Speaker 1: Forever. Look may oh, I see you? Why look over there?
Speaker 1: How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, Hey everybody, thank you
Speaker 1: for coming to seek culture at Murmur Theater. Please help me.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the stage, Bowen Yang, Cat Cohen, Matt Rogers,
Speaker 1: and Pat Reagan. All right, why didn't we get those
Speaker 1: big church chairs? W Holt comfortable as someone who respects
Speaker 1: all cultures and all religions using a religious drowne for
Speaker 1: My Life podcast show. That's not what um, that's not
Speaker 1: what religious UNEs are for. Let's just get something out
Speaker 1: of the way really quick. I lost my voice. Say
Speaker 1: that again. I lost my voice. So Catherine has home
Speaker 1: ranged a vocal cords. And I'm not a doctor, but
Speaker 1: I think that's what happened. She's she's trying to communicate
Speaker 1: with us. She's trying to tell us something. The only
Speaker 1: thing I'll do into the mic is kiss what happened?
Speaker 1: What had happened was Katherine sneezed a little hard this morning,
Speaker 1: and she's gonna tell it herself. I'm not gonna sneezed
Speaker 1: in My chords started bleeding. So this is an amazing UM,
Speaker 1: I think learned teachable moment for all the young girls
Speaker 1: and Wow, that are experiencing sneeze as and they're saying
Speaker 1: was that too hard? Was that not hard enough? Like
Speaker 1: this is things male doctors don't really understand or talk
Speaker 1: about stars. They're just like us. Most of when you sneeze,
Speaker 1: you don't have to perform. Okay, it's for you. We
Speaker 1: are laughing, but there is pain. Katherine is very sad,
Speaker 1: but all so we said, this is a true test
Speaker 1: of an icon, the performer and obtainer. If you'd still
Speaker 1: be compelling on stage without making any sound, I mean
Speaker 1: that's I'm a physical comedian. Yeah, okay, Now I'm mad
Speaker 1: that she's crushing way harder than all of us with
Speaker 1: no voice. Um, I don't think she should be allowed
Speaker 1: to use the machine anymore. Yeah, we have to take
Speaker 1: something away. Oh my god. Wait, how is everyone machines
Speaker 1: will win? No one, no, no no one here cares about us.
Speaker 1: Catherine wants you to know that machines will win will Um. Well,
Speaker 1: it's very nice that you all came out to this
Speaker 1: show seek culture, which is an advice hour and a half. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've come with lots of questions. Um, all
Speaker 1: of your diseases already pre diagnosed, so that we don't
Speaker 1: have to diagnose them for you. You guys know there
Speaker 1: is a bar on the third floor, right, Do people
Speaker 1: know that there's a bar on the third floor. We were, yeah,
Speaker 1: we were worried that there's there was this sort of
Speaker 1: um misconception that this was a dry campus. And yeah,
Speaker 1: drinking can be amazing, that can be um. So what
Speaker 1: we're gonna do is we're gonna we're gonna diagnose our
Speaker 1: own diseases on stage for you in this first section,
Speaker 1: but then we're opening it up to some the applause
Speaker 1: on when we said diagnosed our own diseases. We have
Speaker 1: to be honest. We have to come forward and be
Speaker 1: honest about the fact that we've been here for I
Speaker 1: technically scientists just saying only two hours, but we've lived
Speaker 1: many lifetimes in the back room here. And it is
Speaker 1: the rumors are true that me and Bowen, youang, have
Speaker 1: gotten into upwards of four fights since a vinyard. It's
Speaker 1: true pitch of Pat's voice backstage when he thought that
Speaker 1: Bowen had misrepresented him to actually did he actually did me?
Speaker 1: And I know, and I own up to it and
Speaker 1: I apologized and it costed me nothing. It cost him
Speaker 1: nothing costs me nothing to be the bigger person an apology.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't the bigger it was the equally sized
Speaker 1: person because you were wrong and you admitted it, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I was right, I also admitted at But um, but
Speaker 1: now our friendship is so strong right now, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy. We're in an amazing place. We're in
Speaker 1: an amazing place. We shared, um a dick first hug. Right,
Speaker 1: we essentially we over the pants, docked docked. We docked
Speaker 1: just five minutes ago. If you don't know what docking is, um,
Speaker 1: it's when to say it with me. On cut, man,
Speaker 1: only one has to be only one, but it's only
Speaker 1: one has to be on cut, but they both can
Speaker 1: be uncut, just for that's for you guys, if you're um, yeah,
Speaker 1: so and cut an uncut, unfortunately is one of the
Speaker 1: last remaining binaries. And I just want everyone to be
Speaker 1: cut and uncut. It's sadly not a spectrum. Not, it
Speaker 1: turns out not everything can be a spectrum. It's pretty cool,
Speaker 1: pretty cool, all right? Who's cut? Wait? Okay, either everyone's
Speaker 1: that sucking shy. We have a lot of guys and
Speaker 1: gals in this room. Who's uncut and uncuts you guys,
Speaker 1: Oh wow, can we give them something a T shirt? Can?
Speaker 1: And just now as my girls, as you know, we're
Speaker 1: all family men and girls when we have our children.
Speaker 1: Ultimately me and Katherine will be raising two children UM
Speaker 1: together and I will have my own brood that she's
Speaker 1: not involved with. UM. Do you guys think you'll ultimately
Speaker 1: make the choice to go to for your kids to
Speaker 1: cut or to not cut? Oh my god, you know
Speaker 1: I just recently asked my I asked my boyfriend. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I asked my boyfriend like in a stupid way.
Speaker 1: I was like, you want kids? He said, no, hard, no,
Speaker 1: And then he said that's why I have a dog.
Speaker 1: Do you know how any have any idea how hard
Speaker 1: it is to raise a dog? And it it does
Speaker 1: seem like a lot of work. And so then I
Speaker 1: kind of I was I was like, Okay, yeah, cool,
Speaker 1: I don't want kids either. But here's the thing. Maybe
Speaker 1: my diseases that I said I didn't want kids to
Speaker 1: appease my new boyfe but maybe I do. So at
Speaker 1: what point do I didn't want a boyfriend until I
Speaker 1: lost my voice this morning at ten A. I'm due
Speaker 1: to me doing a sneeze, and now I want a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Ye take care of them, me to care of what's
Speaker 1: just trying to say is take care of me, take
Speaker 1: care of me. We will Well, we're taking care of
Speaker 1: you and everyone hears taking care of Catherine tonight. Seriously, seriously,
Speaker 1: seriously seriously, um that I think you shouldn't seed your desires. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: I don't want a child. Can you imagine me with
Speaker 1: a child. I can't. I I still get excited about
Speaker 1: going to Disney World. I would be it would be
Speaker 1: like we'd be online and they'd be like, we have
Speaker 1: room for one more, and I'd leave my kids. What
Speaker 1: I will say about you with I think you would
Speaker 1: be a better parent than some, but not all, of
Speaker 1: the teen mom o G but not a reason. I
Speaker 1: think you would be a better mom than Pharaoh, worst
Speaker 1: mom than Caitlin, better mom than our worst mom than Ncy,
Speaker 1: better mom than Bristol, worst mom than Cheyenne. To wait,
Speaker 1: can I can I reveal something? I was an intern
Speaker 1: for Team Mom. To my job exclusively consistent of I
Speaker 1: stapled their taco bell receipts onto pieces of white paper,
Speaker 1: and that was how we itemized them. And every single day,
Speaker 1: there were thousands, approximately thousands of Taco Bell receipts exclusively
Speaker 1: eight at Taco Bell or Taco Hut or Kent Taco Hut,
Speaker 1: the moms or the Moms and the entire staff and
Speaker 1: produption tam Hunt only at Taco Bell or Taco Hut
Speaker 1: or Kentacoh. She's trying to communicate with us. I think
Speaker 1: we need a sign or dance move. That means now
Speaker 1: I've heard everything. Well, do you want to show us
Speaker 1: what you think it is? It's like, no, Yo, well
Speaker 1: what I want to say? Wow? Wait? Did I hear
Speaker 1: this correctly? That you guys all learned to dance together
Speaker 1: at steek treatment we were Ultimately what happened was my
Speaker 1: younger brother shout out, Um, Catherine is staying with me
Speaker 1: sexually attracted to UM. Really you're the one with the
Speaker 1: hot brothers. No trust me, and that's why me and
Speaker 1: Katherine are pulling our brothers and starting a giggalo survez
Speaker 1: Um anyways, um at a street sixteen. I believe they
Speaker 1: invented it dance my younger cousins kind of UM, kind
Speaker 1: of my gen Z cousins and kept adding moves, and
Speaker 1: then Catherine took to it and we actually did it
Speaker 1: as a line dance. Actually, Po's malone, not our live show,
Speaker 1: like a fish to water. Um, so not anyway, I
Speaker 1: won't have children. Okay, well what do you want? But
Speaker 1: do you want children? Do you want? I want to
Speaker 1: see a little me, but I don't want children. But
Speaker 1: you can't see a little you because as gay men,
Speaker 1: science isn't there yet where we can't have bio kids
Speaker 1: with our lovers, except for the fact that there was
Speaker 1: a study that I had a headline of an article
Speaker 1: about that said gay rats got each other pregnant? Can
Speaker 1: you the mechanism? Do you want to know something hot? Though?
Speaker 1: If me and my boyfriend now had a kid, I
Speaker 1: found out who it would look like Zach, it would
Speaker 1: it would look like it would look like Zach Posen,
Speaker 1: who I think is hot? Is that problematic? But I
Speaker 1: would want to funk what I think my kid would
Speaker 1: look like? Yeah, that's actually problematic. Are the very least
Speaker 1: with what is like? Who do you look like? Um?
Speaker 1: M oh, I know Elizabeth Taylor? H I know g
Speaker 1: g Had Did I know Greta Gerwig? My therapist said
Speaker 1: Jared Letto. H m oh, my god, she's trying to
Speaker 1: tell us something. Enough of me. What's going on with
Speaker 1: my boys? Well? I don't want kids, because if I did,
Speaker 1: I would suck them. Yeah, what is okay? Shut up?
Speaker 1: Shut up? I have a question. Do you think in
Speaker 1: the responsible choice, the most responsible than you could do
Speaker 1: if you want to suck your kids is do not
Speaker 1: have has nothing to do with the climate change. It's
Speaker 1: just about being so narcissistic that you would fuck your
Speaker 1: own child in the image of yourself. It's like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to bring my kids, not in the image
Speaker 1: of me. It would look like zach poses, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want to bring kids
Speaker 1: into this funked up world where I want to suck them.
Speaker 1: I have a question. Are there is there's like a
Speaker 1: psychology term for this. There's there's edible complexes, there's electric complexes.
Speaker 1: What's the what are the queer little equivalents of that?
Speaker 1: Or what's the what's the do you mean? What is
Speaker 1: the what are the names? When you want to suck
Speaker 1: your kids? When when you're when you're when you're that's
Speaker 1: a Mary Kayla Turnout comp a Mary Kayla Turner. What
Speaker 1: Mary Kayla Turner wasn't related to bil know when I'm
Speaker 1: trying to make a joke. Yeah, yeah, all right, there's something.
Speaker 1: There's something I don't think I don't think there's yet
Speaker 1: a term for it. It doesn't are you saying, because
Speaker 1: you said queer, are you signing allergy B t Q. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking like, but actually it would just be
Speaker 1: edible and electra if it's like a kid wants to
Speaker 1: fuck his gay dad and the kid wants it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what the I always say that I have gay
Speaker 1: Oedipus complex because I'm sucking someone from the same state
Speaker 1: as my dad, and that's guy. Is so a small state.
Speaker 1: Can't believe there's more than a few people in it.
Speaker 1: There's not. Actually there's not. There's my dad and my lover.
Speaker 1: People you can viably fuck. Okay, So we're gonna so
Speaker 1: just just so we can set this up and offer
Speaker 1: everybody this up top, we're gonna move into an audience
Speaker 1: advice section. So there's a microphone in the center aisle. Uh,
Speaker 1: people in the pews feel free? How how the pew
Speaker 1: people do it? And how are few people do what's
Speaker 1: up the pews? What's up the pew? Are there people
Speaker 1: sitting in pews. I do think I believe this is here.
Speaker 1: I think that's shot down. Jesus just work. And I
Speaker 1: do think this is a Jewish This place is Jewish
Speaker 1: places and heat on exast. Okay, we're dealing with Old
Speaker 1: Testament God here. I think that this they just don't acknowledge.
Speaker 1: This is ultimately a podcast about theology and about religion
Speaker 1: versus spirituality, and about Jesus exists. All right, everyone's so,
Speaker 1: now that's something annoying happened to me. I believe in
Speaker 1: God again. Now that's something annoying happened to me. I
Speaker 1: believe in God again. Wow, So Bowen, should we should
Speaker 1: we move this into advice? Now? I feel well, let's
Speaker 1: just go down the line and just let's each talk
Speaker 1: about what our diseases are. Okay, well, I think my diseases.
Speaker 1: I want to suck my kids because I think it
Speaker 1: would look like exact pose. And and I have a
Speaker 1: crush on Zach Post. Everyone that just walked in. My
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I I think if we had a baby,
Speaker 1: it would look like exact posing. And I would want
Speaker 1: to Zach pose and Zach Poses my celebrity crush that's
Speaker 1: been challenging for me and thinking ahead if I want
Speaker 1: to have children, I just I just want to reflect
Speaker 1: back to that your disease start and as you wanted
Speaker 1: up you were start telling your boyfriend you didn't want kids,
Speaker 1: to place them, and now it changed into kind of
Speaker 1: wanting to suck your kids. So is that truly what
Speaker 1: it is or do you know actually to be tbh?
Speaker 1: I'm like very happy overall. It's nice. I'm just reaching
Speaker 1: for something that I think could be a problem and
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, well, if I had a kid, I might
Speaker 1: want to suck it. So let's say that suck it. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know my disease. Maybe my girls can diagnose
Speaker 1: your disease. I will say. The way that you treated
Speaker 1: Bowen backstage was absolutely okay. So imagine this. Imagine this backstage,
Speaker 1: Pat screaming at Bowen. I was not screaming at Catherine's friend.
Speaker 1: Don't be mean to my friend. I love my friend
Speaker 1: and her machine. What's happening? You don't she never thought
Speaker 1: she did she did anything she did? Um? What was
Speaker 1: Pat saying next stage? Um? No, we had a miss on.
Speaker 1: It started when I got here and someone had brought
Speaker 1: me quest burns, which I did, never asked for. I
Speaker 1: asked for them. Bowen looked at me as though I
Speaker 1: would say murdered his family and said, I can't believe
Speaker 1: you have them not and wasn't It wasn't even him
Speaker 1: that literally hot producer Meg dropped off a bunch of snaps.
Speaker 1: You don't know, Alex dropped off, we're doing we're falling
Speaker 1: into his jop. I know we're not gonna fall into
Speaker 1: your chop. Matt, Why would you do this? Why would
Speaker 1: you do this towards as Beth is your disease? The
Speaker 1: prompt was what what are our diseases? And then you
Speaker 1: looked at me and said, what's my disease? Diagnosed me?
Speaker 1: You acted crazy fact stage and now you're saying it's
Speaker 1: because of candy. You have a serious problem. What did
Speaker 1: you just think of Pat's a little new studdings here.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, wow, it took him a minute. Yeah, no
Speaker 1: one cares. That's okay. I'm really happy about that. My
Speaker 1: disease is its fashion. It's fashion. Fashion, It is fashion, well,
Speaker 1: Catherine said. Katherine said that because a lot of my
Speaker 1: fashion is and I'll paraphrase stupid um. She said that
Speaker 1: having the earring kind of makes it seem like everything's
Speaker 1: a choice, and it kind of elevates that when you
Speaker 1: do introduce some new element to your fashion, it's a
Speaker 1: huge for you. It's a huge deal. Totally. Yeah, Well
Speaker 1: you told me one time bing that you don't think
Speaker 1: I should when I get money. You don't think I
Speaker 1: should change everything. You do think I should just elevate
Speaker 1: my current esthetic. Absolutely, I didn't totally placed it in
Speaker 1: terms of money, but I will. I feel like it
Speaker 1: was responsive to me being like, when I get money,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy own close And you're like, I don't
Speaker 1: think and he said the words ritorial. Well that's huge
Speaker 1: for me. Um, she's trying to tell us something something
Speaker 1: my disease as I had to wear this gorgeous count
Speaker 1: to makeup from my wretched help kissed mood, But it
Speaker 1: doesn't really breathe. One more time, she's gonna go slower, slower,
Speaker 1: my disease, as I had to wear this gorgeous count
Speaker 1: to makeup from my wretched help kissed mood, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't really breathe. You look look amazing. That's not a disease.
Speaker 1: That's not a disease. That's not a disease. Um, but
Speaker 1: what's what's my? What's mine? You guys, I don't. I
Speaker 1: can't really diagnose. I actually can diagnose you always. I
Speaker 1: can always diagnose. That's an amazing I think that you
Speaker 1: should ignore the haters. Okay, I'm actively speaking them out,
Speaker 1: all right. Yeah, Boone is addicted to going on and
Speaker 1: seeing what the yand gang is saying about. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he's addicted to it. It's not it's not no, it's
Speaker 1: not the end gang um that that that like, I've
Speaker 1: like sort of made peace with it. And I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I squinted too much. It was literally my
Speaker 1: first day wearing contacts and I had to and I
Speaker 1: had to like, look, I couldn't read the damn que cards.
Speaker 1: And I also it was a bad impression. Yeah I
Speaker 1: was bad. It wasn't bad impression. I thought it was good.
Speaker 1: And also he does squint a little no careful, no
Speaker 1: hey when when when he when he is getting serious,
Speaker 1: he kind of does, that's what you fucking did. It
Speaker 1: fits you're the fucking races there. I am sticking my
Speaker 1: neck out for you and you're saying, okay, no, no, no, um,
Speaker 1: it's it's just everybody, everybody. I'm just I'm seeking it out.
Speaker 1: It's kind of it's kind of entertainment at this point though,
Speaker 1: when you go on to Twitter and you say you
Speaker 1: tell them that you saw it, and they say, actually,
Speaker 1: God got the bits I've noticed. It's died down. It's
Speaker 1: died down. No, no, no, no, no, this is this
Speaker 1: is it? Um. I I am of the Joan Didion
Speaker 1: school of thought, where the more you examine something, less
Speaker 1: scary it becomes. And I'm examining it, and it's what's that?
Speaker 1: I'm of the Joan Didion school of thought, where the
Speaker 1: more you examine something, the less scary it becomes. Oh
Speaker 1: my god? And is that is that you hating what?
Speaker 1: I just love it? And that's her coming towards you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's her coming towards what's that? I
Speaker 1: look books, I look books, book, I look booked, I
Speaker 1: look books. I love books. I love books. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Cat's amazing. Cat. That's really great. Cat you love books.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's really cool. Cast. Everyone's cool to
Speaker 1: my friend that you was col Um? Well, what was
Speaker 1: my disease the first time when we all met that
Speaker 1: paoful day in Verdog Studios and recorded what was my
Speaker 1: disease done? I don't remember about Was it about anxiety
Speaker 1: or was it probably but you used to hate sex? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and now you love it, bitch, Now you're and now
Speaker 1: you're getting fucked in? All okay, stop I have now
Speaker 1: you always had come in your butt? Yeah, you would know, Katherine,
Speaker 1: you would know. And he stopped looking up there. She's
Speaker 1: always looking up my whole. And that's another thing he said.
Speaker 1: Backstagees he informed us that he had pooped out. Stop
Speaker 1: stop at Matthew, I have teenage blood relatives in the
Speaker 1: audience before said please me for once. What before we
Speaker 1: went on stage, you said please fuck me for once?
Speaker 1: I did tell please put me for once. But but yeah,
Speaker 1: I did say that. I did say that. And honestly,
Speaker 1: before we came on stage, Bowen did search himself on Twitter,
Speaker 1: and then that did prompt me to then search all
Speaker 1: of us on Wicky feet and which and only Katherine
Speaker 1: is on wiki feet and she has a four point
Speaker 1: five star rating. Get get your picture of those piggies, guys,
Speaker 1: show him the piggies bo when you're not on Wiki feet.
Speaker 1: I'm not one because I think they think they want
Speaker 1: bear skin. They want toes I'm gonna I'm gonna start
Speaker 1: posting pics of my feet and then that's your isn't it?
Speaker 1: And people people, I can lift my leg wire, but
Speaker 1: I am not wearing underwear. That's fair. Um. You know
Speaker 1: it's a little joke in my bio, I say feet
Speaker 1: picks for sale, But that that makes it feel like
Speaker 1: I'm making a joke at the expensive about the feet
Speaker 1: community thinks I'm hack hack No, oh my god, my friend, no,
Speaker 1: why why did you You looked at her and you
Speaker 1: thought that that underwear joke was a you made You
Speaker 1: made a face you're like, and I just matched you.
Speaker 1: It was a classic. It was a classic case of
Speaker 1: classic matching piece in a pod, A piece in a
Speaker 1: pod moment between Cat and bo. Absolutely, you know what's crazy?
Speaker 1: All four of us nowadays are bottoms. Yes, I think
Speaker 1: that you can make the argument that Katherine's verse I
Speaker 1: put my finger in a butt. Wow, that's very topish activity. Katherine.
Speaker 1: She and she did it. She put her finger in
Speaker 1: a guy's butt on Pride Weekend. Why is everyone crying
Speaker 1: while I touched the dick? Still? Yeah, you put the
Speaker 1: finger in his butt while you touched his stick. Still
Speaker 1: you don't know where to look. He's gonna get whiplash
Speaker 1: on that. Yeah. Now, Katherine is a dumb vagina owner. No,
Speaker 1: she's actually stubby. She's stubby. You can tell because she
Speaker 1: runs things like a boss in her real life. When
Speaker 1: the door gets closed and the lights go down, she
Speaker 1: wants to be taken care of. She's working on it
Speaker 1: right now. She's working on a five d essay about
Speaker 1: this on the subject this is gonna be good. She's
Speaker 1: going to the library for a while to work, and
Speaker 1: then she didn't come back. I think, are you bowen?
Speaker 1: What am I a power bottom? I don't think I
Speaker 1: have a sexual identity anymore, which is great. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you're so that means you get to go on a
Speaker 1: hero's journey to find one or you're saying it's more nebulous,
Speaker 1: and it's like, let's see who I meet, let's see
Speaker 1: what we find together as the partners. Yeah, and I've
Speaker 1: just I've just dissociated from Like it's like I try
Speaker 1: to think back on the last time, and I just
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't remember. So that's fine. He has
Speaker 1: a bad memory. It was two days ago. He has amnisia,
Speaker 1: he had a full or every day he has first
Speaker 1: dates disease, First State's Disease, and erasing Drew Barrett, First
Speaker 1: State's Disease. I think it was made up for that
Speaker 1: movie that I think that it was made up. Wait, Kathin,
Speaker 1: are you prepared? Go ahead? There we go? Oh oh,
Speaker 1: I think about during sex is a professor telling me
Speaker 1: if you walk into my office dress like this, you're
Speaker 1: going to end up with a cock in your mouth.
Speaker 1: So I think I'm a sub. This is my official statement.
Speaker 1: Oh god? Wait, what is the hottest porn scenario? We know,
Speaker 1: Katherine's What is your ideal porn scenario that you could
Speaker 1: find yourself in bon yang that I have to place
Speaker 1: myself in. Yeah, find yourself in a situation. Now tell
Speaker 1: us all what is this? No one sounds cool when
Speaker 1: they say that. I think I sound cool? Well not?
Speaker 1: Now mine is very well documented. Would you mean my
Speaker 1: favorite porn or my favorite kind of fantasy? What's your
Speaker 1: favorite porn? My favorite porn is anyone can shout it out? Massage,
Speaker 1: thank you, massage massage. Catherine suddenly misremembers that meets surprised
Speaker 1: massage to me if it's a thirty two minute video
Speaker 1: on porn hub dot com forwards, and the premise is
Speaker 1: it's it's it's part of a larger piece. You can
Speaker 1: tell because there's a framing device where um, we start
Speaker 1: actually inside a therapist's office. Uh, and the therapist is
Speaker 1: really hot and you can tell in the longer piece
Speaker 1: of this was cut from He certainly foks a lot,
Speaker 1: but this is he is not. He is talking to
Speaker 1: camera actually monologue, and he's explaining his modality for treatment
Speaker 1: for when he finds a patient who actually is gay.
Speaker 1: He can tell but the person doesn't want to admit it.
Speaker 1: He sends this person to a famous massage or mischiuse event.
Speaker 1: And so this guy, this like beefy muscily beard guy
Speaker 1: event goes and he's getting massage from this guy who
Speaker 1: looks kind of like Denise Richards's husband from Denise Richards's
Speaker 1: husband from Beverly Hills Housewives and guys. Have they had
Speaker 1: this kind of problematic discussion about like the concept of
Speaker 1: homosexuality as he's getting rubbed down, and they're talking about
Speaker 1: like if they like guys, and they kind of both
Speaker 1: agree they don't, and they're talking about they kind of
Speaker 1: are until homophobic to be honest, Yeah, and so anyways,
Speaker 1: like he's like definitely oiling, oiling, oiling takes towel off.
Speaker 1: Oil is actually in the crack, and it kind of
Speaker 1: introduces this idea of like what if something touched your
Speaker 1: crack and then um, and that's kind of even foreshadowing,
Speaker 1: and then um, obviously it's signed them to flip over.
Speaker 1: And then we get hands in the crotch and then
Speaker 1: we get up real close to the face of wall.
Speaker 1: We're on the crotch and we say, do you like this?
Speaker 1: Should I keep going? Start making out, go on the
Speaker 1: couch and they do riding into Doggie into Missionary. I
Speaker 1: prefer start with doggie, get it out of the way,
Speaker 1: then riding not necessarily, but won do it. I think
Speaker 1: it's the middle, and then I want to end with missionary.
Speaker 1: Im dissertation vibes dissertation vibes mine is not a specific narrative.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, Okay, so maybe you guys go on
Speaker 1: porn hub dot com and h and so did you
Speaker 1: ever type in hot guys fuck? So okay, so I
Speaker 1: guess one time I typed in hot guys fuck, because
Speaker 1: that's how general I was feeling on the day. And
Speaker 1: so there's a whole channel called Hot Guys Funk, which
Speaker 1: is just it's porn. It's straight. I love straight porn.
Speaker 1: Sorry I'm here, Um, I mean the reverse that the
Speaker 1: reverse kids are all right, yeah, exactly. So I love
Speaker 1: straight porn and I love I love straight porn where
Speaker 1: the the guys are like they sit it's like a
Speaker 1: guy on a girl and they're sitting on the couch
Speaker 1: and they're like fully closed and they're like sitting next
Speaker 1: to each other, and the camera guys like, so I'm
Speaker 1: here with Stephen and Kelly. What's up, guys? And they're
Speaker 1: like hey, and he's like, all right, so how do
Speaker 1: you How long have you guys known each other? And
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, we just I think you just met.
Speaker 1: And then they're like, oh, for sure, for sure, So Kelly,
Speaker 1: we've had you, we've we've had you in here a
Speaker 1: couple of times, we've seen you get realed a couple
Speaker 1: of times. And she's like, yeah, I for sure have
Speaker 1: I stand Kelly. And then he's like Kelly his goals.
Speaker 1: He's like Stephen, y, you're either Kelly or Stephen. That's
Speaker 1: that's another binary. That's when they're binary Kelly, and and
Speaker 1: then and then he's like, Stephen, still, what do you
Speaker 1: think of Kelly? He thinks she's got like pretty pretty,
Speaker 1: pretty hot, right, And he's like, yeah, I think she's
Speaker 1: pretty hot. And she's like, yeah, I think you think.
Speaker 1: I think he thinks I'm hot. She'll reach his dick
Speaker 1: he's and she's like, yeah he does, he does. I can,
Speaker 1: I can tell. And then Ken, it goes like okay,
Speaker 1: I guess like I'll let you guys just like get too,
Speaker 1: let's see if there's chemistry. I love when the camera
Speaker 1: guy lets them just get to it and see and
Speaker 1: then there is chemistry and then they fuck, but the
Speaker 1: camera is fully on the guy's button. It's like not
Speaker 1: about Kelly at all. It's entirely about like Stephen, like fucking.
Speaker 1: And it's just like straight porn that's about like these hot,
Speaker 1: like hairless straight men fucking women and then the women. Honestly,
Speaker 1: they're the best actors because they have to do the
Speaker 1: most to be seen because the scene is not about
Speaker 1: the sound familiar sound familiar, familiar that most to be seen,
Speaker 1: the most to be heard, because we mena machines. I
Speaker 1: watched one recently where the girl came five times and
Speaker 1: everyone was like, Oh, it's gonna happen again. Like everyone
Speaker 1: on set gathered around and was like yes, audibly, they're like.
Speaker 1: She was like, I can't believe that. I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I love I think that. I think the crew is
Speaker 1: just as important as the cast. But I want them
Speaker 1: just I want them off screen and porn. No, they're
Speaker 1: all in it together. No, for me, they're not in
Speaker 1: it together. I think for me it's about the cast. Well,
Speaker 1: the cast was having the thrill of a lifetime. Also,
Speaker 1: the way that some people come in these porns, that
Speaker 1: wasn't an exaggeration when I did. Look, that's my favorite
Speaker 1: one is when they go I'm gonna come, I'm coming, Pirate,
Speaker 1: bid come pirates. Katherine and your machine, Katherine and the machine,
Speaker 1: Katherine and the technicolor machine. I have to say something.
Speaker 1: She's gonna drag Pat. Are you serious? I was just listening.
Speaker 1: For once, you could take a lesson from me. You
Speaker 1: could take a lesson from me. I know you're going
Speaker 1: through so much right now, so I'm praying for you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought you guys were like had
Speaker 1: each other's back. It's crazy. The way you guys just
Speaker 1: turn on each other. Everyone should pray for me, pray this.
Speaker 1: This is my fantasy. This it's it's just it's just
Speaker 1: environmental because um, there's it's gretivibes, it's it's, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's only fans, just for fans. Videos that um where
Speaker 1: the apartment has like a lot of greenery and it's
Speaker 1: like a well, you know how like some of these
Speaker 1: amateur videos like the fucking places are dumps. Yeah, that's like, no,
Speaker 1: you know what I want now on our your time.
Speaker 1: There's there's just one guy who lives in London and
Speaker 1: he has this really clean line room and he's got
Speaker 1: a lot of lush plants and I love that. See
Speaker 1: I would never want so many plants in porn, but
Speaker 1: I am. That's why we're so different. Um, it's a
Speaker 1: red flag if a guy has a nice apport what
Speaker 1: I want in my own when I want environmentally for well,
Speaker 1: Kathy made me take your own advice? Is oh my god,
Speaker 1: I say take you on advice. It's just kidding that
Speaker 1: section best section section, I can only come to your
Speaker 1: mahogany and built in bookcases. I like that. I'm standard
Speaker 1: chid into it's like that kind of finished basement that
Speaker 1: a lot of Sean Cody happens in, where it's like
Speaker 1: the same kind of white carpet sectional sofa. At that
Speaker 1: sectional sofa can talk. You know, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: like nice like uh, deck ac decorative accents um deck
Speaker 1: and deck ac figures and it's deck ac um. I
Speaker 1: just blacked out, all right. Now get to the sex. No,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. The sex can be anything. The only
Speaker 1: fixed point has to be just the decor and then
Speaker 1: everything else. It can be so variable. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: And that in in in a way is verse. It's verse. Now.
Speaker 1: I think it's time to open it up. It's tidy
Speaker 1: to open up the floor. You can ask us advice
Speaker 1: questions about boys, sex, fucking, dating, love or culture. So
Speaker 1: please that I think it is time to open up
Speaker 1: the floor. What's that. It's time to open up the floor.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Literally you have to because once one comes,
Speaker 1: they'll come. This is the first brick. I love this girl.
Speaker 1: HI love this girl, And I love your pack. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's very good. I love your pack. Thank you. Um.
Speaker 1: A psychic told me one of my friends is super
Speaker 1: in love with me. How do I find out who
Speaker 1: it is. As told you that one can I ask
Speaker 1: you a question. Has anything your psychic has told you
Speaker 1: ever been real? I don't regularly have a psychic. This
Speaker 1: was like a free experience. Yea? Was it at a party?
Speaker 1: And she just was like, by the way and me psychic?
Speaker 1: Your friends in love? Or was it? I went to
Speaker 1: a friend's work event and there was a chocolate psychic.
Speaker 1: There was a chocolate chocolate. He made me drizzle chocolates
Speaker 1: are about a piece of paper. He looked at it
Speaker 1: like a rush chest. Did she looks like me in
Speaker 1: a wig? Like me in a wig? How do we go? Ahead?
Speaker 1: All right? Keep going? We know we I know that
Speaker 1: you said that's it, but we need more context. So
Speaker 1: there was something was a sort of chocolate psychic looking
Speaker 1: at a chocolate raw sky. He made us like meditate
Speaker 1: and then we drizzle chocolates are upon a piece of
Speaker 1: paper and folded it in half and then gave it
Speaker 1: to him and that your friends work? Are you? Are
Speaker 1: you listening to yourself? And you're starting to like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm the practical one of the four, and it was free.
Speaker 1: I really want to stress, So let me ask, are
Speaker 1: you getting vibes for many of your friends are do
Speaker 1: you are you in love with then your friends? So
Speaker 1: then it doesn't matter. I'm not in love with them,
Speaker 1: this chocolate, the chocolates. Like I said, you're not in
Speaker 1: love with them, but they're in love with you. Okay,
Speaker 1: So then what what do you? What's in it for
Speaker 1: you to find out? I just kind of want to know.
Speaker 1: I think that's a way for this chocolate psychic to
Speaker 1: kind of make a really safe guess, you know, like
Speaker 1: someone's in love with you but doesn't honor. But it's
Speaker 1: low stakes. Um, I need the stakes to be higher.
Speaker 1: But I love your work a still. One thing. One thing,
Speaker 1: did you come with anyone here tonight? No, my friend
Speaker 1: broker foot and couldn't come. I sold my ticket than you.
Speaker 1: But also, police, we have a scalper and if you
Speaker 1: can take her to down. Can I tell you what
Speaker 1: I would do if I were you. I would just
Speaker 1: start like going up to your friends and like kind
Speaker 1: of doing it like small things, like just small things
Speaker 1: to let them know like we can. I can I
Speaker 1: ask you a question just sort of like make yourself known.
Speaker 1: You could buy one of these? I would say, definitely
Speaker 1: buy one of these dresses. Um, now are you only
Speaker 1: answer you the soas it was safe? Are you G? S? B?
Speaker 1: Or where are you whatever? It just doesn't narrow it
Speaker 1: down at all. M M I think um, definitely the
Speaker 1: dress with hell. Do you have any interest in striking
Speaker 1: up a friendship with the chocolate piic? No, he's also
Speaker 1: a fire dancer. I found his instagrams. Can I tell
Speaker 1: you what I think? I think he wanted you to
Speaker 1: be interested enough to go to his instagram and follow
Speaker 1: him and tell us all that he was a fire
Speaker 1: dancer so that we all go to Instagram and look
Speaker 1: for the psychic fire dancer who works exclusively with chocolate,
Speaker 1: so that he could pop absolutely off. I did not
Speaker 1: follow him. If he didn't follow him, I think reach
Speaker 1: for the moon, even if you miss you land among
Speaker 1: the stars? Is that the psychic where? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: If you shoot for the movie, I think someone's visiting
Speaker 1: us Chocolate. Oh my god. Wait, Katherine, you're not even
Speaker 1: touching your computer Chocolate Psychic. Great, Katherine, you've exed out
Speaker 1: of the app. What's your name? What's her name? Leah?
Speaker 1: Leah Chocolate Psychic. Which of Leah's friends is it? Please
Speaker 1: give us a sign anything. He's French. Do you have
Speaker 1: a friend name? Um Joe, No, that was the psychic name.
Speaker 1: I'm psychic. I'm a little psychic. Oh my god, that
Speaker 1: just came into I had. I swear to god, you
Speaker 1: have never met this woman. I've never met this chocolate
Speaker 1: psychic that came into my hand. I am so proud
Speaker 1: of my friend, Leah. I think that we asked, we
Speaker 1: answered your questions. Thank you for seking culture. But Leah,
Speaker 1: I want um take a huge dress and ask the
Speaker 1: chocolate psychic out on a date. If that's not ethically
Speaker 1: weird because you were his client, he is the one. Okay,
Speaker 1: we can have our next person to the MI guess
Speaker 1: it's it's you. It's you. It's you. I love this
Speaker 1: girl before me. We love her. Hey. Hey, that's why
Speaker 1: I sounds like um I am. My question is I'm
Speaker 1: twenty four. Congratulations, Sorry, it's huge. Okay. My question is
Speaker 1: it's amazing for you. Hang on to that. I will.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four and I'm hooking up with a thirty
Speaker 1: six year old. What's your take? What? Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: want to know your opinion. I am Harney, forty six
Speaker 1: is kind of it's like one of those beautiful like
Speaker 1: when those ratios like the natural we also work together?
Speaker 1: Oh okaya? Is he in a position where he's your
Speaker 1: superior sa not? Are do you guys work in different departments?
Speaker 1: Are you were in the restaurant industry? So it's pretty
Speaker 1: restaurant industry? Is he also? Are you a server? I'm
Speaker 1: a host's you're a hostess? Okay? What does he do
Speaker 1: with the restaurant? Is he a chef? He's a waiter.
Speaker 1: He's a waiter. Would be hot if he was a chef.
Speaker 1: He wears a three piece suit. It's yeah. Party. Could
Speaker 1: he go to Connery School? He could? I was going
Speaker 1: to ask, are there any hot chefs at your job?
Speaker 1: Could be a very scary too scary. Well, how do
Speaker 1: you feel about the thirty six year old? I mean
Speaker 1: I don't notice it because he's pretty mture for his
Speaker 1: age in a good way. He I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: He acts like he's more not thirty six. So what
Speaker 1: we're hearing is it's not that you're mature that he is.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I would say so, I'm pretty much. Is
Speaker 1: he an actor? No? Cool? That's look, I mean, that's huge.
Speaker 1: I made sure of that. Are there are red flags
Speaker 1: that have nothing to do with his age or like, sure,
Speaker 1: sure detail those Oh I don't know. Okay, that's what.
Speaker 1: In a few years, you'll be like having a glass
Speaker 1: of orange wine with your grandline. You will be like,
Speaker 1: I used to hook up with this old guy, and
Speaker 1: that's why we do things. Ultimately, life is about collecting
Speaker 1: story socks. So I love your talk. It's a good
Speaker 1: it's a good talk. I would is this is this
Speaker 1: sex good? It's great, It's really it's very generous. I
Speaker 1: may say so like he goes out of his way.
Speaker 1: He goes out of his way without needing to us. Well,
Speaker 1: let me say, you seem a very statistic five. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think we say that we actually as a counsel,
Speaker 1: I'll say it's okay, we think it's great. So it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay, okay from everyone. When I was five years
Speaker 1: younger than you, I was sucking someone at my job
Speaker 1: and I was also in the service industry, and it
Speaker 1: was a real thrill. Just make sure that you don't
Speaker 1: give him your phone number, because in ten years he
Speaker 1: will try to call you. At four I am telling
Speaker 1: you that he wants took up with you again. And
Speaker 1: you will have to block his number. I'll do that.
Speaker 1: Do that? Thank you so much. Do you approve? No,
Speaker 1: do you approve to borrow my phrase from earlier? Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you for speaking culture. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: speaking culture towards us. So much for speaking culture towards us. Hello, Hello, Hi, welcome,
Speaker 1: make yourself at home. The terrorist over everyone. Um, I
Speaker 1: actually know my disease. I am still in love with
Speaker 1: the first person I ever had a crush on. Okay,
Speaker 1: and so when did you first have that feeling? Oh?
Speaker 1: Literally like second grade? It's yeah, um, well this is
Speaker 1: how women's the last time is tom or like high school?
Speaker 1: Are now I'm a college freshman, you're a college freshman.
Speaker 1: So thirteenth grade. I'm inte grade grade. So Catherine is
Speaker 1: actually joking out what grade? But you're actually really a
Speaker 1: young person at this point. It's like at this point,
Speaker 1: at this point, it's like, all right, did you go
Speaker 1: to your high school? Obviously a question? Okay, was he? Um?
Speaker 1: Was he at your captain in your in that I
Speaker 1: was literally narrative kind of except for I didn't go
Speaker 1: to a single football game. Okay, look, I mean neither
Speaker 1: didn't Taylor. Was he Um, was he like a like
Speaker 1: a jockey quarterback type? Yeah, well is there a quarterback
Speaker 1: for volleyball? Because that's what he was. Yeah, they're called
Speaker 1: they're called the spiker. Yeah, oh you're you're so you're
Speaker 1: a zygo like you'll you will forget about him in
Speaker 1: like four years. Yeah, really, he won't matter. You will
Speaker 1: meet someone and you'll be like, oh that guy, Um
Speaker 1: had nice hair, but now I have a different person
Speaker 1: hair did It was like blonde, curly hair. It was good.
Speaker 1: Well do you go where does he go to college? Oh? God,
Speaker 1: University Wisconsin. Okay, he's gonna lose that hair really quick.
Speaker 1: But oh my god, I think, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: remember the guy that I crushed on in high school.
Speaker 1: I actually don't remember the guy crushed on in high
Speaker 1: school because because enough time passes that you just they
Speaker 1: just get out of your rolodex at a certain point.
Speaker 1: And yeah, sometimes even relies you hate them. Yeah, do
Speaker 1: you stand Taylor? I hate her new album. You're not
Speaker 1: offending me? Yeah, but like Fearless, am I wrote that album?
Speaker 1: She likes that album. She said I wrote that album.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm sorry, he said I wrote that album.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, Katherine can we can we get ahold of
Speaker 1: this guy? Can we get ahold of this guy? Can
Speaker 1: we speak to her? You see, if you can get
Speaker 1: him on mine? Well, what would you say to him
Speaker 1: if you let me have the mainframe? What would times?
Speaker 1: I may see you get out six seconds? I need
Speaker 1: six seconds? What would you say to him if you
Speaker 1: could speak to him? Because he might show up? I mean,
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I haven't said a word to
Speaker 1: him since like freshman sophomore year of high school. So
Speaker 1: what's what you went in Softmore high school? I have
Speaker 1: been said a word intin sophomore year of high school
Speaker 1: when he was in my English class and we had
Speaker 1: to be partnered and it was awful. That was he
Speaker 1: spoke to him. I wrote you every day for you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I have to say, no matter what
Speaker 1: this machian says to you, Um, I think he missed
Speaker 1: his chance. I think that I agree with Bowen that
Speaker 1: you'll meet someone else for sure. And did you just
Speaker 1: did you just moved to the city? Is that? Did you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I go to a school around here. Oh great, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I want you to know there's actually a
Speaker 1: lot of single straight guys here tonight totally I bet okay,
Speaker 1: we have a queue. I think we all believe in
Speaker 1: you and we want to thank you so much. I
Speaker 1: still have feelings for someone I met ten years ago
Speaker 1: and one time I saw them at Zara? Was that helpful?
Speaker 1: Is that helpful? That is so helpful? Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for so suet you more. Yeah, Hello, hello, Hi,
Speaker 1: how are you all? I've been laughing so hard and
Speaker 1: now I climbed all the way down from the balcony
Speaker 1: down here too. Thank you. Thank you bring word back
Speaker 1: to your community that she's a girl's girl. She's a
Speaker 1: girl's girl. Um. So I think maybe I'm trying to
Speaker 1: like black out when it happened, but I think maybe
Speaker 1: a month and a half ago, I got stood up
Speaker 1: so insane. Thank you, and I just want to know,
Speaker 1: right it's like very like movie like sitcom, wouldn't ever
Speaker 1: happen in real life, but then it did. So I
Speaker 1: want to know if you guys can help me find
Speaker 1: out what happened to him within a first date? No,
Speaker 1: it was our third date was okay? So maybe did
Speaker 1: you check in and say like are you okay? Um?
Speaker 1: I know I checked gothamss I checked like a lot
Speaker 1: of things to make sure he was actually alive. But
Speaker 1: he is because he's sending Venmo transaction. So smart smart,
Speaker 1: You're very smart, very smart. You're very smart. That is
Speaker 1: the realty. That is the real that was and he's
Speaker 1: not and he's not mendoring people for like, uh, surgery
Speaker 1: for my car today, no rent, rent, utilities, WiFi, the usual. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So I think that what you should do is you
Speaker 1: should showed up at his house or his work. I
Speaker 1: think I think you should go to his work. I mean,
Speaker 1: he works at Salesforce. Wait, what was the vibe on
Speaker 1: the first two days. Was this surprising to you? Yes,
Speaker 1: it was extremely surprising to me. He also he was
Speaker 1: like a nice person. He portrayed himself as a good person.
Speaker 1: He works at the soup kitchen every Saturday. Oh that's
Speaker 1: what he told you. That's that's what they do. That's
Speaker 1: what they do. They lie. Lie. No one a soup kitchen.
Speaker 1: They don't exist their myths. I don't time. A guy
Speaker 1: told me he was a pediatrician, and there's no doctors
Speaker 1: for kids. There's doctors. It was very surprising. Our first
Speaker 1: two dates were Honestly, I think maybe I am maybe
Speaker 1: too intense of a person. I think, um, no, you've
Speaker 1: seen very good. I'm not that intense, but we you
Speaker 1: are perfect. Thank you, perfect girls. You didn't deserve that
Speaker 1: at all. Thank you. I was standing outside of the garret,
Speaker 1: in where the garret, it's like, where the five guys
Speaker 1: is there? Did you get five guys? I did? I
Speaker 1: left my bag a prize. But yeah, it was very
Speaker 1: It was strange. It was very surprising, and I just
Speaker 1: I don't know where he could have happened to he
Speaker 1: he was like, I love five guys. I know I
Speaker 1: love five guys too. It was strange. But it's for
Speaker 1: something like that to happen and for you to try
Speaker 1: to rationalize that there's no it's a complete, letely irrational
Speaker 1: to do. So I wouldn't try to trace it back
Speaker 1: to like you did. I It's not you, I promise
Speaker 1: it's not you. It's definitely him being an illogical, probably
Speaker 1: crazy person works at a soup kitchen. Now I have
Speaker 1: an idea. I think I think that you should veno
Speaker 1: him fifteen dollars listen and be like, this is the ticket.
Speaker 1: This is the ticket to the garrett. Get there whenever
Speaker 1: you can. Cancelation fee and invoice. I've I've heard of
Speaker 1: doing that. It feels a little distant though it happened
Speaker 1: like almost two months ago, my time saying vamo quass
Speaker 1: I think you should Veno pay him him money for
Speaker 1: a year of therapy, be like be like for the
Speaker 1: soup kitchen fund Um. I know I think that honestly, Sorry, no,
Speaker 1: I said I should. Honestly I should have since, but
Speaker 1: you should definitely like one of Venmo payments. Right, It's
Speaker 1: just enough, It's just passive aggressive enough. Yeah, are even funny?
Speaker 1: Ob he sounds like a waste. But can I ask
Speaker 1: you something? Can I ask you something? This will really
Speaker 1: inform um if this guy's even worth the air we breathe? Um,
Speaker 1: are the Venmo payments not funny in that like they're
Speaker 1: not even trying to be just like a sandwich? Or
Speaker 1: is it like he's trying to be funny and it's not. No,
Speaker 1: they're literal, They're exactly what they do. And know I'm
Speaker 1: on your side with thousand or some, but that is
Speaker 1: erotic to me when someone's like, yeah, like this is
Speaker 1: what I'm paying you for and I have nothing comedic
Speaker 1: to say about that, I'm like, raise my kids. We
Speaker 1: all agree this. This can be stopped on Venmo. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for speaking culture. Thank you. I think
Speaker 1: we can get through everyone here if it's super quick.
Speaker 1: If I know us for it'll be super quick. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: So my first question is why everyone has regular Red
Speaker 1: Bull not sugar free. It's kind of worrisome. Can you
Speaker 1: hear you hear? Yes, he's he's calling us out for
Speaker 1: only having regular Red Bull not sugar What you need
Speaker 1: to know actually is that we had all sugar free
Speaker 1: before and there was no more. Okay, So my question is,
Speaker 1: let's say I work with someone named let's say Bob,
Speaker 1: and Bob has a boyfriend that's us. Let's say name Jim,
Speaker 1: and Jim has been hitting me up on dating apps.
Speaker 1: What is the move there? Are you friends with Bob? Um?
Speaker 1: We are work friendly, but not in the way we're
Speaker 1: like we text outside of work, and obviously is Jim hot?
Speaker 1: Would be the other question. I mean, I would definitely
Speaker 1: sleep with Jim and then bring it to Bob. Is
Speaker 1: like a fun story. Yeah, and that's kind of speaks
Speaker 1: to Katherine's ethos of kind of collecting stories to how
Speaker 1: um they seem open. They're open though you know, no
Speaker 1: no one tv D. It doesn't seem like the person
Speaker 1: I work with knows that they are open. If they are,
Speaker 1: so that don't even call that not open. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: that not open. And he's also the person I work
Speaker 1: with is moving to California to be with this boyfriend
Speaker 1: who's cheating on him? Who is what? Who's Jim who's
Speaker 1: like maybe cheating on him? Sounds like a fucking mess.
Speaker 1: And I think you should get all new friends, get
Speaker 1: a job like Jim, but Jim lives here, but he's
Speaker 1: moving to California and here, but Jim is hitting up
Speaker 1: on dating apps from California. He's like back and forth.
Speaker 1: People who people who are by coastal who already have
Speaker 1: a fucking boyfriend, who like try to like dip dip
Speaker 1: a chip into different bowls, Like, you can't have both
Speaker 1: coasts and a boyfriend, exactly and beyond. That's the rule
Speaker 1: of Culture Act. That's the rule Coature number thirty. You
Speaker 1: can't have both coast East coast West coast a boyfriend
Speaker 1: picked two ye wait, yeah, I wouldn't touch it, don't
Speaker 1: engage with it. I mean, are you asking questions? What
Speaker 1: would you say? Sorry? Sorry, Sathers Wining in Go obviously
Speaker 1: East Coasting boyfriend. Oh, yes, I disagree. Oh for me?
Speaker 1: For me boyfriends boyfriends, says Coast. My question isn't whether
Speaker 1: or not I should sleep with the boyfriend, because obviously
Speaker 1: I would do that. My question is should I tell
Speaker 1: the person I work with? Oh, that's your question, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: I let him know that his boyfriend's you know, like,
Speaker 1: should I tell the personal I work with his boyfriend? Can't?
Speaker 1: He says? Can I tell you something? I think it's
Speaker 1: it depends such on the nuance of your relationship with
Speaker 1: Bob and if you care if he lives or dies
Speaker 1: when he moves to California will not be good for
Speaker 1: his a Is he an actor? Ultimately? Is the question? Again? Also,
Speaker 1: I think you need to stop thinking about this because
Speaker 1: the more you think about it, the hotter it's gonna
Speaker 1: feel between you and this guy, and it's going to
Speaker 1: become unbearable and you're gonna suck him. Sweetie. I feel like,
Speaker 1: don't be a randomista, don't get in their business. Don't
Speaker 1: be a randomista. Don't random don't get in their business.
Speaker 1: And thank you so much for thanking much. Thank you
Speaker 1: cole More. Hello, Hello, So I know you said, you
Speaker 1: wanted this to be sure, but my friends kind of
Speaker 1: in a complex situation, you might be in this room
Speaker 1: even actually, but so we started seeing this guy and
Speaker 1: he makes phallic sculptures. He makes vallet phalla sculptures, not
Speaker 1: valets soldiers. Great, I hope I sitcom. She's a pax.
Speaker 1: Sounds like it would be in a sitcom, but it's
Speaker 1: real life. He's a really nice guy. I've met him. Okay,
Speaker 1: but there's this other situation where he had a summer
Speaker 1: fling and this boy started texting him again and he's
Speaker 1: unsure whether he should open that can of worms. Well,
Speaker 1: is the only bad not even bad? Is the only
Speaker 1: thing about him that gives you concern that he's a
Speaker 1: phallic sculptor? I mean, is it concerning? Not to me?
Speaker 1: I once had a huge crush on I once had
Speaker 1: a huge crush on someone that did extremely erotic tattoos.
Speaker 1: Not the same. I mean, don't you have a question,
Speaker 1: which is that are you involved in this situation? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not, But you've been sent here as a proxy? Yes, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: So this gentleman that's here is dating someone who's a
Speaker 1: phallic sculptor. However, the fling from the summer is now
Speaker 1: appearing and he wants her. You want to know if
Speaker 1: you should open that can of worms precisely? Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: so wait, sorry, just to clarify, the phallax sculptor is
Speaker 1: from the summer and now he's coming back or yeah,
Speaker 1: so the flat no no, no, no no, the fallax
Speaker 1: sculptor is right now, he is a fall, he's the fall.
Speaker 1: But another another layer to this is that the fall fling,
Speaker 1: So we go to sculptu Vagina, we go to so
Speaker 1: the fall fling is local and the summer fling would
Speaker 1: have to be long distance. Okay, so not that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's exclusive with the sculptor the fall sculpture to say,
Speaker 1: I would say winter is coming. Yeah, I would love
Speaker 1: to be exclusive with a sculptor. Up. This sounds so
Speaker 1: manifold and crazy and I'm sorry I'm using terrible words.
Speaker 1: I think you Yeah, open that canni worms. In terms
Speaker 1: of like confronting him about this guy who's texting him again, yes,
Speaker 1: in terms of becoming romantically involved again with Summer Boy.
Speaker 1: How good was it was? Summer Boy? Was it good? Where? Yeah?
Speaker 1: This is what are you waiting by? If he wants
Speaker 1: to expose himself. I will not explore. I think that
Speaker 1: he assured were ever you are if you can hear
Speaker 1: me right now, I think you should. Um, I say
Speaker 1: East Coast boyfriend's day with the ball sculptor. O. No, no,
Speaker 1: that was good. And we want to thank you when
Speaker 1: this person for speaking coach trying to give my friend
Speaker 1: Julia shout out because she loves you guys so much
Speaker 1: and she's been waiting, like for the months since we've
Speaker 1: had these tickets. She's been excited every single day. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for the question. Okay, yes, hello, go ahead. Sorry.
Speaker 1: So I recently match with someone unhinge while in New York. Yes,
Speaker 1: he's not from New York. He's living in Chicago, moving
Speaker 1: to l A. We start talking a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I go to l which is famously part of New
Speaker 1: York City. Uh, and I go camping with him in
Speaker 1: Joshua Tree. Um. Not a popular decision amongst my friends.
Speaker 1: What's so ever? So? I was told you may be killed,
Speaker 1: you may like come back to us, and they were
Speaker 1: all very concerned. I do it anyway. It was great.
Speaker 1: We like hit it off, had the best time. I'm
Speaker 1: going to Chicago this week. To see him again plot twist.
Speaker 1: He's not Minogue. I don't know the first time. I
Speaker 1: don't know, and I guess I am looking for advice,
Speaker 1: like do I keep doing this? He's not going to
Speaker 1: kill me. We talked pretty regularly. So do you think
Speaker 1: it would bother you to be in a non monog
Speaker 1: situation right now? And he's in l I have no problem.
Speaker 1: He's so far away. And but if you're in the
Speaker 1: same city, like you think that will bump you out?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think you should say when we
Speaker 1: get in the same city, won't we assess you? Also,
Speaker 1: you're saying where it's like New York, l A, Chicago.
Speaker 1: I have to ask is an actor? Is an actor?
Speaker 1: Is a comedian? No, he's like start up? Okay, he's
Speaker 1: a startup. It's like a start up. He does like
Speaker 1: the I don't know. He sets up small companies too,
Speaker 1: and we all start ups in a way. I'm Australian
Speaker 1: now this part, we all start up, and we all
Speaker 1: start up in a this I think, keep seeing him
Speaker 1: until it feels bad. Yeah, I would always this has
Speaker 1: this has this has too many layers, and then do
Speaker 1: it just a bit longer. Thank you? Thank you for speaking.
Speaker 1: We're gonna just speed round so we can get to everyone.
Speaker 1: Speed round. Hi, So this is gonna be for Catherine?
Speaker 1: Then love it? Love it great? So I oh, okay whatever. Um. So,
Speaker 1: I was in high school, I had a boyfriend, we
Speaker 1: dated great. I went off to college, didn't speak to
Speaker 1: him for three years. I'm now a senior and I
Speaker 1: got this message from his now girlfriend and I have
Speaker 1: no idea what it means. Um context, my freshman year,
Speaker 1: I was on Facebook looking at his account, and uh,
Speaker 1: there was a picture of this girl next to him,
Speaker 1: and she's sitting in her skirt like was sort of
Speaker 1: pulled up and her legs were together and it looked
Speaker 1: like her vagina was on the internet. And so I
Speaker 1: like messaged him. I guess I don't really remember. This
Speaker 1: was three years ago. And so she messages me this
Speaker 1: from his Facebook account and i'ven't talked to him three years.
Speaker 1: She goes, Hey, Sally, that's me. I needed to let
Speaker 1: this out, even though it's been three years since it
Speaker 1: has happened, but I need this to have a closure.
Speaker 1: F I. I this is Dylan's g F who's vagina
Speaker 1: was on Facebook? Were you yeah? Yeah? Were you were
Speaker 1: you a dumbass or needed glasses because of your miserable
Speaker 1: soul back, needed an outlet, whatever fucked up ship happened
Speaker 1: to you, you felt like you had the right to
Speaker 1: comment about someone you didn't even know. Just letting you
Speaker 1: know that you can reflect on yourself in your words
Speaker 1: so that you won't do that to someone else in
Speaker 1: the future. Sending you prayers that you will learn self love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that you won't be so toxic to other people. Yeah, So, like,
Speaker 1: what what's that mean? What's that mean, Sally? This girl
Speaker 1: needs so much treatment. If you're ignored nor never change,
Speaker 1: ignore her, ignore her? Oh yeah, you know you don't.
Speaker 1: Don't engage you do you don't have to respond? That's bad?
Speaker 1: Oh God? Or answer her question? Are you a dumbouk
Speaker 1: or need and everyone? To me, I'd be like amazing
Speaker 1: to meet you digitally. I am a dumbass, but I
Speaker 1: have to be honest with the fact that I've seen
Speaker 1: your vagina on Facebook dot com. Yeah yeah, Oh, hold
Speaker 1: on one more thought. Anyone who uses Facebook is spiritually
Speaker 1: sick and needs go. Thank you for culture. Thank you? Wow? Okay,
Speaker 1: math Part math PARTA. I'll try and be really fast Okay,
Speaker 1: so outline, m hm, really fast bullet point. I'm best
Speaker 1: friends with this guy. Yeah, Um, he has a serious girlfriend.
Speaker 1: While he has a girlfriend, we accidentally kind of fall
Speaker 1: in love. Okay, accidentally in love. It's accounting Crows song,
Speaker 1: so we know exactly what you mean. He breaks up
Speaker 1: with his girlfriend. After they break up, Um, we all
Speaker 1: go out drinking together, and he and I spontaneously decided
Speaker 1: to get a hotel room together. Okay, what to get
Speaker 1: a hotel room together? They were broken up, they're broken up.
Speaker 1: A week later, I find out that he's talking to
Speaker 1: his girlfriend again and they're probably going to get back together.
Speaker 1: Is he a scumbag? Or is he just confused? I
Speaker 1: gotta be honest with you. Yeah, but are you? Are you?
Speaker 1: Mad am? I mad about which part? You don't even
Speaker 1: seem that bothered? You look fucking cute. You're out of
Speaker 1: the show in this audience. There's so many straight guys here,
Speaker 1: who are you ready to absolutely mingle and crush and slam?
Speaker 1: I just said a dog whistle was counting Crows. They're
Speaker 1: so fucking horny right now. All the straight guys in
Speaker 1: here are so hard, I said, counting Crows, And you
Speaker 1: you can hear the dicks rise cheer. Is you straight? Cheer?
Speaker 1: If you're a straight guy. If you're here, my god,
Speaker 1: thank you for a speaking culture. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: straight man. This question is for Pat. I am so
Speaker 1: glad I got you? Are you glad you got me?
Speaker 1: I think we shared in the voice where we all turns.
Speaker 1: We hear a question we want to advise on. We
Speaker 1: turn around. Oh that's for next show. Next we're doing
Speaker 1: the voice. I'm sorry, this is your moment you had
Speaker 1: the floor. Okay, So last year, I'm fortuning tested positive
Speaker 1: for HIV and I immediately after I went on my
Speaker 1: apps and changed my status because I'm honest, And within
Speaker 1: a couple of days of doing that, I started getting solicitations. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the issue I'm having is, you know, some of
Speaker 1: these guys are kind of hot. I probably wouldn't get
Speaker 1: them in a million years, and some of them have
Speaker 1: offered me money. Okay, are they like buck chasers? Basically?
Speaker 1: Like yes, like they're they're they're they're negative. But I
Speaker 1: get I get these every I get two of them
Speaker 1: a week. I'm scared. How does that make you feel?
Speaker 1: I don't know how to feel about it. Like it's
Speaker 1: I try to be non judgmental about people's sexual interests,
Speaker 1: but I'm always I'm always saying, they're typing to them.
Speaker 1: Why you know what I would do? It's impossible to know.
Speaker 1: That's such a unique situation. I think that, for one,
Speaker 1: I think you should just take a break from it
Speaker 1: so you understand your relationship with your with what your
Speaker 1: situation is, and then when you know how to even
Speaker 1: feel at it, you can start dealing with it again
Speaker 1: if you want to. But I think, like even the
Speaker 1: fact that you're a little confused about how you feel
Speaker 1: about it and it's a sensitive thing, I would just
Speaker 1: block it out for a little bit n till you
Speaker 1: have some more clarity. All right, Yeah, thank you, that's
Speaker 1: so thank you. Last one, hie. Hi guys, before I start,
Speaker 1: can I take a selfie with you? Yeah? Thank you?
Speaker 1: You look amazing. Thank you. If I I said no, okay,
Speaker 1: so you all might be unqualified to answer this, Okay,
Speaker 1: Cat might be the most thanks for coming. Cat might
Speaker 1: be the most qualified because she was b for a
Speaker 1: little bit on New Year's Eve. She was I'm in theory,
Speaker 1: not in practice. She was open to it. So I
Speaker 1: am b and I'm recently out of a relationship long
Speaker 1: term relationship with a man, and I want to casually
Speaker 1: date women. But all of the lesbians in New York
Speaker 1: love monogamy, so I need advice on how to find
Speaker 1: a casual female lover. Um. I literally see a raised
Speaker 1: hand and someone someone be commoted to become friend. To
Speaker 1: get the case, people, I know that's not the only
Speaker 1: JUNI lesbian up in here tonight. I mean, congratulations on,
Speaker 1: congratulations on being ah, yes, this is this is not
Speaker 1: pejorative a slutty by person. That's that's like like the
Speaker 1: world's your oyster. I they love monotomy, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: preclude you from like having sex with him and then
Speaker 1: not paying attention to them after hers right it is
Speaker 1: to take into account their feelings this much, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I mean people get away with it all the time.
Speaker 1: And for you, as a queer woman to exercise that
Speaker 1: revolutionary I say, duett, break as many hearts to see
Speaker 1: and then go talk to her. It's also not your
Speaker 1: problem that they didn't understand when you say that you're like,
Speaker 1: just fuck him and just just be up front, just like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I just got out of a relationship with
Speaker 1: with the student. And I think I'm just I think
Speaker 1: I want to do a fun little tour and that's
Speaker 1: that's it, you know. Yeah, I keep getting friend zoned
Speaker 1: when I say that. Really after after after you hook up, though,
Speaker 1: don't just just just don't bring it up until afternoon.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's nothing I've done with you a
Speaker 1: truth teller, thank you. There's there's nothing like inethical about that.
Speaker 1: Unless they say, before you woke up, do you want
Speaker 1: a relationship? I can't tell you for forty five minutes. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's long. Um, well, I think I think that's it.
Speaker 1: That's my honest that's my honest answer. Have less of
Speaker 1: a conscience that sure cares taking dank dank anky Dan,
Speaker 1: thank you for culture. Okay, I think this is this
Speaker 1: is this is the time of the night where we
Speaker 1: bring on a guest. We bring a guest on stage, um,
Speaker 1: and they're going to give us advice because we we
Speaker 1: we in our first act we didn't really we explore
Speaker 1: each other's diseases, but no one really ever gave us
Speaker 1: or conferred upon us any advice. So you could almost
Speaker 1: say we didn't accomplish anything in the first section. So
Speaker 1: at this time, we are going to be welcoming to
Speaker 1: this stage a very special guest of ours that's going
Speaker 1: to give us some advice and give you all advice
Speaker 1: really truly by proxy. He is a Tony Award winning actor. Um.
Speaker 1: He was just in the Netflix show The Politician. Um.
Speaker 1: He's just a lovely, lovely person. Please welcome to the stage, Bena,
Speaker 1: Mr Bad Yeah Ben, what Oh my god? A throw Wow.
Speaker 1: I just want to say that I feel really at
Speaker 1: home because we are in a house of Jewish worship
Speaker 1: yea um. But at the same time, I feel really
Speaker 1: sad because if this was an Orthodox house of worship,
Speaker 1: all the women would have to sit up there. I know, lady,
Speaker 1: and I don't like that. Ladies come down from there,
Speaker 1: Ladies get down from there. It's nineteen Uh. Well, I
Speaker 1: guess before we get before we really get into it,
Speaker 1: do you are you taking treatment or seaking culture for anything?
Speaker 1: You know what? Yes, it's a mutual jerk, yes, sure.
Speaker 1: I mean it's kind of a weirdly specific thing that
Speaker 1: I'm like seeking. I'm in this weird kind of moment
Speaker 1: where I, for the first time have like some agency creatively. Um,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to figure out like how irresponsible it
Speaker 1: is to purely only do things that like make me
Speaker 1: very happy and fulfilled as a person, but aren't necessarily
Speaker 1: like the smart moves to make, or to only be
Speaker 1: making the very smart moves that I'm acted to make
Speaker 1: by the people around me, if they're not sort of
Speaker 1: as fulfilling to me as the like other stuff. So
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to juggle those two worlds. So we'll
Speaker 1: just quickly give you career advice. Yeah, yeah, because I
Speaker 1: want to be where you are. Okay, Cathol's type while
Speaker 1: she's going off, I feel like it's like I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think, what if I were as talented as Ben Plat, well,
Speaker 1: would I do? I think I would do literally anything
Speaker 1: I wanted because it doesn't matter because like even if
Speaker 1: you were to do something that wasn't like there was
Speaker 1: a little off the beaten path or whatever, you could
Speaker 1: always come back and literally do anything you wanted. Because
Speaker 1: I think you're in a unique position of being talented
Speaker 1: at everything. And I think, um, well, it depends like
Speaker 1: whose career. I think you look at other people's careers,
Speaker 1: like for me, I would like when I think about
Speaker 1: like a career aren't like Amy Sedarius is so appealing
Speaker 1: because it feels like she truly does whatever she wants.
Speaker 1: Are a sus Jerry. He's a combination of David Sedaris.
Speaker 1: Let me, no, you're not. He's wrong. He's talented, but
Speaker 1: that was wrong. I think it sounds fun to be
Speaker 1: able to like pay run to like a nice place,
Speaker 1: but then also like be quirky over once. But is
Speaker 1: it like an either or situation, like purely or is
Speaker 1: it like a is it like I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: of a good example, is like a Natalie apartment who
Speaker 1: does like one for you one for me? Altern can
Speaker 1: you do a Mark? It's an option to a Marvel
Speaker 1: movie every four years. Yeah, when Marvel calls me, I'll
Speaker 1: let you know. But it hasn't happened. Is that option
Speaker 1: now where you like, you do one thing that's like
Speaker 1: fulfilling for you and then you just you set some
Speaker 1: powdern around it? I think, yeah, I think so. I
Speaker 1: think that the thing I keep running into is that
Speaker 1: when I say the thing I love, the thing fills
Speaker 1: me up or whatever. Usually I mean theater and musical theater,
Speaker 1: and that requires like at least like a six seven
Speaker 1: month situation so I'm just trying to like not you know,
Speaker 1: be an idiot, but also like do what I love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: anyway I feel do you feel like, yeah, well Catherine
Speaker 1: has a whole thing. Oh my god, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Here we go. Thanks for asking, Ben Plat. My advice
Speaker 1: is to do whatever you want, whenever you want to
Speaker 1: do it. That's what I do. And now I'm typing
Speaker 1: on a computer near some of my best friends on
Speaker 1: stage in Brooklyn. Anything is possible. That being said, musical
Speaker 1: theater is life ruining. H Yeah, So is there is
Speaker 1: there anything that you want to do that's like absolutely freaky?
Speaker 1: Like if if if you told us right now, we
Speaker 1: would be like, oh that is that legal? No? I
Speaker 1: wish really, I mean, do you have any suggestions? But no,
Speaker 1: I thought you were like like, I don't know. Like sometimes,
Speaker 1: do you guys remember on American Idols Season one? Um,
Speaker 1: do you guys remember Ryan's starr? Okay, do you remember
Speaker 1: here Ryan? It's a she is stupid bit. Her name
Speaker 1: was Ryan with two ends Star with two rs? And
Speaker 1: do you remember when she she did the first few
Speaker 1: weeks and Simon Calli said to her, you could be
Speaker 1: Britney Spears and then she came out and she's saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: you really got me now, and she didn't like like that,
Speaker 1: and she got out. So what I'm saying is, don't
Speaker 1: take risks, be Britney Spears or else you're gonna be
Speaker 1: Ryan Star and you're gonna be shooting up in bed
Speaker 1: because you your face finally flushed because some fags said
Speaker 1: your name in Brooklyn tonight. Just kidding, take risks, it's
Speaker 1: me Ryan Stark. Anyway, then I think I think you've
Speaker 1: already I think it's this is this is going off
Speaker 1: with Matt, what Matt was saying earlier, but maybe it's
Speaker 1: adding this extra thing where I think you've already established
Speaker 1: yourself in a very very very very very good way,
Speaker 1: an impressive way. And I think you can't straight too
Speaker 1: far from that center. I mean, no matter how far
Speaker 1: off you've hear, that's always going to be accessible to you.
Speaker 1: Just keep just just do what you want and then
Speaker 1: if it feels wrong and then you just you just
Speaker 1: just change. Yeah. Or I think, um, something about my
Speaker 1: gorgeous human brain, which say it with me belongs in
Speaker 1: a trash ball. Um. I think the idea of like
Speaker 1: if I was if I was you. I wake up
Speaker 1: one day, I'm like, okay, I'm randomly Ben Plat, I
Speaker 1: would um uh and someone and someone like even Bowen
Speaker 1: Yang was like, don't straight from the course like that
Speaker 1: would make me. I would be like, actually, like I'm
Speaker 1: going to do something psychotic, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like um, I was saying, he can straight from right
Speaker 1: right right, but you'll end up back on some like
Speaker 1: it'll all look looking back, it'll all make sense. I
Speaker 1: think there's like one thing you really want to do
Speaker 1: that you should do it. But if it's like nothing
Speaker 1: and it just would be to be random, then don't.
Speaker 1: Thanks you guys, Yeah, don't be a random mista. Um Ben,
Speaker 1: do you have advice for us? Please be as candidates.
Speaker 1: Can I get like an area or like a question
Speaker 1: or like what you're like, yes, should I have children?
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, given what you said before, I feel
Speaker 1: I could get into some legal trouble for saying yes.
Speaker 1: But I know, but you're you. I think you'd be
Speaker 1: a wonderful dad from the little that I know. Can
Speaker 1: I tell you something. One of the things that is
Speaker 1: like a weird thing I think about sometimes is I
Speaker 1: actually I do feel like I I know, and so
Speaker 1: I know that there's kids out there that like need
Speaker 1: a dad and so, and some of my best friends
Speaker 1: are adopted, and so I just feel like it kind
Speaker 1: of makes me feel like, why would I not if
Speaker 1: I'm able to and capable of doing it, Why would
Speaker 1: I not give a child a loving home? And I
Speaker 1: know that, like with the way that I feel about
Speaker 1: the things I care about, I know I would. I
Speaker 1: would obviously commit to being a father, like you can't
Speaker 1: just be a father. And it's like, well, this is
Speaker 1: my Tuesday through Wednesday thing. Um, but it's it is
Speaker 1: like it is, but it is a thing. And it's
Speaker 1: like he said he didn't want children and I was
Speaker 1: like oh, and I was like, well I don't want
Speaker 1: kids either. But then it's like is that a selfish
Speaker 1: way to think? And then ultimately am I like a
Speaker 1: selfish person? Blah blah blah. I don't think I would
Speaker 1: have like a natural child because if you're gay and
Speaker 1: we aren't rats, Yeah, but what I a child with you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have a child with you? Yes, Kelma or an
Speaker 1: your child? Kel So, I don't know. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: interesting to think about do you have a child with Katherine,
Speaker 1: I would, but I have to have with with Beanie
Speaker 1: Felstine first. Yeah, Beanie first, And then you get in
Speaker 1: line Cohen, do you want children? Here's the thing, really
Speaker 1: really badly and I always have and like the only
Speaker 1: thing I've known that I wanted to do besides like
Speaker 1: sing around and beyond people's stages, is like be a father.
Speaker 1: But now I feel like a deep existential terror of
Speaker 1: like can I bring a child into a world that
Speaker 1: is slowly ending? I know that's a thing, that's a thing,
Speaker 1: but you wouldn't be bringing it in. I feel like
Speaker 1: gay Manner in a position where it's like you're it's
Speaker 1: almost a gift to be able to adopt a child
Speaker 1: because there's so many children in the world. You need families.
Speaker 1: That is true. That is true, so hopefully yeah maybe,
Speaker 1: um and we get that. In writing, Katherine has a
Speaker 1: question should I get a boyfriend? Child? You want to
Speaker 1: get my voice back? The first part where should I what?
Speaker 1: Should I have a boyfriend? Should I get a boyfriend?
Speaker 1: Should get a boyfriend? And how do I get my
Speaker 1: voice back? Um? Don't only if it's like undeniable you
Speaker 1: should get a boyfriend. I feel like if if you
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning feeling anything other than all
Speaker 1: I wanted to do is be with this person. Then like,
Speaker 1: no need to have a boyfriend. I think I'm trying
Speaker 1: myself also to get like more comfy in the gray area.
Speaker 1: So I think, like, live in that area until your
Speaker 1: heart is saying, honey, no more living in the gray area. Um.
Speaker 1: And then about your voice, I mean, get a good
Speaker 1: n T. We talked a little bit about who your
Speaker 1: e n T is. I don't I've never heard of him,
Speaker 1: but he sounds lovely. Um. Um. If there's one thing, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if there's one thing I know, it's my e NT.
Speaker 1: I spend more time in there than anywhere else. He
Speaker 1: lives around the corner for me. Um, A lot of water,
Speaker 1: a lot of quiet. What you're doing now is amazing,
Speaker 1: And the fact that you have the talents and faculties
Speaker 1: to still be incredible without your voice is amazing. Catherine
Speaker 1: almost wasn't kind of come, and we were all I come.
Speaker 1: They would have been so mad if you didn't come
Speaker 1: and enjoy this time of silence and joy. I had
Speaker 1: to be silent for a couple of weeks because of
Speaker 1: a very similar thing. I had to pole up and
Speaker 1: I found that I like observed things about my friends
Speaker 1: and family that I had never noticed before because I
Speaker 1: couldn't be opening my mouth all the time. So I
Speaker 1: feel very connected. And Manuka honey, yes, Manuka honey, that's correct.
Speaker 1: It's very good for you. Um what do I do
Speaker 1: about what I do about seeking out like specifically bad
Speaker 1: like negative feedback about myself? You want it? Well, no,
Speaker 1: it's not that he wanted. It's just but it's just that,
Speaker 1: like it's it's like this I can't help you with
Speaker 1: because I'm the same way. Like if if I read
Speaker 1: like ten things and one of them is bad, the
Speaker 1: only thing I think about is a bad one, and
Speaker 1: I look for more like that, Like when the politician
Speaker 1: came out and I was reading like some people saying
Speaker 1: things all over on line. Then one person was like,
Speaker 1: that guy looks throughty. He's not in high school. And
Speaker 1: then and then I literally searched in Twitter like Ben
Speaker 1: Plat two and just like anything and somebody who is
Speaker 1: five years older than Ben Platt, I feel like those
Speaker 1: comments are pejorative to me. Your ageless stop that right now.
Speaker 1: I think it's in our nature somehow to want to know,
Speaker 1: like I think I always want to have the information
Speaker 1: rather than to imagine what the information could be, because
Speaker 1: it's always worse. Whatever imagine in my head is always
Speaker 1: worse than the reality, even if the reality is like shitty. Um.
Speaker 1: But if you're so, if we're already doing this, then like,
Speaker 1: what is your coping mechanism around this now? Because I
Speaker 1: don't know how to like, I think I'm just getting
Speaker 1: a thicker skin and that's good, but I'm also like,
Speaker 1: but I still think about it constantly. Here's my like,
Speaker 1: um coping like healthy coping mechanism. It's just like a
Speaker 1: like really paying attention to the nice things and also
Speaker 1: the people that I actually who's who are in my
Speaker 1: life and whose opinions I really do value, and my
Speaker 1: friends who will like tell me the truth, be like
Speaker 1: that was shitty or like that was beautiful, and like
Speaker 1: really tell me to my face. And then the bad
Speaker 1: coming mechanism is that I'll look at whoever's account it
Speaker 1: was that was mean, and I'll find out that they're
Speaker 1: either not very intelligent or they love Trump. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. Yeah he um, I don't know how do
Speaker 1: I um stop right now? So I'm gonna be really
Speaker 1: vulnerable right now kind of if we can have um
Speaker 1: all the everyone pass out some tissues, that would be amazing.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been freaking out lately about my
Speaker 1: physical pearance because my belt wouldn't fit even this night
Speaker 1: that we are in and I just wanted to vote
Speaker 1: less emotional energy. It's been like a lifelong fucking struggle
Speaker 1: to like and it's so weirdly tied up in gay
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever heard of it, and um,
Speaker 1: I just don't know where it began or how to get.
Speaker 1: Every time I think I'm doing better with it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I've only like beaten the ship out
Speaker 1: of myself in my head for how I look for
Speaker 1: the past like thirty six hours and I don't know
Speaker 1: how to stop. And my therapist is name Daniel, and
Speaker 1: he only sometimes is helpful, and whenever I excited a
Speaker 1: question to him, he says, what do you think that
Speaker 1: I asked if he watched to be a Housewives? And
Speaker 1: he You're gonna get a load of this. He goes,
Speaker 1: what do you think if I watch for Housewives? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, Daniel, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: be a human for one. So to all of that,
Speaker 1: I mean, all I can say, I think is that
Speaker 1: I see you and then I feel the same way,
Speaker 1: and then I have the same experience and the body
Speaker 1: just smore feels so real, and that like from where
Speaker 1: I'm sitting, you're very beautiful and very handsome, and that
Speaker 1: means nothing because that's the response that you get when
Speaker 1: you ask something like that. And I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: And I feel like I dissect my appearance as well,
Speaker 1: particularly because I'm like on camera and things like that
Speaker 1: and like pictures and like I think digital stuff in
Speaker 1: my face and I'm on the web. Yeah no, I
Speaker 1: know we have podcasts, but I mean, because then the
Speaker 1: voice comes in where it's like, of course, then plasts
Speaker 1: gonna say that we're on a stage in front of
Speaker 1: seven Hondo, like he would have to be have a
Speaker 1: true so psychopath to be like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like those voices all keep undermining everything you think and
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh my god, it's literally too hours later,
Speaker 1: and um I'm late to murmur and bo and young
Speaker 1: is gonna be mad at me when I get there.
Speaker 1: But whatever, I just I don't know how to make
Speaker 1: the voices stop and I'm pro exactly trying to make
Speaker 1: me stop lifting up my shirt in public, and uh
Speaker 1: it doesn't. I have a joke in my stand up
Speaker 1: where I stay Prozac is supposed to help my body
Speaker 1: just morphia, but I'm gonna place for either prozact doesn't
Speaker 1: work or my body looks like that. Do you mean
Speaker 1: lifting up your shirt in public to like check yourself?
Speaker 1: It's like a weird o c D where I I
Speaker 1: never thought I had o c D because I'm a
Speaker 1: slovenly pig who lives in Felth, but um, I um
Speaker 1: have all these weird o c D things like checking,
Speaker 1: like I have to check all the time. Me too,
Speaker 1: Me too all the time. And after like I've eaten
Speaker 1: to like some like a meal or something. It's always
Speaker 1: like before I go to bed, just like where where where?
Speaker 1: What's the status? Quote? Now? Like where are we at today?
Speaker 1: Which is awful, but like it's when we have you know,
Speaker 1: I mean I can't speak for like who you're sort
Speaker 1: of comparing yourself to you, but for me it's like
Speaker 1: I look at like you know, Timmy shallow May and
Speaker 1: Lucas Edges and like all of these beautiful anti l Gore,
Speaker 1: you know, like all these very beautiful and for man
Speaker 1: and you feel like either I need to be like
Speaker 1: stacked or need to be like a pin, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I just was running a lot, so I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess probably going with Pin for the summer. But
Speaker 1: now and then I hurt my friends. I can't runtil
Speaker 1: my should I go for stacks? Like should I pay
Speaker 1: blank Fitness back to actually like oh them? Um um?
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's one together, like the every day I
Speaker 1: was talking to Katherine's lover and he was like, well,
Speaker 1: how small are you trying to get? And I was like,
Speaker 1: it's not about small, Like, uh, it's like right now,
Speaker 1: I'm closer to Pin than Stacks, so we should be small.
Speaker 1: But if I was trying to be stacked, then it's
Speaker 1: like we don't have to be small, but like we
Speaker 1: better have shoulders. I feel like the answers that you
Speaker 1: and I should just go out and eat together, Like
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the answer for both of us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would love that. Uh yeah, I just do a
Speaker 1: lot of people feel like that. It honestly makes yeah, right.
Speaker 1: I think probably every human being looks in the mirror
Speaker 1: and they're like, well, no, and I every day it's
Speaker 1: hill in the cool way. Yeah, but I always I
Speaker 1: always feel like no one's looking at you as closely
Speaker 1: as you were looking at and that's you. And Kather
Speaker 1: knows my stance on this is whenever you're like, I
Speaker 1: think that personates me, and everyone's like, no one's thinking
Speaker 1: about you as much as you are. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: spend my entire day thinking about other people and if
Speaker 1: I hate them or not. So it's like, you don't
Speaker 1: invalidate me, bitch, absolutely cut me off with the nag
Speaker 1: people say. One time sometimes someone told me that gave
Speaker 1: me that advice, and then we went on the next
Speaker 1: second to talk about how this girl was being annoying
Speaker 1: with her dog and the place me just where, and
Speaker 1: I was like, someone's telling that girl right now that
Speaker 1: no one's thinking about her the dog, and they're wrong.
Speaker 1: They're wrong. People are thinking about you. I'm sorry, it's
Speaker 1: an ugly true. Everyone's thinking about you all the time, Okay,
Speaker 1: but specifically this stuff though, this is I think this
Speaker 1: is probably like all pseudoscience stuff like armchair analysis nonsense,
Speaker 1: but I think like limbic brain stuff where it's just
Speaker 1: like you're it's lizard brain stuff where that that's just
Speaker 1: telling you that like you're worth This is like Martha
Speaker 1: beck kind of right to the bonus, pointing towards Tammy
Speaker 1: Seger in the front row. We're all renounced therapist. Is
Speaker 1: this like kind of Martha Becky where she's like Nate
Speaker 1: like like literally draw out a little tiny lizard and
Speaker 1: that is your lizard brain like feeding you like disgusting
Speaker 1: thoughts throughout your day about yourself. Name it, draw it,
Speaker 1: characterize it. You cannot take it seriously. And then like
Speaker 1: it's perched on your shoulder like it's whispering like shitty
Speaker 1: things to you all day and you you literally just
Speaker 1: like brush it off as often as you can because
Speaker 1: there's no there's no use in like holding onto it.
Speaker 1: This is actually anti Jone diddion. There's no use in
Speaker 1: holding onto it and examining it. It's actually you just
Speaker 1: you just you just brush it off and there's there's
Speaker 1: no function in like holding It's this and this is
Speaker 1: burnet brown stuff, where it's like there's there's there's no
Speaker 1: use in like people are gonna fling sh it you
Speaker 1: from the cheap seats all the time and there's no
Speaker 1: use in picking it up and looking at the ship.
Speaker 1: You just let it, let it, don't even let it
Speaker 1: hit you, and then when it does, just let it
Speaker 1: slide off. There's no there's no use in just picking
Speaker 1: it up. That's the medicine for your own disease. But
Speaker 1: that's so interesting about lizard because, um, because I told
Speaker 1: Catherine the other day in a car, I said, if
Speaker 1: I had Virginia gave me three wishes, one of my
Speaker 1: wishes would be that lizards didn't exist because I hate lizards.
Speaker 1: You would say that I met, lizards are not snakes.
Speaker 1: You're fucking wacko. Yeah, if I had to pick one
Speaker 1: to not exist, to be lizards and no until lizard brain,
Speaker 1: Can I just ask an irelevant question because I always
Speaker 1: wanted to ask. I I know two of the answers
Speaker 1: because I got to find out earlier today. But what
Speaker 1: are our caton pats um Hogwarts houses? So how do
Speaker 1: you know? Yeah? Mine, I think I can be a
Speaker 1: Slytherin for sure. Um. I then I have like raven
Speaker 1: cloth because I'm so quick. Um. And then so it's hardy.
Speaker 1: I think the one that I know that I'm not
Speaker 1: is Griffin door and I'm okay with that. Um, I
Speaker 1: only say Hufflepuff because I am guy, but I mean,
Speaker 1: but besides that, I think it's like routing out. I
Speaker 1: would be like raving horr Suther and raven horror slyther End.
Speaker 1: I think ultimately raven claw. I would agree you think
Speaker 1: he's a raven Claw. Yes, if those are my two options, yes, sorry,
Speaker 1: I am a Hufflepuff and my Slytherin just came out
Speaker 1: and it's in there. I think I'm huff. Ben is
Speaker 1: a Hufflepuff. People think that Slytherin means you're mean. It's
Speaker 1: justus ambitious, loyalty, bravery, connect, connect strategy. I think him.
Speaker 1: Catherine says, I think I'm Griff. I would say you
Speaker 1: have griff energy. Being a Leo was very Griffin. Door Scorio.
Speaker 1: What do they say? What is the say about Katherine?
Speaker 1: Everyone shout out, shout out the signs that you think
Speaker 1: everyone is Catherine, Matt okay, Pat, Oh my god, are
Speaker 1: we the four Houses or Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravelo gorgeous? That's amazing,
Speaker 1: that's actually amazing. And Ben is our headmaster, who is
Speaker 1: not Dumbledore. Dumbledore. I can feel God and here didn't
Speaker 1: know it. I can feel God in here tonight. That's
Speaker 1: like reminiscent of when I said, is one of your
Speaker 1: friend's named She's beautiful? She's beautiful? Is beautiful? I think?
Speaker 1: I think wait, hold on, weight, I feel psychotic about
Speaker 1: something that I've been dating someone for five months and
Speaker 1: I was like, what about kids? What the fuck is that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was kind of what we were all thinking. I
Speaker 1: feel like a lesbiyan Um. Okay, they moved so fast.
Speaker 1: I do that. I'm I'm a Charlotte. I'm a Charlotte
Speaker 1: for like a sex in the city Charlotte to pick
Speaker 1: out the China right away. You move fast, very That's
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to not do that. Now you're trying
Speaker 1: to stay in gray zone. So if you're trying to
Speaker 1: stay in Grayson right exactly, and you're already Jewish, so
Speaker 1: that's fun exactly. Someone. Yeah, everybody in my family has
Speaker 1: been married so far in order and like had children
Speaker 1: in order. I'm talking like extended family cousins, Like if
Speaker 1: you line them up by age, it's literally gone like
Speaker 1: in order. So like I better hurry out. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: why when was your last relation? Oh my goodness, my
Speaker 1: last like proper relation ended like in like summer of
Speaker 1: last year, and it was a long distance situation with
Speaker 1: an Australian person, so very long and you don't get
Speaker 1: longer than that, you don't. Me and Katherine get very
Speaker 1: angry when someone very easy lead and having an oshaw
Speaker 1: lover is the lead. Yeah, you know what the thing
Speaker 1: is about Charlotte's. The reason they're so Charlotte is because
Speaker 1: they have a side of them that's Samantha, I thought,
Speaker 1: And they're scared of their Samantha side. Are you identifying
Speaker 1: with this very much? So? Yeah, bitch, And that's why
Speaker 1: I'm like, I should have kids first time because the
Speaker 1: Samantha and me is like, for some reason, I thought
Speaker 1: you were gonna say Charlotte, Charlotte's know that they have
Speaker 1: a side pony towel. I was like, I'm never I
Speaker 1: didn't think it was about hair. I wish I could
Speaker 1: do a side pointy tail. Oh my god, what I
Speaker 1: would give to wear my hair a high. I had
Speaker 1: my nails painted for Halloween and it's the first time
Speaker 1: I've had color on my nails and now I never
Speaker 1: want to not have color on my naise I loved it.
Speaker 1: My toe nails are currently teal really yes, show for
Speaker 1: Wiki Feed. Should I do on my foot? No, I'm not. No.
Speaker 1: Who here's a who. Here's a little piggy freak. Do
Speaker 1: you love little piggies? Oh my god, envy a sound?
Speaker 1: Um Anyway, I'm so happy we found out our real houses. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I love and I love me with black nails
Speaker 1: is really fun and it makes me not bite my nails,
Speaker 1: which is amazing. Yes, me too. I'm really I bite
Speaker 1: a lot. These people stand back Calvin colored nails keeps
Speaker 1: you from biting them, that's and that's why. And that's
Speaker 1: every one day at a time. Babe. Yeah, it's one
Speaker 1: of those like dog cones of cosmetics. Yeah, it is. Um. Well,
Speaker 1: I think I think it's time for us to really
Speaker 1: close out the show with something that could be beautiful.
Speaker 1: It could be a disaster, could be both. And I
Speaker 1: think we're gonna sing a song to Ben. We're gonna
Speaker 1: sing a song to Ben, and I just want to
Speaker 1: see thank you for accepting that in a machine now welcome, Hey, listen,
Speaker 1: thanks for coming to see Culture Alive. This is really fun,
Speaker 1: and thank you Ben Platt for being our esteemed Tony
Speaker 1: winning guest who can do whatever projects he wants because
Speaker 1: he has longevity in this town. She's got longevity. Um
Speaker 1: this this show tonight was really about people coming together
Speaker 1: and about two podcasts coming together. So this is a
Speaker 1: song that really explores that theme. Sure does and justin
Speaker 1: ay ready let's hit it. This is a song called
Speaker 1: to become One Scary Spice ginger by Sporty Spice, Hash Spice,
Speaker 1: Baby Spice Soul Forever, dream of you and together, say
Speaker 1: you beleeve, They believe me, your mind down, danger bee
Speaker 1: for real, don't be stranger. We can't achieve it. We
Speaker 1: can't achieve Come on, it'll be closer men, get it all,
Speaker 1: get it all. Tonight is the night when to be
Speaker 1: Come on, baby, I had a little Now I'm back far.
Speaker 1: We're a baby at your star its breath. It's the
Speaker 1: only way to be set the games if you play
Speaker 1: in empty words, we both and work it out. Boy.
Speaker 1: Let's work it out boy, anyway to or then girls
Speaker 1: a good together, take it all, leave it, take it
Speaker 1: a lead you as good as I remember. Get it off,
Speaker 1: Get it off. Tonight it's the nice when to be.
Speaker 1: Come Oh, I want to make love to re a
Speaker 1: baby No, this is gonna sound so bad. That's just it. Free.
Speaker 1: It's the only way to be Yes, everyone, check your
Speaker 1: own diseases. This is the condom party. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Be a little bit wiser, be put it on. Put
Speaker 1: it on, because tonight it's the night when you become
Speaker 1: never laugh Before I loved you, baby, I had a
Speaker 1: little love. That we have famous that shuts staring free.
Speaker 1: It's the only way to be latus here everyone, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. My name is bow Again. I'm not
Speaker 1: rogers him. Hurry again never Forever. This has been a
Speaker 1: Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baum, Joe Cilio,
Speaker 1: and Alex Ramsay. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever
Speaker 1: Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep
Speaker 1: up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking
Speaker 1: our page on Facebook.