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Speaker 1: Dodd, Would you.

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Speaker 2: Mind your sillion pieces? Would you believe?

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Speaker 1: Ba guys, gals, nine binary pails, Welcome to Bananas.

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Speaker 2: That's Scottie Landis.

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Speaker 3: That's Kurt Brown Owler. Sorry we were a week late

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Speaker 3: on this one. I was traveling for a wedding. It delayed,

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Speaker 3: It screwed everything up, but we appreciate you sticking with

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Speaker 3: us on Stitch or Premium. We love doing the minnesotes

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Speaker 3: because they are your stories that you email or message us,

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Speaker 3: and then we tell the ones that we really enjoy.

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Speaker 3: It's that simple.

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Speaker 1: It's that simple. It's an easy concept. Two buds chatting

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Speaker 1: about that fun stuff.

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Speaker 3: I'm good, I'm really good. It's I was gonna say,

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Speaker 3: it's as if we were sitting in a corner of

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Speaker 3: a of a dark bar, a little before the crowd

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Speaker 3: comes in, you get that first drink. That's the feel

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Speaker 3: we're going for for Mini Sodes, and tonight, I'm heading

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Speaker 3: over to don Antonio's. I don't know if you've ever

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Speaker 3: been to don antonio what's that it's it's a great

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Speaker 3: Mexican restaurant on Pico Over sort of in the It's

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Speaker 3: it's not all the way over in Santa Monica. But

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Speaker 3: it's over in that direction and it's a delight. Fish

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Speaker 3: tanks everywhere, Margherita glasses with cactus arms on the on

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Speaker 3: the stems.

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Speaker 2: Yes, chips, salsa.

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Speaker 1: If I had unlimited resources, I wish it did. The

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Speaker 1: house that was all fish tanks. Love that, Like every

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Speaker 1: wall is a fish tank. Yay that is, and then

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Speaker 1: there's and then there's like another level above it where

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Speaker 1: just like people live to take care of the fish.

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Speaker 1: So we're talking like I live in an aquarium. So

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Speaker 1: there's a full set up, but it's above my house.

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Speaker 1: So all those people there, they do research. Things are happening.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's not just that I have a bunch of fish.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, animals are being bred out of extinction. Okay, well

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about Willie mammoths, but maybe some special sharks.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: Well I'm talking about here. I do know what you're

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Speaker 2: talking about.

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Speaker 3: I went to the Bahamas before the Great Choar for

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Speaker 3: a TV for a Quibi show called back Yeah, Rest

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Speaker 3: in Peace, Quibbi. They did pay for me to travel

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Speaker 3: to Peru in the Bahamas before they went out of business.

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Speaker 2: So we'll take it for.

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Speaker 1: Everybody who's listening, who's not in the television business when

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Speaker 1: when these like digital things pop up where it's just

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Speaker 1: like there's forty billion dollars and the idea is everything's

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Speaker 1: eight minutes long, and you're just like and like, there's

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Speaker 1: two things to go through my head. Yeah, they're always

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Speaker 1: either one this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: usually and money is stupid. People with money are dumb.

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Speaker 1: Or two they know something thing that all of us

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Speaker 1: that all of that all of us, they know something

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Speaker 1: on some deep metadata level that all of us don't know.

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Speaker 1: And it's usually the former that. Yeah, they're always funny,

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Speaker 1: are not in touch with the world.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. The Quibi's whole thing was like you can watch

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Speaker 3: high four K or six K content on the comfort

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Speaker 3: of your own phone because that's what kids do. And

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Speaker 3: then nobody downloaded it, and then the Great Choir happened,

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Speaker 3: and then everybody went to TikTok and TikTok exploded. TikTok

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Speaker 3: just had to figure it out, and Quibi just got

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Speaker 3: left in the in the dirt. But so we went

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Speaker 3: to the Bahamas because we the concept of bad ideas

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Speaker 3: now it's on Roku. If you have Roku, go find

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Speaker 3: bad ideas without vine. I'm in the first episode. We've

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Speaker 3: shoot a commercial because we lost a bet. So the

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Speaker 3: concept is Adam and a friend go to uh a location,

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Speaker 3: like an international location, and they do the inherent worst

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Speaker 3: idea you can do there, Like we drove an ice

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Speaker 3: cream truck on a road and prove that people drive

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Speaker 3: off and die. It's a mile high, it's the most

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Speaker 3: dangerous road in South America. That kind of stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: So the Mohammas, we had a showrunner that we ended

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Speaker 3: up firing because he was totally inept, but before that

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Speaker 3: he pitched us this idea and he was like, Adam Scottie,

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Speaker 3: lionfish are invasive in the Caribbean. These things are decimating

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Speaker 3: the fish population, so why don't we hunt them with

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Speaker 3: spears and then hand feed them to sharks? And we

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Speaker 3: were like, that sounds like a bad idea. Lionfish are

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Speaker 3: very poisonous, it's doing good for the Caribbean, it's actually

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Speaker 3: doing good for the reefs. And then hand feeding sharks

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Speaker 3: is an interesting thing to do, so we go. The

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Speaker 3: guest was the ww Diva superstar Lana Lana, who had

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Speaker 3: only snorkeled once. Our scuba dove dived once and we

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Speaker 3: get there and there are no lionfish. When I say

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Speaker 3: there are no lionfish, there are zero lionfish. We are

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Speaker 3: in a boat for an entire day. So twelve hours

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Speaker 3: on a boat in the Caribbean, which is not as

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Speaker 3: pleasant as it sounds. So then the next day the showrunner,

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Speaker 3: who already knew we were going to fire him like

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Speaker 3: he just was, he was tough, he went and talked

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Speaker 3: to some local fishermen and got like five lionfish. So

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Speaker 3: we were going to fake it, which is never really

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Speaker 3: how you want to do these comdries, never ever, ever, ever, ever.

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Speaker 3: But we were already there, we had already flown talent in,

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Speaker 3: we were already said twelve hours on a boat for

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Speaker 3: no reason. Turns out I have great sea legs because

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Speaker 3: I didn't get sick. So he goes, we're taking these

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Speaker 3: with us. We're going to have the locals place them

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Speaker 3: near and then we're going to shoot them with spears,

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Speaker 3: which is the cruelest thing in the world. And but

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Speaker 3: so on the boat right out, they were not put

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Speaker 3: in the cooler correctly, so these fives just die. So

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Speaker 3: then their big idea was we'll just shake the cameras

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Speaker 3: and shoot it, so it's as if they're alive, and

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Speaker 3: then you will place them and pull back and we'll

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Speaker 3: get close ups and then you guys. So that didn't work.

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Speaker 3: So then they were like, well, let's just hand feed

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Speaker 3: these dead fish two sharks. Yeah, so they start chumming

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Speaker 3: the water. Two days, twenty four hours, one shark, one shark.

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Speaker 3: We had chum buckets, we had everything. It got to

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Speaker 3: the point where we were cracking up laughing at how

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Speaker 3: impossible it is to get attacked by sharks. We were

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Speaker 3: asking the boat, the guides, the captain, the first mate,

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Speaker 3: why aren't there sharks? He goes, I don't know, there

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Speaker 3: should be, So then we all have to pee. We're

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Speaker 3: eating two three meals a day out on this boat,

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Speaker 3: so we just start swimming in chummed water. Well like,

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Speaker 3: it got to the point where we were so certain

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Speaker 3: that we were never going to see sharks that I

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Speaker 3: would dive in the water, pee, swim around, look down

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Speaker 3: there's just chum in the water, and then just hang

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Speaker 3: out because it was too hot on the boat. We

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Speaker 3: never got We just canned the whole episode. We never

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Speaker 3: used that episode. We put CJ in an episode where

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Speaker 3: we tried to summon a demon that was actually pretty funny,

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Speaker 3: but zero lionfish, zero one shark. One shark that came,

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Speaker 3: swam around and then just swam away away.

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Speaker 2: It's just like, I'm bored.

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Speaker 3: Thirty six hours of shooting for absolutely nothing.

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Speaker 2: We all got sunburned. That's so busy, big.

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Speaker 1: Here's here's the thing that because I know I've been

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Speaker 1: in situations like that, and the thing I I hate

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Speaker 1: about situations like that is there's usually one producer, usually

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Speaker 1: not like a high up producer, who's like he's panicking

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Speaker 1: or she's panicking, yes, and is just like, Okay, how

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Speaker 1: about you guys just improvise about what's going on right now?

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Speaker 1: And then you just end up shooting hours of the

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Speaker 1: of you. You know in your head none of this

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Speaker 1: will ever be used, but you have to like sit

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Speaker 1: there and try and be.

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Speaker 2: Funny over and over and over about like the same thing.

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Speaker 1: And it's so painful and so awful and it's so depressing.

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Speaker 2: So this isn't good. I don't like this. No one's

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Speaker 2: gonna like this. Oh that's the worst.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's always a fake solution. And they did shoot

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Speaker 3: the entire first day. They shot the cameras on Adam

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Speaker 3: and Lana, and they had to fake.

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Speaker 2: We're seeing sharks, we're seeing.

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Speaker 3: Lionfish, we're shooting our spears. So they just did it

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Speaker 3: over and over and over, just swimming around with scuba gearon,

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Speaker 3: pretending to be nervous, scared, excited by fiving, cheering.

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Speaker 2: That's the worst. That's the worst part about it.

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Speaker 3: For nothing, just been by the pool exactly. Anyways, I

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Speaker 3: got one. You want me to read you one?

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Speaker 2: I am ready.

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Speaker 3: This is from Campbell's dot soup Campbell with a K

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Speaker 3: Campbells dot soup. Thank you Campbells dot super Campbell. I

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Speaker 3: believe her name is Carrie, but I might be mistaken.

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Speaker 3: This is the story of the most Banana's divorce.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 3: I had a therapist a while back who also did

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Speaker 3: a lot of marriage counseling. I asked a few questions

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Speaker 3: because I bet she had heard some crazy arguments. This

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Speaker 3: was like three appointments in. I knew she did marriage counseling,

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Speaker 3: and I knew I was going to be done with her,

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Speaker 3: so it really didn't matter if I asked about her

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Speaker 3: other clients. She gets to that later. Why she got rid? Uh? Oh,

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Speaker 3: she goes. I decided to switch therapists. I'll just jump

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Speaker 3: to this part. I decided to switch therapist because this

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Speaker 3: lady had the messiest desk ever. There were probably one

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Speaker 3: thousand papers on her desk in different piles. I felt

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Speaker 3: like I didn't want to take advice from someone who

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Speaker 3: had a messier desk than I did.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, you gotta draw a line somewhere. You gotta

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Speaker 2: draw a line somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, but also, you know a betche a

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Speaker 1: lot of smart as I'm sitting at my very messy desk.

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Speaker 2: Ah, I'm like, you know a lot of smart people.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I'm so here it goes this couple decided to

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Speaker 3: get divorced in her office during a session. So during

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Speaker 3: marriage counseling, this couple decides to get divorced, which is

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Speaker 3: I love that fantastic.

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Speaker 1: Never I do know, I do know a couple that

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Speaker 1: that happened to. Really, it was like an amical They

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Speaker 1: just both came to the conclusion at the same time,

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Speaker 1: and then we're like, I guess we're gonna get divorced,

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Speaker 1: And the therapist was like, I think you guys should.

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Speaker 3: That sounds pretty great. Don't you wish every breakup was

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Speaker 3: like that right.

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Speaker 1: Where it's just like they both agreed, and then there

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Speaker 1: was an outside source who had been listening to their

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Speaker 1: problems for eight months ago.

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Speaker 2: I agreed, you guys are not right for each other,

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Speaker 2: like the best. That's the best outcome.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's amazing. So they decided to get in a

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Speaker 3: divorced inner office, and the deciding factor was the way

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Speaker 3: they liked their hot dogs cooked. He liked them boiled,

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Speaker 3: she liked them grilled.

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Speaker 2: First. Yeah, we know who's the psychopath is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a superior way to grill a hot dog.

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Speaker 1: Nobody ever said the way I mean, I guess one

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Speaker 1: person has said the way I love.

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Speaker 2: Is in some greasy, wet water.

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Speaker 3: It just that's the way they would do it in

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Speaker 3: like elementary school and middle school basketball game fundraisers. As

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Speaker 3: you boil hot dogs and some sweet volunteer mom or

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Speaker 3: dad forks them out, and you eat the wettest, soggiest

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Speaker 3: hot dog of your life. Still tastes good, Definitely not

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Speaker 3: as good as grill they are. During the argument, the

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Speaker 3: therapists suggested they divide the package of hot dogs and

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Speaker 3: grill half and boil the other half. And I guess

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Speaker 3: the guy's only response was no, just hated this very

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Speaker 3: practical solution for an even number of packaged tasty tube steaks.

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Speaker 3: They gotten such a heated argument over the cooking methods

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Speaker 3: that it took up the whole hour, and in the

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Speaker 3: end the guy said that's it, I'm done and they

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Speaker 3: agreed to file four divorce.

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Speaker 2: And also the guy was the one who wanted to

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Speaker 2: boil them, right, yes, yes, you know, yeah you gosh. Also,

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Speaker 2: let the door hit you on the way out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, don't let that's right. Don't let the door knob

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Speaker 3: hit you or the good Lord split you. The therapist

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Speaker 3: herself was actually a very bad therapist, hence the divorce

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Speaker 3: in her office, and I was going to stop seeing her,

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Speaker 3: but I went to one more appointment so that I

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Speaker 3: could get more details on the hotal couple. Which is

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Speaker 3: so funny to just pay for one more therapy session

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Speaker 3: to be like, no, wait, how did this end?

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Speaker 2: Exactly?

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Speaker 1: But also like think about that, I mean like it

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Speaker 1: obviously it's it's a symbol of something much deeper wrong

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Speaker 1: in the relationship, am right, but but.

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Speaker 3: Just the idea.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he was like, no, all the hot dogs will

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Speaker 4: be boiled or I am out.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he wouldn''t even split.

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Speaker 3: He couldn't even stand to be in the room. But also,

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Speaker 3: why do you own a grill? What other foods are

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Speaker 3: you like? It's just so obvious that if you own

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Speaker 3: a grill and you like other foods grilled, why are

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Speaker 3: hot Why do hot dogs have to be boiled? It's

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Speaker 3: very strange, like, oh, I don't know, I don't know

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Speaker 3: it's but you know it's on this topic.

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Speaker 2: First off, when you said tube steak, love that you

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Speaker 2: said tube steak tasty tube uh.

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Speaker 1: And I remember once I was going camping. I was

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Speaker 1: camping with my buddy Joe Peely uh, and he said

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Speaker 1: he was like, I was like, what are we having

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Speaker 1: for dinner?

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Speaker 2: Joe?

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Speaker 1: Because he brought up dinner for the first night and

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Speaker 1: he's like tube steaks, pal, And I was like, and

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Speaker 1: I had just never heard that saying before. And the

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Speaker 1: whole day I was like so excited. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what are these tube steaks?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: I thought maybe it was like, I don't know, yes,

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Speaker 1: like a tide together like steak rolled up that you like, oh,

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Speaker 1: but over the fire somehow, and it'd be amazing because

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Speaker 1: he was like a real real outdoorsman.

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Speaker 2: And then it's fucking hot dogs. Just a hot dog

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Speaker 2: that's older. He just laughed. He laughed harder than I've

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Speaker 2: ever seen ten full minutes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean I once read that the average

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Speaker 3: American eats twenty five hot dogs a year, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, there's no way. And then you start doing

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Speaker 3: the math and you're like, well, I guess I did

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Speaker 3: have two on the fourth of July. I go to

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Speaker 3: five Dodgers games a year, and like you start and

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Speaker 3: you're like, oh god, maybe maybe we do. I would

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Speaker 3: never eat hot dogs, but now that I have kids.

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Speaker 2: Today, kids love it. They're like vacuums. Yeah, And so

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Speaker 2: I end up maybe I'll have a couple. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 2: sneak one. I'll sneak one here and there.

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Speaker 3: We're pretty healthy eaters. And also, just to finish that

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Speaker 3: one off, campbells Dot Soup said, also, if you end

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Speaker 3: up using this, I would like a shout out to

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Speaker 3: America's step dad, Jim Hesse. Please make that story into

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Speaker 3: a movie, Scottie. I have made so so many people

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Speaker 3: listen to it. So Jim Hesse, there's your shout out,

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Speaker 3: Homeboy and Campbell's Soup. Campbells Dot Soup, thank you so

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Speaker 3: much for being a great bananimal.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, that is great. Honestly, I I would I

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Speaker 1: would divorce that man. Nobody deserves that because also like

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Speaker 1: just the just the insistence of all the hot dogs,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: I know, I coming back to it, but come back.

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Speaker 1: That is a person who is unable to h to

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Speaker 1: compromise on anything on the smallest, smallest level.

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Speaker 2: Right, it has nothing to do with hot dogs. Probably, No, no, no,

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Speaker 2: it had nothing.

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Speaker 3: That was just it was just the Frankfurt that broke

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Speaker 3: the lunatics back that guy, she's better off with that him.

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Speaker 3: I hope she went and met a man that only

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Speaker 3: loves grilled foods. That would be a nice ending.

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Speaker 1: What is the silliest reason that you've ever broken up

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Speaker 1: with someone?

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Speaker 3: I broke up with someone who was very young for

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Speaker 3: saying really too much on phone calls. She would she

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Speaker 3: would ask a question, what do you want to do

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Speaker 3: this weekend? And I would say, I'll pick you up

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Speaker 3: and we'll go downtown. And she would say really, And

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Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, did you go really? I go, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'll pick you up and then you know, we can

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Speaker 3: go good food or something. She go, really, And I go, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'll go get she'd say, really yeah, And so I

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Speaker 3: you know, I was not a writer back then, but

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Speaker 3: I had the same brain and I would just track

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Speaker 3: it where I would just start putting scratch marks like

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Speaker 3: hash marks to count them. And in a normal twenty

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Speaker 3: minute phone conversation. This was something I was like fourteen

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Speaker 3: or fifteen, I guess. I guess I was sixteen. No,

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Speaker 3: I was probably fifteen. It would be like twenty five

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Speaker 3: to thirty times per phone call. So, how what do

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Speaker 3: you think about doing for homecoming? Well, we can split

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Speaker 3: a limo and go with Andre really yeah, really yeah,

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Speaker 3: that would be fun. What do you what do you

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Speaker 3: want to do that that? Really? It was crazy?

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Speaker 2: So yeah I could that. That would drive me crazy.

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Speaker 3: It drove me insane. So nip that one in the

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Speaker 3: bud at the right page of fourteen or fifteen. She

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Speaker 3: was pretty too. It's a shame.

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Speaker 2: Oops.

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Speaker 3: How about you? Do you have one that comes to mind?

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Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: There's there was definitely people who I dated and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh it like soon you'll be a great person,

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Speaker 1: like in maybe like in seven to ten years, like

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Speaker 1: if you were forty, like this would you would be

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Speaker 1: great because you just need more self confidence.

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Speaker 2: I see, and I just can't have a comfort that

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Speaker 2: that is, like the problem is everything. Timing is everything.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times there have been people in life

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Speaker 3: that you look at and they look at you and

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Speaker 3: you're just you think you like each other a lot,

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Speaker 3: and the timing is just not right, and sometimes you're

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Speaker 3: that person, sometimes they're that person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a wish.

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Speaker 1: I wish time travel existed in this again, coming back

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Speaker 1: to it, how much I love a time travel romance.

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Speaker 2: I love it so much. I know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to write a y a novel when

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Speaker 3: you have the time. That is about a time traveling

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Speaker 3: person who lives somewhere in the distant future who lives

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Speaker 3: in a former uh an abandon aquarium.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. Oh in an abandon aquarium.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like imagine Hunger Games, but cat andists lived in

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Speaker 3: an abandoned aquair. I'm in the amusement park district or whatever.

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Speaker 3: But that's like a great that's a great place in

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Speaker 3: the future. It's like, hey, there's no oceans anymore. These

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Speaker 3: might be the last fish and I live here with

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Speaker 3: me Ma.

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Speaker 1: Who can't walk, and Mema actually in the past, Mema

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Speaker 1: is in love with me because in the past we

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Speaker 1: were we were together.

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Speaker 2: But she's aging and I'm not aging.

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Speaker 1: So I like, literally, we were together for this thirty

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Speaker 1: five years and now she's in dementia doesn't remember me,

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Speaker 1: but I'm the same age.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I like that. It is pretty good.

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Speaker 1: That's the heartbreaking stuff about time travel romances that I love. Like,

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Speaker 1: there was one I read recently which was about it

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Speaker 1: was like a star traveler, you know, I say a star.

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Speaker 4: Traveler to work at the world. He was a star traveler, Scottie,

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Speaker 4: I'm right there with you. I'm like, boy, I'm never

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Speaker 4: reading this dork ass book.

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Speaker 1: But you know, when you go like you know, the

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Speaker 1: basic physics thing is when you go fast and far away,

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Speaker 1: time slows down, right, So people who are like taking

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Speaker 1: long journeys would age slower because they were cryo sleep

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Speaker 1: or some bullshit or whatever, and right, So then he

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Speaker 1: would come back to this planet like every every three

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Speaker 1: years or something and had a relationship with a woman

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Speaker 1: on the planet, but she was aging in real time

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Speaker 1: and he never aged, and so it was like they

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Speaker 1: had this amazing romance that lasted probably like four decades,

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Speaker 1: but then he had to like watch her die and

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Speaker 1: he was still the same age.

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Speaker 3: That's wild.

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Speaker 2: The kind of stuff that like really gets me.

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Speaker 3: So you liked Interstellar then, because Interstellar had a lot

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Speaker 3: of that and I like that movie.

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Speaker 1: I do, I do enjoy it was Yeah, that ending

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Speaker 1: is like, oh that gets me again. Going back to

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Speaker 1: the classic of this, The Time Traveler's Wife the book,

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Speaker 1: not that I cannot wait for this TV show?

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Speaker 3: Are they remaking it?

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Speaker 2: They're making it into a TV show, unbelievable, which makes sense.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna be a little bit like quantum Leap or something.

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Speaker 2: I think, Oh that makes sense. I mean, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I made that up.

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Speaker 1: That's my guess as to what a Time Traveler's Wife

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Speaker 1: TV show would look like. Yeah, because he just appears

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Speaker 1: he time travels against his will.

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Speaker 3: Yeah right, sneeze or something like Kilgore Trout or whatever

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Speaker 3: that vonn and good character. It was just it was

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00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: spiraling out of time. Yeah, he couldn't. You would just

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Speaker 3: pop up places and look insane.

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Speaker 1: Be like oh man, yeah all right, well that's another one.

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Speaker 2: That's another one. It's a great story. Thank you so much, Scattie.

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00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 3: Yeah you got it, and just you know we should

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Speaker 3: give a wholehearted thanks to all the bananimals that do

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00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 3: pay for Stitch your premium listeners. We keep growing, Bananas,

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00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: keeps growing, hallelujah, Keep telling your friends, keep recommend word

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Speaker 3: of mouth is the best, and if we're coming near you,

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Speaker 3: we'd love to see it one of our live shows

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Speaker 3: in the next few weeks. It's going to be great,

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Speaker 3: Uh come on out. But thanks everybody for listening, and

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Speaker 3: thanks for everybody for spreading the bananas uh doctrine the

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Speaker 3: Bananas Gospel to your friends. We love that Bana bah Nanas.

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Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.

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Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine.

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00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 3: The music by Kahan, and all of our.

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00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 2: Artwork is done by Travis Millard.

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Speaker 3: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

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00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 3: where we post stories every day and things that we

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Speaker 3: don't cover on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast,

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Speaker 1: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast.

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Speaker 3: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email

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Speaker 3: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's

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Speaker 3: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Bas