WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: I Need Feedback From My Partner

0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:04.399
<v Speaker 1>If you would like to have us answer your questions.

0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:07.920
<v Speaker 1>If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:14.320
<v Speaker 1>a terrible threatful guess what you've got? Decisions All right, y'all.

0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:18.759
<v Speaker 2>This week we are talking giving feedback to your partner,

0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:25.280
<v Speaker 2>accepting honest feedback, working through it, how to be honest.

0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:26.040
<v Speaker 3>We're doing a.

0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Lot of things, so let's get right in to the letter. Hi, ladies,

0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:34.080
<v Speaker 2>love you both, and this podcast has helped me become

0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:37.960
<v Speaker 2>more confident in dating and in the bedroom. I'm a

0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:41.720
<v Speaker 2>forty four year old single mo. I recently ended a

0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:46.199
<v Speaker 2>twenty two year relationship about two years ago. In my

0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:49.800
<v Speaker 2>previous relationship, I never had a problem making my partner

0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:54.000
<v Speaker 2>come from oral sex, but I haven't since then. I've

0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:57.480
<v Speaker 2>been dating for two years and have had seven partners.

0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:01.480
<v Speaker 2>Most will stop you sis. Most will stop me five

0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.880
<v Speaker 2>minutes in for sex. I can't tell if they stop

0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.360
<v Speaker 2>me because it's great and they don't want to finish early,

0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:10.039
<v Speaker 2>or if they think it's terrible and just want it

0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:13.280
<v Speaker 2>to stop. One of my partners seems to love it,

0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:16.000
<v Speaker 2>and when we're high, I've spent as long as two

0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:20.000
<v Speaker 2>hours down there. I am a giver and enjoy oral sex,

0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:22.320
<v Speaker 2>so I didn't even realize I was down there that long.

0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.959
<v Speaker 2>He's now requesting that two hour head every time. He's

0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.480
<v Speaker 2>a brutally honest person, so I don't think he would

0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.360
<v Speaker 2>lie about enjoying it. But I could go down on

0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.760
<v Speaker 2>him for thirty minutes and he still won't finish. Am

0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.360
<v Speaker 2>I boring when I give head? My ex had me

0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:42.520
<v Speaker 2>super insecure about sex. I've asked for feedback from others

0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.800
<v Speaker 2>and I don't get much. I love giving head so much,

0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:48.000
<v Speaker 2>but I want to know that the man is actually

0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:52.360
<v Speaker 2>enjoying it. Here are her questions, question number one, do

0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:56.480
<v Speaker 2>you have any good oral sex tips? And question number two,

0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:59.560
<v Speaker 2>what's the best way to ask for feedback to make

0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.320
<v Speaker 2>the other person feel comfortable enough to be honest with you.

0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:05.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm still trying to figure out this whole dating thing.

0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:11.280
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, ladies. So let's actually start with let's end

0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:13.959
<v Speaker 2>with good oral sex tips. Let's start with the problem

0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:18.040
<v Speaker 2>at hand is that she wants feedback from her partners

0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.840
<v Speaker 2>because she's insecure now about feeling if she's even doing

0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:22.440
<v Speaker 2>a good job.

0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.440
<v Speaker 4>I feel like if they are rushing you to stop,

0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:25.600
<v Speaker 4>then it probably ain't that.

0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.840
<v Speaker 3>Good because I'm not gonna lie I do I'm tired

0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:29.520
<v Speaker 3>of a second dady.

0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, I do that with head, Like if I don't

0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.320
<v Speaker 2>really feel like it's doing much down there, one, I

0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:36.680
<v Speaker 2>want to just get fucked.

0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.639
<v Speaker 4>But like I literally have been exhausted because a dude

0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:43.280
<v Speaker 4>doesn't want me to stop. That's how I know I

0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:46.200
<v Speaker 4>feel like somethings offul Well, Well, of course you're twenty

0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:47.080
<v Speaker 4>two years you figured.

0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:48.400
<v Speaker 3>It's well, there's a difference there.

0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:52.480
<v Speaker 2>You were saying, someone keeping you down there lets you

0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:53.919
<v Speaker 2>know that you're doing a good job.

0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:55.800
<v Speaker 3>She is on the flip side.

0:02:56.000 --> 0:03:01.760
<v Speaker 2>She feels like a man coming kind of solidifies it

0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:03.800
<v Speaker 2>to her that it's good, right because she also made

0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:06.240
<v Speaker 2>the fast Well, she has someone, Well, she has someone

0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:08.840
<v Speaker 2>that she's down there for two hours and he's not

0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:10.080
<v Speaker 2>coming even after thirty minutes.

0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't think that means it's bad either, right, Well,

0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:17.280
<v Speaker 3>in her mind's it's a lot of edging.

0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.840
<v Speaker 4>Men love to keep sext going or a moment going.

0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.360
<v Speaker 4>I've literally had my man tell me things about how

0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.959
<v Speaker 4>well if I comment's over, you know, like men want

0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.400
<v Speaker 4>to enjoy sex too, and if you're the type of

0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.760
<v Speaker 4>person that can sect it for two hours. Fuck, if

0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:35.640
<v Speaker 4>they can't hold themselves back, they probably will. What I

0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.560
<v Speaker 4>do think, though, is there may be some maybe you're going.

0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.800
<v Speaker 4>I typically find head and kissing or one in the

0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:45.840
<v Speaker 4>same when they're not done right. It's either too fast.

0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:48.160
<v Speaker 4>That's generally when kissing is bad for me. And I'm

0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:51.160
<v Speaker 4>like trying to slow someone down. Can't stand a bitch

0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.240
<v Speaker 4>that's going too fast. Slow is never really that bad

0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.200
<v Speaker 4>because you can always work up to it. But too

0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:01.640
<v Speaker 4>fast or a little like too slow sometimes too like

0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.520
<v Speaker 4>if a girl's trying to give you all this spit

0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.160
<v Speaker 4>and trying to do all this theatrics, it's like, bro,

0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:08.560
<v Speaker 4>now I's going down is ass correct?

0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.960
<v Speaker 3>Like Nigga's calm down field up to that shit? Okay.

0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.720
<v Speaker 4>And I think that sloppy toppy idea is something women

0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:17.039
<v Speaker 4>think they should be doing when really like, there should

0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:19.160
<v Speaker 4>be an art to sucking dick and trying to be

0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.920
<v Speaker 4>carean is not supposed to happen to minutes time.

0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:26.200
<v Speaker 2>I only disagree here because I think it depends on

0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:26.760
<v Speaker 2>your partner.

0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:29.280
<v Speaker 4>But she said out of seven five, they're always trying

0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:30.360
<v Speaker 4>to stop her at five minutes.

0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:32.360
<v Speaker 3>That's not good. No, but that's what But we don't

0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:33.560
<v Speaker 3>know if she's being sloppy.

0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.320
<v Speaker 2>So I'm just saying, even in terms of like this

0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:41.320
<v Speaker 2>having these multiple partners, if she's also saying she's asked

0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:43.760
<v Speaker 2>them and she they make it seem like she's doing

0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.799
<v Speaker 2>a good job, she's just insecure at it. I think

0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:50.080
<v Speaker 2>then what you should be asking your partners is not

0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:54.599
<v Speaker 2>how good you're doing at something sexually, but what they enjoy,

0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.600
<v Speaker 2>so that you can focus on what things they like.

0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:00.479
<v Speaker 3>Some men may like it sloppy, some men may like

0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:00.919
<v Speaker 3>it slow.

0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.320
<v Speaker 2>I think the way to actually get out of your

0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:06.240
<v Speaker 2>head about whether you're doing a good job or not,

0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.360
<v Speaker 2>especially if you have multiple partners, don't think that one

0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:11.920
<v Speaker 2>dick sucks fits all. I think that you should talk

0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.520
<v Speaker 2>to each partner and just be like, hey, when you

0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:18.880
<v Speaker 2>get ahead, what things do you really like? Because like

0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:22.440
<v Speaker 2>when I have oral sex, I really like fingers. A

0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:24.680
<v Speaker 2>lot of women apparently do not like fingers, to where

0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:27.200
<v Speaker 2>I find myself asking niggas to finger me.

0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:28.480
<v Speaker 3>But it's because I like penetration.

0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.520
<v Speaker 2>So because there's such a gambit of different ways we

0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:35.160
<v Speaker 2>all enjoy sex sex, I think it's not about you

0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:37.960
<v Speaker 2>leaning into you being insecure as to whether they like

0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.000
<v Speaker 2>it or not. I think if you're gonna casually have

0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:43.640
<v Speaker 2>sex with multiple people, have those individual conversations with them

0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:45.640
<v Speaker 2>and actually ask what they like.

0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:47.040
<v Speaker 3>This is a the answer.

0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:51.159
<v Speaker 4>But also, bro, I'm giving them even people are gonna

0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:52.200
<v Speaker 4>let you know if you suck tack.

0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:52.599
<v Speaker 3>Amazing.

0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:55.640
<v Speaker 2>No, but that's the thing to me. If your insecurity

0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:57.680
<v Speaker 2>is whether you feel like you're doing a good job

0:05:57.760 --> 0:05:58.600
<v Speaker 2>or not, and you.

0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:00.800
<v Speaker 4>Feel into a podcast, she feels like she can't s

0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:01.800
<v Speaker 4>a good different reason.

0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:04.279
<v Speaker 2>So I'm giving I'm giving her advice that I actually

0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.720
<v Speaker 2>think works here. So let me let me again. I'll

0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.160
<v Speaker 2>break it down her. Her thing is she's insecure about

0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:11.440
<v Speaker 2>whether she's doing a good job or not.

0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:13.360
<v Speaker 3>I know what you're saying, and then would not.

0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.080
<v Speaker 2>Tell you you're awful.

0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:16.880
<v Speaker 3>That's why I just want what I'm saying. She the

0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:21.159
<v Speaker 3>guest that she has, like, why are we lying right now?

0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm not lying. Of course you should ask.

0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.880
<v Speaker 4>But if she feels like she's doing something wrong, seven

0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.839
<v Speaker 4>men are making you feel like, Bro, that's enough of

0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:29.840
<v Speaker 4>a ratio to know it.

0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:34.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh, this probably ain't it, So I think I'm sorry.

0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:35.800
<v Speaker 3>You could give your advice I have.

0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.159
<v Speaker 2>My advice is to ask each one of them, what

0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:42.000
<v Speaker 2>do you enjoy in terms of head and then focus

0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.320
<v Speaker 2>on you doing the things that you know they're asking

0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:44.960
<v Speaker 2>for and that they like.

0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:47.800
<v Speaker 4>If you could name the last five guys who can

0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:49.680
<v Speaker 4>would have any of them told them you were good?

0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:51.960
<v Speaker 4>Have what have any of them said you were good?

0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.320
<v Speaker 4>I'm not asking they don't just offer that. No, that's

0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:56.719
<v Speaker 4>not something that men just offer.

0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:00.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean I have something, I have something that like

0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.440
<v Speaker 2>let me know years later, damn the ship was good.

0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.280
<v Speaker 3>But I'm not asking for a dick sucking rate. You're

0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.680
<v Speaker 3>telling me, am I like the only one I get you.

0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:11.880
<v Speaker 4>I've you know, pussy and a woman told me in

0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.200
<v Speaker 4>the middle of it. Man have told me like are

0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:17.120
<v Speaker 4>we not talking in the middle right after? That was

0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:17.920
<v Speaker 4>amazing me too.

0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:19.120
<v Speaker 3>That's That's what I'm experiening.

0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.600
<v Speaker 2>But but if someone telling me that was amazing, nigga,

0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:24.160
<v Speaker 2>I h your ass, I sucked your dick.

0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:25.160
<v Speaker 3>We brought toys out.

0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:28.400
<v Speaker 2>There's so many things like yes, the overall sexual experience

0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:31.480
<v Speaker 2>I've had niggas when they come like, wow, that was amazing.

0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Do I sit here and be like, so did you

0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:35.840
<v Speaker 2>like how I wrote it? Or I ain't write it?

0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:38.119
<v Speaker 3>But did you. Did you like how I sucked your nipple?

0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:38.880
<v Speaker 3>Did you like the head?

0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:41.680
<v Speaker 2>Did you I'm not doing an itemized checklist at what

0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:42.680
<v Speaker 2>made something amazing.

0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:45.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna say this, being good in bed is something

0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:47.960
<v Speaker 4>someone will let you know, right, But being good in

0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:49.640
<v Speaker 4>bed is not just one sex act.

0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, this is specific to the head. So yes, I've

0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.000
<v Speaker 2>been told by many people the last five, the last ten,

0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.720
<v Speaker 2>the last one hundred, how great I am in the bed.

0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:00.400
<v Speaker 2>But what I'm saying is there's a lot of things

0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:01.280
<v Speaker 2>that add.

0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:02.720
<v Speaker 3>Up to your overall score.

0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:05.880
<v Speaker 2>She is specifically leaning into head, which is why she

0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:07.040
<v Speaker 2>also asks for oralton.

0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.360
<v Speaker 4>I'm just saying, if you have the feeling, I do

0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.720
<v Speaker 4>believe she's probably you know, when someone's enjoying the fuck

0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:17.200
<v Speaker 4>out of some shit, Like you're asking the question but

0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:20.080
<v Speaker 4>you kind of know the answer. So I'm just saying,

0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.360
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to like front bro. When someone's really

0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:25.800
<v Speaker 4>good at something, you fucking know. So I think probably

0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:28.360
<v Speaker 4>when I started to mention the fast thing, it was

0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:31.480
<v Speaker 4>purposefully because there are a lot of things that women

0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:35.320
<v Speaker 4>do during oral sex that aren't necessarily as exciting. One

0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:38.000
<v Speaker 4>that I've heard across the board is when they're getting

0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:41.360
<v Speaker 4>too wild, too crazy, or it's too sloppy. It has

0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:44.560
<v Speaker 4>to be some sort of a build up. And if

0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:47.719
<v Speaker 4>you're having sex to me with someone new, asking them

0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:50.160
<v Speaker 4>what they like given, I think we all should be

0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:53.680
<v Speaker 4>doing that men as well. But there are certain things

0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:58.960
<v Speaker 4>within sucking dick that I could see being in turnoff.

0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:02.880
<v Speaker 4>Now with the help of Twitter and all this shit,

0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:07.240
<v Speaker 4>we're seeing some of the craziest right, it's looking like crazy,

0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:09.560
<v Speaker 4>it's all over your eyes, like we know, super nasty,

0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:12.200
<v Speaker 4>they love it, we get it. But I have definitely

0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:14.560
<v Speaker 4>heard from n bitches be leading with that and be like, god, damn,

0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:17.439
<v Speaker 4>what the fuck talking about good dick.

0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:18.120
<v Speaker 3>Suckingd tips.

0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:24.600
<v Speaker 4>Number one compliment I've received is teasing licking. The sensation

0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:28.040
<v Speaker 4>of licking from the shaft to the tip, literally just

0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:33.079
<v Speaker 4>your tongue like a lollipop. Eye contact is really really important.

0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:38.360
<v Speaker 4>And making sure that you're not just keeping your head

0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.640
<v Speaker 4>down there, right, dorees a mic, talk it to the

0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:42.160
<v Speaker 4>mic girl.

0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:43.000
<v Speaker 3>Okay, let me give a lot tip.

0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:45.480
<v Speaker 4>You're not just keeping your head down. We got bitches

0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.079
<v Speaker 4>on Patreon pan for this. If you're keeping your head down,

0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:51.200
<v Speaker 4>they're only getting one sensation of your mouth. You actually

0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.640
<v Speaker 4>have to turn your mouth, use your head even if

0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.200
<v Speaker 4>they don't like hands. That'll help you with your posture.

0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.360
<v Speaker 4>But sometimes it can feel really boring if you're just

0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:02.960
<v Speaker 4>doing this unbobbing motion. There should be more dynamic shit

0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:04.960
<v Speaker 4>going on during head. The same with men, which is

0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:08.880
<v Speaker 4>why you like fingers right, using your lips, using your tongue,

0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.280
<v Speaker 4>all of it making noise. Like there's so many different

0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.160
<v Speaker 4>things that are beyond the actual motion of sucking dick.

0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:23.760
<v Speaker 4>But like here, if you're gonna do this, make it perform.

0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:27.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think one of the biggest and why

0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.320
<v Speaker 2>I picked this letter, one of the hardest things I

0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:33.160
<v Speaker 2>think for people is to tell their partner or a

0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:36.240
<v Speaker 2>lover that something in the bedroom just don't feel good.

0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.720
<v Speaker 2>I think you don't want to bring out an insecurity

0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:42.880
<v Speaker 2>with someone, like if a man is down there eating

0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:47.120
<v Speaker 2>your pussy and is eating it. Yeah, some woman may

0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.360
<v Speaker 2>not be able to or don't know how to tell

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.880
<v Speaker 2>their partner, hey it hurts, or that doesn't feel good,

0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:55.160
<v Speaker 2>or I don't even really want you down there because

0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:57.240
<v Speaker 2>it ain't doing nothing for me. I think that's a

0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:00.520
<v Speaker 2>difficult thing for people to communicate, and I want to

0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:04.480
<v Speaker 2>ask both of you, how a time or how you've

0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:07.960
<v Speaker 2>communicated that you didn't like something in the bedroom. I

0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:13.920
<v Speaker 2>guess I'll start there was in my last relationship, I'm claustrophobic.

0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:17.319
<v Speaker 2>He used to like to do this pillowcase thing where

0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:19.920
<v Speaker 2>he put my head in a pillowcase and do like

0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.800
<v Speaker 2>this little role playing thing. And I literally had to

0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:26.719
<v Speaker 2>tell him how in that moment it took me out

0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:30.720
<v Speaker 2>of enjoying the sex because I'm either thinking about my breath,

0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm not really in it, and I'm claustrophobic, and I

0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.200
<v Speaker 2>like it was something that I know he really liked doing,

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was just like, listen, I know we've done

0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.680
<v Speaker 2>this a couple of times now, I really don't like

0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.160
<v Speaker 2>when you do it. And we just kind of got

0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:47.040
<v Speaker 2>to have that conversation. Luckily, it wasn't the head or

0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:50.240
<v Speaker 2>the dick or anything else. It was kind of another act,

0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:52.320
<v Speaker 2>but it was something that I brought up to him

0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:55.880
<v Speaker 2>in a regular setting, not while we were in the bedroom.

0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:57.640
<v Speaker 3>I didn't tell him to stop in the moment.

0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I didn't ruin the moment, but I let him know

0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.040
<v Speaker 2>to the fact, like, hey, I really don't want to

0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:03.720
<v Speaker 2>do that anymore. And I might have told him like

0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.320
<v Speaker 2>the next morning, like while we were drinking coffee, like

0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:07.120
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:08.640
<v Speaker 3>We did that. Let that be the last time.

0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:12.800
<v Speaker 2>How have y'all communicated something and how did your partner

0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:14.840
<v Speaker 2>react when you told them that you weren't enjoying something?

0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.120
<v Speaker 5>Well, I mean, I'm gonna start off. I have started

0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.360
<v Speaker 5>off in the past just by saying like, hey, like

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:23.520
<v Speaker 5>first set the table the right way. I don't want

0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 5>you to be offended by this. I think everything you're

0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.520
<v Speaker 5>doing is great, but I just want you to help.

0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:29.560
<v Speaker 5>I just want you to consider something. I think that

0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:32.000
<v Speaker 5>we could take things to another level if we try

0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:35.520
<v Speaker 5>doing this. Like I've told somebody before, like I would

0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.480
<v Speaker 5>love for you to like put your hands on me

0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.679
<v Speaker 5>in certain places. It does something for me. It's something

0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.680
<v Speaker 5>that you don't do, you know, like put your hand

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.120
<v Speaker 5>on the back of my neck, like put your hand

0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:45.280
<v Speaker 5>around my ankle, you know what I mean. I mean ankle, wrist,

0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:46.160
<v Speaker 5>you know, think.

0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:51.280
<v Speaker 3>Hey, your legs in the air wall. I get that.

0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, So I like that because you actually didn't

0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:57.560
<v Speaker 2>tell her something she was doing bad stuff.

0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:59.880
<v Speaker 3>You just said you told her something she wasn't doing

0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:01.560
<v Speaker 3>that would make it.

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:03.760
<v Speaker 5>Would encouragement ego with people.

0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:07.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, is there something that you've experienced that didn't

0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:09.360
<v Speaker 2>feel good at all that you had to communicate to

0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:10.079
<v Speaker 2>a partner.

0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:12.200
<v Speaker 3>I ain't gonna lie.

0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:14.160
<v Speaker 5>I probably just dubbed the whole thing.

0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.440
<v Speaker 3>Really, Oh so you just out here not communicating.

0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:21.400
<v Speaker 4>Probably if I'm not seeing more like of us together,

0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm good.

0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:24.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm not bringing it up. You know your ship mad.

0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:26.920
<v Speaker 3>Here's the thing. Something's bad.

0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:32.520
<v Speaker 4>I might stop it if something's mid, which is how

0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:33.719
<v Speaker 4>you want to improve it.

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:35.800
<v Speaker 3>I feel like from hearing this.

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:38.880
<v Speaker 4>This head is mid. Okay, I'm coming back, but it's

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.840
<v Speaker 4>not great. So something being mid, I'm gonna stay.

0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:43.720
<v Speaker 5>Something I want to say to when it comes, Like

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.520
<v Speaker 5>all our dicks don't work the same? You feel me

0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:51.080
<v Speaker 5>so like agreed, different the head, different sensitivities, the ball.

0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.520
<v Speaker 5>You know what type of history he had before you

0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.080
<v Speaker 5>got here. You know he might not finish off of

0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.480
<v Speaker 5>head like he might enjoy it a lot. But it's

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:01.160
<v Speaker 5>just like this the finale.

0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:05.040
<v Speaker 4>There's a something point the point besides the coming. It's

0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:07.160
<v Speaker 4>definitely not the finale. But I want people to keep

0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:10.200
<v Speaker 4>in mind, specifically women with their insecurities around suckond dig

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.959
<v Speaker 4>if you're doing something and you're not getting a reaction,

0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:18.480
<v Speaker 4>maybe try something else. You should be listening their breath. Also,

0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:21.880
<v Speaker 4>the dick gets harder, you feel it getting softer. That

0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.320
<v Speaker 4>doesn't mean let me keep doing what I'm doing that

0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.160
<v Speaker 4>doesn't work. It might mean he's off for a second

0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:31.400
<v Speaker 4>and try something else. Like it's talking to you. Dick

0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.560
<v Speaker 4>is so much easier to suck than eating a pussy

0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:38.920
<v Speaker 4>because it tells you they already it really do.

0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:42.720
<v Speaker 3>It talks to you, and when it thing, it rocks solid.

0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:44.640
<v Speaker 4>I'd be like, bro, the last time my man got

0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:46.120
<v Speaker 4>soft when I was sucking his dick, I was so

0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:49.840
<v Speaker 4>insecure and he was like, baby, you can't see behind you.

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 3>I look behind me.

0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.320
<v Speaker 4>Nina's sitting there with a toy, and.

0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:56.800
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, why did you say anything? He's like, I

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:57.080
<v Speaker 3>know you.

0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 4>I didn't want to ruin a moment like she's trying

0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:01.280
<v Speaker 4>to play to like they woke up.

0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.440
<v Speaker 2>I think that's interesting that you brought that up too,

0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:08.760
<v Speaker 2>Like we we often think about the physical of sex

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:14.640
<v Speaker 2>and not how psychological sex is. So he could not

0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:17.480
<v Speaker 2>be coming because his mind is elsewhere. Maybe it's on

0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.560
<v Speaker 2>a project from work. Maybe it's the fact that he

0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:22.200
<v Speaker 2>got to take his kids this weekend because it's his

0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 2>weekend to have them. Maybe it's damn or you know

0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:29.920
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Like his mind maybe in the moment.

0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:30.440
<v Speaker 3>Is just not there.

0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.360
<v Speaker 2>And I do like what you said too, like there

0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.520
<v Speaker 2>that that maybe that's not just the finale for him.

0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 3>But also understand.

0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 2>That men, which is where I'm working on the two ladies,

0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.960
<v Speaker 2>the finale or enjoyment of sex for men is not

0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:47.920
<v Speaker 2>dictated upon whether they come or not.

0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 3>Things can feel really good for a man and they

0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:51.520
<v Speaker 3>not come.

0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:56.480
<v Speaker 2>There's semen retention, there's facts that maybe some men just

0:15:56.560 --> 0:16:00.280
<v Speaker 2>don't come, but they enjoyed the entire act and don't come.

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.560
<v Speaker 4>And a lot of two with the male orgasm during

0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:05.960
<v Speaker 4>a blowjob, it's either like rhythmic, doing the same rhythm

0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:06.720
<v Speaker 4>that gets in there.

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 3>They get us tired, bitch, I'll I'm sorry.

0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:12.240
<v Speaker 2>I know you was about to come, but baby, I

0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.640
<v Speaker 2>couldn't do it no more like you.

0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:16.920
<v Speaker 3>Feel me, you feel me, maybe no one will be

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 3>losing it TI.

0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.520
<v Speaker 4>I mean, like girl, I've be having an elbow my

0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:22.600
<v Speaker 4>hands up and I'm getting tired and I leaned on

0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:23.800
<v Speaker 4>one elbow on the leg and.

0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:30.160
<v Speaker 3>Let I mean you are not close.

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:32.640
<v Speaker 2>I think that's what it is. I think in terms

0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:37.680
<v Speaker 2>of our sensitive our insecurities around dick sucking, and this

0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 2>is for men and women, I think we need to

0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:45.920
<v Speaker 2>lean into just not science, but knowing that you know

0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.960
<v Speaker 2>him coming is not the only telling factor as to

0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.440
<v Speaker 2>whether he enjoyed it or not. But kind of like

0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:57.040
<v Speaker 2>you Wolf said about the sensitivity one one dick suck

0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:59.960
<v Speaker 2>isn't gonna fit all, I think you do need to

0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:04.800
<v Speaker 2>communicate and test out the sensitivity of that specific partner

0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.360
<v Speaker 2>because I have some men that literally do not want

0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:09.960
<v Speaker 2>their balls touched or suck, and I have some that

0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:12.280
<v Speaker 2>will push my head straight down to the balls and

0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:14.080
<v Speaker 2>they want more attention at the balls than their dick

0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 2>at all. So I think it's also, again like our listener,

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.200
<v Speaker 2>if you're dealing with seven different people, it ain't a

0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:21.359
<v Speaker 2>one size fits all.

0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.359
<v Speaker 3>You may need to literally figure out. Okay, ooh, he.

0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Like when I rubbed a head up here, he like

0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:28.400
<v Speaker 2>when I massage the balls out here.

0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.600
<v Speaker 3>This one likes when I graise the whole shaft.

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:34.480
<v Speaker 2>There's so many different tips, but that will apply to

0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:38.520
<v Speaker 2>each person individually, And yeah, I think I think that's

0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.640
<v Speaker 2>my thing and I think I want to lead lead

0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:44.280
<v Speaker 2>off with this. We are all works in progress and

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:48.400
<v Speaker 2>each person is different. So if your partner says that

0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:52.240
<v Speaker 2>what you do isn't enjoyable for them, you have to

0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:54.760
<v Speaker 2>take yourself out of it, because if this is a

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.400
<v Speaker 2>person you love or that you want to please, don't

0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.240
<v Speaker 2>make this a personal attack on you, baby girl, because

0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:02.720
<v Speaker 2>maybe that works on someone else. Don't take it as

0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:05.240
<v Speaker 2>you suck in bed or you suck a head.

0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.359
<v Speaker 4>I will give you one tip for men that everybody

0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:10.679
<v Speaker 4>should hear or people that eat pussy, stop looking at

0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 4>shit so fucking hard.

0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 3>Stop it.

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:16.920
<v Speaker 2>The fact that there's so many women that have gainful head. Yeah,

0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:19.720
<v Speaker 2>painful head is a thing. Lighten up, bro, light up.

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.760
<v Speaker 2>I agree, kiss the pussy and work from there. And

0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:26.240
<v Speaker 2>for anyone sucking or eating pussy who gets that advice

0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:28.800
<v Speaker 2>like you, don't have to take it personal like oh

0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:32.160
<v Speaker 2>you're so awful, you're not good in bed again. Each

0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:35.879
<v Speaker 2>person is different, and so if someone actually communicates with

0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 2>you that you're doing something that is unenjoyable to them,

0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.359
<v Speaker 2>don't take it as a slight don't take it as

0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:44.120
<v Speaker 2>a disc don't take it as an as a fucking

0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:48.120
<v Speaker 2>you know something to impact your whole fucking uh security.

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.880
<v Speaker 4>Lize what someone told me that people say I suck

0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:54.240
<v Speaker 4>good dick because I have an overbite, and the girls

0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:56.000
<v Speaker 4>who overbites suck good dick because.

0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:57.199
<v Speaker 3>Well, you're getting rid of it, so you're gonna be

0:18:57.200 --> 0:18:59.280
<v Speaker 3>bad at Is that true?

0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:02.600
<v Speaker 4>If y'all noticed that with dick sucking overbtes, apparently there's

0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:05.000
<v Speaker 4>more room for the dick. So like they feel your

0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:10.080
<v Speaker 4>teeth plus, okay, I'm scared, I'll take them off.

0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:12.800
<v Speaker 5>You definitely sound like I mean, maybe it's something to it.

0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:14.639
<v Speaker 5>But if you get good, you work, you do it

0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:15.960
<v Speaker 5>with the best with what you got.

0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 3>With Carrie, did you have to learn that to suck

0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:19.000
<v Speaker 3>dick again when you did your teeth?

0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:21.960
<v Speaker 4>No, it didn't feel different. It feels different for me.

0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:22.920
<v Speaker 4>Kissing didn't.

0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:23.639
<v Speaker 3>I think I had to.

0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I had to practice eating, Like eating felt a little

0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:30.080
<v Speaker 2>different at first, but but not kissing, not kissing or

0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:30.560
<v Speaker 2>sucking dick.

0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:34.639
<v Speaker 4>Kissing is the hardest that to co minute. Then sucking

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.080
<v Speaker 4>dick God's gift. It just really came back to me

0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:40.439
<v Speaker 4>like a bike. But kissing, I remember being like, oh

0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:42.480
<v Speaker 4>this is funny. I mean if I kissed someone with

0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 4>metal in their mouth that would be different. Like honestly, so,

0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.719
<v Speaker 4>I kissed three people since I've had it, and I

0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:49.520
<v Speaker 4>like bring it up.

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:51.680
<v Speaker 3>So the girl that we just fucked was like.

0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:54.240
<v Speaker 4>Girl, I didn't feel that shit at all, Like she

0:19:54.280 --> 0:19:57.199
<v Speaker 4>said she was super nervous once she saw them. I

0:19:57.200 --> 0:19:58.880
<v Speaker 4>think it's just something to get over, because you really

0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:00.800
<v Speaker 4>don't feel te when you're kissing.

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:02.040
<v Speaker 3>If you're you have a good kisser.

0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:06.479
<v Speaker 4>But I feel it when I'm racing because it's constantly rubbing.

0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.440
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, it's just something new any orthrow work, I

0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:13.320
<v Speaker 4>feel like you. I don't think I've ever kissed or

0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:14.440
<v Speaker 4>fucked the guy with bracest.

0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.560
<v Speaker 3>I've kissed a girl like almost ever. I don't think

0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:20.639
<v Speaker 3>a girl either. Are you asexual? I don't think I

0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:21.920
<v Speaker 3>ever dealt with anybody with bracelet.

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:23.520
<v Speaker 4>You might need to get some piffy that might be

0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:25.520
<v Speaker 4>a nice with your decentering sex, just some nice.

0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:29.879
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to say I don't want it the intimacy.

0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:32.879
<v Speaker 2>I don't want it with someone who I'm not looking for,

0:20:33.080 --> 0:20:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm not just wanting to use somebody for sex

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:38.000
<v Speaker 2>or to get me off in a moment, like I

0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:40.560
<v Speaker 2>want to have some sort of connection with the person

0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.280
<v Speaker 2>I don't want women or nickas.

0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:44.760
<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, I don't want either.

0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:50.120
<v Speaker 2>Right now, Hopefully you guys use some of this advice

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.159
<v Speaker 2>and find a way to communicate with your partner the

0:20:53.200 --> 0:20:55.359
<v Speaker 2>things you like, the things you don't like, and again

0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:57.600
<v Speaker 2>not take things so goddamn personal.

0:20:58.440 --> 0:20:59.040
<v Speaker 3>That would work.

0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:02.720
<v Speaker 2>And again, if you want to send in your question

0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:05.720
<v Speaker 2>to us and get our advice or just a specific

0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:08.000
<v Speaker 2>topic that you want us to touch on, make sure

0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:12.199
<v Speaker 2>you email us at Decisions Pod that's Decisions po d

0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:15.000
<v Speaker 2>at gmail dot com.

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.639
<v Speaker 3>And we will get to your letter. Again.

0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, guys, and hopefully you take some of this

0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:24.440
<v Speaker 2>advice into your relationship and the bedroom. So next time,

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:34.359
<v Speaker 2>bye hye