1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 2: Some foundational stories coming. 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 3: Up for you. 5 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation. It's a little support 6 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes. We'll get 7 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: into the episode. 8 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 4: I asked my wife for a paternity test, but she 9 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 4: asked for a divorce in return. 10 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,760 Speaker 5: Uh oh, he lost the trust and the wife. Uh. 11 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 4: I met my wife through a mutual friend. We were 12 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 4: friends for a year or so before we both became 13 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 4: single and decided we were compatible enough to date. We 14 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 4: were together two years before we got married, and I 15 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 4: do not know what got into me. My wife is loyal, faithful, 16 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 4: but I had been reading statistics about how many men 17 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 4: are raising children that aren't their own and had absolutely 18 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,639 Speaker 4: no idea Around the time she found out she was pregnant. 19 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 4: We both wanted children, we weren't actively preventing it. And 20 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 4: by the way, this comes from user worried husband. Throw 21 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 4: one And if you want to submit your own stories, 22 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subredda submit them there. 23 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 4: So about three months and I couldn't take it anymore 24 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 4: and told her I wanted a paternity test. She asked 25 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 4: me if I was accusing her of cheating. I said, yes, dang, 26 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 4: what is wrong with you? 27 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 2: With no evidence whatsoever? 28 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 3: Ouch? 29 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 2: Man, what is wrong with you? Always get it like 30 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 2: the other way around kind of thing, you know. 31 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 3: Like it's it turns out that they're not cheating or something. 32 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, or like they asked like ops, like oh they 33 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 6: asked me for a paternity test, and like I don't. 34 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 4: Know, right, yeah, Usually it's not I asked them for 35 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 4: a paternity It's like I'm asking my wife forget Like, yeah, 36 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 4: I'm accusing my wife, I think, but it's just like no, 37 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:46,040 Speaker 4: I did it because I am easily swayed. Yeah, yeah, okay, 38 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 4: So I said, yes, I'm accusing you of cheating. She 39 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 4: asked me why, and I couldn't answer. What, guys, we 40 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 4: gotta keep going. There's gonna be one like that every sentence. 41 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 3: I bet, let's keep Oh my gosh. 42 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 2: Neither of us have ever been cheated on or have 43 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 2: been a cheater. 44 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 4: She works very hard, has long hours at her job, 45 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 4: but has always let me know where she is and 46 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,919 Speaker 4: who she will be with. If she was going somewhere 47 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 4: with friends, I was always welcomed I don't know why 48 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 4: I did this, and it's tearing me up. She told 49 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 4: me she would gladly give me my paternity test, but 50 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 4: that she was moving back to her mother's until that 51 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 4: time because she didn't know if she wanted to continue 52 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,959 Speaker 4: the marriage. She got an amniocentesis test at about twenty weeks. 53 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 4: I'm the father. And when she told me, I was 54 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 4: so happy, but she wasn't what you're doing this while 55 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 4: she's pregnant us. This isn't like a we have a 56 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 4: kid and we've raised it. Yeah, No, she's currently she's 57 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 4: literally pregnant right now with your child. 58 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. 59 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 6: And that test is a prenatal test where a small 60 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 6: sample of amniotic fluid is extracted from the sex surrounding 61 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 6: the fetus for diagnostic testing. 62 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: All right, so it's the baby daddy test. 63 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 4: He've got the baby daddy, green green light, green light, 64 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 4: baby daddy. 65 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 2: So I'm the father. And when she told me, I 66 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 2: was so happy. I was like God, but she wasn't. 67 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 4: She told me that she felt like she fell out 68 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 4: of love with me the minute I asked her, and 69 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 4: that she had no desire to reconcile. Our daughter was 70 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 4: born in July tenth My wife has gone through a 71 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 4: lawyer and has started through the motions of divorce and 72 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 4: issues of custody. She has since gotten her own apartment. 73 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 4: She said she wants to keep this as amicable as 74 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 4: possible for the sake of our daughter, but I just 75 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 4: want to be a family. She doesn't want support or 76 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 4: alimony because she makes more than enough to cover herself 77 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 4: and our daughter's needs and live a comfortable life. It's 78 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 4: taken since February to even get her to soften her 79 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 4: stance and even think about counseling. She said she loves me, 80 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 4: but she isn't sure she can get over this. 81 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 2: Now. 82 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 4: I'm trying to think of how to fix this, and 83 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 4: I'm just such a broken mess. I want to prepare 84 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 4: a list to talk about on Monday at counseling, but 85 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 4: I just can't think of anything but apologizing. And that 86 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 4: hasn't made a difference in the past months. I don't 87 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 4: think it would now. And there are some relevant comments. Brother, 88 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 4: you've put yourself in between the rock and the heart place. Yeah, 89 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 4: because you're either flippant enough to be like you're either 90 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 4: distrusting enough to be like, Yeah, I do think you 91 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 4: cheated on me. 92 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 2: I don't trust you wife who's pregnant with my child. 93 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 4: Or your brain is so full of rocks that you're 94 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 4: just like, yeah, I've watched a red pilled YouTuber and 95 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,159 Speaker 4: now I'll never trust a woman again. 96 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, both of those are very bad. Like you gotta look. 97 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 5: Inward for a good long while and think, why did 98 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 5: I even think this in the first place, Because if 99 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,359 Speaker 5: it's something like that, like maybe you just it was 100 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 5: just some sort of like intrusive thought and you just 101 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 5: couldn't get rid of it. That could be forgiven if she, 102 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 5: you know, if she decides to do that. 103 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: But you can't just be like, I don't know why. 104 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 5: I thought that, Like I've some sort of explanation needs 105 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 5: to be given. 106 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it needs to be truthful. You can't just 107 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:48,479 Speaker 3: like make something up. 108 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 4: And you came in way too hot, brother, Yeah, you 109 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,239 Speaker 4: came in soul. You came in with the burning fury 110 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 4: of a thousand suns. Yeah. Three months into pregnancy you 111 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 4: said you want the paternity to and she goes, are 112 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 4: you accusing me of cheating? And you could have very 113 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 4: easily said no, like, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing, 114 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 4: but I feel like I need this. 115 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 3: It said, you just go yes, yeah. 116 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 5: Because that's not like questioning like, oh, maybe she's cheating. 117 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 5: It's like, no, you are cheating. Yeah, you know, so 118 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 5: girl picks it. 119 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 2: Yeah. It should have been like a this is not 120 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 2: a you problem at all. This is all me. 121 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 4: I've gotten myself worked up to a point where now 122 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 4: I can't I'm like fixated on this idea that it 123 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 4: might not be my kid. I in no way think 124 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 4: that you've cheated on me. I think that this will 125 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 4: just prove that. Yeah, but I'm in a weird spot, 126 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 4: and maybe she understands that a little bit more than yeah, 127 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 4: you dirty cheater, you cheated on me. 128 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,479 Speaker 2: That's not my baby exactly. Anyway, let's get into the comments. 129 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 4: AKA Vince Black says a double utf no reason to 130 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 4: think she cheated, not one iota. Do you think aliens 131 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 4: impregnated her. I'd find it hard to overlook that too. 132 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 4: Op says, we were spetially active. So I did know 133 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 4: that there was a good likelihood I was the father. 134 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 4: I just couldn't shake that little voice that told me 135 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 4: I might not be. And there's the update, his little 136 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 4: voice head. 137 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 3: Why don't you go and wake up and ruin your 138 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 3: whole life. Yeah, why don't you wake up and ruin everything? 139 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 4: Dude? 140 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 2: Don't listen to your little voice when it tells you 141 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 2: to ruin your whole life. 142 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, or like that could have been even worded so differently, 143 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,280 Speaker 5: even if you had a little voice that you couldn't shake, 144 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 5: don't come right out and be like, yeah, I'm accusing 145 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:24,119 Speaker 5: you cheating. 146 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 6: Also, heads up chat, we have read this story a 147 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 6: while ago. This is a little bit updated, but there's 148 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 6: there's updates to this. 149 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 4: Ye so hard ages have ages for me, my sweet 150 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 4: baby boy bump bump bum me thirty five male, my 151 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 4: wife twenty nine female, okay, thirty five, twenty nine. So 152 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 4: he's like, I don't know, he was going through some 153 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 4: sort of mental crisis about like that. 154 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 2: I don't know, you. 155 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,679 Speaker 3: Know, insecurity something. 156 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it like like it looks like updates for this one. 157 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 2: And again calment from the you know reddit. 158 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,039 Speaker 3: Nice? Nice. 159 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: All right, well let's get into this update. 160 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,599 Speaker 4: I got to sit down with my wife during my 161 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 4: visit with my daughter while she was napping. She says 162 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 4: that this was the straw that broke the camel's back. 163 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 4: So it was ooh, there was more. Here's why she 164 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 4: went nuclear quote unquote, as a lot of people said, 165 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 4: and as much as this hurt, I needed to hear it. One, 166 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 4: I had trouble trusting her our whole relationship, despite the 167 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 4: fact she had never cheated on me or any excess. 168 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 2: Really, that's so hard to believe. 169 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not like you blatantly accused her of cheating 170 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 4: with no evidence. 171 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 2: Maybe you've never trusted her this whole time. 172 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 3: Possible. 173 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 4: She's caught me snooping through her phone, email, work laptop before, 174 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 4: and because she deals with privileged information, she says, I 175 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 4: open her up to liabilities with her clients, and no, 176 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 4: I have never found anything incriminating. Two, she has never 177 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 4: hidden anything except work related things because of confidentiality. Her 178 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 4: bank accounts, credit card information, phone records were always open 179 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 4: to me because she's caught me snooping before and she 180 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 4: wanted to assuage my feet. Three, I had recently installed 181 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 4: Tinder on my phone and she had caught me on 182 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 4: okay Cupid six months ago. Her best friend sent her 183 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 4: my profile, so she thinks that this is me projecting. Yeah, dude, Yeah, 184 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 4: I think it's you projecting. 185 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 3: That is what always happens in these stories. 186 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 5: Of course, She's gonna be upset with you for accusing 187 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 5: her out of nowhere, because that's what happens. Cheaters accused 188 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 5: other people cheating out of nowhere when they're. 189 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 3: Not brother you. 190 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 2: Oh, you were on tender bro. 191 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 4: You were on Tenderer three months before your wife got pregnant. 192 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 2: You we're on Tinderer and okay. 193 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,679 Speaker 3: Cupid, that's insane, insane. 194 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 2: You should have been on Okay, storytime. 195 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, no cheating there. 196 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 2: Other people go. 197 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 4: Listen to Weeezer Dude, hmm, real fans know what that means? Now? 198 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 2: Okay, wait, Angie, do you know what that means? Nope? Okay, 199 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 2: not a real fan. 200 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 4: In the sun on an island in the sun, out 201 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 4: of like the Weezer song, you don't listen to Weezer? Good? 202 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,079 Speaker 2: You wanna end up in the sun? Have you seen Aquamarine? 203 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 2: I Ever, we'll talk about this ever. 204 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 4: So number four, she got upset about the hypocriticalness of 205 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 4: all of it. While she had to be fully open 206 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 4: to me, but she says, I never showed her the 207 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,959 Speaker 4: same courtesy and always complained at her about my privacy. 208 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 2: I had my phone pass code. 209 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 4: I would get upset if she did the same, and 210 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 4: I'd get angry with her if she went into my 211 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 4: computer or email for any reason, even if it was 212 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 4: Bill related. She said what really made her not want 213 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 4: to work on it was some of the following, Well, buddy, M, 214 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 4: I hate this guy. 215 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 2: She felt no support for me at all before the test. 216 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 4: She would come over every other day and talk to me, 217 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 4: but I was cold to her and that she tried 218 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 4: to work on it in the beginning. She said my 219 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 4: aloofness made her not care I refused to help her 220 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,319 Speaker 4: cover the cope for the test. She said this was 221 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,680 Speaker 4: pettiness that made her feel this way, but she was 222 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 4: going to get an amniosyentesis test anyway because she's paranoid 223 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 4: about birth defects and her insurance didn't deem it medically necessary. 224 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 4: I went on a few days after she moved out, 225 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 4: and she found out. She considered it cheating because she 226 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 4: had been attempting to work on our marriage at that 227 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 4: point and had even made counseling appointments that I refused 228 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 4: to attend until she got the paternity test. I didn't 229 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 4: remember about this and didn't include it in my last post. 230 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 5: Brother, He's just admitting to cheating with no seeming like, 231 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 5: no remorse, no remorse. 232 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 3: It seems they were clearly together at that time. 233 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 4: I'm changing this. You're not listening to Weezer anymore. You're 234 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,199 Speaker 4: listening to Soundgarden. 235 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 3: I don't know that one either. I know either, especially. 236 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 2: Shout out to all the folks who know about that. 237 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 4: Wow, yeah, will you be doing this now because well, 238 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 4: Weezer Island in the Sun, Soundgarden black. 239 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 3: Hole sung Oh, okay, okay. 240 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 4: She said she's willing to work on the marriage, but 241 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 4: she said that it has to be as open both ways, 242 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 4: and she isn't willing to move back in with me 243 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 4: right away. I have to give her the passcode to 244 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,319 Speaker 4: my phone and delete Tinder. I do not want to 245 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 4: give her the passcod to my phone because I think 246 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 4: I deserve my privacy. 247 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 2: You don't deserve any privacy. You've been on Tinder. 248 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, you've abused your privacy, sir, taken advantage of it. 249 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 2: You don't deserve this situation from the sounds of it, No, 250 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 2: not at all. If anything, your. 251 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 4: Wife is just a sweety pie for not you know, 252 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 4: didn't even go after you for his support or alimony. Yeah, yeah, man, okay, 253 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 4: But other condition is personal therapy. As well as the 254 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 4: couple's counseling. I don't want to do this either, because, 255 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,839 Speaker 4: as many of you pointed out that there's nothing wrong 256 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 4: with wanting to be sure. That's not why you're going 257 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 4: to therapy. Unkim Boop, he's backing himself up. This is crazy. 258 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 4: This is one of the most like nonsensical. 259 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 2: I don't even know what to call it. 260 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 5: Like at first he was like, I feel so bad 261 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 5: for accusing her of cheating, and then he's like, well, actually, 262 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 5: as the people of the internet told me, even though 263 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 5: I cheated, that's actually totally reasonable for me to ask. 264 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, girl, huh. 265 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 4: Op falls asleep every night in a hyperbaric chamber that 266 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 4: gets pumped full of Delulu juice. Yeah, straight up not 267 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 4: living in reality. 268 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 3: That is accurate. 269 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 4: Relevant comments Meg Meg Gusta E. Lazul says, I'm shocked 270 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 4: you posted an update. Your original posts included nothing that 271 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:18,239 Speaker 4: would help us understand her decision. Frankly, you sound completely 272 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 4: out of touch with reality. 273 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 274 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 4: I can't imagine why she's willing to work on this marriage, 275 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 4: probably for her kid. 276 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: Let her go for her sake. 277 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 4: Op said, she hasn't told me she was keeping contact 278 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 4: minimal besides allowing me to see our daughter, but she 279 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 4: wasn't opening up to me about how she felt. A 280 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 4: deleted user says, Wow, I can't believe the crap you 281 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 4: did to her, and she is still willing to work 282 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 4: on things. You, sir, need counseling. A swift kick to 283 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 4: the butt. Opie says, she said she's willing to because 284 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 4: of our daughter, but if it was her alone, she wouldn't. 285 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 2: Exactly. This is only because she must be for her daughter. 286 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. 287 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 2: As someone who has a daughta. She agreed. 288 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 4: Deleted user replies, you left out the stuff about being 289 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 4: protective of your mobile devices, having a Tinder profile, and 290 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 4: having gone on dates yesterday. 291 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 2: You deserve your privacy. You're either a piece of work 292 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 2: or a troll. For God's sake, get help and put 293 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 2: all this energy into being a good dad. Don't be 294 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 2: so effing self involved in selfish Oh, he says, I 295 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 2: didn't go on any dates until after she left. 296 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 5: She didn't leave the relationship. Boy, she left the house 297 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 5: because you sucked. You don't deserve this woman. I guess you. 298 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 7: You know. 299 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 4: Whether or not you could be a good dad remains 300 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 4: to be seen. But this woman you know should just 301 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 4: co parent, because honestly, I doubt your presence in your 302 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 4: daughter's life would be very positive because you sound entirely 303 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 4: self centered. 304 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, completely. 305 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 4: Incapable of even taking a step outside of your own bubble. 306 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, he was so close to figuring out remorse, and 307 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 5: then he just totally like backstepped all the way. 308 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 2: Almost he was right there. 309 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 4: And then he's like, yeah, but she'll come back anyway 310 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 4: because the kid. 311 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 5: So yeah, it's like, I'm good, but it actually I 312 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 5: should have cheated more. 313 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 3: Actually that's probably what it is. 314 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 2: Crazy. 315 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 4: Well, Raccoon Grinn says, you don't go on dates when 316 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 4: you want to stay in a marriage. Update number two, 317 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 4: Oh boy, we're getting in the new sauce territory. 318 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 2: Let's go. 319 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 3: Oh god, let's go. 320 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 2: Let's go. 321 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 4: I realize now I'm not exactly someone you want to 322 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 4: sympathize with, and I'm sorry. I do love Marissa and 323 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 4: want to be a better husband and father, but I 324 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 4: will not get that chance. In therapy, our therapist had 325 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 4: us lay everything out on the table, and I admitted 326 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 4: that I was an unfair hypocrite. She admitted that she's 327 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 4: happier without me, despite being a single mother for all 328 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 4: intents and purposes. Right. 329 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 2: We attempted to talk it through with her, laying out 330 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 2: her terms to re enter the marriage. 331 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 4: I still feel I did not cheat on her because 332 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 4: she left me with no discussion of terms. She feels 333 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 4: I cheated because we were still married and actively discussing her, 334 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 4: eventually rebuilding her trust in me and moving back home. 335 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 4: We agreed to try another therapy session, but Tuesday morning 336 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 4: she canceled it and she filed for good for you good. 337 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 5: I'm sorry I didn't cheat because when you left, like 338 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 5: you didn't say that, Like I still couldn't date other people, 339 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 5: like if you didn't say that, So how would I know? 340 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 2: How would I know? It was just? 341 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 3: I mean you like our marriage vows. No, I didn't clarify. 342 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 5: You gotta remind me every single day actually that I 343 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 5: can't cheat on you. 344 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 4: You were just you were just with the not op 345 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 4: is the personification of just a boulder, just a rock, 346 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 4: just ad No. 347 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 2: I don't know. 348 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 4: It's still not cheating though, right because she walked away 349 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 4: from me. She she physically left my presence, so I 350 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 4: was allowed to do whatever I want while we were 351 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,359 Speaker 4: fixing our marriage. 352 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 2: Why yatta? 353 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 4: She just wanted to rebuild her trust in me, so 354 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 4: I went and slept with other people. 355 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, what's wrong with that. That's not cheating, that's just me. 356 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 2: I'm giving her space. 357 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. 358 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 2: Uh so she canceled it and filed for divorce. 359 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 3: Probably. 360 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 7: Yes. 361 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 4: We had dinner that night and she told me she 362 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 4: was sorry, but she didn't think it would work because 363 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 4: her trust at this point was irrevocably broken. I told 364 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 4: her it was okay. He sat down and talked about 365 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 4: visitation until she leaves in January, when she will be 366 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 4: moving to her home state with an opportunity that grants 367 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 4: her more money and better benefits, including on site daycare. 368 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 4: And by the way, we have an on site daycare 369 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 4: where you can listen to full episodes of stories just 370 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 4: like this. It's on Spotify, it's on iHeartRadio, it's on 371 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 4: Apple Podcasts, it's wherever you listen to podcasts. All you 372 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 4: have to do is search the name of our show. Okay, Storytime, 373 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 4: You've got the whole archive. Oh yeah, you did, Tipsy 374 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 4: had little fingies. Oh yeah, you do. Fingle No, no, no, 375 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 4: fit there, don't sue SKFC. I didn't mean to say that. Please, 376 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 4: there is a little bit more story left, Like, do 377 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 4: we have any closing thoughts here? 378 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 2: Clearly we're all glad that this guy is. I mean, 379 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 2: he seems just like he doesn't care at all. 380 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 3: He just doesn't. 381 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, he doesn't care about other people. He only wants 382 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 5: to worry about his own reputation that he messed up. 383 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 5: And he's trying so hard instead of just being sorry 384 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 5: and making it up to her, he's trying so hard 385 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,640 Speaker 5: just excuse himself of his mistakes by claiming that there 386 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 5: were none. 387 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 7: It's like he's just just just enough to be like, 388 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,120 Speaker 7: I did do something, but I'm not admitting I did 389 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 7: the thing very clearly did, which was go on dates 390 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 7: while we were repairing our marriage. 391 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's antithetical to that, right right? Yeah, So this. 392 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 4: Is like a man baby my goodness, not ready to 393 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,719 Speaker 4: take accountability or responsibility for anything. It seems, no, not 394 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,159 Speaker 4: at all. I don't know who he started listening to. 395 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, I would bet that he wouldn't be a good 396 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 5: father because then he would teaches his kids that this 397 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 5: is okay and that this is fine. 398 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, well you get a daughter, imagine anyway, gug So 399 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 4: she told me she harbors no hard feelings towards me, 400 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 4: but she wishes it hadn't ended this way. I told 401 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,400 Speaker 4: her he didn't have to, which is the dumbest thing 402 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 4: I think you've said this whole time, Pie, but she 403 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 4: disagreed and said it did. I told her I'd give 404 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 4: her access to my phone and such, but the fact 405 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 4: that I did that to her left a sour taste 406 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 4: in her mouth about it, and she doesn't want a 407 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 4: relationship where it's considered normal to not share or rifle 408 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 4: through the other person's things for no reason, as she 409 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 4: puts it. Yeah, we agreed on child support and we 410 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 4: will get it in writing. I make a comparable amount 411 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 4: to what she will be making, so we agreed to 412 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 4: split the baby's expenses. Baby will be on her insurance. 413 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 4: I gave her a check for the amount in the alimony. 414 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 4: Anything else we can think of. I know there's no 415 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 4: chance of getting my wife back now, but how can 416 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 4: I be a good dad to baby long distance? He 417 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,679 Speaker 4: talked about me eventually moving to be in proximity. She 418 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 4: made sure to emphasize for the baby, not for us 419 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 4: to get back together. But I'm locked into a contract 420 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 4: until next December at least. 421 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,360 Speaker 2: That is the end of that story. Buddy, I don't. 422 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 4: Know you, I don't fully know you, but based on 423 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 4: your whole energy here, I think maybe the best thing 424 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 4: you can do is just, like, you know, send the money, yeah, Facetimer, 425 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 4: because it really doesn't even sound like you want to 426 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 4: be there. You're like, you're still like, well, she and 427 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 4: she said it was, you know, moving there to be closer. 428 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 2: To our child, not so we can get back together. 429 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, are you not? 430 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 4: Are you not immediately like, wait, she's gonna move a 431 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 4: way across the country to a different state with our kid. 432 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:16,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. 433 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,439 Speaker 4: Wait, that's gonna make things way harder for me. Oh, 434 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 4: I'm locked into a least contract until December. Hey, dummy, 435 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 4: you you could break those especially you literally are like 436 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 4: I'm making a comparable amount of money to my ex wife, Yeah, 437 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 4: who makes more than enough money to provide for herself 438 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 4: and our daughter. Yeah, so you clearly have the money 439 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 4: to break your lease, but you don't even you care 440 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 4: enough to be close to your daughter to do that. 441 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 442 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 5: Like, I think the best thing that you could do 443 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 5: is send money, maybe visit on like weekends to like 444 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 5: take care of the daughter or something like that. Take 445 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 5: out a little daddy daughter like trip or something I 446 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,160 Speaker 5: don't know, and then that's it. 447 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 3: Just leave it there. 448 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,919 Speaker 4: I think the best thing you could really do is 449 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 4: go to a go to therapy, really open your mom 450 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 4: to the possibility that there are things you could seriously 451 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 4: change to better yourself. Yeah, and the people around you 452 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 4: get to a point. 453 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 5: Where you could admit that that is cheating, right, you 454 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 5: need you mess up. 455 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 4: If you can actually get real positive change in your life, 456 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 4: that's the best thing you could do for your daughter. 457 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 4: Right now, you're not. But anyways, that's the end of 458 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 4: that freaking story exactly. We're gonna roll right on into 459 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 4: the next one. 460 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 3: To the next one. 461 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 2: Are you ready for this one? By the way, this 462 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 2: is like a four K and a half. 463 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do it. Let's freaking do it. 464 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 5: I think my wife is cheating on me, but I 465 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 5: don't have enough proofs. 466 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 2: You shouldn't think your wife's cheating on you. 467 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,400 Speaker 5: My wife and I have met when we were both 468 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,399 Speaker 5: in college, but we were both working part time and 469 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,880 Speaker 5: going to school full time, and met while we were 470 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 5: on lunch break from our jobs. I thought that she 471 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,679 Speaker 5: was very, very pretty, so I went to eat there again, 472 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 5: hoping to see her again. She came up to me 473 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,479 Speaker 5: and started talking to me the next time we were 474 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 5: both there, and I was sure that she was interested, 475 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 5: so I asked her out. We quickly started dating, and 476 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 5: after a couple of years we got married. When we met, 477 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 5: I was just finishing school and the company I was 478 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 5: working for part time offered me a full time management position. 479 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,359 Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from a throwaway a worried 480 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 5: dummy and if you want to submit your own stories, 481 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 5: go to the ur slush Okay storytime. 482 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 3: It sepredd it. 483 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 5: So my now wife was still in school and I 484 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 5: was paying for her college one hundred percent. 485 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 3: Dang. 486 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,679 Speaker 5: I actually started paying for her college shortly after we 487 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 5: became a couple, because she came from a very large 488 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 5: family and they couldn't afford to help her, and working 489 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 5: part time, she didn't have a lot either, and I 490 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,400 Speaker 5: was then working full time, so I paid for her schooling. 491 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 5: And this is important later Take notes, everybody. She is 492 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,160 Speaker 5: very smart, brilliant, graduated with honors, and after a couple 493 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,159 Speaker 5: of not so great jobs, got a real good professional 494 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 5: job that she stayed at for many years, making good 495 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 5: money with very good benefits. During our dating years and 496 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 5: our early marriage, we had a great spicy sleep life. 497 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 5: We didn't have spicy sleep every single day, but when 498 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 5: we did it, it was a wild and sometimes a 499 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 5: very spicy. I was fairly popular in high school, captain 500 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 5: of the football team and college. 501 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 3: I was in good. 502 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 5: Shape, ran half marathons, et cetera. I guess I did 503 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 5: okay with the ladies and had a number of partners 504 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 5: and one long term girlfriend at the time. Or that 505 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 5: got a little spicy. Why why is this guy trying 506 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,160 Speaker 5: a humble brag? Right? 507 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:17,719 Speaker 3: Actually? 508 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, in my school, I guess I was cool. I 509 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: was captain of the football team. 510 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 5: It's like really cool high school, and that we're past 511 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 5: college and I'm married. 512 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 2: You had to it. 513 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 4: This is something I've been pretty freaking cool in high 514 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,359 Speaker 4: school to warrant, still flexing about it. 515 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. 516 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 5: I don't know who was captain of our football team. 517 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,879 Speaker 5: Our football team, clearly, yes, clearly, they weren't that cool. 518 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 4: Our water polo team went crazy, though, Yeah, stay champed. 519 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 2: Like every year. 520 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 3: Nice anyway. 521 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 5: My wife, however, was much much more experienced than I am. 522 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 5: She was younger than me, but had many more partners 523 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,399 Speaker 5: and had done much more than I had in spicy sleep. 524 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 5: She liked to party and go a little wild when 525 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 5: she partied, so she had a bit of a well 526 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 5: earned reputation. 527 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 3: I found out about all of this from a mutual 528 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 3: friend right from the start, and I was good with it. 529 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 3: If anything, it made me like her all the more. 530 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 5: Early in our relationship, she would always tell me how 531 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,399 Speaker 5: good I was and how I was the first person 532 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 5: that cared about her needs and. 533 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 4: Got her Yeah, like a like you know, a switch. 534 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 4: They're electricians. I'm starting this as a recurring bit now, Okay, 535 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 4: whenever people start talking about they get a little spicy, 536 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,879 Speaker 4: like a little whoop talking about turning things on and 537 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 4: off as electrician talk right there. 538 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, that always made me feel good, and to this 539 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 5: day I always make sure that she is satisfied before me. 540 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 5: Fairly average in all ways, so I always felt the 541 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 5: need to put in maximum effort to make sure that 542 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,439 Speaker 5: my partner wanted me and wouldn't stray thinking that they 543 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 5: could get better spicy sleep from someone else. 544 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,439 Speaker 2: Fuirly average in all ways, except for being the captainal 545 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 2: football team and having been pretty built in college and 546 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 2: you know all the ladies I used to be with. 547 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 5: Except for that, except for that, sure, I'm a little 548 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 5: insecure there. After a few years of marriage, decided to 549 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 5: pursue a dream of starting my own sports team, and 550 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,959 Speaker 5: it was a real struggle to get things off the ground. 551 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 5: My wife helped me every single step of the way, 552 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 5: and to make things even more interesting, we bought a 553 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 5: big house. 554 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,000 Speaker 3: At the same time. 555 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 5: We were both working on our regular jobs and now 556 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 5: working to get this new business going. I probably didn't 557 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 5: get more than four hours of sleep a night for 558 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 5: the next twenty years. Dang, and that's not an exaggeration. 559 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 5: Money was pretty tight at this time because of all 560 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 5: the time that I was spending with my new team. 561 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 5: I changed jobs a few times and was putting a 562 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 5: lot of my own money into the team. 563 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 3: To build it up. 564 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 5: My wife was bringing home more money than me, and 565 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 5: there were a few arguments about money and how much 566 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 5: I was spending, but all in all we were rock solid. 567 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,160 Speaker 3: She was my best friend, wife, and lover. 568 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 5: The team travels to events every weekend during the season, 569 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,360 Speaker 5: and probably ninety percent of the time, my wife traveled 570 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 5: with me and was. 571 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,920 Speaker 3: By my side all the time. 572 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 5: Before we had kids, some events weren't far from home, 573 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 5: so I would be home late that night. Even if 574 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 5: she didn't go, this meant that I missed a lot 575 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 5: of family and friend occasions. She went to many family 576 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,640 Speaker 5: and friends' weddings and things so low. She even took 577 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 5: a few trips with her single friends to the beach 578 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 5: for a week to hang out and relax. 579 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 3: She loves the beach. 580 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 5: Shortly after our fifth winning anniversary, I was looking for 581 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 5: some team pictures. My wife told me to look into 582 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 5: drawers in a spare room. I've found pictures of her 583 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,640 Speaker 5: bachelorette party. I have a feeling this is where things 584 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 5: are going to start to go south. 585 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 3: Uh oh, what is. 586 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 4: This freaking timeline? Five years after their marriage? But you'd 587 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 4: been working for twenty years and only sleeping four hours 588 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,400 Speaker 4: a day, made you have kids. Yeah, time, it makes 589 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 4: no sense right now. 590 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,439 Speaker 5: Maybe the twenty years was just like it was just 591 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,440 Speaker 5: like not important to this actual story. That's just like 592 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 5: a side note of how much he works. 593 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:37,440 Speaker 4: Right. 594 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 5: We had talked about it after and she had told 595 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,679 Speaker 5: me about all the drinking and dancing and flirting with 596 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 5: some guys, and it was pretty innocent and tame. My 597 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,400 Speaker 5: bachelor party was pretty wild and some of the wildest 598 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 5: things were done by her brothers. So I was a 599 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 5: fairly good boy and wasn't worried about hers at all. Well, 600 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 5: the pictures that painted a little bit of a different picture. 601 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 5: Her maid of honor brought her a spicy dancer and 602 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 5: was nice enough to take pictures so she'd remember the night. 603 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 3: I guess there was a lot of. 604 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,439 Speaker 5: Booze, and the pictures showed the spicy dancer doing his 605 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 5: thing and my wife grinding on him. 606 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 3: Having a good time. 607 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 5: Oh boy, The last photo showed him completely unclothed standing 608 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 5: in front of her. She still had her clothes. 609 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 3: On, but with her hand wrapped around is junk. 610 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 2: Ooh, that's not part of the process. 611 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 3: Ros I was just like, what the F. 612 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,680 Speaker 5: I took the photos and immediately showed them to her 613 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 5: and asked what the f. She said that she didn't 614 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 5: tell me about the spicy's dancer because she didn't want 615 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 5: me to get jealous. And then all her friends were 616 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 5: egging her on to touch him, and she was quite wasted, 617 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:37,400 Speaker 5: so she did. 618 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 4: But that doesn't explain why you've kept them in the drawer. 619 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 2: What do you go? Look at them? 620 00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:43,439 Speaker 7: Like? 621 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 4: Ah, the last time I was really happy, Like, well, 622 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 4: that's kind of weird. 623 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 3: So weird. 624 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I would want to forget about that if 625 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 5: I really felt bad about it, like what she swore. 626 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 3: Up and down that that was all that happened, And. 627 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 5: Since I had done about the same at my party 628 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 5: the same night, I didn't think that I could be 629 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,119 Speaker 5: two piss. I was really only mad that she didn't 630 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 5: tell me about it. She knew exactly what happened at mine, 631 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 5: and all her brothers told her. This did let me 632 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 5: know that she could do something and leave out details 633 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,159 Speaker 5: when she told me and not feel that she was 634 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 5: lying at all. It always left and nagging a little 635 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 5: doubt in my head about those beach trips and if 636 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 5: she was completely honest about them. 637 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 2: Uh oh okay. 638 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 4: So that's why I was mentioning the timeline as he 639 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 4: talked about wording for twenty years and he's like five 640 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 4: years into our marriage, so I'm like, how is this 641 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,160 Speaker 4: about to be the cheating part? 642 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 2: But it wasn't. 643 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,320 Speaker 4: That was just the seed that planted. That was the 644 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,440 Speaker 4: moment where this seed of doubt was planted. 645 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly. Fast forward a few years and things were 646 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,200 Speaker 5: greatly improving. We waited to have kids because we wanted 647 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 5: to be able to provide for them properly. My sports 648 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 5: team had really started to take off and was starting 649 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 5: to make us money instead. 650 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 3: Of costing us money. 651 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 2: Sports team. 652 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what he was doing this whole time. That's 653 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 3: his business, he said team. 654 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 2: I thought he meant like a sales team. 655 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 3: No, no, he said sports team. 656 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,200 Speaker 2: Oh god, oh wow. 657 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 3: I know. 658 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 5: Maybe being the captain to the football. 659 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,440 Speaker 3: Team is paying off. 660 00:27:58,640 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, what does he? 661 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 3: I know. I'm like, which, how does. 662 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,119 Speaker 4: That just kart playing in that weird baseball league? Geon, 663 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,360 Speaker 4: what is that? What is that called? Oh, the We're 664 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,919 Speaker 4: the Bananas, the Banana Bananas. But yeah, but that's that 665 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 4: can't be his lead, right, No, No, No, he's probably 666 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,639 Speaker 4: talking about like some weird adult league. Are he's playing 667 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,400 Speaker 4: like a rec football league. 668 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,199 Speaker 3: As possible, But they're making money. 669 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,720 Speaker 5: So we both had good jobs and we decided that 670 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 5: it was time to have kids. We had two children 671 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 5: four years apart, and everything was going. A great sports 672 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 5: team was really taking off, winning championships, awards, et cetera. 673 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 5: I started to become a little bit of a local celebrity. 674 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 5: Everyone knew who I was. 675 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,119 Speaker 3: I was doing TV interviews. 676 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 5: Radio, et cetera. Just local and regional stuff. Nothing big time, 677 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 5: but things were going great. In fact, between my two 678 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 5: children's births, my wife and I were having the most 679 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 5: spiciest lead that we ever had in our relationship. Wild 680 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 5: crazy times, so we both seemed to enjoy very much. 681 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 5: There was even some Internet stuff, and she was the star. 682 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 5: Remember she is a very, very pretty and a bit 683 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 5: spicy too. Okay, Yes, ended a few years ago at 684 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,960 Speaker 5: her request. These are probably the best days of my life. 685 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 5: It is also very important to note that even though 686 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 5: we were having some wild times, it was. 687 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 3: Just the two of us. 688 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 5: We had talked about ever fooling around, and both of 689 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 5: us completely agreed that it was a one hundred percent 690 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 5: deal breaker. 691 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 2: She told me if I ever cheated. 692 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 3: We were done. End of story. 693 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 5: We were still very close, but I have found out 694 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 5: very recently that after our second child was born that 695 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,959 Speaker 5: this is when she started resenting the sports team. She 696 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 5: has now told me that it bothered her that I 697 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 5: was getting all the attention, awards, et cetera, after she 698 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 5: had done so much work and sacrificed so much to 699 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 5: get things going. I really didn't see it at the time. 700 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 2: Hang in there. 701 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 3: The part where I need your help is coming soon. 702 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 5: Now we have children and she can't or doesn't want 703 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 5: to bring them to all our events, so she starts 704 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 5: traveling with the team less and less. I swear that 705 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 5: I always ask her to go, as I really want 706 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 5: her there with me. Fast forward a few more years 707 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,719 Speaker 5: and my wife's father passes away. They were very close 708 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 5: and she and he was very protective of his baby girl. 709 00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 3: Side note, he. 710 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 5: Didn't like me at all at first, but warmed up 711 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,239 Speaker 5: to me, and I really liked him and respected him 712 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 5: a lot. After a short period of time, my wife 713 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 5: announces that she is quitting her job and going back 714 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 5: to school to change careers and follow in her father's footsteps. 715 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 2: Okay, she's having her MJ moment. 716 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm a little worried because that means I have 717 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 5: to pay for her to go to college again, take 718 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 5: care of two young kids, work my regular job, and 719 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 5: run my team too. 720 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 3: As she will be returning to school full time. 721 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 5: I really wanted to support her though, because of how 722 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 5: much I knew it meant to her and all of 723 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 5: the support that. 724 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 3: She had given me starting my team. 725 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 5: She went summer's nights, et cetera to get done as 726 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 5: fast as she could, and I made it work as 727 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 5: best as I could the kids and I look back 728 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 5: at these times and really think it was fun. Me 729 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 5: picking them up from daycare, cooking me microwaving the kid's cuisine, 730 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 5: and them tagging along too nights with the team. Things 731 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 5: seem to be going great. Fast forward to a few 732 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 5: years ago, and we're doing so well that I say 733 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 5: I want to take her away for a week to 734 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 5: her favorite beach for a week, just the two of 735 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 5: us as a second honeymoon. We didn't have a lot 736 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 5: of money for our first one, so it wasn't so great, 737 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 5: and I wanted to make up to her. It went great. 738 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,000 Speaker 5: She loved the beach, and we made love more than 739 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 5: we did on our first honeymoon. And that's when things 740 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 5: seems to start going bad. 741 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: Okay, he say, I'm your ogi host here, bring it 742 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from 743 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: our sponsored. 744 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,560 Speaker 5: After that trip, even though the kids were older, she 745 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 5: didn't want to travel with the team anymore. She started 746 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 5: wanting to take a trip every summer to the beach 747 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 5: right in the middle of my season. 748 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 3: When she knew I couldn't go, she. 749 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 5: Said that I could come if I want, but she's 750 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 5: going either way. She said that she was tired of 751 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 5: missing out, and since we were doing so well, we 752 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 5: could afford it, and she was going. She would take 753 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 5: the kids and usually invite some of her family along. 754 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 5: But it still makes me feel bad. She didn't get 755 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 5: to go this year, but has already told me that 756 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 5: she's going next year without me. Again, I don't think 757 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 5: that she's meeting anyone on these trips, but I still 758 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 5: don't think it's a good thing. 759 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 4: So let me just pause real quick, because I actually 760 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,719 Speaker 4: have direct insight into this in my own family. Oh really, 761 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 4: because my I mean, my dad didn't create his own 762 00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:58,880 Speaker 4: sports league or whatever. 763 00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,440 Speaker 2: The heck's going on here. 764 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's like my dad played like men's league baseball. 765 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,240 Speaker 4: Oh well, you used to play softball real casually, and 766 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 4: then when he started playing men's league ball like you play, 767 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 4: it was real competitive. They were competing well, and my 768 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 4: mom just like did not care. She's just like, why 769 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 4: do I want to You're not my kid. I'm not 770 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 4: going to go watch you play baseball for the eight 771 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 4: hundredth time I've watched you play baseball. Yeah, now I 772 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 4: want to. I want to do more fun things that 773 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 4: are more fun than that to spend time differently, right, 774 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 4: because it's not as fun to me maybe, Op, it's 775 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 4: not as fun for your wife maybe to just follow 776 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 4: you around while you play sports. Yeah, because you've been 777 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 4: doing it for a long time at this point. 778 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:38,480 Speaker 3: True. 779 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 2: And she's just like, I want to get the beach, dude. 780 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. 781 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 5: And I wonder like what she's able to do on 782 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 5: these trips because it's not just like a game that 783 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:45,720 Speaker 5: she's going to. 784 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 4: She's going on full trips to people, and she's bringing 785 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 4: her your your kids, and her parents. Do you really 786 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 4: think she's cheating on you exactly on a family trip. 787 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking. 788 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 4: After she built an entire life and business with you, 789 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 4: I would get it if you were. 790 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know. 791 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 4: She's like icing me out and like she's been acting differently, 792 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 4: and she's like I have somewhat some kind of proof, right, 793 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 4: you got an Offen? 794 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I don't think so, man, I 795 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 3: don't know. 796 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,320 Speaker 6: Also, Op just is giving me the true jock guy 797 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 6: where he's like all bron no brain, and he's like 798 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 6: he just likes to talk about from what we've got 799 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,200 Speaker 6: from the story, he just likes to talk about himself 800 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 6: and like he's like, yeah, we have some crazy spicy sleeve. 801 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, that also seems to be like a huge value 802 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 3: of hits in the relationship. 803 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,400 Speaker 5: But I get it being important, but like at the 804 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 5: same time, it's like, I don't know, it seems like 805 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 5: it's like possibly more important than some other things to him. 806 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 2: And I'm not saying all jocks are like small brain, 807 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 2: but like he's like like muscle muscle out of sports 808 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 2: and like hustle, testosterone, workout, pump iron. 809 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know that kind of thing. 810 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, oh dude, you know what great comment here by Hey, listen, 811 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 4: you flip it around. 812 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 2: What is Op doing on team trips without her? 813 00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 3: It's like it's the same thing. 814 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,719 Speaker 4: Kim fine, and also says she might be bringing her 815 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 4: parents so they can watch the kids and she can 816 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 4: go sneak off do whatever. 817 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 3: True, Like your parents could like know what's going on. 818 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,400 Speaker 4: You know how how many scenarios we can cook up 819 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,879 Speaker 4: in hear that are completely wrong but feel completely right. 820 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, like you gott. 821 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,279 Speaker 6: To gather more information if you're suspicious, and to go 822 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 6: off to Kodi's thing. My godfather was a major league 823 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 6: pitching coach and like when we want to go visit 824 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 6: him and they had home games. We would go to 825 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 6: maybe one or two games, but his family like we 826 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,320 Speaker 6: would come to and like we get even like really 827 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,560 Speaker 6: good seats and go inside the clubhouse. After like you've 828 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 6: done that two or three times, you're like, we're gonna 829 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 6: go hang out and go do something to some other 830 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,399 Speaker 6: stuff like we don't have Like it's great to see 831 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 6: you and I know you love our like you love 832 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 6: and see our support. 833 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 3: Come on, go to every single one, go to everyone. Yeah, yeah, 834 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 3: why doesn't she want to look at me? Catch the ball? 835 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,800 Speaker 5: As the last few years have played out, she seems 836 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,240 Speaker 5: to resent my team more and more. She comes around 837 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 5: the team so little that even friends ask, what's up. 838 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 3: If you've stayed with me for this long? And the 839 00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 3: novel is coming to an end. 840 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 5: About two years ago, she starts talking about a new 841 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:02,920 Speaker 5: coworker a lot. 842 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can see where this is going. 843 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,920 Speaker 5: She tells me how smart he is and all the 844 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,360 Speaker 5: new ideas he has, and how they have become friends 845 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,200 Speaker 5: very quickly, which is unusual as she hasn't made friends 846 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,839 Speaker 5: with her coworkers that much. I'm really getting bad vibes 847 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 5: from this right from the start. Then her company is 848 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,680 Speaker 5: having a big company outing taking a bus trip to 849 00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 5: a big city for a fancy dinner and show, and 850 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,440 Speaker 5: spouses are invited. 851 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 3: I go partially just so I can meet this guy. 852 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 5: He's bigger than me, around six to two, and he's 853 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 5: pretty fat and out of shape. But it's obvious to 854 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,400 Speaker 5: me the way he looks at my wife that he 855 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 5: likes her. I ask her about him when we're alone, 856 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 5: and she says that they're just friends and for me 857 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 5: not to worry, just look at him, she says. I 858 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 5: can never be attracted to someone like that. That I 859 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:45,319 Speaker 5: think is. 860 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,400 Speaker 3: The worst way to reassure someone. 861 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,920 Speaker 5: I feel like so many people jump to that like 862 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,719 Speaker 5: as like no, no, babe, Like oh, this person is 863 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 5: so ugly and their their body looks. 864 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,239 Speaker 3: Terrible and like all this stuff, How could I ever 865 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:00,160 Speaker 3: want them? 866 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 5: It's like, well, that's me because bodies changed. What if 867 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,239 Speaker 5: my body eventually looks like that? Are you gonna hate me? 868 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:07,839 Speaker 2: Like what? 869 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,800 Speaker 3: It's so not as helpful as people think it is. 870 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 4: What's a shame to me is that buddy is right there, 871 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,200 Speaker 4: he's almost he's at the door, and he's still not 872 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 4: looking at the right way. 873 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, and I got bad vibes from that. 874 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,040 Speaker 4: It's like, well, you should have done as you should 875 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,840 Speaker 4: have been Like, and I woke up and I realized 876 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 4: I'm not the only man on earth that exists. And 877 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 4: if I stay exactly the same and never change, while 878 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,640 Speaker 4: my wife continues to grow and develop as a person 879 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,319 Speaker 4: does until the day they stop breathing, Yeah. 880 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 3: I don't know. 881 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like you've just been stuck in the 882 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,359 Speaker 4: exact same place you guys are at when you guys 883 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 4: started twenty years ago, and you have not really fundamentally 884 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 4: changed the way you operate. She was probably hoping, like, yeah, 885 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 4: we build the team, then you become like the GM 886 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 4: or the CEO, and then you don't have to go 887 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 4: every game. 888 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we can have a life together it We're good. 889 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 5: You know, you don't have to only sleep four hours 890 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,399 Speaker 5: for for this to work well. On the bus ride home, 891 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,400 Speaker 5: she asks me not to sit next to her so 892 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,760 Speaker 5: she can stretch out and fall asleep as it's close. 893 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 2: To one A. 894 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, that seems reasonable. 895 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 5: Honestly, it pissed me off because I figured that she'd 896 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,719 Speaker 5: have a coworker sitting with her in noe time. She 897 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 5: doesn't for most of the trip, about four hours, but 898 00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 5: for the last half hour he comes up and sits next. 899 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,799 Speaker 3: To her and they talk the rest of the way home. 900 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,719 Speaker 5: Of course, I ask what they were talking about, and 901 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,320 Speaker 5: she says it's a work project coming. 902 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,360 Speaker 3: Up and that they will be working on together. 903 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,479 Speaker 5: Of course, my spidy senses are going crazy, but I've 904 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 5: gotten no proof anything is going on. Things actually seem 905 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 5: to cool off for a little while, as I think 906 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 5: they both have other big projects that keep them apart. 907 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 5: But I'm not sure at all about it. One thing 908 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,880 Speaker 5: is for sure. She stops sleeping with me. She says 909 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:44,000 Speaker 5: that it's my snoring, and I do snore. I offer 910 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,840 Speaker 5: to sleep in another room so she doesn't have to 911 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,720 Speaker 5: sleep on the couch. So now we're sleeping in separate rooms. 912 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 5: Let's call that red flag number three. But I'm not 913 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 5: really counting. Sounds like you are. 914 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,759 Speaker 4: Literally counting, though, and that is a red flag. But 915 00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 4: like it can be because of your snoring. Like I 916 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,160 Speaker 4: I know again, people who can't sleep next to each 917 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 4: other because one of them is just constantly waking the 918 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 4: other up. Yeah, and it's like, so you got to 919 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 4: address that. I guess gotta Yeah, that can change over 920 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,440 Speaker 4: twenty years too. You may maybe you didn't used to 921 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:19,160 Speaker 4: snore to the you know, to the decibel volume of 922 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 4: a fighter jet, but now you do soact but it 923 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:23,320 Speaker 4: gets worse. 924 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:28,320 Speaker 5: The spicy sleep stops shortly thereafter two giant red flag. 925 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,120 Speaker 5: He says she always wanted spicy sleep, but now says 926 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,719 Speaker 5: that medical things are bothering her, the kids might hear, 927 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,600 Speaker 5: or a thousand and one other excuses why she doesn't 928 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:38,280 Speaker 5: want to anymore. 929 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,240 Speaker 3: I've tried to talk to her about this a number 930 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 3: of times and it never goes well. 931 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,000 Speaker 5: I try and keep my cool, but I have asked 932 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,680 Speaker 5: if there is something else, because I figure if she 933 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,040 Speaker 5: isn't getting it from me, she's getting it from someone else. 934 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 5: Looking back, I wish I didn't say that then then 935 00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 5: maybe she would have let her guard down. 936 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 4: But if brother, if that's the way you think, then 937 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 4: now are you going to start getting it from someone else? 938 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,040 Speaker 4: Because she's not sleeping with So what are you talking about? 939 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 3: Exactly? 940 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:05,279 Speaker 4: Like? Where's your This guy like is oblivious to the 941 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 4: fact that his wife might just not be attracted to 942 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 4: him right now because of the way he's acting. True, 943 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 4: because of the way he conducts himself. His wife is like, man, 944 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 4: I'm just like not at all into my husband right now. 945 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:18,640 Speaker 4: And if you talk to people who've been married for 946 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,279 Speaker 4: like ever, that does happen, it's like there will be 947 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,359 Speaker 4: time and it's like, you know what you do about that, 948 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,439 Speaker 4: you have a conversation about it. Yeah, but it sounds 949 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 4: like his conversation is, so, who are you cheating on 950 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 4: me with? And she's going, this complete idiot, can't even 951 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,080 Speaker 4: see that he could do anything wrong. 952 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,200 Speaker 5: He's the golden man. Yeah, and too like it's I 953 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 5: don't know how old they are? Do we have can 954 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,120 Speaker 5: you try to find ages if we have it? But 955 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 5: I've also heard you know, like when you get older 956 00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:44,719 Speaker 5: you lose hormones, and so you might just not be 957 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,920 Speaker 5: that interested and spicely but all either yeah, as much. 958 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,280 Speaker 2: You know, what are her medical issues? 959 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,799 Speaker 4: Are you just like completely discounting that, yeah, because that 960 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,879 Speaker 4: sounds like a balad? How old are your kids now? 961 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 4: Are your kids old enough to be like are mom 962 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,319 Speaker 4: and dad fighting? Right? 963 00:39:58,480 --> 00:39:58,719 Speaker 3: Yeah? 964 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 2: Run in there on like op is fifty and Ope's 965 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 2: wife forty eight? 966 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,359 Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, see I feel like that's a reasonable age 967 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 5: to like lose your hormones. 968 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,879 Speaker 4: Your wife has been waiting for you to change your 969 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,960 Speaker 4: business model for twenty years and you have not. 970 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 2: You are This is exactly what. 971 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,719 Speaker 4: Yeah, my dad playing baseball because it's games, it's practice, 972 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:21,720 Speaker 4: it's team meetings. 973 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so much. It's all encompassing, right right. 974 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,800 Speaker 5: Anyway, about a month or so ago, one night, about 975 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 5: at midnight, her phone starts blowing up. She used to 976 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 5: leave it downstairs the night to charge, and I was 977 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,800 Speaker 5: going to be sleeping downstairs that night. I got lucky 978 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 5: and figured out her pass word, and of course coworker 979 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,319 Speaker 5: is the one texting her. I stayed up the entire 980 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 5: night reading their texts and going through her phone. It 981 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,799 Speaker 5: was a Friday night, so I didn't have to be 982 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,640 Speaker 5: at work the next morning, but we did have a 983 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,160 Speaker 5: team event, but I didn't really care. He was texting 984 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 5: how much he missed her and hoped that they would 985 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,680 Speaker 5: see each other soon. There were missing texts in the 986 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:56,600 Speaker 5: conversations when things were getting more heated, and it was 987 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,080 Speaker 5: obvious from the conversations that it seems like there were 988 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,759 Speaker 5: phone calls and things missing as well. Like I said 989 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 5: from the start, she is a very smart woman and 990 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,799 Speaker 5: you could tell that she was trying to hide certain things. 991 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,759 Speaker 5: There were tons of I love yous, way more than 992 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,360 Speaker 5: I've heard in the past few years. Lots of I 993 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,840 Speaker 5: miss yous, I miss your hugs, blowing kisses, emojis, and 994 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,959 Speaker 5: a lot more, some selfies, a company things together, saying 995 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,759 Speaker 5: how cute they are on and off. 996 00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:23,600 Speaker 4: So this is fifteen years worth of stuff essentially. Well, 997 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 4: I don't know this happened five years into marriage. 998 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 2: Do we remember what? Dingus? Spot, how long has the 999 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 2: couple been married? Come on, come on, dingus. Well, but no, 1000 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,000 Speaker 2: he's wrong, he's wrong. He's wrong. 1001 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,040 Speaker 6: They've been together for twenty five So they've been together 1002 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:39,879 Speaker 6: for twenty five years. 1003 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,480 Speaker 5: Okay, but I think this coworker stuff started happening a 1004 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:43,400 Speaker 5: little bit more recently. 1005 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,880 Speaker 4: I don't think that it happened. I remember exactly. It 1006 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,239 Speaker 4: was five years into their marriage. Really, that was when 1007 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 4: he was like, and I went on this thing with 1008 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 4: a work e edge just so I could meet that guy. 1009 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,640 Speaker 3: Oh that was only five That was five years into 1010 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,799 Speaker 3: their marriage. Dang man. So now they're like. 1011 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,840 Speaker 2: At today and he's maybe finding out that. 1012 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, so this whole time, it's been kind of like, okay, 1013 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,200 Speaker 5: like you know, I don't know. 1014 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,040 Speaker 3: I don't know, but like, this isn't you don't have 1015 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,120 Speaker 3: enough proof? This is this is proof. 1016 00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:09,520 Speaker 4: I think. 1017 00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:12,440 Speaker 5: I think now we're getting somewhere who had Wait a minute, 1018 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,320 Speaker 5: Kim find says he paid for a college? Are you 1019 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 5: talking about the coworker or op op. 1020 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,440 Speaker 4: Oh paid for Okay, I just wanted to I just 1021 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 4: wanted to make sure because I was like, well that yeah, okay. Anyway, Yeah, 1022 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,320 Speaker 4: I think we might just be everyone sucks here because 1023 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,759 Speaker 4: maybe your wife did cheat on you, and maybe you 1024 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,640 Speaker 4: were so oblivious to the fact that you could have 1025 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,600 Speaker 4: a flaw that you just allowed your marriage to decompose. 1026 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,440 Speaker 3: I mean, it's possible, I guess. 1027 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,319 Speaker 5: But I don't think we can blame him for like 1028 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:40,360 Speaker 5: her cheating though, because it feels like that's what we're figuring. 1029 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,719 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, everyone sucks here. 1030 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,479 Speaker 4: It's not his fault that she cheated, but it would 1031 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,880 Speaker 4: be his fault that he's so absent in his marriage 1032 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 4: that his wife lost all feeling for him, because if 1033 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 4: you don't show up, you can't just expect it. And again, 1034 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:54,719 Speaker 4: that doesn't give her the right to cheat. So why 1035 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 4: everyone sucks here? 1036 00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:55,919 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1037 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,840 Speaker 4: But it does explain why she's like, man, I just 1038 00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,440 Speaker 4: want nothing to do with my husband. I don't like 1039 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,719 Speaker 4: him he does maybe whatever. 1040 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,600 Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, maybe they are just problems in the marriage. 1041 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,600 Speaker 2: Anyway, I guarantee you this guy's leaving stuff out. 1042 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,200 Speaker 5: The only thing is there is not any actual talk 1043 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:13,520 Speaker 5: of having spiced sleep or proof of an actual physical affair. Obviously, 1044 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,080 Speaker 5: it looks like there's one going on to me. She 1045 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,440 Speaker 5: has the time as I work a lot and spend 1046 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,799 Speaker 5: time with the team, and I think she thinks that's 1047 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,400 Speaker 5: the motive. There's been a ton of other red flags 1048 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,319 Speaker 5: that I think I chose to ignore until now. She's 1049 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,000 Speaker 5: had to work late a lot the last year or so, 1050 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,799 Speaker 5: there were a couple of trips for work. She's all 1051 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,439 Speaker 5: of a sudden started drinking and it's quite a bit 1052 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,120 Speaker 5: every night, and many other things. I guess my fear 1053 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,319 Speaker 5: of losing everything I've worked so hard for kept me 1054 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 5: from blowing this up sooner. 1055 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,640 Speaker 4: Blowing this up is that what you're gonna be like, Hey, 1056 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 4: I feel like there's a problem with our marriage. 1057 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,920 Speaker 2: That's not blowing it up. That's trying to address your issues. 1058 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, trying to be like, hey, like do you are 1059 00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:54,400 Speaker 4: we maybe not in a good place right now. Yeah, 1060 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,319 Speaker 4: but I don't feel like you can well, I think 1061 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,200 Speaker 4: it doesn't feel like you can step outside of yourself 1062 00:43:58,239 --> 00:43:59,239 Speaker 4: to have that conversation. 1063 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:03,239 Speaker 5: Maybe he's blowing this up as like like exposing her 1064 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,200 Speaker 5: and like causing like starting that fight. 1065 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,719 Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, I don't know. 1066 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,480 Speaker 5: But the day after I went in her phone, I 1067 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,680 Speaker 5: asked my oldest child if the coworker was married, don't 1068 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,959 Speaker 5: involve the children. 1069 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,640 Speaker 4: Ah, I thought, I'm so selfish. She's getting his kids 1070 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,400 Speaker 4: involved now, Yeah, so selfish. 1071 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 3: I thought he was. 1072 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,320 Speaker 5: And my oldest has had an internship in my wife's 1073 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,880 Speaker 5: company before the lockdown happened, so I figured they would know. 1074 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,239 Speaker 5: They asked why, and I made up some lie about 1075 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,040 Speaker 5: seeing him on Facebook with no wife, and I thought 1076 00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,239 Speaker 5: he had a wife, said child immediately went to my 1077 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,440 Speaker 5: wife and told her that I was asking about the coworker. 1078 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1079 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 3: Oh man. 1080 00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,640 Speaker 5: Wife then came storming into my office and screamed at 1081 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,360 Speaker 5: me about looking through her phone. 1082 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,160 Speaker 3: She instantly knew why I would ask that. I guess. 1083 00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:47,719 Speaker 5: I'm sure I must have sent off a bunch of 1084 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:49,800 Speaker 5: other signs that I was wondering if something was going on. 1085 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:50,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, brother. 1086 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:54,640 Speaker 4: She's probably upset, mostly that you involved your kid. 1087 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,919 Speaker 3: Yeah that, yeah, why are. 1088 00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,480 Speaker 2: You doing that? Anyway? 1089 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,360 Speaker 5: She went through all the things that cheaters usually do. 1090 00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:05,960 Speaker 5: She denied everything I took screenshots, so she only admitted 1091 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,120 Speaker 5: to what I had proof of, which wasn't much. She 1092 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,600 Speaker 5: blamed me for invading her privacy, blamed me for a 1093 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,920 Speaker 5: lot of other stuff too, basically turning it around that 1094 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,840 Speaker 5: I drove her to seek this close emotional friendship. 1095 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,319 Speaker 3: With him, but that's all that it was. 1096 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 5: I knew that I didn't have any proof of anything else, 1097 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,640 Speaker 5: so I said that I wasn't accusing her of anything, 1098 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,960 Speaker 5: but she had to agree that it looked pretty bad 1099 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,879 Speaker 5: from my point of view and how everything was going 1100 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,480 Speaker 5: between us. She got madder because I was so calm 1101 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:29,960 Speaker 5: and wouldn't yell back, and. 1102 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:30,680 Speaker 3: She stormed out. 1103 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,680 Speaker 5: I looked at a lot of Reddit since then and 1104 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,879 Speaker 5: realized just how many mistakes I've made since that blow up. 1105 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,960 Speaker 5: She's been hiding her phone, she changed her passwords on everything, 1106 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:40,600 Speaker 5: and has made sure that she's not going to let 1107 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,240 Speaker 5: me find anything else very easily. 1108 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,080 Speaker 4: For a half second, I was like, maybe he realizes 1109 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,160 Speaker 4: the changes he needs to make about himself. But nope, 1110 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,400 Speaker 4: he's talking about now it'll be harder for me to 1111 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,800 Speaker 4: find evidence that she's cheating. 1112 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I get how that would be suspicious, though. 1113 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,440 Speaker 2: I mean, but at this point not she's incredibly suspicious. 1114 00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:57,960 Speaker 2: She very male. 1115 00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:02,280 Speaker 4: She very well could be cheating. However, it doesn't feel 1116 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:06,560 Speaker 4: like that. You know, you're the perfect present partner and 1117 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,000 Speaker 4: that it's like, why is she doing this? Sounds like 1118 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:13,640 Speaker 4: you've been prioritizing your team over your marriage for the 1119 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:17,040 Speaker 4: past however many years, probably at least a decade possible, 1120 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,160 Speaker 4: because she used to be there right with you the 1121 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,200 Speaker 4: whole time she's with you, and then she's like, all right, 1122 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:22,280 Speaker 4: what is this going to stop? 1123 00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:23,359 Speaker 2: We've been doing this for ten years. 1124 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,040 Speaker 4: I'm pulling back. Yeah, I'm pulling back, and you just 1125 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,439 Speaker 4: kept going and kept going and kept going. Now you're 1126 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,359 Speaker 4: completely alone in this. 1127 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:31,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. 1128 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:32,399 Speaker 3: You know, I. 1129 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:33,839 Speaker 4: Guarantee you if you've been doing this for this long, 1130 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,200 Speaker 4: you could pull back. But people who do sports, they 1131 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:36,759 Speaker 4: love it. 1132 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like. 1133 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,560 Speaker 4: You're fighting two loves that you maybe like, you love 1134 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,319 Speaker 4: your wife and you love this sport and you love 1135 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:46,000 Speaker 4: this team. But if you prioritize one over the other. 1136 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:47,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. 1137 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,000 Speaker 2: I think you prioritize the wrong one. 1138 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's possible. It's possible. 1139 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,680 Speaker 5: I did ask her about this, and she tells me 1140 00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:55,000 Speaker 5: that I invaded her privacy. 1141 00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,000 Speaker 3: But if I won her phone, I can have it. 1142 00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:58,880 Speaker 5: I politely told her that I know how smart she 1143 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 5: is and if she wanted to hide from me, she's 1144 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,040 Speaker 5: smart enough to figure out how. 1145 00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,439 Speaker 3: So where do I go from here? I just want 1146 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,120 Speaker 3: the truth. We had one other talk, but it was 1147 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:07,920 Speaker 3: more of the same. 1148 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,279 Speaker 5: I don't want to lose everything, but if she's a 1149 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,080 Speaker 5: lying cheater, I don't want that either. 1150 00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:13,920 Speaker 3: The worst part is that I still love her with 1151 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:14,600 Speaker 3: all my. 1152 00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:18,040 Speaker 5: Heart's so smart, beautiful, a great mother to my kids, 1153 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,560 Speaker 5: who are both brilliant like her, tops in their classes. 1154 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:21,840 Speaker 3: I know I'm not perfect. 1155 00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,080 Speaker 5: I can be pretty intense, work a lot, and have 1156 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,280 Speaker 5: made many mistakes, I'm sure, but I've tried really hard 1157 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,680 Speaker 5: to give her a good life. I just want the truth, 1158 00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,160 Speaker 5: no matter if it's going to hurt or not. No 1159 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,960 Speaker 5: half truths or trickle the truth to me. God, this sucks. 1160 00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,880 Speaker 5: Any good advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance. We do 1161 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:39,880 Speaker 5: have some comments. 1162 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,239 Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam. We get back to the stories. But 1163 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,120 Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1164 00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,879 Speaker 5: But I don't know, I feel like everyone sucks here. 1165 00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:48,839 Speaker 2: But I don't know. 1166 00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:51,279 Speaker 5: My mind kind of has changed on him not gonna lie, 1167 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 5: because at first it was like, ah, come on, man, 1168 00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,440 Speaker 5: Like we just read a story about this man like 1169 00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:57,879 Speaker 5: accusing his wife of cheating stuff, and it's like, ah, 1170 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,239 Speaker 5: more of the same, like yeah, you have no nothing 1171 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,000 Speaker 5: to go off of, and you're just clearly insecure. 1172 00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 3: But then it turns out she was cheating, so it's 1173 00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:04,759 Speaker 3: kind of like. 1174 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,960 Speaker 4: Well, I mean she's is she emotionally cheating at the 1175 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:08,520 Speaker 4: very least? 1176 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:10,880 Speaker 2: I mean, I guess maybe you have enough evidence for that. 1177 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,799 Speaker 4: But like again, it sounds like you've been like a 1178 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,239 Speaker 4: rock like and not in like the good way, like 1179 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:21,279 Speaker 4: you've just been like a stone, like a boulder like, 1180 00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:25,400 Speaker 4: and like, well, I mean again, does that give someone 1181 00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:30,560 Speaker 4: the justification to like cheat on you? No? I again, 1182 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,120 Speaker 4: Like with the personal experience I have with this, I 1183 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,120 Speaker 4: can see it exactly in my head right now, and 1184 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:41,320 Speaker 4: it's like this guy's got probably three to four practices 1185 00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,440 Speaker 4: a week. Yeah, he's got you know, And at this point, 1186 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,000 Speaker 4: he's been playing for so long. He's probably in a 1187 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,040 Speaker 4: managerial position. So he's got a lot of paperwork stuff 1188 00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,360 Speaker 4: to do. He's got a lot of you know, league whatever, 1189 00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 4: he's got all those responsibilities. 1190 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,680 Speaker 2: He's going to he's going to you know, he's. 1191 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:58,880 Speaker 4: Going to the bar afterwards, getting some Bruski's with the 1192 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,680 Speaker 4: boys after the game, after practice. It is literally just 1193 00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:05,640 Speaker 4: like he never stopped being a varsity sports player from 1194 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:06,200 Speaker 4: high school. 1195 00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:08,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I get it. 1196 00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,560 Speaker 4: You can want that lifestyle, but you can't be like, dang, 1197 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:13,719 Speaker 4: my wife is in love with someone else. Is Maybe 1198 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,520 Speaker 4: it's because I've completely neglected her emotional needs for a 1199 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:17,520 Speaker 4: decade or more. 1200 00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:18,320 Speaker 3: It's possible. 1201 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,480 Speaker 5: I don't know if we have like enough Well, because 1202 00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,040 Speaker 5: op is telling the story, I don't think he has, 1203 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,280 Speaker 5: like said, exact evidence of him. 1204 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,080 Speaker 3: Being emotionally unavailable. 1205 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 5: I do think that's very possible, especially like for him 1206 00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,360 Speaker 5: not to be available or like not to be aware 1207 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 5: of it. 1208 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,280 Speaker 3: He wouldn't put it in the story. 1209 00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,720 Speaker 4: Dude, he said, because his wife said I have health issues, 1210 00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:37,920 Speaker 4: and he goes, I think. 1211 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:38,879 Speaker 2: She's just lying about that. 1212 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, everything everything always comes back to what his wife 1213 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,359 Speaker 4: can do for him. Nothing about it's all selfish, all 1214 00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,000 Speaker 4: self because he does why doesn't. 1215 00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,920 Speaker 5: She want to be with me anymore or that to 1216 00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,440 Speaker 5: be at the trips and stuff. But he's not like 1217 00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:55,640 Speaker 5: he's he just wants her there for him. 1218 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,080 Speaker 4: I guarantee you he could take that beach trip with 1219 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,520 Speaker 4: her in the summer. Yeah, and just be like, I'm 1220 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,560 Speaker 4: not going to be available for this week a week off. 1221 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,399 Speaker 4: I guarantee you the team survives without him being there. Yeah, 1222 00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:08,880 Speaker 4: but he won't do it. Yeah, Yeah, because I know 1223 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,279 Speaker 4: how those I mean, I don't know what support this is, 1224 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,600 Speaker 4: but I know how leagues work. Yeah, this guy being 1225 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,800 Speaker 4: gone for a vacation is not going to put everything 1226 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:17,840 Speaker 4: into a screeching halt. 1227 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, there will be people, especially if it's so successful, 1228 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,399 Speaker 5: then he should have other people that could be there to. 1229 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,800 Speaker 4: Cover this big exactly. You've been doing this for twenty years. Yeah, 1230 00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,480 Speaker 4: that's all this is to me. Yeah, wife is like, 1231 00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,120 Speaker 4: why are we still doing this the same way we've 1232 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:31,680 Speaker 4: been doing it? 1233 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:32,160 Speaker 3: Right? 1234 00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,600 Speaker 5: So, Yeah, it seems like everyone does suck here, but 1235 00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:38,360 Speaker 5: we do have some comments. OUs Frosty says, the truth 1236 00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,840 Speaker 5: you seek is that your wife is emotionally involved with 1237 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,920 Speaker 5: another man. She is already cheating emotionally, and yeah, there 1238 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,120 Speaker 5: may be reasons for that, but that's the plain fact. 1239 00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,839 Speaker 5: If you want to try and save your marriage, then 1240 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:49,960 Speaker 5: I would ask her if she would consider marriage counseling 1241 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,720 Speaker 5: rather than obsessing what the relationship is also physical exactly. Yeah, 1242 00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,080 Speaker 5: if there is absolutely no way you could bear it. 1243 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,759 Speaker 5: If she has it's physically cheating, and or your wife 1244 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 5: is not interested in counseling, then sure. If you have 1245 00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:05,680 Speaker 5: the resources, private. 1246 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,400 Speaker 3: Investigator is the way to go. Opie says, thanks. 1247 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,160 Speaker 5: I have asked her three times to go to a 1248 00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:09,880 Speaker 5: marriage counselor and told her that I'm willing to do 1249 00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:11,799 Speaker 5: whatever it takes to make things better between us, and 1250 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,799 Speaker 5: she flat out refuses. The same commentary responds what was 1251 00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,880 Speaker 5: her reason for refusing counseling, Opie says, She said that 1252 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,480 Speaker 5: we don't need it. We can work on any issues ourselves, 1253 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,360 Speaker 5: to which I said, let's talk about. 1254 00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,399 Speaker 3: This right now and at least start working on us. 1255 00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,960 Speaker 5: She starts to yell that I don't trust her, et 1256 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,239 Speaker 5: cetera each time that I've brought it up, as she 1257 00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,480 Speaker 5: gets mad and walks out, dang, we do have an update, 1258 00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:35,920 Speaker 5: but yeah, that is prostrating. I do wonder how he 1259 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,520 Speaker 5: brings it up though, because, like I get it, she 1260 00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:39,239 Speaker 5: shouldn't like. 1261 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:40,960 Speaker 3: Start yelling and storm out like they should have. 1262 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,520 Speaker 5: They should both be putting effort into having like a calm, 1263 00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,279 Speaker 5: mature conversation. But I wonder how he brings it up 1264 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,920 Speaker 5: it like to make her think like, oh, you just 1265 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,840 Speaker 5: don't trust me, you know, because if he puts so 1266 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,600 Speaker 5: much focus on like reading her texts, and then she 1267 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,560 Speaker 5: and he's paying attention to how she's like changing her 1268 00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:01,239 Speaker 5: passwords and stuff, like, he's made it clear that he 1269 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,800 Speaker 5: doesn't trust her, and he is going through her phone, 1270 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,840 Speaker 5: so it seems like he doesn't hand to live in 1271 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:07,560 Speaker 5: the best right. 1272 00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:09,360 Speaker 4: It's like he's probably being like, we need to go 1273 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,280 Speaker 4: to marriage counseling so we can figure out. 1274 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:12,359 Speaker 2: Why you're talking to this guy. 1275 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, instead of being like, we need to go to 1276 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,480 Speaker 4: marriage counseling so that we can be better partners to 1277 00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:20,320 Speaker 4: each other. He's probably presenting it and it's like, yeah, 1278 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,880 Speaker 4: we need to go to fix. 1279 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,880 Speaker 3: You, yeah, to fix only you. 1280 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,560 Speaker 5: So from how he's saying it in here, it seems 1281 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,319 Speaker 5: like she's in the wrong for reacting that way. 1282 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,880 Speaker 3: But I believe we have an unreliable narrator, but we 1283 00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:32,760 Speaker 3: do have an update. 1284 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,799 Speaker 5: So part one, we've tried to stay together and work 1285 00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,120 Speaker 5: through things. A lot of things have gone a lot better. 1286 00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:40,600 Speaker 5: We've had more spicy sleep in the last month than 1287 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,560 Speaker 5: in the last year, and it's been very good. 1288 00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:43,760 Speaker 2: After a few ken. 1289 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,640 Speaker 6: All he talks about in their relationship is like, spicy 1290 00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,479 Speaker 6: sleep is so good, dude, it's so good. 1291 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, buddy just needs to buy himself a spicy robot 1292 00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:54,760 Speaker 4: and you live in a studio. 1293 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,719 Speaker 5: Like that's his scale for how well the relationship is going. 1294 00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,759 Speaker 5: And I think that's a red flag. After a few 1295 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,359 Speaker 5: more patches, she's given me total access to her phone 1296 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:04,399 Speaker 5: and all social media. Don't need to have that. If 1297 00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,640 Speaker 5: you trust her, you're working on trust. This isn't the 1298 00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:08,880 Speaker 5: way to go about it. He still texts et cetera, 1299 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,960 Speaker 5: but she only gives very short, usually one word answers. 1300 00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,560 Speaker 5: I think he's still trying, but she's keeping her answers 1301 00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:17,200 Speaker 5: very short, mostly just about work. So all in all, 1302 00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:20,160 Speaker 5: really good. Right, Well, our anniversary came and I really 1303 00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,520 Speaker 5: tried to do some nice things. Bought her favorite dessert, 1304 00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,359 Speaker 5: bought flowers, took time off from work, to deliver them 1305 00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 5: to her surprise her, and she cried and cried. She 1306 00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,720 Speaker 5: said that she didn't deserve it and wouldn't stop crying. 1307 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,760 Speaker 5: Oh man, she would not tell me what was wrong. 1308 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,360 Speaker 5: This happened twice. Seemed like serious guilt to me, but 1309 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,680 Speaker 5: she wouldn't tell me what was wrong, so I'm left 1310 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,280 Speaker 5: to think the worst. She also accused me of tracking 1311 00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,000 Speaker 5: her with GPS, which I'm not. 1312 00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:47,120 Speaker 3: When she was going out to lunch with coworkers. 1313 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,360 Speaker 5: She said that I was seen on the GPS that 1314 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,239 Speaker 5: I'm tracking her with, so she wanted to let me 1315 00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:54,440 Speaker 5: know why she was going there. What she's just like 1316 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,719 Speaker 5: going She's like, I'm going to lunch with coworkers. By 1317 00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:59,840 Speaker 5: the way, I know you're tracking me on a GPS 1318 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,400 Speaker 5: with That's why I'm saying it, no other reason. 1319 00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:02,120 Speaker 3: I'm not trying to be. 1320 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:06,000 Speaker 4: Sounds like you guys definitely need counseling really bad. 1321 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe it's not a bad thing to let her 1322 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:10,279 Speaker 5: think that I am. 1323 00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,080 Speaker 3: She didn't give me a chance to tell her that 1324 00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:12,799 Speaker 3: I wasn't what. 1325 00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,520 Speaker 5: I just let her comments go, But then the bomb 1326 00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:16,879 Speaker 5: dropped last night. 1327 00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:17,839 Speaker 3: We have a part two. 1328 00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:19,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, fucking whatever. Let she just keep going. 1329 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, Part two. 1330 00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,120 Speaker 5: She has a son that she had when she was 1331 00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,279 Speaker 5: very young before we met, and gave him away to 1332 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,120 Speaker 5: a very nice family. He wants to connect with my wife, 1333 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:32,600 Speaker 5: his biological mother, and our children. She wants to tell 1334 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,839 Speaker 5: her children about him this weekend and wants to let 1335 00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,520 Speaker 5: him meet his half sibling. They have zero idea that 1336 00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:38,160 Speaker 5: he exists. 1337 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:39,080 Speaker 3: She said, Okay, we've. 1338 00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:40,200 Speaker 2: Pivoted so hard. 1339 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, that is a big, big detail in this story. 1340 00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,520 Speaker 2: We've pivoted fully to secret child. 1341 00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:45,799 Speaker 4: Now. 1342 00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:46,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1343 00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, she showed me his picture. I had never seen 1344 00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,640 Speaker 5: him before. He apparently looks like his father because he 1345 00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,799 Speaker 5: has no similarities to my wife. She went to a 1346 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,880 Speaker 5: family wedding last year and talked to him when I 1347 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,400 Speaker 5: was away. They know a lot about each other's families 1348 00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:00,640 Speaker 5: and have been following each other through social media. She 1349 00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:02,880 Speaker 5: basically says that I have no say in any of this, 1350 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,560 Speaker 5: since it's her son and I'm no relation, and it's 1351 00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:08,600 Speaker 5: my children's half brother. I don't know what to think anymore. 1352 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,600 Speaker 5: I'm gonna keep going. I'll say later and he could 1353 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:15,160 Speaker 5: advise on how to handle this new revelation would be 1354 00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:18,759 Speaker 5: greatly appreciated that they are relevant comments but I he 1355 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:19,719 Speaker 5: said it as. 1356 00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:21,480 Speaker 3: If it was just kind of already fact. 1357 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,319 Speaker 5: But I'm thinking he would have said like this was 1358 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,000 Speaker 5: a surprise if it was. 1359 00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,400 Speaker 3: But he did say, like the bomb has been dropped 1360 00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:28,640 Speaker 3: on me. 1361 00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,319 Speaker 4: Yeah. No, this was a secret child, so he did 1362 00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:35,759 Speaker 4: not know, secret half sibling to the two children you've had. 1363 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:39,239 Speaker 5: And then conspiracy theory, this coworker that she's with is 1364 00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:43,319 Speaker 5: the baby. No way, conspiracy theory, no way, that's why 1365 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,440 Speaker 5: they're so close, and to leave each. 1366 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,720 Speaker 2: Other, no way, that it would be crazy. 1367 00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:48,800 Speaker 3: Wouldn't that be crazy? 1368 00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,759 Speaker 2: That would be actually the most insane twist of all time. 1369 00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:52,920 Speaker 3: That would be so wild. 1370 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,520 Speaker 4: Only was their cheating, but they had a whole family. Yeah, 1371 00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:58,359 Speaker 4: or no, it wouldn't even be cheating because they would 1372 00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:01,120 Speaker 4: have made the family before. So then the reason he 1373 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:05,360 Speaker 4: was into Op's wife is because they at one point 1374 00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:07,040 Speaker 4: were together. 1375 00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, and had a child. Who knows. 1376 00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:13,360 Speaker 5: Oh my god, let's find out there are some relevant comments. 1377 00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:17,799 Speaker 5: Every hope our future spidey ass uncle says, So, did 1378 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,840 Speaker 5: she have an affair or not? OPI says, emotional for sure, Physically, 1379 00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,320 Speaker 5: I'm still not one hundred percent sure. She won't admit 1380 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,680 Speaker 5: to it, but all signs point to yes, I'm treating 1381 00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:28,080 Speaker 5: it like it went that far. 1382 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,279 Speaker 3: Proof or not. Shocking first Bullet, did you have it? 1383 00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:31,880 Speaker 6: I have it. 1384 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,279 Speaker 4: It's just the same of the It is just his 1385 00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,840 Speaker 4: fixation on almost like it was like, Yeah, if she 1386 00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:39,279 Speaker 4: was one hundred percent emotionally cheating, I wouldn't even care. 1387 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,880 Speaker 2: I don't know about the physical. I'm going to assume 1388 00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:42,239 Speaker 2: she did. 1389 00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:45,520 Speaker 4: It's like, brother, both of those situations are catastrophic for 1390 00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:46,319 Speaker 4: your relationship. 1391 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,279 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, I think that means how he's treating it. 1392 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,000 Speaker 3: I guess I don't know. 1393 00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:52,719 Speaker 5: Shocking First Bullet says, for things like this, I think 1394 00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:54,760 Speaker 5: the best approach is to take it slow for everyone's 1395 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:55,600 Speaker 5: emotional wellbeing. 1396 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,359 Speaker 3: Maybe you and her can take him out. 1397 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,440 Speaker 5: For lunch one day and just spend a day getting 1398 00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,520 Speaker 5: to know him, and then the kids maybe after that. 1399 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,560 Speaker 3: Hope. He says, he is quite a ways away, so 1400 00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:05,120 Speaker 3: it would have to. 1401 00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,319 Speaker 5: Be a planned thing to meet him. I think you're right, 1402 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,719 Speaker 5: slow is best for everyone. This could really change how 1403 00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:12,040 Speaker 5: my children look at their mother. I think they always 1404 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,399 Speaker 5: thought that she was perfect. She has been a great mother, 1405 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:16,920 Speaker 5: so that will never change no matter what, even if 1406 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,240 Speaker 5: her and my relationship changes thanks for the advice, and 1407 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,760 Speaker 5: I want to thank you for listening to full episodes 1408 00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,760 Speaker 5: of stories just like this one on iHeartRadio Apple podcast. 1409 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:29,520 Speaker 5: One of your favorite podcast app is just search. Okay, storytime, 1410 00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,200 Speaker 5: We've got more advice on there. 1411 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:31,760 Speaker 3: We belank. 1412 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:33,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, there is a little bit more to the story. 1413 00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:35,400 Speaker 5: So maybe my conspiracy. 1414 00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:35,760 Speaker 3: Theory isn't grogged. 1415 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:39,919 Speaker 4: It's just a far away I got nothing here other 1416 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:44,680 Speaker 4: than I maybe at the eleventh hour, the secret child 1417 00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:46,680 Speaker 4: will save your marriage. 1418 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:48,680 Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like it does not sound like it. 1419 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:51,640 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I really I doubt it will. 1420 00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,760 Speaker 4: Sounds like this is just another layer in the complex 1421 00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,880 Speaker 4: lasagna that is your relationship, and I don't think it's 1422 00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:59,960 Speaker 4: going to add anything to the flavor profile. 1423 00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:00,919 Speaker 3: It's just more lies. 1424 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,160 Speaker 5: He already doesn't trust her, and she's already lied poor 1425 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,840 Speaker 5: about like the bachelorette party and stuff, and clearly. 1426 00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,960 Speaker 3: Lying about this emotional relationship. 1427 00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,880 Speaker 4: So the fact that she was about that you forgot 1428 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:17,200 Speaker 4: about the bachelor the bachelor rett party, yeah, pictures. So 1429 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:22,080 Speaker 4: it's just there's no touching, no spicy dancers, there's no touching. 1430 00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:23,240 Speaker 2: No not at all. 1431 00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,200 Speaker 5: But we do have a second update, and so to 1432 00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,400 Speaker 5: make a very long story short, we are now divorced. Well, 1433 00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:34,280 Speaker 5: she wouldn't stop contact with the affair partner, showed no remorse. 1434 00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:35,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, the emotional affair party. 1435 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,960 Speaker 4: Okay, Well I guess assumed a fair partner because the 1436 00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:40,840 Speaker 4: way she did react when he like did all that 1437 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:42,800 Speaker 4: nice stuff and she's like started breaking down, Like, it 1438 00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:45,160 Speaker 4: was pretty clear that like she felt some level of like, 1439 00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,560 Speaker 4: I don't deserve this because I was doing something. 1440 00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,120 Speaker 3: Wrong that is pretty suspicious, which. 1441 00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,240 Speaker 2: Again just further's the point. 1442 00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,640 Speaker 4: Just because your partner is a completely emotionless lump who's 1443 00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:57,000 Speaker 4: not paying attention to you, does it give you the 1444 00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:01,360 Speaker 4: right to just be infidelitous exactly? You should just be like, hey, 1445 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,720 Speaker 4: you're a lump. I don't like you anymore. This really 1446 00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:05,240 Speaker 4: needs to change. I'm gonna leave. 1447 00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:05,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1448 00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:10,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, So she showed no remorse, blame shifted never really 1449 00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,920 Speaker 5: came clean. I know in my heart that I gave 1450 00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:13,880 Speaker 5: it my very best to save what we had. Did 1451 00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,760 Speaker 5: I make mistakes? Yes, looking back, I of course would 1452 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,800 Speaker 5: have done things different, but it is what it is. 1453 00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,280 Speaker 3: I had enough. I lost a lot in the divorce, 1454 00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,520 Speaker 3: but it had to happen. I kept home and. 1455 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:26,600 Speaker 5: Teams had to give up everything else, retirement savings, et cetera. 1456 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:28,720 Speaker 3: Whoa, but it was worth Can you go back. 1457 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,440 Speaker 4: Like three pages? Because the way he said, what did 1458 00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:34,600 Speaker 4: you say I gave? I know in my heart, I 1459 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:37,280 Speaker 4: gave it my very best to save what we had. 1460 00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,200 Speaker 4: I find that to be incredibly dubious. 1461 00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, I have a feeling he's maybe not the best 1462 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,640 Speaker 5: at communicating, but I guess he was trying to. 1463 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,040 Speaker 2: Go to The guy's a narcissist. 1464 00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,640 Speaker 6: I'm sorry, a bit not like full on, but he's 1465 00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:56,760 Speaker 6: so he's so like in his own outright like pointing 1466 00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,960 Speaker 6: the finger and taking. 1467 00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:05,440 Speaker 4: The exactly I would put all of everything, everyone's assets, everything, trillions. 1468 01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:07,280 Speaker 4: I'd put it on the fact that he's left out 1469 01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,040 Speaker 4: this piece of information. He had set a hard line 1470 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,600 Speaker 4: with his wife. He said, the team and me not 1471 01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:17,920 Speaker 4: changing everything else. We can talk about that not changing, 1472 01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:19,240 Speaker 4: and that's the thing. 1473 01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:20,480 Speaker 2: That needed to change. 1474 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,800 Speaker 4: Garan freaking t you it's possible, he said, I'll never stop, 1475 01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:26,240 Speaker 4: so we can't even debate it. 1476 01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:27,960 Speaker 2: So we could work on everything else. 1477 01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,280 Speaker 4: And in his head is like, well, there's no reason 1478 01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:32,440 Speaker 4: we shouldn't have been able to work on everything else. 1479 01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:35,640 Speaker 2: Because it's not the team. Yeah, I guarantee you there 1480 01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:36,320 Speaker 2: really is. 1481 01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,560 Speaker 5: A lack of trying to see things from her perspective 1482 01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:40,480 Speaker 5: in this story. 1483 01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:41,360 Speaker 3: So I will give you that. 1484 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:45,240 Speaker 5: I wouldn't say as a narcissist, but I mean it's possible. 1485 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:45,120 Speaker 3: I guess. 1486 01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,400 Speaker 4: And she's still again, still wrong for cheating, but he's 1487 01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,800 Speaker 4: completely not seeing that he could have had any hand 1488 01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,960 Speaker 4: in getting their relationship to a place where she like 1489 01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:54,800 Speaker 4: would do that. 1490 01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but I'm good now. 1491 01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:59,560 Speaker 5: Still hurts to think about it, but it gets better 1492 01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,000 Speaker 5: every day, enjoying all the things in my life. Again, 1493 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,240 Speaker 5: my brother and his family have really been there for me. 1494 01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:04,880 Speaker 3: Thanks bro. 1495 01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,320 Speaker 5: I don't want to be too long, so if there 1496 01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,000 Speaker 5: is anything else, I'll try and answer. So there's your 1497 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,240 Speaker 5: final update, and there are some quick relevant comments. Odd 1498 01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:16,520 Speaker 5: Damage forty six eighty nine says, read your other two posts. 1499 01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:19,200 Speaker 5: Scary that you can't even trust your own kids. What 1500 01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:22,000 Speaker 5: was their reaction to divorce? Did they admit to knowing 1501 01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,800 Speaker 5: about the affair? What's your feeling towards them? Did they 1502 01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,080 Speaker 5: meet their half brother? Is your ex wife with a 1503 01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,800 Speaker 5: fair partner out? I don't get that he didn't trust 1504 01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:30,520 Speaker 5: his own kids. 1505 01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:33,080 Speaker 4: Well, it's that the kid win and immediately. Yeah, that's 1506 01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,960 Speaker 4: a that's a that's a cornball comment, because you should 1507 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,600 Speaker 4: never involve your kids in the detective work you're doing 1508 01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:42,160 Speaker 4: to find out if your their mom is cheating on 1509 01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:48,000 Speaker 4: you their dad. Don't involve your kids in your affair investigations. 1510 01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,800 Speaker 2: You absolute cornball. 1511 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, that comment seems to be like just like leaning 1512 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:54,040 Speaker 3: into the distrust. 1513 01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:56,200 Speaker 2: You cann't even trust your kids. It's hard world for 1514 01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:56,880 Speaker 2: a man out here. 1515 01:01:56,960 --> 01:02:00,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, shut up, dude, Opie responds, Still talking to my kids, 1516 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,320 Speaker 5: but the relationship is different now. The younger one did 1517 01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:06,040 Speaker 5: not know anything was going on. The older I think did, 1518 01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:09,280 Speaker 5: but won't admit to anything. But won't admit to anything 1519 01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,080 Speaker 5: going on, says that they were trying to avoid conflict. 1520 01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:13,960 Speaker 5: I have very mixed feelings, but I still want them 1521 01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,080 Speaker 5: in my life. I was there when she told the kids. 1522 01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:18,240 Speaker 5: They both said that they want to meet their half brother, 1523 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,600 Speaker 5: but as of today, they have no plan on meeting him. 1524 01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:23,600 Speaker 5: I was amazed about how they reacted. They seemed happy 1525 01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:25,720 Speaker 5: to hear that they had a half brother out there 1526 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:28,400 Speaker 5: and didn't seem bothered at all that their mom had 1527 01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,520 Speaker 5: that their mom hit this for their whole lives. Something happened. 1528 01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:33,960 Speaker 5: I have no idea what, and I really don't want 1529 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,320 Speaker 5: to know, but she seems to hate the fair partner. 1530 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:39,600 Speaker 5: Now he probably dumped her now that she's single. Modern 1531 01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:42,760 Speaker 5: Plaza slave says, note to self, don't get married. 1532 01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:44,960 Speaker 3: I don't know if that's what we need to take 1533 01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:45,920 Speaker 3: away from all of this. 1534 01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:49,800 Speaker 5: But go ahead, I guess. But that is the end 1535 01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:53,600 Speaker 5: of that very long story. Yeah, wow, there's a fly. 1536 01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:57,480 Speaker 4: Tera Rain in Chat says he is a narcissist. All 1537 01:02:57,480 --> 01:02:59,680 Speaker 4: of his reasons for loving her were services to him. 1538 01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:02,280 Speaker 4: He did described one meaningful thing about her. When it 1539 01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,200 Speaker 4: was time to step up, he slumped because he would 1540 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:05,040 Speaker 4: have had to compromise. 1541 01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:05,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just. 1542 01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:10,520 Speaker 4: He literally never said one emotionally flattering thing about his wife. 1543 01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:12,640 Speaker 2: The only thing was the spicy that. 1544 01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:14,760 Speaker 4: She was hot, and they were athletes, and they had 1545 01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:16,320 Speaker 4: a lot of spicy. 1546 01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:17,800 Speaker 2: Spicy sleep, the splicy sleep. 1547 01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:22,080 Speaker 5: He would say that she was smart, but mostly in 1548 01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:25,120 Speaker 5: context of like she's so smart that she can hide 1549 01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:26,200 Speaker 5: cheating from. 1550 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:27,600 Speaker 4: Right to the point where he's like, yeah, so I 1551 01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:29,160 Speaker 4: need access to your phone. She's like, okay, you can 1552 01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,160 Speaker 4: have access to my phone. He's like, well, but I 1553 01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:33,040 Speaker 4: know you're smart. Enough to hide your stuff. So now 1554 01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:34,720 Speaker 4: that's not enough. Actually that you've done that. 1555 01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:36,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, well what are we talking about, dude. 1556 01:03:36,880 --> 01:03:39,560 Speaker 5: That's the thing with any sort of like distrust like that, 1557 01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:43,440 Speaker 5: you can't, like, even if you think that your partner 1558 01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:45,720 Speaker 5: is cheating on you, you kind of have to let 1559 01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:47,800 Speaker 5: them to a certain point, Like you can't be like, Okay, 1560 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:49,520 Speaker 5: now we have to set up these rules so that 1561 01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:52,000 Speaker 5: I know that you're not cheating, because that is just 1562 01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:54,120 Speaker 5: not the way that you can have a relationship. 1563 01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,320 Speaker 3: But it just doesn't work that way. You could have 1564 01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:57,360 Speaker 3: just had a conversation. 1565 01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,120 Speaker 4: You could have taken all the things that you had 1566 01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:00,840 Speaker 4: been feeling all that time, where it'll be like I 1567 01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:03,800 Speaker 4: feel like she's giving me excuses. I feel like we're 1568 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,600 Speaker 4: not you know, we're I feel that there's a rift 1569 01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,320 Speaker 4: growing between us. Maybe we're not spending as much time. 1570 01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:11,000 Speaker 4: You're not coming with me to the team, You're not 1571 01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,520 Speaker 4: coming this, You're don't doing that. And then listen to 1572 01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:15,120 Speaker 4: what your wife says instead of I'm sure completely not 1573 01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:16,000 Speaker 4: listening at all. 1574 01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:17,120 Speaker 2: Yeahing to you. 1575 01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:20,080 Speaker 6: This guy is like honey, there's no I in team 1576 01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,840 Speaker 6: and you're being a very selfish player. Right now, right 1577 01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,400 Speaker 6: do it for the team. I swear to you that 1578 01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:28,320 Speaker 6: my life, my life. 1579 01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,400 Speaker 4: I would put on it that he said, you can't 1580 01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:31,600 Speaker 4: change anything about the team. 1581 01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:32,360 Speaker 2: It's my life. 1582 01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:35,000 Speaker 4: I've built it for twenty years. This is what I do. 1583 01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,440 Speaker 4: You can't impact that. This is for us, honey, this 1584 01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:40,480 Speaker 4: is face. Yeah, the Walter White. I'm doing this for 1585 01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:41,080 Speaker 4: the family. 1586 01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,800 Speaker 2: No you're not. You're doing it for you this guy. 1587 01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,320 Speaker 2: Man yeah, man oh man. 1588 01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:50,960 Speaker 4: Yeah. That's the end of that episode though. Yeah. 1589 01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:51,240 Speaker 6: Yeah. 1590 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,560 Speaker 5: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We 1591 01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,440 Speaker 5: love you and see you