1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:20,915 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. What 2 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:25,715 Speaker 1: happens if the Supreme Court, I'm sorry, if Trump's newest 3 00:00:25,795 --> 00:00:29,595 Speaker 1: super pack, John Roberts Treasurer. What happens if the Supreme 4 00:00:29,675 --> 00:00:33,355 Speaker 1: Court Incorporated takes the next step and not only listens 5 00:00:33,395 --> 00:00:38,315 Speaker 1: to his shroom high concept of presidential immunity late next 6 00:00:38,315 --> 00:00:41,315 Speaker 1: month in order to stall his trials, but actually creates 7 00:00:41,635 --> 00:00:46,995 Speaker 1: something called presidential immunity? What actually happens to this country 8 00:00:47,475 --> 00:00:51,835 Speaker 1: at that exact moment. I do not think the Court 9 00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:55,115 Speaker 1: is actually going to do that, hearing Trump's made up 10 00:00:55,195 --> 00:00:58,355 Speaker 1: argument starting April twenty second. But then again, I did 11 00:00:58,435 --> 00:01:00,795 Speaker 1: not think even Alito and Clarence Thomas and Roberts and 12 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:03,515 Speaker 1: the three Trump whars were so corrupt that they would 13 00:01:03,555 --> 00:01:06,235 Speaker 1: turn the Court into another Trump property, And they have 14 00:01:06,315 --> 00:01:10,475 Speaker 1: done that by stalling on Trump's behalf. No fate is 15 00:01:10,595 --> 00:01:14,875 Speaker 1: too painful for them. I still think the stall is 16 00:01:14,915 --> 00:01:19,555 Speaker 1: the point not granting all presidents immunity from all prosecutions 17 00:01:19,915 --> 00:01:23,675 Speaker 1: for all time. But again, the stall itself raises the question, 18 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,315 Speaker 1: exactly what the hell do I know? Exactly what the 19 00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:29,315 Speaker 1: hell do any of us know? But let me present 20 00:01:29,395 --> 00:01:32,875 Speaker 1: this grim silver lining in the form of that rhetorical 21 00:01:32,955 --> 00:01:35,555 Speaker 1: question with which I just began. You think about it, 22 00:01:36,035 --> 00:01:38,875 Speaker 1: I'll think about it. I'll address it at length at 23 00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:42,195 Speaker 1: the start of the new week. What happens to the 24 00:01:42,315 --> 00:01:45,195 Speaker 1: nature of this country? What happens to the nature of 25 00:01:45,315 --> 00:01:49,755 Speaker 1: our government? What happens to the nature of the presidency? 26 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:53,995 Speaker 1: If the Supreme Court actually rules no president can be 27 00:01:54,115 --> 00:02:02,315 Speaker 1: prosecuted for official acts? What happens that instant? And combine 28 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:05,955 Speaker 1: that with not a rhetorical question but a simple factual one, 29 00:02:06,515 --> 00:02:10,435 Speaker 1: the day the Supreme Court effectively turns the President of 30 00:02:10,475 --> 00:02:17,275 Speaker 1: the United States into a king? Who will be the 31 00:02:17,315 --> 00:02:25,955 Speaker 1: president of the United States? That day? Back to the 32 00:02:25,995 --> 00:02:28,955 Speaker 1: here and now, I'm looking for more on what followed 33 00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:34,155 Speaker 1: the court turning from scotus to trump scrotum. There were 34 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,875 Speaker 1: two waves of commentary from the left that followed, not 35 00:02:36,915 --> 00:02:40,235 Speaker 1: from the court analysts, nor correspondents, not political analysts or 36 00:02:40,275 --> 00:02:42,875 Speaker 1: even known pundits, but from what we might call the 37 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:46,275 Speaker 1: adjacent community. Anonymous posters who claim to have worked in 38 00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:51,395 Speaker 1: Trump's quote administration unquote, seemingly insightful analysts who hide their identities. 39 00:02:52,595 --> 00:02:56,155 Speaker 1: Wave one the key figure in the survival or destruction 40 00:02:56,235 --> 00:03:00,435 Speaker 1: of this nation is now Judge Tanya Chutkin, because she 41 00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:04,635 Speaker 1: still has opportunities to re accelerate Trump's trial no matter 42 00:03:04,875 --> 00:03:07,835 Speaker 1: how long the court stalls. I have not seen Ryan 43 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:11,475 Speaker 1: Goodman or anybody else at just Security or similar creators 44 00:03:11,475 --> 00:03:16,355 Speaker 1: of expected judicial timelines chime in. I have seen Lawrence 45 00:03:16,435 --> 00:03:19,515 Speaker 1: Tribe predict that Trump will now use similar motions to 46 00:03:19,555 --> 00:03:25,275 Speaker 1: get all his trials stalled by his Supreme Court. The 47 00:03:25,315 --> 00:03:30,435 Speaker 1: second wave of responses was even farther out there, anything 48 00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:34,115 Speaker 1: farther further, and we can hope it is true, But bluntly, 49 00:03:34,155 --> 00:03:36,955 Speaker 1: I have not seen any evidence of it, namely that 50 00:03:36,995 --> 00:03:39,475 Speaker 1: Special Counsel Jack Smith got his indictments of Trump and 51 00:03:39,475 --> 00:03:42,275 Speaker 1: the two Mari Lago co defendants out as quickly as 52 00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:45,155 Speaker 1: he could, but that a lot of other cases were 53 00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:49,435 Speaker 1: held back to not crowd the dockets and not crowd 54 00:03:49,475 --> 00:03:53,595 Speaker 1: the marketplace of ideas. And thus Smith's response to the 55 00:03:53,635 --> 00:03:58,875 Speaker 1: obvious prosecutorial interference by the Supreme Court and election interference 56 00:03:58,915 --> 00:04:01,475 Speaker 1: by the Supreme Court would be to open the vault 57 00:04:01,835 --> 00:04:06,915 Speaker 1: and indict everyone, or, as my friend Gary Oldman said, 58 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:13,235 Speaker 1: it bring me everyone. You mean everyone, starting with the 59 00:04:13,315 --> 00:04:17,875 Speaker 1: unindicted co conspirators. In the subversion case, Rudy Giuliani, John Eastman, 60 00:04:17,915 --> 00:04:21,395 Speaker 1: Sydney Pal, Jeffrey Clarke, Kenny the Cheese, and presumably Boris Epstein. 61 00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:25,275 Speaker 1: But that, of course is not the name that everybody 62 00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:29,795 Speaker 1: wants to see indicted now in some Smithian ireruption of 63 00:04:29,955 --> 00:04:36,275 Speaker 1: righteous everyone indignation, and that name would be Jenny Thomas. 64 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:42,035 Speaker 1: My sense is that there actually is not a material 65 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:46,515 Speaker 1: case against her. But what the hell does that mean anymore? 66 00:04:47,115 --> 00:04:50,235 Speaker 1: This Supreme Court just did what it did. This Supreme 67 00:04:50,275 --> 00:04:54,675 Speaker 1: Court could let me be imprisoned for life for changing 68 00:04:54,715 --> 00:04:58,475 Speaker 1: the part in my hair, but just an action against 69 00:04:58,555 --> 00:05:01,475 Speaker 1: Jenny Thomas would create the scenario in which the Supreme 70 00:05:01,515 --> 00:05:05,635 Speaker 1: Court was ruling on a case directly involving the wife 71 00:05:05,715 --> 00:05:08,755 Speaker 1: of one of the justices, and even they would be 72 00:05:08,835 --> 00:05:13,635 Speaker 1: hard pressed to get away with that. Stepping back from 73 00:05:13,635 --> 00:05:16,195 Speaker 1: political science fiction for a moment, even with an Illinois 74 00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:19,555 Speaker 1: judge striking Trump from the Republican primary ballot, there, I 75 00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:22,355 Speaker 1: think we can pretty much flush the idea that these 76 00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:26,315 Speaker 1: justices are going to not find an excuse to pretend 77 00:05:26,515 --> 00:05:29,155 Speaker 1: the third section of the Fourteenth Amendment does not say 78 00:05:29,555 --> 00:05:33,995 Speaker 1: what it says Trump is a trader. He engaged in 79 00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:38,435 Speaker 1: a treasonous attempt to overthrow the government. Putin is somewhere 80 00:05:38,475 --> 00:05:42,475 Speaker 1: in the background. He and those behind Trump have no 81 00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:46,995 Speaker 1: interest in maintaining anything resembling democracy or any America not 82 00:05:47,075 --> 00:05:50,275 Speaker 1: ruled by Trump and those he permits to live. And 83 00:05:50,355 --> 00:05:52,355 Speaker 1: he should have been arrested at twelve oh one pm 84 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,595 Speaker 1: on January twenty at twenty twenty one, and he should 85 00:05:54,595 --> 00:05:57,595 Speaker 1: now either be inside a supermax prison or have not 86 00:05:57,715 --> 00:06:04,315 Speaker 1: been treated so leniently. It's clear the constitutional scholars and 87 00:06:04,355 --> 00:06:07,955 Speaker 1: the art conservatives and the arch liberals and anybody else 88 00:06:07,995 --> 00:06:11,875 Speaker 1: who's ever actually read the Constitution would get a more 89 00:06:11,995 --> 00:06:15,755 Speaker 1: nuanced and just ruling on this from a panel at 90 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:22,875 Speaker 1: sea pack than from the sewer that is our Supreme Court. 91 00:06:23,755 --> 00:06:26,795 Speaker 1: One more abrupt change of topic here. I do not 92 00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:29,795 Speaker 1: have much use for the think tank Third Way, which 93 00:06:29,835 --> 00:06:32,315 Speaker 1: sure looks like its idea of a third Way is 94 00:06:32,355 --> 00:06:36,635 Speaker 1: making democrats do republican stuff on behalf of corporations. But 95 00:06:36,715 --> 00:06:40,475 Speaker 1: I also do not have much use for just dismissing 96 00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:45,275 Speaker 1: polling data that seems even vaguely reliable if that data 97 00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:50,315 Speaker 1: can do anything to help save the democracy. Third Way 98 00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:54,675 Speaker 1: says it has commissioned Lake research to pull one thousand 99 00:06:54,995 --> 00:07:00,315 Speaker 1: likely voters in battleground congressional districts and oversample likely Latino 100 00:07:00,435 --> 00:07:03,795 Speaker 1: voters in those districts by one hundred and fifty. And 101 00:07:03,835 --> 00:07:06,795 Speaker 1: the topic is the border. I do not think any 102 00:07:06,795 --> 00:07:09,755 Speaker 1: of the results from this poll vary significantly from any 103 00:07:09,795 --> 00:07:13,155 Speaker 1: other recent polling about it. I do think all of 104 00:07:13,195 --> 00:07:16,195 Speaker 1: these numbers reflect something that you may or may not 105 00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:20,755 Speaker 1: have experienced at first hand. The stunt bussing and flying 106 00:07:21,155 --> 00:07:25,435 Speaker 1: of asylum seekers and others to major cities in blue states, 107 00:07:25,835 --> 00:07:30,435 Speaker 1: as galling and as reprehensible and as inhumane as it 108 00:07:30,435 --> 00:07:37,715 Speaker 1: has been has worked for the Republicans. Border and immigration concerns, fears, 109 00:07:38,155 --> 00:07:43,595 Speaker 1: phobias are now local and practical matters in the bluest 110 00:07:43,635 --> 00:07:48,355 Speaker 1: cities in the bluest states. This does not speak well 111 00:07:48,395 --> 00:07:52,235 Speaker 1: for humanity. And on the other hand, we don't get 112 00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:56,715 Speaker 1: to overrule what humanity does or does not do. Our 113 00:07:56,795 --> 00:08:02,115 Speaker 1: goal is to save democracy and fix humanity later. The 114 00:08:02,155 --> 00:08:07,995 Speaker 1: Third Way poll suggests something that might help the swing district. 115 00:08:08,075 --> 00:08:11,955 Speaker 1: Voters of all stripes believe the Republicans have a better 116 00:08:12,115 --> 00:08:16,995 Speaker 1: approach to this entire issue by forty seven to thirty two. 117 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:22,755 Speaker 1: That's not surprising. It's a little larger than it has been, 118 00:08:23,515 --> 00:08:28,315 Speaker 1: except the undecided number is huge. Forty seven to thirty 119 00:08:28,315 --> 00:08:32,955 Speaker 1: two means over twenty percent. Even more relevant, the deal 120 00:08:33,035 --> 00:08:39,675 Speaker 1: that Trump just killed. Every demographic group surveyed supports its 121 00:08:39,755 --> 00:08:46,435 Speaker 1: components overwhelmingly. When one of the lowest scores is sixty 122 00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:51,675 Speaker 1: four percent of Independence support guaranteed legal counsel for unaccompanied children, 123 00:08:51,995 --> 00:08:56,475 Speaker 1: sixty percent of Independent support temporary work permits for asylum seekers. 124 00:08:56,675 --> 00:09:00,555 Speaker 1: When those are the low scores, this is data worth 125 00:09:00,595 --> 00:09:05,755 Speaker 1: looking at. The upshot is if you add independence, who 126 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:08,675 Speaker 1: has the better approach to immigration and the border? They 127 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,635 Speaker 1: side with the GOP by twenty four points. If you 128 00:09:11,715 --> 00:09:13,955 Speaker 1: then explain to them all the components of the deal 129 00:09:13,995 --> 00:09:17,155 Speaker 1: Trump killed, and you say, the Democrats already agreed to this, 130 00:09:18,355 --> 00:09:24,275 Speaker 1: those same independents change their answers and they say, no, 131 00:09:24,435 --> 00:09:27,115 Speaker 1: the Democrats have the better plan then, and they say 132 00:09:27,115 --> 00:09:33,155 Speaker 1: it by seven points, a thirty one point swing on 133 00:09:33,195 --> 00:09:37,355 Speaker 1: what other surveys this week suggest is the key issue 134 00:09:37,355 --> 00:09:42,795 Speaker 1: for twenty eight percent of all voters, and it is 135 00:09:42,835 --> 00:09:48,875 Speaker 1: accomplished by changing nothing, basically, by owning the deal. Biden 136 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:55,395 Speaker 1: and the Democrats already you know, owned what's the conclusion. 137 00:09:56,475 --> 00:09:59,595 Speaker 1: Do what a poll commissioned by a corporate heavy left 138 00:09:59,595 --> 00:10:02,555 Speaker 1: of center but like two inches left of center think 139 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:06,955 Speaker 1: TAC just happened to produce? Now, the actual conclusion is 140 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:11,275 Speaker 1: Trump's campaign is largely based on the perception of chaos 141 00:10:11,275 --> 00:10:14,395 Speaker 1: at the border and inaction on the issues because of 142 00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:18,395 Speaker 1: Joe Biden. The solution is not to fight a blame war, 143 00:10:18,555 --> 00:10:20,955 Speaker 1: and I know what the President was trying to do yesterday. 144 00:10:22,035 --> 00:10:26,035 Speaker 1: The solution is for President Biden to as quickly as possible, say, 145 00:10:26,715 --> 00:10:30,635 Speaker 1: Democrats and Republicans have agreed how to fix the border 146 00:10:30,835 --> 00:10:36,155 Speaker 1: and immigration, but Donald Trump killed the deal because Donald 147 00:10:36,315 --> 00:10:40,475 Speaker 1: Trump wants the madness to continue, because Donald Trump wants 148 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,915 Speaker 1: the border opened, because Donald Trump wants the drugs in, 149 00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:49,355 Speaker 1: because Donald Trump fill in the blank. So I, President 150 00:10:49,435 --> 00:10:53,555 Speaker 1: Biden will enact by executive order as much of that 151 00:10:53,995 --> 00:11:00,075 Speaker 1: bipartisan compromise deal as I can myself right now. Have 152 00:11:00,155 --> 00:11:05,875 Speaker 1: a nice day. Act to reduce the chaos. Organize the 153 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:10,555 Speaker 1: border humanely, because again the other side wants to torture 154 00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:15,915 Speaker 1: the migrants and then kill a few of them. Organize 155 00:11:15,915 --> 00:11:18,955 Speaker 1: the border humanly, act to reduce the chaos, make a 156 00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:21,995 Speaker 1: big deal about stopping drugs at the border, even if 157 00:11:22,035 --> 00:11:25,195 Speaker 1: it's just that old local news trick in which the 158 00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:28,675 Speaker 1: cops load up a tiny table so full of seized 159 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:33,635 Speaker 1: drugs that the table collapses under the weight. Do some 160 00:11:33,915 --> 00:11:37,035 Speaker 1: things seem to do other things. Make a lot of 161 00:11:37,075 --> 00:11:39,875 Speaker 1: noise about everything you do or seem to do, and 162 00:11:40,155 --> 00:11:44,995 Speaker 1: own it. Say we the Democrats, me Joe Biden, we 163 00:11:45,155 --> 00:11:47,875 Speaker 1: are fixing the border, and Trump doesn't want us to. 164 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:55,515 Speaker 1: Like I said, build a Biden wall seven and one 165 00:11:55,715 --> 00:12:05,835 Speaker 1: half inches long. Forgive the brevity, Bluntley. I am still 166 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:08,795 Speaker 1: shattered after the passing of my friend Richard Lewis. This 167 00:12:09,155 --> 00:12:12,395 Speaker 1: very brief opening segment here just took a couple of 168 00:12:12,435 --> 00:12:14,635 Speaker 1: hours to write and record. And if you know me, 169 00:12:14,955 --> 00:12:18,275 Speaker 1: you already know that I work fast, and right now 170 00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:21,955 Speaker 1: I am not working fast. I am barely working at all. 171 00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:25,595 Speaker 1: By coincidence, earlier in the week, I recorded a new 172 00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:30,275 Speaker 1: episode of Fridays with Thurber his political fables. Appropriately enough, 173 00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:33,755 Speaker 1: they're terrific. I will also finish off baseball spring training 174 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,155 Speaker 1: week on Things I promised not to tell with the 175 00:12:36,195 --> 00:12:39,315 Speaker 1: tale of a local sportscaster in my days in Los 176 00:12:39,355 --> 00:12:44,075 Speaker 1: Angeles who wanted the Dodgers to sue to get a 177 00:12:44,155 --> 00:12:47,435 Speaker 1: judge to order that they the Dodgers must play in 178 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,835 Speaker 1: that year's World Series, even though they had lost the playoffs. 179 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:54,635 Speaker 1: But that's going to be it for the podcast today. 180 00:12:55,155 --> 00:12:56,675 Speaker 1: And I did want to thank you for all the 181 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:59,475 Speaker 1: words of comfort about Richard. They have helped me more 182 00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:02,155 Speaker 1: than you'll know. And there is one other thing that helps. 183 00:13:02,195 --> 00:13:04,555 Speaker 1: I mentioned yesterday that the night we met, Richard and 184 00:13:04,555 --> 00:13:07,755 Speaker 1: I I adopted each other as brothers. Well, if you 185 00:13:07,795 --> 00:13:10,035 Speaker 1: haven't seen this on social media, I urge you to 186 00:13:10,075 --> 00:13:15,035 Speaker 1: have a look. Richard had a huge family of adopted 187 00:13:15,075 --> 00:13:19,155 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters. How many people used the same language 188 00:13:19,235 --> 00:13:22,635 Speaker 1: I used about him yesterday, and he loved us all 189 00:13:23,475 --> 00:13:28,235 Speaker 1: and their reaction has warmed my heart and comforted me, 190 00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:32,035 Speaker 1: probably as much as anything could right at the moment. 191 00:13:33,475 --> 00:13:36,555 Speaker 1: Thurber is next. It's really good political stuff. If you 192 00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:39,435 Speaker 1: want to hit stop, though, I get it. Talk to 193 00:13:39,475 --> 00:13:48,955 Speaker 1: you Tuesday Fridays with Thurber and I have not done 194 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:53,635 Speaker 1: a bunch of the political fables lately, so let's dive 195 00:13:53,755 --> 00:13:57,235 Speaker 1: right in. Some of these got him into huge trouble 196 00:13:57,275 --> 00:13:59,915 Speaker 1: in the nineteen fifties, and I'm happy to think that 197 00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:02,755 Speaker 1: they would get him into huge trouble. In the twenty twenties, 198 00:14:03,715 --> 00:14:06,755 Speaker 1: we start with the lead political of them, just the 199 00:14:06,795 --> 00:14:10,235 Speaker 1: fun one, The Mouse who Went to the Country by 200 00:14:10,355 --> 00:14:14,955 Speaker 1: James Thurber. Once upon a Sunday there was a city 201 00:14:14,995 --> 00:14:17,635 Speaker 1: mouse who went to visit a country mouse. He hit 202 00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:19,915 Speaker 1: away on a train the country mouse had told him 203 00:14:19,915 --> 00:14:22,595 Speaker 1: to take, only to find that on Sundays it did 204 00:14:22,635 --> 00:14:25,915 Speaker 1: not stop at Beddington. Hence the city mouse could not 205 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:29,115 Speaker 1: get off at Beddington and catch a bus for Siebert's Junction, 206 00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:31,235 Speaker 1: where he was to be met by the country mouse. 207 00:14:31,795 --> 00:14:34,555 Speaker 1: The city mouse, in fact, was carried on to Middleburg, 208 00:14:34,955 --> 00:14:37,395 Speaker 1: where he waited three hours for a train to take 209 00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:40,075 Speaker 1: him back. When he got back to Beddington, he found 210 00:14:40,115 --> 00:14:43,155 Speaker 1: out that the last bus for Seebirch Junction had just left, 211 00:14:43,355 --> 00:14:45,715 Speaker 1: so he ran, and he ran, and he ran, and 212 00:14:45,755 --> 00:14:48,515 Speaker 1: he finally caught the bus and crept aboard, only to 213 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,795 Speaker 1: find out that it was not the bus for Seebrits 214 00:14:50,835 --> 00:14:53,595 Speaker 1: Junction at all, but was going in the opposite direction 215 00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:58,955 Speaker 1: through Pell's Hollow and Grum to a place called Whimberbee. 216 00:14:59,595 --> 00:15:01,875 Speaker 1: When the bus finally stopped, the city mouse got out 217 00:15:01,915 --> 00:15:03,955 Speaker 1: in a heavy rain and found that there were no 218 00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:08,155 Speaker 1: more buses than that night going anywhere. To the hell 219 00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:10,955 Speaker 1: with it, said the city mouse, and he walked back 220 00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:16,915 Speaker 1: to the city moral. Stay where you are, you're sitting pretty. 221 00:15:20,315 --> 00:15:25,355 Speaker 1: The Very Proper Gander by James Thurber. Not so very 222 00:15:25,395 --> 00:15:28,115 Speaker 1: long ago, there was a very fine gander. He was 223 00:15:28,155 --> 00:15:30,955 Speaker 1: strong and smooth and beautiful, and he spent most of 224 00:15:30,955 --> 00:15:35,235 Speaker 1: his time singing to his wife and children. One day 225 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,075 Speaker 1: somebody who saw him strutting up and down in his 226 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:42,355 Speaker 1: yard and singing, remarked, there is a very proper gander. 227 00:15:43,395 --> 00:15:46,835 Speaker 1: An old hen overheard this and told her husband about it. 228 00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:50,515 Speaker 1: That night in the roost they said something about propagander. 229 00:15:50,955 --> 00:15:54,875 Speaker 1: She said, I have always suspected that, said the rooster, 230 00:15:55,315 --> 00:15:57,915 Speaker 1: And he went around the barnyard next day, telling everybody 231 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,875 Speaker 1: that the very fine gander was a dangerous bird, more 232 00:16:00,915 --> 00:16:06,475 Speaker 1: than likely a hawk in gander's clothing. A small brown 233 00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:09,555 Speaker 1: hen remembered a time when, at a great distance she 234 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:14,115 Speaker 1: had seen the gander talking with some hawks in the forest. 235 00:16:14,955 --> 00:16:18,635 Speaker 1: They were apt to no good, she said. A duck 236 00:16:18,835 --> 00:16:21,155 Speaker 1: remembered that the gander had once told him he did 237 00:16:21,155 --> 00:16:24,235 Speaker 1: not believe in anything. He said, to hell with the 238 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:28,835 Speaker 1: flag too, said the duck. A guinea hen recalled that 239 00:16:28,915 --> 00:16:31,875 Speaker 1: she had once seen somebody who looked very much like 240 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,475 Speaker 1: the gander throw something that looked a great deal like 241 00:16:35,515 --> 00:16:40,675 Speaker 1: a bomb. Finally, everybody snatched up sticks and stones and 242 00:16:40,755 --> 00:16:43,835 Speaker 1: descended on the gander's house. He was strutting in his 243 00:16:43,835 --> 00:16:46,435 Speaker 1: front yard, singing to his children and his wife. There 244 00:16:46,475 --> 00:16:53,795 Speaker 1: he is, everybody, cried hawk lover, unbeliever, flag hater, bomb thrower. 245 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,715 Speaker 1: So they sat upon him and drove him out of 246 00:16:57,715 --> 00:17:02,155 Speaker 1: the country. Moral anybody who you or your wife thinks 247 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,835 Speaker 1: is going to overthrow the government by violence must be 248 00:17:04,995 --> 00:17:10,275 Speaker 1: driven out of the country. The very Proper Gander by 249 00:17:10,395 --> 00:17:16,035 Speaker 1: James Thurber. The Moth and the Star and I have 250 00:17:16,115 --> 00:17:20,795 Speaker 1: a tattoo pertaining to this one by James Thurber. A 251 00:17:20,835 --> 00:17:24,995 Speaker 1: young and impressionable moth once set his heart on a 252 00:17:24,995 --> 00:17:28,675 Speaker 1: certain star. He told his mother about this, and she 253 00:17:28,835 --> 00:17:31,595 Speaker 1: counseled him to set his heart on a bridge lamp instead. 254 00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:36,195 Speaker 1: Stars aren't the thing to hang around, she said. Lamps 255 00:17:36,275 --> 00:17:40,635 Speaker 1: say the thing to hang around. You get somewhere that way, 256 00:17:40,955 --> 00:17:44,555 Speaker 1: said the moth's father. You don't get anywhere chasing stars. 257 00:17:45,715 --> 00:17:48,155 Speaker 1: But the moth would not heed the words of either parent. 258 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:51,515 Speaker 1: Every evening at dusk, when the star came out, he 259 00:17:51,555 --> 00:17:54,355 Speaker 1: would start flying toward it, and every morning at dawn 260 00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:57,755 Speaker 1: he would crawl back home, worn out with his vain endeavor. 261 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,235 Speaker 1: One day his father said to him, you haven't burned 262 00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:04,035 Speaker 1: a wing in months, boy, and it looks to me 263 00:18:04,075 --> 00:18:06,835 Speaker 1: as if you're not, we're going to All your brothers 264 00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:10,035 Speaker 1: have been badly burned flying around street lamps, all your 265 00:18:10,075 --> 00:18:14,755 Speaker 1: sisters have been terribly singed flying around house lamps. Come on, now, 266 00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:18,515 Speaker 1: get out there and catch yourself scorched, big strip and 267 00:18:18,635 --> 00:18:21,915 Speaker 1: moth like you without a mock on him. The moth 268 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,835 Speaker 1: left his father's house, but he would not fly around 269 00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,675 Speaker 1: street lamps, and he would not fly around house lamps. 270 00:18:27,835 --> 00:18:30,995 Speaker 1: He went right on trying to reach the star, which 271 00:18:31,115 --> 00:18:34,515 Speaker 1: was four and one third light years or twenty five 272 00:18:34,755 --> 00:18:38,795 Speaker 1: trillion miles away. The moth thought it was just caught 273 00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:42,715 Speaker 1: in the top branches of an elm. He never did 274 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,075 Speaker 1: reach the star, but he went right on trying night 275 00:18:45,115 --> 00:18:48,155 Speaker 1: after night, and when he was a very very old moth, 276 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,995 Speaker 1: he began to think that he really had reached the star, 277 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:55,195 Speaker 1: and he went around saying so. This gave him a 278 00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:58,115 Speaker 1: deep and lasting pleasure, and he lived to a great 279 00:18:58,195 --> 00:19:01,835 Speaker 1: old age. His parents, and his brothers and his sisters 280 00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:06,315 Speaker 1: had all been burned to death when they were quite moral. 281 00:19:07,555 --> 00:19:11,795 Speaker 1: Who flies afar from the sphere of our sorrow? Is 282 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:17,955 Speaker 1: here today and here tomorrow? The Moth and the Star 283 00:19:18,355 --> 00:19:24,275 Speaker 1: by James Thurber Another one the owl who was God. 284 00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:28,835 Speaker 1: Once upon a starless midnight, there was an owl who 285 00:19:28,915 --> 00:19:31,955 Speaker 1: sat on the branch of an oak tree. Two ground 286 00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:37,275 Speaker 1: moles tried to slip quietly by unnoticed, you, said the owl. 287 00:19:37,555 --> 00:19:41,395 Speaker 1: Who They quavered in fear and astonishment, for they could 288 00:19:41,395 --> 00:19:43,235 Speaker 1: not believe it was possible for anyone to see them 289 00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:48,795 Speaker 1: in that thick darkness, You too, said the owl. The 290 00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:51,315 Speaker 1: moles hurried away and told the other creatures of the 291 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,795 Speaker 1: field and forest that the owl was the greatest and 292 00:19:53,835 --> 00:19:56,555 Speaker 1: wisest of all animals, because he could see in the dark, 293 00:19:56,915 --> 00:20:00,635 Speaker 1: and because he could answer any question. I'll see about that, 294 00:20:01,195 --> 00:20:03,875 Speaker 1: said a secretary bird, And he called on the owl 295 00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:06,555 Speaker 1: one night when it was again very dark. How many 296 00:20:06,715 --> 00:20:11,275 Speaker 1: claws am I houlding up? Said the secretary bird, too, 297 00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:14,155 Speaker 1: said the owl, and he was right. Can you give 298 00:20:14,155 --> 00:20:17,675 Speaker 1: me another expression, for that is to say, or namely 299 00:20:18,315 --> 00:20:23,035 Speaker 1: asked the secretary bird to wit, said the owl. Why 300 00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:26,115 Speaker 1: does a lover call on his love? Asked the secretary 301 00:20:26,155 --> 00:20:33,155 Speaker 1: bird to woo, said the owl. The secretary bird hastened 302 00:20:33,195 --> 00:20:35,395 Speaker 1: back to the other creatures and reported that the owl 303 00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:37,875 Speaker 1: was indeed the greatest and wisest animal in the world, 304 00:20:37,915 --> 00:20:39,555 Speaker 1: because he could see in the dark, and because he 305 00:20:39,595 --> 00:20:45,275 Speaker 1: could answer any question. Can he see in the daytime too? 306 00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:49,435 Speaker 1: Asked a red fox, Yes, echoed a dormouse and a 307 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:53,515 Speaker 1: French poodle. Can he see in the daytime too? All 308 00:20:53,555 --> 00:20:57,195 Speaker 1: the other creatures laughed loudly at this silly question, and 309 00:20:57,275 --> 00:20:59,315 Speaker 1: they set upon the red fox and his friends and 310 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:01,955 Speaker 1: drove them out of the region. Then they sent a 311 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:05,595 Speaker 1: messenger to the owl and asked him to be the leader. 312 00:21:06,995 --> 00:21:09,555 Speaker 1: When the owl appeared among the animals, it was high 313 00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:13,515 Speaker 1: noon and the sun was shining brightly. He walked very slowly, 314 00:21:13,595 --> 00:21:16,315 Speaker 1: which gave him an appearance of great dignity, and he 315 00:21:16,395 --> 00:21:20,555 Speaker 1: peered about him with large, staring eyes, which gave him 316 00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:26,235 Speaker 1: an air of tremendous importance. He's God, screamed Plymouth Rockhand, 317 00:21:26,755 --> 00:21:29,435 Speaker 1: and the others took up the cry He's God, He's God. 318 00:21:30,315 --> 00:21:32,515 Speaker 1: So they followed him wherever he went, and when he 319 00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:35,875 Speaker 1: began to bump into things, they began to bump into 320 00:21:35,875 --> 00:21:39,875 Speaker 1: things too. Finally, he came to a concrete highway, and 321 00:21:39,915 --> 00:21:41,875 Speaker 1: he started up the middle of it, and all the 322 00:21:41,915 --> 00:21:45,235 Speaker 1: other creatures followed him. Presently, a hawk, who was acting 323 00:21:45,235 --> 00:21:48,355 Speaker 1: as an outrider, observed a truck coming toward them at 324 00:21:48,355 --> 00:21:51,675 Speaker 1: fifty miles an hour, and he reported to the secretary bird, 325 00:21:51,795 --> 00:21:55,155 Speaker 1: and the secretary bird reported to the owl. There's danger ahead, 326 00:21:55,395 --> 00:22:00,195 Speaker 1: said the secretary bird. Too. Wit, said the owl. The 327 00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:04,995 Speaker 1: secretary bird told him, aren't you afraid? He asked, Ooo, 328 00:22:06,395 --> 00:22:09,395 Speaker 1: said the owl calmly, for he could not see the truck. 329 00:22:09,715 --> 00:22:12,435 Speaker 1: He's God, cried all the creatures again. And they were 330 00:22:12,435 --> 00:22:15,835 Speaker 1: still crying, He's God, He's God, when the truck hit 331 00:22:15,875 --> 00:22:18,675 Speaker 1: them and ran them down. Some of the animals were 332 00:22:18,675 --> 00:22:21,235 Speaker 1: merely injured, but most of them, including the owl, were killed. 333 00:22:22,235 --> 00:22:27,675 Speaker 1: Moral you can fool too many of the people too 334 00:22:27,795 --> 00:22:34,755 Speaker 1: much of the time. The owl who was God? By 335 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:39,635 Speaker 1: James Thurber. Two more of Thurber's fables, Political of Nature, 336 00:22:40,475 --> 00:22:45,195 Speaker 1: The Birds and the Foxes. Once upon a time there 337 00:22:45,235 --> 00:22:48,715 Speaker 1: was a bird sanctuary in which hundreds of Baltimore Orioles 338 00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:53,075 Speaker 1: lived together happily. The refuge consisted of a forest entirely 339 00:22:53,115 --> 00:22:57,195 Speaker 1: surrounded by a high wire fence. When it was put up, 340 00:22:57,475 --> 00:23:00,675 Speaker 1: a pack of foxes who lived nearby protested that it 341 00:23:00,715 --> 00:23:04,515 Speaker 1: was an arbitrary and unnatural boundary. However, they did not 342 00:23:04,875 --> 00:23:07,075 Speaker 1: about it at the time because they were interested in 343 00:23:07,235 --> 00:23:11,715 Speaker 1: civilizing the geese and ducks on the neighboring farms. When 344 00:23:11,715 --> 00:23:14,395 Speaker 1: all the geese and ducks had been civilized and there 345 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:17,835 Speaker 1: was nothing left to eat, the foxes once more turned 346 00:23:17,835 --> 00:23:21,035 Speaker 1: their attention to the birds sanctuary. Their leader announced that 347 00:23:21,075 --> 00:23:24,155 Speaker 1: there had been foxes once in the sanctuary, but that 348 00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:27,755 Speaker 1: they had been driven out. He proclaimed that Baltimore orioles 349 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:31,675 Speaker 1: belonged in Baltimore. He said furthermore that the orioles in 350 00:23:31,715 --> 00:23:34,715 Speaker 1: the sanctuary were a continuous menace to the peace of 351 00:23:34,755 --> 00:23:38,675 Speaker 1: the world. The other animals cautioned the foxes not to 352 00:23:38,715 --> 00:23:43,275 Speaker 1: disturb the birds in their sanctuary, So the foxes attacked 353 00:23:43,275 --> 00:23:45,595 Speaker 1: the sanctuary one night and tore down the fence that 354 00:23:45,675 --> 00:23:48,715 Speaker 1: surrounded it. The orioles rushed out and were instantly killed 355 00:23:48,755 --> 00:23:52,155 Speaker 1: and eaten by the foxes. The next day, the leader 356 00:23:52,155 --> 00:23:55,315 Speaker 1: of the foxes, a fox from whom God was receiving 357 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:59,355 Speaker 1: daily guidance, got under the rostrum and addressed the other 358 00:23:59,435 --> 00:24:03,355 Speaker 1: foxes from it. His message was simple and sublime. You 359 00:24:03,515 --> 00:24:08,075 Speaker 1: see before you, he said another Lincoln, We have liberated 360 00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:15,275 Speaker 1: all them birds. Moral government of the orioles by the foxes, 361 00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:24,395 Speaker 1: and for the foxes must perish from the earth. And lastly, 362 00:24:25,595 --> 00:24:32,875 Speaker 1: the peace like mongoose by James Thurber. In Cobra country, 363 00:24:33,235 --> 00:24:36,075 Speaker 1: a mongoose was born one day who did not want 364 00:24:36,075 --> 00:24:40,275 Speaker 1: to fight cobras or anything else. The words spread from 365 00:24:40,275 --> 00:24:42,515 Speaker 1: mongoose to mongoose that there was a mongoose who didn't 366 00:24:42,515 --> 00:24:44,435 Speaker 1: want to fight cobras. If he didn't want to fight 367 00:24:44,475 --> 00:24:46,595 Speaker 1: anything else, it was his own business. But it was 368 00:24:46,635 --> 00:24:51,675 Speaker 1: the duty of every mongoose to kill cobras or be 369 00:24:51,835 --> 00:24:58,115 Speaker 1: killed by cobras. Why, asked the peace like mongoose, And 370 00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:00,915 Speaker 1: the word went around that the strange new mongoose was 371 00:25:00,955 --> 00:25:08,395 Speaker 1: not only pro cobra and anti mongoose, but intellectually curious 372 00:25:08,635 --> 00:25:13,795 Speaker 1: and against the ideals and traditions of mongoosism. He is crazy, 373 00:25:14,035 --> 00:25:18,475 Speaker 1: cried the young mongoose's father. Hey is sick, said his mother. 374 00:25:19,075 --> 00:25:24,355 Speaker 1: He's a coward, shouted his brothers. He is a mongoo sexual, 375 00:25:24,915 --> 00:25:28,715 Speaker 1: whispered his sisters. Strangers who had never laid eyes on 376 00:25:28,755 --> 00:25:31,515 Speaker 1: the piece like mongoose, remembered that they had seen him 377 00:25:31,555 --> 00:25:37,315 Speaker 1: crawling on his stomach, or trying on cobra hoods, or 378 00:25:37,355 --> 00:25:43,715 Speaker 1: plotting the violent overthrow of Mongoosia. I'm trying to use 379 00:25:43,795 --> 00:25:50,835 Speaker 1: reason and intelligence, said the strange new mongoose. Reason is 380 00:25:51,235 --> 00:25:56,075 Speaker 1: six sevenths of treason, said one of his neighbors. Intelligence 381 00:25:56,155 --> 00:26:00,675 Speaker 1: is what the enemy uses, said another. Finally, the rumor 382 00:26:00,715 --> 00:26:03,355 Speaker 1: spread that the mongoose had venom in his sting like 383 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:07,115 Speaker 1: a cobra. He was tried, convicted by a show of pause, 384 00:26:07,515 --> 00:26:14,035 Speaker 1: and condemned to banishment. Moral ashes to ashes, and clay 385 00:26:14,075 --> 00:26:19,195 Speaker 1: to clay. If the enemy doesn't get you your own folks, 386 00:26:19,395 --> 00:26:31,155 Speaker 1: may the peace. Like Mongoose by James Thurber through the 387 00:26:31,235 --> 00:26:33,395 Speaker 1: Number one story on the Countdown Now and Things I 388 00:26:33,475 --> 00:26:35,955 Speaker 1: Promised Not to Tell, and a personal saga of how 389 00:26:36,035 --> 00:26:40,075 Speaker 1: important baseball used to be. I had only been the 390 00:26:40,115 --> 00:26:43,115 Speaker 1: local sportscaster on Channel five in Los Angeles for about 391 00:26:43,155 --> 00:26:45,915 Speaker 1: six weeks when I saw one of my rivals do 392 00:26:46,075 --> 00:26:51,235 Speaker 1: something I could not believe. Nearly thirty eight years have 393 00:26:51,475 --> 00:26:54,755 Speaker 1: since passed and it's even harder for me to believe 394 00:26:54,755 --> 00:26:59,355 Speaker 1: it now. In Game five of the nineteen eighty five 395 00:26:59,435 --> 00:27:02,555 Speaker 1: National League Championship Series between the LA Dodgers and the 396 00:27:02,555 --> 00:27:06,395 Speaker 1: Saint Louis Cardinals, winner goes to the World Series, Ozzy Smith, 397 00:27:06,395 --> 00:27:08,635 Speaker 1: the famous shortstop of the Cardinals, hit a home run 398 00:27:08,955 --> 00:27:10,475 Speaker 1: in the bottom of the ninth inning to beat the 399 00:27:10,515 --> 00:27:13,795 Speaker 1: Dodgers three to two. Smith was a switch hitter. He 400 00:27:13,835 --> 00:27:15,995 Speaker 1: could bat left handed or right handed, but he had 401 00:27:15,995 --> 00:27:20,075 Speaker 1: never hit a home run right handed until then. The 402 00:27:20,115 --> 00:27:23,715 Speaker 1: ball hit some brick or concrete behind the foul pole 403 00:27:23,755 --> 00:27:25,995 Speaker 1: and Saint Louis bounded back onto the field, and the 404 00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:28,515 Speaker 1: Dodger right fielder Mike Marshall picked it up and threw 405 00:27:28,515 --> 00:27:32,515 Speaker 1: it back to the infield just cause, like why not. 406 00:27:33,755 --> 00:27:38,035 Speaker 1: Two days later, back in Los Angeles, in an infamous 407 00:27:38,035 --> 00:27:42,235 Speaker 1: sequence that older Dodger fans still grumble about nightly, the 408 00:27:42,315 --> 00:27:46,315 Speaker 1: Dodgers lost that series on another home run by Jack 409 00:27:46,355 --> 00:27:49,635 Speaker 1: Clark of Saint Louis. And the night after that, I 410 00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:52,035 Speaker 1: was sitting with my new colleagues at Channel five and 411 00:27:52,075 --> 00:27:57,075 Speaker 1: we had the rival newscast from Channel nine KHJTV on 412 00:27:57,075 --> 00:27:59,275 Speaker 1: one of our TV monitors. In the sports office, and 413 00:27:59,315 --> 00:28:03,115 Speaker 1: for some reason their sportscaster was on at the start 414 00:28:03,595 --> 00:28:06,835 Speaker 1: of their newscast ten o'clock, I have important breaking news. 415 00:28:06,875 --> 00:28:10,115 Speaker 1: He yelled. His name was Scott Saint James, and he 416 00:28:10,195 --> 00:28:14,355 Speaker 1: was always yelling, but this was different. Careful forensic analysis 417 00:28:14,355 --> 00:28:17,075 Speaker 1: of the videotape by the Channel nine Sports department proves 418 00:28:17,355 --> 00:28:20,315 Speaker 1: that Ozzie Smith's so called home run against the Dodgers 419 00:28:20,315 --> 00:28:22,995 Speaker 1: in Game five was actually not a home run but 420 00:28:23,075 --> 00:28:27,275 Speaker 1: a double. Look Saint James shouted, then played the same 421 00:28:27,355 --> 00:28:31,075 Speaker 1: videotape every station in America had, showing the same angle 422 00:28:31,595 --> 00:28:35,155 Speaker 1: of the same Smith home run, landing fair and beating 423 00:28:35,235 --> 00:28:37,475 Speaker 1: the Dodgers and then bouncing back off the wall onto 424 00:28:37,475 --> 00:28:39,155 Speaker 1: the field and the Dodger right field are kind of 425 00:28:39,195 --> 00:28:41,315 Speaker 1: a half hearted we throwing the ball back into the 426 00:28:41,355 --> 00:28:46,235 Speaker 1: infield just becuz that Saint James bellowed was just a double. 427 00:28:46,995 --> 00:28:49,195 Speaker 1: Mike Marshall's throw proves it beyond the shadow of a 428 00:28:49,275 --> 00:28:52,435 Speaker 1: legal doubt. Channel nine Sports urges the Dodgers to file 429 00:28:52,515 --> 00:28:56,235 Speaker 1: lawsuits against Major League Baseball to obtain a restraining order 430 00:28:56,275 --> 00:28:59,675 Speaker 1: against this travesty. Then we urged the Dodgers to report 431 00:28:59,715 --> 00:29:02,875 Speaker 1: to Kansas City in order to play in tomorrow night's 432 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:06,155 Speaker 1: first game of the nineteen eighty five World Series as 433 00:29:06,195 --> 00:29:11,635 Speaker 1: the rightful representatives of the National League. I don't have 434 00:29:11,715 --> 00:29:15,075 Speaker 1: a tape of this, so my version of what this 435 00:29:15,195 --> 00:29:20,235 Speaker 1: buffoon Saint James said is recreated from memory as faithfully 436 00:29:20,275 --> 00:29:24,835 Speaker 1: as possible. It is burned into my memory. And if 437 00:29:24,835 --> 00:29:28,115 Speaker 1: it's not one hundred percent accurate word for word, trust me, 438 00:29:28,235 --> 00:29:33,795 Speaker 1: I just improved it. Over At Channel five, we laughed. 439 00:29:34,555 --> 00:29:36,475 Speaker 1: The phone rang. It was one of the sports producers 440 00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:39,795 Speaker 1: at Channel two, friend of all of ours. He was laughing. 441 00:29:40,675 --> 00:29:44,035 Speaker 1: On Channel nine, they were not laughing. They did I 442 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:48,035 Speaker 1: think this quote story unquote twice in their newscast that night, 443 00:29:48,075 --> 00:29:51,155 Speaker 1: and they continued to ride this idea that the home 444 00:29:51,235 --> 00:29:55,755 Speaker 1: run did not count and the Dodgers should sue right 445 00:29:55,835 --> 00:29:58,475 Speaker 1: up until the nineteen eighty five World Series, which the 446 00:29:58,475 --> 00:30:02,515 Speaker 1: Dodgers did not play in, ended a week later. But 447 00:30:02,595 --> 00:30:05,915 Speaker 1: that's not where the story ended. As if the Saint 448 00:30:05,995 --> 00:30:08,915 Speaker 1: James thing had cursed the nineteen eighty five World Series, 449 00:30:09,835 --> 00:30:13,315 Speaker 1: and nobody ever really knew if he really believed the story, 450 00:30:13,355 --> 00:30:15,475 Speaker 1: he was just trying to get eyeballs on a sportscast. 451 00:30:15,555 --> 00:30:20,355 Speaker 1: Nobody watched the guys who managed the World Series teams 452 00:30:20,435 --> 00:30:22,875 Speaker 1: get to manage their league's team in the All Star 453 00:30:22,955 --> 00:30:25,715 Speaker 1: Game the next year. So Dick Houser, manager of the 454 00:30:25,715 --> 00:30:28,875 Speaker 1: world champion Kansas City Royals of nineteen eighty five, was 455 00:30:28,915 --> 00:30:31,315 Speaker 1: the manager of the nineteen eighty six All Star Game, 456 00:30:31,315 --> 00:30:35,275 Speaker 1: played on July fifteenth at the Astrodome in Houston. That year, 457 00:30:35,315 --> 00:30:38,475 Speaker 1: the California Angels, whose games were carried on MY station 458 00:30:38,635 --> 00:30:41,155 Speaker 1: Channel five, had one of their players produced one of 459 00:30:41,155 --> 00:30:44,035 Speaker 1: the great rookie seasons of all time. His name was 460 00:30:44,075 --> 00:30:47,195 Speaker 1: Wally Joyner. He was this kind of goofy first baseman. 461 00:30:47,515 --> 00:30:49,235 Speaker 1: He was a friend of mine, and even though he 462 00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:51,595 Speaker 1: was not on the fans All Star ballots, he was 463 00:30:51,675 --> 00:30:56,315 Speaker 1: voted in written in as the starting American League All 464 00:30:56,315 --> 00:30:59,755 Speaker 1: Star first baseman. He won with write in votes didn't 465 00:30:59,795 --> 00:31:02,635 Speaker 1: happen too often. So at the nineteen eighty six All 466 00:31:02,635 --> 00:31:05,715 Speaker 1: Star Game, Joiner is the starting first baseman, and he 467 00:31:05,795 --> 00:31:07,835 Speaker 1: comes up in the second inning and he pops up, 468 00:31:08,355 --> 00:31:10,755 Speaker 1: but per All Star etiquette, he'll get at least one 469 00:31:10,755 --> 00:31:12,875 Speaker 1: more at bat, probably two. All the starters get two 470 00:31:12,915 --> 00:31:16,235 Speaker 1: at bats, except in the fourth inning, when it's Joiner's 471 00:31:16,315 --> 00:31:20,515 Speaker 1: turn to hit again. All Star manager Dick Hauser pinch 472 00:31:20,595 --> 00:31:23,795 Speaker 1: hits for Joiner, sends up Don Mattingly of the Yankees 473 00:31:23,795 --> 00:31:26,915 Speaker 1: to bat instead of Joiner. Well, this did not go 474 00:31:26,995 --> 00:31:30,035 Speaker 1: over well in southern California. Some of us were wondering 475 00:31:30,075 --> 00:31:32,475 Speaker 1: if Wally Joyner was hurt or if there was something 476 00:31:32,515 --> 00:31:35,915 Speaker 1: else going on. But over at another of our rival 477 00:31:36,035 --> 00:31:41,035 Speaker 1: sports departments at KABC Channel seven, that's not where their sportscaster, 478 00:31:41,155 --> 00:31:44,475 Speaker 1: Ted Dawson took it. He went on that night blistering 479 00:31:44,515 --> 00:31:48,435 Speaker 1: dick Hauser for insulting Joiner and insulting the Angels and 480 00:31:48,515 --> 00:31:52,555 Speaker 1: Los Angeles and Anaheim and God and the flag. And 481 00:31:52,595 --> 00:31:56,715 Speaker 1: he told his viewers to call the hotel in Houston 482 00:31:57,155 --> 00:32:00,395 Speaker 1: that dick Hauser was staying at and ask for his 483 00:32:00,555 --> 00:32:03,915 Speaker 1: room and yell at him. I think they put up 484 00:32:03,955 --> 00:32:07,915 Speaker 1: a graphic with the hotel phone number. Mind you, by 485 00:32:07,995 --> 00:32:10,035 Speaker 1: the time Ted Dawson did this, it would have been 486 00:32:10,195 --> 00:32:14,475 Speaker 1: one fifteen in the morning in the Houston hotel. Whatever 487 00:32:14,555 --> 00:32:19,235 Speaker 1: Hauser had done, what Dawson did was far worse. We 488 00:32:19,275 --> 00:32:21,795 Speaker 1: could not have imagined at the time how far worse. 489 00:32:22,595 --> 00:32:26,115 Speaker 1: The next day, the Kansas City Royals announced that dick 490 00:32:26,155 --> 00:32:29,355 Speaker 1: Hauser had been admitted to the hospital after several weeks 491 00:32:29,395 --> 00:32:32,795 Speaker 1: of neck pain, and the day after that, through tears, 492 00:32:33,195 --> 00:32:35,795 Speaker 1: a spokesman announced that Dick Hauser was taking a leave 493 00:32:35,835 --> 00:32:39,595 Speaker 1: of absence as manager of the team immediately because he 494 00:32:39,675 --> 00:32:43,195 Speaker 1: had a brain tumor. In fact, Dick Hauser would die 495 00:32:43,275 --> 00:32:45,835 Speaker 1: about eleven months later at the age of just fifty one. 496 00:32:46,675 --> 00:32:49,595 Speaker 1: The nineteen eighty six All Star Game was the last 497 00:32:49,635 --> 00:32:54,035 Speaker 1: game Howser ever participated in, and Ted Dawson had told 498 00:32:54,035 --> 00:32:56,195 Speaker 1: his viewers to call Hauser up late at night in 499 00:32:56,235 --> 00:32:59,755 Speaker 1: a hotel and yell at him over an insult to 500 00:32:59,835 --> 00:33:03,395 Speaker 1: a player. I've done a lot of stupid stuff on 501 00:33:03,475 --> 00:33:05,475 Speaker 1: TV in my life of sis. I should have just 502 00:33:05,555 --> 00:33:09,275 Speaker 1: left alone. In most cases, I've been able to apologize 503 00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:12,515 Speaker 1: or at least make fun of myself or make it 504 00:33:12,595 --> 00:33:15,315 Speaker 1: up to the people involved with these two guys. Saint 505 00:33:15,395 --> 00:33:19,235 Speaker 1: James was fired the next year, I think, and then Dawson. 506 00:33:19,835 --> 00:33:22,515 Speaker 1: And then Dawson got hired in Dallas, and the next 507 00:33:22,515 --> 00:33:24,395 Speaker 1: thing we heard in LA was he was living with 508 00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:27,755 Speaker 1: some rich older woman who'd bought him a helicopter. Last 509 00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:29,995 Speaker 1: thing I saw about him was in twenty seventeen. He 510 00:33:30,035 --> 00:33:33,035 Speaker 1: retired after several years as the sports director of station 511 00:33:33,235 --> 00:33:40,955 Speaker 1: KBZK in Bozeman, Montana. Sometimes life punishes you first, then 512 00:33:40,995 --> 00:33:44,275 Speaker 1: you screw up, rather than the other way around. It 513 00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:48,115 Speaker 1: dawned on me after Dick Howser died that years earlier. 514 00:33:48,155 --> 00:33:51,235 Speaker 1: In nineteen eighty, the ABC station in my hometown here 515 00:33:51,235 --> 00:33:54,555 Speaker 1: in New York needed a new sportscaster, and they tried 516 00:33:54,595 --> 00:33:59,475 Speaker 1: out literally every sportscaster on every big ABC station in 517 00:33:59,515 --> 00:34:02,835 Speaker 1: the country. One week they had the guy in from Detroit, 518 00:34:03,555 --> 00:34:05,275 Speaker 1: the week after that it was their guy from their 519 00:34:05,275 --> 00:34:08,395 Speaker 1: station in Syracuse, and one week it had been Ted 520 00:34:08,515 --> 00:34:11,595 Speaker 1: Dawson from KABC in Los Angeles, the guy who would 521 00:34:11,875 --> 00:34:14,875 Speaker 1: tell his viewers to call up and abuse the manager 522 00:34:15,595 --> 00:34:18,995 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. Ted Dawson's on air 523 00:34:19,075 --> 00:34:23,155 Speaker 1: style was breathless, and I mean that literally, he shouted 524 00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:24,755 Speaker 1: at the top of his lungs had he read his 525 00:34:24,795 --> 00:34:27,875 Speaker 1: script as fast as he could. I mean, I can't 526 00:34:27,915 --> 00:34:31,995 Speaker 1: even recreate it without causing myself a coughing fit. While 527 00:34:31,995 --> 00:34:34,075 Speaker 1: I happened to be watching the night of his first 528 00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:37,555 Speaker 1: audition show on the New York station, Ted Dawson screamed 529 00:34:37,555 --> 00:34:41,115 Speaker 1: for about three minutes, finished and panting, threw it back 530 00:34:41,155 --> 00:34:45,475 Speaker 1: to the veteran deadpan. WABC Channel seven news anchorman Roger 531 00:34:45,515 --> 00:34:51,955 Speaker 1: Grimsby Roger back to you, and they cut to Grimsby. 532 00:34:52,235 --> 00:34:54,755 Speaker 1: He was staring to his right towards where Dawson was 533 00:34:54,795 --> 00:34:59,915 Speaker 1: sitting wordlessly. He turned back to face the camera and 534 00:34:59,955 --> 00:35:04,955 Speaker 1: with no hint of emotion, Roger Grimsby simply said, shall 535 00:35:04,955 --> 00:35:13,155 Speaker 1: now resume? The News Countdown with Keith Olderman is a 536 00:35:13,195 --> 00:35:18,035 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 537 00:35:18,075 --> 00:35:22,595 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.