Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. This
Speaker 1: is a Countdown bulletin podcast. I'm Keith Olberman and soon
Speaker 1: to be former Senate Minority Leader. Chuck Schumer has canceled
Speaker 1: at least all of this week stops on his book
Speaker 1: tour about ten hours before its first event at the
Speaker 1: Enoch Pratz Central Library in Baltimore was to begin Monday evening,
Speaker 1: and about twenty four hours after I questioned if this
Speaker 1: tour could possibly go on as scheduled. I questioned that
Speaker 1: here on Monday's edition of the Countdown podcast. This is
Speaker 1: the first good strategic decision by Chuck Schumer in years,
Speaker 1: and it reflects his personal courage. If anything could better
Speaker 1: explain why Chuck Schumer is the wrong man to be
Speaker 1: leading the minority opposition party as the President of the
Speaker 1: United States attempts to eliminate democracy and institute an authoritarian regime.
Speaker 1: If anything else, underscored what a weasel Chuck Schumer is.
Speaker 1: Where he is timeline wise, why he thinks this is
Speaker 1: still sometime in the twentieth century, Why he needs to go,
Speaker 1: why he needs to resign from the Senate. It's this
Speaker 1: he cannot face his own voters and his own protesters
Speaker 1: protesting his own cowardice. It's cowardice in the face of cowardice.
Speaker 1: In addition to this, of course, the guy who was
Speaker 1: going to go with Schumer and be his interlocutor in
Speaker 1: this his inquisitor. His interviewer was Congressman Richie Torres, who
Speaker 1: had publicly criticized the Democrats, the ten the Quizzlings who
Speaker 1: passed the Trump Enabling Act on Friday, the Enabling Act
Speaker 1: consisting of the Continuing Resolution to keep the government from
Speaker 1: shutting down, which would have been seen as Elon Musk's fault,
Speaker 1: which the Republicans are trying to do anyway, And of
Speaker 1: course in there the poisoned pill that Schumer happily swallowed
Speaker 1: on behalf of America that hides any inquiry from Musk.
Speaker 1: Musk cannot be his actions cannot be, The Dodge people
Speaker 1: cannot be examined by Congress. That's part of the bill
Speaker 1: that Schumer approved. Well, the tour would have been fun Officially,
Speaker 1: it has been, according to Schumer's office, canceled due to
Speaker 1: consecurity concerns. Senator Schumer's book events are being rescheduled yes
Speaker 1: to the year twenty two seventy four. Unofficially, the opposite
Speaker 1: of security is, of course, insecurity, and that's Chuck Schumer.
Speaker 1: At the moment. Unofficially, Chuck Schumer has no idea how
Speaker 1: to proceed now, not only as the Democratic leader in
Speaker 1: the Senate, not only as a Senator, but in his
Speaker 1: own personal life. He is days away from the end
Speaker 1: of his professional career. As I suggested, it's very easily obtained.
Speaker 1: Thirty six Democrats and Sanders form their own caucus, because
Speaker 1: if you're not going to use forty seven minority votes
Speaker 1: in the Senate to try to slow Trump down, what's
Speaker 1: the difference If you only have thirty seven votes, You
Speaker 1: create your own new Democrats or New Zoo Review or
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it, and then if they
Speaker 1: are nice to you, you invite the other nine on
Speaker 1: the condition that Chuck Schumer resigns from the Senate. More
Speaker 1: on Schumer's cowardice that plan in particular, and the Democrats
Speaker 1: plight in a moment. But there are two other breaking
Speaker 1: headlines on Monday, the insane idiot dictator Trump with something
Speaker 1: absolutely astonishingly dictatorial and nineteen eighty four ish even for him,
Speaker 1: which has already blown up in his face because, as usual,
Speaker 1: he did not think one step beyond his own ego. Quote.
Speaker 1: The pardons that Biden gave to the Unselect Committee of
Speaker 1: political thugs and many others are hereby declared void, vacant,
Speaker 1: and of no further force or effect because of the
Speaker 1: fact that they were done by Auto Penn. In other words,
Speaker 1: Joe Biden did not sign them, but more importantly, he
Speaker 1: did not know anything about them. The necessary pardoning documents
Speaker 1: were not explained to or approved by Biden. He knew
Speaker 1: nothing about them, and the people that did may have
Speaker 1: committed a crime. Therefore, those on the Unselect Committee who
Speaker 1: destroyed and deleted all evidence obtained during their two year
Speaker 1: witch hunt of me. As an aside, no evidence was destroyed,
Speaker 1: and many other innocent people should fully understand that they
Speaker 1: are subject to investigation at the highest level. They aren't
Speaker 1: the pardons hold. The fact is they were probably responsible
Speaker 1: for the documents that were signed on their behalf without
Speaker 1: the knowledge or consent of Biden. Obviously, Trump knows that
Speaker 1: Biden did not know anything about these pardons because Trump
Speaker 1: can see through other people's minds. This is the degree
Speaker 1: of his insanity. He now believes that because he thinks it.
Speaker 1: It happened. This has been the guiding force of Trump's life, obviously,
Speaker 1: but it is becoming manifest now, and at the present
Speaker 1: rate of expansion, this man will be speaking in tongues
Speaker 1: before the end of the month. Moreover, on a practical level,
Speaker 1: back on this plane of existence as opposed to the
Speaker 1: one Trump lives in, there are three immediate problems. He's
Speaker 1: blaming this on a president being too mentally incompetent to
Speaker 1: know what he's signing, or that he's signing it by
Speaker 1: auto pen rather than by hand. Trump really wants the
Speaker 1: issue of presidential mental incompetence to be raised, to be
Speaker 1: used as a basis for unprecedented law, to be used
Speaker 1: as a basis to invalidate a president's actions. He wants
Speaker 1: the question of a president's mental competence addressed foremost to
Speaker 1: be a deciding factor in legal cases. There seems to
Speaker 1: be a flaw there somewhere. I can't quite put my
Speaker 1: finger on it. It seems like a bad road for
Speaker 1: somebody who is insane to head down himself. Maybe insane
Speaker 1: Dictator Trump should ask Schumer for advice on this second
Speaker 1: immediate problem. Even if this were valid, Biden is in
Speaker 1: fact on the record about these pardons, signing them, and
Speaker 1: the need for them. No question that he intended to
Speaker 1: sign these, no question that he was going to sign these,
Speaker 1: no question that he intended to pardon these people. If
Speaker 1: you want to try to memory hole something, as in
Speaker 1: George Orwell's nineteen eighty four, you destroy the newspapers first,
Speaker 1: then announce it, not announce it, and then destroy all
Speaker 1: the old newspapers. Duh. Listen to the press secretary on this.
Speaker 1: If you've forgotten who she is this time, her name
Speaker 1: is Caroline Levitt, and she makes the previous ones look
Speaker 1: like a collection of Rhodes scholars.
Speaker 2: If the president was even consulted about his legally binding
Speaker 2: signature being signed onto documents, and so, I think it's
Speaker 2: a question that everybody in this room should be looking
Speaker 2: into because certainly that would propose perhaps criminal or illegal
Speaker 2: behavior if staff members were signing the President of the
Speaker 2: United States autograph without his consent. Is on the record
Speaker 2: talking about the issuing preemptive pardons to these people, But
Speaker 2: was he aware of his signature being used on every
Speaker 2: single pardon. That's a question you should ask the bout it.
Speaker 3: Is there any evidence on that he wasn't aware of it.
Speaker 2: You're a reporter, you should find out.
Speaker 1: A reminder that the press secretary to the President of
Speaker 1: the United States is intellectually about eleven years old. Why
Speaker 1: don't you go find out? Why don't you find out?
Speaker 1: How do you know the moon is not made of cheese?
Speaker 1: Which leads us to the third question. A president can
Speaker 1: invalidate the previous president's pardons in a tweet in a
Speaker 1: social media post, Caroline Levitt may have just set herself
Speaker 1: up to need a pardon because she just set herself
Speaker 1: up to be charged under a future president who is
Speaker 1: not friendly to Trump as part of a criminal conspiracy
Speaker 1: to willfully ignore federal court orders led by Trump and
Speaker 1: Marco Rubio and Pete Hegseeth and this gestapo like head
Speaker 1: of the Trump kidnapping squad, Tom Holman, who Monday said
Speaker 1: of these illegal and court stopped kidnappings and illegal extraditions,
Speaker 1: We're not stopping. I don't care what the judges think,
Speaker 1: I don't care what the left thinks. We're coming. This
Speaker 1: is a promise to continue to ignore legal and binding
Speaker 1: federal court decisions. It is an impeachable offense, and if repeated,
Speaker 1: it is a prosecutable offense, and Tom Holman would be
Speaker 1: at the top of the list, even further up than Trump.
Speaker 1: Levitt's responds to Tom Holman to join the list of
Speaker 1: those who could be arrested in a conspiracy.
Speaker 4: Son Fox and he was talking about the defortations, and
Speaker 4: he said the following. He said, we're not stopping. I
Speaker 4: don't care what the judges think, which seems.
Speaker 1: To me just reading.
Speaker 4: That that you don't care what orders come from the
Speaker 4: federal bench.
Speaker 1: Is that the case.
Speaker 4: Can you clarify that, please?
Speaker 2: Well, I think since you just quoted Tom, I'll quote Tom.
Speaker 2: He said, I don't care what the judges think, but
Speaker 2: I can't assure you that the administration is complying with
Speaker 2: the court order. And as I've said repeatedly from this podium,
Speaker 2: all of the flights that were subject to the judges
Speaker 2: written order departed before the written order, and we are
Speaker 2: prepared to make that case in court later this afternoon.
Speaker 1: So she's trying to wink at this, because of course
Speaker 1: none of that is true. Just because an airplane is
Speaker 1: aloft does not mean that the judge on the ground
Speaker 1: has no control over it. There are communications capacities with
Speaker 1: aircraft these days, even under this administration's FAA, you can
Speaker 1: get a hold of a pilot, even in international space
Speaker 1: on the other side of the world, and tell him
Speaker 1: to turn the f around. They are winking at this
Speaker 1: and trying to have it both ways, and it's going
Speaker 1: to wind up someday with an indictment not just of
Speaker 1: Tom Holman, not just of Marco Rubio, but of Caroline
Speaker 1: Levitt for joining in public this conspiracy. She's winking at this.
Speaker 1: It never dawned on Trump. Also, if President number, say
Speaker 1: forty seven, just to pick a number at random, can
Speaker 1: declare President number forty six's pardons void, vacant, and of
Speaker 1: no future force or effect, then President number forty eight
Speaker 1: can declare President number forty seven's pardons void, vacant, and
Speaker 1: of no future force or effect. Oh right, So, if
Speaker 1: you're Tom Holman, you just crapped your pants. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: why Trump used the word void. And if you are
Speaker 1: Mark go Rubio, who has already done enough just about
Speaker 1: this to need a pardon, you've just crapped your pants too,
Speaker 1: a familiar experience for Marco, I'm sure, and heg Seth
Speaker 1: has just crapped his pants, and Gabbard and Stephen Miller,
Speaker 1: and J. D. Vance and Pam Bondi and Russ Vote.
Speaker 1: Who am I leaving out? I mean, all of these
Speaker 1: people who are doing illegal things now, are doing these things,
Speaker 1: these illegal things, on the premise that no matter what happens,
Speaker 1: Trump will pardon them, or Trump's successor will pardon them.
Speaker 1: And what happens if those, according to Trump, pardons can
Speaker 1: be invalidated for any reason, There has never been a
Speaker 1: presidential pardon invalidated in the history of this country. That
Speaker 1: may be a bad thing, and it may change someday,
Speaker 1: but it's not going to be retroactive. And if it
Speaker 1: is retroactive, guess who's not going to get one. Rubio Holman,
Speaker 1: heg Seth Gabbard, Stephen Miller, Vance, Bondie, Russ Vote, everybody
Speaker 1: else in this administration. Oh yeah, all the ones He
Speaker 1: already gave pardons to, all the January sixth terrorists, Enrique
Speaker 1: Terrio and the ones in his administration, and Mike Flynn
Speaker 1: from the last administration. Roger Stone got a pardon, Paul Maniford,
Speaker 1: Denesh Desuza, Scooter Libby, Bernie Effing, Carrick, Charles Kushner, Steve Bannon,
Speaker 1: these people are all worried now. Susan B. Anthony got
Speaker 1: a pardon, and Pete Rose was the next one up.
Speaker 1: Somewhere Pete Rose is going well, there goes my bet
Speaker 1: on getting a pardon, And I keep thinking I was
Speaker 1: leaving somebody else and I couldn't remember who I was
Speaker 1: leaving out. In addition to all of these names, who
Speaker 1: else from this disastrous Trump nightmare would need a pardon
Speaker 1: that Trump just made impossible if his opinion on this
Speaker 1: is held valid. I couldn't couldn't remember who, And then
Speaker 1: I read something online Elon Musk. My companies make great
Speaker 1: products that people I love, and I've never physically hurt anyone,
Speaker 1: So why the hate and violence against me? All he's
Speaker 1: trying to do is make apartheid great again. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: the fact that he's illegally voided American aid worldwide and
Speaker 1: that has already led to deaths internationally and will likely
Speaker 1: lead to millions of more people dying because he decided
Speaker 1: to save money for rich people like him and was
Speaker 1: given illegal access to the computers to make that happen.
Speaker 1: That he's illegally accessed in the process, the private records
Speaker 1: of tens of millions of Americans. And if any of
Speaker 1: his companies had done that, the people involved in those
Speaker 1: companies and in those interactions with your private records, they
Speaker 1: would be facing criminal charges. That he retweeted a guy
Speaker 1: who said Hitler didn't commit the Holocaust, but his public
Speaker 1: sector employees did, when Musk himself has ide'd himself on
Speaker 1: his own side as ten support, which is by definition
Speaker 1: a public sector employee. No, Hitler did not commit the Holocaust.
Speaker 1: Public sector employees did. Like me. Now, he doesn't need
Speaker 1: a pardon. Elon Musk doesn't need a pardon. Elon Musk
Speaker 1: doesn't need the pardon system to work. No, he needs
Speaker 1: fifty pardons. Now if Trump is right, if he moves
Speaker 1: to prosecute Trump, that is, anybody from the January sixth
Speaker 1: Committee or anybody else who was pardoned by any previous president.
Speaker 1: Pardons are worthless, and Elon Musk under those circumstances would
Speaker 1: die in prison. But he'd get to see the rest
Speaker 1: of the current Trump administration there with him, would he
Speaker 1: It's not just that Trump is an insane dictator, it's
Speaker 1: that he's an insane idiot dictator. You or I, or
Speaker 1: maybe even Chuck Schumer would before issuing something that said
Speaker 1: that pardons are no longer permanent, would think, Hmmm, what
Speaker 1: does that mean for me? If I were to pardon
Speaker 1: myself and the next guy could simply undo it. But
Speaker 1: Trump isn't actually a human being, so he hasn't even
Speaker 1: had the foresight that a Chuck Schumer would. The rest
Speaker 1: of this bulletin podcast is Monday's regular edition in its entirety.
Speaker 1: If you've already heard that, feel free to hit stop now.
Speaker 1: If not, the first section of this is at least
Speaker 1: worth your time because this is about how practically today
Speaker 1: the Democrats can remove Chuck Schumer as Senate Minority leader.
Speaker 1: How do you unseat a Senate Democratic leader asking for
Speaker 1: a democracy? On the one hand, it is in possible.
Speaker 1: On the other hand, it could be done in about
Speaker 1: forty eight minutes. There is no process to force the
Speaker 1: Democrats to conduct a new Senate leadership vote, even though
Speaker 1: by one measure, Chuck Schumer would lose such a vote
Speaker 1: thirty seven to ten, which is what he lost the
Speaker 1: vote in his own party in his suicidal decision to
Speaker 1: enable Musk and Trump to proceed unchecked as they rape
Speaker 1: the government and the laws and the budget and the
Speaker 1: nation for the next six months. Democratic Party rules only
Speaker 1: mandate leadership elections with the start of each new Congress.
Speaker 1: The last one was December third, The one before that
Speaker 1: was December eighth, twenty twenty two. The next one would
Speaker 1: be the third, eighth, or tenth of December twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1: The only way there would be a new Democratic Party
Speaker 1: leadership election would be if Schumer resigned or is forced two.
Speaker 1: On the other hand, if the thirty six Democrats and
Speaker 1: the independent who broke with Schumer in this catastrophe were
Speaker 1: to simply form their own caucus and elect their own leader,
Speaker 1: just to pick a name at random, Chris Murphy of
Speaker 1: Connecticut Chuck Schumer would be minority leader in name only.
Speaker 1: The risk of this, of course, is a total fracture
Speaker 1: of the Democratic Party inside the Senate and out of it,
Speaker 1: and the prospect of an idiot like Fetterman or an
Speaker 1: invisible senator like Jillibrand actually caucusing with the Republicans. On
Speaker 1: the other hand, the only advantage of having forty seven
Speaker 1: non Trumpists instead of thirty six non Trumpists or thirty
Speaker 1: seven non Trumpists is that you could do things like
Speaker 1: stop Klotchure on the six month Musk Indemnification and Continuing
Speaker 1: Resolution bill, except your gutless, spineless, useless, clueless minority leader
Speaker 1: doesn't do that and instead collaborates with the party of
Speaker 1: the insane dictator. If he's not going to do ooz
Speaker 1: forty seven votes, what's the difference if he only has
Speaker 1: thirty seven votes or if his successor only has thirty
Speaker 1: seven votes. Here is the process as I understand it.
Speaker 1: Create the new Democrats or Democrats two point zero, or
Speaker 1: the new Zoo Review or the new Christy minstrels, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Just position them as the actual minority in the Senate.
Speaker 1: They have the second most votes. Point out to Schumer,
Speaker 1: he is now leader of the third party in the Senate,
Speaker 1: and if he does not resign as Democratic leader, you
Speaker 1: will not let him join your new caucus and you
Speaker 1: won't let the other losers in either. Senator Murphy, for one,
Speaker 1: is not leading this revolt, not any way at the moment.
Speaker 1: On NBC yesterday, do you think that Leader Schumer is
Speaker 1: the best person to lead your caucus in this moment,
Speaker 1: Senator Murphy, Senator Schumer certainly can lead this caucus, NBC,
Speaker 1: would you consider that role Murphy. I don't think anybody's
Speaker 1: having that conversation right now, right now, but the American
Speaker 1: people certainly aren't having that conversation right now. The Democratic
Speaker 1: Party certainly is having that conversation right The f now
Speaker 1: CNN poll yesterday, Democrats and Democratic leading Independence now say
Speaker 1: fifty seven to forty two percent that Democrats should mainly
Speaker 1: work to stop the Trump agenda, not work with the
Speaker 1: GOP just to get some of their own ideas into
Speaker 1: legislation fifty seven to forty two. The NBC poll asks
Speaker 1: the same question in a different way. Should Democrats stick
Speaker 1: to their positions, even if that risks sacrificing by partisan progress.
Speaker 1: The answer is yes, sixty five to thirty two. Eight
Speaker 1: years ago that poll came in No. Fifty nine to
Speaker 1: thirty three. It went from thirty three fifty nine to
Speaker 1: sixty five thirty two. And these new polls, these landslides,
Speaker 1: these are before what Schumer did last Friday. God knows
Speaker 1: how bad these numbers are now, but whatever they are,
Speaker 1: they actually add up to just one thing. Chuck Schumer
Speaker 1: is done if the Democratic Senators want him done, or
Speaker 1: if the Democratic Party explains to them that Schumer is done.
Speaker 1: If they explain this in public loudly immediately. Discretion is
Speaker 1: the better part of valor, or at least fear is
Speaker 1: the better part of valor. And all day yesterday I
Speaker 1: kept waiting to hear that the start of Chuck Schumer's
Speaker 1: book tour tonight in Baltimore had been postponed or canceled
Speaker 1: where he had laryngitis, where they had forgotten to ship
Speaker 1: the books, or print the books, or write the books.
Speaker 1: But if Schumer could actually make a career ending and
Speaker 1: maybe a democracy ending decision like he did on the
Speaker 1: Musk Indemnification and Continuing Resolution Bill, why wouldn't he be
Speaker 1: stupid enough to walk out at the Central Library in
Speaker 1: Baltimore tonight so he can get booed off the stage.
Speaker 1: Some people one day just run out of smart. Chuck
Speaker 1: Schumer Live tonight in Baltimore, Live at Politics and Pros
Speaker 1: at sixth and I in DC, Wednesday night, live at
Speaker 1: the Weitzman Museum in DC, Thursday afternoon, live at the
Speaker 1: Moss Theater in Santa Monica Sunday. Or this event has
Speaker 1: been unexpectedly canceled, there will be no Chuck Schumer and
Speaker 1: there will be no refunds. I hope now three days
Speaker 1: after they each lit themselves on fire, only to discover
Speaker 1: it just wasn't enough for insane Dictator Trump. I hope
Speaker 1: soon to be former leader one way or the other.
Speaker 1: Schumer and Senators Fetterman and Jillibrand and the others who
Speaker 1: sold out the democracy and more immediately their colleagues in
Speaker 1: the House. And I hope the executives at MSNBC who
Speaker 1: remember fired or demoted all the hosts of Color, and
Speaker 1: the executives at CNN who thought they could hold insane
Speaker 1: Dictator Trump at bay. I hope they have all understood
Speaker 1: where we are, and in particular where they are here
Speaker 1: is where we are. Donald Trump is insane. There is
Speaker 1: only one path through his insanity towards restoring America as
Speaker 1: a democracy, as a nation independent of Putin, as a
Speaker 1: place not to be ashamed of. It is to destroy
Speaker 1: Trump's presidency. Destroy his presidency. Nothing else will stop him.
Speaker 1: His last remaining human emotion is vengeance, and nothing you do,
Speaker 1: no matter how horrish, pandering, obvious, remorseful, no matter how
Speaker 1: much money or ky jelly covered praise it contains, will
Speaker 1: register with him. He wants to destroy you. He wants
Speaker 1: to destroy the country, but he wants Schumer, MSNBC, CNN,
Speaker 1: he wants to destroy you guys first.
Speaker 5: And I believe that CNN and MSDNC, who literally write
Speaker 5: ninety seven point six percent bad about mere political arms
Speaker 5: of the Democrat Party, And in my opinion, they're really
Speaker 5: corrupt and they're illegal.
Speaker 3: What they do is illegal.
Speaker 1: So hey, CNN, how's uh letting that pimp Scott Jennings
Speaker 1: take over prime time? Working out for you? Insane dictator?
Speaker 1: Trump basically told the d Friday Afternoon arrest CNN, good thing,
Speaker 1: Tapper and Bash that you didn't fact check him in
Speaker 1: the debate last year. Backstage at the DOJ, Trump probably
Speaker 1: mentioned the two of you by name. I'd rather have
Speaker 1: a questioning audience, said CNN's Chris Licked two point zero.
Speaker 1: He's British. His name is Mark Thompson at an event
Speaker 1: on trust in the media on the first of this month.
Speaker 1: I think we should draw our eyes about the loss
Speaker 1: of traditional trust. Congratulations, Lord Thompson, you have succeeded. Now.
Speaker 1: Nobody trusts CNN, not your former audience, not others in
Speaker 1: news media, and obviously not Trump and his terrorists. Cell. Actually,
Speaker 1: I take that last part back all of us, Trump included,
Speaker 1: can trust CNN to do the wrong thing. And as
Speaker 1: to Schumer, I really wonder if he will be stupid
Speaker 1: enough to go out in public tonight or on the
Speaker 1: rest of his tour, because a man in his position
Speaker 1: can be that stupid can convince themselves. They won't protest me.
Speaker 1: I'm the leader of the party in the Senate. He
Speaker 1: can convince themselves. This is just an extreme version of
Speaker 1: traditional politics that Trump is enacting, and not a slow
Speaker 1: motion replay of January sixth, only with the brute force
Speaker 1: added of law enforcement and bureaucracy. People like Schumer can
Speaker 1: convince themselves. People may be mad at him, or they
Speaker 1: were mad at him last week, but they're not that
Speaker 1: mad and they're certainly not that mad at him this week. Chuck,
Speaker 1: we are that mad at you. I don't think you
Speaker 1: should resign as Senate Democratic leader. I think you should
Speaker 1: resign from the Senate and Jillibrand with you. This is war.
Speaker 1: It is a non shooting war. God help us, maybe
Speaker 1: only for now. And Schumer is clueless, weak, selfish, arrogant,
Speaker 1: and worst of all, myopic to try to finesse his
Speaker 1: criminally incorrect vote on this to hide the intention of
Speaker 1: his vote to be General George B. McClellan. When we
Speaker 1: need General ulysses, ask goddamned grant and to sell out
Speaker 1: the House Democrats. It's unforgivable. It is literally unforgivable. There
Speaker 1: is no path back for Chuck Schumer. Enoch Powell's Central Library,
Speaker 1: four hundred Cathedral Street, Baltimore, Maryland, seven pm. Be there, Aloha?
Speaker 1: And what did Chuck Schumer get out of this? What
Speaker 1: can be carved on his political tombstone? He ended his
Speaker 1: career pleasing Trump. Congratulations to Chuck Schumer for doing the
Speaker 1: right thing. Took quote guts unquote and courage the big
Speaker 1: tax cuts, LA firefix, debt ceiling billin. So much more
Speaker 1: is coming. We should all work together on that very
Speaker 1: dangerous situation. A non pass would be a country destroyer.
Speaker 1: Approval will lead us to new heights again, really good
Speaker 1: and smart move by Senator Schumer. This could lead to
Speaker 1: something big for the USA, a whole new direction and
Speaker 1: beginning exclamation point? Does it worry you at all? Chuck?
Speaker 5: That?
Speaker 1: Twenty four hours after that statement, insane, Dictator Trump's lawyers
Speaker 1: told a federal court he has an inherent right under
Speaker 1: Article two to deport anybody immigrant or otherwise on what
Speaker 1: he and he alone says, our national security grounds. And
Speaker 1: does it worry you, Chuck that twelve hours before he
Speaker 1: praised you for doing the right thing. Twelve hours before that,
Speaker 1: Donald Trump decided you are no longer Jewish, and.
Speaker 5: Schumer is about as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1: You know, he's become a Palestinian.
Speaker 5: He is to be Jewish.
Speaker 2: He's not Jewish anymore.
Speaker 3: He's a Palestinian.
Speaker 1: Okay, ah, yeah, but he's never gonna do something like
Speaker 1: that again, not as long as he thinks he owns
Speaker 1: you because you did something he desperately needed you to do,
Speaker 1: and you were the only one who could do it,
Speaker 1: and so now he might as well own you or
Speaker 1: I don't know, sport you. You know what you do
Speaker 1: when somebody says that about you, Chuck, You ask for
Speaker 1: a meeting with him, a photo op, and when the
Speaker 1: cameras are all rolling, then you kick him in the
Speaker 1: balls and you take the consequences. You don't make a
Speaker 1: deal with him the next day, selling out the people
Speaker 1: who put you in office. Politicos sometimes uses anonymous sources irresponsibly,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure that's the case here. They often
Speaker 1: also look through the wrong end of the telescope, and
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that's the case here either. Quote. One
Speaker 1: Democratic senator granted anonymity to share private discussions, said, conversations
Speaker 1: are starting about whether Schumer should be their leader going forward.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of concern about the failure to have
Speaker 1: a plan and execute on it. The senator said. It's
Speaker 1: not like you couldn't figure out that this is what
Speaker 1: was going to happen behind closed doors. Even some longtime
Speaker 1: Schumer allies are raising the specter that his time has passed. Quote.
Speaker 1: Biden is gone, Pelosi is in the background. Schumer is
Speaker 1: the last one left from that older generation, said one
Speaker 1: New York based donor who is a longtime supporter of
Speaker 1: a leader. I do worry that the older generation thinks
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four was just about inflation. But no, the
Speaker 1: game has changed. It's not left wing or moderate, it's
Speaker 1: everyone now saying the game is different now. But he
Speaker 1: was set up to battle in two thousand and six,
Speaker 1: and we're a long way from two thousand and six. Or,
Speaker 1: as the Hollywood writer director Mike Saminek wrote much more succinctly,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say the Schumer optics are bad,
Speaker 1: but Gavin Newsom just invited him on his podcast. There
Speaker 1: are two other polling notes from those polls yesterday. The
Speaker 1: CNN one asked Democrats to pick the leader who quote
Speaker 1: best reflects the core values of the party. AOC is
Speaker 1: at the top at ten percent, Kamala at nine, Bernie
Speaker 1: at eight, a King Jeffreys at six, Jasmine Crockett at four,
Speaker 1: Obama at four. Oh yeah, Obama, Remember Obama. I'm sure
Speaker 1: he'll be dropping a protest playlist any day, soon after
Speaker 1: he does his hoops bracket. Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is
Speaker 1: at two percent. No One the choice No One is
Speaker 1: at thirty percent. AOC has five times Schumer's support. No
Speaker 1: One has fifteen times Schumer's support, and Schumer at two percent,
Speaker 1: is tied with Elissa Slotkin. The other poll, Trump's favorability
Speaker 1: among all voters is already four points underwater and twelve
Speaker 1: underwater on the economy. I mean, how do you f
Speaker 1: this up in both directions, Chuck? Just as Trump begins
Speaker 1: to drown on the economy, and just as Elon Musk
Speaker 1: was retweeting somebody who wrote Stalin Mao and Hitler didn't
Speaker 1: murder millions of people, their public sector workers did. And
Speaker 1: even in the White House, Musk was seen to be imploding.
Speaker 1: And then in response to that imploding, the White House
Speaker 1: itself managed to implode and attack the racist Musk by
Speaker 1: going even more racist than him. Musk blithely tells Cudlow
Speaker 1: Scotchy Scotchy scotch on Fox Business about cutting entitlements. In
Speaker 1: her Red Letter newsletter, Tara Palmery writes, even though Trump's
Speaker 1: staffers are terrified of Musk, they know that if you
Speaker 1: try to cut Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, you die.
Speaker 1: Politically speaking, quote, it's no longer simmering resistance. People are
Speaker 1: effing furious. Set a source with knowledge of the situation,
Speaker 1: and then comes the the coup to lack of grass.
Speaker 1: Quote Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
Speaker 1: These are our voters, unquote, set a Republican operative close
Speaker 1: to the White House. How is that not the quote
Speaker 1: on the lips of every Democrat in this country today?
Speaker 1: Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto,
Speaker 1: said a Republican operative close to the White House. These
Speaker 1: are our voters. How is it not the quote on
Speaker 1: every Democrat's lip today two words Chuck Schumer, or maybe
Speaker 1: the quote from that little torp Marco Rubio, who, like Schumer,
Speaker 1: actually thought he could bargain with Trump and instead wound
Speaker 1: up having to be the front man for the first
Speaker 1: assault on freedom of speech and extra legal extraditions, and
Speaker 1: now having to expel the duly appointed South African ambassador
Speaker 1: to the United States because Elon wants to make apartheid
Speaker 1: great again. Rubio had to call South Africa's ambassador Rasoul
Speaker 1: quote a race baiting politician who hates America, who is
Speaker 1: no longer welcome here, because Rasoul gave a speech Friday
Speaker 1: in which he said Trump was quote mobilizing white supremacy
Speaker 1: in the US and abroad as well. So what's your
Speaker 1: complain about that, little Marco? Trump is mobilizing white supremacy
Speaker 1: in the US, and so is Musk, and so Marco,
Speaker 1: are you you complicit? Little shit? And by the way,
Speaker 1: a race baiting politician who hates America and is no
Speaker 1: longer welcome here, Marco, since that also describes Trump, does
Speaker 1: this mean you're going to expel Trump? Because somebody is
Speaker 1: damn well gonna have to also of interest here, I'm
Speaker 1: under the weather, so this will be kind of short today.
Speaker 1: But the worst Person's list is the never ending feast.
Speaker 1: And as the world collapses and Trump openly ignores the
Speaker 1: courts and starts deporting people illegally. Yesterday, guess what the
Speaker 1: lead story was at Politico. The tone of a DC
Speaker 1: dinner for reporters, the tone I swear to God, ah,
Speaker 1: there's nothing fatally wrong with our media political industrial complex.
Speaker 1: Now that's next Ursless countdown. This is countdown with Keith
Speaker 1: Olberman still ahead on countdown. When I'm sick, I always
Speaker 1: think of my craziest visit to the doctor ever. I
Speaker 1: was twenty one ish and the somewhat surprise outcome. So
Speaker 1: my face stuck to the side of the train and
Speaker 1: they had to help me break free from the window,
Speaker 1: like that's never happened to you first, believe it or not.
Speaker 1: There's still more new idiots to talk about. The daily
Speaker 1: roundup of the misgrants, morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens
Speaker 1: who constitute today's other worst persons.
Speaker 3: In the world.
Speaker 1: Here are the nominees the Bronze Worse Poletiko. I know
Speaker 1: I praised them earlier, like Trump, this only lasts three
Speaker 1: to four minutes. That's as much time as it's going
Speaker 1: to buy you. Illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up
Speaker 1: because they were born somewhere else and were a told
Speaker 1: JA I was sick. I'm going to leave that in
Speaker 1: for evidence, illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up because no,
Speaker 1: I really did leave that in because they were born
Speaker 1: somewhere else and we're returning to the country. Elon Musk
Speaker 1: still eluding the much needed tranquilizing Dart Schumer imploding, and
Speaker 1: the lead item in Sunday's Politico Playbook newsletter The grid
Speaker 1: Iron Dinner Saturday Night in Washington. The grid Iron Dinner,
Speaker 1: despite the name, that's a journalism event. And to be fair,
Speaker 1: Politico is about Washington and about journalism about Washington. And
Speaker 1: I know that's not always evident from what they write,
Speaker 1: especially with the drama constantly surrounding the people who work
Speaker 1: there and the new fascist owners from Europe. But do
Speaker 1: you think once, just once, you could lead with the
Speaker 1: you know, earth shattering news like if Schumer is going
Speaker 1: to be deposed, or if there are planes full of
Speaker 1: people who have a legal right to be here, who
Speaker 1: have been illegally deported by the insane dictator of the
Speaker 1: United States, instead of a few words about the effing
Speaker 1: Gridirn dinner, twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron dinner,
Speaker 1: the first twenty six paragraphs of your newsletter scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.
Speaker 1: I'll get to the news somewhere, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Polit
Speaker 1: ago twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron dinner and
Speaker 1: how they didn't toast the president. I will confess I
Speaker 1: am sufficiently under the weather that when I first read
Speaker 1: they toasted the president, my mood cheered briefly, where's the
Speaker 1: photo of that? Holy crap. I also realized that for
Speaker 1: a couple of years I have been mistakenly telling people
Speaker 1: that it was at the grid Iron dinner that Dick
Speaker 1: Cheney as Vice president made that joke about me that
Speaker 1: I still love. It wasn't at the grid Iron dinner.
Speaker 1: It was at the radio and TV correspondence dinner. And yes,
Speaker 1: if it's a Saturday, there is another Journalisimalism dinner in DC.
Speaker 1: Since you asked, I'll just well, I was going to
Speaker 1: read the way ad we covered it, but you know
Speaker 1: the clip is on YouTube, so in case you.
Speaker 3: Don't know it Moe's blog is titled Moe Rock of
Speaker 3: one to eighty only half as tedious as the regular News.
Speaker 3: Among his other credits, Moe used to host a TV
Speaker 3: show called Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've
Speaker 3: seen that program only I believe it's now called Countdown
Speaker 3: with Keith Overman. Keith not here tonight to savor my company,
Speaker 3: but we roared. I'm Jack Turnian.
Speaker 1: There's a joke about Kreith Olderman. Anyway. The point of
Speaker 1: this was the first twenty six paragraphs on a dinner
Speaker 1: like that, about jokes like that. The first twenty six man,
Speaker 1: not the like six paragraphs of headlines, and then twenty
Speaker 1: six paragraphs about the Gridiron dinner, but the first twenty
Speaker 1: six paragraphs underscoring this fact. The night they finally kidnap
Speaker 1: all the reporters off the streets, the last thing every
Speaker 1: Washington correspondent will file is a piece about what their
Speaker 1: friends were wearing at the time they were disappeared. The
Speaker 1: runner up worser Alena Haba official administration nit wit. I've
Speaker 1: said it so many times, you can say it with me.
Speaker 1: The future and survival of democracy depends less on our
Speaker 1: strenuous efforts to preserve it than it does on the
Speaker 1: stupidity of those who intend to destroy it. That is
Speaker 1: being tested now. But as long as we have the
Speaker 1: Secretary of knit wittedness, Alina Habba, I believe we will
Speaker 1: prevail after we get rid of Schumerlenahaha, responding to something
Speaker 1: or another about about the attempts to stop human extortion
Speaker 1: and trafficking. And I don't know if they were claiming.
Speaker 1: I don't know who they're claiming the Pope is a trap.
Speaker 1: I don't know who they were claiming there was a trafficker.
Speaker 1: And Alena Habba writes, thank you, let's pray for the
Speaker 1: many victims of human extortion as a result of the
Speaker 1: last administration's neglect and failures. And then the prayer emoji
Speaker 1: and this note, this community note. Alna Habba supported the
Speaker 1: Tate brothers who are under investigation for human trafficking. There's
Speaker 1: a reason you go into parking lot law, and that's
Speaker 1: because it's a challenge to you. I wanted to stretch
Speaker 1: my mind. It went entirely one inch wide. But the
Speaker 1: winner is the worst. Marco Rubio and naib Buclei, Kelly.
Speaker 1: As you know, a federal court blocked the illegal deportation
Speaker 1: of Venezuelans by the insane dictator to a concentration camp
Speaker 1: in a third party country. El Salvador planes were in
Speaker 1: the air already, and so the administration decided not to
Speaker 1: turn the planes around and announced it was not defying
Speaker 1: the court, and announced it was defying the court. Marco Rubio,
Speaker 1: the Little Shit Secretary of Little Shit, boasted about it,
Speaker 1: and the President of Al Salvador, it's just a brand name.
Speaker 1: There's not really a president, like we don't really have
Speaker 1: a president, we have an insane dictator. Naib Bukel, president
Speaker 1: of Al Salvador, screen shoted the headline from the New
Speaker 1: York Post about the judge blocking Trump from invoking the
Speaker 1: Alien Enemies Act, and President Bukel added quote oopsie too
Speaker 1: late and added the crying laughing emoji because somewhere along
Speaker 1: the line emoji became fascist. That's president asshole of l Salvador. Yeah,
Speaker 1: keep laughing, see you at the World Court at the Hague,
Speaker 1: buddy in twenty twenty nine, unless your own people take
Speaker 1: care of their problem. Five years ago, this alleged president
Speaker 1: wanted approval from the Salvadoran Legislative Assembly for a one
Speaker 1: hundred and nine million dollar loan for his Territorial Control Plan.
Speaker 1: So to deliver the message, President Bukake or whatever his
Speaker 1: name is, set forty soldiers over to the Legislative Assembly
Speaker 1: to say hell. In twenty nineteen, President Bukela introduced that plan,
Speaker 1: the Territorial Control Plan, to reduce the homicide rate. It
Speaker 1: was reduced only actor alleged the US Department of State
Speaker 1: bu Kela negotiated with the gangs in El Salvador to
Speaker 1: reduce the homicide rate. Hey, do me a solid kill
Speaker 1: fewer people, Okay? And you know who alleged that with
Speaker 1: the State Department under which presid is it alleged he
Speaker 1: did that, Trump's State Department. But now Trump's newhore at
Speaker 1: the State Department. Marco's he's Besti's with this guy, Marco
Speaker 1: Rubio and alleged President Bucelly of Al Salvador. What happened
Speaker 1: to that guy to Turte from the Philippines again? Oh
Speaker 1: oh boy, two days worst persons. I can't hit this
Speaker 1: high note in the world. Shoe the number one story
Speaker 1: on the countdown and things I promised not to tell.
Speaker 1: And this is anything but an important career story. But
Speaker 1: I was reminded of it recently, and I laughed like hell,
Speaker 1: so I thought, maybe you should too. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: all of them in this country, but to my mind,
Speaker 1: the most underrated of American rivers is the one I
Speaker 1: grew up along. The Hudson gets a bad rad because
Speaker 1: it's associated with New York City and the deteriorating remnants
Speaker 1: of the city's once dominant piers, some of which have
Speaker 1: been unused and rotting for half a century now. But
Speaker 1: further upstate, literally just past the city line, the Hudson
Speaker 1: is a magnificent river just to watch, never mind ride on.
Speaker 1: This is particularly true during a stretch in which the
Speaker 1: western side of the river is fronted by a series
Speaker 1: of sheer cliffs called the Palisades, brownish black and striated,
Speaker 1: carved as the river took shape millions of years ago,
Speaker 1: but always looking like they had been carefully designed for
Speaker 1: esthetic effect. Unfortunately, they are best seen from the commuter
Speaker 1: railroad that runs along the Hudson into Westchester County, New York,
Speaker 1: instead of a series of parks or even private palaces.
Speaker 1: Our forefathers had the presence of mind to build factories
Speaker 1: and copper processing plants and other nightmares right on the
Speaker 1: Hudson because of the obvious transportation benefits the Hudson provided,
Speaker 1: and so the train tracks were laid out next to
Speaker 1: the river because that made it even easier to get
Speaker 1: stuff to and from the big city. And damn the
Speaker 1: views or the ability to appreciate life on the water
Speaker 1: or the pollution. Still, if you ever find yourself now
Speaker 1: taking a train from Grand Central Station into the western
Speaker 1: half of Westchester, get a window seat on the left
Speaker 1: side of the trainer. Better yet, when you come back
Speaker 1: into New York City, sit on the right side, on
Speaker 1: the river side, and you will get fifteen minutes or
Speaker 1: more of the most magnificent view imaginable out the big windows. Winter's, spring, summer,
Speaker 1: or fall. The palisades provide the Hudson with a magnificent
Speaker 1: frame that's almost like a miniature Grand Canyon. I remember
Speaker 1: thinking of all this that one day, early in nineteen
Speaker 1: eighty I was finally feeling a little better, thanks to
Speaker 1: doctor Cecilini. Doctor Cecilini had been my physician since I
Speaker 1: was a boy, and he was the school doctor, and
Speaker 1: he'd been the town doctor since about teen forty four,
Speaker 1: and he always name dropped other patients I'd never heard of.
Speaker 1: And as I finished my last growth spurt at the
Speaker 1: end of my twentieth year, I had frequent back pain,
Speaker 1: no fun at all, and sleeping on the floor helped
Speaker 1: a little, but not enough. And finally Cecilini, who had
Speaker 1: been a hospital doctor during World War Two and had
Speaker 1: seen everything, said hey, just get this prescription filled. Take
Speaker 1: one on them every day for the next week. It's
Speaker 1: called a muscle relaxing. This will loosen up your back,
Speaker 1: always lessen the pain. Well, bet, just don't you know,
Speaker 1: don't operate any heavy machinery. Do you operate heavy machinery
Speaker 1: when you do those sportscasts? Yars Keith had a patient
Speaker 1: try to run a processor at the copper factory while
Speaker 1: he took this nineteen fifty seven, we lost three fingers.
Speaker 1: Leonardo ben Venuti, you know any of the ben Venuties
Speaker 1: used to live on Williams Street. I laughed, this was
Speaker 1: him every time, the ben Venuti's on william Street, the
Speaker 1: Smiths on Williams Street, the Williams on Smith Street. Anyway,
Speaker 1: back to the muscle relaxance. I don't think I had
Speaker 1: ever heard of them before, let alone taken one. I
Speaker 1: took my barking back to the pharmacy in my hometown
Speaker 1: of Hastings On Hudson, New York. I got the prescription filled.
Speaker 1: I bought a soda at the pizza parlor across the street,
Speaker 1: and I ambled down the tiny village's picturesque business district.
Speaker 1: It's three blocks long, past the statue our old neighbor,
Speaker 1: Jacques Lipshits donated, and the ultra modern library, and right
Speaker 1: into the train station. It was January. It was about
Speaker 1: twelve degrees and as I waited for the train to
Speaker 1: make its forty minute trip into the city and my
Speaker 1: job as a sportscaster for the radio network of United
Speaker 1: pres International, I took the pill what were they called again,
Speaker 1: muscle muscle relaxance that doctor C had given me and
Speaker 1: given his other patient, Rico Rendazzo Or was that some
Speaker 1: guy he mentioned in nineteen sixty six to me. I
Speaker 1: worked the night shift at UPI, so the train was
Speaker 1: almost always empty, and thus I almost always had my
Speaker 1: choice of window seats. Midday and midwinter combined to make
Speaker 1: the sun glisten with extra sparkle off the magnificent Hudson,
Speaker 1: and the sun's angle was such that the palisades behind
Speaker 1: them gleamed brightly as well. And I was thinking about
Speaker 1: just how gorgeous they were, and how underrated the Hudson was,
Speaker 1: and and and I felt myself drifting away. I felt
Speaker 1: two hands, one on each shoulder, shaking me violently. Hey buddy, hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: hey buddy. I fought to open my eyes and to
Speaker 1: avoid the bad breath now enveloping my face. As I
Speaker 1: finally came around, I realized it was the conductor who
Speaker 1: had just taken my ticket. The train wasn't moving. In fact,
Speaker 1: only half of the lights were on in the train.
Speaker 1: The palisades were long gone, not the Hudson nor the Palisades,
Speaker 1: but darkness came in through the windows. I was completely confused.
Speaker 1: Am I'd shake it off. You gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1: This is as far as we go. Train's going out
Speaker 1: of service. You don't get off now, you'll be parked
Speaker 1: under thirty seventh straight for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1: Through my fog and my haze, I finally began to
Speaker 1: understand what had happened and where I was. And I
Speaker 1: began to try to stand when a horrifying awareness overtook me.
Speaker 1: I could not move the right side of my face.
Speaker 1: What was worse, I could barely feel the right side
Speaker 1: of my face. Good God, what had happened to me?
Speaker 1: Was this? Like that haunting episode of Alfred Hitchcock where
Speaker 1: the woman is struggling to wake up and remember the
Speaker 1: details of the accident out on San Francisco Bay the
Speaker 1: night before, Only as it finally comes back to her,
Speaker 1: it turns out the accident had drowned her boyfriend. And
Speaker 1: the reason it was so difficult to remember was, as
Speaker 1: she realized only when she got up and saw her
Speaker 1: reflection in a mirror, that the accident hadn't happened last night,
Speaker 1: but it had happened in nineteen oh five, and she'd
Speaker 1: been in an insane asylum for half a century. Was
Speaker 1: that what had happened to me?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Actually, as I discovered when my struggle finally freed my
Speaker 1: face from the train window to which it had stuck,
Speaker 1: because I had drooled for like thirty five consecutive minutes,
Speaker 1: because I had taken the muscle relaxing, because I had
Speaker 1: taken an honest empty stomach, because I knew nothing about
Speaker 1: muscle relaxance, because I was out cold with my mouth open,
Speaker 1: pressed up against the train window on a twelve degree day,
Speaker 1: and I had gotten frozen to the glass. Look, it
Speaker 1: was not quite half a century in an insane asylum,
Speaker 1: but certainly more embarrassing. It seemed like it took me
Speaker 1: half a century to pull all of this together. I
Speaker 1: stood up wobbly. I apologized to the conductor, and I
Speaker 1: mumbled back pain new drug. And as I banked from
Speaker 1: one side of the doorway to the other and bounced
Speaker 1: out onto the platform, the conductor shouted after me, only
Speaker 1: take him at night. Huh that little saga? Yeah, Doc,
Speaker 1: my back is better, but I left half the skin
Speaker 1: on my right cheek frozen into the one twenty from
Speaker 1: Hastings to Grand Central. He'd probably say, yeah, that happened
Speaker 1: to another patient of mine, Carlo John Lombardo. That reminded
Speaker 1: me of a much later story from doctor Cecilini, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave the wrong impression here. Edward
Speaker 1: Cecilini was a terrific doctor. He practiced into his nineties.
Speaker 1: He used to tell me to come visit him at
Speaker 1: his practice in his home on Farragut Parkway anytime I
Speaker 1: was up from the city visiting my folks. Well, Josh,
Speaker 1: shoot the phrase, and he'd tell me about something about
Speaker 1: treating Umberto Flambini in the Army hospital in nineteen forty four,
Speaker 1: and he'd asked me if I went to school with
Speaker 1: Marco Bartolini and then say he had to go. He
Speaker 1: was taking a course over at Sony Purchase about the
Speaker 1: latest computer aided diagnostic till the man was ninety years old.
Speaker 1: He never stopped learning, great man, and did he howl
Speaker 1: at the muscle relaxing start. Sorry, sorry, I didn't warn you.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I just take him at night. I had
Speaker 1: another patient through that nineteen seventeen. It's just all right anyway.
Speaker 1: Now it's nineteen ninety five and I'm working at ESPN,
Speaker 1: and I'm supposed to fly to Vancouver to do a
Speaker 1: cameo in an Adam Sandler golf movie, which I suppose
Speaker 1: was Happy Gilmour. And I didn't want to try to
Speaker 1: fly to Chicago and then change for Vancouver after going
Speaker 1: the two hours from the middle of Connecticut to JFK.
Speaker 1: So I came in to my folks house the day
Speaker 1: before I took the folks out to dinner. I stayed
Speaker 1: over in the spare room to leave from their house
Speaker 1: to the airport in the morning, and at some point
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, I began to have
Speaker 1: chest pains. Literally the top of my ribs hurt, and
Speaker 1: my breathing was constricted, and I couldn't get back to sleep.
Speaker 1: And now I'm thinking, I don't know what's wrong, but
Speaker 1: something is wrong. So I canceled the trip and I
Speaker 1: head up to doctor Cecilmini as soon as he's opened
Speaker 1: up shop, and he's eighty five now, and he gives
Speaker 1: me the big welcome as usual, and I tell him
Speaker 1: this story and he says, oh, yeah, I've tried to
Speaker 1: think it notting to worry about, but we we should
Speaker 1: get this on the record, just in case your movie
Speaker 1: company gets pissy with you about canceling dad. Happened to
Speaker 1: another friend of mine, patient Francesco Lulla Bridget. He had
Speaker 1: a cameo and Moby Dick in nineteen fifty six. He
Speaker 1: had cancel He wanted it soon. How about you get
Speaker 1: your dad just drive you up to the hospital, Dobbs Ferry,
Speaker 1: I meet you there and oh like half an hour,
Speaker 1: hour and a half something like that. Let me just
Speaker 1: run a couple of tests on you. When we got
Speaker 1: you out. There's no rush whatsoever. What's ther now? He
Speaker 1: stares off in his space for a second, and he
Speaker 1: looks back at me. He says, I got a I
Speaker 1: got an idea A little simpler. I have to go
Speaker 1: there later up to drop off some paperwork on some
Speaker 1: other guy, Frisco Gaspouci no Frisco. Anyway, Just give me
Speaker 1: a second. I'll call him. I'll tell him what's coming up.
Speaker 1: I just you just hop in the car with me
Speaker 1: and go out in the waiting room, cause I'm gonna
Speaker 1: call him about Frisco. And I got to worry about
Speaker 1: doctor patient confidentiality, but about Frisco gospooci sa. You know,
Speaker 1: I gotta worry about that. So I don't want you
Speaker 1: listening to this. So now Ed Cecilini is driving me
Speaker 1: to Dobbs Ferry Hospital, and I'm thinking about how much
Speaker 1: he defines the idea of a really dedicated doctor, and
Speaker 1: how every other patient he's ever mentioned to me, I've
Speaker 1: never heard of one of them. And we get to
Speaker 1: the hospital, I don't know. We talked about baseball or
Speaker 1: my folks or something, and he drives right up to
Speaker 1: the er and we walk in like it's nothing, and
Speaker 1: he waves to the admitting nurse. Hi, Sheila, how's your son, Shila?
Speaker 1: And he points at me. He says, that's the guy,
Speaker 1: and he says, like it was absolutely the way they
Speaker 1: do it at every hospital. You can go all his
Speaker 1: info from him. After we run this little check on,
Speaker 1: all right, and we go right into the room and
Speaker 1: two nurses are in there and they say hi, and
Speaker 1: one of them tells me to take off my shirt.
Speaker 1: The other starts shaving places on my chest, and before
Speaker 1: I know what's happening, I've got electrodes on me and
Speaker 1: they're hooking me up to an EKG and they're drawing blood.
Speaker 1: In Cecellini reads the start of the EKJ print out
Speaker 1: and he smiles at me. He says, I'm sorry I
Speaker 1: scammed you, but the way you described your chest pains,
Speaker 1: I thought it was fifty to fifty. He had a
Speaker 1: heart attack. Last thing I want to do is tell
Speaker 1: you that just in case you had had a heart
Speaker 1: attack and then you had another that happened to another
Speaker 1: patient of mine, Bernardo Petro Sante. You know Bernardo, Oh,
Speaker 1: let me only know this. Ah, you're fine. I'd let
Speaker 1: me just wait on the blood gases, double check that
Speaker 1: go out there and do the paperwork for shill at
Speaker 1: the desk. Guy, I think it's just a muscle problem.
Speaker 1: The son of a gun had not only made sure
Speaker 1: I didn't know it might be serious, it might be
Speaker 1: heart attacks serious, but he conned me into going to
Speaker 1: the emergency room without alarming me or even letting me
Speaker 1: know that was his plan along. And as I'm brushing
Speaker 1: the shaved hairs off my chest and putting my shirt on,
Speaker 1: I say thanks, and then it hits me, Hey, another thing,
Speaker 1: Doc Bernardo Pietro Sante and Umberto Flambini, and all these
Speaker 1: other patients you've mentioned all these years. They don't really exist,
Speaker 1: do they? And he says, oh, got me about that.
Speaker 1: I learned a long time ago. Make sure your patient
Speaker 1: never feels like they're the first idiot to have done
Speaker 1: this to themselves. Come on, I'll give you a lift
Speaker 1: back to your folks. Might look in and see how
Speaker 1: your dad's doing if he's gotten moment, I've done all
Speaker 1: the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Once again, my apologies for the relative brevity. Not feeling
Speaker 1: that great, but you'd never know it from my performance
Speaker 1: here today. And you know why that is because I'm
Speaker 1: tough also because you can edit out all the bad stuff.
Speaker 1: Brian Ray and John Phillip Shanel, the musical directors, have
Speaker 1: Countdown Arrange, produced and performed most of our music, and
Speaker 1: still I'd rather go alive. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards.
Speaker 1: Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It
Speaker 1: was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical
Speaker 1: comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust.
Speaker 1: The sports music is the old theme from ESPN two,
Speaker 1: written by Mitch Warren Davis and Curtesy of ESPN Inc.
Speaker 1: Other music arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed. My
Speaker 1: announcer today is my friend Kenny Main, who does not
Speaker 1: appear curtisyvsp Inc. Everything else was, as ever my fault.
Speaker 1: That's countdown for today, Just four hundred and six days
Speaker 1: until the scheduled end of his lane duck lame brained dictatorship,
Speaker 1: unless Musk removes him sooner or the actuarial tables due.
Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Again, We'll see as
Speaker 1: always bulletins as the news warrants. Remember impeach Trump. Impeach
Speaker 1: Trump won't work now, but it will win the Democrats
Speaker 1: the mid terms if there are midterms, and there is
Speaker 1: the easy way to get rid of Schumer. You, thirty
Speaker 1: six Democrats and Bernie Sanders just create the new Christy
Speaker 1: Minstrels Party. Until next time, I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning,
Speaker 1: good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith
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