WEBVTT - Finding Your Joy Again | Golden Hour

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so

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<v Speaker 1>much for coming back and joining us. Kathy, you excited

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<v Speaker 1>about today?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, if you did not listen to Wednesday's episode,

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<v Speaker 2>we could have gone on for hours. We had Braden

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<v Speaker 2>and Christina on and they are amazing. So if you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't listened to it yet, get on.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm waiting. How about the good head on their shoulders.

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<v Speaker 1>They're in their twenties. I mean, they really spoke well,

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<v Speaker 1>they learned how to communicate. I really think this one's

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<v Speaker 1>going to last.

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<v Speaker 2>Susan, all the ones, all the ones in the recent

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<v Speaker 2>past from Bachelor Nation, they're all Kelsey and Dowton, and

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, all those couples amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>What about Hey, all the going I I love what

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<v Speaker 3>Braden had to say about the step daughter.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I just tell you we touched on that, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>my parents were divorced and the fact that he is

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you didn't hear him say, oh, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we go to Target and I buy her whatever she wants.

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<v Speaker 2>He gives the gift of time and that.

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<v Speaker 1>He is always there right.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you know what kids, as I said during

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<v Speaker 2>the episode, it's not what you say it's the trust

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<v Speaker 2>that he'll be there and he's giving her the time

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<v Speaker 2>and attention that she needs that's so much more valuable.

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<v Speaker 2>They're amazing, man. I wish them the best, perfect And

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, you and I played it right, because

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, you may be marrying them, officiating the

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<v Speaker 2>wedding and I'm and I'm definitely going to be there.

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<v Speaker 2>And we did offer to be matrons of honor, said Christina.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't forget us.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't forget we're coming.

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<v Speaker 2>And Braden, I'll buy your really special pair of earrings

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<v Speaker 2>for the special day.

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<v Speaker 1>So, Kath, we're going to get started on today's Fan

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<v Speaker 1>Questions episode with our topic of the day, but this

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<v Speaker 1>time with a little twist. Ok okay, So today's topic

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<v Speaker 1>of the day is inspired by a listener who wrote

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<v Speaker 1>in shall be shall Be asks, I'm in a long

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<v Speaker 1>term relationship and I'm reaching the point where I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>not happy anymore and I'm seeing more red flags from

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<v Speaker 1>my partner. A part of me wants to break up

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<v Speaker 1>with him, but I know I'm going to regret it.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you think I should proceed? So, Kathy, our

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<v Speaker 1>question of the day is, how do you figure out

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<v Speaker 1>when to break up and how do you go about

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<v Speaker 1>a breakup? Oh my god?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you know what you know, y'all? I love I

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<v Speaker 2>love Susan and we talk a lot about She and

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<v Speaker 2>I are very different. So Susan, you go first tell

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<v Speaker 2>everybody how do you manage your breakup? I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I stay way too long because I always feel bad.

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<v Speaker 1>She was going to regret it. Now, if you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to break up, why are you going to regret it?

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<v Speaker 2>Wow? Let me just say listen to what she said.

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<v Speaker 2>Shelby says, I'm reaching the point where I'm just not

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<v Speaker 2>happy happy anymore. I really it doesn't really matter. Why, right?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you're you're not happy. You're not happy if

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<v Speaker 2>he doesn't fold the socks or you know so much

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<v Speaker 2>that gives red. Wait.

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<v Speaker 1>She did say she has been in a long term relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Now she decides she's not happy. It's better that you

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<v Speaker 1>didn't get married yet.

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<v Speaker 2>So how do you figure it's?

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<v Speaker 1>How you do it? keV, I want to break up twice.

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<v Speaker 2>It's done here. That's exactly Susan. That's why I love you.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you figure out when to break up? Shelby?

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<v Speaker 2>If you are done, you're done. Don't be a jerk

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<v Speaker 2>about it, But you tell the person kindly, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>being serious now, you tell the person your feelings have changed.

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<v Speaker 2>You're just not that into them. I think there was

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<v Speaker 2>a movie you call that you know, he's just not

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<v Speaker 2>that into you. You're just not that into him. And

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<v Speaker 2>you just tell him and you're really sorry and you

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<v Speaker 2>wish him the best, and you know what, he may

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<v Speaker 2>have broken heart, he may not. When is the right

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<v Speaker 2>time to break up? It's when you feel it is,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're I'm about to say something that I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to take a lot of heat for. It's like when

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<v Speaker 2>you say, when is the right time to put a

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<v Speaker 2>dog down or a cap down? When you feel it's

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<v Speaker 2>the right time. Right, So when you know it's time,

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<v Speaker 2>it's time, do it. Why do people struggle, Susan? Why

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<v Speaker 2>do you struggle?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I feel like I'm going to make them sad

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't like hurting people's speaking.

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<v Speaker 2>Great, So let's day with the guy another six months

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<v Speaker 2>and maybe the martyr. No, listen to what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 2>So you're going to stay with a guy another six months,

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<v Speaker 2>he's going to be more invested in you. And then

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, yes, sorry, I want to do it six

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<v Speaker 2>months ago, but I didn't like I don't understand.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, let me share this and it's a bad habit,

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<v Speaker 1>but I do do it. I end up feeling so

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<v Speaker 1>guilty and not wanting to break anybody's heart that I

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<v Speaker 1>do things that will annoy him, that get him to

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<v Speaker 1>not like me anymore. Self sabotage. I mean, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you call that? It's stupid.

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<v Speaker 2>I call it stupid. That's what I call it. But

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<v Speaker 2>I just I don't know, Susan. You, you and I

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<v Speaker 2>are very similar. I've broken up. I mean that guy

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<v Speaker 2>that I dated before I came on The Bachelor, who was,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, a nice guy and I knew, I knew

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<v Speaker 2>he wasn't the guy, but I kept thinking, you know, Kathy,

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<v Speaker 2>just give it some time, because that's what everyone told me.

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<v Speaker 2>Give it time, give it time. Literally, when was the

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<v Speaker 2>right time? I literally said, he said something that I

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<v Speaker 2>won't repeat, ask me a question, and I said, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what, I think we're done here, and he just

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<v Speaker 2>looked at me and it was like I I it

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<v Speaker 2>didn't matter. I just knew. And you know what, you

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<v Speaker 2>can hurt him now or you can hurt him six

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<v Speaker 2>months from now. But the sooner you move on, the

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<v Speaker 2>sooner you your heart can open for someone else. So

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<v Speaker 2>Shelby move along. Be nice about it, be nice about it,

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<v Speaker 2>but tell him to take justice like me. Yeah, don't

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<v Speaker 2>be a Susan.

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<v Speaker 1>It's torture.

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<v Speaker 2>All right. Let's do some of our questions of the day,

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<v Speaker 2>because not question today are are fan questions. Victoria asks, Hi,

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<v Speaker 2>Kathy and Susan. I'm twenty seven years old and currently engaged.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll actually be getting married in May next year. But

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<v Speaker 2>it's been a bittersweet experience. It'll be a year since

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<v Speaker 2>I lost my dad on a expectedly this June, and

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<v Speaker 2>I've been struggling with celebrating these milestones. But I know

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<v Speaker 2>my mom is struggling in her own way experiencing this

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<v Speaker 2>time without my dad. Do you have any advice or

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<v Speaker 2>words of encouragement for us as we continue to navigate

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<v Speaker 2>milestones like this. Okay, I'm trying not to cry.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, let's breaking my heart. Yes, absolutely, keep your

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<v Speaker 1>mom so in the loop. Have your mom walk you

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<v Speaker 1>down the aisle and talk about you wish your dad

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<v Speaker 1>was here. But make her the center and the focus

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<v Speaker 1>and need her and let her know she's needed. And

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<v Speaker 1>you're so grateful that at least she's here for you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's okay to mourn your dad and wish she was there,

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<v Speaker 1>but make your mom both your mom and your dad

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<v Speaker 1>on that day. That's yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I would say, Victoria, my daughter got married two and

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<v Speaker 2>a half years ago and her dad passed away by suicide,

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<v Speaker 2>and so the marriage was really a year later than

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<v Speaker 2>would have been. And I will tell you, sweetie, it's

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<v Speaker 2>really hard. It's really hard. Your dad should be there

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<v Speaker 2>to walk you down the aisle. It's it's hard, but

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<v Speaker 2>I would encourage you. My words of encouragement to you

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<v Speaker 2>is you love this guy. You're starting your life together.

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<v Speaker 2>Try to focus on that and that's your happiest day.

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<v Speaker 2>If you want your mom. You know, my daughter didn't

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<v Speaker 2>want me to walk her down the aisle. I wanted to,

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<v Speaker 2>but she didn't. And remember, Victoria, it's your day. So

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<v Speaker 2>love your mom and talk to her about things. But

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<v Speaker 2>this is your day, and my advice to you is

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<v Speaker 2>love the moment. Be sad that your dad's not there,

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<v Speaker 2>but your dad would want you to be happy on

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<v Speaker 2>your wedding day. He would want and you know what,

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<v Speaker 2>he'll be there. He'll be watching over you.

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<v Speaker 1>And have a big picture of him there that he's there,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and you.

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<v Speaker 2>Know what, There's going to be tough milestones when you

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<v Speaker 2>have your first child, or you know, a career move

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<v Speaker 2>or something that you wish you could celebrate with him,

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<v Speaker 2>But just be patient with yourself and your mom and

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<v Speaker 2>your family and the tray. I wish you a lifetime

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<v Speaker 2>of happiness.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, and include your mommy because she's sad too. That's yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>God bless you. Okay. This one is anonymous. My father

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<v Speaker 1>in law passed away from lung cancer in December. Since then,

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<v Speaker 1>my mother in law has spent her time planning a

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<v Speaker 1>memorial party for him. The party is in a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of weeks, but I'm really worried about her after it happens,

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<v Speaker 1>because she doesn't have much to pass her time. She

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<v Speaker 1>is in her late sixties, doesn't drive more than a

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<v Speaker 1>couple miles, and can't walk for more than a mile

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<v Speaker 1>or so at a time. Her daughter lives with her,

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<v Speaker 1>but otherwise she may go days with her only social

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<v Speaker 1>interaction coming from social media. Do you have any tips

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<v Speaker 1>for activities we might suggest, any ideas of how to

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<v Speaker 1>meet friends in your golden years?

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<v Speaker 2>I do.

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<v Speaker 1>That's so sweet that they're worried about her. Though, First

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<v Speaker 1>and foremost.

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<v Speaker 2>There are so so many senior groups out there. It

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<v Speaker 2>takes a little bit of time anonymous, but research online.

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<v Speaker 2>When my husband died, my daughter researched. I didn't even

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<v Speaker 2>know the word meetup groups, but my daughter did it

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<v Speaker 2>and I joined some walking groups. I know your mom

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<v Speaker 2>can't do that, but your mother in law can't do that,

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<v Speaker 2>but look for some meetup groups. They do things like

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<v Speaker 2>go out for meals or go to movies or things

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<v Speaker 2>like that, and it's a great way for your mother

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<v Speaker 2>in law to have social interaction and meet some new people.

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<v Speaker 1>She may rejected at first because she's going to have

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<v Speaker 1>to mour and she's keeping herself very occupied planning this thing.

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<v Speaker 1>She's got to go through all the steps of morning,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and you can't make her find a friend,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. But it does put you

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<v Speaker 1>have myself out there. Yes, well exactly maybe maybe you.

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<v Speaker 2>Know, yeah, do you have any tips for activities we

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<v Speaker 2>might suggest, so, you know, meet up groups, that kind

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<v Speaker 2>of thing, and our senior centers, a knitting group. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>there's all kinds of things. And that's a book and

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<v Speaker 2>that's how you get the lightest ball in the alley

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<v Speaker 2>and get a gutter ball. But but it's going to

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<v Speaker 2>be tough for a little while. And I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I was lucky enough to make some great friends going

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<v Speaker 2>on the Golden Bachelor. Maybe right here, she's saitting right there,

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<v Speaker 2>but she and God bless you for worrying about isn't

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<v Speaker 2>that nice that she cares about her mother in law

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<v Speaker 2>so much? Absolutely?

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely? Alrighty Jeff asks, Hey, ladies, how goes it?

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<v Speaker 2>Jeff?

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<v Speaker 1>Here? I'm sixty five, work in Washington, DC, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a major league fan of The Golden Bachelor. Where are you? Jeff?

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<v Speaker 1>I enjoy your show and all your ig posts. Here's

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<v Speaker 1>a question I have, and I actually thought of it

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<v Speaker 1>after the second episode of The Golden Bachelor. Both of

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<v Speaker 1>you are consistently upbeat and funny. I know it's not

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<v Speaker 1>insincere because I've worked in politics most of my life

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<v Speaker 1>and can spot posers rather quickly. You know, those individuals

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<v Speaker 1>who are always forcing a happy disposition. I know there's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of men and women our age who want

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<v Speaker 1>to have your kind of loose approach to everyday life. Hence,

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<v Speaker 1>my question is do you girls have any pointers or

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<v Speaker 1>advice on how people can adopt being happy, go lucky

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<v Speaker 1>and authentic. Is there a mindset you carry within you

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<v Speaker 1>that makes you just roll with it all and with

0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:15.040
<v Speaker 1>a good attitude. Is there something daily someone can do

0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:18.480
<v Speaker 1>to be this way? Thanks for taking my question again,

0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:22.440
<v Speaker 1>Love you ladies and the show. Wow, Susan, you're not

0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.679
<v Speaker 1>going to believe warm warm.

0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Wait, you are not going to believe this.

0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:27.600
<v Speaker 1>You know them?

0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:34.280
<v Speaker 2>I do now, Sorry, adding I think I know who

0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:38.199
<v Speaker 2>this is. We have talked online, We've talked about meeting

0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 2>at some point. I think this is who it is.

0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.280
<v Speaker 2>But I'm not going to say she gets to get

0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.200
<v Speaker 2>you know what. I was very good in math too.

0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:51.360
<v Speaker 2>Minus zero is still too to do nothing, Kathy, Jeff,

0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 2>if this is the Jeff that I know, that is

0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.080
<v Speaker 2>his name, and I didn't see it when you said

0:13:58.080 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 2>I didn't, And I'm thinking.

0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Why sharing your DMN with me? You said, now, I

0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:06.400
<v Speaker 1>got crickets. Crickets, that's what you said. You're hiding them.

0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:11.400
<v Speaker 2>Tell the truth. Cat. We have just chatted a few times.

0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.240
<v Speaker 2>He's he does work in the DC area. If this

0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:18.800
<v Speaker 2>is the same guy, so let me let me address

0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 2>the question though, I don't think Susan and I have

0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 2>a loose approach to life. We're definitely not loose. I

0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:31.240
<v Speaker 2>think that we just enjoy life because we have seen

0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.680
<v Speaker 2>some of the sadness and the hard times in life.

0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:38.160
<v Speaker 2>And Susan stopped me if I'm wrong or if you disagree,

0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:41.520
<v Speaker 2>but we have lived some tough times and we know

0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.720
<v Speaker 2>that there is a you know, the salt's going to

0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 2>run out of the shake or whatever that metaphor is

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:52.600
<v Speaker 2>at some point, and you need to enjoy life. And

0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.720
<v Speaker 2>so adopting being happy, go lucky or authentic, I think

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.640
<v Speaker 2>being authentic you either are or you aren't, and we

0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:03.040
<v Speaker 2>are and I think you are. Being happy go lucky

0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.760
<v Speaker 2>is a choice, Jeff. It is a choice the mindset.

0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:10.080
<v Speaker 1>People don't have happy in them, the happy.

0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:12.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh you know what, I You've said that to me before.

0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:15.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't. I don't surround myself with people like that that.

0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:18.920
<v Speaker 1>I had really good friends that were gloom and doom

0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.800
<v Speaker 1>and miserable most of the time. I don't like to

0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.240
<v Speaker 1>be near those kind of people.

0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:27.720
<v Speaker 2>I think he said, is there something daily? And you know, honestly,

0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:31.240
<v Speaker 2>every morning I wake up and I thank God for

0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:35.120
<v Speaker 2>this day, and I and I just I literally say

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:38.560
<v Speaker 2>a prayer of being grateful for the day, and then

0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:43.600
<v Speaker 2>I try to find during the day just any little

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.760
<v Speaker 2>thing to be grateful for. I mean, like today it

0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.080
<v Speaker 2>was my garage door is broken. That's a whole nother story.

0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.240
<v Speaker 2>You know, a thousand dollars spring is coming my way,

0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.480
<v Speaker 2>and it's one hundred degrees here, and I'm just grateful

0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.280
<v Speaker 2>that there was an open space in the shape park

0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:01.880
<v Speaker 2>my car. I'm grateful for that.

0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:06.080
<v Speaker 1>It makes me happy, which brings me to You can't

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:11.680
<v Speaker 1>make people have a positive attitude. I suggest some books

0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.160
<v Speaker 1>that I've read along the way that helped me about

0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:16.680
<v Speaker 1>the universe and what you're putting out there, the vibe

0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:21.480
<v Speaker 1>that you're putting. If you're feeling negative thoughts and asking

0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.760
<v Speaker 1>for these positive things, it's not going to blend. You've

0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.120
<v Speaker 1>got to be one and the same. You've got to believe.

0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I wake up every morning grateful as well. I also

0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 1>ask God, please let me walk straight to the bathroom

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 1>and nothing hurt. Some days, I go, oh.

0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Wait a minute. If you're waking up and nothing's hurt

0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.920
<v Speaker 2>hurting you, you're bionic. At this point. I mean literally,

0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:46.920
<v Speaker 2>I was at my daughters the other night and I

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 2>got up. You know, I walk five miles every day

0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.520
<v Speaker 2>and I if I don't stretch, it catches up me. Literally.

0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I got off the sofa and Caitlin looks at me.

0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:59.720
<v Speaker 2>She goes, mom, what's wrong do you? I said, I

0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.120
<v Speaker 2>walked five miles and I'm old. I'm stiffed. What's wrong

0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:06.320
<v Speaker 2>with you? She started laughing. The point is, Jeff, the

0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:11.520
<v Speaker 2>point is the happiest getting up and walking the five miles.

0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:15.119
<v Speaker 2>The good attitude is, yeah, I didn't stretch it. You know,

0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.800
<v Speaker 2>you don't focus on the not stretching and the hurting

0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.119
<v Speaker 2>when you wake up in the morning. You focus on

0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.360
<v Speaker 2>the good stuff. You focus on the friendships, your children,

0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.000
<v Speaker 2>all the good things in life.

0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:30.680
<v Speaker 1>Look for the positives. It's not the dwell on the negatives.

0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:33.200
<v Speaker 2>And if this is the Jeff that I know, reach

0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:33.960
<v Speaker 2>back out to me.

0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:38.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, call me. Why is she getting everything?

0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Thanks Jef, Thanks Jeff for your for your for your question.

0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.320
<v Speaker 2>We love hearing from you. All Right, we've got time

0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.200
<v Speaker 2>for another one here. This is from anonymous.

0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:52.159
<v Speaker 1>There are a lot of the not are you name no?

0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 2>No? If you feel you know what I want to

0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.280
<v Speaker 2>say that people, if you're not comfortable. We are fine

0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.120
<v Speaker 2>with you being anonymous, because.

0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.280
<v Speaker 1>If you want to ask me out, I need a name.

0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, and he's asking me first, so there's that. But

0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:08.560
<v Speaker 2>the point is if you're asking the question, if you're

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:12.479
<v Speaker 2>asking a question, somebody else has the same question. So okay,

0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:16.080
<v Speaker 2>here we go, Anonymous, says Hi, Kathy and Susan. I

0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.919
<v Speaker 2>need some advice. I'm really confused right now. I've been

0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:23.359
<v Speaker 2>dating my boyfriend Jack for about two years. Everything has

0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:26.240
<v Speaker 2>been going great, and I really thought I knew everything

0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:29.359
<v Speaker 2>about it. Yeah. No. We're part of a close knit

0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:32.840
<v Speaker 2>friend group, a mix of his friends from college and mine,

0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.000
<v Speaker 2>and we all hang out together a lot. There's this

0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:39.080
<v Speaker 2>girl in our group, Lisa. She was part of the

0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.280
<v Speaker 2>sorority that mixed with my boyfriend's frat when they were

0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:45.879
<v Speaker 2>in college. I've always gotten along with Lisa really well.

0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:50.400
<v Speaker 2>She's fun, smart, and we've become pretty close friends. Last weekend,

0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.879
<v Speaker 2>a few of us went out for drinks and after

0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:56.680
<v Speaker 2>a couple of hours, the conversation turned to past relationships

0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:59.800
<v Speaker 2>and flings. I wasn't really paying attention until one of

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:04.639
<v Speaker 2>the ax friends, clearly tipsy, blurted out, remember when you

0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:08.920
<v Speaker 2>and Lisa used to hook up. Everyone went silent, and

0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:13.960
<v Speaker 2>Jack looked really uncomfortable. Lisa turned bright red and awkwardly

0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.119
<v Speaker 2>laughed it off. Santa was a long time ago and

0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:20.880
<v Speaker 2>not a big deal. I was stunned. Jack had never

0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.720
<v Speaker 2>mentioned anything about having to pass with Lisa, and it

0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:26.280
<v Speaker 2>hit me out of nowhere. I didn't really want to

0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:28.680
<v Speaker 2>make a scene, so I didn't say anything. But now

0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't stop thinking about it. Why didn't either of

0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:34.360
<v Speaker 2>them tell me? Jack tried to talk to me about

0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.840
<v Speaker 2>it later that night, but I was too upset and

0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:39.479
<v Speaker 2>asked him to give me some space. I don't know

0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 2>what to do. Should I confront Jack and Lisa about

0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.359
<v Speaker 2>this again? Should I just let it go since it

0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.760
<v Speaker 2>happened before we were together. I'm worried this might change

0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:52.200
<v Speaker 2>the dynamic of our friend group or make things really awkward.

0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Any advice on how to handle this situation would be

0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:57.119
<v Speaker 2>greatly appreciated.

0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.520
<v Speaker 1>First of all, how long ago was college and dam

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.800
<v Speaker 1>that's his past. You didn't even know him, then you

0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 1>have no right to judge. I get it, it'll get

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:08.160
<v Speaker 1>in your head a little bit, but no, don't make

0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:09.280
<v Speaker 1>a big deal out of this.

0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.920
<v Speaker 2>No, I think you're missing this. Why she said, We're

0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.040
<v Speaker 2>a part of a close knit friend group, a mix

0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:19.919
<v Speaker 2>of his friends from college and mine. So Lisa was

0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:23.199
<v Speaker 2>his friend. They've all been in this friend group theoretically

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.240
<v Speaker 2>for a while. She's dated the guy for two years. Susan,

0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:30.080
<v Speaker 2>I am going to say, I wholeheartedly disagree with you

0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:33.560
<v Speaker 2>on this. If we have a close friend group, you

0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:36.400
<v Speaker 2>and I are in a close friend group and you

0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:37.800
<v Speaker 2>have slept.

0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.360
<v Speaker 1>With the guy that I at dating slept with.

0:20:41.720 --> 0:20:47.240
<v Speaker 2>That Wait, honey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, listen,

0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:51.919
<v Speaker 2>you are sixty seven. Hook Up in this parlance means

0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:56.080
<v Speaker 2>getting it on, having sex, doing the deed, sticking it whatever,

0:20:56.119 --> 0:20:59.560
<v Speaker 2>you got it now, great, Okay, let's move on. Right,

0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:03.639
<v Speaker 2>they did this, So they did the deed, And I

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:10.280
<v Speaker 2>gotta say, I find that very suspect that he or Lisa.

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.119
<v Speaker 1>Uh say, it was a long time ago.

0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't care a small friend group. I'm saying, uh,

0:21:20.880 --> 0:21:23.199
<v Speaker 2>you gotta, you, gotta, you gotta bring that one up.

0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:27.359
<v Speaker 2>I mean, hooking up is different from having an emotional relation.

0:21:27.520 --> 0:21:29.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, he said. She says here that he tried to

0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:31.320
<v Speaker 1>talk to her about it that night.

0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:34.000
<v Speaker 2>That's o Kamon, Susan, I would say, give me some space,

0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:37.960
<v Speaker 2>like I I feel for her. Shocked all of the above.

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:42.280
<v Speaker 2>And you know what, Lisa turned red because she probably

0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:45.280
<v Speaker 2>was really embarrassed that she was that.

0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:48.359
<v Speaker 1>They agreed not to tell this girl.

0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:53.280
<v Speaker 2>And so okay, So my advice anonymous, and again I'm

0:21:53.320 --> 0:21:55.240
<v Speaker 2>You're not the only one in this boat, sweetie. So

0:21:55.880 --> 0:22:01.199
<v Speaker 2>my advice to you is, take a breath, think about

0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:04.760
<v Speaker 2>what you really want to ask him. Do you just

0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:06.680
<v Speaker 2>want to know if they hooked up? Because they did,

0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:10.480
<v Speaker 2>that's what you heard. So if you want to know,

0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:13.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, I always say to my kids, don't ask

0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 2>a question that you don't want the answer to or

0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:20.879
<v Speaker 2>you already know the answer to. So we already know

0:22:20.960 --> 0:22:22.840
<v Speaker 2>we hooked up with her, and Susan just learned what

0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:23.680
<v Speaker 2>hooking up means.

0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:26.479
<v Speaker 1>I really thought it was makeout session.

0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:28.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my daughter made fun of me. I've got to

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:30.800
<v Speaker 2>be honest. I didn't know until my daughter school. But

0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:33.040
<v Speaker 2>any who, so she already.

0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:35.120
<v Speaker 1>I might have even said, yeah, I hooked up with him.

0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:37.600
<v Speaker 1>I didn't sleep with them, my god.

0:22:39.320 --> 0:22:43.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Well now you know, So should I let it

0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:47.320
<v Speaker 2>go since it happened before we were together? Of course not,

0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:51.880
<v Speaker 2>because it's already Let wait a minute. You can let

0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:55.040
<v Speaker 2>it go in terms of not being angry, but you

0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 2>can have the conversation with Jack Anonymous and say, hey,

0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:02.200
<v Speaker 2>we've been together two weeks, two years, and we've had

0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:05.040
<v Speaker 2>this close friend group, and you know, it was just

0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:08.480
<v Speaker 2>a horrible way to find out. It's not that I

0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:10.280
<v Speaker 2>judge you for it. It's not I didn't even know

0:23:10.320 --> 0:23:12.440
<v Speaker 2>you that. Like, she should be able to say what

0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:17.440
<v Speaker 2>she thinks and he and he better say.

0:23:18.840 --> 0:23:19.639
<v Speaker 1>He likes her.

0:23:20.119 --> 0:23:23.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly, And and Jack Man makes a suggestion buy

0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:25.520
<v Speaker 2>her some beautiful.

0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:27.440
<v Speaker 1>Flowers or diamond earrings.

0:23:27.760 --> 0:23:29.800
<v Speaker 2>Or let's go for it, diamond ring if you if

0:23:29.840 --> 0:23:33.200
<v Speaker 2>she's the one, make something happen here, Jack make some music.

0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Feel bad for her. That sucks to find out like that.

0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:39.240
<v Speaker 1>She probably had a pit in the bottom of her stomach.

0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:40.159
<v Speaker 1>She wanted to throw up.

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, the odd thing is the odd thing

0:23:42.760 --> 0:23:46.400
<v Speaker 2>is they're all that's the red flag for me. They're

0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:49.719
<v Speaker 2>all good, but me, well, I don't know if anybody,

0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:53.199
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, if everyone knew, oh yes, good, yeah,

0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:54.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and I.

0:23:54.119 --> 0:23:57.720
<v Speaker 1>Would I would probably tell the whole Thanks guys, thanks

0:23:58.200 --> 0:24:02.440
<v Speaker 1>you all of you knew this, and nobody tried.

0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:04.680
<v Speaker 2>To tell me, Susan, I love you. That's a lot

0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:09.280
<v Speaker 2>of bravado. I think you would be heartbroken and upset.

0:24:08.960 --> 0:24:13.800
<v Speaker 1>You pissed off and for all you know, for all.

0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:15.879
<v Speaker 2>Of you who have been listening to our podcast and

0:24:15.960 --> 0:24:19.240
<v Speaker 2>love Susan. She has a stash of baseball bats, and

0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:23.640
<v Speaker 2>I think one would come out here? Am I right? Yes?

0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:35.640
<v Speaker 1>Are you ready to play some moral quandry?

0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:38.640
<v Speaker 2>All right, go for it? All right, here we go.

0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:41.679
<v Speaker 2>I'll start us off, and let's see where this goes.

0:24:42.200 --> 0:24:45.640
<v Speaker 2>You use your friend's phone to take pictures of her,

0:24:46.000 --> 0:24:48.920
<v Speaker 2>and you see a notification from a group chat of

0:24:48.960 --> 0:24:52.400
<v Speaker 2>all your friends that you're not in. Do you confront her?

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Do you? Snoop? Do you ignore it?

0:24:57.160 --> 0:24:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I go, hey, what is this about? Why did anybody

0:24:59.720 --> 0:25:00.120
<v Speaker 1>tell me?

0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:01.560
<v Speaker 2>That's what?

0:25:02.280 --> 0:25:02.679
<v Speaker 1>I don't know?

0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:06.720
<v Speaker 2>Wait, Susan, you blew it again. I am supposed.

0:25:06.359 --> 0:25:10.040
<v Speaker 1>To supposed to guess what this game should be different.

0:25:10.600 --> 0:25:12.800
<v Speaker 2>No, you need to learn the rules of the game.

0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:17.560
<v Speaker 2>It's not the Susan to the world. Susan does not

0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:20.280
<v Speaker 2>follow rules. So what do you think I would do?

0:25:20.440 --> 0:25:22.640
<v Speaker 2>I know you would confront her. You you for.

0:25:22.600 --> 0:25:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Sure confront her. I would, snoop? Would I ignore it,

0:25:26.880 --> 0:25:27.840
<v Speaker 1>you would confront her.

0:25:28.160 --> 0:25:30.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're right, but I wouldn't do it in the meanway.

0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:34.320
<v Speaker 2>I would just say, why why do you and Joan

0:25:34.400 --> 0:25:36.840
<v Speaker 2>and Nancy have this thing going? Why didn't you include me?

0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:39.439
<v Speaker 2>I would I'd probably have my feelings hurt if it

0:25:39.440 --> 0:25:42.800
<v Speaker 2>were you know, friends, and I knew absolutely, I'm gonna

0:25:42.800 --> 0:25:44.439
<v Speaker 2>have to erase the one we have all going that

0:25:44.440 --> 0:25:45.600
<v Speaker 2>you're not in Susan.

0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:48.960
<v Speaker 1>Great, you know some things are better left on them,

0:25:51.160 --> 0:25:53.400
<v Speaker 1>But don't ask me to use your phone, your dumb head.

0:25:55.320 --> 0:25:58.720
<v Speaker 1>No that yeah, you know what. That one's also at

0:25:58.760 --> 0:26:01.760
<v Speaker 1>my age. I don't know that i'd be as upset,

0:26:02.400 --> 0:26:04.960
<v Speaker 1>like as a teenager when I asked people to go

0:26:05.000 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 1>to the mall and found out they went without me

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:09.600
<v Speaker 1>and told me they couldn't go. That hurts. They've done

0:26:09.600 --> 0:26:11.919
<v Speaker 1>it to my daughter, like kids can be mean. But

0:26:12.040 --> 0:26:15.119
<v Speaker 1>as an adult, maybe i'd be a surprise for me.

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:17.760
<v Speaker 2>I think I'd still be hurt if y'all went out

0:26:17.800 --> 0:26:19.440
<v Speaker 2>for drinks and didn't invite me, I'd be hurt.

0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh god, yeah, Okay, during a double date with your

0:26:24.600 --> 0:26:28.960
<v Speaker 1>best friend and your boyfriend's her boyfriend puts his hand

0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:32.680
<v Speaker 1>on your knee for a brief moment. He's always been

0:26:32.760 --> 0:26:36.680
<v Speaker 1>really nice to you, and this action makes you rethink everything.

0:26:37.119 --> 0:26:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Your friend seems oblivious, but your boyfriend clocks it immediately.

0:26:42.080 --> 0:26:42.679
<v Speaker 1>What do you do?

0:26:43.720 --> 0:26:52.720
<v Speaker 2>Okay? I think you would say something to the girl

0:26:53.280 --> 0:26:54.679
<v Speaker 2>or the guy, like what are you doing? You'd make

0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:56.280
<v Speaker 2>a joke of it, like okay, what are you doing? You?

0:26:56.560 --> 0:26:58.639
<v Speaker 2>You would just make it. You would make it light and.

0:26:58.680 --> 0:27:01.680
<v Speaker 1>Are trying to rub my leg it? Oh my god,

0:27:01.720 --> 0:27:04.600
<v Speaker 1>my boyfriend here, you better watch out exactly. You would

0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:05.360
<v Speaker 1>make a joke of.

0:27:05.400 --> 0:27:06.760
<v Speaker 2>Me, but you would make a joke of it. You

0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:08.680
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't say what the hell are you doing? What would

0:27:08.880 --> 0:27:11.040
<v Speaker 2>you think I was comfortable? What do you think I

0:27:11.080 --> 0:27:12.200
<v Speaker 2>would do?

0:27:12.240 --> 0:27:14.000
<v Speaker 1>You get excited? You got to now?

0:27:14.200 --> 0:27:18.200
<v Speaker 2>No, no, you know what I would do. I don't

0:27:18.240 --> 0:27:20.760
<v Speaker 2>know what I can tell what I do. I would

0:27:20.760 --> 0:27:23.639
<v Speaker 2>take nicely take his hand off of my thing, and

0:27:23.680 --> 0:27:26.320
<v Speaker 2>I would turn to my boyfriend. I put no, yeah,

0:27:26.320 --> 0:27:28.119
<v Speaker 2>I would. I would take his hand and put it

0:27:28.160 --> 0:27:30.679
<v Speaker 2>back on because she said it made me rethink everything.

0:27:30.680 --> 0:27:32.879
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know what that means. But I would

0:27:32.920 --> 0:27:35.640
<v Speaker 2>like lean over and give my boyfriend a kiss and say,

0:27:35.680 --> 0:27:38.040
<v Speaker 2>you know your mind? I just like I would just

0:27:38.400 --> 0:27:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't make a big thing of it. I would

0:27:40.000 --> 0:27:40.760
<v Speaker 2>just end it.

0:27:40.800 --> 0:27:42.879
<v Speaker 1>I mean, was it just for a second, or was

0:27:42.920 --> 0:27:45.199
<v Speaker 1>he really like did he squeeze it?

0:27:45.400 --> 0:27:47.080
<v Speaker 2>Or I might ask him to move his hand up

0:27:47.080 --> 0:27:48.480
<v Speaker 2>and massage my whatever he.

0:27:48.680 --> 0:27:53.639
<v Speaker 1>Just you know, like I do that, Like yeah, you know.

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:57.440
<v Speaker 2>People are very sensitive. They are too sensitive.

0:27:57.600 --> 0:28:00.320
<v Speaker 1>I am harmless. So people think I'm the biggest in

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:02.200
<v Speaker 1>the world. I want everybody's boyfriend.

0:28:02.240 --> 0:28:03.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm just flirty.

0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:04.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't mean any.

0:28:04.920 --> 0:28:08.840
<v Speaker 2>Excuse me to the world out there, Bachelor Nation and

0:28:08.920 --> 0:28:12.600
<v Speaker 2>anyone else who's tuning in. I'm available. Susan's available, and

0:28:12.640 --> 0:28:15.000
<v Speaker 2>she's only flirting unless she wants the guy. And then

0:28:15.040 --> 0:28:19.359
<v Speaker 2>your toast, she's going in for the kill. All right,

0:28:19.480 --> 0:28:22.520
<v Speaker 2>here's the next one. You see your current partner out

0:28:22.520 --> 0:28:25.479
<v Speaker 2>at lunch with their ex that you didn't realize they

0:28:25.520 --> 0:28:27.520
<v Speaker 2>still talk to. Do you go over to them, bring

0:28:27.560 --> 0:28:30.800
<v Speaker 2>it up later, or try to forget about it? Get

0:28:30.920 --> 0:28:33.520
<v Speaker 2>What would I do about it? You don't forget me me?

0:28:33.720 --> 0:28:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, Susan, I'm saying you wouldn't forget about it.

0:28:36.640 --> 0:28:37.399
<v Speaker 2>Nobody would.

0:28:37.440 --> 0:28:38.800
<v Speaker 1>That's that part don't count.

0:28:39.440 --> 0:28:41.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So what would I do?

0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:43.200
<v Speaker 1>You'd probably go up to them.

0:28:43.320 --> 0:28:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, no, no, Oh, are you kidding? I

0:28:48.640 --> 0:28:50.280
<v Speaker 2>do not like confrontations.

0:28:50.440 --> 0:28:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Now my clar.

0:28:53.760 --> 0:28:58.760
<v Speaker 2>Wait, the guy I'm dating, my partner, he's out to

0:28:58.880 --> 0:29:01.680
<v Speaker 2>lunch with his ex and I didn't realize they still

0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:03.920
<v Speaker 2>there's an issue right there that I didn't know. They're

0:29:03.920 --> 0:29:07.880
<v Speaker 2>still talking together. I'm thinking my current boyfriend's about to

0:29:07.920 --> 0:29:11.120
<v Speaker 2>be my ex. But that's the whole next story. But

0:29:11.240 --> 0:29:14.400
<v Speaker 2>I would never go over to them. I would ditch

0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:17.280
<v Speaker 2>the place so quickly. You would go up to them.

0:29:17.520 --> 0:29:20.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know in the moment that I would really. Yeah,

0:29:21.000 --> 0:29:24.200
<v Speaker 1>if it would depend if it's his ex girlfriend or

0:29:24.240 --> 0:29:27.360
<v Speaker 1>his ex wife, I don't know. Like, if it's this

0:29:27.680 --> 0:29:30.360
<v Speaker 1>ex girlfriend, I'm not going to be seen. I'm going

0:29:30.400 --> 0:29:34.000
<v Speaker 1>to hide somewhere and watch. I'm going to stake it out.

0:29:34.360 --> 0:29:37.000
<v Speaker 1>But if it's his ex wife, it could be anything.

0:29:37.560 --> 0:29:40.960
<v Speaker 1>And if she knew about me, then yeah, i'd make

0:29:41.040 --> 0:29:41.840
<v Speaker 1>my presence known.

0:29:42.960 --> 0:29:44.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I guess it depends on the ex. But yeah,

0:29:44.920 --> 0:29:47.280
<v Speaker 2>I certainly would not go up to them. All Right,

0:29:47.680 --> 0:29:51.920
<v Speaker 2>your neighbor is constantly flirting with your husband. Oh this

0:29:52.000 --> 0:29:54.880
<v Speaker 2>is she bakes him his favorite cookies for his birthday.

0:29:54.960 --> 0:29:56.840
<v Speaker 2>Will always say things like how they need to go

0:29:56.920 --> 0:29:59.360
<v Speaker 2>on a golf trip together. She's nice to you, but

0:29:59.440 --> 0:30:01.880
<v Speaker 2>only have her bring some topics you can't participate in.

0:30:02.120 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 2>What do you do? Okay, Susan, I'm your neighbor and

0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:07.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm constantly flirting with your husband that you don't have.

0:30:10.280 --> 0:30:12.680
<v Speaker 2>What do you think? What do you think I would do?

0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:15.440
<v Speaker 2>If the tables were reversed? You're coming over to my house?

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:16.680
<v Speaker 2>What would I do?

0:30:17.200 --> 0:30:19.480
<v Speaker 1>You'd say something to her.

0:30:19.680 --> 0:30:22.560
<v Speaker 2>No, you're flirting with my husband. What would I say,

0:30:22.800 --> 0:30:23.479
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing it?

0:30:23.520 --> 0:30:27.280
<v Speaker 1>Now? Would you say to me you want them?

0:30:27.760 --> 0:30:29.600
<v Speaker 2>Can I just say We're gonna have to come up

0:30:29.600 --> 0:30:30.400
<v Speaker 2>with a new game.

0:30:30.240 --> 0:30:33.920
<v Speaker 1>Because I always think I'm reading the question and I'm

0:30:33.920 --> 0:30:35.280
<v Speaker 1>feeling the answers of.

0:30:35.240 --> 0:30:36.840
<v Speaker 2>What I do you?

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:40.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what anybody will you after you?

0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:42.719
<v Speaker 2>But it just said your neighbor.

0:30:42.840 --> 0:30:45.360
<v Speaker 1>You know I would go to my husband and say,

0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:48.200
<v Speaker 1>do you see what I see? Is there something wrong

0:30:48.280 --> 0:30:51.680
<v Speaker 1>with this picture? And then maybe at the right time,

0:30:51.720 --> 0:30:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you. You know what he's taken Your fucking cookies?

0:30:56.960 --> 0:31:00.000
<v Speaker 1>Aren't that good?

0:31:00.120 --> 0:31:02.400
<v Speaker 2>I bake? He's eating my cookies? First, let me just

0:31:02.440 --> 0:31:03.720
<v Speaker 2>tell you, because you.

0:31:03.640 --> 0:31:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Know what I send my next door neighbor ticket gutlets

0:31:06.720 --> 0:31:08.600
<v Speaker 1>all the time, and his wife's there.

0:31:09.240 --> 0:31:11.280
<v Speaker 2>Your wife is all His wife is over at your house,

0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:13.360
<v Speaker 2>hanging with you all the time. There's nothing going on there.

0:31:13.560 --> 0:31:16.000
<v Speaker 2>I will tell you I would not like it. I

0:31:16.000 --> 0:31:19.040
<v Speaker 2>would not like it. I would not like it unless

0:31:19.080 --> 0:31:22.520
<v Speaker 2>she was like, you know, forty years older. No, if

0:31:22.520 --> 0:31:24.480
<v Speaker 2>it were you, Susan, you were flirting with my husband,

0:31:24.480 --> 0:31:26.600
<v Speaker 2>it wouldn't bother me because I know the bond. Yeah,

0:31:26.680 --> 0:31:30.120
<v Speaker 2>but you know, all right, your friend that went through

0:31:30.160 --> 0:31:31.600
<v Speaker 2>a time why did you get to read them?

0:31:31.640 --> 0:31:31.880
<v Speaker 1>All?

0:31:32.160 --> 0:31:33.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Sorry, go read?

0:31:33.720 --> 0:31:34.960
<v Speaker 1>No, go ahead, I like when you read.

0:31:38.440 --> 0:31:40.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm a reader? All right? Your friend that went through

0:31:41.000 --> 0:31:43.800
<v Speaker 2>a tough breakup shows you the profile of the guy

0:31:43.880 --> 0:31:47.640
<v Speaker 2>on hinge who she's going on her first post breakup

0:31:47.720 --> 0:31:50.920
<v Speaker 2>date with. You realize it's a guy you casually dated

0:31:51.000 --> 0:31:55.240
<v Speaker 2>last year that you were super into, but he ghosted you.

0:31:55.240 --> 0:31:58.920
<v Speaker 2>You don't say anything, assuming it won't last. Fast forward,

0:31:59.120 --> 0:32:01.600
<v Speaker 2>they've been dating or a few weeks and he didn't

0:32:01.640 --> 0:32:05.880
<v Speaker 2>remember you. When she quote introduced you unquote, what do

0:32:05.960 --> 0:32:07.920
<v Speaker 2>you do? Okay? What would I do?

0:32:11.360 --> 0:32:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I need to read it again?

0:32:15.600 --> 0:32:18.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well you're reading that. I'm gonna tell.

0:32:18.160 --> 0:32:21.120
<v Speaker 1>You she on her first Okay, you realize that, Yeah,

0:32:21.160 --> 0:32:23.760
<v Speaker 1>you casually dated, you were super But he goes to you,

0:32:25.280 --> 0:32:28.720
<v Speaker 1>are you going to tell you don't anything?

0:32:29.160 --> 0:32:33.000
<v Speaker 2>Laughing at buta and he didn't remember you? When I would,

0:32:33.040 --> 0:32:36.480
<v Speaker 2>what would I do? You would tell me? In a heartbeat?

0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:38.680
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, what would I do?

0:32:41.120 --> 0:32:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh, don't overthink this, Susan.

0:32:42.720 --> 0:32:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I overthink everything.

0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:46.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, girlfriend, I would tell you what a

0:32:46.560 --> 0:32:49.840
<v Speaker 2>heartbeat you gonna tell? If you know me? If it's me,

0:32:49.960 --> 0:32:52.480
<v Speaker 2>you're no, hell no, let me let me let me

0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:57.520
<v Speaker 2>phrase this for you. Louise. You know Johnny, we just met.

0:32:58.120 --> 0:33:01.600
<v Speaker 2>Guess what he didn't remember eating me. I remember him.

0:33:01.680 --> 0:33:05.200
<v Speaker 2>He had about breath and stepped on my toes three weeks.

0:33:04.920 --> 0:33:07.560
<v Speaker 1>Ago to him. You were very into him and he

0:33:07.680 --> 0:33:09.920
<v Speaker 1>ghosted you. Hey, I want to give you a fair

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:12.760
<v Speaker 1>share here. That guy ghosted me. I was really into him.

0:33:12.760 --> 0:33:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I wasn't for him, but I'm just telling you

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:16.200
<v Speaker 1>what happened.

0:33:16.240 --> 0:33:18.240
<v Speaker 2>That's exactly okay. And then I would say I have

0:33:18.360 --> 0:33:20.600
<v Speaker 2>bad breath and stepped on my feet because he's not right.

0:33:20.480 --> 0:33:25.600
<v Speaker 1>And he didn't dress in, his shoes were weird, and.

0:33:25.600 --> 0:33:26.920
<v Speaker 2>You know what, you can have him.

0:33:27.640 --> 0:33:31.640
<v Speaker 1>He's all yours, sweetheart, let me the first with no.

0:33:31.760 --> 0:33:34.440
<v Speaker 1>But seriously, wait, this is kind of funny, Kathy listening

0:33:34.440 --> 0:33:36.680
<v Speaker 1>to this. So my cousin Donna and I were both

0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:40.000
<v Speaker 1>on dating site and she used to come to me

0:33:40.200 --> 0:33:43.480
<v Speaker 1>and say, wait, I'm talking to this guy. Tell me first,

0:33:43.560 --> 0:33:50.200
<v Speaker 1>did you already meet him? Yes, yeah, you're gonna have.

0:33:50.880 --> 0:33:52.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's funny.

0:33:52.640 --> 0:33:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I have a really funny story. I'm sorry. I got

0:33:56.840 --> 0:34:01.240
<v Speaker 1>so an ex boyfriend. Okay, I'm friends with all these

0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:04.400
<v Speaker 1>people down there. This couple's getting married and I'm invited

0:34:04.440 --> 0:34:07.120
<v Speaker 1>to the wedding. So I'm on the phone with his

0:34:07.240 --> 0:34:11.920
<v Speaker 1>daughter and we have to include him for something, for

0:34:12.000 --> 0:34:14.600
<v Speaker 1>his charge card whatever. I'm helping her get the place,

0:34:14.640 --> 0:34:18.640
<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah. Long story short. I go, okay, I'm

0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:21.080
<v Speaker 1>going to add your dad. So I add him to

0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:24.120
<v Speaker 1>the call, and this man answers your phone.

0:34:24.320 --> 0:34:24.560
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:34:25.400 --> 0:34:28.600
<v Speaker 1>And this man answers the phone and I don't recognize

0:34:28.600 --> 0:34:31.160
<v Speaker 1>the boys, and I'm saying his name and he goes yeah,

0:34:31.320 --> 0:34:34.879
<v Speaker 1>and I go no, I go say your dad. He goes,

0:34:34.920 --> 0:34:38.480
<v Speaker 1>who is this? And I said Susan. He goes, wait

0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:41.560
<v Speaker 1>a minute, Wait a minute. Susan from the Golden bachelor.

0:34:41.719 --> 0:34:44.880
<v Speaker 1>I was like, uh, yeah, he goes. We went on

0:34:44.920 --> 0:34:49.160
<v Speaker 1>a date five years ago. I go, my god.

0:34:49.520 --> 0:34:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Did your guy the wrong number?

0:34:51.239 --> 0:34:53.640
<v Speaker 1>It was the wrong It was the same name, but

0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:55.440
<v Speaker 1>one had an initial after it.

0:34:55.480 --> 0:34:58.480
<v Speaker 2>And I was, you know, okay, I wanted to die.

0:34:58.719 --> 0:35:01.520
<v Speaker 2>That is going to teach you. It's called calling your

0:35:01.600 --> 0:35:02.160
<v Speaker 2>phone book.

0:35:02.719 --> 0:35:04.040
<v Speaker 1>Call I see.

0:35:04.400 --> 0:35:07.399
<v Speaker 2>If you're not dating them anymore, take the lead off

0:35:07.480 --> 0:35:10.520
<v Speaker 2>the roster. Do you know what a roster is? Take

0:35:10.560 --> 0:35:13.480
<v Speaker 2>them off. You can only have twenty eleven on a side,

0:35:13.520 --> 0:35:14.359
<v Speaker 2>on a soccer team.

0:35:14.840 --> 0:35:19.280
<v Speaker 3>You can't have fifteen eighteen, like nine thousand numbers.

0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:21.480
<v Speaker 2>Well, you deserve everything you get. Well.

0:35:21.520 --> 0:35:23.880
<v Speaker 1>Wait, I used to put fake names and try to

0:35:23.880 --> 0:35:26.200
<v Speaker 1>remember who they were. I'd say that, Donna, don't I'm

0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:28.600
<v Speaker 1>going on the dates and I don't remember the guy's name.

0:35:29.400 --> 0:35:31.520
<v Speaker 2>Can I tell you? Wait? Can I just tell you?

0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:35.440
<v Speaker 2>I trust me. I haven't dated very much. I'm I

0:35:35.520 --> 0:35:37.359
<v Speaker 2>went on a date with a guy. There was a

0:35:37.400 --> 0:35:40.040
<v Speaker 2>time for a little bit there when I sort of

0:35:40.800 --> 0:35:43.480
<v Speaker 2>was really trying to date, just to you know, to

0:35:43.560 --> 0:35:46.719
<v Speaker 2>meet people. And I had like three dates in a

0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:49.600
<v Speaker 2>week and I called the guy by the wrong name.

0:35:50.400 --> 0:35:53.399
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever done that? Oh, it's so embarrassing.

0:35:53.960 --> 0:35:55.799
<v Speaker 1>So embarrassing, it sure is, and I admit it to

0:35:55.840 --> 0:35:59.279
<v Speaker 1>one guy. You were my second date today. This ain't

0:35:59.320 --> 0:36:00.719
<v Speaker 1>work to me, I'm out of here.

0:36:02.440 --> 0:36:08.120
<v Speaker 2>No wonder you and I wonder why we're single.

0:36:08.200 --> 0:36:13.239
<v Speaker 1>I know I can't You're not now. I just was saying,

0:36:13.480 --> 0:36:18.680
<v Speaker 1>pat Kathy. For those of you listening in this today,

0:36:19.560 --> 0:36:25.080
<v Speaker 1>I got to surprise Kathy. Some gentlemen, can I listen?

0:36:25.280 --> 0:36:29.560
<v Speaker 2>This is what you're missing? You are wrote listening.

0:36:29.719 --> 0:36:33.400
<v Speaker 1>Asking Katy out pretty much described himself. I mean, he

0:36:33.520 --> 0:36:35.080
<v Speaker 1>was such a jump. I got to be there when

0:36:35.120 --> 0:36:37.040
<v Speaker 1>they meet. I'm just saying, I'm a little.

0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Susan's already fast forwarding to officiate the wedding. I know.

0:36:42.600 --> 0:36:43.759
<v Speaker 1>Depends on where he lifts that.

0:36:44.000 --> 0:36:46.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell you all, it really was a surprise.

0:36:46.320 --> 0:36:49.239
<v Speaker 2>I had the idea, I'm trying to wrap up, have

0:36:49.360 --> 0:36:51.560
<v Speaker 2>to see her face. She's looking through her papers because

0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:53.719
<v Speaker 2>you don't have this copy. We had to try to

0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:56.839
<v Speaker 2>surprise her, and I'm like, we'll just work with me here,

0:36:57.840 --> 0:37:02.880
<v Speaker 2>shut zip it. I promise. I was totally surprised. I

0:37:03.040 --> 0:37:04.120
<v Speaker 2>love it. You know what, though?

0:37:04.160 --> 0:37:06.239
<v Speaker 1>That does it? It went so fast? That does it

0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:10.960
<v Speaker 1>for today's episode of Happy Hour Golden Hour. Thanks so

0:37:11.040 --> 0:37:12.280
<v Speaker 1>much for joining us.

0:37:12.320 --> 0:37:15.200
<v Speaker 2>And be sure to submit your questions to us at

0:37:15.280 --> 0:37:20.200
<v Speaker 2>bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. We love, really, truly

0:37:20.280 --> 0:37:22.839
<v Speaker 2>love getting to connect with all of you. We love

0:37:22.920 --> 0:37:25.560
<v Speaker 2>hearing what's on your mind and giving you some advice,

0:37:26.080 --> 0:37:30.040
<v Speaker 2>and in my case, I love getting suggestions for dates,

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<v Speaker 2>so keep those coming to you and come. You know what.

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<v Speaker 2>Susan's Susan's great too, so send her some impassivites as well.

0:37:37.160 --> 0:37:39.719
<v Speaker 1>You can pretend, I mean, just like make me feel good,

0:37:39.760 --> 0:37:42.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, but don't ghost me. Listen to Bachelor Happy

0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:46.279
<v Speaker 1>Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you

0:37:46.320 --> 0:37:48.680
<v Speaker 1>listen to your podcast until next time.

0:37:49.080 --> 0:37:51.480
<v Speaker 2>See you, then bye