1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,399 Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: a terrible threatful guess what you've got? Decisions All right, y'all. 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 2: This week we are talking giving feedback to your partner, 5 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 2: accepting honest feedback, working through it, how to be honest. 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 3: We're doing a. 7 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 2: Lot of things, so let's get right in to the letter. Hi, ladies, 8 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 2: love you both, and this podcast has helped me become 9 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 2: more confident in dating and in the bedroom. I'm a 10 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 2: forty four year old single mo. I recently ended a 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 2: twenty two year relationship about two years ago. In my 12 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 2: previous relationship, I never had a problem making my partner 13 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 2: come from oral sex, but I haven't since then. I've 14 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 2: been dating for two years and have had seven partners. 15 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 2: Most will stop you sis. Most will stop me five 16 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 2: minutes in for sex. I can't tell if they stop 17 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 2: me because it's great and they don't want to finish early, 18 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 2: or if they think it's terrible and just want it 19 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 2: to stop. One of my partners seems to love it, 20 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 2: and when we're high, I've spent as long as two 21 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 2: hours down there. I am a giver and enjoy oral sex, 22 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 2: so I didn't even realize I was down there that long. 23 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 2: He's now requesting that two hour head every time. He's 24 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 2: a brutally honest person, so I don't think he would 25 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 2: lie about enjoying it. But I could go down on 26 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 2: him for thirty minutes and he still won't finish. Am 27 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 2: I boring when I give head? My ex had me 28 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 2: super insecure about sex. I've asked for feedback from others 29 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 2: and I don't get much. I love giving head so much, 30 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 2: but I want to know that the man is actually 31 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 2: enjoying it. Here are her questions, question number one, do 32 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 2: you have any good oral sex tips? And question number two, 33 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 2: what's the best way to ask for feedback to make 34 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 2: the other person feel comfortable enough to be honest with you. 35 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 2: I'm still trying to figure out this whole dating thing. 36 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 2: Thank you, ladies. So let's actually start with let's end 37 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,959 Speaker 2: with good oral sex tips. Let's start with the problem 38 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 2: at hand is that she wants feedback from her partners 39 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 2: because she's insecure now about feeling if she's even doing 40 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 2: a good job. 41 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 4: I feel like if they are rushing you to stop, 42 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 4: then it probably ain't that. 43 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 3: Good because I'm not gonna lie I do I'm tired 44 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 3: of a second dady. 45 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 2: Well, I do that with head, Like if I don't 46 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 2: really feel like it's doing much down there, one, I 47 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 2: want to just get fucked. 48 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,639 Speaker 4: But like I literally have been exhausted because a dude 49 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 4: doesn't want me to stop. That's how I know I 50 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 4: feel like somethings offul Well, Well, of course you're twenty 51 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 4: two years you figured. 52 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 3: It's well, there's a difference there. 53 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 2: You were saying, someone keeping you down there lets you 54 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,919 Speaker 2: know that you're doing a good job. 55 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 3: She is on the flip side. 56 00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 2: She feels like a man coming kind of solidifies it 57 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 2: to her that it's good, right because she also made 58 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 2: the fast Well, she has someone, Well, she has someone 59 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 2: that she's down there for two hours and he's not 60 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 2: coming even after thirty minutes. 61 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think that means it's bad either, right, Well, 62 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 3: in her mind's it's a lot of edging. 63 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 4: Men love to keep sext going or a moment going. 64 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 4: I've literally had my man tell me things about how 65 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,959 Speaker 4: well if I comment's over, you know, like men want 66 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 4: to enjoy sex too, and if you're the type of 67 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 4: person that can sect it for two hours. Fuck, if 68 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 4: they can't hold themselves back, they probably will. What I 69 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 4: do think, though, is there may be some maybe you're going. 70 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 4: I typically find head and kissing or one in the 71 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 4: same when they're not done right. It's either too fast. 72 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 4: That's generally when kissing is bad for me. And I'm 73 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 4: like trying to slow someone down. Can't stand a bitch 74 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 4: that's going too fast. Slow is never really that bad 75 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 4: because you can always work up to it. But too 76 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 4: fast or a little like too slow sometimes too like 77 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 4: if a girl's trying to give you all this spit 78 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 4: and trying to do all this theatrics, it's like, bro, 79 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 4: now I's going down is ass correct? 80 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 3: Like Nigga's calm down field up to that shit? Okay. 81 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 4: And I think that sloppy toppy idea is something women 82 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,039 Speaker 4: think they should be doing when really like, there should 83 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,160 Speaker 4: be an art to sucking dick and trying to be 84 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 4: carean is not supposed to happen to minutes time. 85 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 2: I only disagree here because I think it depends on 86 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 2: your partner. 87 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 4: But she said out of seven five, they're always trying 88 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 4: to stop her at five minutes. 89 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 3: That's not good. No, but that's what But we don't 90 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 3: know if she's being sloppy. 91 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 2: So I'm just saying, even in terms of like this 92 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 2: having these multiple partners, if she's also saying she's asked 93 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 2: them and she they make it seem like she's doing 94 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,799 Speaker 2: a good job, she's just insecure at it. I think 95 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 2: then what you should be asking your partners is not 96 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 2: how good you're doing at something sexually, but what they enjoy, 97 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 2: so that you can focus on what things they like. 98 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 3: Some men may like it sloppy, some men may like 99 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:00,919 Speaker 3: it slow. 100 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 2: I think the way to actually get out of your 101 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 2: head about whether you're doing a good job or not, 102 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 2: especially if you have multiple partners, don't think that one 103 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 2: dick sucks fits all. I think that you should talk 104 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 2: to each partner and just be like, hey, when you 105 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 2: get ahead, what things do you really like? Because like 106 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 2: when I have oral sex, I really like fingers. A 107 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: lot of women apparently do not like fingers, to where 108 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 2: I find myself asking niggas to finger me. 109 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 3: But it's because I like penetration. 110 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 2: So because there's such a gambit of different ways we 111 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 2: all enjoy sex sex, I think it's not about you 112 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 2: leaning into you being insecure as to whether they like 113 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 2: it or not. I think if you're gonna casually have 114 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 2: sex with multiple people, have those individual conversations with them 115 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 2: and actually ask what they like. 116 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 3: This is a the answer. 117 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 4: But also, bro, I'm giving them even people are gonna 118 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 4: let you know if you suck tack. 119 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 3: Amazing. 120 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 2: No, but that's the thing to me. If your insecurity 121 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 2: is whether you feel like you're doing a good job 122 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 2: or not, and you. 123 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 4: Feel into a podcast, she feels like she can't s 124 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 4: a good different reason. 125 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 2: So I'm giving I'm giving her advice that I actually 126 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,720 Speaker 2: think works here. So let me let me again. I'll 127 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 2: break it down her. Her thing is she's insecure about 128 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 2: whether she's doing a good job or not. 129 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 3: I know what you're saying, and then would not. 130 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 2: Tell you you're awful. 131 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 3: That's why I just want what I'm saying. She the 132 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 3: guest that she has, like, why are we lying right now? 133 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 3: I'm not lying. Of course you should ask. 134 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 4: But if she feels like she's doing something wrong, seven 135 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 4: men are making you feel like, Bro, that's enough of 136 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 4: a ratio to know it. 137 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 3: Oh, this probably ain't it, So I think I'm sorry. 138 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 3: You could give your advice I have. 139 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 2: My advice is to ask each one of them, what 140 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: do you enjoy in terms of head and then focus 141 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 2: on you doing the things that you know they're asking 142 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 2: for and that they like. 143 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 4: If you could name the last five guys who can 144 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 4: would have any of them told them you were good? 145 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 4: Have what have any of them said you were good? 146 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 4: I'm not asking they don't just offer that. No, that's 147 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 4: not something that men just offer. 148 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 2: I mean I have something, I have something that like 149 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: let me know years later, damn the ship was good. 150 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,280 Speaker 3: But I'm not asking for a dick sucking rate. You're 151 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 3: telling me, am I like the only one I get you. 152 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 4: I've you know, pussy and a woman told me in 153 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 4: the middle of it. Man have told me like are 154 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 4: we not talking in the middle right after? That was 155 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 4: amazing me too. 156 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 3: That's That's what I'm experiening. 157 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 2: But but if someone telling me that was amazing, nigga, 158 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: I h your ass, I sucked your dick. 159 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 3: We brought toys out. 160 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 2: There's so many things like yes, the overall sexual experience 161 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 2: I've had niggas when they come like, wow, that was amazing. 162 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 2: Do I sit here and be like, so did you 163 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 2: like how I wrote it? Or I ain't write it? 164 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,119 Speaker 3: But did you. Did you like how I sucked your nipple? 165 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: Did you like the head? 166 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 2: Did you I'm not doing an itemized checklist at what 167 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 2: made something amazing. 168 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 4: I'm gonna say this, being good in bed is something 169 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 4: someone will let you know, right, But being good in 170 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 4: bed is not just one sex act. 171 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 2: Okay, this is specific to the head. So yes, I've 172 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 2: been told by many people the last five, the last ten, 173 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 2: the last one hundred, how great I am in the bed. 174 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is there's a lot of things 175 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 2: that add. 176 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 3: Up to your overall score. 177 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 2: She is specifically leaning into head, which is why she 178 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 2: also asks for oralton. 179 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 4: I'm just saying, if you have the feeling, I do 180 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 4: believe she's probably you know, when someone's enjoying the fuck 181 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 4: out of some shit, Like you're asking the question but 182 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 4: you kind of know the answer. So I'm just saying, 183 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 4: I don't want to like front bro. When someone's really 184 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 4: good at something, you fucking know. So I think probably 185 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 4: when I started to mention the fast thing, it was 186 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 4: purposefully because there are a lot of things that women 187 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 4: do during oral sex that aren't necessarily as exciting. One 188 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 4: that I've heard across the board is when they're getting 189 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 4: too wild, too crazy, or it's too sloppy. It has 190 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 4: to be some sort of a build up. And if 191 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,719 Speaker 4: you're having sex to me with someone new, asking them 192 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 4: what they like given, I think we all should be 193 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 4: doing that men as well. But there are certain things 194 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 4: within sucking dick that I could see being in turnoff. 195 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 4: Now with the help of Twitter and all this shit, 196 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 4: we're seeing some of the craziest right, it's looking like crazy, 197 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 4: it's all over your eyes, like we know, super nasty, 198 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 4: they love it, we get it. But I have definitely 199 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 4: heard from n bitches be leading with that and be like, god, damn, 200 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 4: what the fuck talking about good dick. 201 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 3: Suckingd tips. 202 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 4: Number one compliment I've received is teasing licking. The sensation 203 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 4: of licking from the shaft to the tip, literally just 204 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 4: your tongue like a lollipop. Eye contact is really really important. 205 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 4: And making sure that you're not just keeping your head 206 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 4: down there, right, dorees a mic, talk it to the 207 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 4: mic girl. 208 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 3: Okay, let me give a lot tip. 209 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 4: You're not just keeping your head down. We got bitches 210 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,079 Speaker 4: on Patreon pan for this. If you're keeping your head down, 211 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 4: they're only getting one sensation of your mouth. You actually 212 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 4: have to turn your mouth, use your head even if 213 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 4: they don't like hands. That'll help you with your posture. 214 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 4: But sometimes it can feel really boring if you're just 215 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 4: doing this unbobbing motion. There should be more dynamic shit 216 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 4: going on during head. The same with men, which is 217 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 4: why you like fingers right, using your lips, using your tongue, 218 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 4: all of it making noise. Like there's so many different 219 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 4: things that are beyond the actual motion of sucking dick. 220 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 4: But like here, if you're gonna do this, make it perform. 221 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 2: I mean, I think one of the biggest and why 222 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 2: I picked this letter, one of the hardest things I 223 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 2: think for people is to tell their partner or a 224 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 2: lover that something in the bedroom just don't feel good. 225 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 2: I think you don't want to bring out an insecurity 226 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 2: with someone, like if a man is down there eating 227 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 2: your pussy and is eating it. Yeah, some woman may 228 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 2: not be able to or don't know how to tell 229 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 2: their partner, hey it hurts, or that doesn't feel good, 230 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 2: or I don't even really want you down there because 231 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 2: it ain't doing nothing for me. I think that's a 232 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 2: difficult thing for people to communicate, and I want to 233 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 2: ask both of you, how a time or how you've 234 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 2: communicated that you didn't like something in the bedroom. I 235 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 2: guess I'll start there was in my last relationship, I'm claustrophobic. 236 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,319 Speaker 2: He used to like to do this pillowcase thing where 237 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 2: he put my head in a pillowcase and do like 238 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 2: this little role playing thing. And I literally had to 239 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,719 Speaker 2: tell him how in that moment it took me out 240 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 2: of enjoying the sex because I'm either thinking about my breath, 241 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 2: I'm not really in it, and I'm claustrophobic, and I 242 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 2: like it was something that I know he really liked doing, 243 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 2: and I was just like, listen, I know we've done 244 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 2: this a couple of times now, I really don't like 245 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 2: when you do it. And we just kind of got 246 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 2: to have that conversation. Luckily, it wasn't the head or 247 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 2: the dick or anything else. It was kind of another act, 248 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 2: but it was something that I brought up to him 249 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 2: in a regular setting, not while we were in the bedroom. 250 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 3: I didn't tell him to stop in the moment. 251 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 2: I didn't ruin the moment, but I let him know 252 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 2: to the fact, like, hey, I really don't want to 253 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 2: do that anymore. And I might have told him like 254 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 2: the next morning, like while we were drinking coffee, like 255 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 2: I know. 256 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 3: We did that. Let that be the last time. 257 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 2: How have y'all communicated something and how did your partner 258 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 2: react when you told them that you weren't enjoying something? 259 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 5: Well, I mean, I'm gonna start off. I have started 260 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 5: off in the past just by saying like, hey, like 261 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 5: first set the table the right way. I don't want 262 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 5: you to be offended by this. I think everything you're 263 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 5: doing is great, but I just want you to help. 264 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 5: I just want you to consider something. I think that 265 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 5: we could take things to another level if we try 266 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 5: doing this. Like I've told somebody before, like I would 267 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 5: love for you to like put your hands on me 268 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,679 Speaker 5: in certain places. It does something for me. It's something 269 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,680 Speaker 5: that you don't do, you know, like put your hand 270 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 5: on the back of my neck, like put your hand 271 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 5: around my ankle, you know what I mean. I mean ankle, wrist, 272 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 5: you know, think. 273 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 3: Hey, your legs in the air wall. I get that. 274 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I like that because you actually didn't 275 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 2: tell her something she was doing bad stuff. 276 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 3: You just said you told her something she wasn't doing 277 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 3: that would make it. 278 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 5: Would encouragement ego with people. 279 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 2: You know, is there something that you've experienced that didn't 280 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 2: feel good at all that you had to communicate to 281 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 2: a partner. 282 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 3: I ain't gonna lie. 283 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 5: I probably just dubbed the whole thing. 284 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 3: Really, Oh so you just out here not communicating. 285 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 4: Probably if I'm not seeing more like of us together, 286 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 4: I'm good. 287 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 3: I'm not bringing it up. You know your ship mad. 288 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 3: Here's the thing. Something's bad. 289 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 4: I might stop it if something's mid, which is how 290 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:33,719 Speaker 4: you want to improve it. 291 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 3: I feel like from hearing this. 292 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 4: This head is mid. Okay, I'm coming back, but it's 293 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 4: not great. So something being mid, I'm gonna stay. 294 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 5: Something I want to say to when it comes, Like 295 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 5: all our dicks don't work the same? You feel me 296 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 5: so like agreed, different the head, different sensitivities, the ball. 297 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 5: You know what type of history he had before you 298 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,080 Speaker 5: got here. You know he might not finish off of 299 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 5: head like he might enjoy it a lot. But it's 300 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 5: just like this the finale. 301 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 4: There's a something point the point besides the coming. It's 302 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 4: definitely not the finale. But I want people to keep 303 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 4: in mind, specifically women with their insecurities around suckond dig 304 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,959 Speaker 4: if you're doing something and you're not getting a reaction, 305 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 4: maybe try something else. You should be listening their breath. Also, 306 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 4: the dick gets harder, you feel it getting softer. That 307 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 4: doesn't mean let me keep doing what I'm doing that 308 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 4: doesn't work. It might mean he's off for a second 309 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 4: and try something else. Like it's talking to you. Dick 310 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 4: is so much easier to suck than eating a pussy 311 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 4: because it tells you they already it really do. 312 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 3: It talks to you, and when it thing, it rocks solid. 313 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 4: I'd be like, bro, the last time my man got 314 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 4: soft when I was sucking his dick, I was so 315 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 4: insecure and he was like, baby, you can't see behind you. 316 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 3: I look behind me. 317 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 4: Nina's sitting there with a toy, and. 318 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, why did you say anything? He's like, I 319 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 3: know you. 320 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 4: I didn't want to ruin a moment like she's trying 321 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 4: to play to like they woke up. 322 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 2: I think that's interesting that you brought that up too, 323 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 2: Like we we often think about the physical of sex 324 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 2: and not how psychological sex is. So he could not 325 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 2: be coming because his mind is elsewhere. Maybe it's on 326 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 2: a project from work. Maybe it's the fact that he 327 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 2: got to take his kids this weekend because it's his 328 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 2: weekend to have them. Maybe it's damn or you know 329 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 2: what I mean, Like his mind maybe in the moment. 330 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 3: Is just not there. 331 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 2: And I do like what you said too, like there 332 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 2: that that maybe that's not just the finale for him. 333 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 3: But also understand. 334 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 2: That men, which is where I'm working on the two ladies, 335 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 2: the finale or enjoyment of sex for men is not 336 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 2: dictated upon whether they come or not. 337 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 3: Things can feel really good for a man and they 338 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 3: not come. 339 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 2: There's semen retention, there's facts that maybe some men just 340 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 2: don't come, but they enjoyed the entire act and don't come. 341 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 4: And a lot of two with the male orgasm during 342 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 4: a blowjob, it's either like rhythmic, doing the same rhythm 343 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 4: that gets in there. 344 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 3: They get us tired, bitch, I'll I'm sorry. 345 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: I know you was about to come, but baby, I 346 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 2: couldn't do it no more like you. 347 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 3: Feel me, you feel me, maybe no one will be 348 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 3: losing it TI. 349 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 4: I mean, like girl, I've be having an elbow my 350 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 4: hands up and I'm getting tired and I leaned on 351 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 4: one elbow on the leg and. 352 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 3: Let I mean you are not close. 353 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 2: I think that's what it is. I think in terms 354 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 2: of our sensitive our insecurities around dick sucking, and this 355 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 2: is for men and women, I think we need to 356 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 2: lean into just not science, but knowing that you know 357 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 2: him coming is not the only telling factor as to 358 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 2: whether he enjoyed it or not. But kind of like 359 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 2: you Wolf said about the sensitivity one one dick suck 360 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 2: isn't gonna fit all, I think you do need to 361 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 2: communicate and test out the sensitivity of that specific partner 362 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,360 Speaker 2: because I have some men that literally do not want 363 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 2: their balls touched or suck, and I have some that 364 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 2: will push my head straight down to the balls and 365 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 2: they want more attention at the balls than their dick 366 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 2: at all. So I think it's also, again like our listener, 367 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 2: if you're dealing with seven different people, it ain't a 368 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 2: one size fits all. 369 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 3: You may need to literally figure out. Okay, ooh, he. 370 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 2: Like when I rubbed a head up here, he like 371 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,400 Speaker 2: when I massage the balls out here. 372 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 3: This one likes when I graise the whole shaft. 373 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 2: There's so many different tips, but that will apply to 374 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 2: each person individually, And yeah, I think I think that's 375 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 2: my thing and I think I want to lead lead 376 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 2: off with this. We are all works in progress and 377 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 2: each person is different. So if your partner says that 378 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 2: what you do isn't enjoyable for them, you have to 379 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 2: take yourself out of it, because if this is a 380 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,400 Speaker 2: person you love or that you want to please, don't 381 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 2: make this a personal attack on you, baby girl, because 382 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 2: maybe that works on someone else. Don't take it as 383 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 2: you suck in bed or you suck a head. 384 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 4: I will give you one tip for men that everybody 385 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 4: should hear or people that eat pussy, stop looking at 386 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 4: shit so fucking hard. 387 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 3: Stop it. 388 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 2: The fact that there's so many women that have gainful head. Yeah, 389 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 2: painful head is a thing. Lighten up, bro, light up. 390 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 2: I agree, kiss the pussy and work from there. And 391 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 2: for anyone sucking or eating pussy who gets that advice 392 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 2: like you, don't have to take it personal like oh 393 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,160 Speaker 2: you're so awful, you're not good in bed again. Each 394 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 2: person is different, and so if someone actually communicates with 395 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 2: you that you're doing something that is unenjoyable to them, 396 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 2: don't take it as a slight don't take it as 397 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,120 Speaker 2: a disc don't take it as an as a fucking 398 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 2: you know something to impact your whole fucking uh security. 399 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 4: Lize what someone told me that people say I suck 400 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 4: good dick because I have an overbite, and the girls 401 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 4: who overbites suck good dick because. 402 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 3: Well, you're getting rid of it, so you're gonna be 403 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 3: bad at Is that true? 404 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 4: If y'all noticed that with dick sucking overbtes, apparently there's 405 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 4: more room for the dick. So like they feel your 406 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 4: teeth plus, okay, I'm scared, I'll take them off. 407 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 5: You definitely sound like I mean, maybe it's something to it. 408 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 5: But if you get good, you work, you do it 409 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 5: with the best with what you got. 410 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 3: With Carrie, did you have to learn that to suck 411 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 3: dick again when you did your teeth? 412 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 4: No, it didn't feel different. It feels different for me. 413 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 4: Kissing didn't. 414 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:23,639 Speaker 3: I think I had to. 415 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 2: I had to practice eating, Like eating felt a little 416 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 2: different at first, but but not kissing, not kissing or 417 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: sucking dick. 418 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 4: Kissing is the hardest that to co minute. Then sucking 419 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 4: dick God's gift. It just really came back to me 420 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 4: like a bike. But kissing, I remember being like, oh 421 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 4: this is funny. I mean if I kissed someone with 422 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 4: metal in their mouth that would be different. Like honestly, so, 423 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,719 Speaker 4: I kissed three people since I've had it, and I 424 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 4: like bring it up. 425 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 3: So the girl that we just fucked was like. 426 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 4: Girl, I didn't feel that shit at all, Like she 427 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,199 Speaker 4: said she was super nervous once she saw them. I 428 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,880 Speaker 4: think it's just something to get over, because you really 429 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 4: don't feel te when you're kissing. 430 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 3: If you're you have a good kisser. 431 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,479 Speaker 4: But I feel it when I'm racing because it's constantly rubbing. 432 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 4: But yeah, it's just something new any orthrow work, I 433 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 4: feel like you. I don't think I've ever kissed or 434 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 4: fucked the guy with bracest. 435 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 3: I've kissed a girl like almost ever. I don't think 436 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 3: a girl either. Are you asexual? I don't think I 437 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 3: ever dealt with anybody with bracelet. 438 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 4: You might need to get some piffy that might be 439 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 4: a nice with your decentering sex, just some nice. 440 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 3: I don't want to say I don't want it the intimacy. 441 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 2: I don't want it with someone who I'm not looking for, 442 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 2: Like I'm not just wanting to use somebody for sex 443 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 2: or to get me off in a moment, like I 444 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 2: want to have some sort of connection with the person 445 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 2: I don't want women or nickas. 446 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I don't want either. 447 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 2: Right now, Hopefully you guys use some of this advice 448 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,159 Speaker 2: and find a way to communicate with your partner the 449 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 2: things you like, the things you don't like, and again 450 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 2: not take things so goddamn personal. 451 00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 3: That would work. 452 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 2: And again, if you want to send in your question 453 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 2: to us and get our advice or just a specific 454 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 2: topic that you want us to touch on, make sure 455 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 2: you email us at Decisions Pod that's Decisions po d 456 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. 457 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 3: And we will get to your letter. Again. 458 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 2: Thank you, guys, and hopefully you take some of this 459 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 2: advice into your relationship and the bedroom. So next time, 460 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 2: bye hye