Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central is America's
Speaker 2: only sorts for news. This is The Daily Show with
Speaker 2: your homes Friday Day.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Roy Shang. We've got
Speaker 3: a great show for you tonight. We'll talk about Nikki
Speaker 3: Haley updating her LinkedIn profile. We've got a new contender
Speaker 3: for craziest Republican. And you won't believe who the two
Speaker 3: presidential nominees are gonna be. So let's get right into
Speaker 3: our ongoing coverage of Indecision twenty twenty four. That's again
Speaker 3: at the Big News. Yesterday was Super Tuesday, the most
Speaker 3: important Tuesday of the year if you're a nerd. With
Speaker 3: sixteen states and territories holding their primaries on the same day,
Speaker 3: it was the last chance for someone other than Donald
Speaker 3: Trump and Joe Biden to break through and change the
Speaker 3: dynamic of the race. Please boot out on Like Biden
Speaker 3: and Trump dominated the vote, please don't let them dominated vote.
Speaker 4: President Biden and former President Trump dominate the vote.
Speaker 5: Sweeping nearly all their primaries and clearing the path for
Speaker 5: a November rematch.
Speaker 3: The Baby Booma death grip continues, Does anyone else have
Speaker 3: a chance to break through?
Speaker 6: An NBC News election alerd and report, And this is
Speaker 6: good news for Nikki Haley. NBC News can project that
Speaker 6: she has won the state of ver monitor first victory
Speaker 6: of the night.
Speaker 3: Yes, Ma, yeah, Nikki won. The Subaru owner who makes
Speaker 3: their own honey voting block. You can build on that,
Speaker 3: Nikki Haley twenty twenty four.
Speaker 7: Baby breaking news this morning, Nicki Haley dropping out of
Speaker 7: the twenty twenty four presidential race, leaving Donald Trump the
Speaker 7: last man standing in the race.
Speaker 3: Nah, don't quit now, Nikki. You are only eighty thousand
Speaker 3: delegates behind. If you drop out, who are little girls
Speaker 3: without any principles, convictions or charisma look up to? Actually,
Speaker 3: you know what, hang on, I need to talk to
Speaker 3: Nikki for a second. Nikki, I honestly, I'm sorry. I
Speaker 3: have no idea why everyone, including myself, is being so
Speaker 3: mean to you. I was actually rooting for you because
Speaker 3: I know you are just trying to save your potty
Speaker 3: and the world from Donald Trump, and all we ever
Speaker 3: did was shit on you because you're such a giant
Speaker 3: loser who sucks so bad. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 3: doing it again, I'm sorry. Please consider this a formal
Speaker 3: and incereo apology. We should have done a lot better,
Speaker 3: like you should have done your own home state, and
Speaker 3: you lost by twenty points like a loser. I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I can't stop. I can't stop. But that's
Speaker 3: right to God. If you turn around and endorse Trump
Speaker 3: will I will totally be expecting that. But now Nicki
Speaker 3: Hayley's out, and so the whole party is coalescing behind
Speaker 3: Donald Trump. Even Mitch McConnell endorsed him today. Mitch, I mean, man,
Speaker 3: you said Trump did an insurrection, Trump said racisthit about
Speaker 3: your Asian wife, and you endorsed him again. I mean,
Speaker 3: what is wrong with your brain other than that thing
Speaker 3: that's obviously wrong with your brain. So now it's officially
Speaker 3: Trump and Biden. They crushed the primaries like it was
Speaker 3: an audition for a life alert commercial. And you know what,
Speaker 3: you know what, America, I don't want to hear any
Speaker 3: more complaining. Okay, everyone's bitching about how much you don't
Speaker 3: want to be Trump and Biden, and then all you
Speaker 3: do is pick Trump and Biden. Okay, you'll say you
Speaker 3: hate them, but at least a couple million of you allan,
Speaker 3: and now what the primaries? I just done? Now, where
Speaker 3: were the twists? Where was the drama? I swear someone
Speaker 3: doesn't murder that fiance on the Love Is Blind finale tonight.
Speaker 3: I'm smashing my TV. Although to be fair, that was
Speaker 3: a little bell of drama. Democrats did give Joe Biden
Speaker 3: some trouble yesterday.
Speaker 1: In Minnesota, nearly twenty percent of Democrats voting uncommitted instead
Speaker 1: of voting for Biden, a significant protest vote fueled by
Speaker 1: concerns about his age and support over Israel.
Speaker 8: Joe Biden lost American Samoa to a little known candidate
Speaker 8: named Jason Palmer, fifty one votes to forty.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, Jason Palmer? Looking go hello? Quick question? Quick question, though,
Speaker 3: who the fuck is Jason Palmer. I've never seen this
Speaker 3: blow up Matt Damon in my life, Sonny. He wins
Speaker 3: American Samoa. I mean, this must be a fascinating guy.
Speaker 3: For interesting background, tell me more.
Speaker 5: Palmer's biography holds him up as a political out. He
Speaker 5: called himself an education and tech entrepreneur.
Speaker 3: Okay, pass pass, hot pass. I don't need another generic
Speaker 3: white guy tech entrepreneur. Okay, no thanks, I can't believe
Speaker 3: this is who sid from toy Story became. But as
Speaker 3: boring as this dude was, if you watch his campaign video,
Speaker 3: you'll see that he had one thing going for him.
Speaker 3: Correct pronunciation, tallo falava.
Speaker 5: I'm Jason Palmer, American Samoa.
Speaker 7: I'm asking for your vote in the Democratic Caucus on
Speaker 7: March fifth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, American Samoa. I also can pronounce it correctly, just
Speaker 3: like when I visited Chile and Buffalona, where I ate
Speaker 3: a croissant. That's how underrepresentive Pacific Islanders are. If you
Speaker 3: can say that name correctly, you'll sweep the vote. But still,
Speaker 3: how can you be so popular in American Samoa when
Speaker 3: no one knows him here in the mainland.
Speaker 9: You're probably wondering, who is this Jason Palmer.
Speaker 1: I've never heard of him before. Well, in the mainland,
Speaker 1: I'm actually very well known.
Speaker 3: Wow, I actually respect that this dude is going down
Speaker 3: there like, Hey, I'm the most famous man in America.
Speaker 3: You guys don't have the internet, right. Here's what I
Speaker 3: think really happened. American Samoa got together and voted for
Speaker 3: this guy as a pr move because they need it.
Speaker 3: America doesn't give them citizenship of votes. Most Americans don't
Speaker 3: even know that American Samoa is part of America, even
Speaker 3: though it's in the name. So you just let this
Speaker 3: random guy win the primary, and all of a sudden
Speaker 3: we're talking about them now. Everyone's saying, like, wait, this
Speaker 3: is a place that's part of America. It's not just
Speaker 3: a cookie. I mean, we should let this cookie vote.
Speaker 3: But between the protest vote in Minnesota and the upset
Speaker 3: in American Samoa, the Democratic Party has had some tensions
Speaker 3: for more of these results. Has go to Grace Cooling
Speaker 3: Schmidt live from American Samoa. Right, Grace, what is the.
Speaker 5: Mood over there, Ronnie.
Speaker 4: I've been walking up and down this speech all day,
Speaker 4: and let me tell you, the mood is great. People
Speaker 4: are smiling, the sand is soft, I can see whales.
Speaker 5: I'm falling in love with politics all over again.
Speaker 3: You know that's great insight for more Minnesotas. I'm committed vote.
Speaker 3: Let's go to Michael Costa and Duluth. Michael, what are
Speaker 3: you seeing on the ground there? What am I seeing?
Speaker 7: I'm seeing Grace in an island paradise while Michael Costa
Speaker 7: is stuck in a Duluth parking lot. According to an
Speaker 7: exit poll I conducted with myself. These results can suck.
Speaker 7: Why did Grace get to go to American Samoa?
Speaker 4: Sorry, where's American Samoa? I'm in American Samoa.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Michael, maybe if you had some cultural sensitivity, you
Speaker 3: could be there too, Grace. What a vote is saying
Speaker 3: about what they want from the Democratic Party.
Speaker 4: A lot, Ronnie. I've talked to a bunch of voters,
Speaker 4: one of them is a very cute instructor. And later
Speaker 4: I'm going surfing with one of the Rocks cousins.
Speaker 3: Right, great, and Michael, have you talked to any of
Speaker 3: the rocks cousins. They're not here, dude, Nobody cool is here?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 7: It's just me and Princess Leah ear muffs, trying not
Speaker 7: to freeze to death. Meanwhile Grace is having the time
Speaker 7: of her life on a sunny beach. I hate democracy.
Speaker 7: This sucks.
Speaker 4: Ouch, Michael.
Speaker 5: I'll have you know it's not always perfect. Here. It
Speaker 5: rained this morning, that it made over the mountains. It
Speaker 5: was just so beautiful.
Speaker 4: I'm not usually spiritual, but like I got it, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's amazing, Grace. It sounds like you need to
Speaker 3: stay there a bit longer. We'll set you up. Michael, Hey,
Speaker 3: you stay out there too. What No, I want to
Speaker 3: come home, Ronnie, No, no, no, we can't afford to fly
Speaker 3: you home if we're gonna pay for Grace to stay
Speaker 3: out there.
Speaker 4: What Yeah, Michael, have some respect.
Speaker 5: I'm reporting. Excuse me?
Speaker 4: Could I get another complimentary my tie?
Speaker 5: I'm very well known on the mainland.
Speaker 3: Where's school? It's when Michael calls everybody? When when you
Speaker 3: come back, we'll find out what the next mornin Luther
Speaker 3: King Junior. So don't go away, Welcome back to the
Speaker 3: Daily Show. Super Tuesday wasn't all about picking which Facebook
Speaker 3: grand podcast to control the nukes. They are also primaries
Speaker 3: for other officers, and one of the most important ones
Speaker 3: was in North Carolina.
Speaker 10: The North Carolina race for the governor's mansion is going
Speaker 10: to be among the most competitive, and now CNN is
Speaker 10: projecting that the Republican candidate in that is going to
Speaker 10: be Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson, a favorite among evangelicals, becoming
Speaker 10: the first black gubernatorial nominee in North Carolina.
Speaker 2: Those who want to go into the mud feel free.
Speaker 3: Where we're going is we're going towards.
Speaker 2: The substantive issues in all North Carolinia's face.
Speaker 3: Wow, pretty cool. This guy could be the first black
Speaker 3: governor in North Carolina history. And it's nice that finally
Speaker 3: some serious candidates in the Republican Party who are really
Speaker 3: focused on the issues. So what are these issues?
Speaker 2: Ain't but two genders, ain't nothing but men and women.
Speaker 5: He says, God called on mentally, not women.
Speaker 2: Called to be led by men when it was time
Speaker 2: to face down the life shit David, not de vita David.
Speaker 2: There's no reason anybody anywhere in America should be telling
Speaker 2: it in time about ten genderism.
Speaker 8: Homosexuality, any of that.
Speaker 3: Phil And yes I called it, Phil.
Speaker 2: We could pass a bill and say you can't have
Speaker 2: an emotion in North Carolina for any reason.
Speaker 11: He says the civil rights movement in the nineteen sixties
Speaker 11: was quote crap, and that Martin Luther King.
Speaker 5: Was a communist.
Speaker 9: Robinson posted the movie Black Panther was quote created by
Speaker 9: an agnostic Jew to pull the shekels out of your
Speaker 9: schwartz to pockets, using the Yiddish words for money and black.
Speaker 6: He referred to the victims of the Parkland School shooting
Speaker 6: as spoiled little bastards.
Speaker 5: He says the.
Speaker 11: Moon landing in nineteen sixty nine may have been fake.
Speaker 11: He also says there is a secret ruling Camal that
Speaker 11: is part reptile.
Speaker 5: And said that Beyonce is Satanic.
Speaker 3: Wow, this guy hates everybody, gay people, Jewish people, women,
Speaker 3: school shooting survivors, Beyonce. I mean, this guy is so
Speaker 3: in a hating people. He even hates MLK. I know
Speaker 3: what divide the country, but I thought the one thing
Speaker 3: we could all agree on was MLK good. And by
Speaker 3: the way, you can't just hate everyone and leave all
Speaker 3: the Asians. Okay, that's racist, I will give him. Though
Speaker 3: you don't usually hear an anti semi busting out Yiddish.
Speaker 3: It's a very woke form of hatred. So this guy's
Speaker 3: saying some pretty extreme things. Let me guess how Trump
Speaker 3: feels about him.
Speaker 8: He's been an unbelievable Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson. This is
Speaker 8: Martin Luther King on steroids. Okay, now, I told that.
Speaker 3: I told that.
Speaker 6: I told that to Mark.
Speaker 8: I said, I think you're better than Martin Luther King.
Speaker 8: I think you are Martin Luther King times two.
Speaker 3: Wait, MLKA times two. Someone checked the math on that
Speaker 3: this guy doesn't even like MLK. I think Trump just
Speaker 3: brings all black people on a scale of how MLK
Speaker 3: they are. I had a great golf caddy. I gave
Speaker 3: him one point five mlks and MLK on steroids. I
Speaker 3: kind of wish MLK was on steroids. Actually, that that
Speaker 3: really would have sped up the civil rights movement. You know,
Speaker 3: I had a dream I was gonna beat your ass. Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: have some rights, Jesus. But Matt Robinson is the perfect
Speaker 3: symbol whether a Republican party is at right now, because
Speaker 3: if you want to really be successful as a Republican
Speaker 3: you kind of have to be insane now. And we
Speaker 3: have Donald Trump to think for that. He came into
Speaker 3: politics saying crazy shit. Instead of losing, he became the
Speaker 3: president and so now his playbook is the playbook of
Speaker 3: the party. So like it or not, Trump is kind
Speaker 3: of a visionary, a trailblazer. I guess what I'm saying
Speaker 3: is Trump is MLK times three. When we come back,
Speaker 3: Choci Peretti will be joining me on the show, so
Speaker 3: we don't go away. Welcome back to Damny Show. Guest
Speaker 3: tonight is our comedian and actor. We're growing director the
Speaker 3: new film, first time female director. Please welcome Chelsea Baretti.
Speaker 3: The people, the people.
Speaker 5: Love you, the people have spoken.
Speaker 3: You're very You're very beloved.
Speaker 12: This is your vibrate Yeah, weird question. I think I
Speaker 12: saw an ad on Instagram for this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we tried to keep all guests happy. Projects. First
Speaker 3: time female director, yes, film, it's also you. Also you're
Speaker 3: also a first time female director.
Speaker 5: This is going good? Can I get the regular host?
Speaker 5: We said we want to each other look.
Speaker 3: At yeah, you know, look at us going at each
Speaker 3: other now. But something director you had a really Larry
Speaker 3: David could be enthusiasm, but my style very handmade? Was
Speaker 3: that intentional? Is that lack of budget?
Speaker 12: I'm trying to spur him to come after me because
Speaker 12: I'm a big fan.
Speaker 5: Of running is I just want to say that I really.
Speaker 3: Am, you know, I am a huge No, we never met,
Speaker 3: but you are very nice to me over the pandemic
Speaker 3: idea over over Instagram. And I was a huge fan
Speaker 3: of yours, watching your comedy specials. And I love your
Speaker 3: music album that you released a pandemic. It was about coffee.
Speaker 12: Yeah, it was a coffee concept album, one of those.
Speaker 3: Yeah wow you did during the pandemic pandemic problems.
Speaker 12: It was pre pandemic, and then when the COVID happened,
Speaker 12: I was like, why did I spend the last eight
Speaker 12: months of my life making music about coffee?
Speaker 5: What a waste?
Speaker 3: No, No, it was a funny album. I love music.
Speaker 3: And but you got a film right now. And what's
Speaker 3: interesting to me many things is that, I mean you,
Speaker 3: but you'll stand up comic. Yeah, you're starting these comedy
Speaker 3: clubs and all that right.
Speaker 5: Here in these city streets, right here on the streets.
Speaker 3: Man, when you do comedy, you're in, especially when you're
Speaker 3: starting out, you're in a bar full of like drunk
Speaker 3: people if you're lucky, sometimes above empty, if you're lucky.
Speaker 5: Usually there's a bar full of drunk men.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then and then then you moved into directing
Speaker 3: a movie. You know, how you get the that that
Speaker 3: skill set must be.
Speaker 5: It really took was decades.
Speaker 12: So if you have decades to spare, you too might
Speaker 12: be able to do that.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 12: But I wrote for TV, I wrote for Parks and
Speaker 12: rec and Amy produced this movie.
Speaker 3: So don't just say Amy like Amy, Yeah, I know
Speaker 3: you're on first name.
Speaker 12: Basis, but it would be weird if I always called
Speaker 12: her Amy Poe.
Speaker 3: This and is that is she the one who kind
Speaker 3: of like champions is? Yeah? Right, So I mean, how
Speaker 3: did how did this project come about? Because it's very meta.
Speaker 3: I don't want to like misdescribe. It's very meta kind
Speaker 3: of your first first time director directing a play in
Speaker 3: the movie the in real life, your first time female
Speaker 3: director directing the movie.
Speaker 12: I mean I was, what, that's pretty accurate, all right, Yeah,
Speaker 12: that was a good description.
Speaker 3: But what what was the you know, inspiration for this?
Speaker 12: The inspiration well, I challenged myself to write a fake
Speaker 12: excerpt of a play at UCB Theater in Los Angeles,
Speaker 12: which was a southern rural drama and it was a
Speaker 12: fun night.
Speaker 5: It was very silly.
Speaker 12: We did a really pretentious Q and A afterwards, and
Speaker 12: and then I was like, could I make this into
Speaker 12: a movie? And so that's kind of the origin story, if.
Speaker 3: You will, right, And that's that's how you started. And
Speaker 3: you know, people who don't know making movies is very hot.
Speaker 3: I mean, forget the making it, just trying to get
Speaker 3: it up and going.
Speaker 12: I tried to get Ronnie I actually tried to get
Speaker 12: him for my movie and I was told he's offer
Speaker 12: only that That's when an actor thinks they're too good audition.
Speaker 12: So I was like, whoa, whoa, this one hurts, this
Speaker 12: one hurts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I am a phone you are, yeah you are.
Speaker 3: So why didn't you make offer? How did you get
Speaker 3: Why didn't you make an offer?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: I was waiting, was good follow up question? Make the offer?
Speaker 3: I'm offul only make the off too late? Actually technical,
Speaker 3: you can reshoot. You can do reshoots, yeah, you can.
Speaker 5: What I want to offer you is the lead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well yeah, I'll take the lead.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll redo it. This is good.
Speaker 3: Okay, but so it's uh, and you debuted it last year.
Speaker 5: I debuted it, and.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that make a minor grammatical mistake.
Speaker 3: Well my three languages, I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: Did you white feminist? I don't really care.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm a minority in America, so I don't know who.
Speaker 3: I don't know who wins here if we keep going
Speaker 3: at it, I think white people, white men wait, no,
Speaker 3: white men wait. If we keep fighting, white men are
Speaker 3: going to win. So we gotta you gotta.
Speaker 2: Get on board this shot.
Speaker 3: We gotta get on board. Let's kind of boring from
Speaker 3: at the movies. Yeah, so you yeah, when do you debut.
Speaker 5: It Friday, Friday, March eight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you got into the festival, got into Tribeca. Yeah,
Speaker 3: which is hot. It's hot to get in Tribeca.
Speaker 5: The Karents just.
Speaker 3: Walk into DRYBECA has to be a good movie, no
Speaker 3: you can't.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is a hot crowd.
Speaker 3: This crowd is hot and yeah, yeah, yeah hot, a
Speaker 3: little old and uh yeah, a little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 3: I appreciate it, but let's call it, you know, and
Speaker 3: they've been waiting on in the New York range so
Speaker 3: that I really appreciate them waiting all that. That's a compliment.
Speaker 3: Thanks for being so old and waiting out. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: they love you.
Speaker 5: You're sweet street with them a tender rapport.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So Tribeca was great, That's what I know. You're understanding it.
Speaker 3: But it's hot to it's hot to get into the
Speaker 3: Tribeca Film Festival.
Speaker 5: I got a fake tan for it. Yeah, very classy.
Speaker 3: And then now it's a premiering.
Speaker 5: On March eighth.
Speaker 12: Yeah, so I'm excited and I hope people enjoy it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's awesome. What was the most challenging thing you
Speaker 3: had on this on this project?
Speaker 5: Not not being able to get you in there.
Speaker 3: I really was no asking me was the biggest challenge.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love how you you named it first time female directors.
Speaker 3: Like if anybody gives a bad review, is that like,
Speaker 3: like that just sexist? Right? Yeah, it's automatic trap. Right.
Speaker 12: That's what I'm always trying to set up is some
Speaker 12: sort of infrastructure like that. But it is weird, like
Speaker 12: any title you think of, you think of the snooty
Speaker 12: reviews where they say like something like, you know, they
Speaker 12: always use the title to slam the movie. Yeah, first
Speaker 12: time female director, right, I don't know, maybe it's harder.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, well yeah, well there's no reason to slam
Speaker 3: the movie because I watched it. It was great. Thank great
Speaker 3: job by super funny, very original.
Speaker 5: Thanks. Just scanning your eyes to see if you're telling
Speaker 5: Yeah I am.
Speaker 3: It was great.
Speaker 5: It's a weird time because it's like everyone being like, oh,
Speaker 5: I love the movie. I'm like this, Yeah, you see this.
Speaker 3: Is the com That's how I know you're a comic. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because comics can't take compliments. Trust, you can't take that,
Speaker 3: you can't tell tell me a nice thing about myself.
Speaker 5: I love you.
Speaker 3: I don't believe that. I don't believe that well, you.
Speaker 12: Know what's funny is my dad loves you too. And
Speaker 12: he was like, we're at dinner and he goes, I
Speaker 12: love this comedian. He's emotionless. And the weirdest thing is,
Speaker 12: I go, is it this guy? And I pulled up
Speaker 12: a picture of you. I'm like, do you mean Rachel?
Speaker 12: Because that was the.
Speaker 5: Joke, but I guess I didn't hit No.
Speaker 3: I appreciate your dad knowing me as emotional. That's not
Speaker 3: the Asian guy. That's great, Great, mister Parreti, thanks so much. Yeah, well, Chelsea,
Speaker 3: thanks so much for be on the show man. I
Speaker 3: can't wait. This thing is coming out Roku Channel Match eighth,
Speaker 3: please take it. Give you a watch. Chelsea Paradi. Everybody,
Speaker 3: she's awesome. Well then let's take a quick break, but
Speaker 3: we'll be right back off of it. Right, that's us
Speaker 3: over tonight now here.
Speaker 5: It is your.
Speaker 8: Moment of that, but we have this is a room
Speaker 8: chalk full of incredible talented people, like some of the
Speaker 8: guys standing right in front of me. Right, big big futures,
Speaker 8: big fat, beautiful futures. Oh, I'd love to be your age.
Speaker 8: I'd tell you a lot of money to be your age.
Speaker 3: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 3: searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2: Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central
Speaker 2: on Comedy Central, and streamful episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
Speaker 1: This has been a Comedy Central podcast.
Speaker 3: Yew