Speaker 1: You're just so in your own zone that you didn't
Speaker 1: care about the other people.
Speaker 2: You can say a lot of things about me and
Speaker 2: I do. I can't see I don't care.
Speaker 1: Behind your back? Behind your back? Can I say I've been.
Speaker 2: Watching a lot of viola or viola?
Speaker 1: Davis's is it viola or viola? Do you try to
Speaker 1: get she goes by v because that's what it starts with,
Speaker 1: she can go by vie.
Speaker 2: I think it's I think anyway, I've been watching her
Speaker 2: just like you know, be the best like actress ever
Speaker 2: and watching her and now you think.
Speaker 1: She's the best actress ever.
Speaker 2: She's up there, man, she's a amazing Can I also
Speaker 2: just tell you something just before we dive into Fired Up,
Speaker 2: which is, by the way, great episode. Totally forgot about
Speaker 2: this episode. Never laughed so much. One of my most
Speaker 2: mom moments happened with my mom. She called me. She
Speaker 2: was like, darling, my mom's British dning. Do you know
Speaker 2: that Lemone might be moving? I said she was. I
Speaker 2: heard it on the podcast. I'm like, do you okay?
Speaker 1: Wait, mom?
Speaker 2: So you you learnt about Lamarn moving from when La
Speaker 2: Moren was talking to me about it on our podcast
Speaker 2: she was on listen every week. I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I why are you asking me? Do I know.
Speaker 1: It's a bowling A bowling ball just rolled over here
Speaker 1: on me.
Speaker 2: Well that's great because this is slapstick comedy right now,
Speaker 2: when we're talking about my mom donning do you know
Speaker 2: the moving I was like, how where do we begin
Speaker 2: with this one?
Speaker 1: Your mom? It turned out is as I'm kidding, as
Speaker 1: bright as CC is.
Speaker 2: She would take that. She'd be like, really, thank you
Speaker 2: so much. All right, let's dive in because there's so
Speaker 2: much to get through in this episode. Oh yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 2: so freaking good. So come on, write it down.
Speaker 1: Okay, So here, let me do this first.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I just have to say right off the top.
Speaker 2: I know you we usually say it after, but I
Speaker 2: have to have It was directed by Steve Welch, which
Speaker 2: you guys, he was the editor of New Girl. So
Speaker 2: when you see like that really great, like you know,
Speaker 2: like wrap that happened during like Nick's cancer episode, or
Speaker 2: like wonderful, amazing things that have happened a lot of
Speaker 2: it always has to do with in the edit. And
Speaker 2: that was the genius of Steve Welch, and he got
Speaker 2: to direct this episode, which is so cool when an
Speaker 2: editor gets a direct because they know the shots, they
Speaker 2: know what they're looking for. They have a different insight
Speaker 2: and perspective and lens on things, which is why I
Speaker 2: think this episode is so funny because our editor got
Speaker 2: to direct, really got to get all the goods. And
Speaker 2: Sophia Lear wrote it, who's one of the funniest, kindest,
Speaker 2: most talented women out there. So such a good one. Okay,
Speaker 2: tell us about it a.
Speaker 1: Long oh yeah. But I'll also say on Steve Welsh front,
Speaker 1: you know, as an editor, you're right. He knows all
Speaker 1: the shots, all the angles, he knows exactly what he's
Speaker 1: gonna use in the edit it, and I respected him
Speaker 1: from start to finish. Jake Johnson, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not listening to some du like. He
Speaker 1: couldn't give Jake acting notes. He wouldn't allow it. He
Speaker 1: was just like, Jake was like, dude, stick to editing.
Speaker 2: Why are you dragging us into this podcast war.
Speaker 1: No, there is no podcast war. This is two separate podcasts.
Speaker 1: I'm just speaking the truth because that's what this Because
Speaker 1: I love the fans so much, we do this episode,
Speaker 1: we do this podcast. I'm only speaking. They need to
Speaker 1: know the truth, they need to know the facts. So
Speaker 1: let's get into this episode, all right. Jake hates the fans,
Speaker 1: So Jess hires coach to be the coach of her
Speaker 1: school's volleyball team, but when she gets promoted to vice principal,
Speaker 1: her first task is to fire coach the coach. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Nick and Instant pretend to be lawyers from the make
Speaker 1: belief firm of Cooper, Bishop and Ferguson and represent Schmid
Speaker 1: in a personal injury lawsuit he's facing. Meanwhile, back at
Speaker 1: the bar, CEC has her eyes set on a nice
Speaker 1: young man with an accent named Buster.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, so much to say on that, by
Speaker 2: the way, so much backstory to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when we get to that, are you going down?
Speaker 1: You're about to get busted because of Buster? That is.
Speaker 2: All right. When we come back, we are gonna dive.
Speaker 1: It and we j hates the fans, so okay, so
Speaker 1: I love this part. Nick is waiting in the kitchen
Speaker 1: with a fly swatter, right, He's just just waiting for
Speaker 1: a fly, which I've done. I have one, and I
Speaker 1: the flies are never around when you need them, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Let me just say this about the fly swatters the
Speaker 2: best ones and the cruelest ones, because it's not a
Speaker 2: fair fight. Are the electric ones?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you don't lose that fight. But it's it's
Speaker 2: it's an unfair advantage in the man versus fly.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you get a fly so strong that it's electricity resistant.
Speaker 2: Comes up and slaps you.
Speaker 1: It goes and it'll play dead, it'll play possum.
Speaker 2: Turn into a superhero maybe.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it mutates when you're electrocuted. You electric It's like.
Speaker 2: The superhero thing that you're gonna do. Everybody's like, oh,
Speaker 2: Lamar's next up is to become like the next big superhero,
Speaker 2: like a Robert Downey junior thing. You could be fly Man.
Speaker 1: You mean the Fly from by Jeff Goldblum. That's already
Speaker 1: been done, Jeff already done superheroes The Fly. Jeff.
Speaker 2: All right. So then Jess lets the boys know she
Speaker 2: got coach a job at her school and and it's
Speaker 2: his first day and he is like not happy about it,
Speaker 2: doesn't want to go to the job, hates children, thinks
Speaker 2: this is going to be a terrible idea, but he
Speaker 2: needs the paycheck, so he's going to show.
Speaker 1: Up, that's right, and he does, and in coach fashion,
Speaker 1: he is aggressively screaming at these.
Speaker 2: Kids, which by the way, made me laugh so much
Speaker 2: because Damon has what nine twenty you know, he has.
Speaker 1: More than he has more than Nick Cannon. He has
Speaker 1: more than Nick Cannon.
Speaker 2: He has seventy children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, something like that. That bought be doing it anyway.
Speaker 2: And no one loves children more than Daman. He's just
Speaker 2: the absolute like best dad, he's the kindest uncle everything.
Speaker 2: And it was so funny to have him play like
Speaker 2: this scene where he's screaming and so.
Speaker 1: Mean, yes, keep running or out will murder your family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine.
Speaker 2: Crazy, that's so crazy, so dark, so perfect for her exactly.
Speaker 1: Now meanwhile, Schmid, you know, he had nowhere to put
Speaker 1: all of his stuff, you know, so he you know,
Speaker 1: he you know, they give him, they give him bit
Speaker 1: of advice and say, hey, let's move all of your
Speaker 1: furniture to the storefront that you bought or that you're
Speaker 1: renting out. And when they come when they go in,
Speaker 1: a dude walks in randomly and is like, hey, I
Speaker 1: want to buy that. But you know, he's like, it's
Speaker 1: not for sale.
Speaker 2: It's a storage unit.
Speaker 1: It's a storage unit. And Nick is like, you gotta
Speaker 1: do it, you gotta do it, you gotta do it.
Speaker 1: He does it. But the problem is the guy then
Speaker 1: goes and trips, just like Winston did earlier. And Winston's
Speaker 1: a great guy, is not gonna sue. But this guy,
Speaker 1: he's about to take him to court.
Speaker 2: And you're playing the piano very beautifully, I assume not
Speaker 2: for real.
Speaker 1: Thank you for saying so.
Speaker 2: That means a lot just banging around on there. And also,
Speaker 2: by the way, I will say this and I love
Speaker 2: this this choice by the show, the way he tripped
Speaker 2: felt like he wanted the lawsuit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know people who done that right.
Speaker 2: It was like the throwing themselves in front of like
Speaker 2: a parked car kind of situation. Oh so that I
Speaker 2: like that little setup in that choice. Didn't just genuinely
Speaker 2: fall and hurt himself. Right, we're already on like your jerk.
Speaker 2: We hope these guys can figure out how to get
Speaker 2: out of this lawsuit. I like that choice for our show.
Speaker 1: You know what, let me go back and rewind why
Speaker 1: I forget Nick. Nick didn't tell him to do it? Now,
Speaker 1: Nick told him not to do it.
Speaker 2: Okay, another one of your bits of just trying to
Speaker 2: make Jake Johnson responsible now for this thing happening in
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: No, no, I forgot he told him it was illegal.
Speaker 1: He told him was illegal. That's one.
Speaker 2: He's like, he tried to actually give him good advice.
Speaker 2: And then Schmid gets himself into a pickle because that's right,
Speaker 2: he's trying to sit there and now make money. And
Speaker 2: then the guy falls and now he's going to sue
Speaker 2: the business, but there is no business. It's just a
Speaker 2: shimitty exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Schmid tells him that he's not going to listen
Speaker 1: to to a guy who pronounces uh bounces the G
Speaker 1: in lasagna. Now just then, okay, so we've already moved
Speaker 1: past that. Now we're back at the teacher's lounge.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Coach is actually loving the up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it fits him.
Speaker 2: He's digging it. And then, oh gosh, the biology teacher
Speaker 2: needs some tech support. So Jess helps him and then
Speaker 2: looks at him and says, you know, I can see
Speaker 2: your entire search history, right, and then he's like, I'm
Speaker 2: a biology teacher, it's already sir.
Speaker 1: Now Coach is curious. He's like I see you doing
Speaker 1: all this stuff. You're you're the tech support now. And
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, I do a lot of stuff to
Speaker 1: help around the school, mowing the lawn, cleaning off graffiti.
Speaker 2: She's trying to earn goodwill so that she hopefully gets
Speaker 2: chosen to be vice vice principal. I've just been trying
Speaker 2: to earn the goodwill. Also, by the way, what did
Speaker 2: she say, like, I love corn on the cob, but
Speaker 2: I don't go around like painting it on.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, But Coach's advice is, you know, you can't
Speaker 1: just wait around. You gotta take it. Okay, you gotta
Speaker 1: you gotta go get the job that you want. And
Speaker 1: so in his metaphor, he you know, he's in front
Speaker 1: of a volleyball net and uh inn in typical jests fashion,
Speaker 1: she's getting aggressive, but she can't hit the ball over
Speaker 1: the net and she instead hits herself in the face
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he says, this is that moment with Damon
Speaker 2: when he's like, I will not laugh. Made me think like,
Speaker 2: if somebody gets hurt like trips and falls, you know,
Speaker 2: and gets hurt, is your nervous reaction to laugh?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, it depends on how bad they get hurt.
Speaker 2: If it's like it depends on who or how bad
Speaker 2: they got hurt.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean it's what the accident is. If somebody
Speaker 1: like falls downstairs, No, I'm not laughing. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: try to make sure that person's okay. If somebody gets
Speaker 1: hit in the face of the volleyball, I am in tears.
Speaker 2: I'm not I don't laugh at all. I have such
Speaker 2: like mamma instignum. I'm like, oh my god, oh no,
Speaker 2: running over, are you okay? But I know a lot
Speaker 2: of people that have the nervous laughter thing, no matter
Speaker 2: what the situation or who it is. Their grandma could
Speaker 2: fall down the stairs and they're just like like they
Speaker 2: do a weird giggles squeaks out and it's so odd.
Speaker 1: Oh. When I laugh, it's not nervous laughter at all.
Speaker 1: It's intentionally I'm finger pointing. I'm going, you little stupid, You're.
Speaker 2: Going all the way back to the to the playground.
Speaker 1: Now. Meanwhile, we go back into the loft, and you
Speaker 1: know they come inside with Winston and uh and Schmidt,
Speaker 1: I believe. And I don't know why this line makes
Speaker 1: me laugh so much. When Winston says there is no
Speaker 1: justice for the hebrew Man, not in these United States.
Speaker 1: Winston's like, hey, man, I can't get enough of this
Speaker 1: legal drama that schmids in and the whole that's what
Speaker 1: this is what courtroom brown?
Speaker 2: Courtroom brown? And you know what, they're not wrong. That's
Speaker 2: an amazing nickname.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I loved also the little moment where he was like
Speaker 2: my name and Nick's like Winston and you like, don't react,
Speaker 2: don't react. He's like courtroom and.
Speaker 1: Then what.
Speaker 2: Grown men?
Speaker 1: Grown men?
Speaker 2: Yes, but okay, not a revelation, but okay, but you.
Speaker 1: Know he is still without a lawyer. You know, he's
Speaker 1: got to go to court. And Winston suggests that Nick
Speaker 1: should be Schmidt's lawyer. You know, he did pass the bar.
Speaker 1: You know something you don't forget. According to him, it's
Speaker 1: like riding a bike.
Speaker 2: I've never related to something more. I hate that expression.
Speaker 2: It's just like riding a bike. Yeah, because sure I
Speaker 2: can ride a bike, but if you put one like
Speaker 2: underneath me, now, like go go get on that bike
Speaker 2: and go ride around the block, I'd be like, well,
Speaker 2: just give me a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a warm up. Oh but a warm up
Speaker 1: for real, Like how do I break again? Is this
Speaker 1: the kind of break with your feet or you get
Speaker 1: the handheld in private?
Speaker 2: Could I just like figure it out?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 2: By the way, fair, if it is like riding a bike,
Speaker 2: give him a minute to like familiarize himself with something
Speaker 2: isn't in a while? Yes, expression works if that's the
Speaker 2: takeaway from the expression. But if it's easy in child's play,
Speaker 2: this expression needs to be reworked. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Now. Nick is agreeing to be his lawyer, but he
Speaker 1: says only if he says please and has a retainer
Speaker 1: of five dollars. He tells him four. It's like you
Speaker 1: got a deal.
Speaker 2: Give me some skin. So funny this thank him being
Speaker 2: a lawyer, but also this negotiation. Okay, know this is
Speaker 2: one of the most awkward, funny moments in New Girl history.
Speaker 2: Jess marches in. She's now all fired up, and she says, uh,
Speaker 2: I want to be I want you to take advantage
Speaker 2: of me.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm young, energetic, take advantage of me, take
Speaker 1: full advantage of me, and uh I love his response.
Speaker 1: He's like, ah, man, I'm really only into Asians right now.
Speaker 1: We've all been there, am I right?
Speaker 2: And then he explains his backstory, like where it all started.
Speaker 2: It's so bunny, and then she clarifies they both feel
Speaker 2: very weird. And then he's so excited. Who wants the
Speaker 2: vice principal job, the thankless jobs of being a VP?
Speaker 2: But she wants it. She's like, what a dream. Here
Speaker 2: you go and gives her all the files. Take a
Speaker 2: look at our finances. Let's start to figure out the school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, And coach tries to dump gatorade in her
Speaker 1: or coach of aide, say coach of aide or something
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I loved how it was. Damon.
Speaker 2: You can tell his improving is running out. He's like,
Speaker 2: it's only gonna get on your dress, on your face
Speaker 2: and your makeup in your hair. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1: Now the mock trial. The mockb so fun Nick Schmidt, Winston.
Speaker 1: They do a mock trial once they won't answer next
Speaker 1: questions and he's getting frustrated and Schmidt fires him on
Speaker 1: the spot and immediately Jake, give me another chance.
Speaker 2: So funny the way he says it too, it's so
Speaker 2: Jake versus Nick. That moment was like smulisious, so funny. Okay,
Speaker 2: this let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the pedophilia drink.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. And this is with the absolutely crazy, talented,
Speaker 2: super funny Ben Falcone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's got great.
Speaker 2: Taste in women in real life Mary Timlis McCarthy. He
Speaker 2: plays this so funny to me that I can catch
Speaker 2: myself having to like, I kept like biting my tongue
Speaker 2: with the inside of my cheek because Ben was making
Speaker 2: me laugh. Hm hmm, so hard. So some fun facts
Speaker 2: is that I feel like they cast an Australian because
Speaker 2: of trent O'Donnell. Right, It was this thing about like
Speaker 2: the handsome guy or whatever, and so they cast an Australian.
Speaker 2: But Buster is Brett Bear's son's real name. He named
Speaker 2: a character after his kid, which a lot of writers
Speaker 2: and creators do. They put family names into the show.
Speaker 2: And Buster is his real son's name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then they and then they hired this guy
Speaker 1: and he happens to be a child. We're back to
Speaker 1: the character.
Speaker 2: Now, back to the character, back to the Aussie Buster.
Speaker 1: And I love that. I mean, let's just be honest, Ceci,
Speaker 1: this ain't okay, it's not okay, but you did it
Speaker 1: with a smile In her face.
Speaker 2: It's so weird. I remember it at the time. I
Speaker 2: remember this table reading and I was like, what's happening?
Speaker 2: And I didn't know. It was like from like a
Speaker 2: big back of like, well, a thirty year old, you know,
Speaker 2: guy dating a twenty year old girl happens. Nobody really
Speaker 2: blinks they should, but they don't.
Speaker 1: And yes they do. Really in this town, you gotta
Speaker 1: be over twenty one, that's the rule. And even then,
Speaker 1: even then, even then, even then, if you're like twenty
Speaker 1: two to twenty, between twenty two and twenty five at
Speaker 1: my age, you're like, yeah, but you're.
Speaker 2: In your forties. I'm talking about a thirty year old man.
Speaker 2: We were playing in our thirties right on this show,
Speaker 2: maybe even late twenties.
Speaker 1: No, on season three we were in our thirties right.
Speaker 2: But that's it. I feel like a young thirty year
Speaker 2: old man here in La dating a twenty year old girl.
Speaker 2: Not too many people would blink like I said they should.
Speaker 1: No, I'm here to tell you as a man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: people would blink. People would people would definitely make comments
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: It's weird. Don't do it, you, guys, it's weird. They're
Speaker 2: babies and the fact that we did it on the show,
Speaker 2: I was like, this is weird. He's a baby. I
Speaker 2: felt weird doing it in character. You can see my
Speaker 2: face where like there's i'man honest, like very little chemistry
Speaker 2: between me and this guy. Because in my brain, I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's a baby.
Speaker 1: Well, think about it this way. Hanah knows a baby,
Speaker 1: I know. And if if they wrote a storyline that
Speaker 1: Winston starts dating in underage Girl, because the whole point
Speaker 1: is that he's underage and he can't be in the bar.
Speaker 1: If Winston all of a sudden was like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: still gonna like see her out. I'm gonna forget your
Speaker 1: fake ID. I'm just gonna still go out and go
Speaker 1: on a date with you, it would be it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to get aired. It wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: get aired.
Speaker 2: I just it would get aired.
Speaker 1: No, there's no way, because then the rest of the
Speaker 1: fans would turn on the Winston character.
Speaker 2: I feel like it would get aired. But because here's
Speaker 2: the thing, it's America, right, Educate me about your country.
Speaker 2: The only thing that's underage if you're not twenty one
Speaker 2: is drinking right. Everything else well, uh, well is your legal.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, okay, but you know, still.
Speaker 2: I agree with you, but I'm just saying nothing illegal
Speaker 2: is happening.
Speaker 1: So you'd be like, oh man, but it's weird to drink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's tright. That's why she's like, you
Speaker 2: want to go get like a soda? She asked that.
Speaker 2: I was like, CC, girl, go talk to these writers
Speaker 2: that are writing this for you.
Speaker 1: There is always a.
Speaker 2: Way to go for a soda.
Speaker 1: It's not okay, Hannah. This has always been my motto.
Speaker 1: If she can't handle alcohol, you can't handle this.
Speaker 2: Bang.
Speaker 1: You can't handle it.
Speaker 2: Okay. So moving on, we are back at the school.
Speaker 2: What a rightway. We're back at school and they just
Speaker 2: says there's a big issue in the budget. They've got
Speaker 2: to make some big cuts and hi, mom, and Principal
Speaker 2: Foster says, well, look, you got it, then get rid
Speaker 2: of the most recent hire and that's coach.
Speaker 1: Coach.
Speaker 2: So Jess is absolutely devastated. It's not what she thought
Speaker 2: she was going to have to do, but it's part
Speaker 2: of the job. Now she's in a pickle, and so
Speaker 2: she goes to the gym to fire coach. At the
Speaker 2: exact moment, all of the students that have fallen so
Speaker 2: in love with coach are presenting him with a varsity
Speaker 2: jacket that reads coch coach.
Speaker 1: Coach, coach coach mmmmmm. And he leaves and he's crying, crying,
Speaker 1: and Damon's a Damon's a like method actor. He was
Speaker 1: actually crying.
Speaker 2: He can cry at a dime.
Speaker 1: He can't, he can't. Now. The next morning, obviously nobody
Speaker 1: want to talk to her, don't want to deal with this.
Speaker 2: No, I know, wait, you gave by the way, it
Speaker 2: was a real, real closed squint.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's either onions in an atmosphere, her.
Speaker 2: Face really placid.
Speaker 1: He just.
Speaker 2: You didn't even have like disdain on your face. It
Speaker 2: was just the squint. It was very impressive. It's hard
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 1: Because you get that. You get that, You get that
Speaker 1: from your mom when you act it up when as
Speaker 1: a kid and she just gives you the squint and you're.
Speaker 2: Like, oh no, there was more going on in the face.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get my beat.
Speaker 2: All of it would happen, just squint get bigger, though.
Speaker 2: You get the look for the look you gave her
Speaker 2: the squint.
Speaker 1: You know what. The squint also says something ain't right
Speaker 1: about you there's something else going on.
Speaker 2: I learned something today, right, I.
Speaker 1: See what this is this whole time. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: that is. And then uh Nick comes in and she's
Speaker 1: trying to get that she's trying to she's trying to
Speaker 1: get some advice. He's trying to, you know, have a
Speaker 1: talk with someone. And then you know, obviously Nick comes
Speaker 1: in and Nick tells just that uh Schmidt fired him,
Speaker 1: all right, and he'll never get to use his nineteen
Speaker 1: dollars briefcase study bought, you know what I mean, So
Speaker 1: ignore it completely, ignoring the fact that she just fired coach.
Speaker 1: Like he he doesn't know this yet because he's got
Speaker 1: his own problems going on. He's got his own thing
Speaker 1: going on.
Speaker 2: He got fired. She's firing someone. Yeah, they both need
Speaker 2: each other, they can see each other. This is a
Speaker 2: big moment of disconnect, which leads us into our next episode.
Speaker 2: But a big moment of disconnect. And then he does
Speaker 2: a very weird takeaway. You're right, no one can stop me,
Speaker 2: and he's off.
Speaker 1: That's right, He's going to go put on his power suit.
Speaker 1: Now we're we're we're in a mediation. Have you ever
Speaker 1: been in mediation? Is rough?
Speaker 2: I never have, have you? No, not really, Uh, you
Speaker 2: have no experience. We can tell you it's rough. I have.
Speaker 1: I have been a mediation before. You know, parental stuff,
Speaker 1: co parenting. You got to go through the mediation. So
Speaker 1: nobody actually gets everything that they want. And especially in
Speaker 1: this scenario when you got two idiots representing you, I.
Speaker 2: Will say, man, when he carried it off.
Speaker 1: He's the smart he's the smartest character, very smart.
Speaker 2: He came in there with the swag, bravado, fake it
Speaker 2: till you make it zero imposture syndrome, and just use comedy.
Speaker 1: Now, let me tell you something to disarm them. His
Speaker 1: joke whereas is that whether it's in the office or
Speaker 1: at the meeting, it's all Billable. Yep, that's how they
Speaker 1: think it's true. That's how they think. Stay out of court,
Speaker 1: you guys. They're just trying to take your money.
Speaker 2: It's not a jail seat of court. Life advice for
Speaker 2: about static court.
Speaker 1: And then Nick obviously is not good at it. He
Speaker 1: asked them if they should get into it or just
Speaker 1: take their pants off, and nobody laughs because they don't
Speaker 1: get it. I love his line of questioning, though, his
Speaker 1: line of questioning, he just says, so, what is uh
Speaker 1: your home address? Did? He tells her? He goes no
Speaker 1: further questions, Oh my gosh, where we were back at
Speaker 1: the bar?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and and coach Coach and jack Us are getting
Speaker 2: drunk and crying and sad. He said that he can't
Speaker 2: work with the kids anymore. She said that she had
Speaker 2: to fire them. Then they're talking about how much they
Speaker 2: love the kids, and they're spiraling and bonding and connecting
Speaker 2: over it because he's missing the game. He's coached them
Speaker 2: for this big game. He's missing the game. And then
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, with some liquid courage, they're like,
Speaker 2: forget it, let's go. We're going to the game.
Speaker 1: Were gon't do it, We're gonna make it happen.
Speaker 2: Also, the things that they say about these children during
Speaker 2: this ramble is some of the meanest stuff I've ever
Speaker 2: heard said about kids. But their delivery is that they
Speaker 2: love the kids so much, and it is hysterical.
Speaker 1: Pasadena is a bunch of bitch.
Speaker 2: Crazy did get Pasadena? Sorry, Pasadena, We love you Pasadena crazy.
Speaker 2: Then this okay, the cutback to this stenographer reading almost
Speaker 2: out of pocket insane thing, but then ends at the
Speaker 2: end of what she's reading is Look, I'm gonna buy
Speaker 2: some time or something. I'm gonna ask her to read back. Oh,
Speaker 2: she caught all the stuff that they had said under
Speaker 2: their breath, and now she's read out loud to the room.
Speaker 2: Classic Nick Miller, just his own undoing.
Speaker 1: Oh wow. Now the plaintive say, the place's attorney says
Speaker 1: that you know what, we will settle for a twenty
Speaker 1: thousand dollar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he says, you're not real lawyers. This is a joke.
Speaker 2: We want twenty grand and that's it. You have no
Speaker 2: legs to stand on. And then they kind of scuffle.
Speaker 2: They go out in the hall Schmidt and Nick, and
Speaker 2: Nick says this is all part of a plan. You
Speaker 2: got to trust me.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. And then they go inside. Actually, but you
Speaker 1: know what, let's just pause there on the plan. Let's
Speaker 1: skip on over to the volleyball game. Yeah, we're a coach.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're getting smoked. These kids are so bad,
Speaker 1: Like they're just the most uncoordinated little assholes that you've
Speaker 1: ever seen.
Speaker 2: Do you coach children's sports? Because you sound like it.
Speaker 1: No, I refuse, I refuse. I know how bad I
Speaker 1: am at certain sports. I don't want no part of that,
Speaker 1: I can I can sit there and tell a kid
Speaker 1: you gotta do this. I can't. I could never do it.
Speaker 1: So I'm hoping Lily, like, I hope she likes sports,
Speaker 1: but I hope that's another dad or another mom who's like,
Speaker 1: I'll coach.
Speaker 2: I'll be like, thank you, just say I'll bring the snacks.
Speaker 1: That's all you have to do all day, kidding me,
Speaker 1: orange slices, come on, bud light, I'll bring it. Don't matter,
Speaker 1: don't matter but light. But and because what well weed
Speaker 1: is medicinal, right, it helps heal.
Speaker 2: Uh, I'm gonna find something else for you to do sports.
Speaker 1: Okay. So they're at the volleyball game. Coach comes in,
Speaker 1: they're getting smoked, grabs the whistle and just starts barking
Speaker 1: orders at him. He's going, he's going, he's amping them
Speaker 1: up and it is working now. Meanwhile, Jess tells Principal
Speaker 1: Foster that she is going to VP the way she
Speaker 1: wants to do it, because he's sitting over there looking
Speaker 1: like what is coach doing here? And she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna figure it out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, other budget cuts, we can figure out other ways
Speaker 2: to make money and to save money and now she
Speaker 2: wants to think outside of the box and show her
Speaker 2: true skills and save coaches job. It's a very awesome moment,
Speaker 2: and the team scores a point. That's right, and everybody
Speaker 2: starts celebrating.
Speaker 1: Like what a bunch of losers. No, I'm kidding. It's
Speaker 1: all about participation. We know nobody cares really good at
Speaker 1: everybody give me a jam.
Speaker 2: So now we are back. We're back in this mediation room.
Speaker 2: Nick delivers a speech standing and then he gives Schmid
Speaker 2: some loose screws. Then he does the biggest pratfall ever.
Speaker 1: Justin Long would be proud.
Speaker 2: So proud Genslinger would be like.
Speaker 1: John Rid Oh yeah, and he falls. He claims negligence
Speaker 1: while grabbing his neck. He tells the other lawyers that
Speaker 1: he is gonna file petition after petition, overloading them with
Speaker 1: paperwork and uh and they kind of cave and as
Speaker 1: he walks out, he can't well. Well, first he tells
Speaker 1: them to pay the fee. He tells them to pay
Speaker 1: very smart though.
Speaker 2: Basically he's like, I'm just going to be a nuisance.
Speaker 2: This will never end. I will dedicate my life. I've
Speaker 2: got nothing but time and one case I will be
Speaker 2: your living nightmare, or you guys, as a law for firm,
Speaker 2: absorb this cost, pay your client, and I go away today.
Speaker 2: I don't know that would really work, but not a
Speaker 2: terrible plan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you don't feel like dealing with it, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like if you don't feel like
Speaker 1: because at the end, if he does, indeed, when they
Speaker 1: get they don't, he doesn't get to pay their fees. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's how all works, and it's only going
Speaker 1: to cost him a lot. Anyway. I love the fact
Speaker 1: that when they leave Winston Handsome his business cards ye
Speaker 1: play in the big leagues. Turns out it's just a
Speaker 1: baseball card that's pretty.
Speaker 2: Good, strong, open, strong clothes for Winston.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, not the bar then this.
Speaker 2: Weird tag it's I mean, it's so where CC is
Speaker 2: going to go out with a baby and the guys
Speaker 2: ras her as they should.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as they should. You know, it's it's weird. It's
Speaker 1: so weird that again, I don't know how to I
Speaker 1: don't know what to say about it other than I'm troubled.
Speaker 1: I don't want to continue down this journey of encouraging.
Speaker 2: Your I would like to say for the record, I've
Speaker 2: never dated anyone younger than me or weirdly older than me.
Speaker 2: I've always stayed in the age appropriate bucket. Well, just
Speaker 2: a animal.
Speaker 1: Well, you played it too well. You played it really.
Speaker 2: Well, so I think you could see my awkwardness in the summer.
Speaker 2: But it was actually a very cute. End of this episode,
Speaker 2: Nick walks back into law. He finds just passed out,
Speaker 2: covered in paperwork. She's wearing a velvet rabbit hat. I
Speaker 2: don't know if you saw that.
Speaker 1: Yes, I was like that money, and then.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, is he going to be bummed
Speaker 2: because he's won his case and she's sleeping. But he
Speaker 2: loves her so much, and he all he says is
Speaker 2: real sweet.
Speaker 1: He holds her hand and lays down next to her.
Speaker 1: That was special. Let's go to a commercial break so
Speaker 1: we can keep thinking about how special that moment. And
Speaker 1: we are Jk's the fans. So let's go ahead, and
Speaker 1: let's go ahead and mess around a little bit here,
Speaker 1: shall we? Oh?
Speaker 2: Mine?
Speaker 1: Uh, have you guys ever represented yourself in court or
Speaker 1: small claims court? Why? And how did it go?
Speaker 2: Oh? Can I say something really quick about this short answer? No?
Speaker 2: But my favorite TV show for a very long time
Speaker 2: Daily viewer Daily It's People's Court. I've seen all the judges.
Speaker 2: There's been like nine judges on that show over the years. Okay,
Speaker 2: I've seen them all. I have my favorites. I won't
Speaker 2: say it aloud who my favorites were. But I sat
Speaker 2: there and watched like Civil Court in America for many years,
Speaker 2: Daily loved People's Court. And I just have to say,
Speaker 2: if someone wasn't like a fender bender, little pickle, no
Speaker 2: real injuries, oh I'm not a bad person to call.
Speaker 1: Oh so because of your TV.
Speaker 2: Experience, because of my TV experience.
Speaker 1: Well, I gotta say I wouldn't. You wouldn't be my
Speaker 1: first call her. I call her real lawyer, one of
Speaker 1: those people you see on a billboard or a bus stop.
Speaker 2: I did apply to law school and did not get it.
Speaker 2: I would I should say that all.
Speaker 1: About Oh boy, no g ed in a law school.
Speaker 2: I have two degrees. I just didn't get into law school.
Speaker 1: Sure sure, uh uh so I have. I've been the
Speaker 1: small claims court when I was very young. My first apartment,
Speaker 1: me and a couple buddies. They were trying to keep
Speaker 1: our security deposit. I want to say that was the case,
Speaker 1: and we needed that money back, and and the issues
Speaker 1: with the house that were issues were not really our problem.
Speaker 1: It was their problem for not being great landlords. All
Speaker 1: kinds of stuff that happened, and we took him to
Speaker 1: court and we won.
Speaker 2: Get out mean one, mean one impressive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that it's fun. But yeah, besides that, No,
Speaker 1: I am taking Jake Johnson to small claims court. That
Speaker 1: is a real thing. That is a real thing. Well,
Speaker 1: we can discuss it later. But you know the lobster, No,
Speaker 1: it's not over the lot. Why are you bringing up
Speaker 1: evidence that you don't need. Don't don't do that. Don't
Speaker 1: bring up ship that's gonna cost me in court.
Speaker 2: So I thought, well, I was gonna say that his
Speaker 2: treatment of your gift, I thought you were suing him.
Speaker 1: No, not for that, it's for other stuff. And it's
Speaker 1: deep and it's truggling. Have you been fired? Have you
Speaker 1: ever had to fire a friend from a job. If so,
Speaker 1: what's the best way to do that. I've never been
Speaker 1: a boss of anybody like that. I don't think.
Speaker 2: No, I've never had to fire anybody. I'd be terrible
Speaker 2: at it. I'd be like Jess, I'd be like, what
Speaker 2: other things can we do to make sure that, like
Speaker 2: you stay in this job. I would be terrible at
Speaker 2: it if I.
Speaker 1: Had to fire Nanny's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had that go not great, not great.
Speaker 1: It's it's you know, then I getting along my daughter.
Speaker 1: You know, it's toddlers don't get along with a lot
Speaker 1: of people. You know what I'm saying, But like this
Speaker 1: one in particular, Uh, I'll just fire to Nanny's one
Speaker 1: of which did the ultimate no no. And it's my
Speaker 1: thing is if you're taking my daughter to the park, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're taking there anywhere out of this house, yeah,
Speaker 1: put your locations.
Speaker 2: On on your phone for sure.
Speaker 1: Turn that on. And when I FaceTime answer for call answer.
Speaker 2: Is that optional?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And she knew this.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then one time she leaves and I go, like
Speaker 1: five minutes five minutes after they leave the house, she
Speaker 1: says she's going to the park. I'm getting some work
Speaker 1: Done'm just literally on a zoom or something like this,
Speaker 1: and I keep checking the phone to see her location
Speaker 1: and it's not on, and I'm like, what the hell.
Speaker 1: So then I'm like, hey, guys, I hold one second
Speaker 1: and I go call her. She doesn't answer FaceTime. She
Speaker 1: doesn't answer. An hour goes by, and I lost it,
Speaker 1: Like I was, you have no idea, You have no idea.
Speaker 1: When she got back to my house, it was like
Speaker 1: it was all hell broke loose. And she was just like, what,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I forgot I just you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: I left my phone in the car. I was he
Speaker 1: and it's just and and I was like, my sister
Speaker 1: was like, you gonna have to I'm gonna need you
Speaker 1: to go on the other room and I'll handle it.
Speaker 2: You know what's hard though, here's the thing, and your
Speaker 2: sister was right to do that because it was apparent
Speaker 2: when moments like that happen, you are not in your
Speaker 2: right mind. It's all visceral. It's primal, right, it's ancestral,
Speaker 2: like your bones are, like somebody took my child. Doesn't
Speaker 2: matter if it's rational or not. You can't rationalize with
Speaker 2: somebody when something primitive is happening in your body. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's you're you're you're not in the right space.
Speaker 1: Right And so yeah, so I had to I had
Speaker 1: to fire her. Yeah, uh, do you both plan on
Speaker 1: coaching your children in sports? We talked about this.
Speaker 2: We did talk about it. You're in now and we
Speaker 2: thought snacks. I also don't know if this is going
Speaker 2: to be your.
Speaker 1: You're not going to give them drugs.
Speaker 2: You know what you should do? You should be the
Speaker 2: guy organized like the trans pope, get like a.
Speaker 1: Cool like, oh yeah, I get a sprinter van, get
Speaker 1: like a ya.
Speaker 2: Right, maybe this is the vibe that's cool.
Speaker 1: You feel that spreader van with like orange slices marijuana.
Speaker 2: Okay, someone else's next next? Fired up you guys? What
Speaker 2: a funny episode? Honestly, yeah, anytime the three of you
Speaker 2: guys are locked in a room together trying to get
Speaker 2: away with something, it is comedy gold. The just Coach
Speaker 2: storyline is great and funny, my more heartwarming, let's just
Speaker 2: be real. The ccbuster one is weird. Ben Falcone though,
Speaker 2: came in and was so committed it's made it hysterical.
Speaker 2: But the three of you guys doing this legal drama
Speaker 2: one of the funniest things. Completely forgot about this episode.
Speaker 2: What a fun were you watching?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thank you guys, Thank y'all for listening. We
Speaker 1: really really appreciate it. Dope shirt, you're rocking there, Hannah.
Speaker 1: As always, please make sure you follow us on IG
Speaker 1: at the mess Around Pod. You got questions, you got videos,
Speaker 1: you got anything you want to show us, say to
Speaker 1: us or concerns. The mess Around Pod at gmail dot
Speaker 1: com is available for you. We'll be back next week
Speaker 1: episode three twenty Mars Lending.
Speaker 2: I would also like to say the week after that,
Speaker 2: mark your calendars. I want to see you setting out
Speaker 2: those invites from your calendars because three twenty one Big
Speaker 2: News Max Greenfield will be joining us for the episode.
Speaker 1: That's right, bap peace.
Speaker 2: That was the mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 1: Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is
Speaker 1: Abu Zafar. Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 2: Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Speaker 2: Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
Speaker 1: Catch you next time.
Speaker 2: Bye,