Speaker 1: Ah, wow, there's some that's nice.
Speaker 2: Wed. That's how we started it, and I thought that
Speaker 2: was I thought that went well. I thought that was good.
Speaker 3: I think I think, you know what, I think we
Speaker 3: should leave this incredibly lucrative world of podcasting behind and
Speaker 3: start a traveling barbershop quartet and more or less recreate
Speaker 3: Oh Brother war out Thou with me as the Clooney.
Speaker 3: Of course, I think that's obvious.
Speaker 2: If I get to play a washboard bass, I'm all right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, why not? I don't remember much about that movie.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know if there's a watchboard base in
Speaker 2: it or not. No, I remember there's a.
Speaker 3: There's dapper damn Dan harecream, which I don't think would work.
Speaker 2: Makes him a greaser.
Speaker 3: I think he is technically a greaser. You're right, Margaret.
Speaker 3: I think I think cloon Tang in that movie is
Speaker 3: a greaser.
Speaker 2: It explains why he stabbed all those people just because
Speaker 2: they tried to.
Speaker 3: Get uh classic Clooney. That was on the set of
Speaker 3: Er though. So are we ready for part two of
Speaker 3: our exploration into its men's adventure magazines?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna stay nice and get nicer.
Speaker 3: That's a that's absolutely the case. So to start us
Speaker 3: off today, our next men's adventure magazine is the Noble
Speaker 3: Exotic Adventures, and boy howdy it has a special cover.
Speaker 3: If what, what's your guess for the Exotic Adventures cover
Speaker 3: island late like.
Speaker 2: Brown skinned women wearing not much clothing.
Speaker 3: No, it's racism, but but yeah, you kind of guessed that.
Speaker 2: So we'll give you. We'll give you half.
Speaker 3: Okay, Sophie, will you show her Exotic Adventures?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is a very racist drawing of a shake.
Speaker 2: I forgot that all of the women who are sexualized
Speaker 2: in danger have to be white in this yes.
Speaker 3: Well not entirely, but largely, yes, okay, largely. There is
Speaker 3: actually a naked photo spread of a Japanese woman in
Speaker 3: this article. Oh I'm not saying that makes it better,
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, I'm just saying they're not always.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so articles in Exotic Adventures.
Speaker 2: Should we describe this cover to Yeah, we should excress.
Speaker 3: So there's a very i would say, like second Indiana
Speaker 3: Jones movie level racist like caricature of like a shake
Speaker 3: looking dude with a beard who seems to be both
Speaker 3: holding a python of some sort and a one of
Speaker 3: those like curved bladed like like like slithery bladed knives
Speaker 3: that he's got as he's ripping the shirt off of
Speaker 3: an otherwise naked ish white woman whose hands are bound
Speaker 3: above her, while behind them, a slightly bloody adventure looking
Speaker 3: dude is about to throw a knife into his back.
Speaker 2: That guy's white. Yeah. Also, that curvy style of dagger
Speaker 2: is a Celtic thing. It might also be an Indian thing.
Speaker 2: There's actually a lot of cultural overlap, but like the
Speaker 2: flame bladed dagger was, Yeahltic thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I do believe there's a number of culture
Speaker 3: but anyway, yeah, yeah, you've got like a yeah, I
Speaker 3: said shake. But you're probably right. He's probably supposed to be.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't think he's supposed to be Irner And yeah,
Speaker 3: I think he's just supposed to be not a white guy.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, yeah, they're trying to signify that.
Speaker 2: And his eyes are like vacant and evil. It is
Speaker 2: not an.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely, very racist drawing.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: In terms of what we see on the cover, the
Speaker 3: South American strip tease Mill the Sexiest Girl in Japan,
Speaker 3: That's the one I was telling you about France's Nude
Speaker 3: Model Ball and the special The Sex Orgies of Sarawak.
Speaker 2: It only says sex three times on the cover.
Speaker 3: There is there's a lot in this one. They're really
Speaker 3: and this is the porniest of the ones that we're
Speaker 3: going to be covering in these episodes. This is just
Speaker 3: a straight up porn magazine. I did warn you both
Speaker 3: ahead of time. We're going you the listener. This will
Speaker 3: be no different from listening to anything else because you
Speaker 3: can't hear naked pictures, but there will be naked pictures
Speaker 3: in this I did provide a warning ahead of time.
Speaker 3: So the first ad on this is for the least
Speaker 3: shady product service so far, an amazing pocket radio that
Speaker 3: fits in the palm of your hand. The only thing
Speaker 3: amusing here is that the argument the advertisement brags it
Speaker 3: works indefinitely, which is an odd way to frame it.
Speaker 2: That plugs in.
Speaker 3: No. I think it's one of those hand crank radio
Speaker 3: type deals. Oh okay, Yeah. Then we get our table
Speaker 3: of contents, which does feature quite a bit of soft
Speaker 3: core pornography. I mean, that's just that's a lot of
Speaker 3: naked people for a table of contents.
Speaker 2: I'll give it to them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we get some we get a heads up
Speaker 3: as to some of the fantastic stories we're going to. Also,
Speaker 3: it's worth noting the editor of Exotic Adventures is George Wallace.
Speaker 3: I don't think the same one was the segregation governor,
Speaker 3: but may maybe perhaps. Articles in this magazine include The
Speaker 3: First and Only Love of Rami, Safari of Death, The
Speaker 3: Sexiest Girl in Japan. I was a Tangi or smuggler,
Speaker 3: Modern Madahari, The sex Orgies of Sarawak, Attacked by monster crabs. Margaret,
Speaker 3: we are going through that entire story. It's magnificent. That's
Speaker 3: what happens when you have a little black book. Yes,
Speaker 3: you go through too deep into that little black book
Speaker 3: and you be attacked by the monster crabs. What a
Speaker 3: glorious magazine. So our first story is the First and
Speaker 3: Only Love of Rami, and I found myself interested in
Speaker 3: it because I miss and I think I read wrong
Speaker 3: the premise. I thought it said that it was about
Speaker 3: a man who becomes a sex slave, which I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: that's an interesting reversal of the normal story.
Speaker 2: It's not.
Speaker 3: It's a normal story about a man who falls in
Speaker 3: love with them with a sex life anyway, OK. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So the story is framed as this is like an
Speaker 3: article written by a journalist who like had always wanted
Speaker 3: to visit Kashmir because of these you know, Golden Age
Speaker 3: of adventure stories he'd read about this mystical land, and
Speaker 3: so he successfully cons an editor into paying for him
Speaker 3: to fly over there and do some fact finding. So
Speaker 3: he has to he has to work a couple of days,
Speaker 3: and then he's you know, he gets his payment and
Speaker 3: he's able to sort of like hang out in Kashmir.
Speaker 2: For a while. Now, huh.
Speaker 3: The first fun fact about this is that like after
Speaker 3: he'd yeah, he after he finishes his job, he decides
Speaker 3: to stay on for a few days, and he notes
Speaker 3: that he'd been paid up for the article that he'd
Speaker 3: been like researching for and quote, I had money in pocket,
Speaker 3: a sometime thing with any writer. Now, this is like
Speaker 3: accurate to how life as a freelance writer is. But
Speaker 3: it's also very funny to me because, like he is
Speaker 3: making that note in a time when you could casually
Speaker 3: get an editor to fly you to Kashmir for like
Speaker 3: three days work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's also like having that be your character
Speaker 2: is like writing the movie about the screenwriter, because I'm
Speaker 2: assuming these are all fiction, even though they pretend on the.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I don't think this is a real story. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I do think this guy probably got paid more
Speaker 3: for this article than a lot of like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: war correspondents get paid for deep dives. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: fighting in Ukraine and shit. So anyway, our protagonist checks
Speaker 3: into the only hotel in the city that he's in.
Speaker 3: He orders a gin and tonic immediately, which is pretty
Speaker 3: on brand for our field. After the room service brings
Speaker 3: his drink up, we get this line. I noticed on
Speaker 3: the platter a small printed card plainly left for my perusal.
Speaker 3: It said, with frank honesty, buck Nelu, we have the girls.
Speaker 3: What it lacked in grammar, it made up in succinctness,
Speaker 3: always a virtue in advertising. I was at first amused
Speaker 3: and then curious. Was Kashmiri prostitution any different from that
Speaker 3: of the rest of the world. Why not find out,
Speaker 3: I thought, And so, having had a second and then
Speaker 3: a third gin and tonic and eaten my supper, I
Speaker 3: strolled down the main street and the direction of the
Speaker 3: business establishment of boch Nelu. So I do love that
Speaker 3: he's like I'm going to do a journalism on how
Speaker 3: prostitutions different in cash. This guy was ready for vice news.
Speaker 3: He was writing for him before they were ever born.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Vice burst from the head of this fucking writer, like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: So he gets to this brothel and the bach Nellu,
Speaker 3: the operator of the brothel, asks him what his pleasure
Speaker 3: will be. To be honest, I confessed, I am a journalist.
Speaker 3: My interest is mostly mere curiosity. His face fell a little,
Speaker 3: and so I added, however, I would not want to
Speaker 3: take up your time without reconvincing you for it. So
Speaker 3: our hero insists it's kind of unclear what he actually
Speaker 3: wants to do. He insists he doesn't want to buy anything,
Speaker 3: but he just wants to see the girl. So the
Speaker 3: writer brings some of his women out. Our hero comments
Speaker 3: on very critically on their breasts, and then he makes
Speaker 3: them give him a lap dance, which he eventually begs
Speaker 3: off because he doesn't actually have any intention of paying
Speaker 3: for sex. Back, Nelu frowned. You like something special, he said,
Speaker 3: I can arrange for a showing a boy, a girl,
Speaker 3: two girls, whatever you desire ten rupees, very inexpensive. No really,
Speaker 3: mister neahlu I said, I'm just not interested. His frown deepened,
Speaker 3: and then in a moment it vanished. Ah, he said,
Speaker 3: I have someone very special, something that is very rare
Speaker 3: among us. But perhaps you will be interested in this,
Speaker 3: although I warn you the price is four hundred rupees.
Speaker 2: Guy, is it a white girl? No?
Speaker 3: No, well, no, no it's not. It's not a white girl.
Speaker 3: Girl is appropriate? Though that was a lot of money
Speaker 3: by KASHMIRI standard, something like one hundred dollars. In Kashmir,
Speaker 3: a laborer lives comfortably on fifty dollars a year. My
Speaker 3: curiosity was piqued. What did he have worth one hundred dollars?
Speaker 3: All right, mister nehlu, let's see her. He clapped his
Speaker 3: hands again, and from behind the curtain a young girl
Speaker 3: hardly more than sixteen appeared. Now, I will admit when
Speaker 3: I started that, I assumed the whole offering children for
Speaker 3: sex thing came up earlier was to make it clear
Speaker 3: that this is like a bad guy. This was like
Speaker 3: the villain of our story. I guess he technically is.
Speaker 3: But our hero has no problem with being offered a
Speaker 3: teenage girl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: That is not the thing that is going to be
Speaker 3: an issue for our hero in this story. Yeah, mister
Speaker 3: Naylou tells us that her name is Rummy and that
Speaker 3: he's just purchased her from a village nearby. She is exquisite.
Speaker 3: She is also a virgin, and this is where our
Speaker 3: hero has an issue, because he does not believe that
Speaker 3: this girl is a virgin and thus would not be
Speaker 3: worth one hundred dollars that is being charged for her. Sure, yeah,
Speaker 3: he tells mister Nayleu, and again, this is our hero.
Speaker 3: He tells mister Naylou that this claim at this that
Speaker 3: the sex slave is a virgin is quote the oldest
Speaker 3: pitch in the book. Mister Naylu promises to return the
Speaker 3: money he's paid if it's not true. Then we get
Speaker 3: this revealing paragraph.
Speaker 2: Again. I backed off.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have much chance to get my money back.
Speaker 3: At the first sign of trouble, mister Naylu would scream
Speaker 3: for the local gendarmes and have me removed. I'd seen
Speaker 3: that game too often, mister Naylou, No thanks, and that's
Speaker 3: what we get before the magazine tells us to move
Speaker 3: on to page fifty one for the rest of the story.
Speaker 3: Because print magazines are just a horrible, horrible, user unfriendly product.
Speaker 3: In fact, when I turned to page fifty one, there's
Speaker 3: like a half page of text surrounded by the middle
Speaker 3: parts of two other stories, and then I'm told to
Speaker 3: move on to page sixty four. Anyway, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to keep this. I hate this shit. Yes, anyway, here's
Speaker 3: the next lines of the story. As the author tries
Speaker 3: to turn mister Naylu down the flesh, merchant shrugged. I
Speaker 3: cannot convince you, all right, then, would you care to
Speaker 3: look at REMI She is truly a wonder. The price
Speaker 3: for that is less fifty rupees. That sounded more reasonable.
Speaker 3: I could afford to risk ten dollars to see something
Speaker 3: as charming as mister Neylu made her sound. I gave
Speaker 3: him the money, and he gestured towards the girl. Now,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to relate to you how this author
Speaker 3: describes the naked body of a child. Safe to say
Speaker 3: that he uses the phrase the first flush of womanhood
Speaker 3: in a way that I think should be punishable by violence.
Speaker 3: Speaking of things that should be punished by a violent
Speaker 3: After being overcome with this child's beauty and seeing her
Speaker 3: stare at him with unabashed eyes. His first words to
Speaker 3: mister Naylu, are you are right? Your Rami is exquisite.
Speaker 3: But I cannot believe that she is a virtuin. So
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know what to say to that.
Speaker 3: It's pretty bad. Our protagonist leaves the establishment after tipping
Speaker 3: mister Naylu in other ten dollars. I don't know why.
Speaker 3: He has received very little, certainly not enough for a story.
Speaker 3: He's mostly just oggled and naked child.
Speaker 2: Well it's enough for this story. Oh, I guess it's enough. No, no,
Speaker 2: it's not, Margaret. No, we're building to that.
Speaker 3: So he decides to head back to his hotel for
Speaker 3: more gin. He sees someone following him, but he decides
Speaker 3: he doesn't care all that much, so he gets back
Speaker 3: to the hotel. The person tailing him, you know, he
Speaker 3: figures it's just a harmless weirdo. He gets drunk with
Speaker 3: a guy he describes as a bush man before going
Speaker 3: up to bed where he finds I know it's pretty bad.
Speaker 3: Where he finds waiting in his room Rami. She snuck
Speaker 3: out of the brothel and she has come a calling
Speaker 3: to him. So at first he's like madly in love
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 2: It's not quite that.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say it's better than that, Margaret, I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna say it's better than that. She is like
Speaker 3: first At first, off, he's like outraged because he thinks
Speaker 3: that like she's been snuck there by bochnello, and he's
Speaker 3: going to try to like, you know, charge him for
Speaker 3: it and like fake that, you know, anyway whatever. He's
Speaker 3: going to like try that this is some sort of scam,
Speaker 3: right yeah. But then she disrupts his thoughts by saying,
Speaker 3: do you want me now? He is still initially outraged
Speaker 3: at this because he doesn't believe she's a virgin and
Speaker 3: thus doesn't think she's worth the price set on her head.
Speaker 3: She insists that she is a virgin. In a profoundly
Speaker 3: uncomfortable sequence, she nodded vehemently. Oh yes, sir, I am
Speaker 3: a virgin. I have never slept with men. I looked
Speaker 3: at her, frowning. This is so, oh yes, it is so.
Speaker 3: I come from a poor family. There are not so
Speaker 3: many men in my village. I was engaged to a boy,
Speaker 3: but he got killed in a rock slide. Then later
Speaker 3: my family was poor. They could not keep all the children,
Speaker 3: and besides they knew that I would always be poor
Speaker 3: if I stayed in the village, so they sold me
Speaker 3: to mister Neylou. He could pay well since I was
Speaker 3: a virgin, and then I could work for him and
Speaker 3: save my money and perhaps make things better for my family.
Speaker 3: So I guess the upside of this scene is that, like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, is this like a slave or just
Speaker 3: sex child prostitution. I don't know if that's a distinction
Speaker 3: that's worth laboring over either way, pretty gross anyway, Here
Speaker 3: is where we get the big reveal of the whole piece.
Speaker 3: Rami feels her family was cheated by mister Naylou, who
Speaker 3: paid much less for her despite compared to the value
Speaker 3: that he views her as having for this white guy.
Speaker 3: So she wants to have sex with our hero for
Speaker 3: free to get back at her pimp. Now, obviously he says, yes,
Speaker 3: there's no real detail given here, Thankfully. The most interesting
Speaker 3: part is that he throws in a line about feeling
Speaker 3: bad that she has condemned herself to a life of
Speaker 3: white slavery, which what I mean, she's not, I don't anyway.
Speaker 2: What else does that just mean? Is that, like the
Speaker 2: way that Western people refer to sex slavery. At this point,
Speaker 2: it's like, all that's.
Speaker 3: The feeling I get, because he does describe her as
Speaker 3: like a Kashmiri girl. Yeah, okay, So the story ends happily,
Speaker 3: and after having sex, he asks for her family's address
Speaker 3: so he can pay them the money that mister Neyleu
Speaker 3: didn't pay them. I don't think there's a particularly good
Speaker 3: moral lesson there. I think that's pretty gross, But that's
Speaker 3: the story that's I think it does like that's a fantasy,
Speaker 3: like the fact that like that is a fantasy that
Speaker 3: they thought would be that the men buying this magazine
Speaker 3: and like normal American comic shops would identify with as fascinating. Again,
Speaker 3: that's not a real story that happened. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 3: a story that a bunch of gross dudes in the
Speaker 3: sixties wish it happened.
Speaker 2: If it been written in the eighties, she would have
Speaker 2: gone home with him and they would have gotten married.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they would have gotten married, and it would have
Speaker 3: been uncomfortable still, but we wouldn't realize until like the
Speaker 3: mid nineties.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, if I'm remembering, I'm thinking back.
Speaker 3: To some of the things that George Lucas said about
Speaker 3: Mary and Ravenwood in the first Indiana Jones movie, which,
Speaker 3: like Lucas, clearly grew up reading these stories. Right, So
Speaker 3: it's one of those like, oh, well, that does make
Speaker 3: that make a little bit more sense. This was probably
Speaker 3: poisoning his brain from a very early age. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: that's interesting, I don't know, a little journey into the
Speaker 3: mind of a sixties guy. So, returning to our smut magazine,
Speaker 3: the next story after the start of that child molestation
Speaker 3: adventure is a story about some rich guy's wife murdering
Speaker 3: him via safari. I like that one a lot better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is she the bad guy?
Speaker 3: Or yeah, yeah, she's the bad guy of course.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: Then we get the Sexiest Girl in Japan, which has
Speaker 3: the header text strange as it may seem, the Sexiest
Speaker 3: Girl in Japan doesn't live there anymore. When an American
Speaker 3: producer saw the exotic Dolly, he whisked her off to
Speaker 3: the States as a promising showgal. I don't know, she's
Speaker 3: not in Japan, but whatever you do, you don't need
Speaker 3: to be I guess expect much accuracy here. So there's
Speaker 3: porn that follows, and then immediately after that we get
Speaker 3: back to our adventure stories. There's a crude drawing of
Speaker 3: a naval vessel in the text. I was a Tangiers smuggler,
Speaker 3: which I thought was going to be much more up
Speaker 3: my alley. Here this is another piece of middle aged
Speaker 3: guy wish fulfillment. And it's really clear. It makes very
Speaker 3: clear what we talked open the series talking about that
Speaker 3: like these are largely for dudes who like served.
Speaker 2: But didn't see any action.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because our hero in this is a guy who
Speaker 3: he goes over and he fights in Europe through World
Speaker 3: War Two, and then after ve Day he decides to
Speaker 3: like stay in England doing odd jobs, some on this
Speaker 3: side of the law and some on the other. He's
Speaker 3: like this, you know, veteran Nazi fighter who becomes cut
Speaker 3: but like a sexy criminal.
Speaker 2: Right yeah. Yeah, he's got a switchblade comb he pulls
Speaker 2: out every now and then absolutely fixes his hair. He
Speaker 2: acquires a boat, probably in something cool like a game
Speaker 2: of dice. He's a Han solo character, right yeah.
Speaker 3: And thinking about like these is partial inspirations for some
Speaker 3: of Lucas's later work, Like he's he's that's the kind
Speaker 3: of guy he is.
Speaker 2: He did the Castle run and yeah, not so many
Speaker 2: nautical miles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, however many or whatever the wrong term for nautical
Speaker 3: miles is because yeah, so he gets this boat and
Speaker 3: he decides like, well, why not make spare cash smuggling
Speaker 3: stuff out of Tangiers, which is a pretty cool lifestyle choice. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I would argue in the nineteen fifth.
Speaker 2: Jimmy Buffett thinks he was doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, James Buffett. Sorry, yeah, so alright, So yeah,
Speaker 3: now I will say I wish this was a better story.
Speaker 3: I love the premise. This is one of those ones.
Speaker 3: It's so badly written that I cut. There's paragraphs in
Speaker 3: it that feel like chat GPT, and I think it
Speaker 3: may just be because, like this guy was trying to
Speaker 3: pump up word count, right, he's getting paid by the
Speaker 3: word and so he's really overwriting this motherfucker. But let
Speaker 3: me let me read this to you and you'll see,
Speaker 3: I mean all right. Tangier is a free port. Ships
Speaker 3: of any nation can unload any kind of cargo at
Speaker 3: all there without paying duty or undergoing inspection. A highly
Speaker 3: organized trade smuggling trade operates out of Tangier, therefore farying
Speaker 3: goods from the freeport to the nations along the Mediterranean coast.
Speaker 3: The smuggling ring specialized in such desired items as Jim's coffee, watches, drugs, currency,
Speaker 3: antibiotic drugs, and gold, as well as American cigarettes, which
Speaker 3: are heavily dutied in Europe, in which so many Europeans
Speaker 3: became addicted to thanks to the presence of GIS during
Speaker 3: the forties.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, I have a theory. These guy have a
Speaker 2: middle name in his author name. It's a great question.
Speaker 3: What do we got here? Shit one sec I can
Speaker 3: scroll back up to the table of contents.
Speaker 2: Okay, because there's like the side the Gorman No oh,
Speaker 2: all right, all right, there's like the like long standing
Speaker 2: joke that the reason that all like science fiction authors
Speaker 2: or whatever you use their middle name also on the
Speaker 2: cover is that they get of like short stories. You
Speaker 2: get paid per word, and it's like a free ten
Speaker 2: cents ten cents.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, but he's definitely overwriting. I also, I
Speaker 3: feel confident that no reader in nineteen fifth this is sorry,
Speaker 3: this is published in nineteen fifty seven. I don't believe
Speaker 3: there's a single reader in nineteen fifty seven that needed
Speaker 3: it explained to them why Europeans wanted American cigarettes. Like
Speaker 3: that's simply an unnecessary sentence. Yeah, but I am equally
Speaker 3: confident the hero who wrote the story was again being
Speaker 3: paid by the words. So godspeed brother, right, you know
Speaker 3: every Yeah, everyone in this story is an adult.
Speaker 2: So this guy's fine with me. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: Anyway, the story is what you'd expect. He gets hired
Speaker 3: to run cargo and he'll get paid generously, but he's
Speaker 3: also got to transport this beautiful rich crime bosses like
Speaker 3: girlfriend who falls in love. You know, you get the
Speaker 3: you're aware of the thrust of this story. It is
Speaker 3: kind of Star Wars the more I think about it, Actually,
Speaker 3: there's elements of that there. You really do like definitely,
Speaker 3: I don't know of this story, but Lucas was reading
Speaker 3: magazines like this as a kid obsessively. I don't think
Speaker 3: there's any doubt about that. Now you have a solid
Speaker 3: understanding at this point what to expect from this magazine.
Speaker 3: So I'm going to follow this up with a full
Speaker 3: reading of the only story in here that has real
Speaker 3: literary merit. Attacked by monster crabs. Now, Margaret, look at this,
Speaker 3: Look at this crab art. You know that's that's a
Speaker 3: good naked lady attacked by monster crabs, drawing like like
Speaker 3: anatomically the crabs look exceptional. Those are good. Clause like,
Speaker 3: look at the details. Oh that's art, that's all. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's art. Yeah, it's beautiful. This is really something special
Speaker 3: by Dave Callahan. So the pull text of the story.
Speaker 3: Can you think of a more horrible way to die
Speaker 3: than to be torn to streads by a horne of
Speaker 3: monster crabs? I can't, because it almost happened to me.
Speaker 3: I can't. Actually, Dave Callahan, that does seem like a
Speaker 3: pretty bad way to die.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I am now fully on board.
Speaker 3: And this this is I dare I say a work
Speaker 3: to those of Melville or le Gwynn, or dare I
Speaker 3: say it William Shatner, author of Tech War, just a
Speaker 3: true classic of the genre. Here it opens with starts
Speaker 3: with an iconic horror story opening line, this is the
Speaker 3: place Pamela said, We'll be all alone here. Nobody ever
Speaker 3: comes here but me. Perfect completely set the moon in
Speaker 3: the first two sentences, Ah Callahan, you.
Speaker 2: Bastard, you did it.
Speaker 3: Now those of you, we are a versed in literary theory,
Speaker 3: will know that a statement like that by a character
Speaker 3: means that they're going to die from a deadly crab attack.
Speaker 3: Now our heroes have just taken a motor boat to
Speaker 3: an inlet in British Honduras, north of Belize. Pamela and
Speaker 3: the author Dave Callahan are both looking forward to relaxing.
Speaker 3: Dave is especially excited for a long afternoon of love
Speaker 3: with this busty daughter of a British diplomat, but he writes,
Speaker 3: I wasn't prepared for the nightmare evins that would take
Speaker 3: place that afternoon. One thing I will say for Dave
Speaker 3: is that his female lead here is very definitely an adult,
Speaker 3: and is also insinuated to be sexually active and in
Speaker 3: control of her very interesting love life. So because he's
Speaker 3: not fetishizing a child, I'm going to read his lustful
Speaker 3: description here because it's kind of funny. It's pretty funny.
Speaker 3: Hand in hand, we climbed up the beach flank. It
Speaker 3: was a warm, muggy day. Pamela was wearing a man's
Speaker 3: white shirt whose buttons rarely managed to hold back the
Speaker 3: magnificent thrust of her bosom, and a pair of khaki
Speaker 3: trousers that clung tightly to her hips and thighs. Overhead,
Speaker 3: the hot sun was burning its way through the thick clouds.
Speaker 3: I spread a blanket for the two of us. There
Speaker 3: were two bottles of local rum in the boat for refreshments,
Speaker 3: and we had forgotten them. I'll go back to the
Speaker 3: boat and get them, I said. When I reached for
Speaker 3: the boat, I scooped up the bottles and looked up beach.
Speaker 3: Pamela was peeling off her blouse. She had nothing on underneath.
Speaker 3: I oggled her gently, swaying breasts appreciatively. As I approached.
Speaker 3: She had buttoned the trousers, kicked them off, and stood
Speaker 3: lovely and nude before me. Now she says she wants
Speaker 3: to go for a swim. She's like, come on, take
Speaker 3: your clothes off, let's get in the water together, in
Speaker 3: one of those crisp British accents that sounded so out
Speaker 3: of place in this primitive Central American country.
Speaker 2: So fifty babies. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then, because it is nineteen fifty seven, he responds,
Speaker 3: you go ahead and get your feet wet while I'm
Speaker 3: opening the bottle.
Speaker 2: I want to nip of rum before I get in
Speaker 2: the water.
Speaker 3: You do also get a lot of context by the
Speaker 3: fact that they are spending an afternoon on a beach
Speaker 3: and they bring two full handles of rum.
Speaker 2: That is quite a quantity to swim on and then
Speaker 2: drive a boat back on.
Speaker 3: I mean, every character in any one of these stories
Speaker 3: is a hardcore alcoholic. I feel like that's less worth
Speaker 3: mentioning in fiction from the fifties. But yeah, so our
Speaker 3: character uses his trusty pocket knife, which you will not
Speaker 3: hear from again, to open a bottle of rum and
Speaker 3: drink what would kill a small pony. Then he starts
Speaker 3: to take off his pants and head in after Pamela.
Speaker 3: When we get a glorious line, David, David, help the
Speaker 3: crabs the crab. I shaded my eyes and looked down
Speaker 3: beach for her. She was almost completely hidden around the cove.
Speaker 3: All he could see of her was her body from
Speaker 3: the breasts upward. She was leaping around wildly in the
Speaker 3: shallow water, some thirty feet off shore, grabbing the unopened
Speaker 3: bottle of rum to use as a weapon. I sprinted
Speaker 3: towards the water. What's happening, I yelled, what's the trouble
Speaker 3: the crab?
Speaker 2: She shrieked. The monster crabs.
Speaker 3: Perfect, perfect pros a masterpiece. No, no, I want to
Speaker 3: teach an English class just about this story, Like some
Speaker 3: professors do with Moby Dick, where we just every day
Speaker 3: we go through the monster crab story again.
Speaker 2: See, I actually feel like there's like something to be
Speaker 2: said about you learn all of these rules about how
Speaker 2: to write well, and then you look at what sells
Speaker 2: best and it does not follow those rules, and like
Speaker 2: what is read the most does not follow these rules,
Speaker 2: and there's like something to be said for that. That
Speaker 2: is like a tension that all writers must cope with.
Speaker 3: It is it is, and that's why more writers need
Speaker 3: to write about monster crabs. I think that's a very
Speaker 3: very clear lesson that I have a solarless story. Half
Speaker 3: stumbling over myself in my hurry, I reached the edge
Speaker 3: of the shore. There was Pamela off shore and water
Speaker 3: no higher than her lovely knees, and monster crabs a
Speaker 3: foot across were leaping out of the water, gnashing their
Speaker 3: ugly pincers at her nude form. The water seemed to
Speaker 3: boil with their hideous forms. There must have been hundreds
Speaker 3: of the crabs swarming up from their slumbers in the mud.
Speaker 2: And you know this is like based on a true story
Speaker 2: where he like like I've had this like where you
Speaker 2: have like a nice date and then something slightly weird
Speaker 2: happens and then you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, wouldn't it
Speaker 2: be wild.
Speaker 3: Thing like this ants or some shit? And it's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: what if the ants had been foot long monster crabs?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: But you know, I love this story, Margaret. I you know,
Speaker 3: all these weirdo right wing culture warriors talking about like
Speaker 3: how our society has gotten away from its first principles,
Speaker 3: and I understand that now because I want to live
Speaker 3: inside this moment, this glorious frozen instant where a man's
Speaker 3: a man, woman's a woman, and a boiling hive of
Speaker 3: crabs is a boiling hive of crabs, right, you.
Speaker 2: Know, perfect, perfect story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's also very funny that he instantly goes to
Speaker 3: the rum bottle for a weapon.
Speaker 2: Even though he's a pocket knife.
Speaker 3: He's got a knife on him, but he whips out
Speaker 3: that rum bottle. Very fifties guy, smart, like woke modern
Speaker 3: youths could never they'd have only a can of white
Speaker 3: claw to defend them from the.
Speaker 2: Crabs, or they would have been swimming sober. Yeah, they
Speaker 2: would have been swimming sober and thus doomed. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: is interesting because he's drunk, but she is swimming sober
Speaker 2: and spoilers. She is doomed.
Speaker 3: So you're right, Margaret, I think that's exactly how this
Speaker 3: story would end if these were gen Z kids, gin
Speaker 3: Z kids who could never fight off a crab in
Speaker 3: the waters, off belize. But you know who could fight
Speaker 3: all a boiling hive of crabs?
Speaker 2: Is it the people who pay us to put their
Speaker 2: advertisements into our shows? Arguably, Margaret, Arguably.
Speaker 4: And they just take a handful of rigging coins and
Speaker 4: just throw them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, huk them at the crabs, Ninja star like like
Speaker 3: ninja stars and ye yeah take this you crabs stead
Speaker 3: of a bitch, Yeah don So back to the crabs.
Speaker 3: She was screaming another light, mindless panic. I could see
Speaker 3: a bloody gash along one arm, another just below a
Speaker 3: jouncing breast. She was doing a wild dance, a death dance,
Speaker 3: and the water around her was stained with red. Oh god,
Speaker 3: I had Yeah, yeah, they're gonna murder, right, the crabs
Speaker 3: are going to kill this lady now, Margaret. When he
Speaker 3: described her jouncing, I did not know that was a word.
Speaker 3: I thought, like, did he just make up a word
Speaker 3: to describe like?
Speaker 2: Is it like jiggly bouncy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it means to jolt or bounce, So you win
Speaker 3: this round. Fifties author, I learned a word from this story.
Speaker 3: It was not in my vocabulary prior to it. All right, daddy, okay,
Speaker 3: daddy own guard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I heard the sound the crabs made, the dull
Speaker 3: ominous clack clack sound of heavy pincers cracking together. Pamela
Speaker 3: was trying to beat the monsters off with her hands,
Speaker 3: but they were slashing her mercilessly on hip and thigh
Speaker 3: and arm and belly and buttock and every other part
Speaker 3: of her body they could reach. Raising my bottle high
Speaker 3: as a club, I waded out into the water, conscious
Speaker 3: that my unprotected nakedness was terribly vulnerable to the attack
Speaker 3: of the crabs. I didn't care. I had to see. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So this is the point at which the author of
Speaker 3: this story makes his first structural mistake, which is that
Speaker 3: he breaks this fascinating narrative to take us back in
Speaker 3: time to explain how he and Pamela met, which is
Speaker 3: not a question on anyone's mind reading this.
Speaker 2: Crab fight story. I could not care less about these
Speaker 2: people's backstory. I just want a naked man fighting crabs
Speaker 2: with a rum bottle. That's all I need. His battle cry. Now.
Speaker 3: He explains that he was in the country on legal business,
Speaker 3: and her family had fled there from Belgium before the war.
Speaker 3: They had a standard kind of rom com honestly proto
Speaker 3: rom com. Like they literally bump into each other while
Speaker 3: turning a corner, which I was like, oh, okay, interesting,
Speaker 3: it's a normal Like again, it's a middle aged guy fantasy.
Speaker 3: She's immediately into him for reasons that are never discussed.
Speaker 3: She takes him back to her dad's mansion and they
Speaker 3: get housed on rum. Then she you know, she strips
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I will say it's not off putting after the last one,
Speaker 3: because like she's very clearly an adult who's in control
Speaker 3: as opposed to you know, a child's slaves. So I'll
Speaker 3: give this off their credit anyway. I mean, he invites him.
Speaker 2: He's going to murder her pornographically for the purpose.
Speaker 3: Of well, the crabs are going to murder yes, yeah, anyway, yeah,
Speaker 3: So she invites him out to the beach, and finally,
Speaker 3: after a torturous diversion, we're back to the crabs. Oh good,
Speaker 3: Pamela's beautiful face was a hideous mask of sheer terror
Speaker 3: in pain. As I waded towards her, slipping and sliding
Speaker 3: on the slimy mud, evil claws flicked up from the
Speaker 3: water around her, drawing blood at every touch, and she
Speaker 3: was cut off from the shore by a solid mass
Speaker 3: of the crabs. The drifting tides and sent slicks of
Speaker 3: blood up and down the shore as more crabs were
Speaker 3: on their way to join the attack. I was thirty
Speaker 3: feet from her twenty fifteen. My breath was coming in
Speaker 3: ragged bursts. As I tried to run through the shallow water.
Speaker 3: I slipped and fell headlong. The rum bottle dropped, and
Speaker 3: because it was the closest thing to a weapon I had,
Speaker 3: I knelt and groped in the choppy surf until I
Speaker 3: found it again.
Speaker 2: I'm coming, Pam, I yelled, hurry, kill them. They're tearing
Speaker 2: me apart. Now. I like that.
Speaker 4: In the middle there, you kind of turned into doing
Speaker 4: your bench of Europe boy, I.
Speaker 3: Did a little bit by Sorry, it's impossible not to,
Speaker 3: I will admit when this when I started this story,
Speaker 3: because so many of the stories I read for this
Speaker 3: that you didn't hear are like great titles and then
Speaker 3: very disappointing. I expected the crabs to mostly be a
Speaker 3: visual threat. Maybe they'd nick Pamela a little bit, but no,
Speaker 3: this is a brutal murder. Like it is a horrible
Speaker 3: crab death. Pamela was surrounded by crabs. Now they had
Speaker 3: almost bitten completely to the bone of her left arm.
Speaker 2: Blood spurted in terrible gouts from the wound. This is
Speaker 2: HP Lovecraft writing under another name.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a horny HP Lovecraft writing his
Speaker 3: weird crab fetish.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: This is absolutely the author's baffling kink that they died,
Speaker 3: never openly telling another soul about.
Speaker 2: But absolutely they tried to tell their wife, and their
Speaker 2: wife left them. No, no, their wife is gone. Yeah,
Speaker 2: within minutes, took the car.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: He was like, could you walk? Could you walk sideways
Speaker 2: to the car. She's like no, No.
Speaker 3: Spent the rest of his life going out to the
Speaker 3: aquarium every weekend wearing loose fitting pants. I tried to
Speaker 3: help her, smashing my bottle against them to stun them,
Speaker 3: tossing them as far as I could, but it was helpless.
Speaker 3: A naked man and a naked woman armed with only
Speaker 3: a glass bottle between them could not defend themselves against
Speaker 3: a seething ocean of monster crabs. I felt them nipping
Speaker 3: at my cabs, my thighs, my loins. A crab was
Speaker 3: crawling up Pamela's body, she screamed as its pinchers. Yaha, YadA, YadA, yeah, YadA.
Speaker 3: A lot of breast biting from the crabs here that
Speaker 3: we don't necessarily need to get into. So he eventually
Speaker 3: pulls her out of there, right or yeah, After like
Speaker 3: a difficult fight with the crabs, he gets his hand
Speaker 3: bitten to the bone, so he nearly loses a hand
Speaker 3: for his troubles, but he manages to drag Pamela out,
Speaker 3: and we get a pretty unsettling description of her mutilated
Speaker 3: body that I will not repeat here because I do
Speaker 3: think the writer was working for through a fetish in
Speaker 3: this article.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, she dies from the crabs. Yeah, does she
Speaker 2: get any like last words?
Speaker 3: No, she's dead by the time he gets her back
Speaker 3: to shore. I don't know if the crabs actually killed her,
Speaker 3: if she bled out, if she like drowns in the surf.
Speaker 3: It's not really it doesn't really matter. Pamela's dad after
Speaker 3: he gets back, there's like a scene with like our
Speaker 3: hero and this young woman's father, where it's just made
Speaker 3: clear that her dad doesn't care about what happened to her,
Speaker 3: and then our hero returns home forever scarred. When I
Speaker 3: recovered from my experience, I finished up my business in
Speaker 3: Belize and flew back to the States. That was three
Speaker 3: years ago. I haven't been able to go near saltwater since.
Speaker 3: And I lay awake at night thinking of the long
Speaker 3: limbed redhead with a calendar girl body he gave herself
Speaker 3: to me one night in British Honduras and who met
Speaker 3: a death of unimaginable grisliness the next day.
Speaker 2: I mean, what a strange tale. Okay, bye, Hi if
Speaker 2: this was true and it's not, but yeah, that I
Speaker 2: would spend the rest of my life. Yeah, I mean, yes,
Speaker 2: of course you would. That would be you would never
Speaker 2: leave that moment. Yeah, or my house. No, that is
Speaker 2: the kind of PTSD that you would never recover from.
Speaker 2: No crab murder. Fortunately, you could write one article about
Speaker 2: it and buy a mansion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you do get a single article in a men's
Speaker 3: adventure magazine.
Speaker 4: I'm just so glad I know this very real story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think this is this has changed my
Speaker 3: life for the better. For one thing, I'm going to
Speaker 3: bring a weapon to the beach better than a bottle
Speaker 3: anytime I go, because you'll never know when.
Speaker 2: Crab You're right, You're right, You're right. He had a knife.
Speaker 3: I was a pocket and I honestly, if I was there,
Speaker 3: like a stick or a rock is probably going to
Speaker 3: be a better bet against a bunch of fucking crabs.
Speaker 2: You're not going to just like pull out a handgun,
Speaker 2: so a shooting the ocean.
Speaker 3: Well, I would, in fact pull out a handgun and
Speaker 3: start firing at the ocean.
Speaker 4: Think I know about Rob He's doing exactly that.
Speaker 3: Let's be fair here, if there's not crabs, I'm still
Speaker 3: shooting that ocean. That's the only one that keeps the ocean.
Speaker 3: That's why saw that gun control on the East Coast
Speaker 3: is why they get hurricanes, that Florida gun control. Yeah right, yeah,
Speaker 3: And you know that's that's why we need anyway, shoot
Speaker 3: at a hurricane, folks, It's the only thing that can
Speaker 3: save you from climate change. Let's move on to our
Speaker 3: next magazine.
Speaker 2: Uh huh, so it's called Climate Change Denial magazine from
Speaker 2: nineteen forty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a picture of a handgun and the
Speaker 3: weather system.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like one be prepared for everything, but real things. Yes,
Speaker 2: the name of the magazine, for example, an attack of
Speaker 2: killer crabs. Oh god, wait, hold on, but the name
Speaker 2: and the picture of what you've just shown me agree magazine.
Speaker 3: Oh it's glorious. This is from December of sixty nine,
Speaker 3: I do want to say, And yeah, you want to
Speaker 3: describe this one for our listeners, Margaret.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sure. There's three white women in lingerie pointing a knife,
Speaker 2: but also sexually or like caressing a man's shoulders who's
Speaker 2: on a bed, and there's like nothing in the background.
Speaker 2: It's sort of an empty room and it's called Man's Combat.
Speaker 2: And the reason that I'm upset is that these are
Speaker 2: clearly women in combat and this is a rasure unless
Speaker 2: actually they could be transmasculine and not expressing that visually
Speaker 2: in a clear way, and that is totally up to them. Also,
Speaker 2: it has headlines exposed swinging sex in women's prison. The
Speaker 2: Nazis turned them into prostitutes and paid plenty for it.
Speaker 2: Exclamation mark, Oh god, I just got to the fucking
Speaker 2: the art. The title that goes with the cover art yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: the hippies raped him and then they told him how
Speaker 2: much it was going to cost exclamation mark.
Speaker 3: I want to be clear here, we will be going
Speaker 3: into the story. The hippies do not rape him at
Speaker 3: any point, like this is purely this is an old
Speaker 3: man having consensual sex with a bunch of hippies. Like don't, don't,
Speaker 3: don't get that wrong, Like the title is not accurate.
Speaker 2: What the kids are studying in college this year sex
Speaker 2: exclamation mark, which is just a current right wing talking point.
Speaker 3: And then, of course I was the love slave of
Speaker 3: the geisha. Yeah, the Japanese geisha girls almost killed him
Speaker 3: with affection.
Speaker 2: Perfect.
Speaker 4: Thanks, what a great magazine.
Speaker 2: You don't love Man's Combat.
Speaker 4: Oh, Robert, I don't love Man's comm I almost.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 3: Also want to note one of the girls who's the
Speaker 3: one who's holding the knife on him, has big coke
Speaker 3: bottle glasses, so you know that she's like a kind
Speaker 3: of a mod girl, you know, right it's nineteen sixty nine, baby, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: well nerd, great cover, great cover. We'll turn this magazine now.
Speaker 3: I almost closed with a different issue of a different series,
Speaker 3: but it was titled four Men Only, and I thought
Speaker 3: I might violating some sort of I didn't want to
Speaker 3: get a curse right.
Speaker 2: From like me and Sophie wouldn't be able to hear it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it would just be blank space. Hugh Hefner's mummy might
Speaker 2: come for me in the night. So this transfer of
Speaker 2: the Men's Combat magazine, it cuts out half of the
Speaker 2: first page of advertisements. I think because somebody cut out
Speaker 2: one of the ads for some purpose. But it looks
Speaker 2: like it was an ad for a muscle supplement scheme,
Speaker 2: which does fit entirely with the kind of publications that
Speaker 2: these are. Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: How to gain up to fifty pounds of mighty muscles.
Speaker 3: How to develop sixteen to eighteen and a half inch
Speaker 3: big arms powerful enough to land a knockout blow.
Speaker 2: Fast, Oh my god, nothing changes.
Speaker 3: How to build a forty five to fifty two inch
Speaker 3: heroic chest housing tireless lungs for endurance and works sports
Speaker 3: or for attracting girls all gaps. How to mold a
Speaker 3: broad muscle packed back, and wonder why Superman's shoulders tapering
Speaker 3: to a slim punch proof weist.
Speaker 2: I ever heard of a weights described that way? Punchproof?
Speaker 3: Oh, first off, folks, a slim waist is never punchproof.
Speaker 3: If you want a punchproof guy, go go look at
Speaker 3: a powerlifter. Look at one of those guys who can
Speaker 3: deadlift seven hundred and fifty pounds. Like, look at that
Speaker 3: guy's belly. That's a punchproof West. You can hit that guy's.
Speaker 2: Belly all day long and you're not gonna make any progress. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Whatever, fascinating, fascinating period of time.
Speaker 2: So that never ended.
Speaker 3: Now I am absolutely certain that this product, whatever supplement
Speaker 3: this guy is selling to help people put on muscle,
Speaker 3: has killed people. But it's probably beaten in deadliness by
Speaker 3: the next ad, which is a home study course to
Speaker 3: become an electrician. And the reason why I say it's
Speaker 3: deadly is there's a little cartoon at the top with
Speaker 3: two men talking to each other, and one man's said,
Speaker 3: do you mean I can learn to be a skilled
Speaker 3: electrician by studying at home in spare time? Yes, the
Speaker 3: other says, and earn while you learn thanks to advanced
Speaker 3: shop method draining.
Speaker 2: Now, hell yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't think people should be doing professional electrical work
Speaker 3: until they've been licensed and bonded. What But that's my
Speaker 3: attitude on being an electrician.
Speaker 2: Why do you hate dy to stand in a puddle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, stand in a puddle barefoot and just start
Speaker 3: poking wires.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that actually helps disperse the electricity in a larger area.
Speaker 3: You may not know that, but uh yeah, you want
Speaker 3: to be barefoot and ideally standing in water if you're
Speaker 3: doing any kind of work with electricity.
Speaker 2: You don't pay for the extra for those cuck boots.
Speaker 3: No, no, those just keep the electricity in and endanger you.
Speaker 3: You can find more tips like this and Robert and
Speaker 3: Margaret's Guide to Surviving Dangerous Situations for people we hate
Speaker 3: you know, here's another free tip. Got a grease fire,
Speaker 3: water that son of a bitch. No, as much water
Speaker 3: as you can dump on that grease fire. Really, it's
Speaker 3: the opposite of fire, obviously, right, if that's how you
Speaker 3: want to deal with a grease fire. But only if
Speaker 3: we hate you.
Speaker 2: Only if we hate you.
Speaker 3: If we do not hate you, do not take this
Speaker 3: advice or by this book. Yeah, so we should go
Speaker 3: to ads at this point, including ads for in Margaret's
Speaker 3: exciting new book How to Survive Dangerous Circumstances. If you're
Speaker 3: a person that we don't like very much, that's right,
Speaker 3: which we'll be giving out for free at seapack next year,
Speaker 3: We're back.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 3: So Man's Combat next provides us with its table of
Speaker 3: contents page, which which gives us some summaries for each
Speaker 3: of the stories. There's sex orgies on campus. They don't
Speaker 3: give some kids degrees in what they're studying. Every night,
Speaker 3: women's prisons. The chicks behind the bars quickly learn how
Speaker 3: to make out without men. Yeah, great, incredible. The Nazis
Speaker 3: died smiling. The Huns turned them, turned them into high
Speaker 3: priced prostitutes, but the girls made them pay too much
Speaker 3: in the end.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is this is two separate things. I thought
Speaker 2: the Nazis died smiling because the Huns turned them into.
Speaker 3: No, No, it's the Germans make these. Well we'll get
Speaker 3: into this. Yeah, but anyway, I was the love slave
Speaker 3: of the geisha. This is by Lieutenant G. E. Lavelle,
Speaker 3: US Navy. They whipped him, tortured him, and almost loved
Speaker 3: him to death. Murph the Surf, the golden boy of crime.
Speaker 3: They convicted him of murder and sentenced him to a
Speaker 3: life in prison. Will he beat this rap to the
Speaker 3: boudoir Battle of Washington, d C. The Russian thought she
Speaker 3: was smitten with his charms, but she was after the
Speaker 3: secrets in his briefcase. And then of course the hippies
Speaker 3: raped me and made me pay. They didn't have much
Speaker 3: as much trouble talking him into it as expected. Kent, okay, whatever,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna get into man Man's Combat for its
Speaker 3: improper use of terms like that. Also, the very next
Speaker 3: page after this is straight up softcore pornography, several pages
Speaker 3: of it, so we're not going to get into that.
Speaker 3: We're going to get into a story next. But after
Speaker 3: that softcore pornography, there's two pages of ads, and these
Speaker 3: provide a searing look into the male psyche circa nineteen
Speaker 3: sixty nine, a better one than I've gotten before.
Speaker 2: It is basically the same as.
Speaker 3: The male Psyche circa twenty twenty three. So we've got
Speaker 3: shape up, muscle up, shop, build muscles, gain weight, lose weight,
Speaker 3: everything you need to muscle up and make out. That's
Speaker 3: the first ad, which is for I guess, a series
Speaker 3: of videos on how to get muscles and make out
Speaker 3: with girls. Then the second ad is for this killer
Speaker 3: karate crusher all three ks. I don't like that gives
Speaker 3: you pulverizing hand power. Don't understand. I think it's just
Speaker 3: a rock to hit people with. The end of the
Speaker 3: skinny body is a Yeah, gain fourteen p in fourteen days,
Speaker 3: that's us healthy. Yeah, that seems like a sustainable rate
Speaker 3: of gain here for masculine virility. Create a new exciting
Speaker 3: fun going you the slim guard. I think it's literally
Speaker 3: selling like a fucking shatner. What do you call those things?
Speaker 3: You use it to tighten it around your belly?
Speaker 2: The you mean like body shaping stuff or like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: chicle belts that like, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: I think it's a body shaping deal. Yeah, the slim guard. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then there's loose thirty five pounds in a few weeks.
Speaker 3: That's probably just methamphetamine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, given the healthy rate of health, yeah, weight loss,
Speaker 2: all of this seems healthy.
Speaker 3: I wonder why half this generation died at forty one
Speaker 3: from heart attacks now.
Speaker 2: No clue. Probably the woke agenda. Probably the wok agenda. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Next we get the monthly news segment Hot Flashes for Men,
Speaker 3: which starts with a paragraph long blurb about a bunch
Speaker 3: of former wax who are suing the military because they
Speaker 3: got accused of being lesbians and thus suffered harms to
Speaker 3: their careers and reputations. Now, what's a whack a whack
Speaker 3: is women's.
Speaker 2: Air Corps or auxiliary Corps.
Speaker 3: I think it was basically like if you were a
Speaker 3: woman and wanted to serve in the military in World
Speaker 3: War II. Obviously our military was not gender integrated then,
Speaker 3: but the whax are like how women could serve and
Speaker 3: contribute to the war effort as part of the actual
Speaker 3: like defense department.
Speaker 2: So it was, yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was a military service kind of deal. And this
Speaker 3: is a story about like, it's really just a blurb
Speaker 3: about these women who like got accused of being lesbians
Speaker 3: and like lost their careers, but there was never any
Speaker 3: evidentiary hearing at all, and so they were like suing
Speaker 3: the government over that.
Speaker 2: That's actually kind of interesting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the story is just kind of like, again, this
Speaker 3: is hot Flashes for men. I think literally the only
Speaker 3: reason this is included is because they get to use
Speaker 3: the word lesbian, like these ladies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 3: They were excited by that. After that, we get this
Speaker 3: fascinating section. If you have a taste for pornography and
Speaker 3: haven't been getting enough of the real thing, why not
Speaker 3: organize a chapter of citizens for decent literature in your neighborhood.
Speaker 3: The CDL is a highly respectable group which has appointed
Speaker 3: itself the guardians of public morals, vested with the responsibility
Speaker 3: of protecting all of us from our baser selves. In
Speaker 3: doing so, the various CDL chapters must first view the
Speaker 3: objectionable materials, whether the smut and the former printed literature,
Speaker 3: stag films or whatever. These meetings are often heavily attended,
Speaker 3: and even more attended by heavy.
Speaker 2: Breathing, flushed faces, and a high degree of prurient prudishness.
Speaker 2: That's funny.
Speaker 3: I can think of very few things I want to
Speaker 3: do less than be in a room full of nineteen
Speaker 3: fifty seven dudes and watching whatever a stag film is.
Speaker 2: Also, just there's so many layers. Yeah, there's a lot
Speaker 2: going on in that one. Huh. They're admitting that most
Speaker 2: anti porn crusaders are just porn addicts. Well yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean this is a porn im stock died with a
Speaker 2: warehouse full of all the pornography had been like confiscated.
Speaker 3: I mean, in fairness to them, I think they are
Speaker 3: like purposefully doing this is total. This is they're making
Speaker 3: fun of, like the people who don't like.
Speaker 2: Although for a little while I thought they were just
Speaker 2: earnestly selling antiforn ads in their porn magazine, which also
Speaker 2: kind of rules just as a way to be like whatever,
Speaker 2: we're getting money.
Speaker 3: So enough of that crap. We're going to start with
Speaker 3: the story The Nazis Died Smiling, which has an incredible
Speaker 3: title art piece. Right, that's this is this. This one's
Speaker 3: a banger. You get a great drawing of a Nazi.
Speaker 3: He's like in the doorframe with a woman in lingerie's
Speaker 3: like leading him into the room.
Speaker 2: There's like a naked lady.
Speaker 4: In bed, missing an eye or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's got well, he's like a Prussian officer, so
Speaker 3: he's got like what do you call those, like a monocle. Right,
Speaker 3: and then behind the door is like another woman in lingerie,
Speaker 3: but with a fucking stiletto knife. She's she's gonna stab
Speaker 3: the ship out of this Nazi. Pretty dope. I say, yeah,
Speaker 3: this it's based on true stories.
Speaker 2: There are absolutely women in the resistance, and you're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: come with me into the woods, totally not going to murder.
Speaker 4: You also just love the normal proportions they've given these
Speaker 4: women's bodies.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, just very normal French peasant girls. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So after a brief summary of why Nazis are bad,
Speaker 3: we get told that the German invasion of France. During
Speaker 3: the German invasion of France, an SS unit with their
Speaker 3: general took over a nunnery. They massacred all of the
Speaker 3: older women and then they raped all of the nuns. Now,
Speaker 3: the author of this takes great pains to tell us
Speaker 3: in a talisized text that every girl had been a
Speaker 3: virgin before sun up. Every girl had been ravaged many times.
Speaker 3: So that's unpleasant. There's a lot of unpleasantness. But then
Speaker 3: the girls who survived the night decide, what if we
Speaker 3: become fake prostitutes in order to entrap and murder Nazis?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, which is pretty cool.
Speaker 3: This starts with them, like they decide to like hold
Speaker 3: a party for these Nazis who are occupying the nunnery
Speaker 3: and they feed them arsenic and murder them all fuck yeah,
Speaker 3: which is fine, And then yeah, you get this kind
Speaker 3: of you know, pretty fun story about traumatized nuns ensnaring
Speaker 3: Nazi officers and.
Speaker 2: Brutally murdering them. As you noted, there are.
Speaker 3: Some real events like this, some actual women who like
Speaker 3: would entice Nazi officers into their beds, often acting as prostitutes,
Speaker 3: and then murder them as part of organized resistance plots. Yeah,
Speaker 3: specifically though, and this is the thing that's messed up
Speaker 3: about this. This story is based on a real tragic story,
Speaker 3: the tale of the Blessed Martyrs of Noah Grodek. Okay,
Speaker 3: I think kind of based on it, because this is
Speaker 3: one of the better known stories about like Nazis killing
Speaker 3: a bunch of nuns, right, and you know, this story
Speaker 3: starts stated in France, but other aspects of it are
Speaker 3: kind of similar. And the gist of it is that
Speaker 3: in nineteen forty three, the Gestapo are like massacring a
Speaker 3: bunch of civilians, specifically a lot of Jewish civilians in
Speaker 3: this uh Polish town, you know, no Noah Grodek and
Speaker 3: a bunch of a group of the nuns basically like
Speaker 3: come forward to the Gestapo in public and are like,
Speaker 3: take and murder us instead of murdering these people. And
Speaker 3: because they do it in public, it like the Gestapo
Speaker 3: temporarily has to cancel a bunch of deportations and stop
Speaker 3: because like they looked really bad. In front of the
Speaker 3: whole town, and it's like a dangerous situation for them.
Speaker 3: They do eventually punish the nuns by like coming and
Speaker 3: grabbing them and murdering them all. I think they kill
Speaker 3: eleven nuns something like that, all of whom are like
Speaker 3: not sainted. But another thing that the Catholic Church does
Speaker 3: to say you were pretty rad.
Speaker 2: Oh. I don't think I would know it, but I don't. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's like an actual tragic story, I mean,
Speaker 3: an also heroic story of these ones who like gave
Speaker 3: their lives to try to protect a bunch of you
Speaker 3: know people from being murdered.
Speaker 2: By the Nazis. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think they've kind of taken part of that because
Speaker 3: it involves nuns and turned it into a fetish story.
Speaker 2: So, you know, yeah, men's adventure stories. Hooray, Yeah, hooray.
Speaker 3: Next we get a horny college story and then a
Speaker 3: bunch of dimpled pin up tales, the story of a
Speaker 3: sexy surf bum murderer and then swinging sex in women's prisons.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, I was saying about the surf the surf murderer,
Speaker 2: because they've got the hatchet wielding hitchhiker guy Kai the hit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And I did like Kai up
Speaker 3: until it became clear that he was also a murderer.
Speaker 2: Well, I hold that it is possible that his story
Speaker 2: about what happened was true and that he was defending
Speaker 2: himself from I think it's entirely bosler John anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's an unfortunate tale. Yeah, and completely unrelated. Sorry.
Speaker 3: It's one of those situations where he was a hero
Speaker 3: in a situation in which an axe was the best
Speaker 3: tool to use, and then he was in another situation
Speaker 3: which it might not have been but uh.
Speaker 2: Right, or it could have been, but it was not
Speaker 2: publicly acceptable. Yeah, it's hard to tell. Yeah, difficult tale.
Speaker 2: This is not that story.
Speaker 3: Although we can try and go back and talk about
Speaker 3: the Sexy surf bumb if you want.
Speaker 2: All right, I just got excited about Kay the Sexy
Speaker 2: surf bumb mercer.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Swinging Sex and Women's Prison is the next one,
Speaker 3: and then after that it's s e X The Love
Speaker 3: Slave of the Geisha, which has some of the one
Speaker 3: of the first pieces of like straight up like bondage
Speaker 3: art I've seen in one of these, so that's interesting.
Speaker 3: It's like a man tied to four corners of a bed.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, yeah, there, you know.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of like male submissiveness in this, right,
Speaker 2: This is like, yes, a lot of like women as
Speaker 2: the active agent of yes, trickery and assault. And it's interesting.
Speaker 3: And I think one of the things about that is
Speaker 3: because obviously they are servicing a group of men who
Speaker 3: are attracted to that, who find who fantasize about that,
Speaker 3: but also don't feel like they can fantasize, so the
Speaker 3: fantasy has to be I have been put in a
Speaker 3: situation which I legitimately don't have a choice, right opposed
Speaker 3: to like you wouldn't. These probably are not meant for
Speaker 3: people who actually like do this kind of play. It's
Speaker 3: meant for people who, like you need an excuse to
Speaker 3: feel like, well, you know, this is a situation in which, oh,
Speaker 3: you know, he just had no other option. The hippies
Speaker 3: tied him down, and you know, what else could he
Speaker 3: do but submit? It's yeah, it is interesting. And speaking
Speaker 3: of what, let's get to that hippie story. Excellent, because
Speaker 3: this one has quite an opener, Margaret. Of all the
Speaker 3: stories we've seen, this is probably most honest about its
Speaker 3: intended audience, which is sad horny white guys who live
Speaker 3: in suburbia and are board as hell.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: I'm a married man with three children, and I own
Speaker 3: a small hardware store and a town in Massachusetts. I
Speaker 3: belong to the Rotary Club, the Chamber of Commerce, and
Speaker 3: I'm a deacon in my church. I'm a really solid citizen.
Speaker 3: Ask anyone who knows me. It's all upfront, though deep down,
Speaker 3: I'm the same man I was twenty years ago when
Speaker 3: I drank too much, slept with every girl I could
Speaker 3: get into bed, and some of the things I did
Speaker 3: with and two the women I had weren't very pretty.
Speaker 3: Then I met Emily, cleaned up the mess of my life.
Speaker 3: I went to church with her regularly and tried not
Speaker 3: to get caught aggling the women and the congregation, and
Speaker 3: then subsequently went into business. Twenty years and three children later,
Speaker 3: I'm about as dola character as you're apt to find
Speaker 3: on any rotary or sea of c luncheon. Inside, though
Speaker 3: I haven't changed. There's a motel I drive to about
Speaker 3: twice a month where I know a fairly pretty young
Speaker 3: prostitute will be waiting. I take fantastic pains not to
Speaker 3: be caught, and so far, I've been lucky. There have
Speaker 3: been a few women I've met in my store who
Speaker 3: let me know they'd be delighted to have a little
Speaker 3: extra marital fun, but I avoided going all the way
Speaker 3: with them. It seems safe enough, but each time I
Speaker 3: backed down at the last minute. It's like you can
Speaker 3: see who this is being marketed towards, right, And there's
Speaker 3: even that thing about like, well, I used to be
Speaker 3: a wild man, because like, yeah, you want to feel like, ah,
Speaker 3: I was just these this wife and kids that took
Speaker 3: me out of my wild years where I was cool the.
Speaker 2: Arrow to the knee proverbially speaking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, his was Emily. So now, look, my
Speaker 3: heart does go out to this guy because he is
Speaker 3: clearly unable to communicate with his wife and probably in
Speaker 3: everyone else and his wife, which is probably I think
Speaker 3: accurately describes a kind of guy whose heart exploded after
Speaker 3: two years of you know, too many years of chainsmoking
Speaker 3: cigarettes and being filled with resentment.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: That's like, that's like a decent.
Speaker 3: Chunk of that generation that was their Vietnam also Vietnam.
Speaker 3: So yeah, he spends he spends several paragraphs giving us
Speaker 3: descriptions of all the things he likes seeing on younger women,
Speaker 3: and then we unfortunately find out what young means in
Speaker 3: this context, my teenage daughter's friends are another source of temptation.
Speaker 3: Now that's a sentence that should never be written.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's that whole American beauty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's still you can you can find very
Speaker 3: recent movies fantasizing about this.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this guy's a creepy he puts it, speaking of
Speaker 3: American beauty. I put a concrete pool in my backyard
Speaker 3: a year ago, and all the kids hang out back there.
Speaker 3: I mean, some of them really do hang out. The
Speaker 3: way they make bait. I don't want to read this line, Margaret,
Speaker 3: but it's it is kind of too revealing to not read,
Speaker 3: all right, the way they make bathing suits today. It's
Speaker 3: a wonder there isn't a mass rape daily at the
Speaker 3: public beaches.
Speaker 2: So what if we put all them like this?
Speaker 3: Son of an Island, Yeah yeah, speaking of your book,
Speaker 3: Escape from in Cell Island, Yeah, what a what a
Speaker 3: dark dive? This is like, uh, what you might call it?
Speaker 3: What's that book? Uh, the one that they made Apocalypse
Speaker 3: Now based off.
Speaker 2: Of Heart of Darkness.
Speaker 3: Heart of Darkness very hearted darkness moment for us here, Margaret. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so the basic the gist of the story is that
Speaker 3: like he notices these hot hippy chicks out in front
Speaker 3: of his store, and then eventually, while he's locking up
Speaker 3: after work, they've broken into his car and they're like
Speaker 3: sitting in there, and yes they do, they do call
Speaker 3: him daddy, oh several times.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, that's important.
Speaker 3: He tries to get them to leave, but they basically
Speaker 3: ask him to like take them to a motel and
Speaker 3: then once they get there, they like take his keys,
Speaker 3: so he like follows them into the room to get
Speaker 3: his keys back, and then they like hold him at
Speaker 3: knife point, and like there's a light scene where they
Speaker 3: like threaten him a little bit, but it's it's he's
Speaker 3: clearly enjoying it. And then you know, they all have
Speaker 3: sex with him and then he becomes their pimp and
Speaker 3: it's a happy ending until they until they get arrested
Speaker 3: for I think robbing a bank, wait, bust in the police.
Speaker 3: They get busted in a police rate and then they
Speaker 3: send him a letter from jail being like thanks for
Speaker 3: all of the pimping.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. So it's like they're like the weather
Speaker 2: underground basically they're like.
Speaker 3: Kind of yeah, I think it was more they got
Speaker 3: arrested for being sex workers.
Speaker 2: Oh, they said they were robbing a bank.
Speaker 3: I thought that that was me being wrong. I think
Speaker 3: it was. I think it was a look. I had
Speaker 3: to read through a lot of these stories.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm sure they all blurn again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they they certainly do. So, Margaret, that's most of
Speaker 3: what I've got for you this week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do wanna.
Speaker 3: I do want to end with with one lasd title,
Speaker 3: with one last cover page of a magazine. Perhaps we
Speaker 3: should have gotten to but boy, maybe next time.
Speaker 2: Maybe so much time I day.
Speaker 3: You know, it's called Rage for Men, and the art
Speaker 3: the cover art is two very English explorers with like
Speaker 3: white pit helmets and they're fighting off. It would look
Speaker 3: like rabid dogs. It's called Fangs at my Throat. They
Speaker 3: have such horrified looks on their face.
Speaker 2: They're they're white people, but they're red. They are because
Speaker 2: they're British. Right, They've been drinking.
Speaker 3: They've been mainlining nothing but gin and tonics for seventy
Speaker 3: three years.
Speaker 2: Yeah all right, Yeah, and then the some of the
Speaker 2: other things that says on there is is a woman
Speaker 2: making you impotent. It's your fault. I can't get it up.
Speaker 3: Which is right above the Cortisan who ran for president.
Speaker 2: Are women coming in to destroy your life? Try rage?
Speaker 2: Yes they have. They have been trying that fairly effectively
Speaker 2: unfortunately for a very long time.
Speaker 3: Elvis Presley defends rock and roll. Sure, that's a fascinating interview.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then of course Fangs in my Throat, which is
Speaker 3: the cover story of these British men being beaten or
Speaker 3: murdered by dogs.
Speaker 2: That is the one upside of all of this is
Speaker 2: that the dogs are gonna win.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I do think the dogs are gonna win. They've got
Speaker 3: that one dude by the throat, so I felt pretty
Speaker 3: good about their chances.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, mag Pie, do you understand you know, the older generation,
Speaker 3: you know of both of writers and editors, you know
Speaker 3: of in cells any better now sadly?
Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah, that is the price of this show. That
Speaker 2: is the price of this show. I think I do
Speaker 2: understand them that the nothing ever changesness of it is
Speaker 2: the like, really is a woman or it? And it's
Speaker 2: like pointing out it's all the stuff that you're like
Speaker 2: because I mostly read feminism from this period, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so I read all this feminism and some of
Speaker 2: the things that they're like saying that the men are doing.
Speaker 2: I'm like, were they really or are you like exaggerating
Speaker 2: or like what And they're like reading, You're like no, no,
Speaker 2: it's they are blaming women for making them impotent and
Speaker 2: can't actually have honest fantasies about being submissive to women,
Speaker 2: so they must create like elaborate systems around it, and
Speaker 2: and like, yeah, it is the is the it's not
Speaker 2: a it's a portal into a damaged psyche.
Speaker 3: It is a portal, like it is a portal, like
Speaker 3: the The the healthiest and least problematic article here from
Speaker 3: like a like a a sex and gender point of
Speaker 3: view is the story about a woman being murdered by crabs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is not great, but yeah it's not great,
Speaker 2: but yeah, you know it is.
Speaker 3: It is by far the least problematic thing we've discussed
Speaker 3: in these in these episodes.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, please cut this out. Could I read the
Speaker 2: first page of Insult Island? Yeah? Sure, why not? I'm
Speaker 2: going to go grab a copy.
Speaker 3: Oh, we never left. I don't know why I'm doing
Speaker 3: my returning back thing. It's because we had an idea Margaret.
Speaker 3: We had a great idea, because this is this is
Speaker 3: your Christmas present, your bizarre prelapsarian Orthodox Rosicrucian crypto.
Speaker 2: Cryptomalogy.
Speaker 3: I don't know, yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know enough Christianity to make a better joke
Speaker 3: about your obscure Christmas. You want to read it from
Speaker 3: your novel that people should buy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, okay, because we're talking about pulp fic. So
Speaker 2: I'm going to read the first, first page, first couple
Speaker 2: paragraphs of Escape from innsul Island.
Speaker 3: Excellent. Yeah, let's do it. Let's let's entice them a
Speaker 3: much better story than the stories we've read today. Although
Speaker 3: maybe nobody does get eaten by crabs.
Speaker 2: I give the crabs story there. I know there's people
Speaker 2: who would try to feed people the crabs in this,
Speaker 2: but they come lately. Yeah. They don't call me man
Speaker 2: Killer Jones for nothing. They call me man Killer Jones
Speaker 2: because I tell people that's my name, and I kind
Speaker 2: of throw a fit if anyone calls me anything else. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I have a feeling most people call me Shirley behind
Speaker 2: my back or mixed Jones if they're feeling formal. It
Speaker 2: doesn't bother me too much what people call me, because
Speaker 2: I'm never around to hear it. I'm always too busy
Speaker 2: infiltrating and x filtrating the deadliest places on Earth. War
Speaker 2: and disaster would be my middle name if I hadn't
Speaker 2: already legally changed my middle name to danger. I only
Speaker 2: feel alive when I'm surrounded by the dead, the dying,
Speaker 2: and the people who don't know they're about to find
Speaker 2: themselves in those categories. I only feel alive in the
Speaker 2: hottest of hot spots, spots like in Cell Island, which
Speaker 2: inched over the horizon to greet us as the sun
Speaker 2: rose behind us.
Speaker 3: Excellent, very exciting. So check out Escape from in Cell Island.
Speaker 3: It's a wonderful story. And Margaret, is it possible? And
Speaker 3: I'm completely coming out of left field here, no idea
Speaker 3: if this is the case, really just inventing shit and
Speaker 3: putting you on the spot for it. Is it possible
Speaker 3: that there's some sort of story based podcast, like a
Speaker 3: short fiction show that's going to be launching in a
Speaker 3: place where people can listen to it and hear fun
Speaker 3: stories about you know, collapse and survival and endurance and
Speaker 3: all that good stuff.
Speaker 2: Should we call it the Cool Zone Book Club, and
Speaker 2: I was thinking we could. It could come out starting
Speaker 2: October eighth of this year, and it could be an
Speaker 2: every Sunday addition to it could happen and hear feed,
Speaker 2: so it's already in the feed that you already listen to.
Speaker 3: That's an incredible pitch. Yes, yes, it could be. Well
Speaker 3: everyone you've got that to look forward to short stories
Speaker 3: and longer stories as well, coming every weekend to the
Speaker 3: it could happen here feed in order to basically derive
Speaker 3: a sneaky way of paying people for fiction again, which
Speaker 3: gets harder and harder every year, so somebody ought to try.
Speaker 2: And also because I think it's like the itch that
Speaker 2: these stories from these old magazines, even like it's a
Speaker 2: specific itch, you know. And I think that that's also
Speaker 2: one that because the market is so hard to it's
Speaker 2: so gone, we want to encourage people to be writing
Speaker 2: these stories because we want to hear them. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love short stories. I grew up reading a lot
Speaker 3: of like you know, Lovecraft and Asimov and all those.
Speaker 3: I mean, they were mostly men. But that's a not
Speaker 3: a problem with the concept of a short story just right.
Speaker 2: But I think that.
Speaker 3: It's like like journalism, which we also try to find
Speaker 3: ways to pay feet before here rid cool Zone. It's
Speaker 3: gotten like thinner and thinner on the ground, actual places
Speaker 3: like public and there are some there are some really
Speaker 3: great magazines still out there where you can read much
Speaker 3: higher grade short stories than these men's adventure magazines from
Speaker 3: the fifties and sixties. And all of the editors keeping
Speaker 3: those places alive are are are heroic and great and
Speaker 3: that's why you are going to be joining them soon
Speaker 3: and doing that. But in podcast for.
Speaker 2: Hooray, so yeah, check it out and there'll be more
Speaker 2: information about it on it Sundays. Yes, it could happen.
Speaker 3: Here Sundays when it could happen here, Well, folks, that's
Speaker 3: going to probably do it for all of us here. Yeah, yep, yep, bye,
Speaker 3: go to Hell.
Speaker 2: I Love you.
Speaker 4: Behind the Bastards is a production of cool Zone Media.
Speaker 4: For more from cool Zone Media, visit our website Coolzonemedia
Speaker 4: dot com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 4: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.