1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind from how Stuff 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: Works dot com. Hey, you're welcome to stuff to Blow 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: your mind. My name is Robert Lamb and I'm Julie Douglas. Julie, 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 1: are you a hugger? Do you hug? Are you one 5 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 1: of these? Are you a head machine? Are you the 6 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 1: type of person who walks into the room and it's 7 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,119 Speaker 1: hugs all around, or are you then have a person 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: when a huger walks into the room, you retreat to 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: the corner. I'm really more of a groper. I'm kidding, 10 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: I'm I'm not a gropper. Um. I'm definitely someone who 11 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: if it looks like someone wants to hug or initiating 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: a hug, then I'm all for the hug. But I 13 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: usually kind of check out someone's body language because there's 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 1: nothing worse than going in for a hug and you 15 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: get the awkward you knowess of the I don't know, 16 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: you get an elbow in your face or something along 17 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: those lines. What about you, Well, I am I am 18 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: an awkward hugger. I've sort of have to come. I've come. 19 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: I improved over the years, but I have to come 20 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: to realize that I am an awkward person when it 21 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: comes to the social dynamics of hugging. So in what 22 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: way are you, Well, I grew uh, I kind of 23 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: grew up in a well, I mean my my my 24 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: household was not like a super huggy kind of environment, 25 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: and my mom has and still has this, uh, this 26 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 1: hug variant that's uh that we referred to as the 27 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: side hug, where instead of it being like a full 28 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: on front hug, it's like she'll come up and kind 29 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: of like put an arm around like she's posing for 30 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:31,320 Speaker 1: a photo with you. And I ended up inheriting this, uh, 31 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: this side hug, and I'll still catch myself doing it 32 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: or or I've I've kind of evolved where I have 33 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: like a a hybrid that is half side hug, half 34 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: front hug. Um all awkwardness though, um, especially if I'm 35 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: around somebody's really into hugging. Um, well, I'm trying to 36 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: figure out what is worse, Like a side hug, you know, 37 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: or someone who's just like sort of merry glands crushing you. Well, 38 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: we'll see see that that also that that dives down 39 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: to another issue here with hugging. It won't because I mean, 40 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: like even as when I was younger. Like a hug, 41 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: especially you're hugging a lady, it's I mean, yeah, well 42 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: they have they have bosoms, right, and then and you're 43 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,799 Speaker 1: gonna have to hug into those and like that's kind 44 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: of weird. H It's true, it's going to be so. 45 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: So there's that. And then here's another thing that is 46 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 1: that has actually come up recently. Um, I was we 47 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 1: had some some friends over right and they'd come over 48 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: for dinner and we we had a little wine, and 49 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: then it was it was time for everybody to say 50 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 1: there goodbyes. So we went to hug goodbye, and I 51 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 1: went to hug my my friend kipt goodbye. And there's 52 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: that weird like there's this weird moment of like, all right, 53 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna hug this person. I was going for a 54 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: front hug, come on, like you know, because I'm trying 55 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: to put yeah, I'm trying to put my side hug 56 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: experiences behind me. And then there's this last minute confusion 57 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: that was probably intensified a little bye by the wine 58 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: in my system. Um, and which way our head's gonna go, 59 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 1: because you know, a head has to go this way, 60 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: another head has ago this way, and uh, and then 61 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,799 Speaker 1: the hug is fully locked. Um, but I I kind 62 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: of like went to go one direction and then I 63 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: I panicked and went the other direction. And then afterward, 64 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, my goodness, she probably thinks I made 65 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: a pass at her. She thinks I went in, probably 66 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 1: think thinks I went in for a kiss on on 67 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: what was already a pretty awkward hug. And so I 68 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: was like, I was paranoid about it for days. I'm like, oh, 69 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: she probably thinks I'm horrible. Um, you males in in 70 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: your hugging anxiety, hugging each other or hugging ladies, and 71 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: they're there. Well, I'm glad you brought it up, because 72 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: the the male hug, the male on male hug um 73 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: is another very interesting topic of discussion, and I've I've 74 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: seen it. I've seen it referred to in various uh uh, 75 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: there's various terminology for the sort of masculine hug. After 76 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: It's been called a pound shake, a one armed hug, 77 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: a dude hug, a homie hug, a shug, a hetero hug, 78 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: a bro grab, a bro hug, a thug hug, a 79 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: man hug, a hip hop hug. So why do you 80 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: even have to determine that, you know in the first place. 81 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: That's kind of cracks me out. Well, um, I mean 82 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: a lot of it. I mean it's with with hugging 83 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: in general, but especially with male hugging, Like it's gonna 84 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: vary depending on culture. Um. I just think it's funny. 85 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: It's like women don't run around going X to the 86 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: fourth hug. Yeah, I mean, like, well, if you go 87 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: back in time and like man and man kisses is 88 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: like that not that big of a deal. Say, you 89 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: know Roman times, uh, early Christian Church. Then it goes 90 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: away in the Victorian era. You go you go to 91 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: places in countries like France, you go to uh, you 92 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: got to Russia, and there's more of a tradition of 93 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: of men, you know, given a peck on the cheek. 94 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: It's you know, it's not it's a sign of affection 95 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: and it does. It's not that's there's not a sexual 96 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: connotation to it. Well and certainly in Europe it is. Um. 97 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: It is much more intimate to give someone a hug 98 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: than a kiss on the cheek on the cheek, right, 99 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: And maybe some of that is because you're getting into 100 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: someone's space. Um, but that's what we're talking about today, 101 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: we're talking about hugs, how important they are, and we're 102 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: going to talk about the actual science behind hugs. But 103 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: I have more on male hugs to talk about. Uh. 104 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: I mean the traditional male hug for those I haven't 105 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: seen it. You you sort of bring in the other 106 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: person in arms wrapped around, kind of like you're you're 107 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: going in for like a pro wrestling bear hug. And 108 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: in fact, some people like if one person is one 109 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: male is bigger than the other, sometimes they will or 110 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: or or as smaller but has a bigger uh you know, 111 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: ego about them, they'll actually go for the pick up, 112 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: they'll do the they'll do the bear hug lift because 113 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 1: nothing is more more masculine. Uh and and says, this 114 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 1: is not a lovey dovey hug. Let's say nothing that 115 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: any sort of a possible souplex. Yeah, um, but but yeah, 116 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: you go in generally only the shoulders will be touching, 117 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: uh or, that will be the main point of contact. 118 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: And then you might even throw in and then when 119 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: you squeeze, you'll throw in kind of a kind of 120 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: a kind of a move because again it's kind of 121 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 1: like we're we're just men, you know, wrestling man, we 122 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,359 Speaker 1: should if only we could butt heads, but we have 123 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: to do this stupid hug. And then of course the 124 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: back either slap on the back or pounds to the 125 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: bat because the pound like a fist is even more masculine. 126 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: Then slap to the back, and you do generally do 127 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: like three of those, um and and you may or 128 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: may not, like I say, throw in an attempted bear hug. 129 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: Besides heteronorms, there's actually a reason why you guys may 130 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: have this weird awkwardness in embracing each other. And we'll 131 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: talk about that in a little bit. You might actually 132 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: be hardwired not to be so much full on body huggers. 133 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: But have you got any other male on male hugging stories. 134 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: Just I should point out that the bear hug is 135 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: a pro pro wrestling move where one individual comes into 136 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: the front and wraps their arms around the person like 137 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: a big hug and squeezes them. And then there's also 138 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: a rear bear hug or a reverse bear hug where 139 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: the person comes up behind them and and squeezes them, 140 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: and and it's supposed to be like a method of 141 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 1: torture in the like in a pro wrestling kind of environment. 142 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: But it is it essentially? It is essentially a hug. 143 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: So you and I don't hug, but I'm gonna say this, 144 00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: like you did you give me a little punch in 145 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: the shoulder once. Well, that's that's my version of a hug. Um. 146 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 1: But for non huggers. But if you ever do, like 147 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: I feel like giving me a hug, please don't break 148 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: my phones or you know, toss me through the air. Well, 149 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: that's another thing. I have got myself giving the bro hug, 150 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: slap or pound, like even when I'm like hugging a 151 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: female occasionally, you know, it's like in a moment of panic, 152 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: I'll have that in for for no reason. Yeah, I'm 153 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: just I'm I'm I'm very scared that you're gonna pull 154 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: a wrestling move on Someone's gonna be a hospital visit. Um, 155 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: here's an interesting stat The average hug last three seconds. 156 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: And this has been called the timing of the human spirit. 157 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: Just really yeah, nice and poetic, but there is an 158 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: ideal length of a hug, and it's actually twenty seconds. 159 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: Really is that? How long is the character in Dirty 160 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 1: Rock that said it's not a hug if it doesn't 161 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: last Oh, okay, that this is the uh he is 162 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: the like the CEO of Cable Town, which has bought NBC, right, 163 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: and he's all about the hugs and family values and 164 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: he wants um Walwin's character Jack Geegy to just start hugging. 165 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: And Jack can't because he's not hardwired. He's a shark. 166 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: He doesn't know how to do that. He says, ten seconds. Okay, 167 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: so he was that. He's actually has a pretty uh 168 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: um conservative hug there. Yeah, really he should be doubling that. 169 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: But he's hugging all day long, so he may for 170 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: forgetting um this sort of that you would want to 171 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: get out of a hug and what is that? But 172 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: why might we start hugging oxytocin? Yeah, so twenty seconds 173 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: hugging someone makes oxytocin start flowing from your body. And 174 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,839 Speaker 1: we produce oxytosin every day and our blood and our 175 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: brain um in various amounts. And it's not just hugging, dancing, 176 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: having sex orgasms, U, petting your dogs and the babies. 177 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: It's like a huge row in the in the mother 178 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: child relationship. Yeah, most people think about it in terms 179 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,839 Speaker 1: of breastfeeding or giving birth. Even two helps with the 180 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: 'aring contractions. So oxytesin is known as the bonding hormone, 181 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: and it allows you to establish a deep connection with 182 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 1: other people. I've also seen it called the moral molecule. 183 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 1: The moral molecules not only in mammals, which also occasionally 184 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 1: tear each other limb from limbs, so right, right, so 185 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: that we don't tear each other from limb to limb 186 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 1: all the time. This, this wonderful moral molecule is in 187 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: us waiting to spring upon others and and hug, hug 188 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: it out. Really, I've also just real quick for not 189 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: not hugging people. Have a friend Liz, and I remember 190 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: her saying, and she may have picked I don't know 191 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 1: if she picked this up somewhere else or if this 192 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: is wisdom that emerge from within lives. But she said, 193 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: the day a hug is just a strangle that you 194 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 1: haven't finished yet. So well, you know what, there are 195 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: some people who use hugs therapeutically. So if you have 196 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: someone who is really really upset, uh, you know, they 197 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,959 Speaker 1: actually seemed as though they are beyond um consoling if 198 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: you if you were to hug them and restrict aim 199 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: them and like full body hug for twenty seconds or 200 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: more that person actually will calm down. That is how 201 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: effective this oxytocin releases via a hug. Oh man, See, 202 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: now this totally turns the bear hug in protestling on 203 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: its head, Like what if? What if it's effectiveness in 204 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,719 Speaker 1: this fictional fighting environment we're not based on I will 205 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: squeeze you until you cannot take it anymore, when you 206 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: pass out. But what if it was I will squeeze 207 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: you until into loving submission, until until loving submission, until 208 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: you realize that we're fighting over nothing and that we're 209 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: really brothers. Okay, I mean, why don't world leaders do 210 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 1: this right exactly? Mandatory thirty second hugs between all heads 211 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: of state. Well, and there are actually hug workshops, and 212 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: we'll talk about that in a little while, um, and 213 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 1: why they're fascinating and also sort of uh terrible at 214 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: the same time. But let's talk a little bit more 215 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 1: about the oxytocin because it's so interesting in the way 216 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: that it operates in our morality, our ability to trust others. 217 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: So the big question in understanding anything we do is, 218 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: of course, from an evolutionary standpoint, how does it fit in? 219 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: How does it make sense? Why would nature select for 220 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: hugging well neuroeconomic guru Paul Zach who actually calls himself 221 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: the love doctor. He has a lot of people call 222 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: themselves a love doctor. It doesn't mean they actually have credentials, No, 223 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 1: it's true, but he actually studies this right, so I 224 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: think that you know, out of everybody, he could probably 225 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: call himself a love doctor and and really means um. 226 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: He has a great talk on ted dot com called trust, morality, 227 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: and oxytocin, and he says that this is the hormone 228 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 1: that allows us to feel a sense of trust, and 229 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: from an evolutionary science perspective, it's necessary for the propagation 230 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: of a species. Okay, and you know there's some people 231 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: who have more oxytocin than others, and actually those people 232 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:49,559 Speaker 1: they have found in studies appear more trustworthy. Isn't this 233 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: fascinating The people who produce lesser marked No, No, people 234 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: who produce more oxetosin just on a regular basis. Um. 235 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: You know, if we're in a party, let's a and 236 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: you meet someone, you're gonna know within twenty seconds whether 237 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: or not this person is feeling trustworthy to you or 238 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: probably does feel trustworthy to you, because they're usually pretty 239 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: social and uh, they're a little bit more engaged with you, right, 240 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: and you have to feel like, oh, I could trust 241 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 1: this person, right, they seem they seem like a good egg. Right. 242 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: I'm sure everybody has come away of meeting someone and saying, oh, 243 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: you know, that person is like really down on earth 244 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,439 Speaker 1: or so on and so forth. That could be their 245 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: oxytocin talking. Zach and his researchers conducted a series of 246 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:34,680 Speaker 1: studies involving test subjects watching a film about a boy 247 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: who has a brain tumor okay, And the reason why 248 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: they did that is they wanted to juice up the 249 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: empathy response okay um, which is obviously related to oxytocin. 250 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: And then he had subjects play an ultimatum game. The 251 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: general idea is that a first person is given a 252 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 1: certain amount of money and told to send some portion 253 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: of it to a second person, and they're separated by 254 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 1: computers and nobody knows the identity of one another. The 255 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: second person must then decide whether to accept or reject 256 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: the first person's offer. So, for example, let's imagine that 257 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,959 Speaker 1: player one proposes divide ten dollars by offering three dollars 258 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: to player too. If player who accepts the three bucks, 259 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: they both get to keep their share of the money. 260 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: If she rejects the offer, neither gets anything. And Zack's 261 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: general findings were that the more money test subjects received, 262 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: the higher their oxytocin levels, and the higher their oxytocin levels, 263 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,959 Speaker 1: the more they reciprocated. So what you're seeing is an 264 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: economy of trust right here. And that's why it's really 265 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: interesting to him as a neuroeconomist to see how this 266 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: is operating, um just at a dollar and cents level. Now, 267 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: they're also what five of the population who barely produce 268 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: any of this oxytocin at all. Yeah, they're not trusting anyone. 269 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 1: They're not gonna get anything out of that hug. Well, 270 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: Zach Paul Zack sort of have to clingly refer to 271 00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,080 Speaker 1: them as the sociopaths and the psychopath when in that 272 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: case so that they may be they may actually response 273 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: seemed to respond well to the hug. They might have 274 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 1: to have figured it out, figured out how to fake 275 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: it right, right right, But they're probably not gonna be 276 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: full of a lot of empathy. Um, they're not maybe 277 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: going to be so much into trusting one another or um, 278 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 1: really invested in trusting at all, and they're not really 279 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: probably going to be concerned with your welfare. So but 280 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 1: this is the small amount of the population, right five um, 281 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: And there's another factor here that dilutes oxytocin's production testosterone. 282 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah yeah, which maybe why men have such 283 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 1: a hard time sharing, right or hugging. Um. But this 284 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: is the good news for for all you x wires. 285 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: I mean, you can you can hug all day long 286 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: and produce much more oxytocin, so sort of vanquish the 287 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: effects of your testosterone, which by the way, is ten 288 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 1: times higher in men than women. It also makes me 289 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: makes me think of like sporting events where which general 290 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: like another weird thing about like like men and their 291 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: their their their physical distance from each other. You know, 292 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 1: you'll see a sports and situation where it's like if 293 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: if you just scored a goal, uh, then like hugging 294 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: is totally okay. Like pretty much anything short of like 295 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: just making out on the field, it's all right because 296 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 1: it's just like like, scored a goal, come in here 297 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,480 Speaker 1: for a hug, you know kind of thing. It's it's 298 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 1: like totally seen that sort of leg humping thing too. Going, 299 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: So I wonder if that itt us like the testosterone 300 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: is so high that I don't know. Well, there's also 301 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: a bonding moment. It's a bonding moment and and U 302 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: it's a social context that allows Yeah, it's like weird contact. 303 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 1: It's kind of like the it's like it's like the 304 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: slap on the bat. So it's like this is a 305 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: very masculine thing we're doing. Um. And but and if 306 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: you just scored a goal on a professional sports team, 307 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: it's like, that's that's the that's all the slap on 308 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: the back you need. That's like, yeah, you know, I 309 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,240 Speaker 1: think that's important to just to note that, yeah, there's 310 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: a lot of science behind this in the way that 311 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: we behave, but there's also a social contract that we 312 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: all have signed on some level, so some of the 313 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: is dictating our behavior. Um. But you know, in talking 314 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: about gender, it is interesting to note that women actually 315 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: benefit a lot more from hugs than men do. And 316 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 1: this is from a University of North Carolina study. Researchers 317 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: found that women recorded greater reductions in blood pressure than 318 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: men after hugs with their patients their partners. They both 319 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: had blood pressure reductions, but women much more so, and 320 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: they had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which again, 321 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: this is another great benefit of hugging. Not only do 322 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: you have oxytocin flowing, but oxytocin is going to inhibit cortisol, 323 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: and cortisol is something that can make us crazy, right, 324 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: get really stressed out, we can't sleep well, so on 325 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: and so forth. And this they think is really helpful 326 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: in um promoting good cardiac health and women. I feel 327 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: like a like a lot of this also eliminates like 328 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: if if you're in a situation where a hug is 329 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: going to happen, like it's good to remind yourself. But 330 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: even though, um like, even though you might not be 331 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: getting much out of this hug, and this hug might 332 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 1: be an awkward situation for you, it's like this other 333 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: person is going to get like an oxytocin rush, Like, 334 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: do not deny them. There, they're they're a drug there, right, Yeah. Yeah, 335 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: And actually there's there's a point that we'll talk about 336 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: that about whether or not you're hard wired, um to 337 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,119 Speaker 1: to be a hugger. Um. But we'll talk about that. 338 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: We'll talk about chimps, and we will talk about co work. 339 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: Shots bright after this break. All right, we're back. So hugging, 340 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 1: um humane hug by the way, Oh you're welcome. Yeah, 341 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:29,879 Speaker 1: I mean it was a split second, but still it 342 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: was a hug. Yeah. And there were two microphones between us, 343 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:37,120 Speaker 1: but you know it still counts. Yeah. Do other animals hug? Yes? Yeah? Great? 344 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 1: Eight chimpanzees, um, actually hug. There is a researcher by 345 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 1: the name of Felippo o Really of Liverpool, John John 346 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: Moores University in the UK, and he and his colleagues 347 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 1: observe two adult chimps in nearby Chester Zoo for twenty 348 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,439 Speaker 1: one months and what they what he found is that 349 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 1: following a fight between two individual chimps, the chimp on 350 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,400 Speaker 1: the receiving end of the aggression tends to been more 351 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,479 Speaker 1: time scratching and grooming itself. And these are activities that 352 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: indicate a lot of stress, right, they're trying to work 353 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 1: it out. Um, the self attention this, you know, grooming 354 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: of themselves drops by nearly half if another chimp offers 355 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: a hand. How we do that and embrace or other 356 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: friendly contact within a minute after the conflict. Okay, yeah, 357 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,160 Speaker 1: Well I've you know, I've seen pictures of chimps hugging. 358 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 1: But I always thought either they were doing it, a 359 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 1: they were just doing it for the calendars, or be 360 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 1: it was the moment before the teeth sank it, you know, yeah, 361 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 1: all right, right, just trying to trick your opponent there. Um, yeah, 362 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 1: I mean it's there's also a famous video of two 363 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 1: chimps emerging from cages like after thirty years and and 364 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: seeing sun light for the first time, and it's really 365 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: it's actually a very moving video hugging each other and celebrating. 366 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: So we know that they're very social animals. We know 367 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,959 Speaker 1: that we share done a percent of their DNA, so 368 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,159 Speaker 1: it's not a huge surprise that they would do this 369 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 1: as well. So is it is it hardwired into us 370 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: the need to hug or is it just I mean, 371 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: how much how much of it is ultimately in our 372 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: genes and how much of it is it it's just, Oh, 373 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: I was born into a society or a family where 374 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 1: I'm in a situation where hugging is the norm. Well 375 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: that that's interesting because the chimp study they definitely said 376 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: that it helps to support the hypothesis that um constellation 377 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 1: embracing reduces stress, which we know really rereaks havoc our 378 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: immune systems. Right, So there's this idea that it could 379 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:32,119 Speaker 1: help to bolster our health. Um. And you know, to 380 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,919 Speaker 1: what extent is it hardwired? In the past we'd say, well, 381 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: that's that's hard to say, you know, it's it's probably 382 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: just all behavioral and nothing else. Um. But empathy in 383 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,679 Speaker 1: the form of oxytocin receptors appears to be hardwired genetically. 384 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: So you could be doubly endowed with oxytocin receptor genes UM, 385 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: and your social behavior would move a lot more towards 386 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 1: empathy and positive emotions, which we could make you a hugger. Right. 387 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: Shelly Taylor, she's the u c L. U c L, 388 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: a psychologist identified the tend and befriend response, says that 389 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: the gene produces the oxytucin receptor is responsible for influencing 390 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 1: self esteem, optimism, in a sense of mastery and at 391 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 1: a particular location. The receptor gene has two versions, an 392 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:20,199 Speaker 1: A variant and a G variant, And if you have 393 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:23,360 Speaker 1: a variant, you have an increased sensitivity to stress. By 394 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: the way, you have poor social skills and worse mental 395 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,719 Speaker 1: health outcomes. But if you have that g that obviously 396 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: helps to negate some of that um. That G receptor 397 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: is actually gonna help in terms of your self esteem 398 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:40,400 Speaker 1: and mastery. Some people have two G variants, and that 399 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: is what makes them doubly oxytocin friendly. So they are 400 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,399 Speaker 1: super huggers. They are they are hug junkies, they are 401 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 1: hug machines, right, well, I mean, well that's that's the 402 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: conclusion you could draw from that. Those are the people 403 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,680 Speaker 1: who are getting the biggest bang for their buck when 404 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,959 Speaker 1: they get a hug, right, like their oxytuition's flowing. So 405 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: those might be the people, uh, the you know, the 406 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: cable town executives of the world who are giving you 407 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: the big bear hugs that linger forever and you know 408 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: it's just an awkward void of hugging. Well, I can 409 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: also imagine just like like there's like on a purely 410 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,439 Speaker 1: physical level, like the hug is kind of like like 411 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: oh you you can see there's a company then where 412 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,000 Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you're feeling kind of down, let me 413 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: protect you with my body. You know, there's a there's 414 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,360 Speaker 1: a there's a sense of that to the activity as well. Yeah, 415 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,919 Speaker 1: and you know there are some people who hypothesize that 416 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 1: The reason that we have a three second hug that 417 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: that's sort of the norm, is that, you know, back 418 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 1: in the day, you wouldn't want to linger for more 419 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: than three seconds because if you were engaged in a 420 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: hug at saber tooth tiger would come out of the 421 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 1: while and tear you down shreds Now, does that seem 422 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 1: like it's you know, that evolutionary science probably gone a 423 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: little bit um heywire, maybe with that theory. Maybe maybe not. 424 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I've never the cat is never well, 425 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,120 Speaker 1: the cat does get kind of irritated. If my wife 426 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: and I are hugging for too long, she could become like, hey, 427 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 1: what's up. That's just because she's shows. She's like, hey, 428 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,800 Speaker 1: get that oxytope flowing over here? Yet, Well, then I 429 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 1: try to hug the cat and she hates it so well, 430 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: little cats generally don't like to be trapped and hugged, 431 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 1: and I mean she likes to send them my shoulders. 432 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: So yeah, that's good. And we already know to just 433 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: from our podcast on Dogs Dog Really Love You, that 434 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: your dog is actually releasing oxytocin when you pet your 435 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 1: dog and just looking at your at a dog can 436 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,680 Speaker 1: can can create oxytocin. That's why we love those buggers 437 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: so much. Right, Um, here's a question for you. Would 438 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: you ever attend a cuddle workshop? Oh? Yes, they had these, 439 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 1: even that you're trying to improve, I've I've found these interesting. 440 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: Um probably, I mean yeah, sure, I mean I could 441 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 1: probably use it more than a lot of people. You know, Um, 442 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: you know any kind of like I feel like to 443 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: you know, to a certain extent. Like sometimes in you know, 444 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 1: the class we're we're asked to do things with a partner, 445 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 1: and generally my wife is there, so she's my yoka 446 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: partner in those situations. But never been a time or 447 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 1: two where I've had to like help like another yoga 448 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 1: we're taking terms with another yoga partner where it's like 449 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,120 Speaker 1: I'm helping somebody else do a headstand and then they're 450 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: helping me to a headstand or doing some sort of 451 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: a you know, do you start hugging them during their 452 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: heads No? No, I don't start hugging them because that 453 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 1: would be weird. But but but no, but just like it, 454 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 1: being forced to um into a situation where you're physically 455 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: closer to a stranger, like like it it's like the 456 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,639 Speaker 1: trust sort of begins to well up a little bit 457 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: in certain barriers, um sort of breakdown you know. So yeah, 458 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: I would. If there were a hug class and I 459 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: have the time to take it, I would. I would 460 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,679 Speaker 1: give it a shot. Sure. Well. Also, what if you 461 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 1: were doubly endowed with that G variant, right, and you 462 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 1: were just hug starved, maybe you would go to a workshop, right? 463 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: And why not? It would be like going to a 464 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: place with your hook up where it's just like as 465 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: many hugs as you can take. It would be literally 466 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: a love festum. British Heart Foundation researchers have demonstrated links 467 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,679 Speaker 1: between a positive emotional state like happiness and low levels 468 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:04,399 Speaker 1: of cortisol in that stress forrmone. So, um, it's somewhat 469 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,639 Speaker 1: of a surprise to me that these workshops have sprung 470 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: up in London because I don't normally think of, um, 471 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 1: you know the British is being a bunch of huggers. 472 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: Well no they're they're not. And I think that's why 473 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: that's why they have this is because they realized, like 474 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: because I was, I was mentioning um, like even in 475 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 1: British society, society like the Victorian era, like that was 476 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: like a big period of you will hug nothing except 477 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,640 Speaker 1: in the maybe in the privacy of your own home. Um, 478 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 1: like some some of the materials I was I was reading. Uh, 479 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 1: there was a really cool article about hugging, male hugging 480 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: and male affection male kissing in a two thousand and 481 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: sixth article in The Scotsman, and its stemmed from an 482 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 1: instant where a queen and in Prince Philip. The Queen 483 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 1: and Prince Philip greeted Charles and Camilla at the opening 484 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,919 Speaker 1: of the Welsh Assembly ended up the ladies. They kind 485 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 1: of bumped hats and the Duke of Edinburgh gave his 486 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: son a firm kiss on both cheeks, and everyone was 487 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: kind of like, whoa there. You know, it's because these 488 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: are supposed to be supposed to be then the stiffest 489 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 1: of the stiff upper lips here, and they're they're engaging 490 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 1: in a little visible public acts of like male male affection. Yeah, yeah, well, 491 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,919 Speaker 1: I mean it's it's a it's a tricky road. So 492 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: I think they've woke up, like like hopefully maybe some 493 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 1: of our English or Londoner listeners will pipe in on this, 494 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,679 Speaker 1: but I think there's been you know, they've woken up 495 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 1: and they'd be like, hey, we've we've been kind of 496 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: been uptight for a little bit. Let's we have a 497 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: we're open to a wider world, We're open to all 498 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: these different cultural influences, and maybe we need to lighten 499 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 1: up a little bit and uh and actually literally embrace 500 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 1: each other. Now, there was that faux paw and an outcry. 501 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 1: Actually when Michelle Obama put her arm around the Queen's 502 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: waist and a sort of half embrace, you were like, 503 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 1: you don't touch the queen. Yeah, Well, see that's interesting 504 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 1: because that that's another thing that varies, like physical touches 505 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 1: varies varies so much like I believe, um, when I 506 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: was in Thailand, I remember reading in the guide book 507 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 1: they said that like it's totally like for for like 508 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 1: an like an older dude to put like his hand 509 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: on the side, like touch the side of like a 510 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,600 Speaker 1: youth or boy, like that's like the total like normal thing, 511 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 1: whereas of course touching somebody on the head, that's that's insulting. Well, 512 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 1: and I do understand where the cuddle workshops would would 513 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 1: um have a place. And the only thing is, and 514 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: I've only seen one clip, so mind you this is 515 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,240 Speaker 1: um a very narrow perspective that I have of it 516 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 1: so far. But the Cuddle workshop that I saw that 517 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: was conducted in London, it was a three hour event 518 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 1: which culminated in what it looked to me like a 519 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: human pile of worms, all sort of linked together, stroking 520 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 1: each other's arms and hugging. I mean, you might want 521 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 1: to call it a hug orgy. I mean fully clothed, 522 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 1: of course, and it made me really uncomfortable. I have 523 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,479 Speaker 1: to say. I remember taking some acting classes in college 524 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: and we would do various trust exercises, you know, to 525 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: try and get everybody on the same page. And they 526 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: would do a thing where everyone would you have to 527 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 1: like lay with your head on the um on the 528 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 1: lap of of the of one person, and then you're 529 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 1: I forget how we were all sort of chained together 530 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: in this, but that was really awkward because they ended 531 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: up like laying my head on the crotch, like the 532 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,400 Speaker 1: back of my head on the crotch of this other 533 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,679 Speaker 1: person in the acting class, and like and and she 534 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,440 Speaker 1: she was just kind of like clamped up. She didn't 535 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: say anything, and that the acting started came around and 536 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 1: it's like like you guys, comfortable you should in the like. 537 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 1: So that was really awkward. Yeah, and I will say 538 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 1: that I take this naya exercise class as some martial 539 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: arts dance class. It's a great physical activity, but the 540 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: instructor was really into, uh, sort of investigating how we 541 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,679 Speaker 1: feel with one another. So at the end of the 542 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 1: class she had us crawl around each other like earthworms 543 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 1: crawl over each other, and of course I stepped on 544 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,200 Speaker 1: someone's hand. There was, you know, outrage. It's interesting because 545 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 1: people coming into that class that would be thinking, there's 546 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 1: nothing nothing fishy about this. It's it's dance, sure, but 547 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 1: it's martial arts. So why m c A. I'm just 548 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 1: gonna have this normal exercise class. Yeah, yeah, next thing, 549 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 1: you know, laughter, yoga, right yeah, and yeah, right after that, 550 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,879 Speaker 1: I'll a sudden there passing around mirrors for all the ladies. 551 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,880 Speaker 1: If you know what I'm talking about. Um, if you don't, 552 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 1: don't worry about it. You don't need to know, all right, 553 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 1: So what about what about having machines hug you? Ah? Yes? Um. 554 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,919 Speaker 1: There are two fine examples of this, the first of 555 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: which is an actual robot. Big surprise. Uh, someone in 556 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 1: the pan has been working on a robot that day 557 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: you can hug call the sence roid. Do you want 558 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: to describe what this looks like? Um, it looks like 559 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,280 Speaker 1: the upper torso of a mannequin tricked out with a 560 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 1: sensor suit. Okay, so it has sort of it looks 561 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: a little less and m to me just in terms 562 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 1: of like, you know, it's it's a black sensor suit 563 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,680 Speaker 1: we wrapped around average torso of a a mannequin. So it's 564 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 1: you know, from the get go, it doesn't exactly look like, 565 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: oh man, this is a great hug machine. Uh. And 566 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,320 Speaker 1: then the person who is engaging with the mannequin and 567 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: the human is wearing a vest that interacts with it. 568 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 1: And there's when they when they or act the pressure yeah, 569 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: between their connection is triggered and it feels like a hug. 570 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: But I wrong with that except the video of it, 571 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 1: the demonstration, it looks like the guy was kind of uh, 572 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 1: sort of molesting it only with his hands, I mean 573 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: in his arms obviously, but um, it was very aggressive 574 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: like he was just sort of attacking this mannequin. Well, 575 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 1: he's learning, right, I mean, if you're hugging I'm you're 576 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 1: hugging a robot, either a your your heart or maybe 577 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: a hug junkie and you just can't get it. It 578 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 1: was a total hug junkie. Okay. But my other theory 579 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 1: would be they don't really know how to hug and 580 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: they're using this robot as an attempt to learn, in 581 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 1: which case you might not really know what you're doing 582 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 1: and there might be some some inappropriate uh um, you know, 583 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 1: fondling of the robots back or right, and you don't 584 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 1: have to worry so much about offending it, right. Um. 585 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 1: But I mean again, this guy is getting the high 586 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 1: I guess you could say of hugging and all of 587 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 1: the health benefits of hugging you ro So in the future, 588 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 1: what are we going to have a Roxy the hugging robot? 589 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: Do you think Roxy um worst robot ever? Yeah, it's 590 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: an interesting question, especially you know, we've given the podcast 591 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: we record in the past about the future of like 592 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: home care providers, robotic home care providers, and these are 593 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: machines who are gonna be living in a physical environment 594 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 1: with us. They're going to be a part of our lives. Um, 595 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 1: to what degree do we end up having that bond 596 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: of trust and to what extends should we encourage that 597 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: bond of trust through hugging, because I mean some people 598 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 1: might say, oh, I can't imagine the robot robot coming 599 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: in for a hug on me. That would be like 600 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: that would be a little creepy. But maybe not. Maybe 601 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: it would. It would build a bond where you have 602 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: of actual I mean, at least on one side care 603 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 1: um the robot. Probably not. That's what I was gonna say, Like, 604 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 1: by the time we're eighty or ninety and we we 605 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: have our robot helpers, maybe that is a feature that 606 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 1: we want. How's that help? Thatt? If that? Why not? Um? Still, 607 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: the the I guess the video of the sky attack 608 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 1: the mannequ and I shouldn't say attacking, but just vigorous hugging. 609 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 1: Vigorous hugging going on seemed a little bit menacing, at 610 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 1: least for the for the mannequin that I'm bestowing all 611 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 1: these human qualities on. And of course, the other hug 612 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 1: machine that comes to mind would be a Temple grand 613 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 1: And hug machine. Um. I know. And if you're not 614 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 1: familiar with with Temple Grandon, um, then a she has 615 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 1: an excellent tied talk. Uh and then be they made 616 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: the movie Temple Grand And where Clare Daan's plays. There 617 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: was an HBO TV movie and it's it's really quite 618 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: good and she's and she's excellent in it as Temple Grand, 619 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: she's brilliant, she's autistic. She revolutionized animal science. Um, and 620 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,960 Speaker 1: she was thinking like all right, she like she was 621 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: totally like, yeah, slaughtering animals, that's you know, she had 622 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: no problem with that. She you know, she was very 623 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 1: much a cowgirl herself. But she was like, there's no 624 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 1: need for it to be cruel, like, there's no need 625 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: for these animals to be stressed out. And you don't 626 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 1: want to stressed out animal in there from just a 627 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:59,239 Speaker 1: just a purely utilitarian frame of mind, like even if 628 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 1: you don't care about what how the animal actually feels, 629 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: you want that you don't want the meat to be 630 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,120 Speaker 1: all drawn up and uh and tight. Right, that's true. 631 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 1: If if the muscles contract, then you're gonna get a 632 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 1: tough kind of meat there. Um. But yeah, she used 633 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: her own anxiety in her own empathy toward animals actually, 634 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 1: which is interesting because she is autistic um to to 635 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: uh sort of imagine what that experience would be and 636 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 1: help revolutionize that so that animals when when they were 637 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,360 Speaker 1: actually going to be slaughtered, were a lot calmer. Um. 638 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:32,360 Speaker 1: But she also, again dealing with her own anxieties, created 639 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,239 Speaker 1: the squeeze machine. She actually wrote about her experiences in 640 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 1: the journal Child and Adolescents psycho Pharmacology, and she says, 641 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: as a child, I crave to feel the comfort of 642 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 1: being held, but I would pull away when people hugged me. 643 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:49,480 Speaker 1: When hugged, an overwhelming tidal wave of sensation flowed through me. 644 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,720 Speaker 1: At times, I preferred such intense stimulation to the point 645 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 1: of pain rather than accept ordinary hugs. At puberty, anxiety 646 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 1: and nervousness. Nervousness made me feel as though I was 647 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: calm sently in a state of stage fright. While the 648 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,240 Speaker 1: nature of this anxiety was not diagnosed at the time, 649 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: they have been retrospectively diagnosed as panic attacks. So at 650 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: the age of eighteen, she constructed this squeeze machine to 651 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 1: help calm herself down. And um, if you haven't seen it, 652 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 1: it's it's kind of easy to imagine her crawling into 653 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 1: like an iron maiden, but it's it's not. It's more 654 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,280 Speaker 1: like panels that that press in when she pulls on 655 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 1: levers or strings. Right, Yeah, she's got a lever that 656 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 1: that can control the pressure um per square inch, and 657 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: she said that using the machine for fifteen minutes would 658 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,160 Speaker 1: reduce her anxiety for up to forty five to sixty 659 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: minutes UH and then the relaxing effect was maximized if 660 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: the machine was used twice a day. And gradually her 661 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 1: tolerance of being held by the squeeze machine grew, and 662 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: also eventually her tolerance of being hugged and touched by 663 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 1: other people grew through this machine. And she did really 664 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: interesting studies with this machine on herself, on other college 665 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 1: students and also animals and across the boards. You found 666 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: that this machine, because of this um there's deep touch pressure, 667 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: it actually did the same sort of thing that a 668 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: hug would do, which is to release that oxytocin and 669 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 1: to reduce cortisol. Well, I've I've never used a hug 670 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 1: machine per se that I wish we had. When it works, 671 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,520 Speaker 1: we should. We should talk to Tony. I'm pucking one in. 672 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: It's like the office needs a hug machine. It does 673 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 1: remind me though, some things in yoga that are like like, 674 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 1: for instance, when you roll into a ball, you know 675 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 1: and sort of on your child's what child's boat is 676 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 1: what pos as well, when you're you're facing down and 677 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 1: then also to to some extent eagle pose where you're 678 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,600 Speaker 1: wrapping your limbs up like I always find the lower 679 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,279 Speaker 1: portion of the eagle where you you intertwine your legs 680 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: and sort of bring her in the front of your 681 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,880 Speaker 1: foot around behind your ankle like that. To me, that 682 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: feels really comforting. And I'm not I'm not really sure why. 683 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 1: I don't know. You just kind of feel like you're 684 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,080 Speaker 1: hugging yourself. It's kind of like you're hugging yourself. Yeah, 685 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 1: it's like you're you're you're kind of like tight and compact, 686 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,839 Speaker 1: and you're there's a a sense of comfort in itself well, 687 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,440 Speaker 1: and it's it's interesting because it is that deep pressure 688 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,840 Speaker 1: that is really important because if you were just to 689 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,799 Speaker 1: lightly stroke your skin or someone else's, then that would 690 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 1: excite your nervous system. But somehow that deep pressure is 691 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,440 Speaker 1: what you need, in that constant deep pressure to really 692 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 1: tell your your nervous system to calm down. This also 693 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,439 Speaker 1: reminds me time massage at times feels a little bit 694 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,960 Speaker 1: like it's kind of like being hugged. It's like a 695 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 1: cross for anyone who's has never had time massage. It's 696 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 1: it's a rather different animal than um sort of a 697 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 1: typical Western massage therapy where there's, you know, where they 698 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 1: generally have some like soft music playing. It's a lot 699 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:41,400 Speaker 1: of more like a continued pressure kind of stuff. But um, 700 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 1: but with the time massage, it's like a lot of 701 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: like alternating pressure and to a certain extent, it feels 702 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 1: like someone is It's like a cross between somebody giving 703 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 1: you a massage, someone putting you in a wrestling hold, 704 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 1: and at times someone kind of hugging you right right, 705 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,319 Speaker 1: So yeah, there you go. I mean, I love this 706 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,560 Speaker 1: hugging thing because you know, not only can you just 707 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 1: use it on a day to day basis, you're you're 708 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 1: hugging your significant other, family members, you get a big 709 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,720 Speaker 1: high off of it, but you can also manipulate others 710 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: with your hugs. Right. You can get them in a 711 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 1: bear hug, in a wrestling hold, and if they're inconsolable, 712 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,880 Speaker 1: you know, twenty seconds later they're just going to be 713 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 1: like a babe in your arms. Yeah. I should mention 714 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,839 Speaker 1: another disaster hug that I encountered, and that was one 715 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,759 Speaker 1: where I was like talking about hug awkwardness with some 716 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: people at a at a party and uh, and so 717 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 1: I was kind of like the challenge. The gaantlet was 718 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 1: laid down, so I needed to actually hug this guy. 719 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 1: So my friend Matt. So so i go in for 720 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,799 Speaker 1: a hug on Matt and I'm like, all right, let's 721 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 1: do it. Let's just do a big manly hug right here. 722 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,280 Speaker 1: And right at that moment, somebody tried to cut between 723 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,040 Speaker 1: us and that with like a beverage in their hand, 724 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,680 Speaker 1: and so they were smashed between us as we attempted 725 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,360 Speaker 1: to hug, and their drink fell to the to the 726 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 1: floor and shattered and it was very traumatic. Dude, that's 727 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 1: some bad hug karma. Yeah, that way it was exactly. 728 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: It was bad hug karma. I should point out that 729 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,400 Speaker 1: I do not have a hug awkwardness with my wife. 730 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,280 Speaker 1: I do really enjoy hugging my wife. Well, no, because 731 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,400 Speaker 1: you're doing I'm doing twenty seconds or more. I'm yeah. 732 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 1: And I should also mention, just to call back, we 733 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 1: did a mystery Box episode and in that I made 734 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 1: a I talked about having been given a virginity box 735 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 1: when I was in the junior high and I was 736 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 1: supposed to you're supposed to hold on that for long, 737 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,359 Speaker 1: and and I mentioned the people. It's like, hey, if 738 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 1: you're out there and you are a virgin, you know, 739 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,600 Speaker 1: and no matter what your age is, uh like, don't 740 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,560 Speaker 1: freak out about it, like it's no big deal. Like 741 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 1: sex is no big deal. I of course m was 742 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,319 Speaker 1: referring to just the social pressure that is often put 743 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 1: on people to have sex, and was in no way 744 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,760 Speaker 1: implying that that sex itself is no big deal, especially 745 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,759 Speaker 1: as far as my my significant others concerned. Oh no, 746 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,680 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we all know. Sex it's a big deal, right, yeah, 747 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,879 Speaker 1: driving force behind pretty much everything we do every day. Yeah, 748 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 1: like that after my wife, I listen to this, like 749 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,040 Speaker 1: it's not a little weird when you said, hey, don't 750 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 1: worry about sex, is no big deal. So just wanted 751 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: to me, I go, what you're saying. You were just 752 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,600 Speaker 1: telling the kids out there, if it hasn't happened yet, 753 00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,440 Speaker 1: no big deal. Yeah, don't stress out about it. That's 754 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,960 Speaker 1: my point. So hey, speaking of the kids out there, 755 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: I wonder if any of them have sent us some mail. 756 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,919 Speaker 1: Let's call the robot for that's coming in for a hug, 757 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,320 Speaker 1: all right, here's a little email from our listener Allison 758 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,399 Speaker 1: out of Victoria, British Columbia, Canada and right and says, 759 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: I run a computer lab and while tiding up the 760 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: lab during December exam period, I came across some interesting 761 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,799 Speaker 1: graffiti on one of the desks. All week, we've been 762 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: hosting exams for the lab sections of e d D 763 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,200 Speaker 1: one oh one, a class aimed at first year students 764 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,799 Speaker 1: who want to learn how to study effectively for test, 765 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,800 Speaker 1: how to improve their learning, etcetera. Which is why I 766 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: couldn't help but laugh when I came across very faintly 767 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,120 Speaker 1: written crib notes on the desktop underneath a keyboard. Someone 768 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 1: took the time to cheat on a test about how 769 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,719 Speaker 1: to take tests effectively. My coworker and I joked about 770 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,919 Speaker 1: putting up signs in the lab, and today I made 771 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,399 Speaker 1: it a reality. You see, this afternoon was the first 772 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,879 Speaker 1: lab section of this semester's e d D one oh 773 00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:00,279 Speaker 1: one intake. I made sure to print extras in full 774 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,920 Speaker 1: color and post them all around both computer lads, just 775 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 1: in case the new students needed an extra reminder. The 776 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 1: photo was difficult to take due to the lighting in 777 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,120 Speaker 1: the room and because it was written so faintly, but 778 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure the point is fairly clear. The text is 779 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,920 Speaker 1: a tweet I made after finding the Scripples in December, 780 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: and she sent us an amusing photo of it. I 781 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 1: love the podcast. I always eagerly await new ones to 782 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 1: add to my queue alongside other wonderful Agent of You podcasts. 783 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,719 Speaker 1: I love that. And we talked about that in the 784 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,759 Speaker 1: cheating episode, about how when you put a mirror up 785 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,239 Speaker 1: to someone um to their behavior, that's usually going to 786 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,200 Speaker 1: stem that sort of transgression that they're about to make right, 787 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 1: so that hopefully that will be effective. We do know, though, 788 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,479 Speaker 1: if you have someone sign a contract or some sort 789 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,320 Speaker 1: of ethics code of ethics, that that's even more effective, 790 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,520 Speaker 1: which was really interesting to learn about cheating. Yeah, I've 791 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,319 Speaker 1: definitely been in some classes where they did that, where 792 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,759 Speaker 1: they're like, here's the here's the code of honor, sign 793 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,920 Speaker 1: it and then participate in my class and then you 794 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 1: didn't cheat. I don't think so. I don't remember what 795 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,400 Speaker 1: clapp it was, but probably not. Um, you're not a cheater, 796 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 1: your lover, all right, I guess. Um. Well, anyway, if 797 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,440 Speaker 1: if anything went out there has something they want to 798 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,960 Speaker 1: share with us. You can find us on Facebook and 799 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 1: you can find us on Twitter. Imagine that on Twitter, 800 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,239 Speaker 1: we are blow the Minded. On Facebook, you know, you 801 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:21,799 Speaker 1: can just look for stuff to blow the mind and 802 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,000 Speaker 1: we are there. And you can also send us an 803 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 1: email at blow the Mind at how stuff work dot com. 804 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,760 Speaker 1: Be sure to check out our new video podcast, Stuff 805 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,440 Speaker 1: from the Future. Join how Stuff Work staff as we 806 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 1: explore the most promising and perplexing possibilities of tomorrow.