Speaker 1: Pushkin. When it comes to feeling happier, there's no one
Speaker 1: size fits all approach when times get really tough. Many
Speaker 1: of us have our own unique ways to cope, and
Speaker 1: that is what we'll be exploring in this new season
Speaker 1: of The Happiness Lab, the creative strategies that different people
Speaker 1: use to bring joy back into their lives, especially during
Speaker 1: times that don't feel so great. Over the next few episodes,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be talking to people about their coping strategies,
Speaker 1: the things that bring them pleasure and palm, that get
Speaker 1: them out of the house and meeting new people, and
Speaker 1: that ultimately help them cope when they're feeling overwhelmed. You'll
Speaker 1: hear about the power of music, nature, sports, and simple
Speaker 1: hobbies to make our lives happier. And First up is
Speaker 1: the story of Elias Weiss's Friedman. If that name's not familiar,
Speaker 1: go check your Instagram feed, because you might know Elias
Speaker 1: better as the doggiest.
Speaker 2: Right Italian greyhound in an outfit. Excuse me, I take
Speaker 2: a photo of your dogs? I quite yeah.
Speaker 1: For over a decade, Elias has walked the streets of
Speaker 1: New York asking dog owners if he can take photos
Speaker 1: of their pets. Elias's pup portraits are amazing.
Speaker 2: How old is we go? You're in change? Yeah? Can
Speaker 2: you have a little biscuit? Yeah that's true.
Speaker 1: But what's really made The dog Ist a huge hit
Speaker 1: on social media are the heartwarming interactions Elias has with
Speaker 1: both the dogs and the.
Speaker 2: Humans that he Oh my god, I'm honored. I've never
Speaker 2: met a witch's dog. There's a movie, a Disney movie
Speaker 2: in there somewhere.
Speaker 1: Elias has a new book out, This Dog Will Change
Speaker 1: Your Life, which explores how dogs improve the lives of
Speaker 1: so many people, and there's lots of research to back
Speaker 1: this up. Studies show that dogs help us stay active
Speaker 1: and engaged. They keep us in the moment and help
Speaker 1: us notice our surroundings. They're also goofy companions who encourage
Speaker 1: us to let down our barriers and talk to strangers.
Speaker 1: But This Dog will Change Your Life isn't just a
Speaker 1: book about dogs. In the abstract has lots of stories
Speaker 1: from Elias himself about how our furry friends help us cope,
Speaker 1: including tales from his youngest days which explained the very
Speaker 1: special place dogs hold in his heart.
Speaker 2: It's a little bit of like a scary story.
Speaker 3: Perhaps I was with my grandmother at her house and
Speaker 3: she was watching me, and I was a toddler, and
Speaker 3: she went in to get a jacket and left me
Speaker 3: outside with Oreo, her black labrador.
Speaker 2: I don't know what was going through my head.
Speaker 3: Maybe it was let's go on in an adventure. And
Speaker 3: when she came back outside, I was gone. She called
Speaker 3: the police and called my parents and fire department and everything.
Speaker 2: They thought the worst.
Speaker 3: I don't remember it personally, this is what my parents
Speaker 3: would tell me, but a landscaper saw me on the
Speaker 3: side of the road with Oreo, and Oreo was sort
Speaker 3: of like keeping me out of the road, and I
Speaker 3: guess Oreo kept me out of harm's way. And it
Speaker 3: was an early indication of my love of dogs, and
Speaker 3: like that's part of my origin story.
Speaker 2: You could say.
Speaker 1: It also seems like you've been around dogs like your
Speaker 1: whole life, and they've been kind of helping you your
Speaker 1: whole life. Tell me a little bit about kind of
Speaker 1: your childhood in some ways that dogs helped you even
Speaker 1: back then.
Speaker 2: I was always a shy kid. I was social, but
Speaker 2: just not sort.
Speaker 3: Of extroverted, introverted person, and dogs are sort of not
Speaker 3: burdened by self consciousness and anxiety about approaching others. I mean,
Speaker 3: not all dogs, but most of them are, I would say,
Speaker 3: And so when you go up to a dog. That
Speaker 3: was just sort of like a safe place for me
Speaker 3: was going up to my dog Ruby and getting attention
Speaker 3: and love. And I always had this sort of dry
Speaker 3: sense of humor and would speak on my dog's behalf,
Speaker 3: you know, make everyone in the house laugh.
Speaker 2: And that was me expressing myself in a very.
Speaker 3: Like fun pure form that I didn't really get to
Speaker 3: do otherwise.
Speaker 1: Maybe this is too much, but can you do a
Speaker 1: version of the Ruby ventriloquism for the podcast?
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's see. She would go up to my brother
Speaker 2: and say, like, hen, Wei, what are you doing? You
Speaker 2: never pet me anymore? I don't know, it's been it's
Speaker 2: been a while since I've done that in a while.
Speaker 3: But like you know, Ruby, you know, and other dogs
Speaker 3: were like my muses, and it was like you're seeing
Speaker 3: the true Lias come out, and it made everyone relax
Speaker 3: and liked me more. That's where the origin of my
Speaker 3: love of dogs, I think began, was just sort of
Speaker 3: enabling me, as a shy kid, to be my true self.
Speaker 1: Kind of going back to the origin stories, I wanted
Speaker 1: to start with the second time a dog saved your life,
Speaker 1: at least metaphorically set up what was going on when
Speaker 1: you were twenty five and sor what happened next.
Speaker 3: So I worked in a brand strategy agency, helping companies
Speaker 3: tell their story. It was a great job, Like I
Speaker 3: learned probably more in that job than I did in college,
Speaker 3: you know, just like about how to work in the
Speaker 3: real world as a professional. But then, you know, me
Speaker 3: and a colleague both got an email like, oh, come
Speaker 3: to the office of like the group director, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: what's this.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll bring our notebooks. This could be our new thing.
Speaker 2: We'll work together.
Speaker 3: And then it was a rainy day, just like today,
Speaker 3: and he says things were slow at the office, so
Speaker 3: today we'll be relaxed day.
Speaker 2: And we're like, oh, okay. That was obviously a bit startling.
Speaker 3: I was dreading having to slink home with the tail
Speaker 3: between my legs and have to tell my friends and
Speaker 3: family that I was fired. But that was the worst
Speaker 3: of it. My inner child was like, oh, this may
Speaker 3: actually be a good thing. I was in New York
Speaker 3: as a twenty five year old, and I didn't know
Speaker 3: what I wanted to do next, and so I sort
Speaker 3: of sought the council of my friends who were in
Speaker 3: the tech space in the city and who were like
Speaker 3: making things on their own and being their own bosses.
Speaker 3: And I sort of just had this moment of like,
Speaker 3: what would I want to do instead of getting the
Speaker 3: same job somewhere else, What is my soul want? I
Speaker 3: want to hang out with dogs. I missed having a dog.
Speaker 3: They're walking all over around New York City. People are
Speaker 3: fascinated with them, They're obsessed with them. I had grown
Speaker 3: up with the dark room in the house and had
Speaker 3: always been into like creating dog content, and I had,
Speaker 3: you know, a bunch of camera equipment. Within a year,
Speaker 3: you know, I was like interviewing dogs about world news
Speaker 3: on video. But that was a little bit like strange,
Speaker 3: you know, to get people's dogs all riled up. But
Speaker 3: then I started taking portraits. I was like the epiphany.
Speaker 3: I just remember, like I was in Williamsburg in Brooklyn
Speaker 3: and came across a frenchie and I.
Speaker 2: Like had said, Okay, may I take a photo of.
Speaker 3: Your French shye and he said, yeah, I did, and
Speaker 3: then he said what's this for? And I was like
Speaker 3: the doggiest and just so I rolled off my tongue.
Speaker 3: I was like it sounded good, and then I was
Speaker 3: off to the races. It sort of started as a joke,
Speaker 3: like wouldn't it be funny to photograph dogs in this
Speaker 3: sort of serious way, you know, the sartorialist for dogs.
Speaker 3: And I would walk around the streets of New York.
Speaker 3: I figured out my system. You know, I'm wearing the
Speaker 3: same pants I wore eleven years ago, these like cargo pants.
Speaker 3: I used to wear knee pads because I need to
Speaker 3: get down into the dog zone, the dog level. Literally,
Speaker 3: My job was a walk in the park. I would say, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to Central Park today, or I'm going
Speaker 3: to go to Brooklyn or walk around Soho and just
Speaker 3: try and create great images, whether the dog stands out
Speaker 3: on its own because it's like unique looking or charismatic,
Speaker 3: or the person is wearing like cool shoes or an outfit.
Speaker 2: Of course, my dad was like, how are you going
Speaker 2: to make money? Like this is like what is this?
Speaker 3: When are you going to get a real job type
Speaker 3: of thing like, But that was sort of like the
Speaker 3: moment when I accepted myself this is going to be okay.
Speaker 3: This is going to be good. How could people not
Speaker 3: love this? People love dogs, so I've chosen a good subject.
Speaker 3: And also people love New York. New York has this magnetism.
Speaker 3: Everyone around the world is so curious about New York.
Speaker 3: And it just sort of got traction quickly, and you know,
Speaker 3: Huffy in Post and all local news, and of course
Speaker 3: everyone was like, thank god, this now exists. And so
Speaker 3: I went from being a twenty five year old person
Speaker 3: in New York trying to like find their purpose to
Speaker 3: being celebrated as like an artist and a dog person,
Speaker 3: like celebrated for something I really wanted to do that's fun,
Speaker 3: and like I wanted to be known for.
Speaker 2: And so the dogs save me again.
Speaker 1: I mean, one of the cool things about what you
Speaker 1: do is that you're kind of using the power of
Speaker 1: technology for good. I think, unlike many influencers, you're really
Speaker 1: using the power of technology to get people to connect
Speaker 1: rather than divide people. You had this lovely quote in
Speaker 1: your book where you said, I think sometimes dog content
Speaker 1: is the single strand of why are tethering our society
Speaker 1: to decency insanity? Kind of explain what you mean there.
Speaker 3: That's sort of like, I think part of the success
Speaker 3: of the doggest is that everything on the Internet is
Speaker 3: very like grown up most of the time, or we're
Speaker 3: expected to take things seriously, and here I was being like,
Speaker 3: what if, like we just had a whole account about dogs,
Speaker 3: this is what the dogs would want for us? And
Speaker 3: everyone was like, oh my god, can we actually do that?
Speaker 3: Can we make this a real thing? And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we can. The joke is like, you know me, this
Speaker 3: guy who's like going to take this project extremely seriously.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get this really dramatic pictures of dogs
Speaker 3: and our kneepads and like make this his whole life.
Speaker 3: And the whole thing is kind of like a joke,
Speaker 3: Like dogs don't really want their pictures taken, not that
Speaker 3: they wouldn't, but they don't conceive of what a camera is,
Speaker 3: so no dog is ever like don't post that, like
Speaker 3: delete that, make sure take it down, Like my nose
Speaker 3: looks big or my ears look weird, Like there are
Speaker 3: these beings that live with us and are completely free
Speaker 3: of the things that we are so worry about. If
Speaker 3: only we could be like that, if only we could
Speaker 3: tell our most embarrassing story, post our least flattering picture,
Speaker 3: and be in front of you know, ten million people
Speaker 3: and not care.
Speaker 2: Did RDY see the post? I hope he doesn't think
Speaker 2: I'm weird.
Speaker 1: Now the first time you went out on that photo shoot, like,
Speaker 1: what was that?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: I trusted my gut. I knew that there was something there.
Speaker 3: I mean, everyone's a dog photographer, right. I was not
Speaker 3: the first person with this idea to create a project
Speaker 3: around dogs, but I just sort of decided I wanted
Speaker 3: to take it to another level. I grew up in
Speaker 3: a house that was a little bit zany, the dog
Speaker 3: vnchrolcism thing where dogs are sort of like have inner monologues.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't create that. I was steeped in that
Speaker 2: growing up.
Speaker 3: But the idea of creating a whole project around something
Speaker 3: that on the surface seems like silly. If you have
Speaker 3: to be a little disruptive and be willing to be
Speaker 3: disrupt and to not listen to other people in order
Speaker 3: to find success in the thing that you love. And
Speaker 3: motivational speaker Gary Vaynerchuk, he would say things like, do
Speaker 3: your smurf blog. Whatever it is that you think is cool,
Speaker 3: there are many people who also would find it cool.
Speaker 3: And of all the things I chose. I chose one
Speaker 3: of the most popular things dogs. But at the time,
Speaker 3: this was like before really being an influencer was a thing,
Speaker 3: and like we were still figuring out what like social media.
Speaker 2: Was and what it could be.
Speaker 3: And so I did the thing that seemed strange at
Speaker 3: the time but was sort of the thing we all needed.
Speaker 1: Talk to me about just how big the dogs has
Speaker 1: gotten since that first Frenchie photo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's been eleven years, going on twelve years,
Speaker 3: and I've garnered an audience of close to ten million
Speaker 3: people from all around the world, become a New York
Speaker 3: Times bestselling author, my first narrative book coming out about
Speaker 3: my experiences working with all types of incredible dog organizations,
Speaker 3: being invited to the White House, you know, ptograph something
Speaker 3: like fifty thousand dogs.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's a world record.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but it's certainly changed the fabric, you know,
Speaker 3: I say change the fabric of who I am, but
Speaker 3: really it's just it is who I am.
Speaker 1: It also seems like it's given you other ways to
Speaker 1: find a sense of purpose, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean when I was like, let go for my job,
Speaker 3: I kind of had this bitterness in a way of
Speaker 3: like well, if people don't like me, well, dogs are great.
Speaker 3: I've always felt that way that like dogs represent like
Speaker 3: the type of person we wish we could be. We
Speaker 3: designed dogs largely we picked the ones that we loved.
Speaker 3: That's how Golden Retrievers came to be. They just they're
Speaker 3: not a naturally occur occurring thing. We picked dogs that
Speaker 3: we loved and and you know, dogs are extremely expressive,
Speaker 3: and of all the animals out there, they're the ones
Speaker 3: that are extremely generous with eye contact. So when you
Speaker 3: look at them, it feels like they're staring into your soul,
Speaker 3: which they basically are. And so that dopamine hit, that
Speaker 3: oxytocin that you get from just being around a dog
Speaker 3: and having eye contact and feeling the sense of being
Speaker 3: in the present, existing and pure love is something.
Speaker 2: I didn't want people to take for granted.
Speaker 3: And that's sort of my top line mission as the
Speaker 3: Doggist is to help us appreciate dogs more than we
Speaker 3: already do.
Speaker 2: And of course no amount of obsession is enough.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break, but when we return,
Speaker 1: Elias and I will explore the science of why dogs
Speaker 1: can be so good for you. Dog photographer Elias Weiss
Speaker 1: Friedman used his pup to navigate the shyness of his childhood.
Speaker 1: Later on in life, dogs gave him a fulfilling career
Speaker 1: path after he got fired. Dogs can indeed be a
Speaker 1: glimmer of light in our darkest days, which is why
Speaker 1: when times are very tough, so many of us think
Speaker 1: about getting one.
Speaker 3: The stat that I always think of around that is like,
Speaker 3: after nine to eleven happened in New York, the population
Speaker 3: of dogs doubled in the city. Something similar happened with
Speaker 3: a pandemic, and you said, I can curse on the
Speaker 3: show at least.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The thing, the thing I imagine is going through people's
Speaker 3: minds is like when something bad happens, when it seems
Speaker 3: like the world is ending or something, people are like,
Speaker 3: fuck it, I'm going to get a dog. What am
Speaker 3: I waiting for? Why am I delaying happiness? I've been
Speaker 3: working this job for ten years. I'm not happy. Maybe
Speaker 3: it's all for nothing. Maybe if I could just die
Speaker 3: the next day, you know, why not? I just be
Speaker 3: happy now? And so that's when people get dogs, because
Speaker 3: it's like, let's do this now.
Speaker 2: Havebnout that I love.
Speaker 1: That, And if it's with so much of what the
Speaker 1: science shows this, which is that dogs have all these
Speaker 1: benefits both for our health and our happiness. Let's just
Speaker 1: start with our health. You know, researchers talk about this
Speaker 1: so called pet effect where you get double digit reductions
Speaker 1: and things like heart disease and even like other risk
Speaker 1: factors for dying just by having a dog. And you
Speaker 1: talked about this in your book, with this idea that
Speaker 1: dogs help our physical health because they get us moving,
Speaker 1: just something you saw even as a shy kid, right.
Speaker 3: They get us out of the apartment, they get us walking.
Speaker 3: I mean, it seems sort of like it's almost like
Speaker 3: a boring fact, but it's so real.
Speaker 1: There's also like a real ritual to the dog walk too,
Speaker 1: that you've talked about, that it's not just kind of
Speaker 1: getting outside, but you're kind of doing something that has
Speaker 1: this present ritual quality.
Speaker 3: Like if we didn't have our dog, we would sleep
Speaker 3: in probably and our circadium rhythms would be off. We'd
Speaker 3: probably drink more because we be like, oh, we've no responsibilities.
Speaker 3: We get sunlight at the beginning of the day, We
Speaker 3: establish relationships with people in our neighborhood. One of the
Speaker 3: things I've been saying recently. And I may sound like
Speaker 3: a broken record because I've been saying it is before
Speaker 3: you get a dog, you know your neighbor, and after
Speaker 3: you get a dog, you know you're a neighborhood. Like
Speaker 3: for all the intangible things that dogs do for us,
Speaker 3: there are some very real tangible ones. They get you
Speaker 3: out and you meet ten people, and so you take
Speaker 3: the dog away, you're staying inside on your computer and
Speaker 3: you meet zero people or maybe one person on the internet,
Speaker 3: which counts for half a point.
Speaker 1: And this seems to be one of the real profound
Speaker 1: things that dogs do is that they can kind of
Speaker 1: be this social lubricant. In your book, you talk about
Speaker 1: the importance of dog assisted conversations. What do you mean
Speaker 1: there and why can those be so important?
Speaker 3: Yeah, dogs are fur icebreakers. People are passing each other
Speaker 3: on the street. They probably are like ships in the night.
Speaker 3: They don't say hi to one another. But like you know,
Speaker 3: two people walking their dogs, their dogs.
Speaker 2: Are going to say hi.
Speaker 3: They're going to be interested, and then all of a
Speaker 3: sudden you're striking up a conversation. They're the spark that
Speaker 3: are creating and catalyzing this social interaction.
Speaker 2: What else is going to do that.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's like people will go to the bar,
Speaker 3: they'll go to like social events, and maybe that'll happen,
Speaker 3: but on a daily basis, like as a daily routine
Speaker 3: of walking your dog, there's nothing else like it.
Speaker 1: This is something you've also seen just in your role
Speaker 1: of taking pictures of people's dogs. You've mentioned how even
Speaker 1: though at first people are kind of like a bit
Speaker 1: weirded out by you showing up and talking to them,
Speaker 1: ultimately you get the sense that they're kind of relieved
Speaker 1: to have someone to talk to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people like talking to another person, even if they
Speaker 3: don't seem that way, Like from five feet away, people
Speaker 3: want to engage.
Speaker 2: You know that the Internet and the society.
Speaker 3: That we've become where we're glued to our phones, sense
Speaker 3: of like loneliness is so high, where like how much
Speaker 3: eye contact and conversation do you have in person? But
Speaker 3: anymore we're starved of it. This is like the weird
Speaker 3: state of society right now where you can totally get
Speaker 3: away with not talking to people. And so here I
Speaker 3: am the sort of random person who wants to say
Speaker 3: hi to your dog, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 3: is asking you a question and wants to know your
Speaker 3: opinion and wants you to tell a story and I
Speaker 3: just stop talking and let you talk, and they're like, what,
Speaker 3: it's my turn, Like I have the microphone. This is
Speaker 3: kind of cool, like I've I'm happy that you're letting
Speaker 3: me tell a story. And also the stories are about
Speaker 3: our dogs are like the one type of story we
Speaker 3: feel totally liberated to give every detail about. You know,
Speaker 3: when we're talking about ourselves or we're talking about people
Speaker 3: we know, we're like, well, I don't know if they'll
Speaker 3: want me to say that, or I shouldn't say that
Speaker 3: about myself, or like how will people judge me or
Speaker 3: think of me? But with the dog, it's like let
Speaker 3: me tell you that one. You know, like how like
Speaker 3: freeing and fun is that to just laugh and like
Speaker 3: connect with someone about a story and just include every detail.
Speaker 2: And I know that.
Speaker 3: People will like me for this story that I'm telling,
Speaker 3: Like you know, a lot of people know the dogs
Speaker 3: at this point, and they know like that their dog
Speaker 3: is going to be seen by a lot of people
Speaker 3: and the story is going to be heard, and it's
Speaker 3: just sort of like it's awesome to I'm sure be
Speaker 3: the person to sort of share something authentic and also
Speaker 3: watch people be authentic.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean this is something that we know from
Speaker 1: some of the research, right, which is that what really
Speaker 1: connects people are these like deep, very vulnerable conversations where
Speaker 1: you show your messy self and you kind of take
Speaker 1: some humor in that, right, But it can be really
Speaker 1: hard to do just talking about yourself. But somehow the
Speaker 1: dot when you're talking about your dog, you can do that,
Speaker 1: and it sometimes leads to kind of vulnerabilities about yourself
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't share either, because you start with the
Speaker 1: dog and then it kind of leaks into you talking
Speaker 1: about yourself.
Speaker 2: It's all connected.
Speaker 3: You know, a story about our dog is also really
Speaker 3: a story about us, you know, unconditional love and helping
Speaker 3: them meet their significant other. You know, we're such good
Speaker 3: like detectives of when people are bullshitting. You know, we
Speaker 3: watch someone and talk and it's like, I don't know
Speaker 3: about themselves, but the way people light up and let
Speaker 3: their hair down when they're talking about their dogs and laughing,
Speaker 3: and it's just sort of like charming to watch.
Speaker 1: You've also found that kind of connecting over dogs can
Speaker 1: really help us get over our political differences.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I you know, I'm always like looking at the
Speaker 3: dog first when I'm walking around. So I saw a
Speaker 3: German shepherd and like, oh, beautiful dog. I asked them,
Speaker 3: they take a photo of your dog?
Speaker 2: It sure?
Speaker 3: And he, you know, he turns around. He's like wearing
Speaker 3: a big Trump shirt. And you know, in New York City,
Speaker 3: walking around with that, you're sort of like asking for attention.
Speaker 3: And so I'm like, oh, he's making a political statement,
Speaker 3: and like that's not what the dogs is about, and
Speaker 3: I like to keep it sort of a political But
Speaker 3: then the second thought was just like, we're just talking
Speaker 3: about his dog here. Why do I need to like
Speaker 3: get political with this, Like I'm making it political. You know,
Speaker 3: let's just be humans here. Forget the shirt and we
Speaker 3: connected about the dog. The dog save the day. You know,
Speaker 3: it was a reminder of how important is that we
Speaker 3: don't be at odds with each other, and dogs help
Speaker 3: us not be at odds with each other. I've heard
Speaker 3: so many stories about people across party lines who when
Speaker 3: they find out that someone who they might be opposed
Speaker 3: to politically is a dog person, you know, they can
Speaker 3: get along now. It's like we have common ground, Like
Speaker 3: you're cool, that's healthy politics. Right, we can disagree and
Speaker 3: still hear each other out, you know.
Speaker 1: And so that's how dogs can connect us with one another.
Speaker 1: But another thing we get from dogs also is just
Speaker 1: the social support and the connection that they give us directly.
Speaker 1: And this seems like something you've heard most on the
Speaker 1: dog is you talk about if there is one message
Speaker 1: you get from all the kind of dog lovers you've met,
Speaker 1: it's just this idea of unconditional love.
Speaker 3: Ask people point blank, like, what's your favorite thing about
Speaker 3: having a dog, It's like almost ninety percent they'll say, like,
Speaker 3: it's when I come home and the dog is just
Speaker 3: so happy to see me. Because sometimes we feel stressed
Speaker 3: during the day, it affects our mood. But when we
Speaker 3: come home and there's someone who doesn't know what happened
Speaker 3: to us that day, and it's just so unconditionally happy
Speaker 3: to see us and isn't asking questions about the work
Speaker 3: drama or how the presentation go. There's just something very
Speaker 3: soothing and comforting about that. That consistent happiness we can
Speaker 3: expect and we can plan on it that sort of
Speaker 3: washes away the anxiety we may have.
Speaker 2: It's like one hundred percent of the time, Kida, you
Speaker 2: know kind of belly rub like how are you? That
Speaker 2: is such a mood enhancer.
Speaker 1: There's also lots of evidence that it really literally decreases
Speaker 1: our stress and our level of pain. One of my
Speaker 1: favorite studies had participants like put their hand in this
Speaker 1: so called cold presser task, which is like you actually
Speaker 1: put your hand in the super super cold water that
Speaker 1: puts you in pretty terrible pain, and you either have
Speaker 1: a dog present or not, and they find that you
Speaker 1: literally experience less pain when you have a dog present.
Speaker 1: So it seems like all the anxieties of work, all
Speaker 1: that stuff, we come home and they're literally helping us
Speaker 1: through it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not surprised by that. And they're extremely intuitive
Speaker 3: about our emotional state. I'm pretty sure they can like
Speaker 3: smell it. I just did a talk at Harvard and
Speaker 3: they have this lab there where they did an empathy
Speaker 3: test where I pretended to hit my finger with a
Speaker 3: hammer and I faked it and started crying, you know,
Speaker 3: like ahow, and the dog came running up and licked
Speaker 3: me on the face. Dogs are extremely empathetic. They know
Speaker 3: when things aren't going well, they know when you need love.
Speaker 2: They will give it to you whenever you need it,
Speaker 2: and we need it more often these days, I think.
Speaker 1: And I think that's another thing we forget that dogs
Speaker 1: can give us, That dogs can connect us better to ourselves.
Speaker 1: They can kind of model how we should be treating ourselves.
Speaker 1: And I know this is something you talk about a lot.
Speaker 1: You've argued that dogs can make us a little bit
Speaker 1: less self conscious, which is helpful and kind of maybe
Speaker 1: less self critical too. What do you mean there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we see the way that dogs are
Speaker 3: free with themselves, how they are totally candid. They express
Speaker 3: their emotions, whether it's fear or happiness or confused or sadness,
Speaker 3: without any hesitation about the way they're perceived. You know,
Speaker 3: I don't know that dogs have a sense of humor,
Speaker 3: but I think I think they do. You know, like
Speaker 3: I feel like dogs would be like funny and just
Speaker 3: sort of like willing to be silly. Like you see
Speaker 3: the way dogs play with each other. And so when
Speaker 3: we see that, I don't know whether it's mirroring or something,
Speaker 3: or behavioral association, but we become more like that. We think, Okay,
Speaker 3: maybe it's okay to like just be ourselves, to not
Speaker 3: look in the mirror and question how it will be
Speaker 3: perceived by others. One of the stories I read about
Speaker 3: is my wife Sam and I went to a Halloween
Speaker 3: party and everyone was masked and we were all freely
Speaker 3: talking to one another and in our anonymity, like a
Speaker 3: dog would running into a dog park. And later on
Speaker 3: the night, this person we were talking to she took
Speaker 3: off her mask, and my wife Sam was all of
Speaker 3: a sudden started freaking out and she'd be like, you
Speaker 3: know who that is, That's like one of my heroes,
Speaker 3: like this famous person, And all of a sudden she was,
Speaker 3: you know, self conscious and like, oh, I don't know,
Speaker 3: like if I should talk to her. We'd already been
Speaker 3: talking to her for thirty minutes about bagels, you know,
Speaker 3: like what's the big deal. But dogs, they don't have
Speaker 3: an ego, you know, they have an ability to just
Speaker 3: be themselves, to run into the park and sniff butts
Speaker 3: and not worry about how that other dog may think
Speaker 3: of them. That initial sort of lack of fear around
Speaker 3: their reputation and being self conscious is something that we
Speaker 3: admire and we wish we could possess more. And that's
Speaker 3: probably the biggest reason why I gravitated towards dogs, because
Speaker 3: I was shy, and dogs aren't shy, And just by
Speaker 3: being at the other end of the leash of a dog, you,
Speaker 3: by proxy, you just become less shy, you know, more social.
Speaker 1: It's time for another break, but we'll be back soon
Speaker 1: to discuss the surprising ways that dogs can help us
Speaker 1: heal after trauma. The Happiness Lab will be back in
Speaker 1: a moment, and his role is social media sensation. That
Speaker 1: dog is Elias Wiss. Free Men had the privilege of
Speaker 1: photographing hundreds of dogs each year, but Elias's fame has
Speaker 1: also given him the chance to meet some very special
Speaker 1: pops service dogs, dogs that are individually trained to help
Speaker 1: people with health issues or disabilities. These encounters have had
Speaker 1: a huge impact on Elias. In his book This Dog
Speaker 1: Will Change Your Life, he describes one such meeting with
Speaker 1: a woman named Sharon.
Speaker 3: Sharon, she was an army nurse and as an army nurse,
Speaker 3: you see people in their worst moments of their lives,
Speaker 3: right you can only imagine, and so when you come back,
Speaker 3: those memories don't go away. And so this woman had
Speaker 3: a dog from America's Vet Dogs who basically helps her
Speaker 3: with a PTSD and nightmare interruption and dog will turn
Speaker 3: the lights on so that she doesn't have to enter
Speaker 3: a dark room. So yeah, you know, I've worked with
Speaker 3: America's Vet Dogs a number of times over the years
Speaker 3: and scheduled this series, you know, for veterans. And so
Speaker 3: I went to Sharon's house in New Jersey and everything
Speaker 3: was just sort of like normal, Like she was just
Speaker 3: talking to me like a regular person and telling me
Speaker 3: what her dog did for her.
Speaker 2: And it was not very dramatic. You know.
Speaker 3: Later in the day we ended up at Later in
Speaker 3: the day, we ended up at the headquarters and I
Speaker 3: was speaking with America's Bet Dog CEO and she said, oh,
Speaker 3: I heard you met up with Sharon earlier. And said, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: and you know, recounted it a little bit and she said,
Speaker 3: you know that Sharon used to be nonverbal and she
Speaker 3: would shake.
Speaker 2: And sorry, it gets to me like it's talking about.
Speaker 3: It, but like that, that's that's what her dog did
Speaker 3: for her. So, through all the stuff that she's been
Speaker 3: through and state that she was in previously, to have
Speaker 3: a dog come in and just change who she is
Speaker 3: as a person, it's hard to quantify that, you know
Speaker 3: the power of a dog that to take someone who
Speaker 3: is completely non functional, make them appear normal, Like, how
Speaker 3: do you how do you quantify that?
Speaker 1: You've also seen this again and again with dogs who've
Speaker 1: been working with veterans. I know you've talked about Nathan,
Speaker 1: another retired vet from the Air Force. You know, how
Speaker 1: did his dog help him?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Nathan, he worked, as he would say, in nukes in
Speaker 3: the nuclear division. And the one thing you have to
Speaker 3: be to work in that space is one hundred percent
Speaker 3: good all the time.
Speaker 2: Are you okay? Yes?
Speaker 3: So that's like being a robot basically, And Nathan wasn't
Speaker 3: always okay. It's so intense, like you can't even have advil.
Speaker 3: And so for his whole career that's the way he
Speaker 3: had to be. And you know, he had all types
Speaker 3: of like physical ailments because of a number of hours
Speaker 3: he had to be at the controls. And so when
Speaker 3: he retired, how do you like deprogram all that training
Speaker 3: and live in a relationship with someone and be a
Speaker 3: human again after you know, what if you're not okay?
Speaker 3: And so he became like a shut in and like
Speaker 3: was completely a social all had all types of fear
Speaker 3: of things, and only he could articulate all those details.
Speaker 3: But he knew he needed help, and as a veteran,
Speaker 3: he reached out to this organization of America's Vet Dogs
Speaker 3: and he got this dog.
Speaker 2: Fast forward a couple of years.
Speaker 3: He's now a public speaker and is like the most outgoing,
Speaker 3: big personality, you know, he's.
Speaker 2: Like a mohawk.
Speaker 3: He's a totally different person, or rather he is his
Speaker 3: true self instead of a scared person who's affected by PTSD.
Speaker 3: And so once again, the dog isn't doing all types
Speaker 3: of magic tricks, and it's all in the subtlety and
Speaker 3: in the nuances of living with a dog, and little
Speaker 3: by little they chip away at these things that we
Speaker 3: create for ourselves so that we can live a better life.
Speaker 1: So it seems like dogs have all these benefits even
Speaker 1: in these extreme situations. But a lot of folks who
Speaker 1: kind of see these benefits, or maybe you're thinking about
Speaker 1: getting a dog, they don't actually take the plunge. And
Speaker 1: one of the things I loved about your story was
Speaker 1: it it surprisingly maybe it actually took you a while
Speaker 1: to take the plunge too. I think this is one
Speaker 1: of the dirty secrets of the early doggiest years, was
Speaker 1: that you yourself did not have a dog.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, well, I was on dog hiatus.
Speaker 3: You know, I sort of saw myself as a bit
Speaker 3: of an artist, but I felt like a lot of
Speaker 3: my motivation came out of this dog stalgia where I
Speaker 3: missed having a dog.
Speaker 2: What would happen if I got a dog?
Speaker 3: Would I stop being the doggest Because I was driven
Speaker 3: to meet other people's dogs and to travel around the
Speaker 3: world and to try and meet as many dogs as possible.
Speaker 3: And also obviously having a dog requires a lot of
Speaker 3: responsibility and time. So I think there was just this
Speaker 3: period in my life where I was just sort of
Speaker 3: focused on building my career and exploring who I was
Speaker 3: as a person. And I had all the dogs, is
Speaker 3: what I would say when people had asked me that question.
Speaker 3: But I was still missing something, right, Like, it's hard
Speaker 3: to fully relate to other people and the relationship they
Speaker 3: have with their dog if you don't have one yourself,
Speaker 3: if you're not experiencing it yourself.
Speaker 2: So I grew up a bit, I matured.
Speaker 3: I mean it was during the pandemic that everything slowed
Speaker 3: down and things came into context, into focus, and I
Speaker 3: decided that I wanted to foster a dog, and then
Speaker 3: I met Elsa. She came you know, from Texas and
Speaker 3: on a rainy day, just like today, you know, she
Speaker 3: came in into our house and I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, oh crap, Like.
Speaker 2: She's amazing.
Speaker 1: Maybe just describe her for it.
Speaker 3: She's a beautiful husky mix, all white, with a toasted
Speaker 3: marshmallow top, two blue eyes, and a medium size. She's
Speaker 3: like about fifty pounds, although in all honesty, she's like
Speaker 3: fifty five pounds and needs to get back to fifty
Speaker 3: pounds according to the vet. She spends too much time
Speaker 3: at Grandma's house. And she's the best dog. You know,
Speaker 3: every dog is the best dog, but she's also the
Speaker 3: best dog. Extremely well behaved. She's non destructive and doesn't
Speaker 3: bark unless she's at the dog park, doesn't eat street
Speaker 3: treats off the ground.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's amazing.
Speaker 3: And you know, as the dog is, I was like,
Speaker 3: what type of dog will I end up with? Like,
Speaker 3: which is the dog for me? I've seen them all,
Speaker 3: but Elsa is the right dog for me. You know,
Speaker 3: she wasn't the dog I imagined sort of ending up with, Like,
Speaker 3: but now I'm a husky guy. I love huskies or
Speaker 3: husky mixes. They have a independent thinking mind. They're very smart.
Speaker 3: They keep you on your toes, they do shed a lot.
Speaker 3: Our vacuum gets a lot of use. You know, I've
Speaker 3: heard people say like, once you get a dog that's
Speaker 3: like very smart, then you're used to certain things, Like
Speaker 3: they just have like an adeptness through life that is
Speaker 3: sort of charming. And so I think I've gotten used
Speaker 3: to that. Like she's really like her own independent person.
Speaker 3: And you know, whenever we're having like chicken night or something,
Speaker 3: she would go up to sam my wife and you know.
Speaker 4: Mommy all got the big piece of chicken. Yet that's
Speaker 4: why I go to mo. Daddy had chicken too, but
Speaker 4: Mommy all give me the big pieces. Daddy gives me
Speaker 4: the small pieces. Not as good.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And so even for you, it took a while to
Speaker 1: maybe take the plunge. I know, what occupational hazard of
Speaker 1: your job is that people ask you for advice all
Speaker 1: the time about whether they should get a dog and
Speaker 1: picking a dog. When you think about all the benefits
Speaker 1: of having a dog, what advice would you give people
Speaker 1: who are thinking about taking the plunge.
Speaker 2: I think make sure you're ready.
Speaker 3: So many dogs that end up in shelters because people
Speaker 3: aren't ready, whether it's because they are seeing some trend
Speaker 3: on the internet around a certain breed, or a celebrity
Speaker 3: has one and oh, I want that dog then, or
Speaker 3: maybe the kids want a dog for the holidays. But
Speaker 3: then the dog grows up and you haven't socialized or
Speaker 3: trained it properly, and now it's sort of eating your apartment.
Speaker 3: Like there's a whole bunch of things that you have
Speaker 3: to be careful about and be responsible about. So I
Speaker 3: think the first thing is, you know, researching what it
Speaker 3: means to be a dog owner, what is required?
Speaker 2: Can you afford to have a dog?
Speaker 3: You know they're not as expensive as kids, but you
Speaker 3: know you have to bring your dog to the vet.
Speaker 3: Dog food can be expensive. And then if you check
Speaker 3: all those boxes and you're truly sort of ready to
Speaker 3: have a dog, and I think there's no like good
Speaker 3: time to have a dog.
Speaker 2: Now is a good time if you're ready.
Speaker 3: I love the idea of fostering a dog from a
Speaker 3: rescue group because you get an idea of what that
Speaker 3: dog will be like to live with and you can
Speaker 3: try it out for a minute while doing an important service,
Speaker 3: which is to help alleviate the shelter system. If you
Speaker 3: have a dog for a couple of weeks and you say, oh,
Speaker 3: like this is great. I love the feeling of this.
Speaker 3: Follow your heart, you know. I think there's so many
Speaker 3: ways to end up in a good situation with a dog,
Speaker 3: as long as you're being responsible about it and you
Speaker 3: do plenty of research. You know, if you do decide
Speaker 3: that you want, you know, a puppy from a particular breed,
Speaker 3: you should not be able to get that dog next weekend,
Speaker 3: which is what a lot of people I think fall
Speaker 3: prey too, is this sort of like oh, we want
Speaker 3: like this gold noodle or something, and we can go
Speaker 3: next week and when we're free. Like, that's a little
Speaker 3: bit too impulsive in my book. You know, I've seen
Speaker 3: the shelter systems how overcrowded they are. So I'm always
Speaker 3: a proponent of if your heart isn't set on something
Speaker 3: so specific, then oftentimes the best dog is already there
Speaker 3: waiting for you. A lot of those dogs are mutts,
Speaker 3: you know, they're one of a kind, interesting dogs. A
Speaker 3: lot of them are are adults, so you know what
Speaker 3: they're like already there, they're sort of temperament's already established.
Speaker 3: You know what you're getting into And there's also this
Speaker 3: sort of serendipitous cosmic thing that happens when you save
Speaker 3: a dog from effectively they could be euthanized. Seriously, you
Speaker 3: have a special relationship with that dog, and I think
Speaker 3: that they know that you save them from that, that
Speaker 3: you took them out of a place that was uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Dogs aren't meant to live in kennels. They're social beings.
Speaker 3: They're meant to live in the outside and get to
Speaker 3: know their family and have a couch and predictability. So
Speaker 3: if you put all those things together, that's sort of
Speaker 3: the best way to go about it.
Speaker 1: In my opinion, dogs gives so many better I'm just
Speaker 1: wondering what you think a world without dogs would look like.
Speaker 3: If you take dogs away, that would not be good.
Speaker 3: Like hopefully that never happens. I think the world would
Speaker 3: not be a better place. It would be more depressing.
Speaker 3: We would go for a fewer walks, we would laugh
Speaker 3: a lot less, we would spend less time vacuuming.
Speaker 2: That's one thing. I guess it would be a weird world.
Speaker 1: Let's hope we never do have to live in a
Speaker 1: world without dogs, because they are pretty awesome. But in
Speaker 1: the unlikely event that you're not a dog person or
Speaker 1: you're allergic to them. There's still a lot you can
Speaker 1: take away from Elias and his story, because dogs are
Speaker 1: a great reminder that the best way to cope is
Speaker 1: often getting back to the happiness fundamentals. Whether without a dog,
Speaker 1: you should get outside and get active, don't worry about
Speaker 1: being goofy or vulnerable, find new ways to play and
Speaker 1: get more present, and above all, make sure you excitedly
Speaker 1: meet and greet the people around you, just like a
Speaker 1: dog in a dog park would. While you work on that,
Speaker 1: I'll be hard at work on the next episode in
Speaker 1: our special season on creative coping strategies, in which we'll
Speaker 1: focus on the surprising power of ritual and etiquette. Oh
Speaker 1: and napkins, lots of napkins.
Speaker 2: Does everybody not have a napkin collection? They should. I
Speaker 2: can strongly advocate for having one.
Speaker 1: All that. Next time on the Happiness Lab with me,
Speaker 1: Doctor Laurie Santos,