Speaker 1: I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and aid Urmano and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 3: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about every scared her?
Speaker 3: Was it fine? Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do your need ride.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris? Welcome to do your need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks. I'm here at Lax, my least
Speaker 3: favorite place in the world. I just decided that I've
Speaker 3: never really come to terms with it. But it flew
Speaker 3: out of my mouth effortlessly, so I know that I
Speaker 3: mean it. I'm picking up my guest today, Karen Kilgareff.
Speaker 3: You might recognize her from a number of things, one
Speaker 3: of them being guest host of this show. So once
Speaker 3: she gets in the car, she will probably just be
Speaker 3: the guest host and it's going to be terrific. She
Speaker 3: was just opening for Amy mann. Uh you remember her
Speaker 3: from till Tuesday. That's the name of the No one's
Speaker 3: here to answer. I'm alone. I've noticed taxi drivers. I'm
Speaker 3: in a line of cars right now. I thought I
Speaker 3: would just pick her up and I wouldn't be talking
Speaker 3: to myself this long. But it's I'm sure you forgive me,
Speaker 3: or please I beg you to. I'm not sure, but
Speaker 3: I'm sure that I'm begging. Taxis are more polite now.
Speaker 3: I think they know that the gig is up, or
Speaker 3: the jig is up, the dance is over, and they,
Speaker 3: you know, Uber and lyft Man, we'd all rather be.
Speaker 3: There's no urgency, there's no anger, there's no credit card disputes.
Speaker 3: The last three or four of my taxi rides ended
Speaker 3: in anger from either the driver. Okay, it was me
Speaker 3: all those times. But see, I'm not angry anymore? Am I?
Speaker 3: Now that I'm taking rides from some girl with a
Speaker 3: neck tat and pink hair, I don't care that she
Speaker 3: has dogs. I welcome that hair on my black slacks.
Speaker 3: Black slax? What am I eighty? Okay, I'm finally picking
Speaker 3: a kick. There's a line I hate lax. Isn't the
Speaker 3: air horrible? More? Comedians should do jokes about how awful
Speaker 3: it is here and on airplanes? Just travel in general.
Speaker 3: It's fodder that. I don't think it's been tapped into
Speaker 3: much in the last since I last saw a stand
Speaker 3: up comic, which was last night. All day, I haven't
Speaker 3: heard anything about it all day. Going to Zone five
Speaker 3: picking her up at Delta, I am in a eight
Speaker 3: Honda Cord of which I own. I am a owner
Speaker 3: of a car and a garage where I rarely park it.
Speaker 3: It's where I keep my desk and my power tools. Okay,
Speaker 3: we're gonna pick care enup. I promise this is like
Speaker 3: a you can fast forward. Maybe i'll pop you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna pause. There's just so many taxis pausing and unpaused.
Speaker 3: Karen col Garff is in the car.
Speaker 1: Hi, everybody.
Speaker 3: That was hard for her and hard for me. There
Speaker 3: there was a lot of There was a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Delta is an intense spot today, Delta five, Alaska six.
Speaker 1: I don't recommend it. You've got people like this and
Speaker 1: don't know how to drive.
Speaker 3: She was like, okay, She's like, I'm doing this.
Speaker 1: Hi, I've got my dad's bite Mercedes. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: ahead and pull in. Okay, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm good. Until I got I was just
Speaker 3: ranting to myself about how I suddenly realized how much
Speaker 3: I hate lax and I want to change the format
Speaker 3: of our podcast.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, do you need to go to the zoo?
Speaker 3: Do you need the park?
Speaker 1: Do you need a massage?
Speaker 3: Do you need a massage? It's great. Then we have
Speaker 3: to become those.
Speaker 1: People though, like a new age people.
Speaker 3: Strong handed people with a bed that they bring around
Speaker 3: at different houses. I'm messuses, yeah, MESSI.
Speaker 1: I believe they're called Massi warriors. Uh.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: The thing is, it's a lot of work on our part,
Speaker 1: but people love messuses. I mean every time I've been
Speaker 1: to messuse, I'm like, hey, don't you love them?
Speaker 3: It is there is an element of I've given up
Speaker 3: and there's no other way to go. When someone says
Speaker 3: they're in massage school, though, it's it's over. You learnt
Speaker 3: as good of a painter as you thought.
Speaker 1: You don't know that. So what if there's a child
Speaker 1: who was born with healing hands and they were like,
Speaker 1: this is my calling, I'm gonna heal the world, this
Speaker 1: whole lax of a world.
Speaker 3: I just I think of this child with big, strong
Speaker 3: baby hands.
Speaker 1: Just a baby, but with man hands, just oiled up
Speaker 1: with baby oil, and I'm just kind of grabbing at
Speaker 1: you and touching you and just healing you with golden light.
Speaker 1: Cameron Cameron Manhans is one of the better baby actresses.
Speaker 3: So good the dancing alone.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, let's get serious.
Speaker 3: Let's get serious. For gods, let's.
Speaker 1: Really focus on this podcast.
Speaker 3: But honestly, yeah, no, more we are the I talked
Speaker 3: to Mike Flynn that works at a C T. Yeah,
Speaker 3: a T C a C Austin Community Theater. Yeah, Austin, Texas.
Speaker 3: They have a great they Annie. They had Annie last year.
Speaker 1: Stuck with that day, had it last year?
Speaker 3: More bucks? I need more bucks to fund this war.
Speaker 3: I uh, I think that. Uh. He said that because
Speaker 3: they have their new studio, which of course we won't utilize. No,
Speaker 3: we have our mobile studio.
Speaker 1: We have our own studio.
Speaker 3: He was saying, we had what about some cross promotion.
Speaker 3: Why don't we you just pick up Eddie pepatone and
Speaker 3: take him to the studio when he about to do
Speaker 3: his post.
Speaker 1: That's a great idea.
Speaker 3: And it's a day, you know, then we it's some
Speaker 3: more schedule you schedule negotiable because we you and I
Speaker 3: are busy.
Speaker 1: Chris You're just a vision to me right now. You're
Speaker 1: just When you spend any time traveling, you are surrounded
Speaker 1: by enemies and monsters and people who sneeze without covering
Speaker 1: their goddamn mouths. And I get into a car with
Speaker 1: my friends who I love and who always has a
Speaker 1: very flat brimmed baseball cap on, and I am soothed.
Speaker 3: If you ever want to make me angry and we
Speaker 3: aren't in traffic, grab my hat and try and bend
Speaker 3: my flat brim.
Speaker 1: To make it like a nineties baseball style.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly like I remember as a kid, a
Speaker 3: little kid, you take a baseball and wrap it with
Speaker 3: rubber bands around the bill of your hat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to shape it.
Speaker 3: Thinking of my actual catchers, Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's that's actually a mint. Were you a catcher?
Speaker 3: No? No, no, I forgot my glove.
Speaker 1: Michaelove, Like they're all called cat well, you know, technically
Speaker 1: they all are catchers. Min's right, that's what you're doing.
Speaker 3: Right, but technically not everyone playing baseball is a catcher.
Speaker 1: Technically, if you want to, let's not be technical. Ever, No,
Speaker 1: I hate technically type people.
Speaker 3: Let's keep it simple and without knowledge.
Speaker 1: Keep it simple.
Speaker 3: Favorite, Hey, get a load of that.
Speaker 1: Hey, it's muffler, Dan.
Speaker 3: I can't hear anything. Oh what did I do?
Speaker 1: Did you turn the hole machine off?
Speaker 3: I turned the machine off, this machinery. Enough with your hog, So,
Speaker 3: enough with your.
Speaker 1: Hog, Daddy war hogs.
Speaker 3: Nice entire sleeve of tattoos. You've got yesterday in one
Speaker 3: sitting poser.
Speaker 1: Poser, Oh, he has the last laugh with this huge muffler.
Speaker 1: That's why they do it.
Speaker 3: It's funny that when I hackle guys on two wheels,
Speaker 3: they always hear me. They feel it, they feel the rhythm.
Speaker 1: And of the night.
Speaker 3: It's the rhythm of the night.
Speaker 1: It was, it was, It was super fun She asked
Speaker 1: me the day before. So I was like, normally in
Speaker 1: that situation, I always going no, I can't because it's
Speaker 1: like I think it's too much to organize or something. Right,
Speaker 1: But I'm I've started a new lease on life. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I told you this, but I've started
Speaker 1: in new lease on life. The day after thanksgivings.
Speaker 3: Better, Oh, I get it.
Speaker 1: That was a pun. Look a crane, that's good luck.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Oh he's had his neck broken before.
Speaker 1: We just saw a total city crane. Like a crane
Speaker 1: that's been around the block a couple of times.
Speaker 3: If you ever, like in a cartoon or something where
Speaker 3: they follow a clog going down some plumbing. He had
Speaker 3: one of those Vendi parts that goes around a corner
Speaker 3: and food goes down into a.
Speaker 1: Poor goose gizzard. So very last minute, I jumped on
Speaker 1: a flight. I got a car to the airport.
Speaker 3: No baggage, no bag.
Speaker 1: Well I have that very small carry on bag, but
Speaker 1: that was my thing. I was so excited. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm only there one night. Oh are the same jeans.
Speaker 1: I'll bring a pair of show shoes and a show
Speaker 1: shirt and some toiletries and I'm gonna, like, you know,
Speaker 1: travel really sleekily and really easily, which is great. And
Speaker 1: also because I got to use her guitar so I
Speaker 1: didn't have to bring my guitar, which I love. Yes
Speaker 1: I did. It was very I'm such a I don't know,
Speaker 1: you know, I never had lessons, so I know I'm
Speaker 1: strumming kind of like a gorilla would. If you gave
Speaker 1: a gorilla a guitar.
Speaker 3: You are well you're technical, and I promised I wouldn't
Speaker 3: get technical talk.
Speaker 1: We made promises, but I'm just saying you know, you
Speaker 1: want to do right by Amy Mann. You want to
Speaker 1: impress obviously her whole band and ted Leo, who is
Speaker 1: she's on this tour with.
Speaker 3: Were the Pharmacists?
Speaker 1: Yes, along, No, well, I don't know. Some of the
Speaker 1: guys that were in the band with them could have
Speaker 1: been in the Pharmacists. Cool, but I don't know the
Speaker 1: band well enough to say, but they were all the
Speaker 1: coolest people. Yeah, he's great, Like I didn't know that
Speaker 1: much about him, but anyway, the whole thing was.
Speaker 3: Very sounds crush well, I mean.
Speaker 1: I think you can't not have a crush on ted
Speaker 1: Leo though. He's super cute and he's really talented, and
Speaker 1: he's like really funny. He's just kind of one of
Speaker 1: those guys. He's already he had a good hat on. Cool. No, no,
Speaker 1: it's not the number one hat, but he did have
Speaker 1: a cool hat on, and we just it was just
Speaker 1: very fun and like, I don't know when I get
Speaker 1: to play my comedy songs, but in a venue where
Speaker 1: it's set up for beautiful sound, it makes me better
Speaker 1: at doing it, so then it's very very it's so
Speaker 1: much more rewarding and.
Speaker 3: Not expecting comedy. They probably really enjoyed you a lot.
Speaker 1: They did. It was like they set it up. It's
Speaker 1: a variety show.
Speaker 3: Coffee, you got coffee, you seed? I didn't. I forgot
Speaker 3: what kind of lot to you like? So I got
Speaker 3: sesame seed. No, sorry, season my cup Let's just go
Speaker 3: ahead and tell on me. My cup holder is filled
Speaker 3: with sunflower seed shells.
Speaker 1: I'm cool with it.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm like a third base coach.
Speaker 1: Constantly giving me the signs pulling your ear and rubbing
Speaker 1: your chin, and I have on your ears the saddest guide.
Speaker 1: What is this like a fancy? It is a latte haunt.
Speaker 3: Let's lower a coffee expectation.
Speaker 1: Coffee, the soy milk.
Speaker 3: It's drip with coconut milky.
Speaker 1: So but this was the Twistaroo that I wanted to
Speaker 1: throw in all a wonderful experience, very fun and exciting
Speaker 1: to do at the last minute, and all that, and
Speaker 1: to be asked to do. I was so into all
Speaker 1: those other things, and I like downloaded a book on
Speaker 1: tape on my phone so I would like have things.
Speaker 1: I was all prepared. I left my house because a
Speaker 1: car came and picked me up. I didn't wear my glasses,
Speaker 1: so I just spent the last twenty four hours only
Speaker 1: being able to see two exactly. I almost got on
Speaker 1: the wrong flight. I tried to get on the wrong
Speaker 1: flight this morning, and the lady's like, you're on the
Speaker 1: next flight, all mad, okay.
Speaker 3: And you just walk down a hallway that doesn't go
Speaker 3: to a plane and it rotates at the last minute.
Speaker 1: It gets me on a construction beam that leaves me
Speaker 1: in the air, and then there's so much distruction and
Speaker 1: mister town a plane. Oh what a wonderful view.
Speaker 3: We're getting off of this island.
Speaker 1: That's a different person, No same voice, is it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I sir Howell. Let's let's take a moment for this.
Speaker 3: Mister Howell was the voice of mister Magoo. I didn't
Speaker 3: know that remember his name anyway.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait, I'm gonna bring it all around. I
Speaker 1: just tweeted a joke about a person that bought a
Speaker 1: first class ticket on a Delta flight, and the end
Speaker 1: of the end of the tweet was, well, hello Thurston
Speaker 1: Hall the third Oh wow, literally just two hours ago.
Speaker 3: Retweet that right now and then proactively hyperactive go to
Speaker 3: retroactive retro in the style of the nineteen eighties, go
Speaker 3: to the internet, which didn't exist yet. We got to
Speaker 3: go iTunes, give us a review.
Speaker 1: Everybody, you get up and we got to beat Oh wait.
Speaker 3: We're supposed to beg people to go to iTunes and
Speaker 3: give us a review. Apparently that that brings home the bacon. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, also the mysterious person and it might be Breddystonell's,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure who runs the dinar fan tweet page.
Speaker 3: We have to mention that do you need to ride
Speaker 3: fan tweet page at d y nar.
Speaker 1: Fan tweet on Twitter on Twitter, join that, join that,
Speaker 1: become a part of our community, our ever growing family.
Speaker 3: Have posters, we have mugs soon to come. These things
Speaker 3: they don't exist yet, but we're going now soon. And
Speaker 3: then I found a bonus episode that you probably didn't
Speaker 3: even you know, and Chris or my dad did this
Speaker 3: once where it was like February and he literally forgot
Speaker 3: about a Christmas present that he hid upstairs in the
Speaker 3: attic and he brought down. He's like, oh, I think
Speaker 3: Santa left something. It made me believe in Santa until
Speaker 3: I was eighteen, So there's kind of a backfire. But
Speaker 3: I just remembered our very first episode, which we're coming
Speaker 3: up on a year. Once we hit the end of
Speaker 3: oh you mean like that test, so we'll have yeah,
Speaker 3: and I recall being very funny. It's just on my phone,
Speaker 3: but we'll doctor it up tonight. I'm having an intensive
Speaker 3: how to be a sound engineer seminar.
Speaker 1: So something you've always wanted to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and with Julia.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that's awesome. Julia is our savior. She has
Speaker 1: helped us so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Julia, Thank you, Julia.
Speaker 1: You are the best.
Speaker 3: So we like to start with the credits. Now, let's
Speaker 3: get to the beef.
Speaker 1: Now, what's your beef? Here's my beef. People who don't
Speaker 1: cover their mouth when they cough for sneeze on a
Speaker 1: plane where I am trapped and I have to breathe
Speaker 1: your hideous, outgoing expulsion.
Speaker 3: Who what, Yes, sneezes, that's just unhearded. That's almost worth
Speaker 3: you going. Oh whoa, I'm sorry. We live in a
Speaker 3: world where there's other people. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, although I have to say this. The lady I
Speaker 1: was on the airport shuttle this morning from the Crown
Speaker 1: Royal Plaza hotel near the San Francisco Airport, and the
Speaker 1: lady that was sitting next to me on this very
Speaker 1: crowded shuttle, sneezed and then turned in. I said, good,
Speaker 1: bless you, and she said, I'm not sick. I swear
Speaker 1: to that, and then we both started laughing, and then
Speaker 1: we just both started talking about people that don't cover
Speaker 1: their mouths or like just cripple on planes, that are
Speaker 1: just sick all over the Yah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, I snee I have never ever sneezed when sick.
Speaker 3: That to me is just straight from a nikewell commercial.
Speaker 3: I don't understand. I sneeze because I'm allergic to the
Speaker 3: world and so and I sneeze in groups at thirteen.
Speaker 3: So when someone says bless you, and then I know, hey,
Speaker 3: let's I have twelve more of these coming, and oh,
Speaker 3: I thought, yes again. And then they get more intense
Speaker 3: and then they say a zoon dight.
Speaker 1: I thought they're just making up ways to bless you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: from different countries around the world.
Speaker 3: And by the twelfth time I sneeze there, they have
Speaker 3: a sacrifice chicken and candles are burning.
Speaker 1: It turns into a whole voodoo thing. Curse you, sanchaia Uh.
Speaker 1: When you said I sneeze in groups of thirteen, I
Speaker 1: thought you meant it. You're allergic to large groups of people,
Speaker 1: Like if Baker's dozen of people makes you sneeze, and
Speaker 1: I was like, where is he going with this? What
Speaker 1: a wonderful creative person?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but instead it was just a boring story.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know I'm allergic, Like if thirteen people
Speaker 3: were in an elevator, I would sneeze just because there's
Speaker 3: not an affair.
Speaker 1: That's well, yeah, there's too many people. We got the
Speaker 1: Beat everybody.
Speaker 3: Round woll okay, we'll added that out.
Speaker 1: The Go Goes were the best.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they are the best. Yeah, the Go Gos were
Speaker 3: the Bengals.
Speaker 1: How dare you? I remember? We got the Beauty and
Speaker 1: the Beat album and me and my friend Nisha Benedetti,
Speaker 1: who lived down the street from me.
Speaker 3: What say her name again, and gave it to me
Speaker 3: as my name.
Speaker 1: The last name is Benedetti, the first name is Nisha.
Speaker 1: Their family, the Benedettis, ran the Clover store Netta. This
Speaker 1: Clover store had a dairy in my town that is
Speaker 1: now like the super fancy high end milk that costs
Speaker 1: six dollars that you get at Whole Foods with the
Speaker 1: one with the cow on it. That's from my hometown
Speaker 1: and the Benedetti's. They were just like the people in
Speaker 1: our carpool, and now they're like very fancy dairy producers.
Speaker 1: It's kind of awesome. It's like watching people. It's like
Speaker 1: growing up with the inventor of like Guda that it's
Speaker 1: a bad example, growing up with the inventor of drip
Speaker 1: French press coffee.
Speaker 3: So then now they're like and now it's a household name. Yeah,
Speaker 3: just like Jonathan Guda, the inventor. I don't know why
Speaker 3: it's a Guda because it's a dairy. It's a common
Speaker 3: thing now, But went back when we were kids, no
Speaker 3: one had Goda.
Speaker 1: No one gave a shit about whether or not there
Speaker 1: was bovine hormone growth in your milk. It wasn't a
Speaker 1: big deal, but that their milk was on the table
Speaker 1: in one shot of Gone Girl, and I almost applauded.
Speaker 3: I was so excited. I was fun. I had so
Speaker 3: much hometown part was that the best part of the movie.
Speaker 1: It was the the only good part of the movie. Strictly,
Speaker 1: what have you been doing?
Speaker 3: I have been acting in the movie cocktail with Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: that's right, how's that going good? It technically I did.
Speaker 3: I fell downstairs. There's a part where Brian Brown falls downstairs,
Speaker 3: and so we I'm forrest gumped into the movie for
Speaker 3: lack of a better superimposed into scenes. They kind of
Speaker 3: screwed Tom Cruise out of the way, and then I'm
Speaker 3: in Brian Brown's eye line, and then so he's kind
Speaker 3: of talking to both of us. There's kind of fight
Speaker 3: klubby in that way because now we're two people. But
Speaker 3: I'm in love with Tom Cruise and there's some scientology
Speaker 3: jokes and timer. But I fall down these stairs and
Speaker 3: so they built a green screen ramp that I just
Speaker 3: was diving down and rolling and I hit the I
Speaker 3: hit my head on a screw. There's only shit, And
Speaker 3: I was just sure when William's blood pouring down my.
Speaker 1: Face, did they get it on camera?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I'm bleeding up. I'm real, I'm really bleeding.
Speaker 3: I hope that one makes it in.
Speaker 1: But uh, that's like, did you have to get stitches?
Speaker 1: That's like a real cut there. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I maybe should have, but I just put some super
Speaker 3: glue on it. No, Yeah, that's what they do in
Speaker 3: the hospital. My dad cut off the tip of his
Speaker 3: finger on a table son he just dipped it in
Speaker 3: super glue and lived its life ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah shit, shit, y'all, But.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. It's very fun. But it's Mike up
Speaker 3: Church who's making it with me, and this guy T
Speaker 3: j Ammick. They're both very talented.
Speaker 1: Mike's hilarious, he's really good.
Speaker 3: They both smoke a lot of weed, and it's but
Speaker 3: that's how they I'm I can't. I smoked a little,
Speaker 3: and I see I was not able to act, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I made a mistake. I no longer know
Speaker 3: how to be myself. We have to wait a few hours.
Speaker 1: But you know what's interesting about that, the the me
Speaker 1: and Thanksgiving, that's the real I'm not smoking pot anymore
Speaker 1: because I, first of all, I do everything compulsively, so
Speaker 1: I have to do if I have one thing, I
Speaker 1: have to have twenty five, right, Like it's just that
Speaker 1: if I smoke one cigarette, I'll smoke the whole pack.
Speaker 1: So that's what I was doing. Like if I would
Speaker 1: get someone to be like, oh, here's a pot or whatever,
Speaker 1: then I would just have to I felt like I
Speaker 1: had to get it done.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was just completely like I went to
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving at my friend's house and I was just it
Speaker 1: was like I wasn't there. It was so weird. And
Speaker 1: then I was like the next day, I just was like,
Speaker 1: I'm done with this.
Speaker 3: I can't do it anymore, or certainly just do a
Speaker 3: better job, because I'm starting to think that it's I
Speaker 3: need to get on board with it. And there are
Speaker 3: certain strains or whatever that helped me. Not like one
Speaker 3: time I accidentally had some and all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: my hips felt good and I wanted to run and
Speaker 3: stretch and I was like happy, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: what kind is that? Let me write it down. But
Speaker 3: I was high and I forgot to get a pen.
Speaker 1: But I remember it.
Speaker 3: Drinking, of course, Yes, drinking's the worst. It pickles your
Speaker 3: guts and makes you want to and so everyone, right,
Speaker 3: not just me, no, every single person. Yeah, everyone wants
Speaker 3: to fight and has pickles and they're lower back that
Speaker 3: are painful.
Speaker 1: The pain pickles are probably the worst part.
Speaker 3: Case pain poole. No, I'm sorry, boss, it's a real
Speaker 3: girl back there killing me. Oh anyway, so they smoke
Speaker 3: and then that's how he's able to technically what he's
Speaker 3: able to do, like right in front of me, just
Speaker 3: deleted the green screen put me in and I it
Speaker 3: was lined up perfectly and I was falling down the
Speaker 3: stairs like they'll have to ad just like the lighting
Speaker 3: is the hard to duplicate the lighting from a movie. Yeah,
Speaker 3: in a green screen situation, that's the biggest obstacles. So
Speaker 3: it's a lot of waiting around, is what I was
Speaker 3: getting at.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 3: It's it's a lot of long hours with just like
Speaker 3: moments of action.
Speaker 1: But but that's so cool, what a great that's gonna
Speaker 1: wait to see it.
Speaker 3: I can't wait either. I hope that it becomes a
Speaker 3: viral thing and when it's online go to iTunes and
Speaker 3: given a good review. I just think that everything's on iTunes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all. It all dates back.
Speaker 3: I mean I think the YouTube will probably take it
Speaker 3: down because it's an existing movie.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe it doesn't matter because if people like it
Speaker 1: and see it, it's just the work, Like that's all
Speaker 1: that matters is you're not trying to make money off it.
Speaker 1: You're just trying to show here's our idea, and this.
Speaker 3: Is really fun. And it doesn't it's not disparaging towards
Speaker 3: top and it could be. I mean, he's really wasn't
Speaker 3: a good actor back then.
Speaker 1: No, he's not. That's not his thing. Really. He's a
Speaker 1: good runner. He's good at riding a motorcycle and then
Speaker 1: standing up on that motorcycle as he's riding it.
Speaker 3: He's good at jumping and stopping. Right about the lasers, He's.
Speaker 1: Really good at squinting. I loved Edge of Tomorrow though.
Speaker 1: I think that movie was so brilliant.
Speaker 3: I do not know Edge of Tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I think that's what it's called, right, that's the one
Speaker 1: where he keeps living the same thing over and over
Speaker 1: and getting killed in like a like a video game.
Speaker 3: Oh weird. I don't know it. Hi, how are you dude?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's there's some high school students in a muscle
Speaker 1: car who literally the kid in the passenger seat stuck
Speaker 1: his arm out the window to get over.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even though he was trying to pass you.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I they I everything about that situation. Give
Speaker 3: your uncle his gto back.
Speaker 1: The girls in the back seat aren't that impressed.
Speaker 3: And the one in the middle is not wearing a seatbelt.
Speaker 3: I know because a sixty a gto does not have
Speaker 3: a middle back seatbelt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, motherfucker, my.
Speaker 3: Dad had a gto like that, and uh. And he
Speaker 3: there's some guy that he had been in a fight
Speaker 3: with and he was like in high school and he
Speaker 3: had this brand new Gto and he saw him in
Speaker 3: a park and he just drove by him all slow
Speaker 3: in fifty style, was staring at him, and he ran
Speaker 3: the car into a pole.
Speaker 1: Oh. I didn't think it was gonna end like that.
Speaker 3: No, I thought that.
Speaker 1: That's really funny though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all of his tough guy stories and in him
Speaker 3: messing it up somehow, So that's hilarious, perfect kind of
Speaker 3: tough guy. I love that. In the end, the joke's
Speaker 3: on you, because violence doesn't pay unless you're a boxer,
Speaker 3: that's right, or a football player, or a lot of jobs.
Speaker 3: There's some jobs where it pays, but prison guard.
Speaker 1: It's it's better to be funny. It's way better to
Speaker 1: be funny.
Speaker 3: It is it is.
Speaker 1: I love your dad so much for crashing into that
Speaker 1: pool in.
Speaker 3: A gto just like that. That was a nice car,
Speaker 3: though it wasn't nice cards. I'm not a big car guy.
Speaker 3: Uh huh, that would be weird if I was. Yeah,
Speaker 3: just a large man with human arms and legs with
Speaker 3: a car body a car gat, I wouldn't. I'm not
Speaker 3: a big car man, you know, half man, half vehicle.
Speaker 3: And if you pour water on me, I turned to
Speaker 3: a transjam and all my friends jump in me and
Speaker 3: we solve crimes. But then I get angry and turn
Speaker 3: back to a high school student.
Speaker 1: Remember that cartoon with your friends still inside? That's how
Speaker 1: you punish them.
Speaker 3: It was called teen Wheels.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, did you make make And they go, oh.
Speaker 3: No, we have to get out of here, and they
Speaker 3: pour water on him, and his face would stretch out
Speaker 3: and his mouth had become a bumper and its fists
Speaker 3: would become wheels, and all of his friends would jump
Speaker 3: in him.
Speaker 1: Get in me, guys, that's insane.
Speaker 3: It was an insane probably Hanna Barbara. They would Those
Speaker 3: guys were always I mean, how do.
Speaker 1: High school students solve crimes? They don't know shit? Hey,
Speaker 1: oh do we have a huge high school following?
Speaker 3: Oh there's high school kids in the backseat.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, how you guys?
Speaker 3: Hey forgetting that gto I just was gonna say, what
Speaker 3: about the Scooby Doo gang? Love them?
Speaker 1: I was like velmot all for a whole twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: My glasses I just couldn't see anything, and I wasn't
Speaker 1: afraid of the ghosts that were chasing me.
Speaker 3: Oh I think I found them with my foot.
Speaker 1: She lost her glasses every fucking time. Oh wait, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying fucking anymore.
Speaker 3: Oh that's I what are you freaking? There's nothing else
Speaker 3: I know? I know, But yeah, I agree, And let's
Speaker 3: not say let's get it out of our system right now.
Speaker 1: Fuck fuck, I think I've already said it ten times.
Speaker 3: Hey, we're good. I'm not gonna say it anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm totally not gonna say it anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm grown up.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be a grown up. I also think
Speaker 1: that being being true to the expression that you want
Speaker 1: to have in the moment is important, right, But I
Speaker 1: don't think. I think the reason I say the effort
Speaker 1: is because I feel like it needs an extra zip
Speaker 1: that it doesn't actually need, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: I really want people to listen, but they're already listening,
Speaker 1: so just calm down, right, It's what I think when
Speaker 1: I listen to our podcast and hear me say the
Speaker 1: F word twenty times.
Speaker 3: Right, I like, I think the F word is a
Speaker 3: powerful word and it hasn't lost a lot of it's
Speaker 3: you know, zi is like it's dusto. It's it's a
Speaker 3: real spirit. It's got a lot of spirit.
Speaker 1: It's the loud muffler of words, isn't it?
Speaker 3: And so when you sparingly, it really drives a point home,
Speaker 3: especially if you're in church yelling.
Speaker 1: Or right in your dad's face justffing it up.
Speaker 3: I love the holidays.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Are you gonna go to any Christmas parties?
Speaker 1: Or have you gone to any Christmas party?
Speaker 3: I never do. I always go home for Christmas. So
Speaker 3: I just go to either my dad's or my sister's house.
Speaker 3: And it's not a party so much as hanging out
Speaker 3: with little kids and making cookies and slacks.
Speaker 1: Oh family stuff. But I meant like here in La,
Speaker 1: Like tonight, there's the one at the Virgil that Joel
Speaker 1: and Mandy are throwing. H Are you going to that?
Speaker 1: I was?
Speaker 3: I don't know that I was invited.
Speaker 1: No, it's not an invitation. It's like everybody party. It's
Speaker 1: like a comedy party at the Virgil.
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Think it's gonna be fun. A lot of people are
Speaker 1: going okay, and it's not they're throwing it for all
Speaker 1: the comedians basically cool.
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to think if I have a comedy concert.
Speaker 1: We'll just go after Okay, okay, bye, drop me off
Speaker 1: at this cemetery.
Speaker 3: Oh that's it. I don't like it when all the
Speaker 3: gravestones are all uniform and lined up and nope, it's
Speaker 3: just they might as well have a number on them.
Speaker 1: Well, because that's like World War two, right those are
Speaker 1: That's a soldier cemetery.
Speaker 3: Is it? Yeah? Goodness, yeah, I'm not comfortable with that.
Speaker 1: I really wish they'd stop sending the boys away to
Speaker 1: be killed. I really wish that's my Christmas wish. Are
Speaker 1: you going to join the army? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Still is that still your plan for New Year's that's.
Speaker 1: My safety net if this, if my writing thing doesn't work.
Speaker 3: Out, your New Year's resolution, it's to start.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine I feel like I can't climb up wall?
Speaker 1: Can I talk to somebody about the wall? I can't
Speaker 1: climb up?
Speaker 3: I think you should just keep your how it's your
Speaker 3: new job? Can you talk about your job?
Speaker 1: I think so. I mean like, it's I love it
Speaker 1: that I I think I could only because there's nothing,
Speaker 1: you know, inflammatory to say. It's I feel very lucky
Speaker 1: that I have it. It's a really really great group
Speaker 1: of people. They're super smart, they're really good at the
Speaker 1: technical aspect of how you write shows and so quickly
Speaker 1: and all that, and I just feel like I'm learning
Speaker 1: a whole new skill set at like at a point
Speaker 1: where I thought I was going to just be doing
Speaker 1: the same thing for the rest of my life. That
Speaker 1: part of it is so exciting, and it's like I
Speaker 1: feel very calm again for the first time in honestly
Speaker 1: like a decade.
Speaker 3: That's what employment or steady work does. It brings you
Speaker 3: a sense of calm. Yeah, it's not the money that
Speaker 3: buys your happiness. It's the not panicking about the next
Speaker 3: morning that buys you happy.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right, and which is because you have money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: So it rents happiness for a little while, it rents it,
Speaker 4: but then you what it is is it money doesn't
Speaker 4: buy happiness, It buys a peace of mind, and then
Speaker 4: you have to do other things that have nothing to
Speaker 4: do with money to get the happiness.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm right, That's why I'm slowly figuring it out.
Speaker 3: Soup kitchens and stuff.
Speaker 1: Let's not go crazy.
Speaker 3: You need to me.
Speaker 1: Time's mostly facials and massages up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like living on I like that. I need
Speaker 3: that edge, I need that panic.
Speaker 1: There's a lot to be said for for being fueled
Speaker 1: by real, like real threat, because I won't do anything otherwise.
Speaker 1: I never have, so like it has to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're going to foreclothes or blah blah, whatever the drama is.
Speaker 1: I need that to like, Okay, I'll finally write this
Speaker 1: script or I'll finally do a big thing.
Speaker 3: I need an envelope with red exclamation points on it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: before I take care of the I r s. Well.
Speaker 1: It kind of goes back to my personality naturally, is
Speaker 1: if you want me to do something, you have to
Speaker 1: ask me twice. I will always say no the first time,
Speaker 1: and it's almost like, then I know for a fact
Speaker 1: you really want me to do it because you've asked
Speaker 1: me second time.
Speaker 3: Oh that's funny. That's happened with us. You're like, I
Speaker 3: don't want to do this today. I'm like, are you
Speaker 3: sure I really think we should? Okay, I will, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I just wanted to see that if you really wanted to.
Speaker 1: It's almost it's you know what it is, It's laziness.
Speaker 3: It's like, hey, I'm there with you.
Speaker 1: It's laziness, right, And then it's kind of this like
Speaker 1: I just want to do the thing that actually is important,
Speaker 1: and I personally can't figure out what that is. So
Speaker 1: I need other people to be like, no, this is
Speaker 1: really important. And then I'm like, you're right, this is
Speaker 1: how I'll prioritize. But if it's up to me, everything
Speaker 1: seems either totally non important or like crazy important.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: I think it's just from being overwhelmed for a long
Speaker 1: time and not being able to figure it out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been feeling horribly overwhelmed as of late. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I have a lot of stuff that I'm excited about.
Speaker 3: I just need one of them to take off.
Speaker 1: Well, I have to say this about your project, this
Speaker 1: cocktail thing that sounds so funny, I honestly believe and
Speaker 1: this is all this is very woo woo, But like
Speaker 1: when you make something and you you like, work on
Speaker 1: something and create, it puts something out there that brings
Speaker 1: something to you that sounds so dumb in the secret,
Speaker 1: but I honestly believe it's true.
Speaker 3: You're right, And I've noticed that when I get busy
Speaker 3: on something and accomplish something, all this other. It just
Speaker 3: starts raining other opportunities.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you can't be passive. You just have to
Speaker 1: go at least start, go do something, and then things
Speaker 1: will build out of it and you might not get
Speaker 1: exactly what you're aiming for. You might it might not
Speaker 1: be a viral hit. It might just be that somebody
Speaker 1: awesome sees it and goes, oh, I want Chris Fairbanks
Speaker 1: to come and do this thing.
Speaker 3: That's that's I like that idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's lots of potential, but it's like you've you
Speaker 1: will have made a thing. It's the best idea.
Speaker 3: It's all make a thing in twenty fifteen, make a
Speaker 3: thing twenty fourteen. Can suck our dicks?
Speaker 1: Bye you two.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry I said sucks. I just wait talked about
Speaker 3: the work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but suck our dicks. It's it's conceptual though, it's
Speaker 1: like saying you don't have any control over me twenty fourteen.
Speaker 3: It's a little too visual you think of an actual
Speaker 3: number going on. I don't know how to get this
Speaker 3: dick into my ford. That's the one. Do I put
Speaker 3: it between the hole?
Speaker 1: I mean, if you close top it of the south
Speaker 1: the zero? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay? Or no?
Speaker 1: You make it. Yeah, like a triangle fore top.
Speaker 3: Okay, oh yeah, yeah Ben that so they're touching stick
Speaker 3: it right in there.
Speaker 1: Do you know you know Lynch Shawcroft.
Speaker 3: I do know Lynch Chakkraft.
Speaker 1: Wonderful, brilliant, amazing Canadian comedian and one of my favorite
Speaker 1: jokes that she ever said, uh was I'm a little
Speaker 1: stressed out today. I just started making my flours different.
Speaker 1: That's so her.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 1: I love her.
Speaker 3: She still love it up in the mountains.
Speaker 1: She has she lives in Big Bear, but then she
Speaker 1: like comes down to LA for shows and stuff.
Speaker 3: I guess I should and complain about living in Venice Beach.
Speaker 1: I love that way. Yeah, it's so long, but you
Speaker 1: have to wait. It's like three hours, right, Oh not
Speaker 1: that long? No, three hours or two hours?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Maybe two? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've been really wanting to go to the snow recently.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but like I think I saw
Speaker 1: a picture I saw giff on Tumblr of a really
Speaker 1: nice cabin, like from inside a cabin where there's crazy
Speaker 1: snowfall outside, but it was like a cozy cabin inside.
Speaker 3: I'm going to go home and stay in a yurt
Speaker 3: a heat a tenth for real, overnight in Montana and
Speaker 3: snowshoe and snowboard. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be great because I think I'm doing that.
Speaker 3: I hope I'm chimed it right.
Speaker 1: Is it all snowy there now?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, it'll it'll be uh, it'll be time to
Speaker 3: snowboard when I'm there.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: Well, hopefully my hip will be open to it.
Speaker 1: What could you do instead? If your hip was no good?
Speaker 1: Could you go on one of those discs and slide
Speaker 1: down a hill?
Speaker 3: I probably like sledding? Nah, I probably wouldn't. I'm not
Speaker 3: I'm not a thrill seeker. I just snowboarding is part
Speaker 3: of my life, so I feel obligated to do it.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, but I don't need to replace it doesn't
Speaker 3: provide something emotionally for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, you've been doing it forever, done it forever.
Speaker 3: And if someone said, yeah, you can't snowboard anymore, but
Speaker 3: what about these new they're called skis, I probably wouldn't
Speaker 3: start skiing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I hate skiings guts do Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like it better now that you can go
Speaker 3: backwards on them.
Speaker 1: I don't like is they're made differently?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah? They used to have just a flat end
Speaker 3: on the back and now they're double tipped and you
Speaker 3: can do five forties and land backwards and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Yet you hate it. I hate it. You hate jumping
Speaker 3: and spinning and stomping the landing.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, Pete used to do that. He's a
Speaker 1: great skier, my ex Pete, and so he took me
Speaker 1: skiing one time. It was the first time I'd ever skied,
Speaker 1: and his dad taught me, but very briefly, and then
Speaker 1: we went down the easy hill.
Speaker 3: Did you fall into a tree?
Speaker 1: Well, I know, but I thought I was going to
Speaker 1: the whole time. Yeah, And I couldn't.
Speaker 3: He didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't have enough practice learning how to stop. So
Speaker 1: it was like I was just going down a hill
Speaker 1: with no way to stop, so I couldn't. I kept
Speaker 1: jamming my It was awful unanimous with me and my
Speaker 1: friends when we were young.
Speaker 3: One of the worst things we could ever take up,
Speaker 3: take like a girl that we were interested in. When
Speaker 3: the moment it was like I want to go snowboarding?
Speaker 3: Will you teach me to snowboard? It would be the
Speaker 3: end of that, yeah, because it's hard. And then you
Speaker 3: have this there's this selfish thing with all of us
Speaker 3: where it's like I can't go ten feet and stop
Speaker 3: and see that you're learning. The best way to learn
Speaker 3: is to just go off on your own and kill it.
Speaker 3: No one's gonna say a series of things. I believe
Speaker 3: that there's a few things right up front that you
Speaker 3: should tell someone, but then you just got to learn
Speaker 3: and do it. It doesn't help to have someone and
Speaker 3: I I want to go have fun. I just paid
Speaker 3: for a lift ticket, I know. And and I took
Speaker 3: a girlfriend to Montana went since she fell in a
Speaker 3: tree well and snow covered her. She thought she was dying.
Speaker 3: And at the end of the day we were all
Speaker 3: on the lodge having fun, cocoa by the fire, and
Speaker 3: she's like came in like with a branch in her hair.
Speaker 3: Oh so angry. And that was kind of the end
Speaker 3: of that relationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, also my realization after that experience,
Speaker 1: because here's the most embarrassing part. I had to get
Speaker 1: taken down the hill by snow ski patrol on a
Speaker 1: like a sled, yeah, because I couldn't go anymore because
Speaker 1: my like my legs locked up because I it was
Speaker 1: really bad. And and that was that. It was almost
Speaker 1: like I felt like this we are fundamentally incompatible because
Speaker 1: I can't do this. I have no interest in doing this.
Speaker 1: I tried to do it because you love it, and
Speaker 1: you just skied all day and I had the worst
Speaker 1: to cross tortures day of my life.
Speaker 3: It's I've never had it. I've never had a date
Speaker 3: situation where that's the girl was already good at it.
Speaker 1: I hate to tell you this, but to get on
Speaker 1: the my area, you should be all the way over.
Speaker 3: To the left. Can you do it? To get on
Speaker 3: old pass? Yeah, the old pass, the underpass, That's what
Speaker 3: I mean. I uh where, Okay, it's anyway, Yeah, it's yes,
Speaker 3: it's I am excited to go snowboarding.
Speaker 1: Here's the other thing. I love the snow, but I
Speaker 1: don't like being in it. I like to be I
Speaker 1: like to look at it, and I like to be warm. Well,
Speaker 1: it's outside, that's the way I like it the best.
Speaker 3: I can't have a Christmas where it isn't white. I
Speaker 3: need a white Christmas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Christmas.
Speaker 3: Large, all that trailer, be.
Speaker 1: Scary and filled with captives, and.
Speaker 3: All your Christmases be knife and.
Speaker 1: Be knife at your throat, taking away against your will.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to listen to creepy Christmas music. Oh baby,
Speaker 3: it's cold outside.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's please get away from me.
Speaker 3: It's cold outside.
Speaker 1: I really need to go and I need to contact
Speaker 1: at the dream I grabbed my patchwork doesn't taste like wine.
Speaker 3: Man Cosby is guilty. Man. What do you do with
Speaker 3: an elderly man? He's not even probably all there?
Speaker 1: How do you solve a problem like a Cosby? How
Speaker 1: do you persecute a man who's raped everyone in the country?
Speaker 3: You just do? You just do? I think everyone's on board.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's it's kind of very difficult to deny.
Speaker 1: Although someone just told me a very funny story about Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: their mom going and everybody's saying something about what about
Speaker 1: Bill Cosby? And then mom, the mom, who was of
Speaker 1: course elderly, going, what that poor man is going through?
Speaker 1: We could not sell love it. It's just like that
Speaker 1: is It's like you can't even imagine someone having that reaction.
Speaker 1: But that's the disparate, you know, people seeing it differently,
Speaker 1: And at.
Speaker 3: Least it wasn't an old lady saying what that poor
Speaker 3: colored man is going?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Exactly. There's all these ways it could have been bad,
Speaker 1: but it was just bad in its own way. She chose.
Speaker 1: She chose choice.
Speaker 3: Aid when choosing a bad thing, you gotta pick a door. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you go down, rachel Or. I'm a woman, but I
Speaker 3: don't respect because I'm from the fifties.
Speaker 1: Let me get I'm not allowed to actually be a
Speaker 1: person that's with inalienable rets to not have be attacked
Speaker 1: and have things shoved inside me. I'm sorry. Maybe I
Speaker 1: just should have said the effort.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's cold. Oh come on, Bentley. Oh, Bentley, that's
Speaker 3: a sharp car. Get over one more because I'm no
Speaker 3: car man.
Speaker 1: No, they's nice, except for imagine those things are what
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty thousand dollars?
Speaker 3: Oh, they can't be that much, but I bet they're.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm gonna look it up on Google. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get in your face.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I think I bet you can get a
Speaker 3: Bentley for eighty five gees. Okay, ninety five.
Speaker 1: Geese, I say over, yeah, Bentlee, Maybe you're right.
Speaker 3: Then, Hey, that Honda looks like my Honda.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hannah doesn't have the eco leaf on the back.
Speaker 3: No, No, that's just a skateboard company that I put
Speaker 3: on there. Little for really, Yeah, it's not. This car
Speaker 3: is not in any way.
Speaker 1: This whole time, though I know badly. Car prices started
Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty and ninety five dollars.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's exactly what you said it would cost.
Speaker 1: Did I say one eighty?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, Karen. That deserves a fuck because I was right.
Speaker 3: You promised.
Speaker 1: So sorry, you promised. I promised, but only only when
Speaker 1: I'm being humble. But when I'm bragging and being kind
Speaker 1: of a showboaterer, I'm gonna f it up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that does it you? Okay, let's say f it up? Okay,
Speaker 3: fin Oh, get that piece of ass out of the road.
Speaker 1: Ye f ns.
Speaker 3: What the heck?
Speaker 1: H double hockey sticks? It takes so long to say
Speaker 1: all those ones?
Speaker 3: What was my trick? If I don't believe in gosh
Speaker 3: am I going to heck a lot of people like that?
Speaker 1: One? Was that recently?
Speaker 3: Yes, it's pretty recent, Chris.
Speaker 1: Maybe I muted you. No, there's no way.
Speaker 3: Oh well, I did go off on those rants that
Speaker 3: you didn't approve of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, when you were all like gamer gate, you
Speaker 1: went crazy for that. Oh god, oh my god, you
Speaker 1: are such a gamer.
Speaker 3: We were our original podcast. We were going to what
Speaker 3: was we were first going to talk about moms and Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we both have one.
Speaker 3: We both have moms. We both have moms with Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: And then are you gonna go see your mom? What
Speaker 3: is the holiday?
Speaker 1: Well, she's in a home now, so we go see
Speaker 1: her when I'm home. But she doesn't come home anymore, right,
Speaker 1: which is of course super awful, but better than when
Speaker 1: she was home and everyone was so freaked out and
Speaker 1: upset and there was just a thing after thing that
Speaker 1: was bad.
Speaker 3: Is she in an Alzheimer's specific place?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's really nice.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm everyone listening. I'm setting up for a big joke.
Speaker 1: Here, so get ready. Don't get sad joke where.
Speaker 3: I keep repeating the punchline and I.
Speaker 1: Don't know and then asking where you are?
Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom is currently in a Alzheimer's specific place. Yeah. Good.
Speaker 3: It is much better than weird old lightning behind a
Speaker 3: nurse cratchet one flew over the Cuckoo's Nest building on
Speaker 3: the side of a hill where the women liked her,
Speaker 3: but they did not know. All they do is put
Speaker 3: you in a corner. Yeah, like baby and then don't
Speaker 3: they don't engage at all. So these places, I know,
Speaker 3: they do things.
Speaker 1: It's yeah specifically. So well, that's the thing is so
Speaker 1: many people are getting it now have it and are
Speaker 1: getting it. It's like a it's it's like a plague.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievably horrible. So there's these places that are popping
Speaker 1: up because it's not just a nursing home. It's not
Speaker 1: just because you're elderly and you're you're all there, but
Speaker 1: your you know, your brain's there, but your body's falling apart.
Speaker 1: It's the opposite.
Speaker 3: I hate that there is not more research and trying
Speaker 3: to figure out how to combat it because it's kind
Speaker 3: of a how do we make money off people that
Speaker 3: are on their way out type of a not of
Speaker 3: a priority. Yeah, unlike cancer and things like that. But cancer,
Speaker 3: I'm on solving that too, of course.
Speaker 1: But of course, well everyone kicks the thing that affects
Speaker 1: their life and is hurt, you know that has like
Speaker 1: been the biggest bummer for them. That's just how it
Speaker 1: all goes.
Speaker 3: I think that most people have Alzheimer's. There's some kind
Speaker 3: of dementia in a family member, and even if it's
Speaker 3: a grandparent, which when you or I talk about our mom,
Speaker 3: someone's always like, oh, I know what you're going through.
Speaker 3: My grandma had it.
Speaker 4: You know what.
Speaker 1: Nope, it's not the same, not the same.
Speaker 3: My heart goes out, but only a little bit, only halfway,
Speaker 3: my heart barely emergent.
Speaker 4: I open my shirt and you can see the top
Speaker 4: of my heart pops out of the push it right
Speaker 4: back in real fast.
Speaker 3: You could just see the cleavage of my heart.
Speaker 1: It's sexy, yes, but you're not gonna get it.
Speaker 3: Cle cleavage of my heart beats to the rhythm of
Speaker 3: the night. Okay, all the way.
Speaker 1: Family, Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I always say I always saw that people people talk about,
Speaker 1: like complaining about people who know my mom's situation, and
Speaker 1: they complain about their mom in front of me, and
Speaker 1: I just stare at them, like, yeah, I'm not sure
Speaker 1: what you'd like me to say right now, because all
Speaker 1: I want to tell you is fuck off. Go call
Speaker 1: your mother, you ungrateful asshole.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and talk to her and have her talk back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, have her recognize you and know who you are.
Speaker 3: And to talk and how long is your how long
Speaker 3: has your mom had it? I'm just talking about this
Speaker 3: because a year ago or years ago, we talked about
Speaker 3: doing a podcast and we wanted to do it about moms.
Speaker 1: I know, I like it.
Speaker 3: We're approaching the end of the year.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, my mom got it in two thou like
Speaker 1: was diagnosed in two thousand and three. Okay, so it's
Speaker 1: been eleven years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1: Yet we're the same. And you know Chris Garcia the
Speaker 1: same deal. Yeah, his dad he I saw him to
Speaker 1: a set that was really amazing.
Speaker 3: I heard about that and I want to see it
Speaker 3: and I bet it's recorded somewhere right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, no, I think he's doing That's kind of
Speaker 1: what his act is a little bit now. But we
Speaker 1: should get a hold of him. We should do some
Speaker 1: kind of fundraising.
Speaker 3: That would be terrific.
Speaker 1: We should do a show and then everybody who has
Speaker 1: this in their life can feel like they're helping out somehow. Well,
Speaker 1: don't need a bunch of money.
Speaker 3: It really made me like, oh god, I always forget
Speaker 3: it joanah, God, No, what's his is? Uh? The actor
Speaker 3: that everyone knows? Yeah, I love that he has gotten
Speaker 3: I hate that I can't in this conversation. Oh what
Speaker 3: got the War of eighteen twelve.
Speaker 1: You're just being thematic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he has brought I feel like, single handedly has
Speaker 3: brought a lot of attention to it.
Speaker 1: Yes, Also I love that guy. Yeah, and I've only
Speaker 1: heard great things about him because like a lot of
Speaker 1: the people that work on my show have worked on
Speaker 1: the Comeback or we're around the Comeback and he's on
Speaker 1: it right now, which is it's also Michael Patrick King's show,
Speaker 1: and they all say the same. He's like the loveliest guy,
Speaker 1: so nice, so funny, like everyone just adores him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no way he isn't because based on and
Speaker 3: I'm not talking about his entertainment, entertainment ability at all,
Speaker 3: just him talking about his girlfriend now wife's mom or
Speaker 3: that's how he got in, Oh my good friend's mom.
Speaker 3: I'm going to be outspoken about this, yeah, like, oh,
Speaker 3: well then you're awesome. Yep. So the point is we're
Speaker 3: going to do a concert with Chris Garcia and Seth
Speaker 3: Rogan and hopefully I'll remember his name when I meet him.
Speaker 1: You're totally loops the Throgan in there, like yes, and
Speaker 1: he's doing it too.
Speaker 3: Thousands of this. We'll get back to him. He won't
Speaker 3: be able to this is a contractual agreement. It's on iTunes.
Speaker 1: I like this. This is like we're making a plan
Speaker 1: for twenty fifteen. That's actually we're gonna do some good.
Speaker 1: It's not just like us in our careers and none
Speaker 1: in it. It's like we're actually, that's very high aim.
Speaker 1: Well done, Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. I was just talking about adding it
Speaker 3: to my material my career.
Speaker 1: Oh I see, so waiting.
Speaker 3: As it can help our career, we should get involved.
Speaker 3: We're involved, of course. Kidding.
Speaker 1: Look at these two.
Speaker 3: Look at those kids. Oh man, they're just they're out
Speaker 3: of some Look at their punk rock. That's a girl
Speaker 3: that that likes that girl and they're punk rock.
Speaker 1: And oh were they two girls? I thought I can't see.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a boy.
Speaker 3: No, No, they're awesome.
Speaker 1: They're great.
Speaker 3: I wish I knew kids like that in Missoula, Montana.
Speaker 1: There aren't.
Speaker 3: I wish I had like a punk rock, cute lesbian
Speaker 3: friend when I was a kid. But nah, just a
Speaker 3: bunch of Nintendo playing chronic masturbainers there with hypertension.
Speaker 1: There's a good chance you had one you just didn't
Speaker 1: know because she like was the cheerleader or something like
Speaker 1: that Oh yeah, you're right, it wasn't a time. It
Speaker 1: was just a I mean, that's the weirdest thing. That's
Speaker 1: what I love so much about the modern life of
Speaker 1: all the conveniences. It's also kids these days don't realize
Speaker 1: that it was just like when I was in high school.
Speaker 1: You still like people call people faggot and you know,
Speaker 1: like it was like the all that there was so
Speaker 1: much gay Uh. I was gonna say gay racism.
Speaker 3: I trying to say, I don't even understand the concept
Speaker 3: of that anymore. It's like it's such an I don't
Speaker 3: think there's any kid that even in Montana where I'm
Speaker 3: from that it's pretty sheltered and I can see people
Speaker 3: being maybe a little behind as far as social issues
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: But it might such huge strides in recent years, like everyone's.
Speaker 3: Open and they're just well, I think this is how
Speaker 3: I feel. So I'm going to talk about it on
Speaker 3: my Facebook to all my friends and then so, okay, cool,
Speaker 3: I support you.
Speaker 1: But it's such a huge human development. I think it's amazing.
Speaker 3: I think it's good too, very cool.
Speaker 1: I had someone, you know, it's really funny. I had
Speaker 1: someone on Twitter call me a lesbo This guy. I
Speaker 1: think he was trying to be I'm not sure he's
Speaker 1: trying to troll me, but in this very strange way.
Speaker 3: Did he use a Z because that's comedy.
Speaker 1: Nope, I think he was like he was. I don't
Speaker 1: know where he came from. He follows me, but well,
Speaker 1: the thing that was funny to me was I was
Speaker 1: looking at it like, I don't know what you're trying
Speaker 1: to do, but I don't care if that, Like, if
Speaker 1: that you think that I'm gonna run away from that
Speaker 1: or be like wow, dare you or whatever. It's like,
Speaker 1: that's that's like calling me a blonde when I'm a brunette, Like, well,
Speaker 1: you can say whatever the fuck you want. I don't care.
Speaker 1: That has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 3: But hopefully someone that it doesn't there is someone that
Speaker 3: it would affect personally. Isn't reading it right now?
Speaker 1: Right exactly? Well, but I just don't think it's a thing.
Speaker 1: It doesn't shame people the way it used to. It
Speaker 1: used to be such a like this, this means you're
Speaker 1: less and it doesn't mean that anymore because of the
Speaker 1: things people have done, like Rue Paul or just people
Speaker 1: that have brought it not only to the four culturally,
Speaker 1: but it's like the cooler thing to do almost these days.
Speaker 1: It's such a forward thinking way to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yay, Lesbos.
Speaker 1: What the fuck are we doing? Well? This is like
Speaker 1: a very important podcast now, I know, I mean we
Speaker 1: are issues.
Speaker 3: I mean, there's it's been challenging for me because I
Speaker 3: you know how my vocabulary shuts down at forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: Yes, we are just past that, so I am it's over.
Speaker 3: I am yeah, my mouth there it is again. I
Speaker 3: just think if I open my mouth you would see
Speaker 3: a fleshy pretzel. That is what my tongue is now.
Speaker 3: I'm covered with salt and cheese.
Speaker 1: Was But we're growing up. That's the headline.
Speaker 3: And I promise in episode or two we're gonna launch
Speaker 3: that bonus. I was so excited to realize we had it.
Speaker 1: Was it on your phone?
Speaker 3: It's just on my phone. I'll doctor it up, spice
Speaker 3: up the treble.
Speaker 1: That's so funny.
Speaker 3: We're down the base, take out the hushes.
Speaker 1: It's like the Beatles in Germany. Mm hmmm, it's gonna be.
Speaker 3: It's gonna take down that wall.
Speaker 1: You think it's mister Gorbachev takedown.
Speaker 3: That Walter, No, I know you know what I confuse.
Speaker 3: I always confuse the Beatles with David Hasselhoff. I keep
Speaker 3: doing that. I keep doing that.
Speaker 1: You should do that.
Speaker 3: I went to the horse races here. Uh, and before
Speaker 3: we went, we said we're off to the horse races
Speaker 3: and we all laughed. Anyway, once we got there, I
Speaker 3: was betting on horses and uh, but like two or
Speaker 3: three dollars and David Hasselhoff was off in this balcony,
Speaker 3: swaying back and forth, and people were just taking video
Speaker 3: of him. And he had grass stands on his steersucker
Speaker 3: suit what and grass in his hair. He had wrestled
Speaker 3: somebody or what. He's probably awesome. And someone said, hey,
Speaker 3: night rider, and he probably tackled him. He was drunk
Speaker 3: and he was like and everyone's like, hassle off, hassle
Speaker 3: Off's and he's like turned. They said, how do you
Speaker 3: choose which herds horse to bet on? He said, I
Speaker 3: look at the balls and then afterwards, but it is
Speaker 3: they do something horrible and animal abusive to their ball.
Speaker 3: They clamped them down or whatever, like maybe I'm thinking rodeos,
Speaker 3: but I know that they like when a jockey whatever,
Speaker 3: when they're kicking, it has something to do with the
Speaker 3: horses balls.
Speaker 5: That's how a horse's balls are like their gas pedal basically,
Speaker 5: And so when they parade them around in the beginning, Yeah,
Speaker 5: you can go off of height or leg girth or
Speaker 5: vaininess or sheen or but I did look at the
Speaker 5: balls and I'm like, that horse has giant balls, and
Speaker 5: I kept winning.
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I won.
Speaker 1: You can see I've always done it on vaininess.
Speaker 3: Of the balls are just leg vans, because you can
Speaker 3: go by balvaninus too. That was the next thing I
Speaker 3: yelled before he fell face first one too. Some popcorn? Uh?
Speaker 1: What a great h day?
Speaker 3: What a great day for an episode without a guest.
Speaker 3: Did anyone even notice?
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like that we were both the guest.
Speaker 3: Well, I guess we should talk to our guests a
Speaker 3: little bit. How you doing back there, Todd Glass?
Speaker 1: Heay, Oh, he's sleepy, dog Glass. He had such a
Speaker 1: long trip, he did.
Speaker 3: He's real tired, real tired.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to go in and see if my
Speaker 1: dogs have committed suicide. Since I've been.
Speaker 3: Gone for one day, I'm going to rush off and
Speaker 3: send this one right to the presses.
Speaker 1: Can't wait. This is a good one. It was a
Speaker 1: good one for just a for it being just you
Speaker 1: and I. I think we were hilarious but deep. We
Speaker 1: talked about important things.
Speaker 3: I forced the Alzheimer's talk.
Speaker 1: Yes, I love the forced Alzheimer's talk. But then turned
Speaker 1: into a gay pride march.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh god, we that was beautiful, so vibrant, the
Speaker 3: colors of March.
Speaker 1: And now everybody knows how to win at the horse races.
Speaker 1: Exactly what a perfect ending? Mm hmm David Hasselhoff horse
Speaker 1: racing tips.
Speaker 3: I can maybe think of one better ending.
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 3: You've been listening to? Do you need a ride? D
Speaker 3: y n A R?
Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage.
Speaker 3: You claim and give us time and they turn and.
Speaker 1: On and Gabe, we want to send you off inside.
Speaker 3: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her?
Speaker 5: Was it fine?
Speaker 1: Malcorn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need ride? Do you need to ride? Do
Speaker 3: you need with Karen and Cress mm hm