Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and they
Speaker 2: Turmano and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off in style. Do you
Speaker 1: wanna welcome you back home?
Speaker 3: Tell us all about it? We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Mal porn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need need to ride?
Speaker 5: Ride?
Speaker 4: Welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 4: You went to Taco Bell instead of Starbucks.
Speaker 3: It was just easier. This Starbucks near the airport. You
Speaker 3: have to get park your car and then get out
Speaker 3: and go into a hotel, both of them, I believe.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to be on call because I knew
Speaker 3: that you were. You were coming off of a problematic flight.
Speaker 3: It was I didn't want you to be standing curbside
Speaker 3: like an orphan.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm it's funny to be.
Speaker 6: I don't know that we've ever done it this way
Speaker 6: where I'm the one, I've learned.
Speaker 4: Some things where I'm the one being picked up.
Speaker 6: First of all, anyone that we would be picking up
Speaker 6: probably is not in the best state of mind a podcast.
Speaker 6: That's what I've found, just because I didn't talk to
Speaker 6: anyone for flowers, yep, and just now I didn't even
Speaker 6: I messed up the word taco because I need to
Speaker 6: talk for a while, because.
Speaker 3: Because you need to taco for a while.
Speaker 6: I need to taco to people before I start using
Speaker 6: my burrito Peter, and it is.
Speaker 4: This is all peaking. It's oh sorry, it's quite all right.
Speaker 3: It's my boisterous, if not obnoxious, drama student.
Speaker 4: Last so I think there were that's there. It's a
Speaker 4: probably it's a flaw with.
Speaker 6: Our original, our original original. It's really bizarre. How I
Speaker 6: need to practice talking?
Speaker 3: Did you need Starbucks? What do you need?
Speaker 4: I would love it, but let's not do that.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, we'll get involved.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I yeah.
Speaker 6: It was a it was a just a flight that
Speaker 6: kept getting delayed and they'd never ever reasoned, and people
Speaker 6: want answers. They they yell things like this is ridiculous
Speaker 6: or this is unbelievable, and I find it to.
Speaker 4: Be always believable. It so believable, hardly ever ridiculous.
Speaker 3: I always feel like I'm getting away with something when
Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with my flight.
Speaker 4: Right exactly.
Speaker 6: It's half the time, and I never check a bag,
Speaker 6: and of course they had lost my only my bag.
Speaker 6: Everyone left and it was only me. And then if
Speaker 6: it's just you, they're like, well, it's something you did. Yeah,
Speaker 6: And they said what does it look like? And I said, well,
Speaker 6: it's a dark gray, kind of shiny Duffel bag.
Speaker 4: Samson ight, it's the name on it. And then they.
Speaker 6: Proceeded to check flowery purple roller bags and I'm like, well,
Speaker 6: that's not the bag I just described, but it and
Speaker 6: then somehow it just ended up tumbling out at the
Speaker 6: end and the turnstile started again just for my bag.
Speaker 6: So I don't know, Wow, it's not interesting at all.
Speaker 3: It was I bet it was. It was cozy behind
Speaker 3: a flowery roller bag.
Speaker 6: It was hiding behind someone that was on vacation by someone.
Speaker 6: I mean a bag, a fun a fun bag.
Speaker 3: A bag that's also a person in our cartoon world.
Speaker 6: Oh, I would love to see a bag with just
Speaker 6: some blinking cartoon eyes, just with my real eyes for once,
Speaker 6: just an nanimate object.
Speaker 3: And then it flips over forward onto its own eyes
Speaker 3: and is blinded.
Speaker 4: I had a great trip. I sure want to get
Speaker 4: these dirty socks out.
Speaker 3: Of me going.
Speaker 4: I was in Phoenix, Arizona.
Speaker 6: Arizona for the All Things Comedy podcast and comedy festival,
Speaker 6: and the clubs there, one of them seats seven hundred people,
Speaker 6: I think stand up live, and then the improv their
Speaker 6: seats over four hundred. And all my shows were there
Speaker 6: and they were so fun.
Speaker 4: And I like doing stand up a lot.
Speaker 3: Again, you should because you're good at stand up comedy.
Speaker 4: Well, thank you.
Speaker 6: I have not been to doing it, and I've felt
Speaker 6: like that's not what I do anymore. Like if I
Speaker 6: take a couple of weeks off just because I don't
Speaker 6: have anything booked, at the end of those couple of weeks,
Speaker 6: I have no identity and I don't know what I'm doing, yes,
Speaker 6: because I've just been drawing pictures, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 6: I guess I'm a guy that draws pictures.
Speaker 3: And then when you get on stage, there's no rhythm.
Speaker 3: You don't even know how to talk funny anymore. It's
Speaker 3: like you try to get these ideas on their feet
Speaker 3: and it sounds like you've never done stand.
Speaker 6: Up yeah, or and this is what happened this time,
Speaker 6: Or I'm on stage and it feels new and exciting again,
Speaker 6: and I'm nervous, and I resort to my old stumbling
Speaker 6: frenetic improvised my back as against the wall and I'm
Speaker 6: having a breakdown and hopefully it's funny way, which is
Speaker 6: what I did this time, and it was very fun.
Speaker 3: It turned out to be funny, right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was also I felt like I haven't done
Speaker 6: that improv since I got in trouble there ten years
Speaker 6: ago for meddling with the staff like a Russian vote counter.
Speaker 6: I just was they were fun and they wanted to
Speaker 6: hang out. And then I showed up and the owner,
Speaker 6: I think he's passed away, but he was like, I
Speaker 6: heard you.
Speaker 4: Went to six shooters with my staff.
Speaker 6: I was in trouble for being invited and going with
Speaker 6: people that worked at a comedy club to a bar
Speaker 6: that was across the parking lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not how comedy clubs work. No where was
Speaker 3: that man from the rectory, the priest's rectory, the local
Speaker 3: Catholic church.
Speaker 6: Well, I know that he was religious enough to be
Speaker 6: in the program of Twelve Steps, which I was invited
Speaker 6: to just for ordering a drink. They also said back
Speaker 6: then that there was a law that no performer could
Speaker 6: have an alcoholic beverage honor before the show, and I
Speaker 6: was like, oh, okay, I didn't that must be an
Speaker 6: Arizona law.
Speaker 4: And the people that work at the club now said,
Speaker 4: well that it's not true at all. Yeah, here's your
Speaker 4: free drinks.
Speaker 3: There's no I've never heard of a club doing any
Speaker 3: of these fucking things, right.
Speaker 6: There just used to be this looming thing there that
Speaker 6: you will get in trouble for something. And I kind
Speaker 6: of my nervousness was based in me feeling like I
Speaker 6: was that person ten years ago opening for Sarah Silver.
Speaker 3: But well, it must be nice now that you know
Speaker 3: that era has ended. Yes, truly, those people are gone.
Speaker 4: And this club was so fun. The Tempion prop is
Speaker 4: so great, and so.
Speaker 3: Were they like showcase shows like eight People shows.
Speaker 6: And it was mostly a lot of the comics that
Speaker 6: have podcasts at all Things comedy are like comedy store guys.
Speaker 6: Like it's a lot of comics that I don't see
Speaker 6: very often that I'm not on shows with, right, And
Speaker 6: it was.
Speaker 4: Really fun to do these shows with sold out crowds
Speaker 4: with these guys don't get to do shows with it
Speaker 4: was really fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I loved it. I had a fun trip.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad.
Speaker 6: And then I lost my bag and rowin everything. It
Speaker 6: didn't though it didn't it didn't.
Speaker 4: I'm fine now.
Speaker 3: Because it wasn't lost. All is not lost. Wait, it's
Speaker 3: really First of all, welcome back to Los Angeles.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: We brought in some fog for you.
Speaker 4: It's kind of cold even it's.
Speaker 3: Like a little winterry October evening with a very thick
Speaker 3: marine layer. Ended up this four or five right now,
Speaker 3: And this is a loaner car.
Speaker 4: I thought it wasn't your car.
Speaker 3: It's not because it's the same exact car. Oddly, they
Speaker 3: had my exact car, except for a different interior. Because
Speaker 3: I took my car, and because it's I thought something's
Speaker 3: wrong with the brakes because it's a new car. So
Speaker 3: every sound it makes, I'm like, oh, I got a
Speaker 3: bad one, and I get really upset. And so I
Speaker 3: took it in and nothing's wrong with it at all.
Speaker 3: But then I said, hey, do you tint windows? And
Speaker 3: they were like sure, so I'm getting all my windows didn't.
Speaker 3: Oh that's great, So I still have the loaner.
Speaker 4: That's terrific. You know what I did as I looked
Speaker 4: down at the steering wheel and it seemed like it
Speaker 4: had aged.
Speaker 3: More, oh yeah than in your car. Oh right, Yeah
Speaker 3: this must be a little older.
Speaker 4: Yeah this your car is a little fancier, isn't it?
Speaker 3: Thank you? I would like to think so it's a yeah,
Speaker 3: it's classier. It's just it's just more regal, which is
Speaker 3: what I need in my interior vehicle interiors. Regalness, a regality,
Speaker 3: thank you. I need to be regaled with leather stitching.
Speaker 6: And yeah, I feel like it's different color too. Anyway,
Speaker 6: it's this is also a beautiful car.
Speaker 3: I mean, the whole Lexus line of daghbreads is really something.
Speaker 4: To know what they're doing.
Speaker 3: They're just it's a gorgeous, cushy car.
Speaker 4: If I talked about how comfortable these seats are not
Speaker 4: yet are amazing.
Speaker 3: Uh. You know what I would think about driving down
Speaker 3: here is how in Los Angeles you kind of know
Speaker 3: what somebody does for a living base on their car,
Speaker 3: because like just certain types of people have certain cars,
Speaker 3: right and don't have other cars. Like famous people always
Speaker 3: have a Mercedes that looks like it's a military vehicle,
Speaker 3: like it looks like it's bulletproof.
Speaker 6: Oh, those boxy Mercedes. Yeah, and those people always drive terribly.
Speaker 3: They drive terribly. They don't need that much protection. They're
Speaker 3: not under a threat of child soldiers or rhinocera. It's
Speaker 3: not the plural of it. And then same with like
Speaker 3: those tall like a land Rover that looks like it's
Speaker 3: two stories tall. Right, there's always those who you like,
Speaker 3: what do you fucking need that for?
Speaker 4: It's funny.
Speaker 6: My friend bought and it didn't make sense to me
Speaker 6: until it all came together. He bought like one of
Speaker 6: those Mercedes sprinter vans that has no windows.
Speaker 3: The ones vans drive around it.
Speaker 6: Yes, it was all gutted, but it's four wheel drive
Speaker 6: and big and tall and it and they turned it
Speaker 6: into this camping vehicle and it's got beds and swiveling
Speaker 6: chairs in it, and it's got a heater that well,
Speaker 6: they could like park it in a ski area lot
Speaker 6: and set the heater to warm it up right before
Speaker 6: they're done skiing.
Speaker 4: It's oh wow, it's pretty.
Speaker 6: He also has a cat flap in his house that
Speaker 6: has a chip reader, so other cats can't come in
Speaker 6: unless they have an embedded chip. It's the most high
Speaker 6: tech cat situation I've ever been.
Speaker 4: James Bond privy too.
Speaker 6: Yes, my friend, uh, ross is is kind of James
Speaker 6: BONDI that's very cool.
Speaker 4: It is cool.
Speaker 3: Is he a sponsored snowboarder? Is that why he gets
Speaker 3: to have a sprinter that's rebuilt.
Speaker 6: He used to be Yeah, he used to be a
Speaker 6: professional snowboarder. Yeah, for K two And that's how I
Speaker 6: got all my stuff. And I just follow him around
Speaker 6: for most of my late teens and twenties.
Speaker 3: The best yea, the life.
Speaker 6: And but no, he does websites and has a cool
Speaker 6: cool gadgets.
Speaker 3: Does we gadget up and listen to his friend Chris's podcast?
Speaker 6: I wonder if he does. I always want to ask him.
Speaker 6: I know some of his friends, do some of his
Speaker 6: friend's wives.
Speaker 3: I'll ask him, yeah, right to his face.
Speaker 4: Do you know me? Do you recognize me? Huh? That's
Speaker 4: funny because if.
Speaker 6: You listen to our podcast, you also, I guess, wouldn't
Speaker 6: recognize You.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't recognize the face, but you would recognize the same
Speaker 3: stories I tell over and over.
Speaker 6: This voice that is scolding you, you recognize that, and
Speaker 6: this was that's from the theater. Oh it was, yeah,
Speaker 6: I I and Phoenix.
Speaker 4: It's interesting.
Speaker 6: Phoenix is one of those downtowns where there's no people
Speaker 6: except homeless folks.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, but like our fair Los Angeles, it's so clean.
Speaker 6: I don't trust a downtown area like San Antonio was
Speaker 6: like that, where there's no garbage anywhere.
Speaker 3: And what are you looking for in a downtown.
Speaker 4: I want some character. I want some urine. I want
Speaker 4: some rats. I want some more urine. I would like
Speaker 4: a rapper. I want to know where that Burger's been.
Speaker 3: What have you ever been to downtown Santiego, the gas
Speaker 3: Lamp district.
Speaker 6: This looks like this place. Yeah, it's like that too.
Speaker 6: It's very clean.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, but i'd never been there on a Friday night.
Speaker 3: And we did a show there a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 3: and afterwards, I think we ended up walking home and
Speaker 3: or no we didn't. We were in a car because
Speaker 3: we ubered home because it was like New Orleans. It
Speaker 3: was like bikes, bikes that were lit up, playing music
Speaker 3: with people drunk inside. Like it was like a big,
Speaker 3: huge party downtown.
Speaker 6: Oh wow, yeah, I think I've they really party down there.
Speaker 6: But there's a lot of I'm scared of a lot
Speaker 6: of the MMA looking dudes. It just looks like a
Speaker 6: bunch of professional mixed martial arts fighters there.
Speaker 3: Oh in San Diego. Yes, yeah, it'll just kick your
Speaker 3: ass for no reason. Yeah yeah, Okay for.
Speaker 4: Not having Republican parents.
Speaker 3: Look, we can't all be so lucky.
Speaker 4: Oh, I have those liberal Pinko parents.
Speaker 3: Fucking Pinkos. So I'm gonna go this way and get
Speaker 3: and get down to the beach.
Speaker 6: We're going past Tito's Tacos. I love Tito's tacos. You
Speaker 6: love Tito's too. The only thing better than a Tito's
Speaker 6: taco is two. And there's always a line yep, spinking
Speaker 6: of Pinkos. There's a line there, like at Pink's hot Dogs,
Speaker 6: a line that I don't understand because that is just
Speaker 6: a diarrhega.
Speaker 4: Bullets for a poop gun. That that those tacos. Damn, sorry,
Speaker 4: you're I think I.
Speaker 3: Know what I've Bullets for a poop gun.
Speaker 4: They are, it is, it is.
Speaker 6: It is very much a going to cause that if
Speaker 6: you eat there, it tastes good.
Speaker 4: But you know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna rewind you slightly.
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you.
Speaker 3: Did you make up that Tito's Taco jingle? Or is
Speaker 3: that something you've heard?
Speaker 6: That is their song that they play on television and
Speaker 6: they are flying tacos in it?
Speaker 3: And is this just Venice TV straight something I couldn't
Speaker 3: see because I don't live there.
Speaker 4: It's it's funny.
Speaker 6: No, I think they pay good money to advertise on network. Wow,
Speaker 6: it's a local commercial that I've seen often and I'm
Speaker 6: not a huge TV watcher.
Speaker 3: Like, there's a Sprinter, there's a Mercedes.
Speaker 4: Is the van? That is the type of van? It
Speaker 4: might even be a little smaller, Wow, the one he got.
Speaker 6: And so anyone sees it, they just assume it's like
Speaker 6: a workman. So it's unassuming, like someone might break into
Speaker 6: a Winnebago or some kind of recreational vehicle.
Speaker 4: Not this one.
Speaker 6: Yeah, with his they just think it's a bunch of
Speaker 6: boxes of pamphlets or something.
Speaker 3: It looks like a pamphlet van, looks like a plumbers
Speaker 3: van exactly. It looks like business. Don't even worry about it.
Speaker 6: Who would break in just to get some plumbers? Feezis
Speaker 6: covered branches?
Speaker 3: Someone who wants to fill their poop gun with diarrhea?
Speaker 3: Bullets fresh from the plumbers van.
Speaker 6: A bunch of pairs of pants that don't quite fit
Speaker 6: well in the waist, So you get that signature.
Speaker 4: Crack. I yeah, it's Can.
Speaker 3: I tell you sorry about when I took my rag
Speaker 3: when I took my car in to get fixed, as
Speaker 3: the anecdote I just told you, Oh yes. The man
Speaker 3: who was helping me was like someone in a sketch
Speaker 3: playing a character of a guy that works at Alexus dealership.
Speaker 3: Like he was real smooth, and he kind of looked
Speaker 3: like somebody you would see at a bluegrass festival on
Speaker 3: the weekends, Like he had Kenny Rogers feel about him.
Speaker 3: And he was very low key, and I was I cann't.
Speaker 3: I was like, are you on edibles? What he was like?
Speaker 3: He seemed like an excipy that was now just chilling
Speaker 3: at the Lexus dealers.
Speaker 4: Sure okay?
Speaker 3: And when I called him so like, I brought it
Speaker 3: in at ten a m. Went to work, and then
Speaker 3: later on in the day I got an email that
Speaker 3: was like, do you approve all these charges? And I
Speaker 3: wasn't being charged anything for what I brought it in for,
Speaker 3: but then there's my charges for my new idea of
Speaker 3: window tinting, and it said that I didn't approve those charges.
Speaker 3: So I called him on the phone number on the
Speaker 3: email and it's it's his direct line and he's like, hellllo.
Speaker 3: That's how he answered the phone. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: hi whatever, his name is, Bob, this is charm of philigraphy.
Speaker 3: Just left me a message and he was like.
Speaker 4: I know, Karen.
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh, so you meant to answer
Speaker 3: the phone like that, Oh wow, hell lo oh hellllo.
Speaker 3: It was like he had just gotten off on Friday afternoon,
Speaker 3: rolled his windows down. It was really hilarious.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: That's and we've talked about how our mom's answered phones Hello,
Speaker 6: okay my mom.
Speaker 4: I think my mom would go hell hello, like worried.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, and my dad I just go hello, and
Speaker 6: which is what I do now.
Speaker 3: And my dad goes hello, And then my friends would
Speaker 3: go with Careen there, and then I'd get on the
Speaker 3: phone they go are you in trouble? And I'd be
Speaker 3: like no, why what are you talking about?
Speaker 4: My sister's friends. I remember them being intimidated or scared
Speaker 4: of my dad's hello Hello, But he wasn't mad.
Speaker 3: Now just we say hello, weird, just dad. My family yeah,
Speaker 3: just kind of shouty, like you're you're just wrapping up
Speaker 3: yelling at someone to turn off the bathroom light, and
Speaker 3: then you answer the phone in the same voice.
Speaker 4: That's because that's a light ste of electricity. That's why Hello.
Speaker 3: Don't slum on the corn door.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I I People always think that when I it
Speaker 6: always I've got to change the way because you're supposed
Speaker 6: to say it like a question like Hello, who.
Speaker 4: Could it be? I'm so curious.
Speaker 6: I I just say hello and then and then always
Speaker 6: people stop and they're like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought
Speaker 6: it was a joke greeting. Yes, I thought you were
Speaker 6: going to keep talking.
Speaker 3: Because you're saying hello, like the phone call the phone
Speaker 3: movie from the.
Speaker 4: Movie Yeah Hello. Tonight's features are me talking to you
Speaker 4: right now at a thirty, which is the time right now.
Speaker 6: In other words, please say something so we can have
Speaker 6: a conversation, and then I hang up. I'd like to
Speaker 6: be very I don't even talk on the phone anymore anyway,
Speaker 6: I know.
Speaker 3: Anyway, it's so sad.
Speaker 4: It is sad.
Speaker 3: I do have a couple of friends who like talking
Speaker 3: on the phone.
Speaker 4: I talk. Yes, there's some people, Yes, there are some people.
Speaker 3: Of course, sisters always talk on the phone.
Speaker 4: Yes, you know how they be? And you had did
Speaker 4: you were you this weekend? Did you go anywhere?
Speaker 3: No? No, the last weekend? Was it last week?
Speaker 4: You were somewhere?
Speaker 3: Yes, last week and I was somewhere. That's when I
Speaker 3: was in Madison and Minneapolis with our friend Michelle Balloon.
Speaker 3: She's the best, She's she's number one. We had a
Speaker 3: real good time. I met her sisters.
Speaker 6: Isn't it fun to meet specifically her sister, but just
Speaker 6: fraternal twin sisters, Martha Kelly's sister. When someone has the
Speaker 6: same mannerisms and the same face sort of, but Michelle's
Speaker 6: sisters riddled with tattoos, and it's a punk rock version
Speaker 6: of Michelle. They couldn't look more different and different. But
Speaker 6: her is also funny and dry. But it just takes
Speaker 6: a while, yeah, to find.
Speaker 3: Out she's like more subtle. Yeah, wait, Martha Kelly's also
Speaker 3: a twin.
Speaker 6: Yes, and her sister is. She's like a submissive dominatrix.
Speaker 6: She wrote a book about it. She's like a sex worker.
Speaker 6: Whoa And Martha has always been you know, people think
Speaker 6: she might work in a library or something, just the
Speaker 6: way she carries herself is then so low key talking.
Speaker 4: She's super funny.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and her they have the same voice, but they're
Speaker 6: just a little When I first met Martha's sister, I
Speaker 6: just started laughing at her, like she started talking and
Speaker 6: she said good to me, you sir, and.
Speaker 4: It was some version of Martha, and I couldn't take it.
Speaker 4: It just made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 3: That's so funny. Wow, that's fascinating.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 6: I do enjoy meeting siblings of people I've known for
Speaker 6: almost a decade and then all of a sudden, there's
Speaker 6: this new person.
Speaker 4: That is a version of them.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it doesn't have to be twins, but it helps, just.
Speaker 3: Helps to make it make sense.
Speaker 6: It helps to make me laugh at their face if
Speaker 6: they are. But yeah, and I brought I still have
Speaker 6: all these shirts that we printed. Oh yeah, and they
Speaker 6: look beautiful and I brought them there, and of course
Speaker 6: they just didn't seem like there would be a point
Speaker 6: where I'm hanging out at a table selling them. They
Speaker 6: didn't have like merch tables. So oh, I flew back
Speaker 6: with them. But we got to find a way for now.
Speaker 6: Maybe if you contact me on Twitter at at Chris Fairbanks,
Speaker 6: I can just send people shirts put them in a Yeah,
Speaker 6: I have larges, I have smalls.
Speaker 4: I could go through all of them. I think I
Speaker 4: have everything. I don't have double extra largest, but I
Speaker 4: have extra larges.
Speaker 3: I think, Oh, that's good. I feel like all the
Speaker 3: people that have ever tweeted us and said, please make
Speaker 3: another episode, you get a T shirt. Yes, but you're
Speaker 3: gonna have to self regulate because it's not like we've
Speaker 3: been writing your names down in a book or anything,
Speaker 3: or as we should have been if we had any manners.
Speaker 3: But if you are one of those people that has
Speaker 3: actively complained to us about not recording, we want to
Speaker 3: reward you for your care.
Speaker 4: Yes, are we we're giving them away?
Speaker 3: Uh? Oh no, No, you have to give us ninety dollars.
Speaker 6: They will be purchasable on a sliding scale according to
Speaker 6: your income in.
Speaker 4: The car you drive, yep.
Speaker 3: And also and then you're just your participation in this
Speaker 3: because for a long time we were doing this podcast
Speaker 3: and honestly, I think we've thought about thirty people listen
Speaker 3: to it. Yeah, I thought, And then when we stopped
Speaker 3: doing it, people really let us.
Speaker 4: Know more than thirty, let us know of them?
Speaker 3: No, right, unless they were re letting us know, and
Speaker 3: if they started different Twitter accounts to make us feel
Speaker 3: like more people cared, which would have been so beautiful. Oh,
Speaker 3: as I was driving around.
Speaker 6: The more bready Stenella's type accounts, you mean, yeah, and
Speaker 6: there's a baboon heart one.
Speaker 3: I think that was from this podcast.
Speaker 6: Right, Oh, I don't know, No, I don't that. Maybe
Speaker 6: Yead has to be the bamboo about my dream.
Speaker 3: Bab boon Heart.
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe not. I'm not going to pretend that that
Speaker 4: rings a bell.
Speaker 3: I can't really remember either. It was some I don't know.
Speaker 4: Maybe it had maybe it was a murder reference.
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: Though.
Speaker 3: It's hard. The amount of recording of casual conversations that
Speaker 3: I do of myself these days is egregiously too many, and.
Speaker 6: It's it's getting to the point where, like anyone's dad,
Speaker 6: I know, I repeat myself. I know I say the
Speaker 6: same thing over the time, all the time, over the time,
Speaker 6: over the all the time.
Speaker 3: I just think, as long as you enjoy the story,
Speaker 3: you can repeat it.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 6: My fear, though, is that the story will change because
Speaker 6: I'm telling a liar's version the second time.
Speaker 3: I support all embellishments as long as we're being entertained
Speaker 3: while the story's happening, it doesn't have to be one
Speaker 3: hundred percent.
Speaker 6: I was taught as a young person that it's okay
Speaker 6: to lie and it makes this story better.
Speaker 4: Isn't that curious?
Speaker 3: No, that's I I agree with that one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: Don't lie like you're the best person or whatever. Don't
Speaker 3: like don't go crazy with the factual. It's the details
Speaker 3: that you can embell it, right, Jush him up a
Speaker 3: little bit. Make it new for me if I've heard
Speaker 3: it three times, just make it new.
Speaker 4: Good. See, that's all I'm doing, right, I'm not lying.
Speaker 3: It is not that big of a deal.
Speaker 6: We're never driving me to my beach home. We're headed
Speaker 6: towards the ocean and we can pass, though I'd like
Speaker 6: to keep talking.
Speaker 4: We'll pass my.
Speaker 3: Place, Okay, Yeah, no, I want to drive to the ocean.
Speaker 3: I haven't live I've lived in Los Angeles for twenty
Speaker 3: five years, perhaps maybe more.
Speaker 4: And you'd never go to the beach.
Speaker 3: I think I've been there three times, five all together.
Speaker 4: Isn't that funny?
Speaker 6: I always we would go from Montana all the way
Speaker 6: down to San Diego to visit my dad's cousins and
Speaker 6: my great grandma and Coronado, and yeah, it was nice.
Speaker 4: You're right to go.
Speaker 3: It's fancy.
Speaker 4: It's it's fancy there and and they were modest homes,
Speaker 4: but they're in beautiful place. It's end.
Speaker 6: And they never we would want to go to the
Speaker 6: beach and they're like, oh, we we haven't gone there
Speaker 6: in years.
Speaker 4: They were walking distance from the best beach ever. And
Speaker 4: I always thought, what a waste. And now I'm one
Speaker 4: of these people.
Speaker 3: No, you do it too.
Speaker 4: I do go there, just walked out.
Speaker 6: But I thought if I ever lived by the ocean,
Speaker 6: I'd be swimming in it.
Speaker 4: I'd be surfing.
Speaker 6: I'd just become Laired Hamilton or his character Lance Burkhart
Speaker 6: from the movie North.
Speaker 4: Shore, and become a waterman. Sure, but I just kind
Speaker 4: of go there. And then I worry about sharks, and I, uh,
Speaker 4: I don't surf like I thought I would. I have
Speaker 4: a wet suit, I have a couple, I have a
Speaker 4: couple of boards.
Speaker 3: Surfing is though, uh, from what I've been told, And
Speaker 3: of course I've never even come close to doing anything
Speaker 3: like it, but very physically strenuous, full body workout. Am
Speaker 3: I wrong about this.
Speaker 6: It is the paddling and the getting out past waves
Speaker 6: is one of the most difficult things without drinking a
Speaker 6: bunch of water and panicking. One time I went surfing
Speaker 6: and I got drug by a jet ski and launched
Speaker 6: into a wave and immediately stood.
Speaker 4: Up and was able to surf.
Speaker 6: It is the standing out their stationery, waiting for a
Speaker 6: late wave, being able to catch it while on your
Speaker 6: belly and standing up and all of that. Just getting
Speaker 6: to that point, just getting out to be in the
Speaker 6: right spot without a wave just covering you and beating
Speaker 6: you up and making you almost drownd. I've never gotten
Speaker 6: good at that, and I've gone surfing maybe fifty times.
Speaker 4: God, it's very difficult. Good for you though, yeah, I'll
Speaker 4: do it eventually.
Speaker 3: I would imagine it's low impact. But also all those
Speaker 3: like the negative ions are good for you. The sea salt,
Speaker 3: the salt water being in nature is good for you.
Speaker 4: The phosphorus inside of a jellyfish, that's that's always bad
Speaker 4: for you. That's actually that was a trick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's about Please don't eat jellyfish out of
Speaker 3: the water, but just freehand.
Speaker 4: Let a professional filet.
Speaker 3: At first look at this exciting the other. The other
Speaker 3: thing is I find it exciting to be down here
Speaker 3: with all the people look.
Speaker 4: At Yeah, this is this is my this is my hango,
Speaker 4: that's Hanano's. That's a bar. I go tomorrow, then I
Speaker 4: probably should or want people to know.
Speaker 3: Look, wait, should I go right here down the street? Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I've made a terrible mistake going down here.
Speaker 6: I believe that our only choice now is to pay
Speaker 6: for parking in that lot.
Speaker 3: No fucking way.
Speaker 6: So we're going to turn right here, Okay, great and
Speaker 6: go past this guy that has a giant staff that
Speaker 6: lights up and he has his shirt off, so it's
Speaker 6: some sort of wizard.
Speaker 3: Hello sir, oh, hello kind of man.
Speaker 4: He does seem kind in the face, and he heard
Speaker 4: everything we're saying.
Speaker 3: He also looked like some He looked like someone that
Speaker 3: didn't belong here, just like me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he had kind of a lost puppy dog look
Speaker 4: in his eyes.
Speaker 3: I love that look.
Speaker 4: I like her all white. Look, she's gonna get a stain.
Speaker 3: However, that's the thing. The people down here in Venice
Speaker 3: viach area are good looking, right, that's the whole idea.
Speaker 3: You move down here, you've got small shorts, you know,
Speaker 3: you're like, hey, it's me, look at my thing.
Speaker 4: I guess, so I don't.
Speaker 6: I go to other parts of town though, because I've
Speaker 6: been in Venice this whole time that I've been.
Speaker 4: Since two thousand and three.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I go to like Los Feliz or Hollywood,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, wow, these people are good looking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that's the whole place.
Speaker 4: This whole city is just riddled with handsome.
Speaker 3: Faced It's really is, you know, the people I'm the
Speaker 3: most jealous of, and I think they don't appreciate it enough.
Speaker 3: It's people who have even skin tone.
Speaker 4: Oh, people without any level of blotchiness.
Speaker 3: Yes, people without any vain issues, without any just weird freckles.
Speaker 4: And I don't know you to have any barrachosis.
Speaker 3: I do. I have all the things you don't want
Speaker 3: that if you want to wear shorts, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I suppose. I don't know.
Speaker 6: I haven't really analyzed my skin tone evenness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet because you have even skin tone, you
Speaker 3: don't have to analyze it. Oh, you're right, that's what
Speaker 3: I'm saying.
Speaker 4: I'm one of these people.
Speaker 3: You're exactly who I hate. And I'm glad I can
Speaker 3: tell you yo, Yes, it doesn't matter if you're black,
Speaker 3: oh white?
Speaker 4: Hey, can I tell you.
Speaker 6: About the time that young Zach galifanackets without a beard,
Speaker 6: like a long time ago, came to Austin and he
Speaker 6: went he was performing at our Bad Dog Comedy Theater,
Speaker 6: and he hired two guys that had a dance studio.
Speaker 6: They were like hip hop and also classically trained dancers.
Speaker 6: These two big African American dudes, and one one, during
Speaker 6: one of his songs, he said the N word while
Speaker 6: playing piano, and the audience even was like, oh, but
Speaker 6: it just.
Speaker 4: Rhymed and it was a ridiculous song.
Speaker 6: And then this one of the guys in the audience,
Speaker 6: but it just seemed like a guy that was in
Speaker 6: the crowd said Hey, I don't like it when white
Speaker 6: people use that word.
Speaker 4: He's like, oh, I'm sorry, sir.
Speaker 6: And then another guy said I don't like it either,
Speaker 6: and they both came down to the stage and everyone's like, oh, no,
Speaker 6: he's gonna get beat up by two guys that don't
Speaker 6: even seem to know each other. And then Michael Jackson's
Speaker 6: Black or White started to play and they had choreographed
Speaker 6: this whole dance. Oh and she was like they were
Speaker 6: holding him up in the air and these guys were
Speaker 6: doing spins and more like like they were ballet trained,
Speaker 6: big muscly dudes. What was the best thing I'd ever seen?
Speaker 6: It's like, who is this guy?
Speaker 4: He's gonna be famous and he is famous now.
Speaker 3: That's so funny. I love that he's been doing like that,
Speaker 3: things like that for so long.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Another time he came and he hired like a barber
Speaker 6: shop for these guys that sang on a street corner
Speaker 6: and they sang during his act.
Speaker 4: It was great.
Speaker 3: When I worked on his talk show, he did a
Speaker 3: number one time where he it was a monologue that
Speaker 3: then he said, so he made a joke about calling
Speaker 3: someone on the phone and then went into a full
Speaker 3: dance number to ELO's telephone line. Oh yeah, hello, yes,
Speaker 3: hallai you and this team of dancers came out behind him,
Speaker 3: one of whom was Kevin Federline. Before he was famous
Speaker 3: with Pretty Scary.
Speaker 4: I do know that he was a professional backup dancer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well he was for on our show too, and
Speaker 3: like it was like twenty dancers doing a full routine
Speaker 3: with Zach.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 3: Clearly he's had dreams of dancing.
Speaker 6: For yes, a long he's always had dancing dreams. Yeah,
Speaker 6: what if he has dance nightmares? Oh, where you're at
Speaker 6: a recital and it's your turn and then your legs
Speaker 6: can't move.
Speaker 4: That would be the dance nightmare I'd have.
Speaker 3: And no one likes your your outfit, yeah, or the.
Speaker 4: Way you interpret a song through body movement.
Speaker 3: No one likes your body movements. No one likes your
Speaker 3: weird body. Your waist is too long and your legs
Speaker 3: are too short.
Speaker 6: I've been wanting to shorten my waist and lengthen my legs,
Speaker 6: and I thought that through surgery, I could maybe do that.
Speaker 3: You tried with that one hit.
Speaker 4: Well I did.
Speaker 6: I was like, can we make that and then later
Speaker 6: we'll do the other one, But can we make it
Speaker 6: a little longer?
Speaker 3: And you would be.
Speaker 4: Too tight, your muscles wouldn't stretch, and I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: we can't lengthen my muscles. Then he said no, that
Speaker 4: would be very expensive.
Speaker 3: I would have flung you the money. I want to
Speaker 3: see that.
Speaker 4: Well, it's you want me to see with one long leg, and.
Speaker 3: Normally I would love one long leg on you.
Speaker 6: I kind of want to see me with that too,
Speaker 6: just for a year until I can afford to do
Speaker 6: the other leg.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you have a kind of gangster stroll walk
Speaker 3: about you. But people are like, Chris, don't walk like that.
Speaker 3: You're not that doesn't that's cultural appropriation. You're like, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: it's just how my legs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not something I'm doing.
Speaker 6: It's the issue is I'm five nine and also five
Speaker 6: eleven depending on.
Speaker 3: And you get one really awesome wedge shoe, like a
Speaker 3: really large kind of a Gene Simmons boot.
Speaker 6: My fear always was that I would have to because
Speaker 6: when I was young and one of the times I
Speaker 6: broke my foot, I broke something called a growth plate,
Speaker 6: and I said, it's that bad. Does that mean if
Speaker 6: I grow anymore, I'm gonna have one leg, one little leg.
Speaker 6: Because my fear is always having one of those one
Speaker 6: black shoe that.
Speaker 4: Has a thick barle.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it always seems like that would be just shoe
Speaker 6: buying alone has to be this big ordeal or you
Speaker 6: have to go to a cobbler and have added rubber.
Speaker 3: The amount of errands that you would have to start doing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all the times you'd have to drive across town
Speaker 4: a bunch of times, just because you've got new shoes,
Speaker 4: not to mention when you're naked, one of your legs
Speaker 4: it's shorter than the other.
Speaker 3: It's just that, I mean. But then there are people
Speaker 3: who are into that.
Speaker 4: Look right, there is.
Speaker 3: A a lid for every pot, and I think that
Speaker 3: maybe I do have one of those feet.
Speaker 4: No one's ever watched me walk and say, oh, clearly
Speaker 4: you're fully symmetrical.
Speaker 3: No, I've never heard anyone say that.
Speaker 4: No one's ever said that about me.
Speaker 3: If someone said that about you, I would definitely tell
Speaker 3: you what such a lovely cook.
Speaker 4: And have people been saying about me? Cares?
Speaker 3: They just mostly say the more the thing about your hair.
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm, well it's the reason I checked my bag.
Speaker 4: Good news.
Speaker 6: I have Moroccan oil based hair mask. And I know
Speaker 6: what you're thinking, isn't a mask for just your face?
Speaker 3: Well no, no, hell no.
Speaker 6: This is a highly forty five, very strong conditionery. It's
Speaker 6: almost dangerous to leave it in for more than five
Speaker 6: minutes because your hair will just turn to a feather
Speaker 6: that will blow away.
Speaker 3: It's so soft, so gorgeous, and so for Morocco.
Speaker 6: And and my friend Brianna got me all these nice
Speaker 6: hair care products that those things are expensive. I'm gonna
Speaker 6: have the fluffiest hair. No more pubic dry fro for
Speaker 6: this guy. No, I'm gonna have the most beautiful.
Speaker 4: Soft hair.
Speaker 6: But I had to check my bag because it was
Speaker 6: all more than four ounces.
Speaker 3: I love Moroccan hair oil a lot. I love the smell.
Speaker 4: You're familiar with the product, Oh hell yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, don't bring a product to me I'm not
Speaker 3: familiar with. I dare you.
Speaker 6: I have Moroccan, I have the hair mask, I have
Speaker 6: a palmade, I have a oil.
Speaker 4: That I drip onto my scalp. Yeah, I am gonna
Speaker 4: be My hair is gonna.
Speaker 3: Be great, and you're gonna smell wonderful, which I think
Speaker 3: really is should be your concern.
Speaker 6: I don't know what I'm preparing for to have all
Speaker 6: this gorgeous hair, like about an awards show.
Speaker 4: I don't know. We're just gonna have nice hair from
Speaker 4: now on.
Speaker 3: But that's the thing, is it. It's you don't have
Speaker 3: to know what you're preparing for. As long as you're prepared,
Speaker 3: you'll be ready.
Speaker 4: If you are dressed for success, success will be your clothing.
Speaker 3: And that's also the Tito's Taco jingle let success be
Speaker 3: your clothing. Tito's Tacos weird.
Speaker 4: I thought it's just a place where I got diarrheas
Speaker 4: so bad it felt like I was pooping a swarm
Speaker 4: of bees. But that's success. They also have a wardrobe department.
Speaker 3: Well that's success.
Speaker 4: Uh CLO's I love Tito's tacos. You love Tito's too.
Speaker 4: I love Tito's tacos. What else can you do?
Speaker 6: I think they also have delicious Britos into Alata's chips
Speaker 6: and salsa too.
Speaker 4: The only thing better than the Tito's taco is two.
Speaker 4: I don't know why I have every commercial jingle memorized
Speaker 4: from my entire life.
Speaker 3: Well, they're not that hard to memorize, since Tito's Tacos
Speaker 3: use the word two to rhyme two the entire job.
Speaker 4: I got the breakdown that we also have delicious Brito's chips.
Speaker 4: It's also into lattice too. The only thing better than
Speaker 4: a Tito's taco is too.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, no, I need another pass on that song.
Speaker 3: It's there's It is the laziest writing. It is a
Speaker 3: list of things on the menu list, and then it's
Speaker 3: just putting using two and two and two as many
Speaker 3: times as you fucking feel like it.
Speaker 4: I just know that I have a gift for remembering jingles.
Speaker 4: That's all. I just want you to say, I have
Speaker 4: a gift.
Speaker 3: You have a gift. Thank you. It's amazing. I love
Speaker 3: hearing that song you were able to recite at two times,
Speaker 3: which is the key to Tito's tacos. Apparently.
Speaker 6: I think I was just raised in front of a
Speaker 6: TV when I was younger, and and then so I
Speaker 6: memorized all these old like we're in the money with
Speaker 6: a scholarship from Crest or whatever. It's too all these
Speaker 6: It was a specific commercial for promotion with Crest, and
Speaker 6: it's been in my head since I was eleven years old.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, because that's the time. You were probably alone
Speaker 3: in front of the TV. So you're maybe a little scared.
Speaker 3: Everything was open.
Speaker 4: Yep, you were like.
Speaker 3: I have to patent and everything just in case something happens.
Speaker 6: It really is important to make kids read, I think
Speaker 6: because I didn't, and I think I would have had
Speaker 6: so much knowledge now if I just had to hit
Speaker 6: those books.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it would have been nice. Or watch smart
Speaker 3: person television like PBS.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, do your kids. Yeah, I know everything about
Speaker 4: antique Roads and their shows.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's one of my favorite shows. It
Speaker 3: is when a really old road is on this show. Wait,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna turn down here. How do I get to
Speaker 3: the motherfucking beat?
Speaker 4: Oh? Or water? It's always hard because you have to
Speaker 4: suddenly not be in the car.
Speaker 3: They Oh no, I just want to drive along like
Speaker 3: the one. Did I miss that?
Speaker 4: Oh no, we will have to go a little further.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, but okay.
Speaker 6: Because it's around the Hotel California, or the hotel where
Speaker 6: Billy Bob Thornton lives in the show Goliath. That you
Speaker 6: turn left and then it goes down a ramp and
Speaker 6: then all of a sudden you're on the You're in
Speaker 6: an Eagles song.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. The only thing is
Speaker 3: we can't do directions based on the TV show Goliath,
Speaker 3: since I just didn't don't know what that is.
Speaker 4: Right there, there's a yellow sign up there. You have
Speaker 4: to go that far. Fuck, It's okay, we can get
Speaker 4: back in. I think.
Speaker 3: I'll just sit here the whole time.
Speaker 4: I really like doing comedy. Now, let's do stand up somewhere. Okay,
Speaker 4: let's go to an open mind kidding I do not
Speaker 4: want to do that. I do not want to, but
Speaker 4: I do want to be my job again.
Speaker 3: You know where this is. You know where we are
Speaker 3: right now. We're at the hotel shutters. That's that right now.
Speaker 3: Oh just fancy, Yeah, come down there to have affairs
Speaker 3: on the weekend. I want to do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it looked like Victorian. There was fancy lattice
Speaker 4: and curved wood carving.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really fancy, all white. I knew my friend
Speaker 3: Nancy had her baby shower there and I was like, yes,
Speaker 3: but there's always people that are like I'm meeting them.
Speaker 3: It's shutters for the weekend, and like, that's I'm into that.
Speaker 3: I want to that's my I want that to be
Speaker 3: my next phase.
Speaker 4: Of life, meeting friends, shutters from Mimosa.
Speaker 3: Affairs affairs, straight up weekend affairs.
Speaker 4: We'll go to Ashley Madison dot com.
Speaker 3: I hear women come joined for free because there's none
Speaker 3: on there. That's my favorite like fraud thing of all
Speaker 3: time is that all those men on Ashley Madison were
Speaker 3: just talking to other men or bots.
Speaker 4: My friend Sharon Houston found she's found an email like
Speaker 4: and she her boyfriend was on there and she was like,
Speaker 4: well I've found that we're all done. Oh but now
Speaker 4: it's lots of a big deal because there was no
Speaker 4: real person he was talking to. You should get back
Speaker 4: together with him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, God, he was out there looking for a robot
Speaker 3: he wanted. Also, that's so stupid because they weren't married.
Speaker 3: Just break up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I know, I hate that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just don't humiliate someone. Just break up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't humiliate them just because you like the thrill
Speaker 4: of the hunt. You can kind to tell her the hunt.
Speaker 3: I'm a big strong man.
Speaker 6: So this this show and this bar, it's Chez j
Speaker 6: or shay.
Speaker 4: J Okay, I believe it's French.
Speaker 6: Okay, Chez and this hoteler and that show Goliath, and
Speaker 6: it's it's a great show.
Speaker 4: You should watch it anyway.
Speaker 6: And that's how we know to turn left up this
Speaker 6: hard to pronounce street.
Speaker 3: But Goliath itself, what channel? Like, when did it start?
Speaker 6: I believe it was an Amazon series? Okay, one season.
Speaker 6: I don't know if it's coming back.
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 6: But he's like he's a private eyr or a lawyer. Okay,
Speaker 6: maybe I didn't pay that much attention to it, but
Speaker 6: he was great and.
Speaker 4: It it's a very good job. It looks most of
Speaker 4: it was shot there.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: And let's here we are. Here's the pch.
Speaker 3: Movemart A Hico on ramp. Here we go. Look at
Speaker 3: how moody and fascinating it.
Speaker 4: Looks right now we should go to Moonshadows.
Speaker 5: Moon Shadows, Moonshotine jezed by a moon Show moon Shadow
Speaker 5: moon Shadow.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, oh yeah, that's James Taylors.
Speaker 4: And so's this damn fis traffic jam? How I hate
Speaker 4: to be late? Hurts my motive to go? So time
Speaker 4: again home? My supper bee called, damn this traffic jam. Well,
Speaker 4: I left my job about five o'clock, took fifteen minutes
Speaker 4: before a street box, just in time. It's a standard
Speaker 4: line with the freeway looking like a parking lot.
Speaker 6: I said, damn, dra jam, How it hates to be
Speaker 6: He says hates to be late.
Speaker 3: Oh good, that's not you saying that, No.
Speaker 4: He is. That is the first rap song I ever heard,
Speaker 4: though James Taylor.
Speaker 6: A lot of people it was Blondie that started rap,
Speaker 6: but it was actually James Taylor.
Speaker 3: Blondie was the very first rapper, right, Yeah, Driving in
Speaker 3: cars and you go to bars and you don't get
Speaker 3: far if you have a car and you drive all night.
Speaker 3: Then you see a light and it comes right down
Speaker 3: and it lands on the corner. Comes a man from
Speaker 3: Mars and you try to run, but he's got a
Speaker 3: gun and you shoots your dead and he eats your head.
Speaker 3: Now you're in the man from Mars. You go out
Speaker 3: at and you're eating cars. That's the worst fucking wrap
Speaker 3: of all time.
Speaker 4: I really like that you have it memorized.
Speaker 3: Oh I actually one day did it. That song came
Speaker 3: on the radio when I was in the volvol with
Speaker 3: my mom and my sister, and I started doing that
Speaker 3: and they my mom had to stop the car. She
Speaker 3: was laughing so hard because I knew every single word
Speaker 3: of That's the best. I was very proud. I love
Speaker 3: Here we are on Whoops.
Speaker 4: On the most dangerous road in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: Seriously, is fucking insane that anyone.
Speaker 6: Drives on It is always scary, and everyone always drives
Speaker 6: like they have something to prove.
Speaker 3: Well, if you're driving on the one North, that means
Speaker 3: that you might probably you're either on vacation or you
Speaker 3: live in Malibu. Either way, you have an entitlement issue.
Speaker 3: You think that either you're on vacation so you should
Speaker 3: be going as slow as you want, or you live
Speaker 3: in Malibu, which means you don't have to adhere to
Speaker 3: any driving rules whatsoever.
Speaker 6: And those are the people that they do like U turns.
Speaker 6: I got to move my car and they will casually
Speaker 6: do a U turn in this six lane freeway. Yeah,
Speaker 6: and there's always racks. This is always where you see
Speaker 6: a gnarled Lamborghini.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 6: You know, there's always a scary sports car rex fast
Speaker 6: and furious type crashes.
Speaker 4: It makes me nervous to even think about.
Speaker 3: I think, isn't this where where Caitlyn Jennings got into
Speaker 3: that terrible cars?
Speaker 4: Now, no one talked about that.
Speaker 6: It was a what a diversionary tactic to just switch
Speaker 6: the subject to I'm I'm gonna hey, I know, I
Speaker 6: just murdered someone a neighbor, like he ran into a
Speaker 6: neighbor and ended up being a neighbor of his.
Speaker 3: That's horrible.
Speaker 4: And then I don't know if charges were going to
Speaker 4: be I feel like that.
Speaker 6: Then it was like, wait, I'm gonna be a woman now,
Speaker 6: and ever it's like, well that's bigger news.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like, is that the order that it is. Yeah,
Speaker 4: is it?
Speaker 6: I remember vividly because I'm like, wait, we're just talking
Speaker 6: about this now, what about Because it was around the
Speaker 6: time I guess he was on I didn't ever watch
Speaker 6: the Kardashian Show, but he was just kind of growing
Speaker 6: his hair long and talking about it. But the actual
Speaker 6: transition announcement and the everything you.
Speaker 4: Need to do.
Speaker 3: But he wasn't found guilty or like when when the
Speaker 3: police did their report.
Speaker 6: Maybe that's all that bothers me because I think there's
Speaker 6: a look on his face when he was looking at
Speaker 6: the wreckage, and it was like he didn't care. He
Speaker 6: just was like casually looking at a crushed car. Oh no,
Speaker 6: And he just had this blank look on his face,
Speaker 6: And I'm like, what is wrong with you?
Speaker 3: Shock?
Speaker 4: Maybe he's in shock.
Speaker 6: It's possible you're just defending him because you like weedy.
Speaker 3: I'm defending him because I want to live in Malibu
Speaker 3: one day. I've decided, aside from my shutters Affairs weekend,
Speaker 3: which I'm not really sure where that came from, but
Speaker 3: for real, I want I think I want to live.
Speaker 3: I think my goal is to have a house, or
Speaker 3: at least like I want to go to the beach,
Speaker 3: a beach house that's literally on the beach, like Malibu
Speaker 3: style for the weekend, one of those ones where there's
Speaker 3: like a glass patio or some kind of.
Speaker 4: I'm glad that you want to start appreciating the beach
Speaker 4: you've only been two three times.
Speaker 3: I'm just I don't know, I'm restless or something like,
Speaker 3: I just want to I want life to be slightly
Speaker 3: different coming.
Speaker 4: Up here on the right.
Speaker 6: But it's up on the side of the hill, so
Speaker 6: it's it's just as good as being right on the beach.
Speaker 6: There is this little trailer park. There's like mobile homes
Speaker 6: on it. Oh yeah, and it's not fancy at all,
Speaker 6: but it is the coolest thing ever. And I guess
Speaker 6: celebrity is rough up there, but I've always wanted to
Speaker 6: live there.
Speaker 3: I've seen you know who I think. I think Flannigan
Speaker 3: used to have a trailer there, really, yes, because he's
Speaker 3: big into he would go to the beach every weekend
Speaker 3: with his family.
Speaker 4: God, I admire him.
Speaker 3: And yous have very similar hair.
Speaker 4: Gosh, I wish I had more in common with him.
Speaker 4: An accent.
Speaker 3: It'd be nice you could do that accent. I don't
Speaker 3: know Jesus, it's not that heart.
Speaker 4: I turned into it a cartoon character from a serial
Speaker 4: box Oh, Patrick Sharroad House.
Speaker 3: I turn in a pope.
Speaker 4: Everything turns to tig. She'll tell his story. But we
Speaker 4: for a.
Speaker 6: While, we were just doing Popeye and sort of a
Speaker 6: Popeye leprechaunvoice around the house for an entire year, and
Speaker 6: we were talking.
Speaker 4: She's like, all right. Then I'm like, okay, taken out
Speaker 4: the garbage now.
Speaker 6: And I went out to the garbage and a neighbor
Speaker 6: that I'd never talked to in the alley started started
Speaker 6: a conversation with me, and I kept and I was like,
Speaker 6: I just kept talking that way, and he thought I
Speaker 6: was a crazy person.
Speaker 3: Yes, he was like, I knew I shouldn't have talked
Speaker 3: to that dude. I knew it.
Speaker 6: It was a weird time for me to get to
Speaker 6: know him. But then he hired me to do some
Speaker 6: children's book drawings for him, so it all ended up.
Speaker 3: I hope he was a children's book author.
Speaker 4: I hope it ended up being a book. I ended
Speaker 4: up moving and I lost contact with him.
Speaker 3: God, I hope he was using those for good and
Speaker 3: not evil.
Speaker 6: A lot of people no one's talking about the evil
Speaker 6: children's book rings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, where they just look at children's book art all
Speaker 3: the time. It's not for books.
Speaker 4: Well, no, it's written in a way. And I didn't
Speaker 4: mean to know and you, but what I meant, there's
Speaker 4: subliminal messages in the children's book that teaches kids to
Speaker 4: be evil. I want my drawings to be used that way.
Speaker 3: I see yours is it? You're taking a different choose
Speaker 3: your own adventure with this concept, I.
Speaker 6: See, And I'm really I really regret to Basically, you said,
Speaker 6: freeze everyone, I'm.
Speaker 4: A cop, and I said, no, you're not a cop,
Speaker 4: You're Karen. What are you talking about it?
Speaker 3: But you know why, because we're comics and improv goes
Speaker 3: against everything we believe in as people. It improv isn't right.
Speaker 3: It isn't it's we were raised to believe that it's
Speaker 3: a fight for the best idea.
Speaker 4: Right, right, you're right.
Speaker 6: And that's maybe because I was in an improv group
Speaker 6: in Montana, and I think that I was always going
Speaker 6: for what I thought would be the best joke, and
Speaker 6: it would stifle the scene, the building and the it's like, yeah,
Speaker 6: you just got to laugh.
Speaker 4: But now we're all we just have to end it right.
Speaker 3: Well good, because then not only did I get a laugh,
Speaker 3: but I got the final word.
Speaker 4: So I won the argument if we were having one.
Speaker 3: I won the constant argument I am in with in
Speaker 3: my head with every person.
Speaker 4: Always fighting, at least myself in.
Speaker 3: My head, minimum, me, maximum, everybody else.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm trying to not be that way.
Speaker 3: I'm finding that the key to driving a pch is
Speaker 3: that it needs to be.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's this kind of scary, it's super scary.
Speaker 3: There's no benefit to I mean, I know that the
Speaker 3: ocean's right there, that's kind of exciting. That clouds look weird,
Speaker 3: and if you.
Speaker 4: Want to glance over to enjoy it, the only price
Speaker 4: you have to pay us wrapping around a fucking poole. Well, oh,
Speaker 4: you know when I should look over?
Speaker 3: What is that a dolphin?
Speaker 4: A dolphin? Cop? What is that a dolphin? Oh it's
Speaker 4: a dolphin.
Speaker 3: Catch. Oh that dolphin pulled me over? Shit, God damn it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: There's nothing really like convenient or normal or reasonable about
Speaker 3: living in Malibu, but it just seems like it would
Speaker 3: be so exciting.
Speaker 6: What I don't understand about it is when does it
Speaker 6: start and when does it end?
Speaker 4: Are we in Malibu. Now I don't know. I don't
Speaker 4: know either.
Speaker 3: We're near Gladstone's for Fish, which Blank Patch used to
Speaker 3: yell on stage. I can only think of blank Patch
Speaker 3: when I go by Gladstone's for Fish because it's the
Speaker 3: number four on the sign. Uh And that's so to
Speaker 3: me forever that will be blank a Patch.
Speaker 4: He blurts out the best product.
Speaker 3: Name fucking his joke where he's as Tonight's show is
Speaker 3: brought to you by Ed Hardy, Ed Ed Hardy, No, sorry,
Speaker 3: by ax Body Spray, Ax Body Spray. It's Ed Hardy
Speaker 3: for blind people.
Speaker 4: Oh man, that's the best joke.
Speaker 3: It's the best joke.
Speaker 4: That was.
Speaker 6: Those were the glory days of when he would consistently
Speaker 6: host Tiger Lily Yeah at the Hollywood Bar and grill
Speaker 6: and have. He'd rather have twenty five of those yes
Speaker 6: commercial things every show.
Speaker 4: He was so great.
Speaker 3: They're so funny.
Speaker 4: He's still great, but he was once great also.
Speaker 3: He was so great, and now he's great.
Speaker 4: And now he's passed on to being another version of great.
Speaker 3: Should I go up coastline and get the fuck off
Speaker 3: the water.
Speaker 4: I'm so let's get the hell out of here before
Speaker 4: something terrible happened, right, Okay, BMW merceay, he's BMW BMW
Speaker 4: nty Nick Nolty.
Speaker 3: We got to go back, yeah, right, because I can't.
Speaker 6: That's it's gonna be a perfect timing because once we're back,
Speaker 6: we can wrap this Loving It episode up.
Speaker 3: Well, right now, we're in a tea intersection and we
Speaker 3: are basically across the intersection from US is the Pacific Ocean.
Speaker 4: There's three different ways we could commit double suicide homicide
Speaker 4: right now.
Speaker 6: Could just go straight into the ocean, yes, and kill
Speaker 6: ourselves like we're killing a bunch of kids. Yeah, in
Speaker 6: a minivan. I'm sorry, that's really happened. And if you
Speaker 6: know anyone that's ever done that with their kids, I
Speaker 6: didn't mean to make light of it. Or we get
Speaker 6: just launch out.
Speaker 4: You get classically tea boned, a classic tea bone.
Speaker 3: A classic t bone into traffic that's going sixty even
Speaker 3: though it's kind of like just a street, but all
Speaker 3: the cars are Porsches that are going sixty to eighty.
Speaker 4: I'll take that tea bone medium.
Speaker 3: You know what that's that's kind of like everything in
Speaker 3: a nutshell about Los Angeles, Like, deep down, I want
Speaker 3: to live in Malibu, but it seems dangerous and impossible
Speaker 3: that mudslides tsunamis. There's a lot of drawback. You have
Speaker 3: to be like a multi millionaire and no one wants
Speaker 3: you there.
Speaker 4: Right. My concern now, as I get older, I don't
Speaker 4: know why I'm worried about natural disaster because they keep happening.
Speaker 3: Yes, because they keep happening.
Speaker 6: But it's like I would I would consider it a
Speaker 6: privilege to have a giant wave come at me.
Speaker 4: And that be the way I go.
Speaker 6: Instead of a long about with colon cancer or whatever,
Speaker 6: or a tiger attacking me, or even a shark.
Speaker 4: Come on, Why am I scared of sharks? What a
Speaker 4: privilege to go that way? The story? Yeah, do you
Speaker 4: hear about fair? He was a comedian. He fought a
Speaker 4: shark and lost.
Speaker 3: I did.
Speaker 6: But no, I'm going to show up one day and
Speaker 6: be like I pee weird and and they're like, you
Speaker 6: have three weeks.
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, that's when I'm going to swim with
Speaker 4: the sharks all the time.
Speaker 3: Then you go, well, that's when you start jumbling down
Speaker 3: and going out.
Speaker 4: But I don't want to wait to have you rethrow
Speaker 4: an operative cancer. I want to swim with sharks now
Speaker 4: and I get out of the car and then to
Speaker 4: get hit by a car close enough.
Speaker 3: And then thanks for listening to do you need a rise?
Speaker 4: It's been our last episode, and from the street, I
Speaker 4: go hu, and then a shark jumps up.
Speaker 3: Snap done.
Speaker 4: Like I like that visual. I hope everyone followed it
Speaker 4: along with it, Yeah, with a picture in their brain.
Speaker 3: I think they must have. I don't think they had
Speaker 3: a choice.
Speaker 4: I really I was feeling really rusty, like I'd never
Speaker 4: had a conversation before when you picked me up. I
Speaker 4: think it's good that.
Speaker 6: I think I noticed that in the guests when we
Speaker 6: did more consistently go to the airport, that they were
Speaker 6: like kind of groggy or in a bad mood, or.
Speaker 4: It's amazing they wanted to do his podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the whole idea. This podcast has been intensely
Speaker 3: flawed from the beginning.
Speaker 4: Yes, but it's still a great idea.
Speaker 6: When I tell people what it is, and I still
Speaker 6: just so it doesn't have to get convoluted and talk
Speaker 6: about studios and how we both are out of town
Speaker 6: or whatever, I just say we pick up comics at
Speaker 6: the airport and record in the car, and everyone's like
Speaker 6: that is the best podcast idea. Yep, And I'm like,
Speaker 6: well you think it is until it's four o'clock and
Speaker 6: you're dropping off in Carmel or whatever.
Speaker 3: You almost get hit by the fucking black spot. What's
Speaker 3: the there's that one shuttle that's like yellow with black
Speaker 3: spots on it.
Speaker 4: Oh, the spot is a parking it's it's it's right
Speaker 4: there by the in and out.
Speaker 3: I hate it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, And they do not like it when you
Speaker 6: don't have a car there but you get dropped.
Speaker 3: Off there by an uber at the spot.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yell at you, please don't come here if you
Speaker 6: don't have your car, And I'm like, what are you
Speaker 6: talking about.
Speaker 4: I'm just getting a burger.
Speaker 3: Let me do my thing. Also, I have to say
Speaker 3: so I was just driving in circles for a while
Speaker 3: waiting for you come out, which is part of the agreement.
Speaker 3: That's not passive aggression complaining.
Speaker 4: I know it isn't, but I still feel bad. Continue,
Speaker 4: please don't feel bad.
Speaker 3: But a couple times like you were landed, so I
Speaker 3: would go in and pull over, and there they now
Speaker 3: have I don't know if they're cops or their security guards,
Speaker 3: but they're guys in black outfits with yellow reflective vests
Speaker 3: that charge your car like a bull when you pull
Speaker 3: over for a little while. Yeah, like they challenge the car.
Speaker 4: They will not let you cannot stop and put it
Speaker 4: in park and look for someone. If it looks like
Speaker 4: you're looking for someone in your car.
Speaker 3: Isn't moving, They're like, move it along.
Speaker 4: They go immediately to yelling.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 4: It is crazy.
Speaker 3: Those people must be on some kind of adderall right,
Speaker 3: just to have to like yell at cars all day
Speaker 3: and talk about.
Speaker 6: A job that has no spiritual fulfillment. Oh, just all day.
Speaker 4: You're the bad guy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, just you might have will be a debt collector
Speaker 6: or work for Time Warner cables.
Speaker 4: Behind bulletproof glass, which I.
Speaker 6: Don't think they have to do anymore. But you used
Speaker 6: to have to bring in this, yes, the bill, and
Speaker 6: here I'm done with you guys, and please don't yell
Speaker 6: at me. And then they're behind glass and they act
Speaker 6: however they want because that's right. But yeah, what I
Speaker 6: always thought, what a terrible job, or being a meter
Speaker 6: made or but.
Speaker 3: This one, I think this might be even worse than
Speaker 3: all of those, because they're ending exhaust. There's all that
Speaker 3: exhaust captured in those in those what do you call thems?
Speaker 3: Like where you pull over because it's just cars in
Speaker 3: a little half open tunnel.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna start calling the poles whatever you call thems.
Speaker 4: I'm in the terminal three of the seventh. Whatever you
Speaker 4: call them? What do you what do you say? What
Speaker 4: do you call it? Whatever you call it, whatever you
Speaker 4: call it, call them? It holds up there.
Speaker 3: That says whatever? I know?
Speaker 4: But what are they called? That's what I said, did Dick?
Speaker 4: But the early baseball comedy?
Speaker 3: Okay, here, this might be the way to do it.
Speaker 3: You go back along the water side and it's kind.
Speaker 6: Of cool because you can see the look how far
Speaker 6: away the Santa Monica bere is.
Speaker 4: You can see the ferris wheel, and yeah, isn't that fun?
Speaker 4: It's the Lost Boys. You're eating maggots, Michael God, But that.
Speaker 3: Was Santa Cruz, wasn't that.
Speaker 6: Yes, it's very deceiving because they said it was in
Speaker 6: San Demis, did they really?
Speaker 4: Yeah? But it was on the Santa Cruz Pier.
Speaker 3: What a film, What a great film.
Speaker 4: I loved it.
Speaker 3: I did too, It was so good. Well, first of all,
Speaker 3: it wasn't Diane Weese the mom.
Speaker 4: She was great.
Speaker 3: She is just oh, oh you do, no, you do?
Speaker 4: She is great?
Speaker 3: You do? What do you do?
Speaker 4: She was like a mom, and she had that i've
Speaker 4: just got over a sickness haircut always in her life.
Speaker 3: Oh she has it's a mom hair.
Speaker 4: But she was kind of i'm realizing right now, kind
Speaker 4: of a sexy lady the way she talked, well, sexy mom.
Speaker 4: What am I talking about, Karen.
Speaker 3: Look, this is the new thing these days. Look at
Speaker 3: those light of bikes like it's a.
Speaker 6: Rail, obnoxious hit a rock. I'm sorry they're having fun.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: I'm just jealous of their fun.
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too, I want fun. It's the reason I
Speaker 4: lash out of most people.
Speaker 3: And most bikes. Diane Lee's really quickly. Just to go
Speaker 3: back for one second, is the she is beautiful faced,
Speaker 3: but she's super low key yep, And so then she's
Speaker 3: always like the really understanding mom. She was also the
Speaker 3: mom in Footloose. That's what the impression on.
Speaker 4: Sure that I often do parenthood.
Speaker 3: Sure parenthood mom where she's a very believable mom, but
Speaker 3: she has this real beautiful, kind of very feminine softness
Speaker 3: to her. So she's never like the angrist she gets
Speaker 3: in parent It's hilarious because even if her angrious, she
Speaker 3: just still isn't.
Speaker 4: Acting that mad, right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: And that's the magic of Diane Wee's That's.
Speaker 4: Just good acting, is what that is.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 6: I enjoy the film Punch Drunk Love, and I feel like,
Speaker 6: always have thought that Adam Sandler's a good actor. And
Speaker 6: of course his own movies we all know they're ridiculous.
Speaker 6: But I watched this movie the other day called the
Speaker 6: The Meerwitz Stories.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 4: I did you like it?
Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't watch it. I saw it on
Speaker 3: the Netflix show it.
Speaker 6: There's so many specific family things, like he needs to
Speaker 6: get his hip replaced and he's just telling everyone it's
Speaker 6: his back.
Speaker 4: There's so many things. His dad's an artist, the sibling,
Speaker 4: the way they love each other, but there's a rivalry
Speaker 4: for the dad's attention even though he's when he's around
Speaker 4: the other sibling, he just brags about the one that
Speaker 4: isn't there and vice versa, so they all think that
Speaker 4: they love the other one more. Yeah, there's all these
Speaker 4: it's so good. It's such a good movie.
Speaker 6: Okay, it's Dustin Hoffmann is so good. Ben Stiller is
Speaker 6: so good in it. It's all those guys acting and
Speaker 6: there's not a lot of jokes in it.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's like a Woody Allen kind of movie. Facin's.
Speaker 6: I don't know why people aren't talking about it more.
Speaker 6: I won't put my money on it. If people watch
Speaker 6: it and they don't like it, I will judge them.
Speaker 3: You get a T shirt?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you get a tea shirt.
Speaker 6: Oh is okay? Never mind? I thought that guy's on
Speaker 6: the wrong side. I didn't say every reason to believe that, right.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's nothing about Highway One that isn't insanely very strange.
Speaker 4: There should not be a wall between us and a
Speaker 4: car right next to us going in the same direction.
Speaker 4: That should never be a visual.
Speaker 3: No, it looked like that car was being fed into
Speaker 3: going the wrong way, like going into oncoming tric.
Speaker 4: Really scared me. It just it really scared me. I
Speaker 4: started to sweat. But it's okay, nothing happened.
Speaker 3: It's almost like driving the one. You run this gauntlet,
Speaker 3: and if you can make it to your multimillion dollar
Speaker 3: beach house, you're even more relaxed. Yeah, when you get there.
Speaker 4: You appreciate your expensive home. Even more because you're not
Speaker 4: dead in it. That's right, You're alive. That's right, You've
Speaker 4: made it.
Speaker 3: You're finally alive for the first time.
Speaker 4: I imagine feeling.
Speaker 6: That every day at seven point thirty, when you're done
Speaker 6: driving through traffic that started at five pm.
Speaker 3: That is going to kill you every time. Then you
Speaker 3: get to your multimillion dollar all glass beach house.
Speaker 4: You make your food, yeah, and you go to bed.
Speaker 3: Well, you go to on the patio though, to eat
Speaker 3: the food. Oh okay, because that's the big payoff.
Speaker 4: But I just win.
Speaker 6: Someone is rich and they work hard to be rich,
Speaker 6: and they have to drive to get to their house,
Speaker 6: and there isn't a lot of time for you to
Speaker 6: just I'd like to just hang out.
Speaker 4: I don't like having jobs. I'm kind of lazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too, for sure.
Speaker 4: But you get jobs you work.
Speaker 3: I know, but I don't like it. I'm just a workaholic,
Speaker 3: just a workholic. Like I'm a aholic everything.
Speaker 6: When I have jobs, I have a work ethic. I
Speaker 6: just avoid it so I don't have to engage it.
Speaker 3: Yes, because it's kind of tiring, and yeah, my thing
Speaker 3: is that I have to We've talked about this million times,
Speaker 3: I just have to do something. I'm in a very
Speaker 3: strange point in my life where I have lots of
Speaker 3: great things happening and then also absolutely nothing at all happening.
Speaker 6: It's great, that's everyone's that's what everyone wants.
Speaker 3: I know it's true, But it means that I'm going
Speaker 3: to have to take a class or something. I'm going
Speaker 3: to because I don't. I don't go out enough. I
Speaker 3: don't like socialize enough. Right, it can't always be fucking
Speaker 3: stand up shows, right?
Speaker 4: I agree? Would you do something like an art class?
Speaker 3: I can't see myself doing anything.
Speaker 6: Maybe that's why you should do it, But I know
Speaker 6: what I said sounds wise, But no, if you don't
Speaker 6: want to do it, don't fucking do it.
Speaker 4: But like that's the reason you should start painting. You're
Speaker 4: scared of it. You're scared of it, don't you believe that?
Speaker 3: I am definitely scared.
Speaker 4: I hate it when people analyze.
Speaker 3: It, and I like the way that as what the
Speaker 3: audience doesn't know at home is As Chris was analyzing me,
Speaker 3: he was also doing a big, kind of round cartoonish
Speaker 3: point at me. Every time he'd point point right over,
Speaker 3: like a big cartoon bear warning me about something fire
Speaker 3: or picnic basket.
Speaker 4: Smoky the Bear, Smokey the Bear, rall and and a
Speaker 4: grell and and a sniff in the air. He can
Speaker 4: smell a fire before it starts to flame. Oh, Smokey
Speaker 4: the Bear. That's how he got his name.
Speaker 3: No, is that real?
Speaker 4: Fuck? Yeah, it's real. Fuck yeah, it's real. That's Smoky
Speaker 4: the Bear theme song.
Speaker 3: What did he have?
Speaker 4: So from the forties to the early sixties, it.
Speaker 3: Was on after Goliath.
Speaker 4: I know what my dad. My dad used to sing
Speaker 4: that to me.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that was good to put.
Speaker 4: Me to bed. You've warned me about fire.
Speaker 3: There's a bear that can smell smoke good night.
Speaker 4: Only he can say no. Only you can prevent forest fires. Yes,
Speaker 4: that's the bear's putting a lot on you. What if
Speaker 4: I don't, then I'll fucking eat you.
Speaker 3: You're the one wearing the fucking forest ranger outfit. You bear,
Speaker 3: it's your job.
Speaker 4: I don't. Yeah, I don't want some honorary government job
Speaker 4: where I have to help you with forest service duties.
Speaker 4: Not at age eight, I would get off on Lincoln. Maybe.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's see if I can.
Speaker 4: Oh, if you can't, it's okay. Be safe or be sorry.
Speaker 3: Well, this was quite a drive.
Speaker 4: It was quite a drive.
Speaker 3: Thank you for indulging me in my let's go to
Speaker 3: Malibu for no reason idea.
Speaker 4: No, I'm glad we did.
Speaker 6: I wish that my initial plan to be recording before
Speaker 6: you pick me up, where, of course my batteries were dead.
Speaker 4: So imagine if at the beginning of.
Speaker 6: This podcast I said this is do you need to
Speaker 6: write I'm about to get picked up? That would have
Speaker 6: been a first Yeah, I would have really enjoyed that.
Speaker 3: That would have been fun. And also if you had
Speaker 3: been wearing a little hat with the car that said
Speaker 3: press in it, and when you got into the car
Speaker 3: you acted like you were there to ask me some questions.
Speaker 4: I think it would also be great if I had
Speaker 4: all that. But I also had a chauffeur thing with
Speaker 4: your name on it. But you're the one picking up.
Speaker 4: It's like, what does that guy do?
Speaker 3: You show for yourself right into my car.
Speaker 4: And I'm interviewing people like who's that guy?
Speaker 3: Like, uh, Nick Broomfield, the British documentarian.
Speaker 4: James Adomian does that thing about the guy that.
Speaker 3: Does the oh oh, hule Houser fuels Well, let's what's
Speaker 3: that apricup jelly, that's just the mine really.
Speaker 4: One where he's talking to a border patrol agent and
Speaker 4: in the background you can see people running into America
Speaker 4: and it's terrific. So let's so, let's fence will keep them.
Speaker 6: And then people are just casually or they're stealing something
Speaker 6: or I don't know.
Speaker 4: It's funny. It was a funny juxtaposition.
Speaker 3: If you have never heard of heule Houser because you
Speaker 3: live in a different state, is this some one way street?
Speaker 4: No, No, it's good.
Speaker 3: Go onto YouTube. There's best of hul Hauser clip compilations. Yes,
Speaker 3: and it is some of the funniest, boring shit you've
Speaker 3: ever seen in your life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is the best.
Speaker 3: He points at anything and goes, this is a miasing.
Speaker 4: It'll just be a wet, dirty quilt.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let's get to see you, Karen.
Speaker 4: Let's have dinner.
Speaker 3: Yes please, I'm around.
Speaker 4: Okay, we're gonna go eat dinner. Why are you honking
Speaker 4: at us? There's a fucking person go through them. Sorry,
Speaker 4: I didn't mean that.
Speaker 3: Get up. I have this thing right now where it
Speaker 3: seems like there's a lot of people coming at us,
Speaker 3: like it feels challenging to drive right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's because it's the lighting. Oh you're yeah, it's
Speaker 4: so dark. It's it's but it's hazy. There's this uh
Speaker 4: what do you call it? Inversion? What did you call it?
Speaker 3: Yes, there's an offshore flow way? Am I going the
Speaker 3: right way?
Speaker 4: You're doing great?
Speaker 3: Am I?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 4: Great? Maybe we can eat? Uh oh we'll pick a place.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, Well I love it. It's good to see you.
Speaker 6: It's good to do another episode. You've been uh, you've
Speaker 6: been listening to? Do you need a ride?
Speaker 4: Y a r all? Hello to you?
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you clean, give us time
Speaker 2: and day turning on engage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you us inside. We want to
Speaker 1: welcome you back home.
Speaker 3: Tell us all about every scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need.
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris h