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Speaker 1: Thank you for You're coming back. Part two is underway.

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Speaker 1: You win to housing as a freshman, you come back

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Speaker 1: your sophomore year, and you have some issues. We start

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Speaker 1: the season off with, well, it's reported that Johnny Manziel

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Speaker 1: signed five four thousand items and this and that allegedly

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Speaker 1: allegedly allegedly Johnny side four thousand items for free.

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Speaker 2: So John here, you got you? Why put yourself in

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Speaker 2: that situation where it could be allegedly I gotta head

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Speaker 2: on my shoulders. Man, I'm smart enough to know what's

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Speaker 2: going around me. I'm seeing the money fly around me

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Speaker 2: like I'm not walking through that same bookstore, watching those

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Speaker 2: number two jerseys fly off the shelf, break me off

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Speaker 2: where I cut. It's everywhere else for everybody else. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I got seven hundred dollars a month coming in on stipend.

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Speaker 2: That ain't enough for me to do it. I mean

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Speaker 2: seal bands of money coming in. He I need seventy bands.

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Speaker 2: Seventy bands, seven seventy How the hell I'm I travel

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Speaker 2: to Miami with seven bands? What are you doing with

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Speaker 2: seven bands here? I need seventy? Wow, let me ask

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Speaker 2: you this.

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Speaker 1: Let's just say, for the sake of argument, when Johnny

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Speaker 1: Manziel his Heisman Trophy season and the season after the

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Speaker 1: nil is an existence?

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Speaker 2: How much Johnny? How much Johnny Football get probably ten million?

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Speaker 2: Yere I could have done five on my own with

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Speaker 2: the Instagram. I could have done five million a year

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Speaker 2: on my own just to the people in connections I

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Speaker 2: had on my phone. That's what a lot of people

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Speaker 2: don't understand is during this time and during this rise,

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Speaker 2: and a lot of where my downfall probably came from

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Speaker 2: is you know, I get on my phone and get

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Speaker 2: on Twitter and be like, yo, Shannon Sharp, just follow me.

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Speaker 2: Come on James Harden Drake Lebron and you partied with him.

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Speaker 2: I'm a I'm a DM away from being Rockets courtsided.

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Speaker 2: I'll be there in an hour and a half. My

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Speaker 2: access that I had in the world and people that

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Speaker 2: I wanted to be around was limitless, or just my

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Speaker 2: cell phone in a house and college station.

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Speaker 1: Had Johnny Manziell been a little bit more discreet, you

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Speaker 1: probably still could have gotten that ten But because ig

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Speaker 1: and you posted it, you at lib and you all

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Speaker 1: these places with the.

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Speaker 2: Star, They're like, man ain't nowhere here.

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Speaker 1: No college athlete have that kind of access unless he

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Speaker 1: getting broke off.

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Speaker 2: My family's rich. Yeah, and so is that.

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Speaker 1: And see you played to it because you could use that,

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Speaker 1: you know, Johnny doing that. Man, Johnny wouldn't take no money.

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Speaker 1: His family rich. Well, little did they know Johnny ain't

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Speaker 1: worth fifty million dollars like being reported.

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Speaker 2: Correct. So I wasn't discreet at that point in my life.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't calculated. I wasn't precise in how I was moving.

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Speaker 2: I was nineteen years old. I don't know nothing about

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Speaker 2: the real way of the world. I don't know nothing

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Speaker 2: about that happens in Miami. I'm a young, naive kid

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Speaker 2: out here trying to get a bag on my own, right.

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Speaker 2: I don't know nothing, and I can't tell my parents,

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Speaker 2: can't tell my coaches, don't got nobody to bounce this

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Speaker 2: information off of. And this is the point where I

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Speaker 2: start like reclusing to myself and like big problem in

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Speaker 2: my life, Shannon has been. I wake up every day

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Speaker 2: for the last ten twelve years and do exactly as

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Speaker 2: I please and exactly as I want every single day.

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Speaker 2: And as I'm moving forward in my life right now,

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Speaker 2: I believe that as a man in life, to humble

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Speaker 2: yourself and to be able to get to where you

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Speaker 2: want to go, you have to do things that you

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Speaker 2: don't want to do, right. You have to do things

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Speaker 2: that make you on comfortable. You can't just wake up

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Speaker 2: and go down this path of Lottie Da. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: do everything as I please in that moment of time.

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Speaker 2: That's gonna make you soft, that's gonna make you you

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Speaker 2: got all these things that come with that. In my opinion,

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Speaker 2: if you go out and put yourself in uncomfortable situations,

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Speaker 2: if you go out and work hard for what you want,

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Speaker 2: which isn't the most glorified way all the time. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's not fun to go work hard and put your

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Speaker 2: time and your effort into something, especially something you may

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Speaker 2: not really love truly deep down to your core. So

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Speaker 2: you know what I've learned in life is, you know,

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Speaker 2: make yourself uncomfortable, two things that you don't want to

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Speaker 2: do to help others, you know, be selfless, find a

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Speaker 2: way to give back more than just thinking about yourself.

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Speaker 2: And I'm sitting here today saying, at nineteen years old,

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Speaker 2: I was only about self. You know, that first year

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Speaker 2: as my heisman year, there was a lot less of that.

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Speaker 2: I have my camaraderie with the team, and I was

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Speaker 2: a leader. I was there for my dogs. And then

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Speaker 2: as that shifts, I became a bad teammate. I became

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Speaker 2: a bad role model. I became a bad example for

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Speaker 2: what a Texas A and M University football player should

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Speaker 2: be and an ambassador for my school at that point

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Speaker 2: in time. And I still to this day hold a

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Speaker 2: lot of shame about things that I did from nineteen

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Speaker 2: to twenty seven, twenty eight years old, shame shannon to

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Speaker 2: where I couldn't sleep at night, to where I went

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Speaker 2: into the LA and the Hollywood Hills and I hid

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Speaker 2: hid from everybody except the TMZ cameras in the middle

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Speaker 2: of the night. And that for me is taking a

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Speaker 2: decade to come to terms what happened in my life

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Speaker 2: and what I did to myself, because at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, I don't have anybody to blame but myself.

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Speaker 2: My mom and dad didn't raise me to be that

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Speaker 2: and I coached someone to coach Kingsbury or any of

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Speaker 2: those guys at Texas A and M didn't raise me

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Speaker 2: to be that way. My teammate sure as hell didn't

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Speaker 2: push me down that path of being there, So why

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Speaker 2: did it happen. You know, those are the question. Shouldn't

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Speaker 2: have taken me a decade to find out what makes

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Speaker 2: me who I am and coming to terms and accepting

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Speaker 2: who I am the good? Okay, great, that's awesome, that's

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Speaker 2: unequivocally me the bad. Okay, Let's find out and identify

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Speaker 2: what that is and be better bit by bit, day

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Speaker 2: by day to ensure that what happened in the past

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Speaker 2: it ain't gonna happen again moving forward.

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Speaker 1: If Johnny Football persona had never been created, do you

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Speaker 1: still go down that path?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I do without a doubt, from that day in Kerrville,

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Speaker 2: you know, from getting to there and being that guy

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Speaker 2: and like getting a rise out of it and getting

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Speaker 2: notoriety and people coming around you. It's fame is a

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Speaker 2: it's a drug. It's addicted. Oh, it's a high. It's

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Speaker 2: just chase the dragon of fame. Man, you chase the

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Speaker 2: dragon a clout and it is very, very addictive. And

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Speaker 2: it is a problem that I dealt with in my life.

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Speaker 2: And if you were to ask me in twenty fourteen

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Speaker 2: or fifteen, I'd have been like, nah, because for a

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Speaker 2: long time I didn't see myself as the true level

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Speaker 2: of fame of what I really was.

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Speaker 1: Who damned you out for those autograph signing? Somebody damned

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Speaker 1: you outs.

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Speaker 2: They got stuck with a lot of merch, a lot

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Speaker 2: of stuff that they couldn't sell. And then from there

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Speaker 2: they got stuck with maybe like twenty thousand dollars worth

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Speaker 2: of product, and the compliance department was cracking down on

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Speaker 2: indie autographs to run eBay and this and that, so

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Speaker 2: they lost their avenue of how to get rid of

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Speaker 2: their product right, and they got stuck. And the guy

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Speaker 2: went to the University of Texas was in Houston. He

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Speaker 2: blew the whistle, and then it all started to crumble down.

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Speaker 2: And it happened quick.

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Speaker 1: If you'd have had somebody behind the scenes working because

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Speaker 1: Texas say, and them is those boosters. They want what

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Speaker 1: you gave them. You gave them a Heisman trophy, You

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Speaker 1: almost led them to a national a national championship. If

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Speaker 1: you'd have had somebody working behind the scenes, he says, look,

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Speaker 1: let's keep this kid happy. This is all it's going

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Speaker 1: to take. Because you mentioned your dad, you said told

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Speaker 1: Kevin something. You didn't know anything about this. For three

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Speaker 1: mil that's a drop of the bucket. Considering that you

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Speaker 1: could have made ten. So I would say, like, for

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Speaker 1: five million, he'll stay, won't ever say a word about this,

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Speaker 1: And you say, Kevin, someone looked like, bro, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: keep this train rolling Without Johnny.

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Speaker 2: I needed Cliff. I needed Kingsbury for that situation to

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Speaker 2: go in a perfect way.

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Speaker 1: So you need a Cliff to be your offensive coordinator.

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Speaker 1: Because he left, I needed Cliff to be my offensive coordinator.

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Speaker 1: And I needed a Cliff to be that role model

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Speaker 1: in my life. And when I got to out of

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Speaker 1: whack because that first year, my freshman red shirt, my

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Speaker 1: Heisman year, I was skirting the line. But every time

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Speaker 1: I started to get here, he would pull you back,

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Speaker 1: every time focus and I looked him from that day

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Speaker 1: he came on the high school field to come look

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Speaker 1: at me and tell me he couldn't offer me. I

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Speaker 1: had a trust with him and a bond with him

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Speaker 1: and I still have to this day. And when he left,

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Speaker 1: the fuck sucked.

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Speaker 2: I'm looking at this.

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Speaker 1: They said they sold forty five million, number two Texas

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Speaker 1: A and m Adidas.

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Speaker 2: Church maybe forty five million in revenue, forty five million,

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Speaker 2: a lot of jerseys Texas well, okay forty five and

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Speaker 2: so if Dady gave you.

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Speaker 1: Say here, Johnny, were gonna get you five percent. I'll

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Speaker 1: take ten, damn, Johnny. Five percent is mouch better than

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Speaker 1: what you get.

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Speaker 2: You're right, You're right, You're right. Okay, five five.

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Speaker 1: But when you see when you see Texas ad them

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Speaker 1: making forty five million in Jersey sales and Johnny Manziel's

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Speaker 1: getting seven seven hundred dollars in a stipend, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: say it right with you?

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Speaker 2: Does It didn't.

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Speaker 1: So you start concocting the way how you can get

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Speaker 1: you how you can get some of that pie.

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Speaker 2: Exactly. I got my pie. But you knew, you knew

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Speaker 2: that it was wrong.

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Speaker 1: You knew that you could get yourself in trouble and

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Speaker 1: potentially the university.

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Speaker 2: But at that point in time, what, Yes, I knew

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Speaker 2: that it was against the rules. I know that I'm

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Speaker 2: putting myself in a position that may not work out

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Speaker 2: well for me or my university. But at that time,

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Speaker 2: once again going back to selfish Johnny Manziel, I'm thinking

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Speaker 2: about how to get that. I'm trying how I get

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Speaker 2: that stipend bumped up type of like I'm thinking about

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Speaker 2: the money at this point, Like I don't expect myself,

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Speaker 2: even after winning the Heisman Trophy to be able to

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Speaker 2: go get drafted. I didn't know if that was a

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Speaker 2: sure thing to go to the NFL draft or be

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Speaker 2: able to make any money. So I know what I

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Speaker 2: needed then I needed more money. And you know with

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Speaker 2: that money that I got as well, you know, I

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Speaker 2: took care of my dogs in the locker room. You know,

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Speaker 2: in a big college locker room, there's dudes in there

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Speaker 2: that sending half their stipend or all their stiping back

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Speaker 2: home and they're taking six to go boxes out of

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Speaker 2: the athletic facility going to the apartment and there's no

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Speaker 2: lights on, you see, And this is what I see.

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Speaker 2: People come from all different walks of life that walk

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Speaker 2: into these locker rooms. Ye don't come from Kerrville, Texas,

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Speaker 2: from the suburbs all the time. Yeah, they come from

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Speaker 2: the trenches. Yes. And I bond with people that come

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Speaker 2: from nothing. Me and Mike Evans like this. He's from Galveston, Texas,

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Speaker 2: born on the island. It is no joke down there.

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Speaker 2: Where he's from is a different way of life. And

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Speaker 2: like I've seen because of the sport that I played,

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Speaker 2: how all these people come in from different walks of life,

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Speaker 2: and it's not as peachy as you think it may be.

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Speaker 2: It's not all rainbows and butterflies out there for some

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Speaker 2: of these kids that come in and it's tough. And

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Speaker 2: I took care of my dogs. All this money didn't

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Speaker 2: just go to me. A lot of it did. But

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Speaker 2: if my boys needed something, they got it. And if

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Speaker 2: I wasn't there at that club, at that tab at

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Speaker 2: the club was picked up. Always did your parents know

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Speaker 2: you was getting this money? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, cause you breaking them off too?

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Speaker 2: How you lay break mommy and dad? Though? Mom and

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Speaker 2: dad are doing fine. Mom and dad are living at

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Speaker 2: the biggest golf course in town. Dad's got his best

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Speaker 2: job he's ever had. What you want? Did you hit

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Speaker 2: him get the job? No? My Dad's independent on his

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Speaker 2: own to be able to go do that. I'm sure

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Speaker 2: my name and what was going on, of course, might

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Speaker 2: have helped it, but you know, I was finding out

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Speaker 2: and it was like hard to just be like, what

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Speaker 2: do you do with this cash? You know what I can't? Well,

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Speaker 2: you got you a book a flight? How are you

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Speaker 2: gonna go somewhere?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: What do you do with caw? Do you check into

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Speaker 2: a hotel? How you do this? So it was like,

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Speaker 2: you have any credit cards? You ain't get no credit card, Johnny.

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Speaker 2: I ain't know nothing out of credit card until I

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Speaker 2: got to Cleveland, Ohio. I know nothing. I would go

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Speaker 2: buy American Express gift cards for a thousand bucks in

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Speaker 2: cash and then have that, and then I got to

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Speaker 2: keep track of how much is on every balance and

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Speaker 2: stuff I'm going through AMEX gift cards like this going

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Speaker 2: out of style. So I didn't know anything about a

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Speaker 2: credit card. I didn't know anything about credit let's all.

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Speaker 2: Reggie Reggie Bush similar situation.

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Speaker 1: I guess his parents took some money over there living

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Speaker 1: in a house, and he ended up having his Heisman

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Speaker 1: trophy taken from me.

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Speaker 2: Do you believe Reggie should get a higemotrophy back? Without

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Speaker 2: a doubt? It's legal now. What Reggie did then is

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Speaker 2: legal now that somebody could do it wouldn't make him

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Speaker 2: ineligible now, even though it did at the time, and

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Speaker 2: in the grand scheme of things, I probably did way

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Speaker 2: worse than Reggie. And everybody's gonna sit here and be like,

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Speaker 2: why does he still have his heis member? Reggie doesn't.

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Speaker 2: I can tell you the exact reason why I explained

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Speaker 2: this on Twitter, and people didn't really understand it. But

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Speaker 2: the way I was told because the last three four

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Speaker 2: years I've been walking back into the Heisman, I've been

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Speaker 2: rallying the boy, talking with the guys. There's chatter, there's

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Speaker 2: chirp going around that nobody in this crew and this

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Speaker 2: Heisman fraternity, it sits right with us that Reggie ain't

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Speaker 2: up there with us every year. It makes every one

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Speaker 2: of us sitting there choice myth, all these guys that

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Speaker 2: I sit next to on he deserves to be on

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Speaker 2: that stage with us every year, unequivocally, without a doubt,

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Speaker 2: without a question, one of the best college football players

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Speaker 2: to ever lace them up, and a very very good

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Speaker 2: argument see to be the best ever in college football.

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Speaker 2: Do you believe he'll get his trophy back? What I've

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Speaker 2: been told is that Reggie can't get his Heisman trophy

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Speaker 2: back until the NCAA makes his records and his accolades

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Speaker 2: on the field for that year reinstated. As we know

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Speaker 2: what the NCAAA is now, what do you think the

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Speaker 2: chances are that they're going to do the right thing?

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Speaker 2: Not looking likely? Not looking likely, And it's sad and

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Speaker 2: from the top down from the NCAA. They've been so

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Speaker 2: wrong with so many things that you would hope that

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Speaker 2: one day they would do the right thing and do this.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to continue to do everything that I can

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Speaker 2: in my power. That may be. I'm just the little guy.

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Speaker 2: I'm just the old first freshman to win a I

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Speaker 2: don't have no I ain't got the clout like I

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Speaker 2: used to to be able to really make that happen.

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Speaker 2: But for what I can in my part, I will

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Speaker 2: always stand on this table right here for Reggie Bush

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Speaker 2: and do anything that I can in my power to

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Speaker 2: make sure that it's possible for him to even get

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Speaker 2: his trophy back.

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Speaker 1: What's your best guess as to why coach Slaven walked

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Speaker 1: away from the game, still coaching at the highest level.

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Speaker 2: I think the NIL has changed everything for what he's known,

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Speaker 2: you know. I think it's made it so much more

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Speaker 2: hands on and continually having to stay on these guys

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Speaker 2: because of how many people are in their ear. It's

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Speaker 2: not it's not the firm handshake anymore. It's not the

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Speaker 2: old school ways in the world where your word is

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Speaker 2: your bond and this and that is a very wishy

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Speaker 2: washy where's the money today? Right, and if it's today,

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Speaker 2: somebody who can now bid you where's your loyalty? Just

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Speaker 2: sixteen seventeen year old kids were talking about here, right.

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Speaker 2: So in my opinion, Saban doesn't want to deal with

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Speaker 2: it anymore, and what better way than to go out

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Speaker 2: the way that he did. You know, from what I've

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Speaker 2: seen and what I saw in the media, he's still

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Speaker 2: very involved in the program. I mean, he retires and

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Speaker 2: then goes back into the office. It worked the next day.

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Speaker 2: So Nick Saban is it. He's him. He is exactly

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Speaker 2: what you expect him to be. And when I met him,

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Speaker 2: you know, in New York that second year of twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 2: when I went back, I remember him walking into the room.

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Speaker 2: Aj mccerrn was a finalist, I think, and I don't think.

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Speaker 2: I think Aj was a finalist and he walks into

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Speaker 2: the room and it's just like I remember it, like

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Speaker 2: this cloud, huge aura of a person walking in. You know,

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Speaker 2: he's not that big, but like the way he carries

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Speaker 2: himself and the aura that he has around him is

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Speaker 2: like nobody you're ever going to come in contact with.

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Speaker 2: And I remember him walking into the room and shaking

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Speaker 2: his hand and talking to him for a second, and

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Speaker 2: then that conversation kind of fades and we go on

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Speaker 2: about them, and for the rest of my life, I'll

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Speaker 2: never forget that moment and him walking in that.

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Speaker 1: Guy, is it a situation now with the nil no

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Speaker 1: matter how great a coach is. You see in basketball,

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Speaker 1: coach k walks away, Roy Williams walks away.

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Speaker 2: Some of the pantheon greats.

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Speaker 1: It's like, so, now it's really a level playing field

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Speaker 1: because Alabama is like, Okay, we're gonna put you in

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Speaker 1: the NFL. But now somebody say, well, they gonna put

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Speaker 1: you in the NFL, but we're gonna give you two

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Speaker 1: million dollars. So now it has it leveled a playing

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Speaker 1: field or has it created an unequal playing field?

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Speaker 2: There was already an unequal playing field. I feel like, so,

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Speaker 2: if anything, it's given the littler guys a chance. It

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Speaker 2: gives the Colorado's right, Yeah, get a guy like Prime,

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Speaker 2: take your program from here to here. You're getting a

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Speaker 2: little bit more level. You're at the transferred portal. You know,

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Speaker 2: Colorado can now take people from Alabama or Georgia that

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Speaker 2: don't want to go there, just based off the transfer portal.

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Speaker 2: So I think it's brought it up and made a

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Speaker 2: little even. You know, college football goes in those waves

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Speaker 2: of like you got your Florida Dynasty, you got your

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Speaker 2: USC one, you have Texas with a little run in there.

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Speaker 2: You know, you got your oh House today, you got

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Speaker 2: your Bama's, Bama Georgia, you have your runs. Like I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to go on this whole SEC tangent be

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Speaker 2: all biased. It is what it is. So, I mean,

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Speaker 2: there has always been teams every year throughout the year

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Speaker 2: that are a little bit above and below the others.

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Speaker 2: You can always have the little guy that comes up

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Speaker 2: and has that magical run. But for the most part,

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Speaker 2: you know, it is a little lopsided. It is hard

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Speaker 2: for those Acrons or Bowling. It is harder for those

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Speaker 2: D one lower schools to ever really get in the conversation.

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Speaker 2: And in my opinion, I think this is a better

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Speaker 2: way or only way that they can really ever even

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Speaker 2: recruit on the same level as anybody else. And that'll

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Speaker 2: mostly be through the transfer portal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but do you see these teams now, you see it,

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Speaker 1: probably Alabama and Ohio State and Michigan and all these teams.

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Speaker 1: They're like they're probably going to their boostools or they

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Speaker 1: going to their college. And look, man, we gotta have

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Speaker 1: a fund. We got to have twenty five thirty million

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Speaker 1: dollars in order to get these kids. And now you

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Speaker 1: see look and talking to coach Prime is like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you see guys going into the portal, because these guys

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Speaker 1: have already been in college and so you kind of know, okay,

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Speaker 1: they understand the college. They got to go to class,

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Speaker 1: they got to go to study hall. They've already played

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Speaker 1: college ball and played at a high level. So it's

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Speaker 1: a little easier for you to break a guy that's

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Speaker 1: coming that's in the portal because you know, look at Addison,

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Speaker 1: he wins the BULLETNA call.

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Speaker 2: Any changing school. That's unheard of.

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Speaker 1: You would have never got a guy that wins the

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Speaker 1: buckets or win an award. Do you a ward like that,

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Speaker 1: the girls skill or whatever the case may be, the

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Speaker 1: Thorpe and transfer school.

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Speaker 2: Johnny, what if I told you that after Cliff Kingsbury

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Speaker 2: left and I won the Heisman, that I thought about

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Speaker 2: maybe going somewhere else too.

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Speaker 1: How much it was it gonna take for them to

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Speaker 1: break you off, for you to even get for you

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Speaker 1: to even consider it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know at that point in time, you know,

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Speaker 2: I was thinking about like, you know, I loved A

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Speaker 2: and M and I, but this way that like could

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Speaker 2: you feel the shift? Could I feel the shift? I

399
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Speaker 2: don't know. I could see that I was getting used

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Speaker 2: a little bit into what they needed me to do

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Speaker 2: to have their master playing right. A and M had

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Speaker 2: their vision of what they needed with this hype and

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Speaker 2: the success to get the program as a whole where

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Speaker 2: they needed to be. Unfortunately, where they needed to go

405
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Speaker 2: and where I needed to go and grow as a

406
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Speaker 2: human being and as a football player weren't always step

407
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Speaker 2: in step. They weren't always aligned. Do I have hard

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Speaker 2: feelings about it or do I feel any kind of

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Speaker 2: way about it right now? Absolutely not. I love my school.

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Speaker 2: I love what happened. I love walking back into that

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Speaker 2: stadium and feeling like I had a piece of putting

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Speaker 2: one of these bricks in the walls outside and I

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Speaker 2: can carry myself and say that loves. I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's the House of Johnny, but that's what they call it.

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Speaker 2: They can call it what they want it like that,

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Speaker 2: Like it's disrespectful to Mike, that's disrespectful to Jake Matthews.

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Speaker 1: Well, Mike Evins. They didn't call Mike Evans the Mike football.

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Speaker 1: They call you Johnny football. They didn't call Jake Matthew

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Speaker 1: the Luke Joko. Okay, so I get football.

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Speaker 2: I get the praise for what we do as a

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Speaker 2: team because my players special on the field.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question. When you're a little kid,

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Speaker 1: they're like, all right, who want to play online? Raise

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Speaker 1: your hand? Who want to play dB?

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Speaker 2: Raise your hand? Who want to play quarterback? Exactly? They

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Speaker 2: chose the position that So it's a positional things you're

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Speaker 2: giving the quarterback there. Yeah, it's a rightful piece of

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Speaker 2: the pie. Which one of those guys were flying private?

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Speaker 2: Probably just okay? Who is playing jewelry cards? Probably just me? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Well, who was hanging with Drake and James Flinton courtse

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Speaker 1: Oude of James Harden.

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Speaker 2: That's definitely just Yes, you're the half of Johnny Bill. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So you put it that way. I mean, you ain't

434
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 2: never gonna get me to a med too.

435
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 1: But help me understand this, John, I'm trying to figure

436
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 1: out how you get suspended for half a game. I

437
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: mean that, like I almost suspend you from school, but

438
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 1: you don't have to come to first, second to third,

439
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 1: but you getting cold fourth, fifth, and sixth.

440
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 2: You know what I asked. I asked if I could

441
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 2: be suspended for the second half because we'd be up

442
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 2: so much in the first half, right, They said no.

443
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 1: I mean, so, what was it like knowing that you're

444
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 1: not gonna play the first half and then you got

445
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 1: to come in? I mean, you come in cold the

446
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 1: second half?

447
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: Nerve racking, really, really the height of any nerves that

448
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 2: I've ever had, other than that Bengals game that I

449
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 2: started my first game in the NFL. Crazy nervous so

450
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: much the first play that we drew up this beautiful

451
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 2: bunch formation with the outside motion coming in, and we

452
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,719
Speaker 2: knew we were gonna get him in the trail, and

453
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 2: we knew it split. We knew we'd do the scissor

454
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 2: off in quarters. He's gonna take that corner for sure,

455
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: and we're gonna bust right down the middle. I catch

456
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 2: the ball, take three steps and I'm seeing red at

457
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 2: this point. I dropped back and the line opens up,

458
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 2: and I just see this one linebacker and I'm just

459
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 2: looking at him down in the eyes and like I'm

460
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 2: not even seeing nothing back here, right me? Man you

461
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: come on. And that was how I started my games

462
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 2: in college, and we started with so many running plays

463
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 2: because when I got hit the first time and I

464
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 2: got a pop, it settled me down to the point

465
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 2: of where I could go on about our offensive scheme

466
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 2: for the first day. So going into that game, you know,

467
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 2: suspending the first half, coming back out the first play

468
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 2: of the second half, we draw up this beautiful touchdown

469
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: and it works. But I'm just like so laser focused

470
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 2: and locked in on getting hit so I can kind

471
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 2: of settle down and go and you know, that half

472
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 2: went fine. I don't think we played very good football

473
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 2: because it's hard to get that you know, flow going

474
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 2: when you're not playing in the first half and come

475
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 2: in in the second. But really, really the almost the

476
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 2: pinnacle of my nerves of college football in that setting.

477
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: But Johnny, you kept sign you kept signing autographs, you

478
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 1: kept partying. Did you feel those things helped you? I mean,

479
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 1: did you feel that you could that you and you

480
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: played better while doing those things.

481
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 2: That's a great question. That's a really good question, because

482
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 2: at that point in time in my life, I felt

483
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 2: like the harder I partied, the better that I played.

484
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 2: How my freshman year, Tuesdays and Thursdays were Tuesdays were

485
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: beer with the baseball boys the house playing games, and

486
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 2: Thursdays we're hitting North Kate, going to the town drunk

487
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 2: as you could get with all the dogs. Friday was

488
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: the walkthrough. I go there, we walk through at ten

489
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 2: am in the morning, dying. It's been like a looker Steve,

490
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 2: like a liquor store. And then I would go through

491
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 2: that walk through and you can ask anybody that was

492
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 2: on that team and I hit those walk through. Its

493
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 2: hard handing the fake. I'm taking off down the sideline

494
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,679
Speaker 2: for twenty thirty yards running back, I'm sweating down. You

495
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 2: try out, Oh yeah. Then we get on the plane,

496
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 2: right get to the hotel meetings. This is the system,

497
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 2: and we're winning right now. We're eleven and two. We'd

498
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: beat Bama. And this whole year is Tuesday, Thursday, bang

499
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 2: bang all week every time, like clockwork, every game of

500
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 2: the season that year. And I'm getting better as it

501
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 2: goes on. I ain't losing a step until that first

502
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 2: offseason in twenty thirteen. That's when I'm starting to smoke

503
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 2: more weed. That's when I'm partying a lot more. And

504
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 2: then from there, I'm not taking care of myself in

505
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 2: the way that I did the year before to go

506
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 2: be special and my number is my second year. Totally,

507
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: We're better. We're better. That's what I needed to do

508
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 2: at that point in time. I needed to get you,

509
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 2: guys or whoever it was on first take or this

510
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: and that talking in the right direction, that this is

511
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,479
Speaker 2: these are my you know, this guy went back and

512
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 2: did better than he did the year before. So therefore,

513
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 2: what is the next step. The next step is the league,

514
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 2: the show, the big thing. And that's where I was

515
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 2: at in my life. I felt like I did enough

516
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,959
Speaker 2: for me. Okay, I was living my life at that

517
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: point in time to appease what other people expected for

518
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 2: me or wanted from me. I wasn't living really in

519
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: the right way. I mean obviously I wasn't, but like

520
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 2: I was there to like tell people what they wanted

521
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 2: to hear, and like had these people around me. This

522
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: is how you need to carry yourself. And in that

523
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 2: I lost who I was. And when you lose who

524
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 2: you are, you resort to other things in your life

525
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 2: to numb that pain or to find yourself. And in

526
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 2: that I found smoking weed. In that, I found partying,

527
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 2: and that kind of took over from there. Twenty thirteen

528
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 2: on you know, there's no reason, There's no reason other

529
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 2: than exactly what my behavior was. Twenty thirteen on why

530
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 2: twenty fourteen and fifteen in Cleveland didn't work out. There's

531
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 2: no secret that I was doing the same thing on

532
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 2: a Thursday night in Cleveland that I had been doing

533
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 2: for the Thursday night in College Station number one. Because

534
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 2: I'm the backup. I just got handed all this money

535
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 2: and I'm not taking it seriously enough because I don't

536
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 2: know how to be a profession idea. Now I get

537
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 2: thrown into this organization with the head coach that wants

538
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 2: nothing to do with me from the day that I

539
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,120
Speaker 2: get there, with the defensive staff that our first day

540
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 2: of offensive install, day one, they're running six DB's on

541
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 2: the field in practice. I can't even point a fucking mike.

542
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 2: I ain't never taking a snap under center, But Jimmy

543
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 2: O'Neill or whatever and Mike Petton are going to come

544
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 2: out to the field and throw fucking eight dbs on

545
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 2: the field the first day of an install. Talk about

546
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 2: your confidence getting busted quick. Now I feel like I

547
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 2: can't do what I was great at in Cleveland, and

548
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 2: I'm partying and doing what I thought made me great.

549
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 2: So you see how all these things are compounding together

550
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 2: to equal a huge disaster. You didn't feel you could

551
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 2: do in Cleveland what you had been great at Texas Lee,

552
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 2: not at all. I don't know for no confidence.

553
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: I hear you mentioned you said on Tuesday night we

554
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: had this with the boat the baseball team. Thursday night,

555
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: we did this with the other boys. I ain't here

556
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: nothing by no school.

557
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 2: I was a good student. How I what my dad

558
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 2: when I was in high school, in middle school growing up,

559
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 2: if I didn't have a's or b's in my report

560
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 2: card and that first little six week grade in period

561
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 2: comes out of the three week mark, if I got

562
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 2: to C on on that thing, I'm grounded until I

563
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 2: can get an A and B on that next report card.

564
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 2: That was my rules forever. So if I got to

565
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 2: see you're grounded, you ain't going nowhere, You're doing chores

566
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 2: around the house. I'm gonna show you what your education

567
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 2: is going to mean to you. So when I got

568
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 2: to A and M, I went from a business major

569
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: sports management. And then when I went to Heisman, I

570
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 2: go to ag leadership and development. That's a little bit

571
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 2: different than the Maze Business School. Yeah yeah, yeah, So

572
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 2: now I can do my classes online. I can do

573
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: that like that was. The school was never the problem

574
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 2: for me. If I applied myself in the slightest bid,

575
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 2: I was smart enough to be able to go in

576
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 2: and do college. I wasn't ever. I wasn't one of

577
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 2: those guys that needed to study hall or the this

578
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 2: and that. And I had a lady that was in

579
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: our athletic department named Lee Hood, and Miss Hood saved

580
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 2: my life academically, just keeping me focused on what it

581
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 2: was and not getting too far. And she was like

582
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 2: a true mother to me in that football program. And

583
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: she is the reason that I was able to even

584
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 2: leave Texas A and them and have an opportunity to

585
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 2: go to the NFL.

586
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 1: And the thing is, Johnny, though, what I've learned is

587
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: that most good athletes, great athletes, can compartmentalize. And it

588
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: seems like you really great at compartmentalizing. Okay, party, I'm

589
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: a party, get school, get school, party, party, got practice, practice,

590
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: play play. You were able to do in each instance

591
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 1: be at your absolute best or as you say it

592
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: on Thursday to Friday at your absolute worst.

593
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: Yep, I think I was able to do that with

594
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: the people that I had around me, you know, with

595
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 2: the lee Hood, with these coaches, and like with the

596
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 2: right people that Texas Ay and them did have around right.

597
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 2: If they weren't there, wouldn't had a fighting chance at all.

598
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 2: But because of how special some of the people were

599
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 2: in that building, it gave me an opportunity to flourish

600
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 2: in the smallest of amounts. When it comes to that stuff.

601
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 1: I'm looking at I read this, it's like the rumor

602
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: was you came from oil money?

603
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 2: Did you have all money? My great grandpa when they

604
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 2: came over, took from Lebanon. They founded found you know,

605
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: oil in East Texas, and it very much was you know,

606
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 2: my family was very, very big, so my grandpa, he

607
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: had like six brothers and sisters. They hit this huge

608
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 2: oil well. So when I'm growing up, I don't even

609
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 2: realize that we have a farm and tyler with a

610
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: runway and a hanger in the back and all this stuff.

611
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 2: I didn't even really know what it was. My grandpa.

612
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: Because of what my great grandpa had done, they had

613
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 2: the opportunity to be boys boys, right, take the planes.

614
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: They were big in the box scene, so like Jack

615
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 2: Dempsey was a huge like family friend of theirs. You know,

616
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: they tell me stories about going on these hunts with

617
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 2: Mickey Mannle and Joe DiMaggio and all these guys, and

618
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 2: I've seen the pictures, like it's as raal as it gets.

619
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 2: So you have this, like what you saw for me

620
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 2: and the lifestyle that I was living, I think was

621
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 2: like minor ly ingrained in me for what I saw

622
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: as a kid and what they were doing in the fifties, sixties, seventies.

623
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 1: So it wasn't a far reach for you to like

624
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: to have what you have because your family did have money.

625
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: So it wasn't a stretch for you to be flying

626
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: private and doing all that stuff because your family came

627
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: from money, so you could pass it off. My dad

628
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: gave me this, So my family gave me this, And

629
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: so the incident, wouldn't he battom eye, How could they

630
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 1: prove it? They couldn't because you had I just call them.

631
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: Your dad says what in twenty thirteen it said, it's

632
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: not garth books money, but it's a lot of money.

633
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: And I don't even know the full detail of it, right,

634
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 2: Like I got, you know, from eighteen years old, I'm

635
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,479
Speaker 2: thrust onto the spotlight. Now I have my own life then,

636
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 2: like I'm living that's like separate from that. Like family stuff,

637
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 2: it's not as cohesive anymore. Right. The fame and everything

638
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 2: that comes with with what happened to me will break

639
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 2: a family apart very very quick. Who we go into

640
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: the game with, who gets these tickets? It's all about

641
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 2: the clout on all this stuff. So we as a

642
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: family were tested and tried throughout this rise as well.

643
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: It wasn't just a me thing. And that's what I

644
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 2: didn't realize until I got cut in Cleveland and I

645
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 2: was a couple of years removed from that, and I

646
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 2: remember thinking and hearing from my mom, like, you don't

647
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 2: know how hard it is for us to walk into

648
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 2: a restaurant in East Texas. We're dealing with the ramifications

649
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: of your actions that are going on every day. So

650
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 2: when you're going out here acting like an asshole, I

651
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 2: got to walk into my grocery store and get treated

652
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 2: like one. And why is that? Fared of your father?

653
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: And I hit me like a ton of bricks?

654
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: Is that where the change came? Because because you saw

655
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: the toll. Not only would it, I mean, I don't know,

656
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: maybe you're the last person to see the toll that

657
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: it's taken on you, But when you hear your mom

658
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: tell you, the tell the told that it's taken on

659
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: them because of your actions, and they shouldn't have to

660
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: suffer for what you're doing to yourself.

661
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 2: It's a start. That was the start of it. It

662
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 2: definitely wasn't definitely wasn't the like final thing that got

663
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: me to the point of what I'm being able to

664
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 2: do and sit here with you today. I think that's

665
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 2: a complete understanding and self awareness of oneself. Okay, so I,

666
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 2: without a doubt, wholeheartedly know myself and what I've done good,

667
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 2: what I've done bad. I'm the only one that knows

668
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 2: the truth that I've seen through my eyes about everything.

669
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: So when I got to the point where I'm completely

670
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: detailed and honest about every situation and what went into it,

671
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 2: why I may have done that, that's a continuous like

672
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 2: evolution of a person that takes longer than five years,

673
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,280
Speaker 2: you know. And I don't think I'm a finished product

674
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 2: right now. I just think I'm onto something mentally that

675
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 2: is clicking with me. Allowing me to be the person

676
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: I think I should have been. Is this all you of?

677
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 2: Was therapy involved a lot of self therapy? I mean

678
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: a lot of times, and I mean twenty fourteen, after

679
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 2: my first season, I went and spent three months in

680
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: rehabing reading Pennsylvania, and I didn't have a normal offseason.

681
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: I didn't get to like I needed to work on

682
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 2: myself and at this time, like I learned a lot

683
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: through that, and it continuously learned as I went on.

684
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: And this is a you know, collection of ten years

685
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 2: of not therapy every day, not therapy every week, but

686
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 2: a lot of Is it with yourself? You have to

687
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: know who you are. You know who you are, you

688
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 2: know what you do good, you know what you do bad.

689
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 2: You know what you need your team for over here

690
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 2: to help you with to make you the best version

691
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 2: of yourself. And for a long time, I've been independent

692
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: in the sense that I feel like I can do

693
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 2: it all by myself, when in reality I need family,

694
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 2: I need friends. I need my team of people who

695
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: want nothing from me, who want nothing but the best

696
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: in love for me, and people that I can trust

697
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: because a lot of time in the past I didn't

698
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 2: have people around me that I could trust, really genuinely

699
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 2: truly looking out for my best interests.

700
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 1: Johnny, you mentioned that you partied, you like to drink alcohol.

701
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 1: Was the heavier drugs involved other than alcohol in marijuana?

702
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, college? No, once you got to the league. Yes,

703
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 2: that's when the real like hiding and reclusing started. And man,

704
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 2: I've given Cleveland. I've given Cleveland a really really hard time.

705
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 2: And I think it's all more situation than it is

706
00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 2: really the city itself. Being in a fish bowl city

707
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 2: like college station ate me up because I couldn't move,

708
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 2: I couldn't park my car the wrong way, I couldn't

709
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 2: do anything. I was always spotlight. And then I go

710
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,919
Speaker 2: to Cleveland, I signed with Lebron and math and then

711
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 2: and now Lebron comes back and I'm under Lebron's wing.

712
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 2: So now this lamp heat, lamp's even hotter on me.

713
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: I'm not playing, I don't got confidence on the field,

714
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 2: and now I'm taking out my anger on my day

715
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 2: to day like interaction my team. I'm struggling but not

716
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 2: letting anybody know. Right. So, like my whole like right

717
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 2: with Cleveland is not really anything as what I made

718
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 2: it to be. And I think that's just the bitterness

719
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 2: of like how things went and me not realizing that

720
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 2: I did it to myself for a long point in time.

721
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,760
Speaker 2: Do you remember the first time you tried hard drugs?

722
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah for sure.

723
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 1: What was it about it that made you try it?

724
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 1: Did you think because I'm Johnny Football, I can handle this.

725
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 1: I can do something that no one else has been

726
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: able to do, do a hard drug and be able

727
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: to steal function and do everything I need to do

728
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 1: even though I tried this.

729
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: Okay, that persona that I had on the football field

730
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 2: of being able to have that confidence translated over into

731
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 2: the party scene as well. I'm the guy just like

732
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 2: I am on the field, in the club, in the streets.

733
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 2: So it's all in front of you if you want it,

734
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,879
Speaker 2: and you're hanging around the wrong circles. It ain't hard

735
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,800
Speaker 2: to find at all. So, you know, you get around

736
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 2: people who you think you look up to or this

737
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 2: or that, and then it just goes. And then it

738
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 2: kind of goes and it's snowballs and it keeps getting worse,

739
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 2: and you go from cocaine to oxy cotton to percocets

740
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 2: to a mushrooms. I mean, I look at the mushrooms

741
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 2: as a different thing. Now that's not a good thing

742
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 2: to say, but like the harder drugs, the drugs that

743
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: like tear you down. I never did anything with needles,

744
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 2: never did anything like that. But the coke and the

745
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: OxyS and the percocet were very, very tumultuous in my

746
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 2: life and like pop their head, especially the days of

747
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 2: wandering around the Hollywood Hills. And it makes sense why

748
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 2: you see me so sporadic and like I was two

749
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 2: hundred and ten pounds when I left Cleveland. I was

750
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 2: one hundred and seventy pounds sitting in Vegas that August,

751
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 2: that September, October, whatever it was later than that year.

752
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 2: How you lose forty pounds you're on a strict diet

753
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 2: A blow.

754
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: Oh, I was about to say, only you don't want

755
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: either one of them. I mean, you lose forty pounds

756
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 1: in that length of time, you on crack or it

757
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: z empic So that's the new THINGA toushe you right

758
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: about that?

759
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 2: Bro? You At that point in time, man, I would

760
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 2: look in the mirror and I didn't see myself any

761
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 2: different than when I was in Cleveland. Really until I

762
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: stepped on a scale at the Cosmopolitan Hotel in Las Vegas.

763
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 2: I didn't realize I lost forty pounds wow at all

764
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 2: And people were hitting me up like this, And I

765
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 2: remember these pictures came out and I was like, damn,

766
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 2: what am I doing? Whatever, We'll figure that out later.

767
00:38:59,000 --> 00:38:59,919
Speaker 2: Let's go again Google.

768
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, So as an athlete, you're very competitive when you

769
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 1: when you when you do drugs, do you still have

770
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: that competitive nature?

771
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: Like when you with your boys, do You're like, Man, iin't, Benn,

772
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 2: let you one up me? You can't. I'm a tank

773
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 2: when it comes to the party. I mean I could

774
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,879
Speaker 2: party hang with the best of them. Like I ain't

775
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 2: saying not to brag. It's not something to really say,

776
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 2: but it's the truth and glorify, but it's true. You

777
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,439
Speaker 2: put somebody in your that you think in your life

778
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 2: can really go that distance with the honey or with them,

779
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: with the drugs or whatever you want. I'm gonna go.

780
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go twelve rounds with you. I mean, Johnny,

781
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 2: you a small man, bro, I'm a little thick. I

782
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 2: guess so you Drake does a song draft day.

783
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 1: What was it like to hear Drake mention mention you

784
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: in a song, and what was it like hanging out

785
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: with Drake.

786
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,720
Speaker 2: He's the big, one of the biggest.

787
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 1: Slams in the world, and here of a college kid,

788
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: a young college kid, just hanging out with him.

789
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: I remember when I went to Toronto for the first time

790
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 2: and my mom called me and I could hear the

791
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 2: worry in her voice. Where are you Toronto, Canada? Do

792
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: you even have a passport? Yeah? I took it from

793
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: the safe last week when I came by the house. So, like,

794
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 2: my relationship with Drake is one that changed my life

795
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 2: for the better forever still to this day, you know,

796
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 2: a pillar of my life. And from the first day

797
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 2: I met him, the first day we talked, our relationship

798
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:37,919
Speaker 2: has been pretty constant and he rides for me as

799
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,359
Speaker 2: hard as anybody ever has in my life. And I'm

800
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,840
Speaker 2: thankful for him. I appreciate him, and you know, I

801
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,399
Speaker 2: try to let him know whenever I'm with him, how

802
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 2: much his relationship means to me, how much our friendship means,

803
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: And like it's the coolest thing in the world to me,

804
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 2: from that kid in Kerrville, Texas to be able to

805
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: sit there and walk out on the draft. Radio City music,

806
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 2: and there ain't no song playing that you like. It's

807
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 2: my song about the day that's happening now tells right.

808
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: But what do you think when people say, man, Drake

809
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: cursed you, because you know, there's this thing that say

810
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: that Drake has a curse that anybody is doing well,

811
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 1: if Drake all of a sudden likes them, they're gonna lose.

812
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,240
Speaker 2: I believes in curses like that. That guy's the most

813
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 2: positive energy, great aura. Maybe he picks wrong sometimes in

814
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 2: the people teams or whatever it is, or his bets,

815
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: but that's his life, right. There is no curse as

816
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 2: to each his own. You know, if I handle my

817
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 2: business in the proper way, I make him proud, right,

818
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 2: our relationship changes like so like that's there's a lot

819
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 2: of people that I let down. I truly feel like

820
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 2: him and Lebron at a point in time for people

821
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 2: that I really really let down.

822
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,720
Speaker 1: You mentioned that you that Lebron and MAV you signed

823
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: with Lebron and Math and there are people saying Johnny

824
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 1: Mann's will be bigger than Lebron James in Cleveland.

825
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 2: I think that person is Skip Bayless. He definitely believed

826
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: in you.

827
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: It does he believed in you and his thing to

828
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: his credit when he believes in a guy yourself, Tim Tebow.

829
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 2: Baker, Baker, Yeah, Skip, I love you, Bro. I hope

830
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 2: you know that I was always love and I honestly

831
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 2: feel like I let him down right. I remember watching

832
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 2: First Take religiously and being able to see him come

833
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 2: on there and ride for me when everything was going on.

834
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 2: Remember seeing the passion in his voice and the way

835
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 2: he was animated when he would talk about me. So

836
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 2: when I signed, I go to Cleveland and this you know,

837
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 2: Johnny Manziel will be bigger than Lebron, Like, Okay, you

838
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: got your clickbait, you got your headlines for that week

839
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 2: type of thing, and it was never ever going to

840
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 2: be a reality. But because of me signing with Lebron

841
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: and MAV, I had the opportunity to even be great

842
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 2: in my own right right. They gave me the best

843
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: fighting chance and built a team around me. And the

844
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 2: thing that I realize now is the reason why they're

845
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 2: probably still pissed at me to this day. They don't lose,

846
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 2: they don't bet on anything that's not a sure thing.

847
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,240
Speaker 2: And what I did and the way I carried myself

848
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 2: and the way that I was, and my time during

849
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 2: Cleveland was pure and blatant disrespect to them for giving

850
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 2: me everything that I could have ever needed to be successful.

851
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 2: So something that's still to this day. I think now

852
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: that we're talking about it, I haven't completely truly got

853
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 2: over yet. You know, how I let them down, and

854
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 2: I remember, this is how bad off I was whenever

855
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 2: I was in Cleveland. You know, Lebron would text me

856
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,439
Speaker 2: every week to come over to the house and watch

857
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 2: a game or play poker with the boys, and just

858
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 2: tried to be there. And I was so depressed for

859
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 2: the first time in my life that even my biggest

860
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: role model and inspiration in my life couldn't get me

861
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 2: out of bed. Had to come and hang out with them.

862
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 2: You know, when I went to the Cavs games, I went,

863
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 2: I was in, I was out. I didn't really grasp

864
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 2: and latch on to him in a way that I

865
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,399
Speaker 2: should have, and he tries to take me under his wing, right,

866
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,400
Speaker 2: and I'm just kind of nudging it away because of

867
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 2: where my mental is and being just fully depressed and

868
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 2: where I was in my life. Is that an excuse,

869
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, Because at the end of the day, the

870
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 2: respect that I should have for them. Giving me everything

871
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 2: should trump all else.

872
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 1: I say, you got a lot of ink, Do you

873
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: remember your first what made you? What do you remember

874
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: your first tattoo? And how were you when you got it?

875
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: And what made you?

876
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: Say? You know what? I won't eat all right? So

877
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 2: my mom as a kid, if you're get any tattoos

878
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 2: or I'm going to disown you. They went really hard

879
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,959
Speaker 2: down that route. And when I got to a little

880
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 2: bit higher place in life, I'm kind of like, let

881
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 2: me test and see if she's still gonna love me

882
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: after this. So I went that first semester and uh

883
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 2: college station. I went and got a tattoo, sat against

884
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: all odds on the inside of my arms, and I

885
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 2: got a Proverbs thing on my on my chest. John

886
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:12,720
Speaker 2: Bones Jones has this Philippians Part thirteen. I got Proverbs

887
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: three five through six. Trust, trust, not trusting the Lord

888
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,479
Speaker 2: with all your heart, and lean not on your own

889
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: understanding and all your ways, submit to him, and he

890
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 2: will make your paths straight. And I got that. And

891
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: I remember going to the lake house six months later

892
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 2: and my mom was like, why are you jumping in

893
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 2: the lake with your shirt on? Ah, it's nothing, it's nothing.

894
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 2: Finally take your shirt off, and I'm like, all right,

895
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 2: moment of truth. She took it pretty good for what

896
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 2: I expected to be honest, she kind of just went

897
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: back in the house, and like, now we're at the

898
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 2: point where my dad's starting to get some tattoos, and like, oh,

899
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 2: you influenced him. I think I had a little bit

900
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 2: of an input in that. Like I think I've had

901
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 2: an input in his mind shift, just to see that. Like,

902
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 2: you know, for if I can go through what I've

903
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 2: been through and still be sitting here today with the

904
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 2: attitude and the outlook on life that I have, and

905
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 2: I truly feel that anybody can. And my dad's had

906
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 2: his falls in life, my mom as well, and we

907
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 2: all do as human beings. But like it's about never

908
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 2: giving up, and it's about keep going. Is the mantra

909
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,399
Speaker 2: and mindset that I use. Keep going. You know, God

910
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 2: only gives the toughest test in life the people that

911
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 2: can truly handle soldiers soldiers. So like, yeah, a lot

912
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 2: of mind was self inflicted. But I feel to a

913
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 2: point today that I'm here for a better purpose, for

914
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 2: a bigger purpose. Maybe being a Hall of Fame NFL

915
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: football player was not what I was meant to be

916
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 2: in life, and I'm okay with that, right. I'm okay

917
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 2: with continuing to grow as a man and figure out

918
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 2: exactly what makes me tick, what my new passions are

919
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 2: in life, and what my new like goals are and

920
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 2: where I want to go.

921
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 1: Is it true that you were about to fake a

922
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: flunk a drug tests had to come by and your

923
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 1: dad faked the medical emergency.

924
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 2: I don't remember the medical emergency, but I remember having

925
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 2: the greatest training camp leading up to the NFL Combine,

926
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 2: and five six days before the combine, I drove from

927
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 2: San Diego to the Beverly Hills Hotel and I wanted

928
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 2: to go to Graystone, Manor and man West Hollywood. I

929
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 2: got with some NFL boys and I went to her

930
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 2: Mosta Beach and I got drunk, and then I went

931
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 2: to the club, and I remember, as this whole day

932
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 2: progressed on, I was a little too lit at the

933
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 2: club that night about one, and I remember, as I'm

934
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 2: kind of like in and out of it, somebody handed

935
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 2: me at blunt and me really being not all there

936
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 2: and composed, and I remember the blunt coming up right

937
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 2: in front of my face, and I remember my immediate

938
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 2: is like, but I couldn't tell my agent or anybody

939
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 2: the next day if I actually did smoke this or not.

940
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 2: So now it's like full crisis mode. We're taking tests

941
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 2: and we're doing this and like now the next six

942
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 2: days are like flush plus the system. You fail a

943
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 2: drug test, you go from being maybe the potential first

944
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: pick in the draft. So we'll see you in the

945
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: third round. And that's a five year deal turned to

946
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:16,240
Speaker 2: a four, turned to guarantee money and nothing like everything

947
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 2: is riding on this. So I did go into Indy

948
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 2: with a very very question mark on if I was

949
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 2: going to pass my drug test for smoking weed. And

950
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 2: so so you passed, I guess I didn't smoke it.

951
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 1: Wow Okay, so wow, Yeah, because concidered the way you've

952
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: been partying, Bro.

953
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 2: I just remember that that going to grab it. Yeah,

954
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 2: I remember that, and I remember, for some reason just

955
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 2: still locked in even if I was out of it.

956
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: When you're coming out, there was a comparison because of

957
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 1: your ability to duel, threat to run and throw the

958
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 1: football you got compared to a little bit of RG three,

959
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: a little bit of Russell Wilson.

960
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 2: Did you like those comparisons? I like the Brett fav

961
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 2: of comparisons the most, I think because Brett shit like

962
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 2: shaped the way of what I wanted to be as

963
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 2: a quarterback. You know, I didn't know at the time,

964
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 2: back then really until I got out of Cleveland, of

965
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: what Brett's story was in Atlanta, right, You know, I

966
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 2: had this Brett varb Atlanta Falcons jersey that I wore

967
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 2: religiously when I was in college station and I didn't

968
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 2: know that he was there, and like what happened and

969
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,240
Speaker 2: him getting too Green Bay and what a like huge

970
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 2: turning point and pivot it was for him in his life.

971
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 2: But that's you know, that's the one that I liked

972
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 2: the most and that I appreciated the most because he

973
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 2: was the man.

974
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 1: Did you really text a Brown's coach during the draft

975
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 1: and say, hey, let's wreck the league.

976
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:39,880
Speaker 2: So me and Dal Loggins, who's my quarterback coach, we

977
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 2: had a good relationship, and he was texting me throughout

978
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 2: the draft like be patient, bro, be patient, We're coming

979
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 2: to get you. And this was a very personal conversation

980
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 2: between me and him that he told to a friend

981
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 2: that then got spun into what it is today. So

982
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 2: there was no you know, I'm still walking across the

983
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 2: stage doing all this. I'm doing my thing like I'm

984
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 2: more excited to go to Avenue in New York and

985
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 2: party with Drake and the boys after to celebrate than

986
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 2: I am really thinking about football. At this time, everything

987
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 2: to me was like getting drafted in the first and

988
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 2: going to this party afterwards, and like it's what was

989
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 2: the cherry on top of the whole thing was what

990
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: it was for me. So you know, that was a

991
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 2: very personal text that I sent that was internally supposed

992
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 2: to motivate us to be and get to where we

993
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 2: wanted to go. That then was then spun as to

994
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 2: me being this cocky, full headed, you know, egotistical little

995
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 2: shit that doesn't know anything about the NFL. And I

996
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 2: don't think that's necessarily how I was. Now, you can

997
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 2: ask Andrew Hawkins or Joe Thomas or Joe Hayden, or

998
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 2: you know, the legends in the building that we had

999
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 2: with us, and they would probably tell you that I

1000
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 2: was carrying myself like that. From my perspective of things,

1001
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 2: that was never my intention, nor did I want to

1002
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 2: carry myself like that. It was against everything that I

1003
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 2: was raised than the grain to beat did you want

1004
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 2: to go to Cleveland. Where did you want to get drafted? Mm?

1005
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 2: Where did I want to get drafted? Probably Dallas better.

1006
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 2: I love Jerry. I loved getting a chance to go

1007
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 2: to sporting events in that stadium and cross and circles

1008
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 2: with him. I love getting the opportunity as a college

1009
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 2: Texas A and M kid to walk into that box

1010
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: and like rub shoulders with the haun choke yeah the guy. Yeah,

1011
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 2: So like I love that. And sixteenth pick of that

1012
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 2: draft was Dallas. And I remember the anticipation in Radio

1013
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 2: City when that pick was coming up, and I had

1014
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 2: my fingers crossed under that table the entire time. Please

1015
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 2: let me go put that star on my helmet. Looking

1016
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 2: back now, thank God that it didn't happen, because I

1017
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 2: wouldn't be sitting here today.

1018
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: You're saying that you wanted to go to Dallas, you

1019
00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: hoping Dallas draft you, but you said you're glad you'd

1020
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,600
Speaker 1: I didn't go to Dallas because.

1021
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 2: I think, knowing what I was doing in Cleveland, how

1022
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 2: hard it was for me to party and move and

1023
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,399
Speaker 2: do these kind of things. If you would have put

1024
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 2: me in a landscape that was my backyard that I

1025
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 2: knew you know, I had been driving from College Station

1026
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 2: up to Dallas when one nothing going on in College Station, right,

1027
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 2: So it was something I was familiar with. I know

1028
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 2: who I was hanging around at that point in my life,

1029
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,280
Speaker 2: and I think it would have been just an absolute disaster,

1030
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 2: to the point of it wouldn't have been suicide. There

1031
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 2: would have been the issue. It would have been drinking

1032
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 2: and driving. It would have been taking a bag from

1033
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 2: somebody you shouldn't take it from, and just boom, could

1034
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 2: have been over in an instant. So I think I

1035
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 2: know myself well enough to be able to say that

1036
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 2: it would have been bad and its own right, and luckily, thankfully,

1037
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,919
Speaker 2: you know, it didn't happen, even though at that time

1038
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:53,760
Speaker 2: it's what I wanted.

1039
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 1: What would you study habits like? In Cleveland? How often

1040
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: did you study? Did you watch Tate? Did you study

1041
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,760
Speaker 1: the game when you're meetings? Did you were you attentive?

1042
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: What was Johnny's study habits? Practice habits like?

1043
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:11,760
Speaker 2: I would say, you know, Kyle Shanahan was the most

1044
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 2: detailed person that I had ever seen in my life.

1045
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 2: And I thought Cliff Kingsbury was really, really good, but

1046
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 2: Shanahan took it to a different level. He could coach

1047
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 2: eleven twelve positions on the offense, detail, hat placement, hand placement,

1048
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 2: every single thing. So our meetings and things were incredibly detailed.

1049
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 2: My quarterback room was not a home for me because

1050
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 2: of Brian Hoyer. Brian Hoyer had been waiting on opportunity

1051
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 2: to be able to go really provide for his family,

1052
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 2: get an opportunity, and he saw how much of an

1053
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 2: upper hand he had on me, and he didn't hold

1054
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 2: back when it came to that. So there was instances

1055
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 2: in the quarterback room early on where I would ask

1056
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: the same question a couple times and he'd be at

1057
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:04,319
Speaker 2: the head of the table and go again, we're doing

1058
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 2: this again. Wow, keep him out of it. Right, let's

1059
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,720
Speaker 2: just cut that off. And I don't have a bad

1060
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 2: word to say about Brian Hoyer. That is just fact

1061
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 2: of what happened in that room. So when that happened,

1062
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 2: we we were to ask another quarterback this in that room.

1063
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 2: Go ask Connorshaw. Go ask Connorshaw, who played at South

1064
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 2: Carolina and it was with us in Cleveland. Go ask

1065
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 2: him how Brian Hoyer was in that room. Go ask

1066
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 2: dal Logins how he was in that room. And it's okay,

1067
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 2: But at that point in time of where I was

1068
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 2: and I'm the franchise guy, I could have used a

1069
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,479
Speaker 2: little help, especially when they knew what I was doing.

1070
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 2: And I've said this before in the past, and people

1071
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 2: have said, why don't you take self accountability for what

1072
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 2: it was and you not putting in the work. I

1073
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:51,319
Speaker 2: didn't know what work like that was. I didn't know

1074
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 2: what the grind was because I was great at Texas

1075
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,439
Speaker 2: A and M without it. So a sentim entitlement comes

1076
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 2: in that I can do it the same way because

1077
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 2: I don't know any better. So when you have that

1078
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 2: going on in the quarterback room, then I just do this.

1079
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 2: I ain't speaking if I question something I'm asking. I'm

1080
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 2: embarrassed right I'm getting dogged by a guy who's supposed

1081
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,439
Speaker 2: to be my teammate when I don't know. I'm trying

1082
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,359
Speaker 2: to figure it out. I don't know what cover three is.

1083
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 2: You know what we did at A and M. If

1084
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 2: that linebacker's tucked in and swoops faster than him, bang,

1085
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 2: I'm throwing the bubble and he's down the sideline. I

1086
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 2: wasn't looking at safeties. I'm not looking at one high,

1087
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 2: two high rotation. My mind didn't work that way from

1088
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,879
Speaker 2: a football player perspective. And then when I'm going into

1089
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 2: my safe space quarterback room, I'm getting so I'm not

1090
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 2: saying a word. Now, I'm struggling. Now, I'm getting behind.

1091
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 2: Now i don't know the detail of the plays because

1092
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,439
Speaker 2: I'm not going home and dialing it in even more.

1093
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 2: In the building, I studied film. I wanted to watch

1094
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 2: these Rex Grossman clips of Washington and Shanahan. I wanted

1095
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 2: to watch RG three twenty twelve season. I wanted to

1096
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 2: see how you do this stuff, and I watched it

1097
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 2: that I grind it the way that Peyton Manning does.

1098
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 2: Absolutely not. I didn't even know that was a thing

1099
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:12,919
Speaker 2: until Josh McCown got in the building the next year.

1100
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 2: And when Josh McCown came in, the shift in that

1101
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 2: room went through the roof of positivity. When I got there,

1102
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 2: he comes up to me and he goes, you want

1103
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 2: to be a great quarterback. I go yeah, He goes,

1104
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 2: tie a string to the end of my backpack and

1105
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,479
Speaker 2: you can follow me around wherever you want, and I'll

1106
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 2: show you what it takes to really be a quarterback

1107
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,800
Speaker 2: in the NFL. Now, when that goes to the practice

1108
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 2: field and we're out there and we're dialing in these

1109
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 2: bang eights. We're throwing the comeback. McCown's sitting there like,

1110
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 2: you can't fucking do this. I can't make that throw,

1111
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 2: but you can't. What do you think that does for

1112
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 2: a second year of player's confidence through the roof. Now,

1113
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 2: our team as a whole is not the same our

1114
00:56:57,360 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 2: organization in a sense inside the building, it's still incredibly dysfunctional.

1115
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 2: But for those first like you know, ten twelve weeks

1116
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 2: of the season in twenty fifteen, we're not winning. You know,

1117
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 2: we only win two games that year. Like me as

1118
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 2: a football player, I'm growing John de Filipo, who's our

1119
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 2: offensive coordinator, Like we're growing together. His energy in the

1120
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 2: room and what it is is like positive and it's me, Josh,

1121
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 2: McCown and Connorshaw again. And there is a huge shift

1122
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 2: in that quarterback room that next year, and I start

1123
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 2: to get confidence and I start to do this, and

1124
00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 2: then life happens to me again to where I'm not

1125
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 2: taking care of myself and I'm frustrated in the building

1126
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 2: and I'll never forget. Probably about week thirteen or fourteen

1127
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 2: of the season, I'm walking out of coach Petton's office

1128
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 2: or I'm upstairs in the where the coach's offices are

1129
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 2: in Cleveland, and I walked by Jimmy O'Neal's office and

1130
00:57:58,040 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 2: he's like, hey, Johnny, come in here for a sec.

1131
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it's our defensive coordinator. I'm like, what's up, coach,

1132
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 2: And I'm chill with everybody, like a that's just how

1133
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 2: I am. And he's like sitting back at his desk

1134
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 2: and I got his foot up and he goes, you know,

1135
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 2: we'd be a really good football player if you got

1136
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 2: your head out of your ass, and I'm like so

1137
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 2: caught off guard. Now this confidence that I'm building is

1138
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 2: immediately just now. I don't know if he meant in

1139
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 2: away or just like, you know, you're two and two

1140
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 2: and twelve and your team is struggling and you're like,

1141
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 2: you know, looking to wage the vent or whatever it was.

1142
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 2: But this happened. And when I left that that office

1143
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 2: and I went back down to the quarterback room, I

1144
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 2: was white as a ghost, so white that Josh McCown

1145
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 2: looked at me just like you are and was like,

1146
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 2: what happened? And I'm like stuttering through this story and

1147
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 2: Josh McCown gets up out of his seat and walks

1148
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 2: straight up to that to that fucking office. Now what

1149
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 2: was said, I don't exactly know what it is, But

1150
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 2: when he came back in that room, he was pissed.

1151
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 2: He said, you don't do that in this league with

1152
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 2: the young guy and somebody like you just don't. You

1153
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 2: can't break it. Coump break me in half. And from

1154
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 2: there I was broken. I ain't give a fuck. I

1155
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 2: ain't care about that team. I didn't care about that

1156
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 2: what my role was, and there's no excuse. All of

1157
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 2: these things led up to be the perfect failure, and

1158
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's on my shoulders.

1159
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 2: But when you're starting to get a little momentum and

1160
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 2: you get broken like that, that's when the running to

1161
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:33,080
Speaker 2: Vegas happened, and me missing the last game of the season,

1162
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 2: that's when the Whig story comes out. And when I'm

1163
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 2: really like running two three weeks after this, when this happened,

1164
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 2: I go straight home. I go straight to my basement.

1165
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 2: I get the biggest bottle of Hennessy out of the

1166
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:49,120
Speaker 2: bottom of the drawer, and now I'm sitting in the

1167
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 2: basement I'm listening to the future every second. Every day, I'm

1168
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 2: partying by myself just to try and like get out

1169
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 2: of this reality of a situation that I'm living with

1170
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 2: a head coach that wants nothing to do with me,

1171
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 2: with the DC who's saying, if I get my head

1172
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 2: out of my ass, we'll have a chance. Just this

1173
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 2: whole perfect storm of just like fuck this. And when

1174
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 2: that happened, I was done.

1175
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 1: What was your relationship we like with Josh Gordon? You

1176
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 1: have a guy and here we know he's had his issues,

1177
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 1: his struggles, very similar to what you're sharing with us

1178
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: right now.

1179
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 2: What was your relationship with Josh Great? I saw a

1180
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:29,439
Speaker 2: side of Josh that the rest of the world didn't

1181
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 2: get to see. I saw a guy that was from

1182
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 2: that trap, that from that bad neighborhood growing up, who

1183
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 2: would beat the odds to be able to get there.

1184
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 2: One of the most physically talented specimens that you'll ever

1185
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 2: see on the football field. He struggled with a lot

1186
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 2: of the same things that I struggle with, and I

1187
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 2: tried my best throughout those times to be a better

1188
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 2: influence around Josh than a lot of other people were.

1189
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:55,360
Speaker 2: Because a lot of his boys didn't give a shit

1190
01:00:55,400 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 2: at that point in time. And you know, should I

1191
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 2: have done things differently in our relationship to not you know,

1192
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 2: sway him certain ways, because I think I definitely had

1193
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:10,919
Speaker 2: to do this. We didn't do drugs together. You didn't

1194
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 2: do drugs. We didn't do drugs together. He would He

1195
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 2: loved the weed, man, he loved it. And when he

1196
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,560
Speaker 2: would come over to my apartment, all he ever wanted

1197
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 2: to do was roll it and put it on the counter.

1198
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 2: He just wanted to be included on the whole thing,

1199
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 2: which is the way his mind kind of worked. But

1200
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 2: he never smoked around me. He never. I mean, we

1201
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 2: went on trips together. We went to Aspen, we went everywhere.

1202
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 2: Like JG was my dog to the core. And funny

1203
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 2: you asked, I just spoke to him yesterday and he

1204
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 2: sounds like he's in the best place that I've seen

1205
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 2: him in years. And it takes time and getting away

1206
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 2: from it, and for me and him, we're talking about

1207
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 2: golf now, and golf is kind of like an avenue

1208
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 2: that I never thought me and me and JG would

1209
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 2: be able to talk about golf, go play, and like

1210
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 2: golf is really shifted my mindset and being able to

1211
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 2: still continuously give me competition, but it's as much as

1212
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 2: it is against other people. When you're playing golf is

1213
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 2: always about yourself and battling yourself six inches between your

1214
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 2: ears and then you know, getting in a good headspace

1215
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 2: to go up and hit a good shot.

1216
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 1: John I want to get you out of here. You

1217
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 1: mentioned that once you left Cleveland that you contemplated suicide

1218
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 1: and you spent all your money. Clearly that's the lowest

1219
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 1: point of your life, whether it a culmination of I'm

1220
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 1: not where I thought it would be. As far as

1221
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 1: in the NFL. You're in the NFL, but you're not playing,

1222
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 1: and you're not you feel you're not getting the support

1223
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: that you need or deserves in order for Johnny to

1224
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 1: be Johnny, because you just sometimes you need somebody, just

1225
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,240
Speaker 1: a little support. You need somebody to say, Johnny, hey, bro,

1226
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: you can do this. Pat you on the back instead

1227
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 1: of kicking the butt all the time. When did you know?

1228
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,520
Speaker 1: So what happened when you're contemplating taking your own.

1229
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: Life, it's different. It's not that I don't have the support.

1230
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 2: It's not that I don't have the team, because at

1231
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 2: that point in time, I had every single person you

1232
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 2: could ever think trying to reach out, and I'm just

1233
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:12,360
Speaker 2: blocking people at every single turn. And I think for me,

1234
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 2: it was something I didn't find out until I went

1235
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 2: to play in Canada again. I remember having this feeling

1236
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 2: in Cleveland that I didn't love football. Okay, but it

1237
01:03:20,920 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 2: was a feeling. And when I didn't play for a

1238
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 2: while and I'm out of the league and I'm trying

1239
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 2: to get back in, I ended up going to Canada,

1240
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 2: and when I walked into that locker room for the

1241
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,520
Speaker 2: first time and walked out on a practice football field,

1242
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,640
Speaker 2: every single feeling that I had felt in that Cleveland

1243
01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 2: locker room came back to me in that Canadian locker room,

1244
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 2: and I knew right then and there that I didn't

1245
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 2: truly truly love this game to the point of where

1246
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 2: I need to do what I need to do to

1247
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 2: be successful. So the suicide thing comes in when you

1248
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 2: look at life and you say I fucked up the

1249
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 2: biggest golden opportunity that you could ever imagined. And this

1250
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 2: is where I think whenever you said what you said

1251
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 2: about the Fan Control Football League, it is sad, Shannon.

1252
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:12,280
Speaker 2: What you said on that day is exactly right. It

1253
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 2: is sad to watch a guy who had all the

1254
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 2: potential in the world, all the opportunity, all the resources

1255
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 2: and team around him, and he still goes fuck that.

1256
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 2: But what if I told you today that that I

1257
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 2: don't think that I loved what I was doing enough

1258
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 2: to ever get into the mix of doing it the

1259
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 2: right way. I went through that period with Josh McCowan

1260
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 2: where we did it, but like it never was like

1261
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 2: over the step and I'm not in the gym, I'm

1262
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,439
Speaker 2: not grinding. I'm not doing the things that I did

1263
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 2: back in the day that made me great. So now

1264
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,400
Speaker 2: I realize that I didn't love the game of football

1265
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 2: like that. I just happened to be immensely talented at it.

1266
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 2: I happen to have great teammates around me, great coaches,

1267
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:57,200
Speaker 2: great perfect storm to be able to get me to

1268
01:04:57,240 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 2: walk across that hall at Radio City Music Hall, across

1269
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 2: that stage. So that feeling came back in Canada. I

1270
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 2: realize I don't love the game. And then when the

1271
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 2: game's gone from you, here's a huge transition. And every

1272
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 2: guy will tell you what the transition is to figuring

1273
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 2: out your identity and who you are as a person.

1274
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:20,240
Speaker 2: And I truly feel like from two thousand and seventeen on,

1275
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 2: that's seven years that that's what I've been doing. And

1276
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 2: my mission has been to try and stay away, get

1277
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 2: a little bit of this hype off me, and just

1278
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:32,720
Speaker 2: live and find out about life. To be a great uncle,

1279
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 2: to be a great brother, to be a great son,

1280
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 2: To be a great role model for Texas A and M.

1281
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:42,680
Speaker 2: To be a great alumni, you know, a leader, To

1282
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 2: be a great resource for my guys who play at

1283
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:48,040
Speaker 2: Texas A and M. And these are all things that

1284
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,760
Speaker 2: I'm trying to do and moving forward that I've completely

1285
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 2: neglected in the past.

1286
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:54,760
Speaker 1: If I can say, Johnny, you could go back, what

1287
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 1: would probably be one of the two things that you

1288
01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 1: wish you could do over.

1289
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:00,960
Speaker 2: If I could go back to certain point in time,

1290
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 2: I would drop myself right after that in the locker

1291
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 2: room of the Oklahoma game in the Cotton Bowl. Knowing

1292
01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:11,640
Speaker 2: what I know now, I would have known how to

1293
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 2: handle myself. I would have known how important and imperative

1294
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:18,480
Speaker 2: it is to be a better teammate than just numbers

1295
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,479
Speaker 2: on a field on Saturday. There's something to be said

1296
01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 2: about how your guys ride for you when you're doing

1297
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:28,200
Speaker 2: the right things. In the building, and that twenty thirteen

1298
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:30,640
Speaker 2: year for us at Texas A and M, a lot

1299
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 2: of internal problems were happening because their leader is distracted.

1300
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 2: Their horse that makes this whole carriage go is fucked up.

1301
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 2: And the shame that I have for letting guys down

1302
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 2: like Cedric Boye and like Jake Matthews and Mike Evans

1303
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 2: is the same shame that I carried with me to

1304
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:57,240
Speaker 2: this day about letting down Joe Thomas as a guy

1305
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 2: who's in the end of his Hall of Fame career

1306
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,520
Speaker 2: and is looking for somebody to come in and lead

1307
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 2: this team, and then you get me. It's tough, you know,

1308
01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 2: it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to have been the guy that

1309
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:18,720
Speaker 2: have let down some overall really great athletes of my

1310
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:22,840
Speaker 2: time and of my generation. Something I carry hopefully with

1311
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:25,360
Speaker 2: my head high right now. But at the same time, internally,

1312
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:28,919
Speaker 2: I know it eats me alive because they did more

1313
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 2: for me than I gave in returned to them. And

1314
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,400
Speaker 2: what a shallow kind of selfish way of life that

1315
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 2: I was living at that point in time. And I

1316
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,200
Speaker 2: have a lot of regret, like I regret wasting a

1317
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:42,800
Speaker 2: couple of Joe Thomas's last year is in Cleveland. I

1318
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:49,440
Speaker 2: regret disrespecting Lebron and not making taking that's making sure

1319
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:52,400
Speaker 2: what it meant to me, showing him that I give

1320
01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:56,280
Speaker 2: a fuck enough to just do what's right, to listen

1321
01:07:56,320 --> 01:07:58,760
Speaker 2: to mav and listen to the team they built around me.

1322
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 2: Bucks me up that I messed up our second year

1323
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 2: at Texas A and M and we went seven and

1324
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 2: four or whatever, because that was our chance to win

1325
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,440
Speaker 2: a national time him off the game against Duke. Had

1326
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 2: a cool game against Dude one that was like a

1327
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 2: legendary kind of tail on it. But like I almost

1328
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 2: wish to this day that we lost that game because

1329
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:21,600
Speaker 2: I would have came back so us having that legendary

1330
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 2: run against a bowl game. That's kind of like kind

1331
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:27,519
Speaker 2: of wish we would have lost, because then I would

1332
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:29,679
Speaker 2: have came back with a vengeance. And I probably wouldn't

1333
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 2: have got drafted because I would have gotten in trouble. Right,

1334
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:35,360
Speaker 2: But it doesn't sit right with me certain things, and

1335
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:38,719
Speaker 2: those are three things how I wasted my twenty thirteen season.

1336
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:42,240
Speaker 2: How I treated the legends in that building in Cleveland,

1337
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:47,080
Speaker 2: and how I treated Lebron in math and you know,

1338
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:48,800
Speaker 2: from there, I can even take it a step further

1339
01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:50,960
Speaker 2: and say, in twenty sixteen, I don't think I treated

1340
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,640
Speaker 2: Drake the way that I should have with representing the

1341
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:56,240
Speaker 2: clothes that I was wearing and his OVO brand and

1342
01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 2: his label and everything. You know, at that point in time,

1343
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:01,240
Speaker 2: I was so selfish that I was dragging everybody that

1344
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:04,719
Speaker 2: was tied to me through the mud. Now it's regret.

1345
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:07,720
Speaker 2: I'm not harboring on this in this in any kind

1346
01:09:07,720 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 2: of way. I'm just calling it exactly what it is

1347
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,840
Speaker 2: in the way that I feel about it, And you know,

1348
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:15,679
Speaker 2: I owe those people apology, and hopefully one day down

1349
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:18,200
Speaker 2: the line, I'll be able to have the opportunity as

1350
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:19,640
Speaker 2: a man to be able to look him in the

1351
01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:22,400
Speaker 2: eye and be able to do that. I understand. This

1352
01:09:22,439 --> 01:09:23,640
Speaker 2: is my last question for you.

1353
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:27,160
Speaker 1: I understand what that win in tusc Loosa did for

1354
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:30,120
Speaker 1: your career, but it seems to me it was that

1355
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:34,080
Speaker 1: win against Oklahoma and the Cotton Bowl that really changed

1356
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:36,719
Speaker 1: it for you.

1357
01:09:36,720 --> 01:09:40,040
Speaker 2: You know, they're coming down from Norman, We're coming up

1358
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:43,000
Speaker 2: from College Station. It's a clash in the biggest stadium

1359
01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:46,599
Speaker 2: in the state of Texas. The spectacle for US in

1360
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:50,439
Speaker 2: Texas This is the granddaddy of them all, not what

1361
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,720
Speaker 2: goes on out in the Rose Bowl out West for

1362
01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:56,320
Speaker 2: a Texas kid, for a Kyler Murray, for these guys

1363
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:59,120
Speaker 2: we were talking about. To play in that stadium and

1364
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:03,639
Speaker 2: do what we did day was like, you can't tell

1365
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:07,160
Speaker 2: me shit from there on out. And what a shallow

1366
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:11,439
Speaker 2: mindset to have, What a selfish mindset to have. But

1367
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:13,560
Speaker 2: being a Texas kid, it's almost feeling like one of

1368
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:15,720
Speaker 2: those real big dreams and pillars of your life has

1369
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:18,280
Speaker 2: been accomplished. And I didn't treat people the right way

1370
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 2: after that, and it's unfortunate as we see it here today.

1371
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:24,680
Speaker 2: How is Johnny Manseil doing? Probably the happiest I've ever

1372
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:26,519
Speaker 2: been in my life. And I think I went through

1373
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 2: a period of time after the documentary came out where

1374
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:31,160
Speaker 2: I maybe acted a little bit like I did in

1375
01:10:31,200 --> 01:10:35,040
Speaker 2: the past, and it's easy to let ego and fame

1376
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,920
Speaker 2: and stuff kind of creep back in. And what I've

1377
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:42,720
Speaker 2: done now since really, you know, December ish, you know,

1378
01:10:42,800 --> 01:10:46,760
Speaker 2: it's new three months, but I've insulated myself in a

1379
01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:49,920
Speaker 2: way with a team that I can trust, people that

1380
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 2: I love that are doing nothing but looking out for

1381
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:56,160
Speaker 2: my best wishes, best regards. They know me, They're not

1382
01:10:56,240 --> 01:10:59,320
Speaker 2: letting me cheat, They're holding me accountable, and it's not

1383
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:01,920
Speaker 2: going to happen. It is going to be a slow,

1384
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,439
Speaker 2: gradual process to get to who I want to be

1385
01:11:04,479 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 2: as a man. But in my opinion, sitting here today

1386
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:09,080
Speaker 2: with you and joining the hell out of this conversation,

1387
01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:11,280
Speaker 2: so I feel like I'm on the right path to

1388
01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:14,080
Speaker 2: where I need to go. And as Johnny Manziel, not

1389
01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:15,000
Speaker 2: as Johnny Football.

1390
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:17,200
Speaker 1: You once married and this is the last one you

1391
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,639
Speaker 1: were once married. Could you see yourself being married again?

1392
01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:22,000
Speaker 1: Or is there someone in Johnny Manzil's life that's keeping

1393
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 1: Johnny grounded?

1394
01:11:23,439 --> 01:11:26,960
Speaker 2: Nope. It is my friends right now, my family, you know.

1395
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:29,840
Speaker 2: It is my two nieces with a third one on

1396
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,760
Speaker 2: the way that I talk to every single day on FaceTime.

1397
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,920
Speaker 2: That are really my reason why I'm still here right

1398
01:11:36,840 --> 01:11:40,040
Speaker 2: and a huge reason of my success is based off

1399
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:43,000
Speaker 2: my sister and my mother, and my father and my

1400
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:45,479
Speaker 2: true core friends and my team I have around me.

1401
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:50,080
Speaker 2: So love will come when it comes, But for right now,

1402
01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:52,920
Speaker 2: I'm focused on getting a bag, taking care of my money,

1403
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,960
Speaker 2: and getting back to where I need to be, being

1404
01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:57,120
Speaker 2: the best brother being the best uncle, and being there

1405
01:11:57,120 --> 01:12:00,160
Speaker 2: for my family and my university in a way I

1406
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:02,880
Speaker 2: need to be to make people proud that I want

1407
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 2: to make proud. I don't want to continuously keep letting

1408
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:08,280
Speaker 2: people down when I feel like I'm destined for bigger,

1409
01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:10,880
Speaker 2: greater things than that in life. I am so proud

1410
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:13,519
Speaker 2: that you're sitting here today and you found your reason

1411
01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:16,759
Speaker 2: to live, Johnny Minzail.

1412
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, all my life, grinding all my life, sacrifice, hustle,

1413
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:24,880
Speaker 3: pare the price, Want a slice, Got to brow the

1414
01:12:24,960 --> 01:12:28,080
Speaker 3: dice all my life. I'll be grinding all my life,

1415
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 3: all my life, the grinning all my life, sacrifice, hustle,

1416
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:36,920
Speaker 3: pay the price, want slice, Got to brow the dia.

1417
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:37,240
Speaker 2: All my life.

1418
01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:41,040
Speaker 3: I've been grounding all my life.