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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome back to be Bachelor Happy Hour.

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Speaker 2: I'm Charity and I'm Rachel, and today we have a

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Speaker 2: very special surprise guest, my favorite ex boyfriend, Clayton. Welcome

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Speaker 2: to happy Hour?

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Speaker 3: Is that true? Am I your actual favorite? You know?

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Speaker 3: You absolutely are? Are you all right?

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Speaker 2: I'm not, I'm not, but I do have to apologize

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Speaker 2: off the bat. Mean, sure, you were a little late today.

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Speaker 2: I just got back from the gym.

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Speaker 4: So going to the gym lately consist. But no, we are.

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Speaker 4: We're so excited to have you on. Thank you.

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Speaker 3: I'm excited to be here, guys. I'm excited to be here.

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Speaker 3: You know I deserved a little shout out again, That's fine,

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Speaker 3: We're I would be If I didn't think that was coming,

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Speaker 3: then I'd be ridiculous. We've been shown up on here

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Speaker 3: are you guys? That's the only one? Am I going

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Speaker 3: to have to just be dodging all this entire time?

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Speaker 4: Listen to get used to dodging because we got some coming.

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Speaker 4: So you're not.

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Speaker 3: Are both wearing black, so like we're matching, matching, so

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Speaker 3: like we run it back at the third time.

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Speaker 1: I know, yes, speaking, I'm going to get right into it.

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Speaker 1: Because you said the magic word matching. We have to

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Speaker 1: talk about Perfect Match first off, because there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of history obviously between YouTube, but starting with you, Clayton,

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Speaker 1: I need to understand and inquire what made you want

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Speaker 1: to do Perfect Match?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Look, I think reality television is fun at this point. Now.

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Speaker 3: It's like a challenge as far as like yourself in

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Speaker 3: a foreign environment and seeing like how you adapt. And

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Speaker 3: I think it's very psychological. I think we all know

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Speaker 3: that people go on for a multitude of reasons. So

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Speaker 3: it's like we're here for the show, but who's really

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Speaker 3: here for a right reason? Or is our right reason?

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Speaker 3: Or who's here for fame, who's here for an act relationship,

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Speaker 3: who's trying to make themselves look good? And like, I

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Speaker 3: think the whole thing is just super psychological. So I

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Speaker 3: just feel like it really tests me and I grow

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Speaker 3: a lot from these experiences. So that was the intrigue.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm curious to know, like, in what ways

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Speaker 1: do you feel like you've grown from Perfect Match in specific?

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Speaker 3: Rachel answer this too, right, I'm curious about.

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Speaker 4: Why did I go on?

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, let's just make this so like three way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, because I am curious. I guess for me,

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Speaker 2: something that was really exciting was on my journey in

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Speaker 2: The Bachelor. I never got to have a season where

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Speaker 2: I was by myself or a spot on paradise where

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Speaker 2: I wasn't the Bachelorette. And I was really excited to

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Speaker 2: go on Perfect Match because I got to just be alone,

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Speaker 2: or what I thought was going to be alone, because

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Speaker 2: Blake was the only other person I knew they were

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Speaker 2: talking to. So I wanted to ask, too, were you

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Speaker 2: surprised when they reached out to you?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, I mean, because I was just like, what's

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Speaker 3: why now? I mean, I guess I had some videos,

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Speaker 3: like my dance videos were you know, being pushed around

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Speaker 3: the internet, and so that's the way they phrased it.

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Speaker 3: They're like, you know, we love your dance videos and

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Speaker 3: we just want you to come on to dance.

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Speaker 2: And that's what they told you.

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Speaker 3: That's what they told me. Yeah, And so I guess

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Speaker 3: maybe my ego is like you know what, I've had

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Speaker 3: some videos go viral and like maybe I am popping

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Speaker 3: up all over the place and like that's maybe this

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Speaker 3: makes sense. I'll be like the big shock, you know,

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Speaker 3: coming from outside of the Netflix universe. But when you

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Speaker 3: walked in the first day, I was like, and that's

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Speaker 3: why I'm here. Yeah, so that's really hot.

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Speaker 1: All right, So did you guys not know, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you hear rumblings of like people who might like join

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Speaker 1: the cast. Did you know Clayton that Rachel was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, going to be there or considered like to

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Speaker 1: possibly be there.

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Speaker 3: Not at all. No. The what happened was somebody slipped

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Speaker 3: up while I was there and accidentally shared that she

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Speaker 3: was coming, and it was like completely off. It was

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Speaker 3: off camera, it wasn't so I supposed to be held

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Speaker 3: to me. And that's when I knew about like two

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Speaker 3: days before she showed up. Wow, not prior to that point.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 2: And so then I knew on my date going into

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Speaker 2: the villa. So I felt like kind of prepared, but

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Speaker 2: I don't think we could have prepared for like how

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Speaker 2: dramaic it was. But if the Bachelor's going to do anything,

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Speaker 2: it's going to bring the drama to a show that's

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Speaker 2: classically very unseerious.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I like it. Also, it was just so

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Speaker 3: fast and I'm not not here to make excuses, but

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Speaker 3: I could just really go back into my head for

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Speaker 3: a second here, like it it really pulled back all

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Speaker 3: these like conversations we didn't have and all these feelings,

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Speaker 3: like I ripped it all right back into the forefront,

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Speaker 3: Like I was completely caught off guard. And I think

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Speaker 3: like I also, I was already had a couple of

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Speaker 3: drinks that night, and I was like totally a sound mind.

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Speaker 3: But it was just like this, like you know, kind

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Speaker 3: of like feel good. I'm on vacation, I'm into loom.

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Speaker 3: Life's good. Create like, man, how blessed am I to

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Speaker 3: be here getting paid some decent money, just like chill

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Speaker 3: some people for thirty Like I'm vibing, and then it's

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Speaker 3: just like boom, Rachel comes walking in. I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

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Speaker 3: And it's like, of course, like all those like emotions

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Speaker 3: rush back. It's like because part of that point, I mean, Rachel,

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Speaker 3: you and I had like we've we've been in a

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Speaker 3: couple spots, you know, like over the course of the years,

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Speaker 3: like we've run into each other, but it's like obviously

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Speaker 3: we're not in the same city, we're not bumping into

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Speaker 3: each other often. So it's like two years goes by,

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Speaker 3: we see each other, two years goes by and then

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Speaker 3: it's like there's a lot to catch up with, right,

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Speaker 3: So I just completely was overwhelmed, and of course that's

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Speaker 3: what you saw a plan on screen was. I was

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Speaker 3: just like my brain was just fluttering all over the place.

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Speaker 3: So but that's you know, of course, it's like once

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Speaker 3: she came in, I was like, this is why they

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Speaker 3: have us here, and this was the main it was

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Speaker 3: the main storyline.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they loved playing that in the trailer. I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: I know that you've been You've been really vocal about

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Speaker 2: producers and your edit on The Bachelor. What did you

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Speaker 2: think was going to be different coming over to Netflix?

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Speaker 3: Different teams, so just different results. But what I've what

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Speaker 3: I found was that it's not the producers, it's the editors.

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Speaker 3: And I think I unfairly blamed the producers on The

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Speaker 3: Bachelor when it's really to me, it's the editors that

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Speaker 3: just basically take footage and they decide, look like, there's

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Speaker 3: no nuance unless you're on a show like Love Island

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Speaker 3: where they're showing every single day. They don't have time

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Speaker 3: to so they show you as you are. But when

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Speaker 3: they got you know, sixteen hours of footage, and they

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Speaker 3: got to pack it into one episode. They're like, let's

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Speaker 3: just like there's no time for nuance, so you're good

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Speaker 3: or bad. And I think that's like where I should

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Speaker 3: have known that going into Perfect Match, that the formatting

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Speaker 3: was the same. So it's like, Okay, we have someone

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Speaker 3: who's good and someone who's bad. You can't be anywhere

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Speaker 3: in between because we don't have time to like draw,

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Speaker 3: you know, basically portray nuance. So I thought that in

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Speaker 3: different network, like it could be a redemption thing and

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Speaker 3: I could just be my fun self and I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be at the center of drama. But then the course,

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Speaker 3: like the second that they bring in and acts from

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Speaker 3: a previous show, it's like you're bringing all of that back. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it means I'm already now under fire again for like

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Speaker 3: the same thing unless I act differently, and I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't regret, you know, I don't regret. I can

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Speaker 3: can we say that it was it was messy, of course,

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Speaker 3: but like I don't regret like giving it an initial chance,

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Speaker 3: because I was like the safe thing to do would

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Speaker 3: have just been like, you know, stay away, so great

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Speaker 3: to see you. That's the safe thing. But like I

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Speaker 3: truly believe that, Like I'm just never gonna choose the

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Speaker 3: safe thing. I'm gonna choose the thing that feels right

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Speaker 3: in the moment. We can all sit here and be

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Speaker 3: like Clayton, maybe you should pick up on things a

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Speaker 3: little faster.

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Speaker 4: That's fine, I said, hello.

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Speaker 3: We can all say that, like I and I, And honestly,

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Speaker 3: I've learned as I've grown up, like I grew up

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Speaker 3: in a household. Again, I'm just gonna explain what I

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Speaker 3: think is has occurred. I grew up in a household

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Speaker 3: to old boys. We never talked about emotions, so like

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Speaker 3: it's new to me, so me like feeling my way

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Speaker 3: through emotions, presenting them. Like people said on the batch,

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Speaker 3: I was cold at points, and it definitely read that way,

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Speaker 3: but it was because I was crying behind closed doors.

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Speaker 3: So I showed up. It was like, I'm like, I

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Speaker 3: can't cry in front of women. That's that's I was

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Speaker 3: told never to do that as a man, So like

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Speaker 3: it's but the course that's perceived is like he's just

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Speaker 3: staring at this woman cold, you know, while they're looking

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Speaker 3: at while they're looking at them in tears. So the

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Speaker 3: same thing though, Like as I've evolved and went to

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Speaker 3: therapy and all that, Like, I'm still learning, Like these

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Speaker 3: emotions are new to me. So like I think people

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Speaker 3: are on the they hit the nail on the head

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Speaker 3: when they're like he means, well, he's just like not

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Speaker 3: quite picking it up quick enough, and it's like that's fair.

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Speaker 3: I don't disagree with that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you mentioned like like producers and kind of going

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Speaker 1: in and like it all kind of being very similar.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever feel or like felt, I should say,

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Speaker 1: or since in the moment when you saw Rachel was

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Speaker 1: there and like you guys, I guess making that ultimate

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Speaker 1: decision to like try and rekindle, did you ever in

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Speaker 1: your head possibly think like, oh, this is like maybe

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Speaker 1: a bait that they're setting up for me to like

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Speaker 1: kind of fall.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, no, I mean, I mean, but to your point,

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Speaker 3: like that's exactly what they were doing. Yeah, all I did.

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Speaker 3: I just saw her come in and she just started

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Speaker 3: cheese and smiling at me like Rachel, and I just

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Speaker 3: felt that I felt that emotion of like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: look who it is. And I wasn't like stay away, dude,

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Speaker 3: you're going to screw this all up all over again.

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Speaker 3: I was just in the moment, and like when she

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Speaker 3: walked in, I was like I felt this rush of

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Speaker 3: like what's going on here? Like what's happening? Yeah, like

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Speaker 3: there there's there's still there were strong feelings. Then there's

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Speaker 3: always Yeah, I obviously admire you, Rachel, like I think

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Speaker 3: you're a great human being, and like obviously we connected

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Speaker 3: originally because there was substance there, right, So like all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden, you just like throw someone back in

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Speaker 3: the mix again and you're all those feelings fled back up.

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Speaker 3: And I was just telling myself, like Clayton, act upon

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Speaker 3: how you feel. Don't think about like how will this

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Speaker 3: be perceived? And we're beheaded because then I can't be

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Speaker 3: present with her in that moment. So I'm shut all

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Speaker 3: that all that overthinking out and just be here right

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Speaker 3: in front of her. And That's what I was doing.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, of course it was a setup. I mean yeah,

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Speaker 3: I just was like, don't think about how it's going

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Speaker 3: to be seen, just be here.

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Speaker 1: Mm hm, did you I'm going to ask both of

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Speaker 1: you guys, did you guys ever think at a point like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this could possibly like what if this works out, or

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Speaker 1: like we might like rekindle and like I.

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Speaker 2: Don't think we had time we like saw I should

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Speaker 2: say that night, and then the next day I didn't

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Speaker 2: see you at all.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I went through in my head. I mean

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Speaker 3: I like fast forwarded overnight while I was laying in bed,

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Speaker 3: you know, just like thinking about if this works, and

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Speaker 3: I was like fast forwarding in the future and our

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Speaker 3: discussions we were having, and I was like, I was

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Speaker 3: like putting like in my head a family. I was

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Speaker 3: like if we were like how Like I was racing

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Speaker 3: all of it fast in my head because I was

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Speaker 3: just like, hey, I can't mess this up, like I've

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Speaker 3: already hurt her, like I really do care about her

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Speaker 3: as a person, so like I need to make sure

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Speaker 3: that I feel like I'm right about this right like,

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Speaker 3: because if I'm wrong, I have to then like I

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Speaker 3: can't do this again to her, you know. So and

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Speaker 3: that was where like I was laying in bed, like

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it took me, probably took me

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Speaker 3: a while with the forty five minutes to actually fall asleep,

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Speaker 3: Like I was just laying there just thinking. And then

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Speaker 3: I woke up in the morning and I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm feeling it, you know. A gut feeling and let

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Speaker 3: me just give it a little bit more time. But

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Speaker 3: like I really just want to like make sure that

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Speaker 3: again I make this decision, but I make it fully

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Speaker 3: and I feel strongly about the decision I make, but

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Speaker 3: also like I don't track this out like it was

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Speaker 3: really uncomfortable. I mean, even like on this this interview,

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Speaker 3: it's like I feel something in my stomach, you know,

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Speaker 3: like I feel like this like nerve. And Rachel's always

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Speaker 3: been super sweet and that's how I've come. A couple

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Speaker 3: of times she throws some cuts at me on podcasts,

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Speaker 3: we talk, we talk about it offline, and like, again,

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Speaker 3: it's not anything major. Like I've always been grateful because

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Speaker 3: like I can understand being like, dude, get your shit together,

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Speaker 3: and like could you just figure it out quicker and

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Speaker 3: like it just be a little like and it's like, yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: that's fair, that's all fair. But we've had a lot of,

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Speaker 3: you know, a few offline discussions on the phone, and

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Speaker 3: like I think there is a mutual respect and I

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Speaker 3: at least feel that. And I've always been really grateful

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Speaker 3: that you know that you've you know, we can sit

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Speaker 3: here and we can have these conversations and be cordial

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Speaker 3: and we can also admit that like, yeah, I'm still

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Speaker 3: working progress and I'm still learning, like I just I

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Speaker 3: and I'm hoping about it, you know, and I mess up,

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Speaker 3: But I mean I don't know. I guess that's just

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Speaker 3: like we went on reality television and that's we found

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Speaker 3: ourselves in the same place twice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I will like to like to mention that this

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Speaker 1: is technically you guys' first conversation since perfect match, like

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Speaker 1: one on one, like publicly.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we've talked to you on the phone, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: We've spoken, but yeah, publicly, this is our first conversation

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Speaker 2: like conversation together.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean again, like every time I

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Speaker 3: pop on here, it's one thing on a phone call,

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Speaker 3: but when you see like each other's face, I just

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Speaker 3: don't know. I don't know how you don't feel that

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Speaker 3: those like emotions like it's not like they just like

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Speaker 3: cease to exist. So yeah, and I think it's funny

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Speaker 3: that you can make you can give me trouble about

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Speaker 3: the whole gym thing. It's fair. Like again, I don't

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Speaker 3: want to ever have like bad relationships with people like

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Speaker 3: I can screw up, but I'm like, hey, as long

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Speaker 3: as like we can admit, like I've done some wrong

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Speaker 3: and I can grow from it, like hopefully we can

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Speaker 3: all forgive each other. I mean, I don't like that

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Speaker 3: I have technically some beef with another ax that like

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Speaker 3: I never talked to that we're aware of, but like

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Speaker 3: I don't like it. I don't like it deep that,

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Speaker 3: Like I don't like the fact that like where did this?

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Speaker 3: Like why can't we just be cool? You know, like

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Speaker 3: why does it have to be all this thuff?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, well Clayton, don't shry away now, like.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, you say you don't like it,

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Speaker 2: you keep getting yourself in these situations.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well hold on, Gabby after my dancing and it

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Speaker 3: was just like necessary because it was like Gabby, like

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Speaker 3: I felt like, Gab, you had your own season, you

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Speaker 3: had your own guys, Like why are you going like

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Speaker 3: skipping them, like like you're going right at me and

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Speaker 3: it's like I'm over here. Just like honestly, it was

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Speaker 3: very vulnerable for me to dance, like I look, I'm

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Speaker 3: not stupid. I know my dancing capacity, Like I'm a

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Speaker 3: white dude trying to pick up hip hop. Like it

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Speaker 3: was looking rough for a long while I just probably

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Speaker 3: like in the last like you know, six months, started

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Speaker 3: to get all said and having a little flow where

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Speaker 3: it was like okay, wait, you can kind of show

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Speaker 3: up now. But prior to that point, like it was

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Speaker 3: very vulnerable, and I did really like I was getting

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Speaker 3: bothered by a lot of the comments. But I kept

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Speaker 3: telling myself, just keep posting, keep posting, because like, just

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Speaker 3: keep pushing through this and like eventually, like you will

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Speaker 3: end up being seen as a solid dancer, but you'll

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Speaker 3: just or you'll find the confidence and like that's the

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Speaker 3: biggest thing you want. So for her to like all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden then draw intentional additional attention on me

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Speaker 3: and was like, you know, he's basically he's bad at dancing.

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Speaker 3: I was just like, Gabby, why, like I've already been

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Speaker 3: fighting through this mountain of negativity and like then you

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Speaker 3: just on top of me and I haven't even said

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Speaker 3: your name and years That's where I was upset, and

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Speaker 3: I was just like I have to respond and stand

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Speaker 3: up for myself, Like I don't I need to, like

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Speaker 3: I need to be able to just stand up and

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Speaker 3: say something. And so I did, Like I thought I

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Speaker 3: was fairly fair, like I don't think I was like

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Speaker 3: going after her, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, I know, I think, yeah, I would.

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Speaker 1: I think obviously there's like two sides and two perspectives

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Speaker 1: on the entire situation. But I will say, from the

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Speaker 1: outside looking in, like obviously, if you understand or know

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Speaker 1: context into why you got into dancing to begin with,

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Speaker 1: I think that's very admirable, I will say, And I'll

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Speaker 1: give you your flowers here, Clayton for that. And so

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people obviously it's just they're

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Speaker 1: quick to like jump on something, quick to like pal

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Speaker 1: onto people, and I think that's where we've kind of

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Speaker 1: straight away in social media in general.

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Speaker 4: It's just really rough and hard.

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Speaker 1: So mad respect to you for that, but yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was kind of interesting to see kind of like Gabby

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Speaker 1: maybe throw that out and be like okay, like in

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Speaker 1: my world, I'm like just let the man dance, let

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Speaker 1: you know, mind your business type situation. But I do

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Speaker 1: think like, yes, the bigger conversation was Okay, we probably shouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say bully, but yes, bully essentially,

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Speaker 1: like you know, her remarks were not the nicest or

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Speaker 1: probably not kind comments.

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Speaker 3: Necessary, and like it's like it's not that big of

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Speaker 3: a deal. And I'm like, but yeah, all about how

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Speaker 3: the person you know perceives it right, So like for

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Speaker 3: you to have been I have been, people have called

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Speaker 3: me way worse. So I was like and like, yes,

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Speaker 3: I'm not really that upset by it. It's more just

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Speaker 3: the right. It's like if I let her walk all

359
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Speaker 3: over me, then everyone else will too, you know. As

360
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Speaker 3: I stand up for myself, people might be like, Okay,

361
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Speaker 3: he's going to fire back, and and you know, and

362
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Speaker 3: it and it did backfire a bit. I feel like,

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Speaker 3: you know, didn't make her look the greatest. And I

364
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Speaker 3: was just like just hopefully going forward, Gabby, like you

365
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Speaker 3: just don't do that to somebody, Like just go after somebody,

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Speaker 3: you know, because what if I went after you for

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Speaker 3: you know, something equivalent, like it would well, But my

368
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Speaker 3: whole thing is this. It's like, if you have a

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Speaker 3: problem with me, then just like call me.

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Speaker 4: Have you guys not talked ever?

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Speaker 5: Like I don't think she cares.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think it is Clayton.

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Speaker 4: I think it is.

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Speaker 2: Fair to say though that Gabby does have the right

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Speaker 2: and you, I think are in a lucky position where

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Speaker 2: you do still have a friendship with Susie and me

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Speaker 2: and you are on good terms. So but I think

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Speaker 2: it is so fair for Gabby to not want to

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Speaker 2: be a part of that and not want to call you.

380
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Speaker 2: I mean, she is a dancer, so I feel like

381
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Speaker 2: she might have just you know, Gabby, she makes fun

382
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Speaker 2: of herself, she makes fun of everyone. I think it's

383
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Speaker 2: started off like innocent, it did, you know obviously go

384
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Speaker 2: really far between the both of you. But I guess

385
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Speaker 2: the question I want to ask. It feels like something

386
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Speaker 2: that's like a common thride with you is you don't

387
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Speaker 2: like being misunderstood by the public, and you really feel

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Speaker 2: the need to like defend yourself in these situations. Is

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Speaker 2: that something you think.

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Speaker 4: Is true.

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Speaker 3: That statement you just made.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I feel like you tend to like over

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Speaker 2: explain a little bit because you don't like feeling misunderstood

394
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Speaker 2: and it can kind of get you into posisions.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean absolutely, I feel like I'm very misunderstood.

396
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Speaker 3: I mean I I and where this comes from is

397
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Speaker 3: just what I've read online, you know, the feedback book dms,

398
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Speaker 3: the blogs, you know, saying he's people assume that I've

399
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Speaker 3: always been this superstar athlete that got all the girls

400
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Speaker 3: and it's like I used to be very small. I

401
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 3: was bullied, I was friend zoned by girls, I was

402
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Speaker 3: called big brother. I was a terrible athlete, you know,

403
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Speaker 3: And so like for me, it's like you're judging me

404
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Speaker 3: based on what I look like today, and you're treating

405
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Speaker 3: me like I've been that stereotypical douchebag that like that

406
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Speaker 3: just has always gotten his way and it couldn't be

407
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Speaker 3: for the truth. So like my ego does get very

408
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Speaker 3: upset and agitated with the fact that like people throw

409
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Speaker 3: that on me and like he's just another six foot

410
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Speaker 3: five white guy that's full of himself, that's always had

411
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Speaker 3: everything given to him. And it's like, no, I've worked

412
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Speaker 3: really hard to acquire what I have. Like everything I've

413
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Speaker 3: gotten has all been through hard work, and I feel

414
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Speaker 3: like it goes unacknowledged. And so that part of it. Yes,

415
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Speaker 3: I have an inflamed ego at times where I'm like,

416
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Speaker 3: I'm so sick of you all trying to discredit the

417
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Speaker 3: hard work that I've put in and you're trying to

418
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Speaker 3: say that I'm this when I'm not, Like I would

419
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Speaker 3: just see me as I am. But it doesn't seem

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Speaker 3: like any of you want to see me as I am.

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Speaker 3: You want to place upon my shoulders what you want

422
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Speaker 3: me to be, which I feel is unfair. I I

423
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Speaker 3: really I don't. I don't believe at all I'm anywhere

424
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Speaker 3: near that you know, cocky, full of himself, d bag

425
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Speaker 3: that has you know, just always gotten his way, Like

426
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 3: my life perception is completely different. So and I'm trying

427
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Speaker 3: to inspire people to be like, hey, you can build

428
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 3: this too. If you're not happy with your life, you

429
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 3: can also acquire these things through hard work and determination.

430
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Speaker 3: Like that's the message I'm trying to send. And it

431
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Speaker 3: just it really feels like it's just blocked left and

432
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 3: right every everywhere I go. I will so I will say,

433
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 3: I feel like I've explained myself less recently, Like I'm

434
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 3: not going on as much a podcast to try to

435
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 3: explain who I am anymore. But yeah, certainly you're you're

436
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 3: you're you're right with that being. Something that I've been

437
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 3: on a mission to try to do for so long

438
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,479
Speaker 3: is try to get people to see me for what

439
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 3: I believe I am, which is I don't feel as

440
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 3: an alignment with what the perception has perceived or the

441
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 3: public has perceived me in the past, like I'm not

442
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 3: a saint. I've tried to tell people that from the jump,

443
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 3: Like I'm like, i am not a saint. Like that's

444
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,400
Speaker 3: why this podcast I have in a released right now.

445
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,399
Speaker 3: I told the producers, I said, portray me as I am. Like,

446
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 3: the problemse is when you try to make me seem

447
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 3: like I'm this saint, like just good old Missouri boy,

448
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 3: which I'm like, yeah, I'm got good Missouri roots, but

449
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 3: like I'm also.

450
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, you're a bad boy too.

451
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm a bad boy would say that,

452
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 3: but I mean, I don't know. I guess it defends

453
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 3: your ass, but like, I'm just not a saint. It

454
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 3: felt to me I was getting death threats. I was

455
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 3: getting people saying worst Bachelor whatever, you know, yeah, trashing

456
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 3: me left and right wherever they could. The follow up

457
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 3: season with you and you and Gabby Rachel, like, well.

458
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:33,879
Speaker 2: The same thing happened to me.

459
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

460
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,719
Speaker 1: I think there's like, yeah, you guys, like the entire

461
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 1: like universe of just being a lead in itself, but

462
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 1: going on reality TV, it's like, again not to excuse it,

463
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 1: and it's not something that we obviously have to be

464
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 1: okay with but it is there's a level of or

465
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 1: an expectation in Rachel. You mentioned this last week on

466
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: our recording with Rachel Lindsay, is that we then step

467
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: into this zone or you know, where we are. Everything

468
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 1: that we do has to be without flaw, Like we

469
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: don't even get the grace to make an air or mistake,

470
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 1: which is the reality. And anyone who watches the show,

471
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 1: if they were to step in our positions, they would

472
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: so so quickly learn that it is impossible to literally

473
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 1: do this without making a mistake.

474
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 5: Even people who are deemed.

475
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: Perfect, their errors are their trust and believe.

476
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 3: Like I, there was a safe path when I was

477
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,479
Speaker 3: the Bachelor for me to be able to not be

478
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 3: seen as a bad guy, like and I chose not

479
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 3: to take that. And it was like, you know, I'm

480
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 3: gonna go follow my heart and I'm going to push

481
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 3: through this. But there was a point at which I

482
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 3: didn't have to, you know, like I could have just

483
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 3: went a different direction and stayed away from any type

484
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 3: of like massive blow up. I mean for the most part,

485
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 3: you know, our season that we were on together, Rachel

486
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 3: and I like it was. I would say it's pretty boring,

487
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 3: Like overall, it was tracking towards boring, like boring typical

488
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 3: love story, and like that's what happens is sleaves are like, hey,

489
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 3: if I'm supposed to lock in with one person and

490
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 3: then I'll be given you know this great at it

491
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 3: because like if I stay away from the drama and

492
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 3: I lock in with one person, Everyone's like, oh, I

493
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 3: gets such an incredible love story. I'll be honest.

494
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: We had some pretty good villains, Clayton. I don't know

495
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 2: if that's true. I lived in that house well, and

496
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 2: you kept those villains around for a while.

497
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 4: Y'all season was crazy.

498
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,959
Speaker 3: True. Yeah, I'm not going to like why they were

499
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 3: kept long. You can only say so much so.

500
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 2: We're allowed to talk about it now.

501
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 3: So I don't know. I don't trust that we won't.

502
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 4: We won't spend time talking about that today. What we're

503
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 4: going to do. I I do appreciate you, Clayton.

504
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 1: Obviously you're always so open, But I think the real

505
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: reason is that I want to dive in and learn

506
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: so much more about your podcast. I was very fortunate

507
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: to listen to two episodes and it's been amazing. Obviously,

508
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: I know you've had a crazy past a few years

509
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 1: of months so I would love to know, and you

510
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 1: can kind of just take us through, like your podcast,

511
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 1: what's it about?

512
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 5: You know, what was that like? Building it up?

513
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 4: Tell us everything?

514
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, so look like the podcasts, basically it's

515
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 3: all centered around me in a paternity scandal that ended

516
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 3: up also involving multiple other victims. And this is a

517
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 3: now ten I call like a ten year operation that

518
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 3: this woman has been conducting with an with involvement from

519
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 3: her family. So it's a family or ordeal that they

520
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 3: have orchestrated over the years to try to destroy men

521
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 3: and their reputation of men that don't want to be

522
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 3: with her. So she, you know, with a lack of

523
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 3: self love, tries to attack and destroy the man to

524
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 3: make you know, him feel as poorly as she does.

525
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 3: That's my belief is why she as far as why

526
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 3: she does it. But like this podcast basically takes you

527
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 3: through the entire three years that I have been spending

528
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 3: fighting this woman. So it takes you to the very beginning,

529
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 3: and then it takes you through all the emails, the

530
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 3: text messages, you know, the courts, appearances, and it takes

531
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 3: you all the way through that to where we get

532
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 3: to at the end of the podcast, which will lead

533
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 3: up right into the end of July, which is when

534
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 3: she is facing fourteen felony charges, so she faces trial

535
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 3: at the end of July. Here, So to me, this

536
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 3: is a bridge, Like this podcast really, what it's meant

537
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 3: to do is to keep the fire hot so that

538
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 3: we don't lose momentum going into this court case, because

539
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 3: she would offer an appeal and I personally don't feel

540
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 3: like it was enough to hold her accountable. And to me,

541
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 3: if she gets off, she'll do it again, if she

542
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 3: gets a slap on the wrist. So really this is

543
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 3: just one issue. Like I'm fortunate because I have, you know,

544
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 3: privilege to be a former lead of a show, so

545
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 3: like that's probably why that's actually exactly why I got

546
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: all the attention it got in the first place. These

547
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 3: other men are private figures. They didn't get that attention,

548
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 3: so they didn't have help and support like what I've

549
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,400
Speaker 3: been able to pull in. So you know, really we're

550
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 3: just now just account of trying to band together and

551
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 3: get accountability to be had. So that's what this podcast

552
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 3: really is, is just a bridge into that final you

553
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 3: know hearing on the you know late July to hopefully

554
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 3: get her locked up. That's what we're shooting for.

555
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 2: I was going to ask, what is your ideal outcome

556
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 2: for the situation? You want her in prison?

557
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 3: Fell in with five to ten years? Yeah, that would

558
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 3: be like my you know, hope, and it's I don't

559
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 3: think it's unwarranted. I know some people have said, like, oh, well,

560
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 3: she didn't kill anybody, she said that herself, but I don't.

561
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 3: I don't like that excuse. I think she really severely

562
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 3: plagued my mental health and the mental health of the

563
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 3: other men. And while none of us have you know,

564
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 3: taken our lives like we got too points where we

565
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 3: were you know, very dark thoughts. And I'm like, you know, really,

566
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: if it was up to her, she wouldn't have cared.

567
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 3: And it was our decision to make whether we just

568
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 3: you know, we stayed or went. And so I'm like,

569
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 3: she might as well have had tried to take us out.

570
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 3: So I don't take lightly. I don't take mental health lightly.

571
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, look, I think she deserves every bit of

572
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 3: time behind bars. She still admits that, you know, she's

573
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 3: still finding it. She's she's still saying she's not guilty,

574
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 3: So she hasn't had any accountability from the get go,

575
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 3: So it's like the only thing we can do then

576
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 3: is just like, you know, lock her up and then

577
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 3: hopefully in that isolation, she'll you know, mentally break down

578
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 3: and start to unpack what is so deeply rooted within her.

579
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you mind me asking how is your mental health?

580
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: Like I feel like in the present day after I mean,

581
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: you're still kind of obviously involved and it's still ongoing,

582
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: but how do you feel like it's upheld itself?

583
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was, Uh, I was just on like chatgyby

584
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 3: two this morning actually, because like I've gotten I've been

585
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 3: very much tested, like this year in twenty twenty six

586
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: with just like life things with work, family, things here

587
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 3: and there, and like and just close friends. It's like

588
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 3: there's been a lot of like issues popping up that

589
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 3: have all hit it once and like so for me,

590
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 3: it's just been a you know time of like a

591
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: lot of like I have to have really great resiliency

592
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 3: and you know, but also I'm like, hey, look like

593
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 3: I'm no longer trying to really prove myself. Like I'm

594
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 3: not spending as much as you're trying to prove myself.

595
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 3: I'm just you know, putting myself out there as I am,

596
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 3: but like now that I am not a people pleaser anymore,

597
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: because I would say I've probably rid of myself of that.

598
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, what am I? What's driving me? If it's

599
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 3: not me trying to prove my worth, then like driving me.

600
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 3: So I say all that to say, like, I had

601
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 3: a very deep like thought process this morning, so it's

602
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 3: fresh on my mind. But this is fine. It's just

603
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 3: like I'm in this like reflective stage of my life

604
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 3: where I'm like if I'm not, if if the motivation

605
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,640
Speaker 3: to prove my worth is not the main driving driver,

606
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 3: than what is? And I'm in this like weird in

607
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 3: between stage where it's like, well I don't have anything

608
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 3: to prove, so why do I need to like you know,

609
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 3: show up and try to you know, be great today?

610
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 3: And it's like, well want two. But all that to

611
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: say like there's always something to spin in my head. Yeah,

612
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 3: so thanks for asking, but like yeah, it's just like think,

613
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 3: look I have like everything is great, I mean overall,

614
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 3: like every it's all perspective, Like I'm just I'm just

615
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: like I really feel like I went most of my

616
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 3: life with my brain switched off. No like emotions were

617
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 3: ever really discussed or thought about. Like I didn't really

618
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 3: feel like I didn't really know what emotions I was feeling.

619
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 3: I was just like existing and then all of a sudden,

620
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 3: like I'll never forget, I said in college to one

621
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 3: of my exes, she said she was having an anxiety attack.

622
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 3: I said why, I said, well, why don't you just

623
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 3: like not think about it? Like that's how ignorant I

624
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 3: was to emotions. That to her place, I was like, well,

625
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 3: I just don't think about it, you know that that

626
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 3: and that's why I don't get anxiety. I said that

627
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 3: serious to I guess how it works. But like that

628
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 3: was ignorant I was to emotions and regulation. So like

629
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 3: I'm still like, okay from that point removed, I don't know,

630
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 3: seven years and it's like, you know, meanwhile, women are

631
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: just emotional, you know, like they're they're they're very like

632
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 3: emotionally regulated, and they they're they mature faster. So I

633
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 3: feel like I'm playing catch up. I'm like I'm a

634
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 3: guy absent from doing this, so now I'm just trying

635
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 3: to like get to a place where I can be

636
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 3: caught up and act my age.

637
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: Yeah or little really maybe yeah, yeah, I mean I

638
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: listened to both the episodes. I thought the narrator, I

639
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 2: think she does like a really awesome job at telling

640
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: the story. How did you get approached toward this? Was

641
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 2: it you that was seeking out a platform? No?

642
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 3: I I had like companies keep reaching out time. I

643
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 3: probably five companies that reached out, and probably three of

644
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 3: them I was I said no to because I just

645
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 3: didn't think the production quality was there, but there was interest.

646
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 3: People were like, hey, we want to really tell you

647
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 3: a story. We think this is this this needs to

648
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 3: be heard. And and so then when they reached out,

649
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 3: I did some background on like what they had, you know,

650
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 3: created prior, and I was like, this is actually like

651
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 3: to the level that I would want it to be

652
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 3: told at. Like I don't want to just like do

653
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 3: podcasts to do a podcast. I want to be able

654
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 3: to like put something out there that is impactful and

655
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 3: that will make a difference, and we'll share, you know,

656
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 3: the story and the way that it needs to be told.

657
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 3: And Stephanie has become a close, you know, good friend

658
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 3: of mine. Now she's listening to me talk so much

659
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 3: that like I've gotten tired of talking to her, only

660
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 3: because I'm tired of hearing. But she's like, hey, like

661
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 3: she listens to all of it. She's a great listener.

662
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 3: And I was like, this is the right person. Like

663
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 3: it's a lot of information. So yeah, it just happened

664
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,479
Speaker 3: to kind of manifest and I was I didn't want

665
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: to do the podcast at first. I only wanted to

666
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 3: like I was like, I'm only doing this if it's documentary.

667
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 3: But then they convinced me, and you know, and I'm

668
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 3: glad I did it. Like at this point, it's been

669
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 3: so cool to see the other victims, how like hope

670
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: has like come back into them, like they they lost

671
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 3: it for a long period of time, and so I've

672
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 3: seen the strength come back and it's just like, wow,

673
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 3: this has become bigger than me. Not to mention like

674
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 3: the twenty to thirty you know dms. I've gotten of

675
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 3: men or women that know, like their brother that's went

676
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: through something similar. It's like, Okay, this is actually you know,

677
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 3: inspiring and giving people hope. Like there's something bigger here.

678
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 3: So if we platform it to a higher degree, maybe this,

679
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 3: you know, impacts even more people.

680
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I noticed and I was listening that Susie was

681
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 2: interview has she been supportive during all this, or what's

682
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 2: her role been in all this?

683
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was. She was like in the now, I

684
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 3: was saying in the mix of it, like I I

685
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 3: think I kind of talked about this in the podcast

686
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 3: where I've said another podcast, I had seen Susie like

687
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 3: a week and a half prior to me actually like

688
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 3: hooking up with this Laura girl.

689
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 4: Wow.

690
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 3: So I was really really bothered by Like when I

691
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 3: met up with Susie, like a lot of the old

692
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 3: emotions came back and it was like maybe we should

693
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 3: try this again, and like it was a lot of

694
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 3: those feelings, and so I ended up, you know, getting

695
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 3: like I went home and I was like using marijuana

696
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 3: heavily to like cope because I was just trying to

697
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: numb myself because I just I felt overwhelmed with emotion

698
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 3: and it was just I was like, I just need

699
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 3: to like cut this feeling out. I can't handle this

700
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 3: with sober mind. So as like it started to begin,

701
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: like I had just seen her, so we were already

702
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: kind of like just chatting a little bit, and I

703
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: shared this with her and and so then she was

704
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 3: just kind of like in the background, you know, just

705
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 3: like provided me like, well, hey, I support you and

706
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 3: whatever I can do to help. So she was. She

707
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 3: was there at like the beginning of it, and and

708
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 3: that's why, you know, they approached her because I had

709
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,239
Speaker 3: brought up I was like, yeah, the reason why I

710
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 3: even like was under the influence of marijuana that night

711
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 3: and decided to engage with this Laura girl was because

712
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 3: like I was like medicating myself with marijuana, like just

713
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,239
Speaker 3: trying to cope with the emotions that were coming up

714
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 3: from like the previous weekend when I was oh, yeah,

715
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 3: that's how that came about.

716
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.

717
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is just such a crazy story. I mean,

718
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people do know about it,

719
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: but there's a huge majority that don't. What's the message

720
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 2: that you want to get out like with this podcast?

721
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean a couple of things. I think the

722
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 3: two would be, you know, fight for yourself, because no

723
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 3: one will fight as hard as you do. I mean

724
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, like you know, I decided to when

725
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 3: she went public, I decided to throw a microscope on it,

726
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: and I was like, you know, meg to grab the megaphone.

727
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, if we're going to do this,

728
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 3: like like I got nothing to hide, guys, So like

729
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 3: I'm going to fight for justice, and I'm going to

730
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 3: bring you all along, like I'm not going to be

731
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 3: ashamed of what you know I've done. And you know,

732
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 3: I'm just going to defend myself because if I don't

733
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 3: do it, no one is and she'll take advantage of me.

734
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 3: So I would say, you know, to stand up, like

735
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 3: if you feel like you've been wrong, like fighting for yourself.

736
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 3: And then also just I hope this inspires people or

737
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 3: just like shows them the power of of you know,

738
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,239
Speaker 3: many so the power of a community. I mean, this

739
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 3: wouldn't be a podcast. You know, I wouldn't have gotten

740
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 3: legal representation, and this wouldn't have made it as far

741
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 3: as it has if it wasn't for this community that's

742
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 3: you know, that has revolved around me and the other

743
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 3: men and you know has paid legal fees at times

744
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 3: for us and for the end to get and push

745
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 3: this along and uncovered new information. It really shows like

746
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 3: the power of a community. So you know, if you

747
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 3: think like no one's going to, you know, support me,

748
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 3: you don't know obviously until you speak up. And when

749
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 3: I I had no idea that this magnitude of a

750
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 3: community would be created, so hopefully it gets other people

751
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 3: to be like, hey, maybe if I speak up, I'll

752
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 3: have some support there that can help me as well.

753
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 3: For sure.

754
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 1: No, I mean I just cannot imagine. I really can't,

755
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: Like I know, it is really so like even just

756
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 1: like I was telling Rachel, like listening to your first

757
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: two episodes, like I've followed some majority of the case,

758
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: but just like the intricate details, it's just so mind blowing.

759
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: And I obviously, like I commend you for even just

760
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: having the courage to speak out about this, but I know,

761
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: obviously there's like a deeper intention in reason, which I

762
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 1: know for a fact, like you said, you are helping

763
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 1: so many other people who find them themselves unfortunately in

764
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:52,240
Speaker 1: these situations. But we are obviously reading for you, Clayton,

765
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: like we are happy to have you and talk about

766
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 1: this anytime, But before we go, I do want to

767
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 1: end episode with something super super fun, a little more

768
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: light hearted. This is a crazy question I'm gonna ask you,

769
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 1: but I need your full trance.

770
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 5: No, don't get scared, relax, it's not I'm not scared.

771
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: I'm not.

772
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: He said.

773
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 3: This is like the craziest cause, like of everything we've

774
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:17,439
Speaker 3: already said.

775
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just answer, Yeah, I'm just curious where

776
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: your answer is going to be. Okay, so we're gonna

777
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: do a little would you rather so? But only you

778
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: only get two options. Okay, get casted on Dancing with

779
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 1: the Stars, but unfortunately you're eliminated the very first week.

780
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: Or go get cast on Taylor Frankie Pause Bachelorette season,

781
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: but she says no to your proposal at the very end,

782
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: So you're one of the final two.

783
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 2: The not.

784
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 3: I said if I said if I went on Dancing

785
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 3: with the Stars ever, I was like, I just would

786
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 3: not want to get sent home night one. That's exactly

787
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 3: the same concern I had when I went on the Bachorette.

788
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want to get sent whole

789
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 3: night one. But I mean it's kind of like, it's

790
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 3: kind of they're both.

791
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 4: They're both hard.

792
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: Technically, if you were a final two, that means you're

793
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 1: you're I would hope that you're invested at that point.

794
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess see, I can't like overanalyze

795
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: this whole thing. I was like, yeah, obviously I would

796
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 3: be into her at that point. Taylor, I would have

797
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 3: been like, oh, I really like this girl, right, Mmm,

798
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 3: that's hard. I don't know, you know, I I you not.

799
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: Picking Dancing that the Stars immediately is throwing.

800
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:38,320
Speaker 4: Me off.

801
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 2: Because that's such an honor.

802
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 4: I think.

803
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 3: That was my first thought. But then I was like

804
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 3: starting to overthinking. I was like, well, to be honest

805
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 3: with you, like, I'm not trying to say anything here,

806
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 3: and she's I'm probably not her type, but like Taylor

807
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 3: Frank Paul is just not my type. So I was like,

808
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 3: I wouldn't I wouldn't make it to the final too,

809
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 3: so that's not really realistic. But if I did, like because.

810
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 4: I might be her type, yeah, you never know.

811
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 3: But I also wouldn't stick it out just to stick

812
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,879
Speaker 3: it out all the way till the end. Yeah, that's

813
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 3: just not I don't. I wouldn't care to do that.

814
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, I guess it would be Dance with the Stars.

815
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 3: I mean, as long as I get that initial paycheck,

816
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:12,399
Speaker 3: we're good.

817
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: And listen, they always bring back the entire cast at

818
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,240
Speaker 1: the finale, so you will get more than one opportunity

819
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 1: to dance and sharecase you're skinned.

820
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, I guess that would be the

821
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 3: simple answer.

822
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 4: And no, okay, yeah, I get that.

823
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 5: I think I was expecting that answer out of you

824
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 5: mean too.

825
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well that was fun, guys. I uh yeah, thanks.

826
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 3: I I appreciate you obviously, just give me a platform

827
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 3: to talk about this. And it's always yeah, like you

828
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 3: guys have been both super great. Obviously, Charity, I got

829
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 3: to talk to you. I think the first time was

830
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,879
Speaker 3: it was a grand AFR. That was the first.

831
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was AFR.

832
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, And it's awesome you and a dot and

833
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 3: like how great things are going from what I can see,

834
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 3: you guys are just super sweet. So it's like, obviously

835
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 3: this process, you know, does work very well, and it's

836
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,879
Speaker 3: like cool to see you guys going strong and then

837
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 3: you know, then Rachel and.

838
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:06,400
Speaker 2: I will.

839
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 3: Find our well. Rachel, you actually, last I heard little Bertie,

840
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 3: you were at least at one point talking to somebody.

841
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 4: Please.

842
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 2: I can't even get into that.

843
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 4: God, thank you are dropping pause? Are we dropping gyms

844
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 4: right now?

845
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 3: Yours?

846
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: I mean we're not, we're cutting this.

847
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 3: I was to say Gabby's name earlier, so I'm not afraid.

848
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 3: I'll just I'll also say this other person.

849
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 4: Okay, they're gonna cut it out. This is my podcast.

850
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 5: Bye, Clayton, here we go.

851
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: You know we're gonna leave things as they are, in

852
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: a good standing because I just love peace and happiness

853
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: for all parties involved. So with that being said, thank

854
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: you Clayton again. We appreciate you coming on. I appreciate

855
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 1: you and your vulnerability and your courage to speak out

856
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 1: on all things. But truly, I think it's really important,

857
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: and as you know, I'm a huge advocate for mental health,

858
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: so I really do look up to you for that

859
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: and respect you for that.

860
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 4: But that's all that we're going to talk about on

861
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 4: today's episode.

862
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 5: But we would love to have you back anytime.

863
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 4: Please feel free to come.

864
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 5: But yeah, with that being said, thank you so much

865
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 5: for coming on.

866
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 4: And that's it.

867
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 5: Rachel, anything you want to add to that.

868
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 2: No, thank you Clayton for coming on. I'm sure it

869
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,720
Speaker 2: was not easy to log on and have to face

870
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 2: me and Charity's questions, but you did amazing and we

871
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: look forward to listening to the rest of the podcast.

872
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 2: Itich I'm hooked already, so everyone go listen to that

873
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: if you get the chance, and thank you again for

874
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: coming on. And you guys make sure to like and subscribe.

875
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 2: We'll have new episodes soon and we don't have an

876
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: ending yet. If you have any ideas, lay end next time.

877
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 4: Bye, bye,