1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,760
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, So we are going on the wind Down Tour.

2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,800
Speaker 1: Michael and I are so excited. We can't wait to

3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,520
Speaker 1: get out there and just talk about life and love

4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,800
Speaker 1: and laugh, maybe have a few good cries in there.

5
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,319
Speaker 2: You never know with wine Down, and we're gonna bring

6
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,440
Speaker 2: you know, people from from the seats, from the audience

7
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,800
Speaker 2: up on stage. We're gonna come out with some microphones.

8
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,639
Speaker 2: We're gonna get you all involved. It's very interactive, a

9
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,920
Speaker 2: ton of fun and honestly, some nights we don't even

10
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:27,880
Speaker 2: know what's about to go down.

11
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,960
Speaker 1: Well, that's the coolest thing about the wind Down Tour

12
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 1: is that you know, you guys can ask us questions

13
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,279
Speaker 1: and you really kind of guide, you guide the night

14
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,159
Speaker 1: for us. And so we are going to San Antonio,

15
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,720
Speaker 1: We're going to Austin, We're going to Dallas, We're going

16
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,680
Speaker 1: to Houston and then Los Angeles and Sacramento. So you

17
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,680
Speaker 1: guys get your tickets. Go to janakramer dot com slash

18
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,080
Speaker 1: tour to get your wind Down tickets. So excited to

19
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:53,600
Speaker 1: see you guys.

20
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:54,360
Speaker 2: Come on out, y'all.

21
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,400
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Coffin and I'm

22
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 1: her radio podcast Gang's all here.

23
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:04,640
Speaker 2: Just another Monday.

24
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 3: I mean.

25
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,040
Speaker 2: You here we go.

26
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,759
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I back at it. No, because we've

27
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 1: got Easton and Mark too.

28
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:16,720
Speaker 4: I know.

29
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,400
Speaker 1: How does it feel like to have like the whole gang?

30
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,080
Speaker 1: Because last time it was just you and me isolated,

31
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,760
Speaker 1: isolated in our emotions.

32
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,120
Speaker 2: Uh huh. No one wanted a part of that.

33
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,960
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, nah, you're good.

34
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,080
Speaker 2: You guys got it.

35
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,720
Speaker 5: Even if we've been here last week we hung out

36
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,160
Speaker 5: of that one.

37
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:38,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, come on, somebody throwss the lifeline.

38
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:44,280
Speaker 2: Hell no. But I mean it's good just to hear

39
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 2: y'all's voices and to be back with everybody and just

40
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,520
Speaker 2: get back into our zone.

41
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,720
Speaker 1: Mike, you've kind of learned what you said that you

42
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,280
Speaker 1: caught yourself the other day with the kids where it's

43
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,880
Speaker 1: Joelie is just kind of like doing things I think

44
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,240
Speaker 1: to just get a reaction. Even Jason right now too.

45
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,480
Speaker 1: But it's what does she do in you were like,

46
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,120
Speaker 1: you caught yourself to not be like critical.

47
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, last night I was upstairs with the kids and

48
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,040
Speaker 2: we were playing like before bathtime and everything in the playroom,

49
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,360
Speaker 2: and I had Jason my lap and Jolie was playing

50
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,000
Speaker 2: with this little toy like ukulele and stepped on this

51
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,799
Speaker 2: like a platform plush thing that we have for Jase

52
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,000
Speaker 2: to crawl on, and she stepped on the edge of it,

53
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,360
Speaker 2: so it flipped up. She fell forward, and like you know,

54
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,480
Speaker 2: usually when kids do that, it's not so much that

55
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,160
Speaker 2: they got hurt, but it more scares them and they

56
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,359
Speaker 2: still cry. So she got scared. She kind of hurt

57
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,720
Speaker 2: her hand a little bit and started crying. And my immediate,

58
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,000
Speaker 2: like the first thought that came to mind of what

59
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,800
Speaker 2: I wanted to say was why would you do that?

60
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,639
Speaker 2: Like I literally wanted to say that to our four

61
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:49,400
Speaker 2: year old daughter, and I had to I had to

62
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,040
Speaker 2: catch myself and be like, no, it's not what I

63
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,840
Speaker 2: want to say, and I calmed down. I was like, okay, hey, Joeli,

64
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,880
Speaker 2: are you okay? I'm sorry that happened. Hey, you know

65
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,320
Speaker 2: that happened because you stepped in the edge. So if

66
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,720
Speaker 2: you want to do that again, just try to step

67
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,080
Speaker 2: more in the middle then it won't fall on you.

68
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,320
Speaker 2: But it was just that was my natural reaction to

69
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,040
Speaker 2: think the other way.

70
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,160
Speaker 1: But I was like, wow, what a cool teaching moment,

71
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,080
Speaker 1: because I think I remember my mom and we've brought

72
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,240
Speaker 1: this up a few times too. She yelled at me

73
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,480
Speaker 1: and said something like why would you do that? I

74
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,960
Speaker 1: was like, well, mom, I don't know. Why won't you

75
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,040
Speaker 1: like why don't you teach me? Show me how to

76
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 1: do it right? And it's like I've remembered that so

77
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,320
Speaker 1: much now as a parent because I'm like, it's so

78
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,760
Speaker 1: easy to Joulie, why would Jase? Why would why would

79
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,480
Speaker 1: you do that? Like can't you see that it's gonna

80
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,080
Speaker 1: fall or that you're gonna hurt yourself for this or

81
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,560
Speaker 1: that or other where it's like, hey, don't do this

82
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,240
Speaker 1: because this can happen. Like I think, I don't know

83
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 1: if it's the we expect them to.

84
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,000
Speaker 2: Know that, and I think too a lot of us

85
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,400
Speaker 2: receive that. I think every kid has received that at

86
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,440
Speaker 2: some point in time from their parents of why would

87
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,160
Speaker 2: you do that? Use your head? You know how many

88
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,920
Speaker 2: times have kids heard that, like why would you use

89
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,000
Speaker 2: your head? Just use your head?

90
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:02,520
Speaker 1: Okay, you're getting triggered right now, but I mean that

91
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 1: really was something for you though, Yeah, where it's.

92
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:09,720
Speaker 2: Like, you know, it was just I would feel stupid

93
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 2: and then like shamed and feel like, oh, yeah, why

94
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,760
Speaker 2: would I do that? I don't know right, you know,

95
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,800
Speaker 2: but it's at least you said you don't.

96
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,159
Speaker 1: I think just like being conscious of it, Like there's

97
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,799
Speaker 1: gonna be times we're gonna be like what are you thinking?

98
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,840
Speaker 1: But then it's like kind of been like ah, sorry.

99
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,800
Speaker 2: You know, and more so now than when they're like sixteen,

100
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,600
Speaker 2: and it's like what are you thinking?

101
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but isn't that one like you really want your

102
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,600
Speaker 1: parents to be not your friend. I get the not

103
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 1: having your friend, but also not doing kind of what

104
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:45,880
Speaker 1: happened with I'm like trying to like with the you

105
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,720
Speaker 1: know where it's like they you yes, they might have

106
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,360
Speaker 1: really screwed up, but they've come to you and they

107
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,360
Speaker 1: told you the truth. So instead of saying what were

108
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,960
Speaker 1: you thinking, it's like, hey, thanks for coming to me.

109
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,720
Speaker 1: Or if so they got caught. Let's say one of

110
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 1: the kids got caught with like, I would be very

111
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,840
Speaker 1: upset with the whole vaping stuff. I'd be so upset

112
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,919
Speaker 1: if I caught one of the kids vaping, especially with

113
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,839
Speaker 1: all the I mean, who knows what's going to be

114
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,160
Speaker 1: vaping at their age, but like let's just say right now,

115
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,200
Speaker 1: if they're older and they were vaping, and I would

116
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,160
Speaker 1: be like my first thought would be like, what are

117
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,120
Speaker 1: you thinking? Like you could die and they don't know, Like, honestly,

118
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,320
Speaker 1: rather you have a cigarette of.

119
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,480
Speaker 2: All of you know, And that's our that's our feelings

120
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,000
Speaker 2: behind it, that's our reaction, right, But.

121
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,040
Speaker 1: I would rather be like, Okay, why did you want

122
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,840
Speaker 1: to do this? Is? Are there kids that wanted?

123
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:29,320
Speaker 4: You know?

124
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,680
Speaker 1: Did you feel cool doing it? Instead of saying why would.

125
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,560
Speaker 2: You do this? No, for sure, I'm just saying it's

126
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,479
Speaker 2: gonna I honestly think when the kids are older, it'll

127
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,080
Speaker 2: be more difficult to have that pause like I had

128
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:41,600
Speaker 2: last night.

129
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,000
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you have wanted that from your father?

130
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,640
Speaker 2: Oh? I thought I would want it. Every every kid

131
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,440
Speaker 2: would want that from their parents and I and I'm

132
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,039
Speaker 2: practicing it now. Is going to be beneficial for the

133
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,479
Speaker 2: when the kids are older, because that's really when they're

134
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,120
Speaker 2: going to be developing these skills to learn from and

135
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,920
Speaker 2: bring into their you know, young adulthood.

136
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,680
Speaker 1: What did our couples therapists say the other night where

137
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 1: their cortex something in the brain shuts off at at

138
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,039
Speaker 1: like ten and then doesn't come back online till twenty three,

139
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,040
Speaker 1: So from like ten to twenty three, there's acting like crazy.

140
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,520
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but that's that's basically what they said. They're

141
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,520
Speaker 1: like you just there is no reasoning really right, because

142
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,479
Speaker 1: they're not really acting from there. It was that they're

143
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,680
Speaker 1: something some part of the brain.

144
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,360
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't remember exactly. I don't want

145
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,039
Speaker 2: to say it.

146
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,680
Speaker 5: And how you how your kids, how you react to

147
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,960
Speaker 5: your kids hurting themselves is an interesting conversation because I

148
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 5: don't know the right answer because I think moms tend

149
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,640
Speaker 5: to rush to their child's aid, like, oh my gosh,

150
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,880
Speaker 5: your poor thing. Are you're okay, where dads tend to

151
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,720
Speaker 5: be more You're fine, get up, shake it off. And

152
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,560
Speaker 5: I don't know what the right answer is because I

153
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,720
Speaker 5: feel like both can have both can backfire. When you

154
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,479
Speaker 5: rush in, oh my gosh, you okay, suddenly they know

155
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,000
Speaker 5: that all they have to do is kind of scrape

156
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,400
Speaker 5: my knee and I can get this kind of love

157
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,839
Speaker 5: and attention, and or they'll even think it's a bigger

158
00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,560
Speaker 5: deal than it is, especially when the young If your

159
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,560
Speaker 5: parent has a big reaction, you're like, oh my gosh,

160
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,800
Speaker 5: I'm really hurt. What But the other element of it,

161
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,480
Speaker 5: get up, shake it off. I feel like there was

162
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,120
Speaker 5: a message there like you just scraped your knee, you're fine,

163
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 5: get up and keep moving. And I tend to be

164
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,920
Speaker 5: more of the get up and keep moving kind of

165
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,600
Speaker 5: a guy. But I'm not sure that's the right way

166
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:16,880
Speaker 5: to go.

167
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,600
Speaker 1: Devil's Advocate does that then, maybe not teach them how

168
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 1: to have empathy?

169
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:28,640
Speaker 2: Possibly, Well, it's a way to suppress your emotions. It's

170
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,040
Speaker 2: a way to like kind of train you to suppress

171
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:31,760
Speaker 2: certain emotions.

172
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,400
Speaker 1: And but I totally would do the same, like come on,

173
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,280
Speaker 1: you got to hear fine.

174
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,520
Speaker 2: You're fine, up and not to I mean, I have

175
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,200
Speaker 2: very few wins I feel like in life sometimes, So

176
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,000
Speaker 2: to go off of my win last night with the kids,

177
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,480
Speaker 2: I will say, with the topic that we're talking about,

178
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,840
Speaker 2: I think it was kind of the best of both

179
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:59,559
Speaker 2: worlds because Okay, I didn't say, Julie, you're fine, like stop,

180
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,720
Speaker 2: you're fine, get up, you're good. And I also didn't

181
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,640
Speaker 2: rush over to her. I sat where I was and

182
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,000
Speaker 2: I talked to her kindly and softly and said, what

183
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,440
Speaker 2: you know, what happened? Do you come here? And she

184
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,920
Speaker 2: came to me, and I hugged her and kissed her

185
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,000
Speaker 2: and then explained it to her. So it was. I

186
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,200
Speaker 2: liked it. I would like to think that it's that

187
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,960
Speaker 2: was kind of a way to meet in the middle

188
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,480
Speaker 2: where she didn't get this overbearing reaction of oh my god,

189
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,480
Speaker 2: but she also didn't get, you know, the dismiss the

190
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,720
Speaker 2: dismissed feelings.

191
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:36,800
Speaker 1: What if we call it pause parenting, paused parenting, paused

192
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,160
Speaker 1: parenting where you take a pause.

193
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:42,280
Speaker 2: Easier said than done. And then I know, like there's

194
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 2: gonna be some days where when Jason's older, I'm gonna

195
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,480
Speaker 2: be like, dude, stop being a.

196
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,800
Speaker 1: Dick, but stop because that's not that's not what you

197
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 1: would have wanted from your dad.

198
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,520
Speaker 2: No, but I'm saying when it's an important moment, no,

199
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 2: But there's gonna be times where.

200
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,920
Speaker 1: He might do something brushing her teeth an important moment.

201
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,880
Speaker 2: Okay. What I received is a lot more than hey

202
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,080
Speaker 2: and playfully stop being a dick.

203
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,400
Speaker 1: Okay. I'm just trying to play devils with you here

204
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,880
Speaker 1: because I just want you to be cautious, because you

205
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,080
Speaker 1: you don't want the same pattern repeating no.

206
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,720
Speaker 2: For sure, trust me, I'll be very conscientious of that.

207
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:19,000
Speaker 2: Speaking on the topic of the children, though I don't

208
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:23,160
Speaker 2: look at comments really often, but with being back on

209
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,679
Speaker 2: the podcast. I'm looking at comments just on the podcast app.

210
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:26,480
Speaker 1: Oh don't look.

211
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,520
Speaker 2: No, it's the worst, the worst. I think if either

212
00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,080
Speaker 2: one of us look at it will end up fighting

213
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,360
Speaker 2: each other. But I did, I did. I did see

214
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,320
Speaker 2: a few, and I've seen these before that I can't

215
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 2: not address and I have to defend you me. Yes,

216
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:47,400
Speaker 2: because a few people commented about how you talk about

217
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,640
Speaker 2: Jolie and like shaming you and how you are and

218
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:56,920
Speaker 2: playing playing favoritism and all this bullshit, and it got

219
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,640
Speaker 2: me irate. I was like, only if y'all could see

220
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,040
Speaker 2: how is to our kids on a daily basis, y'all

221
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,839
Speaker 2: wouldn't have to say no. Seriously, it gets me roughed

222
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,439
Speaker 2: up because that's unbelievable. They don't see what behind what

223
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 2: goes on behind closed doors. And this is our podcast.

224
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,520
Speaker 2: We can speak our opinions, we can vent, we can

225
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 2: talk about our kids annoying us and being little head

226
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,760
Speaker 2: sometimes because they are. Anyone who has kids understands that

227
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,400
Speaker 2: you want to be able to call them that sometimes

228
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,559
Speaker 2: because they are. And yeah, right now, Jace, it's hard

229
00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 2: for him to do any wrong because he's one years

230
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,600
Speaker 2: old and he's the most adorable little boy in the

231
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,320
Speaker 2: world and Jolia is four going on fourteen and she

232
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,760
Speaker 2: acts like it, So I mean, it's inevitable we're gonna

233
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,439
Speaker 2: feel that way at times. But this just because we

234
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,720
Speaker 2: vent or Gina vents about that or talks about it

235
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,760
Speaker 2: and jokes about it, doesn't mean that she plays favoritism.

236
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,400
Speaker 2: Doesn't mean that she speaks that way to Jolie. She's

237
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 2: the best mom I know and would do anything for

238
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,960
Speaker 2: both kids and loves them equally. So it just pissed hery.

239
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,040
Speaker 2: It pissed me off when I started seeing that stuff

240
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,760
Speaker 2: because I was like, that's one area that no one

241
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:02,000
Speaker 2: has a right to comment about because they don't know.

242
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:07,400
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, So thanks, babe, I appreciate that. My soapbox, Ma, well, no,

243
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:12,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. You know, people are just gonna That's

244
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,480
Speaker 1: why I said something there on my Instagram because someone

245
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,839
Speaker 1: was basically called me. You know. So when we've had

246
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,920
Speaker 1: the conversation our last podcast, everyone there was a like

247
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,960
Speaker 1: ninety percent was super positive. And then I made the

248
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,319
Speaker 1: mistake of reading comments on a on a other website

249
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:36,000
Speaker 1: and those were all obviously terrible, but one of the

250
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,800
Speaker 1: girls on my Instagram left like a really like nasty DM,

251
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,880
Speaker 1: and was just like, you know, you're basically an idiot

252
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 1: for staying and like that's not showing your kid's strength.

253
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,640
Speaker 1: And because of your daughter and how you treat her

254
00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,960
Speaker 1: like a baby, she's going to be like basically messed

255
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,520
Speaker 1: up until she's fourteen or and jas won't talk until

256
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,760
Speaker 1: he's fourteen, and then kind of like mocking Jolly's speech delay,

257
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 1: I know. And I was like, look, you can go

258
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,240
Speaker 1: after me and my love life all day long. I

259
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,880
Speaker 1: don't care. I've got thick skin, but you talk about

260
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,760
Speaker 1: my kids and making fun of Jolie and making fun

261
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,720
Speaker 1: of how like I'm a parent, or criticizing how I parent,

262
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,400
Speaker 1: or that Jase isn't gonna talk till he's fourteen because

263
00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 1: you know I treat him like a baby. Like it,

264
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,400
Speaker 1: I was just like f you. Basically I ended up

265
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 1: putting it on my story, but then I took it

266
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,280
Speaker 1: down because I was like, you know what, I don't

267
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,120
Speaker 1: want to put the negative out there because I know

268
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 1: there's enough positive. But I did say something where I

269
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,600
Speaker 1: was like, I I just don't want to say people

270
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 1: that well, I just don't understand people who can say

271
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,240
Speaker 1: mean things about other people's kids, Like I can sometimes

272
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,040
Speaker 1: like that. You know, there's the kid at the playground

273
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,680
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, I'm gonna don't hurt my kids

274
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 1: or be nice.

275
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,000
Speaker 2: And oh, yeah, you have no problem going up to

276
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 2: a little kid, and.

277
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,079
Speaker 1: Well, I know, but I would never like be mean

278
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:53,480
Speaker 1: or something.

279
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,559
Speaker 2: Oh you've been mean, You've always been respectful.

280
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,000
Speaker 1: But so I just don't get people that say mean

281
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,840
Speaker 1: comments online. It's just really bothered me.

282
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,560
Speaker 5: I get that that's rough, that is really rough, and

283
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,719
Speaker 5: it's scary that that's you know, well you should read

284
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,760
Speaker 5: those and blah blah blah. And people just love being

285
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,360
Speaker 5: anonymous on the internet. But it's scary that people have

286
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,680
Speaker 5: that in them, that they have those thoughts.

287
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,160
Speaker 6: Right, And I get.

288
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,360
Speaker 1: And I had my friend Brandon, who's so sweet, Brandon Leslie,

289
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,920
Speaker 1: they're a married friend of ours, and you know, he

290
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,760
Speaker 1: sent me message he's like, look, he's like, when you're

291
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 1: in this world, He's like, you're not going to have

292
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,680
Speaker 1: one hundred percent approval, right, you just aren't. And that

293
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,440
Speaker 1: somewhat kills me because I want people to like me,

294
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,360
Speaker 1: but them at the same time, what I want, what

295
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,360
Speaker 1: I want, honestly is I want people to disagree with me,

296
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:40,320
Speaker 1: but still respect me. That's what I want. I disagree

297
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,720
Speaker 1: with a lot of my friends. I disagree with a

298
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,920
Speaker 1: lot of you know, I disagree with my friend's political background,

299
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,240
Speaker 1: but I still love her. I'm not going to be disrespectful.

300
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,520
Speaker 1: That's all I usually ask is you can disagree with me,

301
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,120
Speaker 1: but don't be disrespectful and that.

302
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,320
Speaker 2: But that's just the whole theme of society where that's

303
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,400
Speaker 2: why politics, religion, all those things are such you know,

304
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,280
Speaker 2: hot time topics or you know, hot buttons for people

305
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,000
Speaker 2: at over the holidays or at big gatherings or family

306
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:10,720
Speaker 2: reunions or whatever, because people just tend to get disrespectful

307
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,600
Speaker 2: and heeded about their opinions or going against someone else's

308
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,080
Speaker 2: opinions when it comes to those kind of things. Yeah,

309
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,720
Speaker 2: so it's just, I mean, it's just the way it is.

310
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,480
Speaker 2: We have our guests here. I'm super excited. We'll introduce

311
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,200
Speaker 2: them in a minute, but first let's take a break.

312
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:33,000
Speaker 1: Okay, I am real excited.

313
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,400
Speaker 2: Who isn't.

314
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 1: Do you want to do the intro?

315
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,400
Speaker 2: Janea's nervous of saying the name incorrectly.

316
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,720
Speaker 1: I just want to I don't want to mess up

317
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,000
Speaker 1: Alexa's name because she's beautiful and she deserves the biggest

318
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:43,640
Speaker 1: entrance ever.

319
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,560
Speaker 2: So everyone, welcome to our studio. Mister Matt Fraser and

320
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:52,800
Speaker 2: Alexa Pepagotis, Yes, thank you.

321
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:53,520
Speaker 3: I got it.

322
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,880
Speaker 4: He almost got it.

323
00:14:55,240 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 2: What I messed up? Matt Peas, I said, go didn't? I?

324
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,040
Speaker 4: You put the goat in it?

325
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,040
Speaker 6: Very difficult.

326
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,600
Speaker 1: So on e meet the Frasers Monday, ten ninth Central.

327
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 1: How much fun are you guys having doing this together?

328
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,200
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it has been a blast, literally a blast.

329
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,560
Speaker 6: I know it's not often. I mean, you guys know,

330
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,760
Speaker 6: it's not often that you get to work with the

331
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,040
Speaker 6: person you're in love with and with, so to do

332
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,640
Speaker 6: it all the time. Plus our families is like a

333
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 6: dream come true.

334
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,360
Speaker 3: Well that's that's the hard part work with the film. Well,

335
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,160
Speaker 3: I mean our family tends. Some people think us is hard.

336
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:36,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, by dead people. I'm not. I'm haunted by the living.

337
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,440
Speaker 4: I'm haunted by my family members.

338
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Who is it? What inspired you guys to

339
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 2: kind of combine and do this show together?

340
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 4: So, you know, to be honest with you, I don't

341
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 4: even know. One day, great question.

342
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that I got to recall one day

343
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 3: from MGM YEP in Los Angeles, and they learned about

344
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,600
Speaker 3: our relationship with one another, and they learned about, you know,

345
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 3: my life as a psychic medium, and they were like,

346
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 3: you know, this would be an incredible TV show to

347
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,920
Speaker 3: you know, see all parts of it, just not you

348
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 3: as a medium, but also you with your girlfriend, and

349
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,800
Speaker 3: you were with your families, and you know how you

350
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,240
Speaker 3: interact with one another. So next thing, you know, meet

351
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,120
Speaker 3: the Phrasius was born.

352
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 6: Well, it's very different. I don't think there's a psychic

353
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 6: pageant Italian like show.

354
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 2: I mean, you got a lot of places to go here.

355
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,360
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just a producer's dream I can imagine.

356
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,920
Speaker 1: Well no, that's what I love about it though, too,

357
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 1: because it's not just I mean, it's not just about

358
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,600
Speaker 1: about you. It's it's about the family, it's about the relationship,

359
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,520
Speaker 1: it's about it, it's all of that. So you're able

360
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,520
Speaker 1: to not just see the readings, but to see everything

361
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,680
Speaker 1: that goes on in y'all's life as well. So I

362
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 1: think that's a cool new approach. Well, how did they

363
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,720
Speaker 1: how did they find you? What were you doing to

364
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,680
Speaker 1: kind of put that out in the universe? Were you

365
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 1: telling the dead people to talk to E like, were

366
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,080
Speaker 1: you well, I going to remember.

367
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,880
Speaker 3: That before before the TV show, you know, I was

368
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,920
Speaker 3: out touring, so I had sold out events across the country.

369
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,280
Speaker 3: I had a two year waiting list for private readings

370
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,520
Speaker 3: before the TV show came about, so, you know, and

371
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 3: Alexa was Miss Rhode Island teen, USA twenty seventeen.

372
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 1: Yeah she was, Yes, she was, Yes, she was.

373
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 4: So you know, I was doing my thing, she was

374
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:11,960
Speaker 4: doing her things.

375
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 3: So, you know, I never really feel like, you know,

376
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,959
Speaker 3: I've gotten many calls over the years of different production

377
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 3: companies wanting to do a TV show with me. And

378
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 3: in the beginning, you know, I've gotten calls like to

379
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,640
Speaker 3: do shows like about finding you know, missing and murdered children,

380
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 3: and that just wasn't that to me was like too sad.

381
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 3: They wanted me to you know, to go into haunted

382
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 3: houses and you know talk to you know, spirits and

383
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,080
Speaker 3: haunted houses, and I didn't want to do that. I

384
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 3: wanted to do something that was going to help people,

385
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,880
Speaker 3: you know, showcase what I did on a daily basis,

386
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,600
Speaker 3: but also have my family involved as well. So when

387
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 3: I got a call and they said, listen, we just

388
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,720
Speaker 3: we don't want to we don't want to script anything.

389
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 3: We just want to, you know, have you be you

390
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,680
Speaker 3: and do a show just about you and your life.

391
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,159
Speaker 3: I was in, I was signed up, and I was

392
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:51,679
Speaker 3: ready to go.

393
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,440
Speaker 2: That's awesome. So before we talk more about the show,

394
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,679
Speaker 2: what's y'all story? Like, how did you guys meet? How

395
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 2: long y'all been together and all that fun the stuff.

396
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 4: Well, this a real story, that's a fake story.

397
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 6: Yes, so I'll just give you that.

398
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 4: I have the real one, honey, now, honey, yes, I do.

399
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,040
Speaker 3: Okay, she'll tell you that. All right, Fine, go ahead, Okay,

400
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 3: I'll just have my turn. So that's okay.

401
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:18,160
Speaker 6: Well, well, according to you, you were scrolling on Instagram

402
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 6: one night at eleven pm, true with the cats land bed,

403
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,119
Speaker 6: and I guess I posted a picture or selfie of

404
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 6: some sort and you were like, ooh, ooh.

405
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,000
Speaker 4: I didn't know what I was. How do you know

406
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,719
Speaker 4: what I was was? Are you a psychic?

407
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 6: I'm just guessing.

408
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 4: Oh, okay, you're like ooh.

409
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 6: And then you followed me, even though you don't think

410
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 6: you did. I don't know how you messed that up.

411
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,399
Speaker 6: The lives start to come in and you followed me.

412
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,640
Speaker 2: The screens are sensitive Okay, Matt just accidentally hit it. It

413
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,920
Speaker 2: wasn't purposeful. I got your back, man, I got in

414
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:50,400
Speaker 2: right that.

415
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:50,720
Speaker 3: I know.

416
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,159
Speaker 6: It's one of those things. Don't like it, don't like

417
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 6: it to scroll, don't exactly, but you liked it, and you,

418
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,200
Speaker 6: you know, messaged me and basically you said, congratulations on

419
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,080
Speaker 6: you know, your title and what you're doing, doing great things.

420
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, it gets better, it gets better. Tell the line.

421
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:05,719
Speaker 4: Tell the line.

422
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 6: Oh yes, he loves this line. I didn't know I was.

423
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 4: Being shut up? Are you kidding me right now? You're

424
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 4: laughing at my life.

425
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 6: I just didn't know I was being followed by an

426
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,160
Speaker 6: Instagram star. Let me buy you a cup of coffee?

427
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and that's it.

428
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 2: Signal delivered.

429
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 4: It was like that. That call to action was on point,

430
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 4: like it got you to that coffee shop.

431
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,880
Speaker 6: So I was. I did, but I was a half

432
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,160
Speaker 6: hour late. And now let me.

433
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 3: Tell my side, because I says, I'm trying my hardest

434
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,920
Speaker 3: to contain myself and I really can't, like I want

435
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,120
Speaker 3: to just bust with this my You know what.

436
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 6: My favorite part is when you talk about when I

437
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 6: walked into the coffee shop. Let's do that.

438
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 4: No, because you don't want to bet that back. Okay.

439
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 3: So here's the thing, Jana, Okay, here's what here's here's

440
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 3: what happened. Okay, So she says, she says to me,

441
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 3: I never followed you. You know you followed me. Blah

442
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah blah blah. She was definitely a

443
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 3: follower beforehand.

444
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 6: That's number one to know who you were.

445
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that is the biggest lie.

446
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,400
Speaker 2: This is literally like episode one of Me the Frasiers,

447
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 2: and I love it.

448
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 3: Okay, listen, this is this is what happened. I'm like

449
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 3: so upset right now. I'm getting all hot and bob

450
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 3: and my nipple, my nipples a sweat. And it's because

451
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 3: here's what happened. So she how could you not know

452
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 3: somebody who's verified, who has a blue check mark on

453
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,400
Speaker 3: the instruct.

454
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 1: Pause, pause, pause, I'm going to defend my girl just

455
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 1: for a second. Michael and I met on Twitter. He

456
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 1: had a blue check mark. I had no idea who

457
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 1: he was. He followed me a lie.

458
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 4: I can't accept it, Mike, I can't.

459
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 1: Accept So I had no I didn't know who he was. Yes,

460
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: he had a blue check mark, which is why I

461
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 1: then looked at the message because I'm like, okay, right,

462
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna now look, but I didn't know he was.

463
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 1: I saw that he was all.

464
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 2: About a blue check mark. Because of that, I have

465
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 2: my wife. If I didn't have that, this would not

466
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 2: be happening.

467
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 1: So I'm just saying, I'm with my girl here that

468
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 1: she maybe didn't know who you were.

469
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 6: Yes, because you know what, I'm young, so he's a

470
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 6: psychic medium. I'm young.

471
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 5: You know.

472
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 6: I feel like your age demography is a little bit older,

473
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 6: only because those people are old, you know what I mean, Like,

474
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 6: but you know, like they've lost people, they've lost, you know,

475
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 6: so I'm a little bit younger. I think you didn't

476
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 6: lose anybody.

477
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 3: You didn't read the headline that said world's renowned psychic medium.

478
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 3: You didn't you tell me you didn't see that.

479
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 6: I did not know what psychic was. And you know

480
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 6: that because I asked you really dumb questions at the

481
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:14,960
Speaker 6: coffee shop.

482
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 4: Oh, you just pretending to be dumb.

483
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 6: No, this is I don't pretend I'm.

484
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 3: Getting out of this conversation. Is that if you have

485
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 3: a blue check mark, basically that is like that, that

486
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 3: is like real life. That is like that is like

487
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 3: the we need like one on that, like for plenty

488
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 3: of fish, Like we need like a blue check mark

489
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 3: on plenty of fish.

490
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 1: That's why they have that's they have the ray of

491
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: dating app now because everyone's basically a blue check mark

492
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: and RAYA or Raya or whatever.

493
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 4: That yaa, that's amazing.

494
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: It's like a dating app for celebrities and people that

495
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: pretty much only have a blue check mark.

496
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 4: Oh God, bless Yeah, how long is this?

497
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 6: We need that?

498
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 2: But how long ago is this? How long has this

499
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 2: been going on?

500
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 6: Three and a half years?

501
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: Where's the ring?

502
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,160
Speaker 6: Oh? Thank you?

503
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 5: Question?

504
00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 4: Why am I only show right?

505
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 2: I want to see?

506
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 4: I feel a bus running over God?

507
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 6: Okay, it's not only me mark, because Jerry Springer real quick,

508
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 6: well answer the question. You were just asked the question

509
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 6: that you didn't answer.

510
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 4: So I bought her a promise ring that she's got on.

511
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 1: A promise ring? Are we in high school?

512
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 4: You know? When did this become the roast of me?

513
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 4: When did this become the most of me?

514
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 1: Like we're not talking Cubic Zirconian baby like promise ring.

515
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 4: We all got those back in the day. I feel

516
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 4: like I got one, like I feel like.

517
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 3: When you're back in school and like the kids make

518
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 3: fun of you and then like they they like, that's

519
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,439
Speaker 3: probably never happened to Mike because you know he's you know,

520
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 3: he was very athletic.

521
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 4: I wasn't.

522
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,959
Speaker 3: But you know when they when they when they when

523
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,919
Speaker 3: they form like the circle around you and it's not

524
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 3: like the answering you. Yeah, yeah, that's me right now

525
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 3: over the Okay, Oh, I'm so happy because maybe it

526
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 3: takes that.

527
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 1: Wait, well can I can?

528
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:52,199
Speaker 5: I can?

529
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 1: I ask? Like, so what is it? Because you know,

530
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 1: obviously our our podcast we talk about relationships and kind

531
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: of our struggles. What's what's the biggest struggle in y'alls reallylationship?

532
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: And maybe you know why you know, what are not?

533
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: What are you waiting for? Because a lot of like

534
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: my girlfriend just is about to get married after six

535
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: years of waiting for the ring, but it's you know,

536
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 1: is there something in your marriage that are you scared?

537
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: Are you nervous? Or what is it like? And also

538
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: what's the biggest kind of riff?

539
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 4: Yes, I can, I can tell you that.

540
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 3: So the thing is is that Alexim and I have

541
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 3: an age different, so we're seven years apart, which.

542
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 6: I I'm twenty one, he's twenty eight, which I love.

543
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 4: Also six years a pot.

544
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 3: Sorry I failed math, but anyway, six year has a pot.

545
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 3: I But you know, the thing is is that she

546
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 3: also I don't want her to have to look back

547
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 3: and say like I regret it anything like. I want

548
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 3: her to also have, you know, the freedom of being

549
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,959
Speaker 3: able to do the Miss Rhode Island USA pageant.

550
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 4: I want her to be right, you can't.

551
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 6: Be married, you can't be engaged, like you can't do

552
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 6: any of that because.

553
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 4: I don't want to.

554
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to take away her dreams and her goals,

555
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 3: you know, I want her to have that. I want

556
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,719
Speaker 3: her to be able to have it all because you know,

557
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 3: I'm older, I'm not going anywhere.

558
00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 4: I love her.

559
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 3: But at the same time, I want her to be

560
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 3: able to have that to do the competition this year.

561
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 3: I want her to be able to, you know, end

562
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 3: that chapter of her life and then be able to

563
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 3: move forward with you know, getting engaged and whatnot the

564
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 3: way it should be, because I don't think that you

565
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 3: should have to choose. I don't think that you should

566
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 3: have to say, well, you know what, I'm going to

567
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 3: get engaged by I can't do this goal or I

568
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 3: can't do this dream.

569
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 4: You know, I want her to be able to have

570
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:18,880
Speaker 4: it all.

571
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, you've been very respectful of that. And he does

572
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,959
Speaker 6: tell me sung too.

573
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: But I hate when people that are young they're like,

574
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean that, you know, I can't get married.

575
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, not at all. It's just but

576
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 1: you are still so young, so it's you know, there

577
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,360
Speaker 1: is no true rush right now. It's not like you're

578
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: in your thirties and your ovaries are you know, no.

579
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 6: Write that biological clock. And my mom reminds me of that.

580
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: Like when I met Mike, I was like I was

581
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 1: thirty and I was like, you don't get it. Like

582
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, we can wait like five years. I

583
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 1: was like, you basically just put a death sentence on

584
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: my ovarreas she's like, a are getting married?

585
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it. I love it.

586
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 6: No, but it's true. And we are a little bit different.

587
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 4: You know.

588
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 6: We don't drink, we don't club, we don't go out,

589
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 6: we don't you know, do stuff like that. And I

590
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 6: like want to be a mother so badly. I want

591
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 6: to be a wife so badly, and I always have

592
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,719
Speaker 6: have wanted that you know at a young age. I've

593
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 6: always been a little bit more mature for my age.

594
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 6: You know, all my friends were kind of smoking, drinking,

595
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 6: you know, out and about. I was like at home

596
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 6: doing homework, like washing the dishes or like whatever. And

597
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 6: I still love that now. So I do think it's

598
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 6: the age. But you tell me all the time. Listen,

599
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 6: if you were I don't know, twenty two, twenty three, whatever,

600
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 6: and when we first met, you would have like had

601
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,719
Speaker 6: a ring on my face. We knew as soon as

602
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 6: we saw each other.

603
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: But I love that you're respecting to you know, her

604
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: journey and the things that you know that she wants to.

605
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: So I think that's amazing and makes a good partner

606
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: out of you. But I know some We've had a

607
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: few mediums and psychics on the show, and my husband

608
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 1: here is probably one of the biggest skeptics out there

609
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: because he's what is it?

610
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 4: Why do we get thrown on the bus over here?

611
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 4: It's always it's always.

612
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 2: Us, amen against the world. Right now, I'm like, I don't.

613
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I think this is why because I've

614
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: had experience with mediums and psychics where I really truly

615
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 1: believed it and I felt it, but I don't think

616
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: he's had that experience before. I don't feel like he's

617
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 1: had that. Ah wow, this is really.

618
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 3: Oh wait a minute, Wait a minute, because I have

619
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 3: a soul coming through that passed the tragedy with you, Mike.

620
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 3: When I'm connecting and did you lose something in the

621
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 3: car accident or the car crash here in the physical.

622
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 2: I can neither confirm nor deny.

623
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: Yes you can, Michael.

624
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 4: He's stepping forward.

625
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 3: He was a brother here in the physical world when

626
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 3: I'm connecting with him. Say that again, he was like

627
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 3: a brother here in the physical world when I'm connecting

628
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 3: with him, because he's telling me, like, I wasn't supposed

629
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,479
Speaker 3: to die like this. And he tells me when I'm

630
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 3: speaking to him that there was also bad decisions that

631
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 3: were made before he got in the vehicle that day,

632
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 3: because he's acknowledging that. So that was a friend of yours.

633
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: So no, that he's stepping forward because when I'm connecting

634
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 3: with him, he says to me, you know, can you

635
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 3: just let him know that I'm okay. And it's funny

636
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 3: because when I'm speaking to him on the other side,

637
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 3: like he thinks this is so cool that he can

638
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 3: speak to a medium right now when I'm connecting with him.

639
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 3: But he was a party animal here in the physical world.

640
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 3: When I'm connecting with him, like, he shows me that

641
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 3: he was like always out and about. He actually got

642
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 3: in trouble with the police. He's telling me where was

643
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: the police issues with him?

644
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 2: I didn't know about those if he had any.

645
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 3: Oh, that's both because when I'm connecting with him, he's

646
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 3: showing me like that there was always issues with his car,

647
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 3: Like I feel like that he either got a duy

648
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 3: or like there was issues like that, because he's acknowledging

649
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 3: that to me. And it was so unfortunate about the

650
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: way that he passed because he says to me when

651
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 3: I'm connecting with him, like, I don't he talks about

652
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 3: not supposed to be driving, So I don't know if

653
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 3: they took turns driving or if somebody else like took

654
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 3: the wheel. But he's acknowledging that to me when I'm

655
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 3: speaking to him.

656
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: Right now, say the story, Michael, come on, how could

657
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: you not like, hello.

658
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 4: That's you.

659
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: And sand that give the guy with the credit.

660
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 4: That's I'm on. I don't care because me the credit

661
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 4: or not listen, I hear and see them.

662
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: You know, they're they're always around me no matter where

663
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 3: I go, and he's just with you. And it's so

664
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: crazy because you know, this is what I mean when

665
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: I do this, Like I don't have to ask any

666
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 3: questions because I already know because he's here chirping in

667
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: my ear when I'm connecting. You know, I'm always hearing them,

668
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 3: I'm always sensing them, and you know, when I'm connecting

669
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: with him, he's also telling me about all the things

670
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 3: that we've done a memory of him, because he even

671
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 3: tells me there were shirts that were made or shirts

672
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 3: that we've done a memory of him here in the

673
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 3: physical world when I'm connecting with him, and he just

674
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 3: wants to thank everybody for that. So no, it's his

675
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 3: way of just bringing that up. And he also says

676
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 3: to me, because you talk about he's it's so funny.

677
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 3: He telling me about like a brotherhood tattoo. So was

678
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 3: everyone was supposed to get a tattoo a memory of him, not.

679
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 2: That I know of, maybe maybe some other some other

680
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 2: friends of his, but I wasn't included in that. But

681
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 2: uh no, I mean this as much as I as

682
00:28:53,080 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 2: reluctant as in situations like this, I will say, you know,

683
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 2: I had a friend that I grew up with who

684
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 2: was like a brother to me, that died in a

685
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: car accident a month before his eighteenth birthday. He was

686
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 2: in the passenger seat and the kid who was driving lived.

687
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 2: My buddy did not. And uh, I used to go

688
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 2: to his grave every time I was home from college break.

689
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 2: Anytime I was back home, I'd always go see him.

690
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 2: For years, I did that until I moved.

691
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 3: Every Well, he says that everybody did because wh I'm

692
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: connected with him. You're telling me this, and he's showing

693
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 3: me beer bottles at his grave. People used to go

694
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 3: and drink with him at his grave or like leave

695
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 3: beer bottles at the grave.

696
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 2: Some of the other people he was close with as

697
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: we got older were I could definitely see them being

698
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: the ones that did that for sure. Yeah, so cute.

699
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: That's damn okay. I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

700
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: And people, our listeners have heard me shut down most

701
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 2: other people we've had on the show with the gift

702
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 2: like yours. So I appreciate that.

703
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 3: Though, Listen, I get shut down every day no matter

704
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 3: where I go. I deal with the hardest skeptics. I mean,

705
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 3: I didn't get a TV show by being wrong. Let

706
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 3: me tell you, I have to you know, that's why

707
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 3: I don't.

708
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 4: I don't ask. I'm different than other mediums there.

709
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 3: You know, there are people out there that don't have

710
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 3: the gift of that don't have the ability. But I

711
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 3: don't have to ask questions because they just tell me,

712
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 3: so I'll know different details, are things like that that

713
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 3: happened with their passing. When I was connecting with your friend,

714
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 3: you know, there was even a question over who was

715
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: driving that night and if he should have drove, and

716
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 3: he was telling me all of these different things the

717
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 3: moment I was connecting with him. But also, you know,

718
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 3: he's stepping forward not because of the fact that he's

719
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 3: with me, it's because he's with you to let you

720
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 3: know that he's appreciating the ways that you still think

721
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 3: about him, the ways that you went to with his grave,

722
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: you know, the things that you did with him here

723
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 3: in the physical world, and you know he's bringing that through.

724
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 4: Wow. Oh and did you also, wait a minute, did

725
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 4: you also just lose a dog?

726
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 2: No, well, Jane, did.

727
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 3: There's a dog that's coming through to me and your

728
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: grandmother's here, Janna, So your grandmother?

729
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 4: So your grandmother departed?

730
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: No, mine, I've both grandma's right.

731
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 3: Then, this is this a woman that's stepping forward. It's

732
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 3: like a grandmother student that's stepping forward.

733
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: I have a great grandma.

734
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 3: Were you close with her though, Yeah, it had to

735
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 3: be somebody that you were close to.

736
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: She we were close for I mean yeah, we were close.

737
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: She passed like when I was like thirteen, No, ten, twelve,

738
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: hold on.

739
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 4: Wait a minute, I want to make sure. I want

740
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 4: to make sure there there's.

741
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: A lot of people in the room.

742
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 4: Wait a minute. I felt Wait a minute, hold on.

743
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 4: I don't know if I felt.

744
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 3: No, it's definitely with you because I saw I saw

745
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 3: this dog that's here with That's what this woman. I'm

746
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 3: just wondering if it was a grandmother or if it

747
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 3: was an aunt to you?

748
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: Oh, wrong side a dog? Hm hm, oh your aunt

749
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: and the dog is still there.

750
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 2: If a dog's so alive, well, I mean.

751
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: You know, I can mess up.

752
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 4: No, I only talked to dead people. It's definitely.

753
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 2: Jane gets a little bit of the string, its just

754
00:31:59,040 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 2: starts pulling it.

755
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, she was just excited.

756
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 6: I'm the same way. I'm the same I'm like, ah, yes, okay.

757
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 2: So I was going to ask you, Alexa, when you

758
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 2: guys first met, were you already a believer in this

759
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 2: kind of gift or were you skeptical at all?

760
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 6: I was a believer. I am into all of that stuff.

761
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 3: Well, tell about that first date, Tell them what happened,

762
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 3: because I have to, like, Mike needs to know this.

763
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 4: Means anybody needs to know. It's Mike needs to know this.

764
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 4: It's so important.

765
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 6: So fortunately I've only lost my grammy knock on wood.

766
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 6: You know, we don't want any of that. So but

767
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 6: I was very close to her, and she passed when

768
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 6: I was younger, and in my family we have like

769
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 6: this little pouch of like her prayer beads and little

770
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 6: crosses and things, and whenever someone in our family needs it,

771
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 6: we take it. So we kind of pass it around.

772
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 6: And at the time that I met Matt, it was

773
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 6: actually in my wallet and I kept it hidden away,

774
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 6: like you know, in my way, in my purse. And

775
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 6: I actually put my purse like totally on the other table.

776
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 6: So we sat down, and of course, now I know,

777
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 6: like how annoying listened to you, But I was like

778
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 6: who do you see behind me? And I wasn't expecting anything.

779
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 6: And he was like, oh, he's like you have your

780
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,239
Speaker 6: grammy that passed. She's literally right here with you. And

781
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 6: I was like what and he's like yeah, he's like

782
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 6: where's her preabes? Like what don't you guys like have

783
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 6: something that you all pass around and blah blah blah.

784
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 6: And I was like, oh my god, and I have anxiety.

785
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 6: So I started like seeing black the cold sweats from

786
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 6: like my head to my toes.

787
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 4: Like jar, oh god, okay, so she had to untant.

788
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 6: I like went and I'm like holy like he's so

789
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 6: on point. Oh my god, Oh my god.

790
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you ran out. I did it, ran out,

791
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 3: And I didn't think she was gonna run back in.

792
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 3: I was like, I was like an Ash's I had

793
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 3: my head in the sand. I didn't know what the

794
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 3: hell to do.

795
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: I was.

796
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 6: So I was like, oh my god, like I'm literally

797
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 6: going to pass out in front of my date right now.

798
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 3: But the good news this is that see I I

799
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,479
Speaker 3: used to be the I used to be the e

800
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 3: m T see. So if she would have if she

801
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 3: would have she would have passed out, I would have.

802
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 6: Revived her if she died, were to talk to her, yeah,

803
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 6: I said, every day.

804
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 4: But it's true. I would have you know, if you

805
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 4: was a cute thing.

806
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 5: It's a cute thing.

807
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 4: It's not a cute thing. It's the truth.

808
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you passed out, I'd revive if you died,

809
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 3: I would talk to you because I'm a medium and

810
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 3: I can do that.

811
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 6: I was shocked on that day three and a half

812
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 6: years ago, and still to this day.

813
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 1: You shocked me.

814
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 6: Every single day. You floor me. I cry over the readings.

815
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 6: I get chills over the readings. His new book came out,

816
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:28,879
Speaker 6: and read the book, I'm like crying.

817
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 3: The book When Heaven Calls Life Lessons from America's top

818
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 3: psychic medium.

819
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, well everyone Amazon right now When Heaven Calls.

820
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, you can pre order on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

821
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: When was the first experience that you had like that

822
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: you knew that you had this gift?

823
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,760
Speaker 3: So it's so crazy because my grandmother was a medium

824
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 3: who passed it on to my mom and then in

825
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: turn passed it on to maybe. You gotta remember that

826
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 3: back in the day, you know, nobody talked about this.

827
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: My grandmother didn't do this professionally. My mom didn't do

828
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 3: this professionally. It was something that was kept close to home,

829
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 3: just for close friends and family members. And it was

830
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 3: so secret that not even my grandmother told my grandfather

831
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:08,720
Speaker 3: that she could do that, shed even tell her own husband,

832
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 3: so you know, it was kept a very secret, you know,

833
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 3: just for close friends and family. And then when I

834
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 3: was growing up, I too was seeing and hearing the departed.

835
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 3: It started with me seeing my grandmother that had passed

836
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 3: the psychic one. She passed when I was three, and

837
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 3: when she first died, I was still seeing and experiencing her.

838
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 3: I never realized that she actually died. But then after that,

839
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 3: other souls came in trying to talk to me. And

840
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 3: it was so crazy because you know, growing up and

841
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 3: seeing and hearing the departed, it wasn't comforting to me.

842
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 4: I was scared.

843
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,399
Speaker 3: I was literally like living that movie the sixth Sense,

844
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 3: Like I remember like pulling the covers over my head,

845
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 3: pulling you know, the pillows up to my ears. I

846
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: didn't want to hear, see or experience them. And that

847
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 3: so I spent most of my life running from this.

848
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 3: And I never wanted to be a psychic. I never

849
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 3: wanted to be a medium. And that's what people don't

850
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: understand is that, you know, I started my career as

851
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 3: an EMT. I had a wonderful career working at the

852
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 3: World Trade Center and boss, and you know, I was

853
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 3: going to be I wanted to be a paramedic and

854
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: then physician's assistant. And then I went to see a

855
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 3: medium for the first time, and it changed my life

856
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 3: because you know, I wanted to at that moment. I

857
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 3: wanted to see what it was that I kept running

858
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 3: away from, and seeing a medium for the first time

859
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 3: showed me it wasn't something that I had to be

860
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 3: afraid of. It was something that could help use and

861
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 3: teach others that there's so much more to life than

862
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,240
Speaker 3: what's here in the physical world.

863
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 4: So I started to be open about this.

864
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 3: I started to you know, read for close friends and

865
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 3: family members like my grandmother did back in the day.

866
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 4: And then I don't know what happened.

867
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, word traveled quickly about the one

868
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 3: who could speak to the dead, And here I am

869
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 3: with you.

870
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 4: Now.

871
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: Are you able to turn it off? Though?

872
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 5: No?

873
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 4: Never, No, you say that like it's a bad thing.

874
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 6: It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing.

875
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 6: But I feel bad for you.

876
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 3: Sometimes I feel bad for myself because there's no customer

877
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 3: service hours.

878
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 4: I have no customer service hours in heaven. Like they

879
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 4: just call up any time.

880
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 6: Yeah they do.

881
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 2: All right, So let me hear one thing before we

882
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 2: let you guys go. Well, it's like your elevator pitch

883
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 2: to get people to watch the show. And what can

884
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,720
Speaker 2: they get? What can they expect an elevator pitch?

885
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 6: Oh my oh, what's an elevator?

886
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 2: Basically eleven second? If you had eleven seconds to pitch

887
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 2: somebody your company and your brand or your business or

888
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 2: your show, what would you say?

889
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 3: All right, So I'm a psychic medium, might have a

890
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,919
Speaker 3: pageant queen girlfriend Alexa, Papa Jonas. We have two loud,

891
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 3: crazy Italian families. We live in Cranston, Rhode Island without

892
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 3: three Bengal cats. And if you think the dead is scary,

893
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 3: just meet my family.

894
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:30,399
Speaker 1: I love it. Everybody watch Ninth Central on e Love

895
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 1: you guys so much, Thank you so much for coming

896
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 1: on the show. We really appreciate it.

897
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you again. Check out Meet the Frasers every

898
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: Monday ONNY. I mean, if there shows anything like the interview,

899
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 2: it's going to be entertaining.

900
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: She's so sweet. I really like her, She's cute.

901
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 2: I didn't really she was twenty one, definitely, I saw

902
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 2: in the rundown that she was.

903
00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 1: I was like, I did not see that.

904
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 2: She did not ask or present herself as a twenty

905
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 2: one Nothing against twenty one year olds, but us being

906
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 2: significantly older than that. Yeah, it's it was very surprising.

907
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 1: Agreed she Yeah, she just really holds herself.

908
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

909
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that kind of shocked me.

910
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 5: So Mike, does this change your opinion at all?

911
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 1: I'm dude, come on, you at has to that one.

912
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: No one's brought that up.

913
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: No, they have, and that's something that nobody would know.

914
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 2: So I give him credit where credits due. You know,

915
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:36,479
Speaker 2: something still felt fish like fishing when he's like, yeah,

916
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 2: fishing for like the alcohol piece or you know, partying.

917
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 2: But the biggest things for me was, yeah he was,

918
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 2: but I'm saying that he made some bad decisions that

919
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 2: they like, I felt like he was trying to figure

920
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 2: out if it or like he had a dui. He

921
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 2: never had a dui as far as I knew, But

922
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 2: so something seemed like fishing. But still there were enough

923
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 2: things where that really interest me, especially when it came

924
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: down to you know, he wasn't sure if he should

925
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 2: be driving or not driving, the fact that he was

926
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,760
Speaker 2: the passenger. So there are some things that definitely uh.

927
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 1: Like how would he know that? That's such a random

928
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: and it's not like a gram or Grandpa passing. I mean,

929
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 1: that's that was a friend of yours that died in

930
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: a car accident. That's to this day, you've talked to

931
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 1: me about it, no one else. Well, you know that

932
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: at least on the podcast, that it's affected you and

933
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 1: you still think of him. You can't even listen to

934
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: a song.

935
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 2: That's true. There's a song I still cannot listen to

936
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 2: to this day because that was like our jam.

937
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: But he knows that you're thinking of That's so sweet.

938
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's that is pretty cool. I will

939
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 2: say that.

940
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 5: Wait, you did talk about this in the podcast once

941
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 5: I talked about ever Last.

942
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I talked about the song, so yeah I

943
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 2: have talked about yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have talked

944
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 2: about him. See, so maybe he did his research.

945
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 5: Mark, come on, I always feel like there's a logical

946
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,439
Speaker 5: explanation for these things. Although Easton at a very very

947
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 5: odd situation with the Long Island Medium where she knew

948
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 5: something that I had no idea about Easton and nobody

949
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 5: else know about Easton.

950
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 1: What.

951
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, we had Teresa Caputa of the Long

952
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 7: Island Medium on with Ryan Seacrest one morning and I

953
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 7: was like filling in as an engineer, you know, at

954
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 7: this other studio, and so there's no way of her

955
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,839
Speaker 7: knowing that I was going to be there, but she

956
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 7: she was like, oh, someone in this room had a

957
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 7: like a lost a friend to a drowning accident, and

958
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 7: and I I had lost one of my close friends

959
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 7: like a year earlier, and it I was I'm totally

960
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 7: a skeptic. And so by the time I came out

961
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 7: of that, because she got a couple of things wrong,

962
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 7: but mostly it was pretty accurate, I was like, Okay,

963
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 7: she either it's either the real deal or she has

964
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 7: the best researchers on the face of the planet. And

965
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 7: that's impressive too, you know, because like.

966
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 2: Either way, it's impressive, you know, like like either they.

967
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 7: Have like CIA levels of like researchers and and their

968
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 7: talents are being grossly misused.

969
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to go with that it's real and that

970
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: because I don't want to believe that someone's that Connie,

971
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: you know, to like to do that, especially when people

972
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: can really get some healing and some validation and some

973
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 1: love from it. Now, you know, obviously they're going to say,

974
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: like you said, they're going to say a few things wrong.

975
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: But I think it's the the fact that he did

976
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 1: get that so right too. Sure there may be pieces

977
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: that may be wrong, and.

978
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 2: Maybe that's that's the expectation I have because I'm such

979
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 2: a skeptic. It's like, I need you to tell me

980
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 2: their name. If they're talking to you, they can tell

981
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 2: you their name, exactly where they were, how it happened.

982
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 2: Like that's where that's where my skeptical brain.

983
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: Goes that they're just as spirits.

984
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 2: All right, Well, they're still talking to them.

985
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: That is a good point. Actually, shoot, that actually is

986
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 1: a really good point.

987
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 5: If they could say a car accident, right, they can

988
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 5: say all that stuff, They could say their name.

989
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: Maybe when they say that they're talking to them, it's

990
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,320
Speaker 1: more of like images and a feeling.

991
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 2: Subjective. Anyways, I enjoyed their interview, I enjoyed their company.

992
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 1: Yeah they're fun. I'll watch it. Remind me of he

993
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 1: reminds me of Todd crisly, very just like out there

994
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: and fuel very unfiltered character.

995
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 5: So I have a word with my grandfather. If any

996
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 5: medium ever can tell me the word that I have

997
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 5: with my grandfather.

998
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 2: Then I'll buy it blueberry pancakes.

999
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 5: It's not the word.

1000
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 1: Ah wait, next time we have someone on we have

1001
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 1: to ask them. That would have been so good. Mark.

1002
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 5: Well, but that's the thing is, I don't even like,

1003
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 5: I don't even like queuing them up for that. I

1004
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 5: feel like, if it's legit, they'll just have it and

1005
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 5: they'll have the word.

1006
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're I mean, if you can just say that,

1007
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 2: there's no way they're gonna be able to guess the word.

1008
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: How many words are in the dictionary?

1009
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 4: That's true, that's true, but that'd be kind of crazy.

1010
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 2: I'm going to start guessing.

1011
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: I know, we're just going to start sounding like.

1012
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 2: Depending on how many years we have on this podcast

1013
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 2: in the future, every day is a new word. Our thing.

1014
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 5: Me and my grandpa. This was our thing, and there's

1015
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 5: no no And I know he would say it because

1016
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,920
Speaker 5: he almost when he was laying on his deathbed and

1017
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 5: like in convulsions, he kind of referenced this word so

1018
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 5: I know, what's the first word he would say if

1019
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 5: you were speaking to me, Oh, my heart?

1020
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 1: When did you lose him?

1021
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 5: I was about twenty and he's my only grandparent that

1022
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,439
Speaker 5: I was really close with. I had a hard time

1023
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 5: with that one. Yeah.

1024
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 2: Is it a single word?

1025
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 5: Oh my, it's a single word. It is one word. No, so.

1026
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:56,439
Speaker 1: Heart.

1027
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 2: Oh that's so sweet though, those are the words a

1028
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 2: woman would think.

1029
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: Hey, what would you think of lego? Yeah?

1030
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, something like that.

1031
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 6: My lego?

1032
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 2: Who would you think of something? Not what you're saying?

1033
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 2: Probably Mark.

1034
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: Do we have any emails?

1035
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 5: Selene needs some help? So these are that's the kind

1036
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 5: of serious, which makes sense after last week's episode that

1037
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,399
Speaker 5: the emails are kind of serious. This week, she said,

1038
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 5: I've been with my husband for over three years now.

1039
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 5: He's a recovering drug addict. I found out about his

1040
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,439
Speaker 5: addiction when I was newly pregnant with our son about

1041
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 5: two years ago. He's relapsed a few times, and every

1042
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 5: time it's completely apologetic and remorseful. Every time I say

1043
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 5: I'm done that I'll not put up with his addiction

1044
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 5: around our son. And he doesn't think that he needs

1045
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 5: rehab and that it's something he will stop because he

1046
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 5: wants our family together. So we've agreed for me to

1047
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 5: do random drug tests when I'm feeling insecure about his sobriety.

1048
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 5: He's been clean for almost six months now, but I

1049
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 5: don't want to continue to live in constant fear. Every

1050
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 5: time I ask him to take a drug test and

1051
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 5: it comes back clean, I feel horrible for not trusting him.

1052
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 5: I live every day with constant anxiety of finding out

1053
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 5: he's been using. Listening to your podcasts every week, hearing

1054
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 5: how both of you are working through it gives me

1055
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 5: the faith that we, too can be happy and work

1056
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 5: this out. I love your podcast and love to hear

1057
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,360
Speaker 5: how much love you have for each other. Such an inspiration.

1058
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 2: Janna just gives me a little snap and okay, you're up.

1059
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 2: First of all, Selene, thank you for sharing. You know,

1060
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 2: our our hearts and empathy go out towards you and

1061
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 2: your family and what you're dealing with. What I would

1062
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 2: have to say, I can understand. Jane can speak more

1063
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: on this, but I can understand how you how you

1064
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 2: would feel, or how she would feel like horrible after

1065
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 2: the drug test comes back clean and she feels bad

1066
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: for not trusting him. Having said that if he's willing

1067
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 2: to do that. You know, Jane, again, we'll speak on this.

1068
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:58,760
Speaker 2: That's a tangible thing where if he's not grunting and growing,

1069
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,919
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, you got it. You know, I feel

1070
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 2: like a kid. I feel like I'm being controlled all

1071
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 2: the things that I would say in the past about

1072
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 2: You know, what Janna needed is if he's willing to

1073
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 2: do that, then use it and try to maybe talk

1074
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 2: about it with him, tell him your fears around it,

1075
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: but maybe find a way just to do some therapy

1076
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 2: work around it, to discuss it with him, just a

1077
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,720
Speaker 2: way to look at it differently than you know, living

1078
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 2: with that fear and anxiety. But again I can empathize

1079
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 2: with every time you're waiting to get that test back,

1080
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 2: you're probably terrified, absolutely terrified, praying that it's not going

1081
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 2: to be positive. So I think again, if he has

1082
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 2: a positive attitude about it, I think that's great because

1083
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: that's something tangible that he can give you, which is

1084
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 2: something that is difficult for me to give. Janna. I'm assuming,

1085
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 2: because she says she feels horrible for not trusting him

1086
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,400
Speaker 2: when it comes back clean, I'm assuming that his attitude

1087
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:02,799
Speaker 2: towards it is probably pretty decent, So that's the biggest thing.

1088
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 2: Guess we're assuming his attitude is positive because she doesn't

1089
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 2: allude to it not being that way. So I'm hoping

1090
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 2: that's the case. And if that's the case, that's why

1091
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 2: I'm saying use it as a tool. If it's not

1092
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 2: the case, then that's something else to discuss, because I

1093
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 2: can understand even more so, while you'd have so much

1094
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 2: for your anxiety, if he's given a shit about it.

1095
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 1: It's just so tricky. And even when you had said

1096
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: that one thing, like you wish you had tangibility. I

1097
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 1: think that sometimes where even I can get sometimes a

1098
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: little envious of because that would be something that she

1099
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: can hold on to at least knowing that he's not.

1100
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 1: And there's no I can't drug test you or ethan

1101
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 1: lie detective test you. But that's not even accurate because.

1102
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,840
Speaker 2: It's not as black and white as drugs and alcohol.

1103
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 2: So's there's too much gray area.

1104
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and with a drug test, it's you know, here's

1105
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 1: the thing that at the end of the day, and this

1106
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: is where I can have empathy for her. It's we

1107
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,839
Speaker 1: don't want to have to do that, Like I don't

1108
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: want to have to do some of the boundaries that

1109
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 1: we do, because it's it's exhausting for us to have

1110
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: to sit there, and it's like, we just want to

1111
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: trust you, like why why do we have to do this?

1112
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 1: Because why can't you just be honest or stay in

1113
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: your program? And so I think it, at least from

1114
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: my experience, it's just it just gets so frustrating because

1115
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 1: you're like, we don't want to have to do it.

1116
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: And I love that you guys are willing to, you know,

1117
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 1: let us do these things, but it just gets so exhausting,

1118
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:40,320
Speaker 1: and that disgusting anxiety that comes up when she waits

1119
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: for it or when we check balances and stuff on

1120
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 1: a boundary list, it's just it's that waiting for the

1121
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: next shoe to drop and that you know that that's

1122
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 1: just like such an ugly, yucky place to live in,

1123
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: but at the same time you need it for safety.

1124
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 1: So it's like, I don't. I wish I had the

1125
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 1: right answer, you know, for for even her too, because

1126
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what I've maybe the balance

1127
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: of doing it like not obviously not every week or

1128
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: not every day, like maybe just do it where it's

1129
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: not I don't even the That's the thing, I don't

1130
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: even know, because no matter what, you're still going to

1131
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 1: have the anxiety. But hopefully, over time, when he starts

1132
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: proving to you that he's being honest and that he's

1133
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 1: staying in recovery, that that anxiety won't be there because

1134
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 1: you'll be expecting it to be negative because of how

1135
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 1: great he's acting and how much he's been able to

1136
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 1: change and grow and live in recovery. Yeah, so I

1137
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: think hopefully you just just think about it where it's like, Okay,

1138
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: in a year from now, I'm probably not going to

1139
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 1: be this heightened because he's gonna will have shown negative

1140
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 1: this entire time, and I can I can really start

1141
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 1: to trust him and build put the building blocks on

1142
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 1: there and put some stuff in the relationship bank.

1143
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my thoughts.

1144
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 5: This one is uh, it's titled Mike's Confidence, but it's

1145
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 5: really more for Janet from Andrea. She says about last week,

1146
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 5: I needed this episode. When I heard Mike say you

1147
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 5: can't truly love someone until you love yourself has struck

1148
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 5: a chord with me. My husband and I have been

1149
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 5: going through drug addiction issues that include ongoing lying justifications

1150
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 5: et cetera. We got to the happiest place in our

1151
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 5: marriage ever, and then two weeks later he relapsed. My

1152
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 5: question is, Jianna, how does it make you feel to

1153
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 5: see Mike love himself and be proud of himself. It

1154
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 5: sounds terrible, but I have moments where I'm mad that

1155
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 5: my husband has so much confidence in himself and pride

1156
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 5: because I'm just not there yet. I don't feel that

1157
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 5: way yet because of hurts, because of the relapse, because

1158
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 5: of the doubt. How do you handle Mike talking about

1159
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 5: all the good he's being and well he's doing it,

1160
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,919
Speaker 5: all these things. I don't want to keep my husband down.

1161
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 5: I want to be a cheerleader, but how can I

1162
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 5: truly do that with so many reservations? I love you, guys,

1163
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 5: Thank you for being so vulnerable. It helps more than

1164
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 5: I can put into words.

1165
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,839
Speaker 1: Was she in my therapy session of like let ago?

1166
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 2: What a great great topic?

1167
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:54,439
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1168
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: I know it's such a great topic because I remember,

1169
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 1: you know, when everything kind of happened with the boundary

1170
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 1: slips a month or so ago. You know, You're like,

1171
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna get healthy, and

1172
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, cool, like, you're doing all these

1173
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 1: steps to be healthy, and I'm just kind of sitting here,

1174
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: still angry and still and it's just we want to

1175
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 1: be happy for you. At the same time, I'm like,

1176
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 1: you just crapped all over my side of the street,

1177
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: and now I got to pick up your crap on

1178
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 1: my side of the street, and I got to pick

1179
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 1: up my stuff. So it's just like we just got

1180
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: we get dumped on twice, and we've got extra crap

1181
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 1: to clear out. And you know, I remember talking to

1182
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,720
Speaker 1: my therapists Amy being like I want to be happy

1183
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 1: for him, but I'm like I'm also looking at him

1184
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: being like, oh, you're so healed, and just being real,

1185
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 1: just nasty because I was hurt and I was like,

1186
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: how do you get to be happy when you keep

1187
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 1: hurting me and people? You know, we talked about comments earlier,

1188
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,359
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, you know why I've been disrespectful

1189
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 1: because you've given me no reason to trust you. You

1190
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 1: keep breaking it. How can I like, you know? And

1191
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: so it's like I go in that tailsp but I'm like,

1192
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 1: but you get to be cool and healthy. And that's

1193
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 1: when my therapist finally sat me down and she's like

1194
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 1: you have to stop focusing on him and his recovery

1195
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: and what he has to do for himself, like in

1196
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 1: what y'all's relationships. She's like, this is a this is

1197
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: your therapy session. We need to talk about you and

1198
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: how you are going to get healthy and what you

1199
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 1: need to do to be healthier and better and happier

1200
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 1: and lighter and more free. But it is hard to

1201
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 1: sometimes see, especially when you guys kind of puff out

1202
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 1: your chest and you're like this great new shining version,

1203
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: like shiny version, and I'm like, oh, buddy, like we've

1204
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 1: seen that version twenty times and try to like come

1205
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 1: out of different shells, you know, where it just becomes

1206
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:46,359
Speaker 1: we get we get sickest seeing the new shiny version

1207
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: that you keep saying is going to be there, and

1208
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 1: then it's never there, so then we don't respect that version,

1209
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 1: and then we start to become bitter, and it's just

1210
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: becomes that cycle. But that's where it's like my therapist too,

1211
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: is like over time, just continue to watch and see

1212
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:04,320
Speaker 1: if they can consistently stay that person, but then also

1213
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 1: ask them to help you, like lean in, you know,

1214
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,359
Speaker 1: what is something that they learned that you can help

1215
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: them lean into their recovery and your recovery as well.

1216
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:22,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, for sure, I have a few things.

1217
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 2: First of all, I can totally understand, like how that

1218
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 2: would be frustrating, infuriating at times and painful to see that.

1219
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 2: I think for our particular situation. The difference and you

1220
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,720
Speaker 2: can attest this or not. The way I feel about

1221
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:49,240
Speaker 2: it now is I think I've actually talked less about

1222
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 2: the changes I'm making than I have in the past. Sure,

1223
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 2: we're in the past, I like, which.

1224
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,800
Speaker 1: Is maybe why I believe it more because I'm seeing

1225
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 1: it as opposed to you saying what I'm what you're doing. Yeah,

1226
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,360
Speaker 1: you're not telling that what you're doing, you're doing.

1227
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 2: It right, I'm not. Yeah. And anytime I reference something

1228
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 2: like you know i've been talking about that book, I'm

1229
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 2: reading a lot just because.

1230
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 1: Mentioned the book, because I know you've really liked that

1231
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: a lot.

1232
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 2: I will, I'll get to that, but it's it's not

1233
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,760
Speaker 2: out of it's out of something that we're talking about,

1234
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 2: right to give an example. So I really feel like

1235
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 2: that's been a big difference for both of us. Right

1236
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 2: now is I feel myself just doing things and not

1237
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 2: looking to you to validate you to validate it or

1238
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 2: to acknowledge it. I'm not looking to you to be like, oh, wow,

1239
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 2: you really have been waking up at six and six

1240
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 2: in the morning every day doing your work. You really

1241
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 2: have been going to warment, you know.

1242
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: And you're doing it for you, not for me, not

1243
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 1: for me to like pat you on the back, good job.

1244
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. I haven't even needed that because

1245
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 2: I'm actually not doing it for you, which is a

1246
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 2: first for me. And so I get why in the

1247
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 2: past a lot of times you would when you're in

1248
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 2: a bad place and I'll be saying things, well, it'd be.

1249
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 1: The thirtieth it'd be the thirtieth book that you would

1250
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: have ordered from Amazon that you don't actually open up.

1251
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 1: So I'm like, what is that book gonna do? What

1252
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: about the twenty nine books that you say?

1253
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 2: It's like, there's stack of books on my nightstand and

1254
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 2: be like, honey, see all these books that I bought,

1255
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 2: like but haven't read anyways, But now, but yeah, my

1256
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 2: point is again now it's it's different than before because

1257
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 2: I think both of us can acknowledge that. Having said that,

1258
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,720
Speaker 2: part of the thing too is it might come across

1259
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 2: as us talking about it more because you or Andrea

1260
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 2: might be asking questions of for your safety, of what

1261
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:57,320
Speaker 2: are you doing different? What do you you know what

1262
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 2: I mean where especially early on, not now you're not

1263
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,919
Speaker 2: doing that, but for the first month, it was you're

1264
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 2: trying to grab onto something, You're trying to get something tangible,

1265
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 2: so you're asking a lot of questions. We're having a

1266
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 2: lot more discussions and talks about what it's going to

1267
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 2: look like.

1268
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because that's and that's something where I think

1269
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 1: men women we get in that struggle where if you've

1270
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: been hurt countless times, it's like, what do you have

1271
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 1: to hold on to when you've taken I won't do

1272
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: this again, I won't do this or this, and it's

1273
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 1: like what Okay, You're just like frantically searching for what

1274
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 1: to hold on to to see if you're actually going

1275
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,280
Speaker 1: to do it or not, and that this it's just time.

1276
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, ultimately it is. There's nothing you can say.

1277
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: But that's what we're thinking. We want you to say something,

1278
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,399
Speaker 1: but there's literally nothing you can say.

1279
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,879
Speaker 2: It's hard because you keep asking, you know, and we're

1280
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 2: saying the same thing over and over again. You're asking

1281
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 2: the same thing over and over again, like we're going

1282
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 2: to give you a different response, waiting to hear that

1283
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 2: magical word.

1284
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 1: But we want that so badly to give us hope.

1285
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 2: It's a crazy hope. Has just been speaking of crazy cycle.

1286
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 2: So Yanna mentioned this book that I'm reading, No this

1287
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 2: crazy cycle. There's this book I'm reading right now called

1288
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 2: Love and Respect by this author, Emerson Edgers. I think

1289
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 2: you said you say his last name. It's again. I'm

1290
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 2: not a big reader. I'm becoming one because I'm doing

1291
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 2: it more. The first ten pages of this book, I

1292
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 2: was just like already shaking my head giving some of

1293
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 2: those like church like mm, like you know, some of

1294
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 2: those like hand in the air, Like That's how I

1295
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 2: felt because it was just like telling our story of

1296
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 2: just like our interaction between husband and wife, and he

1297
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 2: talks about this crazy cycle, that that relationships, that marriages

1298
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: get on and everything. The ultimate underlying point of the

1299
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 2: book is love and respect. It's when it comes down

1300
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:51,960
Speaker 2: to it. What he's preaching is that women ultimately just

1301
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 2: want to feel loved at the end of the day.

1302
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 2: That is their most important thing. That is what they need.

1303
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 2: They need that attention, they need love, they need to

1304
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 2: feel chosen. They need that stuff. And for men, our

1305
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 2: biggest thing across the board, more so than not, is

1306
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 2: actually we have the need to feel respected. And I

1307
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 2: never really thought about it before, but I was like, oh,

1308
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 2: that is it. You know. When he has some polls

1309
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 2: in there, he referenced the Bible a lot, and it's

1310
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 2: just fascinating. I think one of them he asked a

1311
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 2: group of I don't know, a thousand men or something,

1312
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 2: would you rather be in a marriage that your wife

1313
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 2: loves you and doesn't respect you, or that respects you

1314
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 2: and doesn't love you. And it's like eighty one percent

1315
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 2: of men said they'd rather be in a loveless marriage

1316
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 2: as long as their wife respected them. And that means

1317
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 2: more to men in this guy's theory than love does.

1318
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 2: And there's obviously outsiders who will disagree and it doesn't

1319
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 2: impact him as much as love. But again, that's what

1320
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 2: he preaches, and it's about unconditionally respecting your husband and

1321
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 2: unconditionally loving your wife. And he uses the analogy of

1322
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 2: kind of like what came first to the chicken or

1323
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 2: the egg, So the wife wants to be like, well,

1324
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:05,919
Speaker 2: I'll love you if you or i'll respect you if you,

1325
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 2: you know, freaking love me. And the husband's like, well,

1326
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 2: I'll love you if you respect me. And that's what

1327
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 2: he calls the crazy cycle, because you're just waiting for

1328
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 2: the other person to do it, and so it's unconditionally thinking,

1329
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 2: in this moment, how can I love my wife in

1330
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 2: this moment? How can I respect my husband. It's an

1331
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 2: unbelievable book. I highly recommend it, even for all you

1332
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 2: non readers like me out there, go get it.

1333
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 6: I love it.

1334
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 5: I don't know how to answer that.

1335
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 2: What you just said, Mark, I love because he kind

1336
00:59:56,920 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: of references references that, and he says, men, that is

1337
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:04,960
Speaker 2: what we say if they ask. If someone asks us,

1338
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,439
Speaker 2: does your wife love you, we're like, yeah, of course

1339
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 2: she does. And then he'll also ask, but does your

1340
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 2: wife respect you? And to your exact point, you're like,

1341
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 2: I don't know if she necessarily does. And to your

1342
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 2: personal opinion, do you really care? To women? He has

1343
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 2: the same question, you know, does your husband respect you? Yeah,

1344
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 2: of course he respects me. But does your husband love you?

1345
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 2: I know, I don't really think he loves me, and

1346
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 2: so so you even saying that was kind of sparks

1347
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 2: my This guy's kind of belief behind it is because

1348
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 2: we just feel, Yeah, of course our wife loves us,

1349
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 2: they're married to us. That's enough for us. Again, I'm

1350
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 2: speaking in general terms, not everyone, but from his theory,

1351
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 2: that's enough for men to have enough love. This woman

1352
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 2: is willing to spend the rest of her life with me,

1353
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 2: that's love, all right.

1354
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 1: We'll stay tuned for next weekend.

1355
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 5: O h.