WEBVTT - “MY DAD IS BEING A JERK” 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:01.800 Call from Nina. 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:07.360 Hello, Hello, what's up. How's it going? 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:12.399 Hi, it's going pretty good. I did not expect you 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:13.760 to pick up. This is crazy. 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:19.599 What's your name? Nina Mina or Nina? 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:26.239 Nina like? And I am a N with an N. 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:28.440 Yes with an N. 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:31.160 That's a stupid thing to say, N with an N. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.720 That was you know how people say like b as 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:37.519 in boy. That was the opposite. It was like ooohs 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:41.760 and boo. I had no new information on the second line. 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:45.559 I was just saying about that nonsense, you know what? 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:47.879 And that's okay. I feel like people fuck up the 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:49.200 phonetic alphabet a lot. 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:59.840 Thank you, n Nina. Yes, it's very forgiving of you. 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.040 What were you going to say? 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:03.680 I was gonna say, how's your day? 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:07.640 Knowing how's my day going? Uh, my day's going okay. 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:13.640 I'm in the middle of a lot of mental reorganization. 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:19.720 H But I think that that is kind of a 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:23.520 constant of life. Things keep moving, something ever stays the same. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:27.640 Uh what about you? What's up with you? 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:27.760 Me? 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:30.119 And what made you want to call the Gecko Show today? 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:37.480 Well, I like, I always listen to your podcast, so 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:39.440 I just really wanted. 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:42.839 To call in and I guess I was like kind 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:43.560 of like an. 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:47.920 Ongoing issue that I don't really think there's a solution to. 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:50.080 I guess interesting. 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:57.320 So yeah, yeah, sorry, I kind of have to make 0:01:57.360 --> 0:02:03.040 this a little quick because I am at work. But yeah, 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:08.800 so basically I don't really like have a great relationship 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:14.760 with my dad, you know, like he just consistently is 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.480 not really there for me in the ways that I 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:19.320 need him to be, like emotionally, Like he's there for 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:22.400 me financially, but like that's not all like a person needs, 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:28.600 you know. And so basically like we constantly will get 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:30.920 him to like fights about this because he doesn't like 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:35.760 understand that you know that you can you have to 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:41.800 show for someone in multiple ways. And he also like 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.400 when I try to kind of like curate that relationship 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.400 and build it, he'll like constantly like use anything that 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:49.680 I say, like about myself like against me. 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:53.560 But it's kind of like a. 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:57.360 Difference, I'm sorry, or he'll use what you say about 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:58.880 you against you. What does that mean? 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:05.080 So, like, for example, like I had like this ex boyfriend, 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:07.760 and like I was telling him kind of about the 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:11.240 situation because we had broken up, and I told him 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:14.320 that like my ex boyfriend had said that he thought 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:18.600 I was a bit selfish, and my dad was like, yeah, 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.120 your ex boyfriend was right, you definitely are selfish, and 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.640 you like told me that like while we were in 0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:28.000 an argument. So it's like things that I say, like 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:30.840 in my life, Like he'll use that against me. 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.240 Who but what's your dad's what's your dad's deal? Like, 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:39.520 who is he is the person? What's what's give me? 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:40.680 Okay? 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:43.840 Yeah, so he has a lot going on himself too, 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:50.560 Like he was adopted and he also like was adopted 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:53.200 by a family that was like not really great, Like 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:55.160 my dad's a black man and he was adopted by 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:55.960 a white family. 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:58.760 And so it's just it wasn't really like a great 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:01.640 like mix up. Like they they were. 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:06.760 Like kind of I would say, abusive, I guess. So 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.360 he never really had like a great like upbringing. He 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:13.520 ended up like going to like jail for like a 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:16.080 year or two, and then he got out and like 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:20.479 he became a lawyer. So now he's a lawyer, So 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.680 he has like a really like crazy upbringing. 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:28.559 But because I don't are here your mom still together? 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:31.560 No, So they were actually like. 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:37.880 They only dated for like a little bit, but then 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:40.159 they had me when my mom was like twenty and 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:42.400 he was like twenty thirty or something like that. 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:46.760 So they were like just dating. They were never married 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:47.479 or anything like that. 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:55.120 Hmm. And so should I go up? Uh huh yeah, yeah, 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:56.480 go ahead, go ahead? 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:58.760 Okay. So should I go on about like the actual 0:04:58.839 --> 0:04:59.679 issue at hand? 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:00.480 Oh? 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.760 Sorry? Sorry, I didn't I thought. Uh I thought you 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:04.440 did get into the actual issue. Let's hear it. 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:04.760 No. 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:09.640 Sorry, So, like, so he's there for me financially, like 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.480 I'm in school now and he's able to, like I guess, 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:17.360 like pay for that stuff. But like I really hate 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.680 like talking to him and being around him and stuff 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:24.040 like that. And if I like try to like not 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.920 talk to him or listen to him, he like will 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:30.240 threaten me like to like stop paying for school or 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.880 something like that. So like I feel like I'm kind 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:34.960 of like really stuck in this situation because like I 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:37.839 don't really want to talk or interact with him, but 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.680 like I need him to be there for to pay 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.360 for my school. 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:48.840 Ooh interesting, okay, yeah, okay, So the dilemma is that 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:56.200 your dad is not like interacting with you, uh in 0:05:56.279 --> 0:05:58.880 the way that you need him to like be there 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:03.840 for you, but you also are still reliant upon him 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:09.960 financially exactly. But also but in addition to that, there 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:15.839 was also a genuine desire to interact with your dad 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:19.599 on the level that you desire to, not just purely 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:21.960 financial motivation. 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:25.359 Yeah, no, it really wasn't. I feel like I just 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.960 tried so many times, and like recently in November, like 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:32.920 during Thanksgiving time, me and him got into like this 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.320 really big argument and he said like a lot of 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:38.000 things that were like really hurtful to me. And I 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:40.480 just feel like I can't be around someone who is 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:43.080 going to, you know, put me down and isn't going 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.760 to be like contributing to my life in like a 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:46.520 positive way. 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:51.440 Yeah, that's really tough. And I'm I I Mina. 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:55.720 Me and or Nina, Nina, and I am I heard 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:56.080 an end? 0:06:56.120 --> 0:07:00.840 I heard an end? Yeah, Nina, first of all, Mina, 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:05.320 I I'm really uh genuine, I'm very sorry to hear 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:07.680 that this is going on with you and your dad, 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:11.400 because uh no one fucking you know deserves that from 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:15.040 their parents. Yeah, you know, it's it's it's it's not cool. 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:21.000 You deserve better. And uh I'm sorry that you got unlucky. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:25.120 Uh in this situation because uh, I mean, that's the 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:27.200 that's a really tough but kind of sad thing, is 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:31.360 that the onus after you've kind of done your best 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:39.720 to express these feelings towards him about your relationship, you've 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:42.720 kind of seemed like you've put everything that you've got 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:48.400 on the table, and for him, it's like it's it's 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:52.600 it's such a bummer because you can't force anyone to 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.520 be any way other than they are. All you really 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:59.560 can do is put yourself on the table. And it's 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:02.440 a bummer because you see, you're his fucking daughter. He 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.200 should he shouldn't be, you know, telling you that you're 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:11.200 you know self. He shouldn't be, you know, he should 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:15.240 really be trying to appeal to you as his daughter. 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:22.080 So that's that's a shame, and I'm sorry about that. Now. 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:24.240 As as far as like what do you do, like 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:31.560 do you keep hanging out with him? Listen, I don't 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:36.120 think if you wanted to stand on your own principles 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:39.400 of whatever and say, you know, fuck it, I'm gonna 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.880 just try to figure out some other way to make 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:45.400 this happen financially, or take out a loan or do 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.439 do it whatever you know, if if that was the 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:52.240 decision of integrity that you wanted to make, I don't 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:58.360 think that there would be anything wrong with that. But 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:01.520 also if you if you swallow your pride and you 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.840 were like, he's my fucking dad. I'm gonna try my 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:10.280 best on my end to honor this relationship I have 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.560 with him. I'm gonna do one hundred percent of my 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:16.920 part of trying to be a good daughter, whatever whatever 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:20.680 that means to you. And if you go to bed 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:25.320 at night and you go I was the best version 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.920 of the best daughter, whatever that means to you. I 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:30.319 was the best version of myself in this in this 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:32.560 relationship I have with my dad, And you know what, 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.679 that's good enough for me to go to sleep at 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:38.560 night and feel like I tried, and you know, I 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:46.480 can kind of suck up whatever's coming from him. You know, 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:48.320 I don't think I don't think there's anything wrong with 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.120 that either. But I think there's a way to if 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.720 that's the route you want to go, I think there's 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.800 certain ways to do it that kind of still protect 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:57.400 your peace. That's one of them. Is I feel like 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:03.920 in a relationship like that, where you approach it as 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:07.800 best as you can within your ability, and sometimes that 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:14.800 means just like if there are if he's trying to 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.000 pick a fight or he's doing this, he's trying to 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:21.080 agitate you, and you just try to take the high 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:24.720 road every time, and you're like, I'm not gonna escalate 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.679 things with him. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna disengage. 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.400 I've put myself out on the table. I've told him 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.199 what I'm willing to deal with. I'm not gonna do it. 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:36.360 I'm gonna disengage. I'm not gonna take any bait. I'm 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.480 not gonna you know, I'm just gonna spend the minimum 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:44.680 amount of time around him as I need and then 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:47.360 be like, listen, man, I'm trying my best and the 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:48.079 rest is on you. 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:50.120 Yeah. 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:54.160 So I don't know if that was helpful, but that's 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:55.280 my ponder about it. 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:59.719 That's kind of the conclusion I came to already. But 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:03.439 like it just kind of sucks like a lot, and 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:08.400 like it also is like really annoying because I think, 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.120 why me and him clash laws because we have very 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.720 similar personalities and we're both pretty prideful people. So like 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.800 swallowing my pride is like a bit hard for me. 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.559 But I mean, I've like this kind of in this situation, 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:25.480 I feel like there's actually no winning, so I've kind 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:28.880 of like decided I kind of just have to do it. 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:33.199 Mm hmmm, hm, no, I feel I feel for you, dude. 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:36.480 It does suck, like it's it's ha's your relationship with 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.200 your mom? What's her? What's her? 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:39.960 Actually so good? 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.680 I love my mom so much. Me and her have 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:48.040 an amazing relationship and we're super close. We talk every day, 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.600 and I feel honestly feel like she's like my best friend, 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.640 Like she gets me, I feel like on every. 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:54.120 Level, So like that's wow. 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:57.240 A positive thing that I feel like I have out 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:58.400 of this is like my. 0:11:58.400 --> 0:11:59.280 Mom knows my dad. 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:03.679 She's been a him for longer than I have, so 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:06.719 she like kinda is able to like give me reassurance 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.480 and like able to help me navigate how to handle 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:11.720 things with him in the way where I'm still able 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:14.800 to like get what I need financially, but like not 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:17.320 be her emotionally. Mm hmm. 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.680 What's your mom's take on this whole thing? 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.040 She is kind of just like. 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:28.240 She kind of thinks one, I should kind of just 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:31.079 fake it till I make it and then like because 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.160 I still have to go Like right now, I'm in 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:38.000 like my third year of school of university and I 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.240 still have to go to like medical school or that's 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:43.080 my goal. So like I still have like I'm gonna 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:44.440 have to rely on my parents for a little bit. 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:46.599 So she's like either faked so you make it, or 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:48.959 just kind of don't like you know how he is, 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.920 So it's like, don't let these things affect you. But 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.280 of course that's easier said than done. 0:12:54.400 --> 0:13:02.719 Right right, m how long have they been a part for? 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.680 How long have they been divorced or separate? 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:10.199 So they were never married, but they've been a part 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:13.840 for like my whole life, like since I was born. 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:16.160 They've pretty much been like not together. 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:18.360 M M. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:22.480 Well, I'm glad that you know, at least one of 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.400 your parental relationships worked out pretty well. 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:27.880 Yeah, I'm really happy about that too. 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:32.000 Mm hmm. Yeah. 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:35.000 Again, don't streuss stuff out about too. I I I 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.080 feel for you. It's a bummer having a parent that 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:44.200 is like not supportive of you in that way. But yeah, 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.679 my my my feeling is that like after you put 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:50.560 yourself out there, the onus is really on him. He's 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:55.640 got to make a separate call. We'll talk me and 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:56.040 your dad. 0:13:56.080 --> 0:14:01.200 That'd be interesting, No, I've I I wish that would happen, 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.720 but I don't know. I feel like even if he 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.080 like we me and him have had conversations about it, 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:10.600 and like he's kind of been honest with me, but 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:14.160 I feel like he like weaponizes him in his like 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:18.400 childhood for like to like be the reasoning for why 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.520 he can't like build this relationship now. But it's also 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.640 like you're forty years old, like get your shit together, 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:24.560 you know, yeah. 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:29.560 Of course, or like forty five no, yeah, yeah, at 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:31.720 that point you gotta get your fucking shit together. 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:32.800 Yeah. 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:35.360 I feel like there's only so long that you can 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.000 really like be in that mindset. And I also feel 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:44.400 like that's kind of common with people like today, honestly, Oh. 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:48.240 What just like blaming childhood trauma for a little too long? 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:54.320 Yeah, or just like yeah, like yeah I would say that. 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:59.520 Yeah, uh yeah, childhood trauma and shit like that. 0:14:59.560 --> 0:14:59.680 There. 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:05.600 It's good for uh, it's good for getting to where 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.440 you are now if that information is helpful to it's 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:16.360 good for understanding yourself, but it can't be like this continuous, 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:20.240 uh road block you have to you have to kind 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:21.600 of want to get that's what you have to kind 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.760 of want to get over it. And times and some 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:28.480 people they just don't like have the desire to get 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.920 over it or the strength and the energy. H and 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.160 I yeah, I get why as it gets older, as 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:40.640 you get older, there's less of inclination for that. 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:41.440 Yeah. 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:43.920 I feel like people just have to like want to 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:46.880 help themselves. And if you don't, obviously there's going to 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.000 be no change and you're just going to be stuck 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.920 in like the same cycle or same place. 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:52.480 That you're at. 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:55.600 Mm hmm. What are you going to school for? 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:58.479 Behavioral neuroscience? 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:04.400 Behavioral neurosciencience? Okay, what have you learned anything about what 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:09.240 you should do in this situation from a behavioral neuro 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:11.160 science perspective? 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:13.480 I mean, like. 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:20.040 Hm, honestly, like no, I mean I'm not like super 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.040 psych We're more like biology. 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.840 Do you ever like think of yourself as a rat 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:26.680 pulling a lever? 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:31.360 Honestly, yes, a little bit. 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.640 I feel like I keep pulling the lever that is 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.240 the relationship with my dad, and I keep getting the 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.040 same result, so it's like I'm not learning at all. 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.680 Oh yeah, yeah, damn isn't that the whole point of 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.240 behavior in our sciences? We make rats pull a bunch 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.880 of levers, and then that tells us whether or not 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:51.160 we're supposed to repair our relationship with our father. 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.800 Yeah. Yeah, honestly, that is like the whole point. But 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.760 we do a whole lot of fucked up shit to rats. 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:57.280 Can't lie. 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:03.720 Yeah, yeah, you think you think the rats? Ever? Do 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:08.040 you think any of them feel like they should be 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.320 serving us humans? Do you think any of them are like, like, 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:17.280 I will gladly give my life to humanity so that 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:21.840 they can like have a have like this cool perfume 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:24.920 or whatever it is, like the martyrs. 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:30.359 Honestly, no, Like I definitely don't think they think that. 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:32.680 But also I don't think they think that far. 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.040 But I don't know. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.120 The stuff that I've like or the studies that I've 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.280 read about like the I just things that we're doing 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.760 with the rats, like to prove whatever they're trying to prove. 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:49.400 Sometimes it's just the law. 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:55.280 Nina, Is there anything else you want to say to 0:17:55.320 --> 0:18:01.080 the people of the computer before we go? Oh? 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:03.240 I guess just like, never give up on yourself. 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:06.640 Beautiful, Thank you Nina? 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:11.120 All right, No, go have a good day. 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:17.160 That was Nina. Mm hmm, yeah, man, that stuff's a bummer. 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:23.360 I feel like it's just another one of those situations 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:30.360 where like you can't force another person to like exist 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:34.680 in a different way, although sometimes you get lucky and 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:37.520 you put yourself out there in some way, shape or 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:41.159 form and people are receptive to it. I feel like 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.000 I've seen people change, but they have to kind of 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:49.520 wanta hello, Hello, Hi, what's up? 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:55.880 Oh my gosh, no way, nothing, what's up with you? 0:18:56.240 --> 0:19:00.880 What's up with me? I'm in a room. It's kind 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:06.159 of dirty, it's a little depressing looking. Uh, it's dark, 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:17.560 there's clouds. I'm looking at a Gatorade zero bottle. It's 0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:21.600 half full. It's kind of beckoning me to drink it. 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:25.280 But it's a little too far away for me to 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:28.399 feel like getting up to go get it, so I'm 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.480 gonna stay here. What's your name? 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:34.440 My name is Maddix. 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:38.000 Did you say that already? 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:39.240 No? 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.800 I don't think So what are you doing, Maddis? 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:53.600 I am sitting here with my boyfriend and just watching 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:57.159 him play a game and calling you. And I can 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.399 see why people say they get nervous, because this is 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:00.000 make me nervous. 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:02.440 Now, what game is your boyfriend playing? 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:07.600 What are you playing? Rivals? 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:11.680 Marvel Rivals, Marvel Rivals. I've heard of Marvel Rivals. This 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:16.960 is not a psyop ad for Marvel Rivals. It's like 0:20:16.960 --> 0:20:20.480 one of the most advertised fucking games. I feel like 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:24.840 I'm seeing is it like, uh? Does it have all 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:27.520 the like uh Marvel characters in it? 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:27.639 Like? 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:29.680 Can you play as like Spider Man and shit? 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:33.440 Yes, yes you can. 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.400 I don't know much about it and this is not 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:37.840 sponsored by them, So. 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:40.600 Can you do me? Can you look at the screen 0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:41.160 right now? 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:44.359 Yes, I'm doing that. 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:50.159 And what do you use? What character do you see? 0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:55.560 She's got a great bod of really big booty, but 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:57.919 he will have to tell you no. 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:02.600 Invisible woman, Invisible woman, No way, is that fucking real? 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:08.920 That's wait, the Invisible woman is hold on Visible Woman? 0:21:08.960 --> 0:21:13.080 Is she one of the Fantastic Four? Okay, yeah, she's 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:15.879 in the Fantastic Store. I was wondering, I was, so, 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:18.400 are you playing as her or you're just looking at her? 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:23.560 I know I am playing as her, but my my 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:27.560 girlfriend's just watching me because she really wants to talk 0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:30.840 about something else. This is just a distraction for her. 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:34.000 She really wants to talk about something else. Okay, you 0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:35.000 can give the phone back to her. 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:39.000 Oh say, okay, I'm here. 0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:42.159 Okay, So you really want to talk about something besides 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:46.960 Marvel rivals. 0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:49.920 Preferably Yes, yes, I do want your your advice. 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:52.959 Oh please, yeah, please please? 0:21:56.760 --> 0:21:57.200 Do you? 0:21:57.280 --> 0:21:57.680 Okay? 0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:01.760 Do you have any context from my text or is 0:22:01.760 --> 0:22:02.400 that not a thing? 0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:05.200 No, that's not a thing. I have no context at all. 0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:09.359 Okay. 0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:15.200 Well, my mother is she has a severe spending addiction 0:22:15.560 --> 0:22:20.040 that is sabotaging my dad and I his relationship. And 0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:26.520 she's also been having a year's long affair and I'm 0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:30.000 the only one that knows about it, and I don't 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:31.359 know how to tell my dad. 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:38.920 M Okay, So what's the deal with her spending addiction? 0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:49.560 She just will not quit buying things. I'm an only child, 0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:53.800 just me and my parents. They live in a desperate context. 0:22:54.080 --> 0:22:59.000 They live in a five bedroom house, and three of 0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:05.960 the five bedroom sort of filled with things that she buys. 0:23:06.000 --> 0:23:09.320 And it's just gotten to the point where she's filled 0:23:09.400 --> 0:23:12.240 up the entire house, and my dad and I don't 0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:14.960 really know what to do with all of the ship 0:23:15.040 --> 0:23:15.760 she keeps buying. 0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:22.000 So she's a hoarder, yes, like a clean hoarder. 0:23:22.920 --> 0:23:23.160 Hmm. 0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:34.160 Okay. And but she likes very very she likes very okay. 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:37.000 She buys a lot of expensive fancy luxury ship. 0:23:39.359 --> 0:23:43.040 A yes, I mean not like Louis Vauton or anything, 0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:47.560 but very like three hundred dollars jeans ship like that. 0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:52.480 Okay? Do you? And so you live in this house? 0:23:52.520 --> 0:23:54.480 It's you, your dad and your mom. 0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:58.960 No. So I moved out when I was nineteen because 0:23:59.000 --> 0:24:03.440