misconception. Is you know we see in the movies, 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:17.000 you know, an agent in Los Angeles saying I want 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.200 to make you a star, and they pull you out 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.080 of a coffee shop and they like, do everything you 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.120 need to do and you become the next Taylor Swift. 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.200 Really it's not like that, And in this industry, you're 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:28.920 not going to find anyone who's going to say, here's 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.440 what you have to do, and I'm gonna help you 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.760 do it. Like No, they're either doing it because they're 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:33.960 getting a cut of your money they want to make 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:35.960 money off of you, or it's a friend who's meeting 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:38.240 you for coffee and maybe they are genuine for that hour, 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:40.560 but their life isn't dedicated to like helping you with 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.400 your brand. So for the most part, I would say, 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:47.040 like creators, it's coming from their brain, their creativity. They're 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:50.160 making the videos, they're doing everything. I very recently try 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.680 to create a method to the madness by hiring like 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:55.840 a content specialist who I meet with every Monday, and 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.360 we go over like, what's coming up this week. You know, 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.680 Tomorrow I'm trying my my wedding dress. I'm going for 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:05.160 my first dress fitting. So we we realized that on Monday. 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.680 We then are pulling some ideas that I can film 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:09.640 in the moment, you know, when I'm in the car, 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.760 can I take a video talking about how I'm feeling, 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.080 And then when I get back in the car, can 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.840 I talk about how it went. So I do plan 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:19.240 it in the sense now that I'm thinking ahead, but 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:21.639 I have no idea what I'm posting today. You know, 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.159 it might come to me. Um, we could finish the podcast. 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:25.680 I'll be like, we talked about something amazing. I want 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:27.320 to find a photo and write a caption that really 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:31.720 coincides with that. So, you know, it's intuitive, it's a lot. 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:35.520 It's definitely an entrepreneurial life. Do you take breaks. I 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:41.000 actually hadn't been really thinking about that ever, and I 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.320 kind of worked with the rest of the world, you know, 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:45.760 Monday through Friday nine to five, when like my fiance 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.040 is working, I'm going to work too. But oh wait, 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:52.200 on Saturday and Sunday, I'm also posting because that's when 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.359 everyone's on their phones and they're not working. So I 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:56.560 realized I was kind of like working all the time, 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:59.040 and even when I finished working on a Wednesday at six, 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.400 like with what I have to do if Max comes 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:04.840 home when we start cooking, or um, you know, something happens, 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:06.840 or I try on address and it's too small. It's 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.439 like I might think I want to pull out my 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.840 my phone and like document this experience because it's on 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:14.639 brand and it's helpful. So I realized I had no 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:18.040 boundaries and I didn't take time off. So now I 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.760 have been more mindful about that, like the days I 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.560 do put my phone away and it's away and I'm 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.400 going to enjoy my night. Or sometimes I will take 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:28.800 a Tuesday off or a Thursday off because I know 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:32.240 I need to work on Saturday and Sunday. So I've 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.560 been kind of leaning into that more. And it's only 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:37.760 something I've recently become aware of. How did you meet 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:41.680 your fiancee? UM? We met in college. He we both 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:46.240 played sports at USC and so we met UM freshman year. 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.679 But then, you know, it took me a year to 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:50.639 realize he was he was a good guy, and I 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.639 should I should go on a date with him. So 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:55.040 then my sophomore year, I went out with him, and uh, 0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:58.880 we've been together for six years. You've now worked with 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:03.920 thousands of young women and girls. Have you noticed any 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:09.399 patterns about confidence and body image and the evolution of that? Yes, 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.280 I feel like and I can only, you know, make 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:17.040 this educated assumption because I'm current. You know, I'm not 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.800 fifteen right now experiencing what they are, and I'm coming 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.280 out from a different lens. But if I think about 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:26.000 the fact that when I was in high school, the 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:30.159 body image issues and dysmorphia and insecurities that I felt 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:36.480 without TikTok, without the influencer, without all of those things, 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:41.080 like and I was suffering, I can only imagine how 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:46.040 that's been amplified now by the way that young girls 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.800 wake up, grab their phone and then are waking up 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:52.040 to a photo of Kylie Jenner in a bikini. I mean, 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:53.879 and that does something to you and it makes you 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:56.720 think about how you look. And I just think that 0:19:56.880 --> 0:20:03.400 constant access to this perception of beauty that is unattainable, 0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:07.520 not often real, right, if there's photoshop or they're posting 0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:09.520 saying that they ate this for lunch, but they really 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:12.760 didn't need that for lunch. And there's filters, and there's 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:16.280 other people in your class whose parents do allow them 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:18.359 to be on every platform and you're not allowed. So 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.600 are you missing out on the social things? And the 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:22.960 cute guy that you have a crush on or girl 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:26.240 is on Snapchat and you're not on Snapchat? Like so, 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:30.600 I think we're seeing, you know, the highest rate of 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:32.720 mental health issues we've seen. I mean, we're in a 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:36.760 mental health crisis and it's sad and it's terrifying, and 0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:38.520 I have no idea like how I would want to 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:41.399 handle it when I have kids one day. I do 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:45.840 find it so interesting that even the idealized bodies have 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:49.399 changed over the course of the last ten years, and 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:53.680 I wonder how that impacts body image definitely. I Mean 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:57.040 when when my mom was growing up, it was being 0:20:57.040 --> 0:21:00.439 as thin as possible, like Cindy Crawford, you know, Twiggy, 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:03.800 that was the ideal. Um, no one wanted a huge butt, 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:06.120 Like having a big butt was like a bad thing, 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:09.000