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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for refusing to join the

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Speaker 1: military and ending my family's legacy?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, Nick, is that is that a thing

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Speaker 2: in the military, ending someone's legacy?

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Speaker 3: I mean, ending the legacy of of never joining, or

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Speaker 3: that everyone before you had joined and you're the asshole

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Speaker 3: he didn't yeh, yeah, didn't, right right. I mean there's

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Speaker 3: a little bit of social pressure, I guess, but I

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Speaker 3: think it's like more it's less of the social pressure

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Speaker 3: of like, oh, well, so and so didn't have kids,

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Speaker 3: or so and so never got married, like maybe twenty

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Speaker 3: thirty years ago, like that was a thing, But now

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Speaker 3: I think it's like, I don't know, joining the military

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Speaker 3: is a lot different now than it was when I,

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Speaker 3: you know, back in two thousand and seven, when I

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Speaker 3: joined the good old days in days man, my space, Baby,

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Speaker 3: let's go Tom.

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Speaker 1: You know, he was right there with us.

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Speaker 3: He did it right, He did it right, fucked up.

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Speaker 3: He had to like go and ask everyone to be friends.

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Speaker 3: Tom just like made it to where you were a

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Speaker 3: friend when you signed up exactly. I mean, he knew

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Speaker 3: sliding the d MS back then was important. He's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm just going to be everyone.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he really he really started it all. He

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Speaker 2: started it all.

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Speaker 4: Where is Tom now, probably on an island.

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Speaker 2: With with all of the girls. He slipped the d.

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Speaker 2: He's got his horror of MySpace ladies.

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Speaker 3: I did it right, man. You could like put like

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Speaker 3: a I was like, you know, like death metal back then,

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Speaker 3: like tray you and ship. You could like have a

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Speaker 3: song on like your main page, right and you could

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Speaker 3: like it was wild, dude. People watching this ship don't

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Speaker 3: even know what we're talking about. Man.

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Speaker 2: So no, no, no, no, no, our audience does not

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Speaker 2: know MySpace at all. No, no, primarily no, I didn't

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Speaker 2: have a MySpace space, but I also missed it.

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty three, y'all were like seven when I was

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Speaker 3: my Space.

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Speaker 2: My Space was still kicking though, in like two thousand

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Speaker 2: and nine and nine, that's when I joined Facebook. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 2: my face was like still cut. Yeah, but we joined

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Speaker 2: the cooler version of my space, Facebook, which is ancient now.

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Speaker 3: That didn't you guys have to have like a college

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Speaker 3: email addrests at first to join Facebook.

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Speaker 2: That was the thing I was in middle Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: were that early to face. That was like two thousand

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Speaker 2: and six Facebook.

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Speaker 3: All right, all right, I'm dating myself man, I'm fined.

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Speaker 4: All right, let's sign into the story.

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Speaker 1: So my eighteen female family has a tradition that goes

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Speaker 1: back five generations, and that is the oldest of my

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Speaker 1: family joins the military. Only the four main branches. My

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Speaker 1: mom was in the Army and retired as a major.

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Speaker 1: My grandpa was in the Air Force and retired as

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Speaker 1: a colonel. I believe my great grandpa was in the Navy,

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Speaker 1: My great grandfather was in a marine, and my great

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Speaker 1: great great grandfather was also marine.

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Speaker 2: Dude, he comes back three generations of greats.

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Speaker 4: That's a lot.

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Speaker 3: I didn't think you can find that on ancestry dot com.

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Speaker 1: Man, Like, was the military even invented? Yeah, we're of

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Speaker 1: eighteen twelve over here.

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Speaker 2: I also like wonder which side are we on if

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Speaker 2: we're going back to Civil War era?

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Speaker 3: Great?

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Speaker 4: Like, yeah, what lines are we on?

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Speaker 2: What lines are we on?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 2: And also like if he doesn't join, Like when when

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Speaker 2: they look back, is are they just going to say, like,

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Speaker 2: we are a great great and then not great grandfather

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Speaker 2: and then great great? Like are they going to strip

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Speaker 2: him to the title of great because he didn't join

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Speaker 2: the wasn't great anymore? It wasn't great anymore. You only

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Speaker 2: does you only get the title of great if you

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Speaker 2: join the military.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's like in baseball, right like if you

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Speaker 3: if you're going to mess up, you get an asterisk

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Speaker 3: that's your name, right, so that person, ye forever asteris.

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Speaker 2: The prince not Great joined the military.

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Speaker 3: No where it says like suffix, like junior or like

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Speaker 3: the third, it's just asterisk.

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Speaker 4: Didn't make the cut.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I don't know if it's a real thing,

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Speaker 3: but but it should be. I'm I'm pro shaming for

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Speaker 3: something like that, right, Like, let's go back to my space.

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Speaker 3: Let's go back to shaming's.

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Speaker 4: Let's throw all over back.

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Speaker 1: So my family is very proud of this fact and

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Speaker 1: has been throwing this in my face since I was

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Speaker 1: fresh out the cooter. That is a direct quote. Interesting,

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Speaker 1: with the school year coming to an end. I turned

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Speaker 1: eighteen last month, they're like, sign up.

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Speaker 2: Where's the paper is? What's the thing is that conscribing conscription?

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Speaker 2: What's it? What's the thing called? You like sign up

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Speaker 2: for the military before, but a thing where it's like

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Speaker 2: you sign up before you have to. It's like you

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Speaker 2: can like you can enlist like the pre enlisting, like you.

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Speaker 3: Could be like a half or something like that, like

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Speaker 3: before eighteen, right, like your parents can sign and then

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Speaker 3: like on your Yeah, it's weird. I mean they had

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Speaker 3: it back like when I had joined, but like.

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Speaker 2: Your parents can sign you off to the military.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you know how you can like retract

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Speaker 3: from like having parents too, you can like like right, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's like very similar.

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Speaker 2: Right, I'm glad my parents.

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Speaker 3: I mean it's it's dude, Like when I joined, like

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Speaker 3: it was in two thousand and seven, Iraq was still nuts,

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Speaker 3: Afghanistan was nuts. You like walked past the recruiter's office

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Speaker 3: and they just like brought you in and made you

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Speaker 3: sign a contract. As fucked up?

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Speaker 2: Is that what happened to you? Or did you actually?

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Speaker 3: So buddy buddy of mine really wanted to be like

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Speaker 3: a badass navy seal no ship. So he's like, Nick,

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Speaker 3: will you go with me? Because there's like rumors like

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Speaker 3: if you walked into any brands, because you know they're

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Speaker 3: like door door door, it's like Air Force, Army, Marines, Navy,

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Speaker 3: like right next to each other in a shopping mall

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Speaker 3: across America, you would just you would go in and

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Speaker 3: you would get pressured to sign right because there was

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Speaker 3: like back then, it seemed like there were quotas to

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Speaker 3: get people to join every month, right, especially like during wartime.

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Speaker 3: But now it's like shit, I hear, it's even hard

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Speaker 3: to join the military still really me, you know, you

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Speaker 3: joined the military the.

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Speaker 2: Old person that wants to come up and like I

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Speaker 2: want to give my life to my country, and they're like,

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Speaker 2: nap enough.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you got a few asterisks under your belt. You can't.

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Speaker 2: It's all about yeah.

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Speaker 3: So that's the theme of the day, the day, baby,

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Speaker 3: But no, it's funny. Actually the guy that I went

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Speaker 3: with because I was never going to join, he just

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Speaker 3: like trusted me that I wouldn't let him like hanging right,

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Speaker 3: And then he ended up never joining and I ended

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Speaker 3: up joining. I joined the Air Force. It was different.

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Speaker 3: He like got in trouble and got pulled over one time.

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Speaker 3: I think he had a long night from before and

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Speaker 3: there's like something in his cup holder you shouldn't have had,

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Speaker 3: and the cops saw it gave him like you know,

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Speaker 3: wrote him up for it. Disqualified him indefinitely. Definitely, definitely.

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Speaker 3: There's certain things you cannot have on your record. You

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Speaker 3: could have drank underage two or three times. You could

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Speaker 3: have smoked marijuana two or three times before without getting

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Speaker 3: permanently disqualified. But there's like a number of threshold that

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Speaker 3: if you go past completely disqualified him definitely.

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Speaker 4: So my man hit the high score, then.

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Speaker 3: Yoh he won that game. Dude got married with kids

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Speaker 3: and shure, you know, and he's doing good.

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Speaker 2: But I'm glad happy.

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Speaker 4: Shout out to him.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to him.

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Speaker 1: Back to the story, my mom was forcing me to

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Speaker 1: do fitness courses, buying me textbooks to help study for

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Speaker 1: the as VAB as VAB.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it's like your entrance exam, gotcha, It's

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Speaker 3: like your SATs from the military. But it's like you

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Speaker 3: know what is this? And it's like a picture of

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Speaker 3: a wrench. It's like how do you unscreen? It's like

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Speaker 3: very it's like weirdly technical, but like like common sense technical,

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Speaker 3: and it's like math and shit like that. There's like

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Speaker 3: I mean, I literally had taken like twelve, thirteen, fourteen

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Speaker 3: years ago, but I remember when I took it. I

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Speaker 3: was like, really, some.

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Speaker 2: Weird wrench is Yeah, it's like a picture of.

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Speaker 3: This because like it's supposed to test you on different

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Speaker 3: skill sets that you either inherently have or have grown

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Speaker 3: to known, and so like, are you more on the

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Speaker 3: mechanical side, electrical side, mathematical side, english, whatever?

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Speaker 2: Right, so, and if you know what wrenches, they immediately

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Speaker 2: put you on the mechanical He's got it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you like intentionally like get some shiit wrong, just

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Speaker 3: because you're like, I don't want to be a fucking nutrician.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to what is.

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Speaker 4: This a wrench or a microwave? Miwa?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Baby.

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Speaker 1: Now I have rebelled against this a while ago because sadly,

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Speaker 1: my brother passed away a few years ago and this

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Speaker 1: is really hard on my parents. So I've kind of

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Speaker 1: just been going along with this whole pushing me into

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Speaker 1: the military until now.

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Speaker 2: Wait, they lost he lost his brother brother, and they're

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Speaker 2: going to be like, hey, we're going to risk losing

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Speaker 2: the other one.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you don't want to break tradition.

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Speaker 1: Man, We don't want to break tradition. Same we're shaming today.

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Speaker 4: Putting them.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, shaming you for not shaming. Yeah, okay, you know,

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Speaker 2: and actually shaming for not shaming is probably the purest

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Speaker 2: form of shaming.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's the that's the purest of shame.

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Speaker 2: Right, that's rigorious part. That's shame squared. That's right, that's

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Speaker 2: actually odd the aspab.

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Speaker 3: But is it like is it like two negative is

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Speaker 3: a positive? So it's really not shaming?

200
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Speaker 2: Oh shit?

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Speaker 4: Is double shaming? Encouraging that question, it was like I have.

202
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Speaker 3: Like a shame and another shame, and it was like yeah.

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Speaker 2: And if you can shame well enough, you become a general.

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Speaker 3: An officer of shaming.

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Speaker 2: Of shame officer.

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Speaker 4: So fast forward to last week.

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Speaker 1: I overheard my mom talking on the phone to a

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Speaker 1: recruiter talking about my options for possibly becoming an officer.

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Speaker 4: I mean, what do we think about that?

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Speaker 3: I mean, helicopter parents are still a real thing, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like we know this, yeah, but this is a

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Speaker 2: black Hawk helicopter parent.

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Speaker 3: Vessale and ship this one. This mom is on it.

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Speaker 3: She's like, I'm buying you books, I'm getting you into berries, Like.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to call I buy you they are fifteen

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Speaker 2: you got the whole wholl nine yards and a bullet

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Speaker 2: I mean millimeters, Yeah, I mean I like that.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I came from from like a

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Speaker 3: family that was like so hands off, like do whatever

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Speaker 3: you want. I was like, guys, you know, like tell

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Speaker 3: me like some cool shit I can do, Like no,

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Speaker 3: figure it out, you know, so at least, like you know,

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Speaker 3: her mom's like helping her out right, Like, hey, I

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Speaker 3: know you don't know what the fuck you're doing, but

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Speaker 3: like let me help you, help you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, ye, shame you into the right the right path.

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Speaker 3: I mean there's some hardcore guilt going on there, man,

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Speaker 3: that's hardcore dude.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, mix of emotions for sure. It was at this

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Speaker 1: point that the realization finally hit me. I told my

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Speaker 1: mom I will not be joining a few days ago,

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Speaker 1: and a huge fight happened after that.

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Speaker 2: It was a war zone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no need to send you off, we're at We're

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Speaker 1: right here.

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Speaker 4: Arguments with mom. It can get there.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah, Mama, fuck you up, dude, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Knock you out.

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Speaker 1: But I basically wasted her time in quotes and she

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Speaker 1: called me a disappointment. But I think I have the

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Speaker 1: right to choose my destiny.

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Speaker 4: So the question is, am I the a hole?

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Speaker 2: I think you have the right to choose your own destiny?

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Speaker 4: Like I think so?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I also don't know like that, like

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Speaker 2: the family contact I feel like is important but I

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Speaker 2: think not not to the point of like not giving

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Speaker 2: you agency over your life.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you think, Nick?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I've heard the story like a million times.

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Speaker 3: It's like parents are so pumped that like their their

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Speaker 3: son or something once like doing the military does all

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Speaker 3: this shit gets prepped up and like right before they're like,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to go, dude. It is gnarly signing

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Speaker 3: on a contract for four years that you can't get

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Speaker 3: out of, knowing that you are literally just military property,

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Speaker 3: and you get told what to do, when to do it,

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Speaker 3: how to do it. So yeah, I mean I think

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Speaker 3: a lot of people back out, like at the end.

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Speaker 3: I mean a ton of people do shit. I had

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Speaker 3: a ton of buddies like, oh man, I would love

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Speaker 3: to join. Yeah, but you would have right, Like you know.

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Speaker 1: It's like the military version of like oh man, I

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Speaker 1: thought of uber like two thousand and two, oh.

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Speaker 3: Man, Like yo, dudes like ira, motherfucker, I just four

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Speaker 3: years and got out. So I is old buddies that

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Speaker 3: have been in like thirteen fourteen years.

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Speaker 2: So what's the difference in like mindset between someone who

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Speaker 2: does four years and gets out and like the people

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Speaker 2: that are like in it for like fourteen years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird. Well, like the sales pitch is like

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Speaker 3: retire at thirty eight, because if you join at eighteen,

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Speaker 3: you do twenty years. That's your like naxt term in

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Speaker 3: which you get full benefits for like life, right, So

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Speaker 3: that's the sales pitch is like join in retirement, but

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Speaker 3: like you would retire making like thirty five hundred a month,

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Speaker 3: she'd still need to get a job technically, especially when

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Speaker 3: that's probably like a third of your pay by the

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Speaker 3: time you hit twenty years. It's weird, dude, Yeah, it's not.

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Speaker 3: I mean I got out right away because I was

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Speaker 3: like I joined for like a legitimate purpose, like for

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Speaker 3: a reason, and then got out for that same reason.

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Speaker 3: And then my boys who joined are just like they

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Speaker 3: go in for a four year, they re enlist at

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Speaker 3: that reenlistment at like eight years, they're like, fuck, I'm

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Speaker 3: almost halfway there. And then you know, it's just like

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Speaker 3: all these things start start going and then you forget

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Speaker 3: like when you get out, like there's no assistance. They

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Speaker 3: really don't. When I was getting out, I didn't do shit,

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Speaker 3: Like here's like a mock resume, here's like a VA

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Speaker 3: center for some medical shit if you need it. Like

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Speaker 3: nothing about school, so like, yeah, trans, you're no longer

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Speaker 3: their their property, right so right, yeah yeah, I mean yeah,

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Speaker 3: I work with a ton of veterans, so you know

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Speaker 3: it's just the same story.

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Speaker 2: So overall, should you join the military? Yes or no?

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Speaker 3: Dude? I have a nephew and de niece. I would

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Speaker 3: hands down have them both go. I'd be like, go

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Speaker 3: in do four years? Get the fuck out? Like you

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Speaker 3: become an adult. You learn discipline, you know hard work,

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Speaker 3: you know how to work in a team, you know

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Speaker 3: how to work leading a team. Like there's all these

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Speaker 3: skill sets that you learn that I think after four

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Speaker 3: years is really like irrelevant, right, there's no more gaining

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Speaker 3: after four years, I feel personally, But yeah, they do

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Speaker 3: four get the fuck out. Use your jib. I mean

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Speaker 3: they paid for my law school, Like okay, so I

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Speaker 3: have an undergrad degree and a lot of degree all

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Speaker 3: paid for to the VA.

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Speaker 2: Like okay, this episode brought to you by the US

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Speaker 2: Air Force.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to the skies, baby, Yes, to the moon

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Speaker 1: and back.

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Speaker 5: I think that I think.

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Speaker 3: The slogan is like blue like like I don't like

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Speaker 3: see blue out wit?

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Speaker 2: Did you fly the Air Force?

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Speaker 3: No, but like do you go out and some girls, oh,

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Speaker 3: what are you doing on the Air Force? Oh? Do

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Speaker 3: you fly? And you're like sure, Sure, I was.

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Speaker 2: I was an MP A Delta.

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Speaker 3: That was another American Let's go come on, okay, Americas

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Speaker 3: brand deal, American sponsored by no. I was an MP

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Speaker 3: in and then I did combat missions when I was

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Speaker 3: deployed with the Army Military Police.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: Pretend to military installation is like a little town. So

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Speaker 3: like if you drive around wherever you guys are friendly.

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Speaker 3: I live on Austin, So if I'm driving on the

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Speaker 3: street and I see a cop, like the only difference

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Speaker 3: between an MP and a cop is that the MP

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Speaker 3: is strictly on a military base, still placing the population,

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Speaker 3: still going to shopliftings and DVS and medical emergencies. Same shit,

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Speaker 3: same shit, just different like playground, different town.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, wait, are the so like the soldiers are

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Speaker 2: still like shoplifting and stuff. Don't they have like everything

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Speaker 2: paid for?

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Speaker 3: Well, you got to think too. You have like spouses

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Speaker 3: on base or non military, and then spouses in their

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Speaker 3: children on base who are non military, right, so you

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Speaker 3: have a big conglomerate of like non military people on

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Speaker 3: a military base, and then you have visitors who are

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Speaker 3: non military, right like, Yeah, and a lot of the.

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Speaker 5: People who join the military are not like the most

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Speaker 5: savvy or the most like, you know, up upstanding individually,

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Speaker 5: they typically come maybe not them, but they're friends too, Right,

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Speaker 5: Why do you join the military?

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Speaker 3: Couldn't pay for school? Grew up in a shitty part

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Speaker 3: of this town. I grew up in fucking where out

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Speaker 3: where else, like Nebraska? Right, Like, so you joined the military,

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Speaker 3: and you can't tell me that you don't have like

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Speaker 3: some friends that come on base, and those friends from

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Speaker 3: like the you know, back where you're from, do some

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Speaker 3: ignorant stuff, you know, but you would be surprised some

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Speaker 3: military people have caught people's shoplifting. You're like, what the fuck, dude,

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Speaker 3: what do you.

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Speaker 2: Like, Jerry? What are you doing there?

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Speaker 3: Much?

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Speaker 2: All right? I think that's a that's a wrap for

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Speaker 2: this episode.