Speaker 1: Welcome back to.
Speaker 2: And guess why you guys we have a home you
Speaker 2: set up and we have to bring a special guest
Speaker 2: for the new setup.
Speaker 1: What's up in the body and what's up? Cool?
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me back, Philippa. How do you think
Speaker 2: about then you set up before the load one?
Speaker 1: Do you like the old one? Now? Man? I forgot
Speaker 1: how the other one looks the other one, But I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna remember this one because it feels like
Speaker 1: we're like like in the back of your mom garage.
Speaker 1: That's that's there, trying to do like a homie. I
Speaker 1: feel like we're in a garage, you know, like is
Speaker 1: the garage you took out to remember that we were
Speaker 1: were in a garage? I feel like one in the
Speaker 1: garage that that turns it into the wedding reception, you
Speaker 1: know for a person that was getting married in the
Speaker 1: building and they don't have like a lot of money
Speaker 1: to rent a hall and you're of the hall like, man,
Speaker 1: you know what, man, let's just use my garage, you garage. Man,
Speaker 1: as soon as the gate opens up, run to a chair.
Speaker 1: Where's that?
Speaker 2: I was actually a good conversation because I was one
Speaker 2: day like where's the most random place you've been to
Speaker 2: a birthday or like like an event like that.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know fo you guys. But after
Speaker 1: the show you did with me at the Greek you
Speaker 1: went to a random party? Oh no, but yeah it
Speaker 1: was my uncle's birthday.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that sh was fucking crazy punk rock show.
Speaker 3: Is that she was just really random?
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I didn't. I was like, I wasn't
Speaker 1: known that was that. I was pretty random.
Speaker 2: But I've seen the kids and yet I had a
Speaker 2: living room before were that bro and and people were watching.
Speaker 1: Through the windows. Are you serious? Yeah? At this comedian
Speaker 1: Filipino named Edwin's on Wan, Yeah, I know what I
Speaker 1: was talking why someone liked his comedy at the laugh Factory,
Speaker 1: he goes, hey, man, you want to do a show
Speaker 1: with me? He give you like seventy dollars, I'll do it,
Speaker 1: And then but he didn't tell me to her, like
Speaker 1: after I agreed it and the other guy agreed. Okay, man,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be in this lady living room. It's her
Speaker 1: sixtieth birthday. I'm like her favorite comedian. Oh hell yeah,
Speaker 1: so no microphone, dude, neverybody sitting in the living room. Bro,
Speaker 1: it felt like people are sitting on the floor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people sitting on the floor, people coming into the bathroom
Speaker 1: getting a beer and going back to the more beer.
Speaker 1: It felt like when you when all your family are cholos, bro,
Speaker 1: and they're all drug addicts. But today they're gonna watch
Speaker 1: you do what you learn at school. Bro. Everybody had
Speaker 1: to shut the hell up to see what dude knows
Speaker 1: could do now with multiplications.
Speaker 3: So that's how I felt when you were before me.
Speaker 3: How many people were there twenty man? Oh shit, we
Speaker 3: did twenty each. How many people were there.
Speaker 1: Like twenty five thirties of people in the bedroom. The
Speaker 1: lady probably laid out like the like blood and blood out,
Speaker 1: shut makes up coffee, fucked up party last night? What
Speaker 1: let me? It was in the valley. Oh but we're
Speaker 1: part of the valley. I don't know, man, but they
Speaker 1: owned a that's so random. It was random, was random
Speaker 1: place you don't comedy, No, man, I still cousin, and
Speaker 1: he's says that because the nice guy in nice time
Speaker 1: it was his birthday, I guess, and I'm his fairy comedian,
Speaker 1: and so it was his other cousin fairy comedian with me.
Speaker 1: So they said, don't do my do my my barbecue.
Speaker 1: So okay. So yeah, but we have a show in
Speaker 1: Mantebello at the Wild Coyote. And then he said at midnight,
Speaker 1: to be there till midnight, because so what man, after
Speaker 1: the show just run over here. Man, I'll give you
Speaker 1: guys like two hundred dollars. So I had those comediens
Speaker 1: that I booked that came from Hollywood to make like
Speaker 1: fifty dollars and said, man, if you want to make
Speaker 1: another fifty, follow me to this show. And know that
Speaker 1: I didn't say they didn't say garage, they didn't say
Speaker 1: birthday party and nothing. I just said, this show now
Speaker 1: fuck that going home, bro, this ship is far mana
Speaker 1: battle far, So I have to go still drive to
Speaker 1: a house in Manta Battle and look for the house. Well,
Speaker 1: I get there with the other dude's one dude and
Speaker 1: nobody's there. Everyone's gone, like the party ended already. And
Speaker 1: but ask your cousin was still there, was his was
Speaker 1: his friends. So there was like eight nine people man,
Speaker 1: no microphone, no light, just having a conversation at that point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got together and I'm okay, man, you know I
Speaker 1: agree to this. So let's huddle up right now, let's
Speaker 1: do it. It was like a game plan. Dude. There's
Speaker 1: the other time my friend I grew up with, imagine
Speaker 1: you're doing comedy food. Didn't know what I was saying,
Speaker 1: my breast party. Thank ah. People started leaving the hotel.
Speaker 3: I seen you did. You did a comedy at a
Speaker 3: mall parking lot before. I remember you remember that one.
Speaker 3: We were in a vodka but it was actually in
Speaker 3: a show he's done.
Speaker 1: No, no, I know it was. That's a random location,
Speaker 1: him doing comedy for eight people. And that's the truth.
Speaker 1: When when like cause it's like it's like the food
Speaker 1: that I'm asking for the bendir huh coship. I felt
Speaker 1: like a friend that I grew up with. There's a
Speaker 1: young comic. She gave me a hundred dollars and she
Speaker 1: said come do my birthday party. And I went there
Speaker 1: and it was a weird set up in city Terriers.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know where, city terror, Yeah, Hills.
Speaker 1: So the DJ was set up, of course obviously on
Speaker 1: top the microphone in the sound and the whole the
Speaker 1: whole party of gatherers were in the bottom dancing doing
Speaker 1: the bottom was up there. They were dancing. So you
Speaker 1: were doing comedy, like if you were Jesus allway from
Speaker 1: the top. Yeah, come here myself. How could you guess?
Speaker 1: You know? You know, you know how city ter Okay,
Speaker 1: so you better my house? Right? Okay? Do you remember? Okay,
Speaker 1: you remember Breeze Home Girl, Breeze home Girl. What was
Speaker 1: her name? Jennifer's house. Everything's on a hill. That's what
Speaker 1: he was doing, comedy, City Chair. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you have no the place, but that place, if you
Speaker 1: fell off the bed, you're landing, that's that's right, City terr.
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. You know. It's kind of that. I
Speaker 1: feel like the people from Easter don't claim it, no,
Speaker 1: but they should. But yeah, they should claim it because
Speaker 1: it's like this, but it's like a small little town within.
Speaker 3: The I just know it gives me anxiety when I
Speaker 3: see foods drive by there because the streets are so small.
Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite places because my yeah, liver there.
Speaker 2: And so I spent a lot of summers there with
Speaker 2: my mom and my dad. Were going through a lot
Speaker 2: of love for it, and I love.
Speaker 1: It because it because it's like it's like it's only
Speaker 1: the world with the world that was the only McDonald
Speaker 1: we knew for a while before they started building them
Speaker 1: all everywhere the day. Yeah, yeah, I would go there, bro,
Speaker 1: and I always see like Sholos that just came out
Speaker 1: of Sybil Brand Shols and that was a McDonald's. Man
Speaker 1: where if you if your mom and dad don't get along,
Speaker 1: no more. Hell yes, McDonald just living with the McDonald's there,
Speaker 1: and I'll pick them up because it's biggest, fuck huge,
Speaker 1: make your second floor right, no fucking way, Yeah they do.
Speaker 2: Okay, Now McDonald's have the blayground.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I get it fu enough for there and
Speaker 1: then well I'll pick them up later.
Speaker 2: And it's on a really busy street, so it's it's
Speaker 2: not hard to I mean it's it's really hard to
Speaker 2: get kidnapped because a lot of people going on constate.
Speaker 2: The police station's not so it is a pretty safe McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Where did you Where did you give all the kidnappers
Speaker 1: the clue not to go there and try to get you?
Speaker 1: Twenty people? Too many people to drop people alive?
Speaker 3: And where did you? Where did you go to high
Speaker 3: school that drop them off that you're our studious fucking nerd.
Speaker 3: Where'd you go to high school?
Speaker 1: I went to a Rose but then legendary, legendary forward,
Speaker 1: the State Stars, Menta Street, Lazell Real two three, I
Speaker 1: give you the actress. D you want to go back
Speaker 1: to school? Trying to go back to high school swimming
Speaker 1: team in high school? This was gay? What did you
Speaker 1: pick it? Alive? Because we're a book to guy though
Speaker 1: said he was gay? Yeah, why you want to tell
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, no, Philip, I'm to tell you
Speaker 1: the story.
Speaker 2: We staid the spot Philippa so Jakarta. He's not very
Speaker 2: culture hanging out on Tota. He doesn't all the boundaries
Speaker 2: to motherfucking So it's so it's my best friend for
Speaker 2: my best friends of kids first birthday.
Speaker 1: He grew up in a very Chicano household, so you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you were like first generations fucking everybody. Wait,
Speaker 1: you know, you know it's crazy. The theme of the
Speaker 1: party was total I'm like, this was just like they
Speaker 1: already liked that, but that was the whole thing.
Speaker 2: Like the little honey, we're in the where in the
Speaker 2: for We're in the huddle and and and and I
Speaker 2: want you to tell what you feel about the story. Right,
Speaker 2: we're in the huddle with all the older hoummies. Hey,
Speaker 2: Jakarta is not Mexican. So his thought is that like
Speaker 2: everybody grew up watching Bloody blood Out and that's how
Speaker 2: we all want to be right yeah.
Speaker 1: Right a wrong, Yeah these are these are real o g.
Speaker 1: So Jakarta goes up there and goes like he has
Speaker 1: like blood blood they're yeah, it's a cool movie food him, Man,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite movie?
Speaker 2: Just trying to go into like the culture, right, and
Speaker 2: me and the Hummy are looking at for like shut
Speaker 2: the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Carda randomly goes like, oh and man, my favorite scene.
Speaker 2: For blood and blood Out is a Miklos sucks big
Speaker 2: house and Jakarta.
Speaker 1: Sticks your finger in his mouth and it was hilarious.
Speaker 1: They did, yeah this is didn't think it was funny
Speaker 1: at all this one. What the fuck is wrong with you? Food?
Speaker 1: And I was like whoa when I laugh and everyone
Speaker 1: just walked away from me. Was hilarious. It's putty that movie, man.
Speaker 1: People take it seriously. Man. I would have the wrestling
Speaker 1: match at the Lucha Lucha in downtown, Oh God, And
Speaker 1: I took a picture was a random black wrestler, you know,
Speaker 1: yeah wrestler. And then he goes grab me, bro and
Speaker 1: just whatever you want to say, bro, and they goes
Speaker 1: and that foods grab the throat and that fools to say,
Speaker 1: this is a this is a fucking cheat time, motherfuck
Speaker 1: up for chip time. You don't get it. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know it's the black is the Black Club when
Speaker 1: they threw the grenading, fucking why there's something racing was
Speaker 1: doing it. Remember, yeah, this were chief times. It's hilarious. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So he said random and said, this is this is
Speaker 1: a fucking chief time, motherfucker chief time. I was like,
Speaker 1: what the because I knew the referend wants still a
Speaker 1: child and you.
Speaker 2: Know what sunny that you know the girl from the
Speaker 2: one that's getting right in the beginning of the movie,
Speaker 2: you know, and they're making out on top of the
Speaker 2: hill for you know, save me some Yeah, the girl, okay,
Speaker 2: that was she could have see those lady when they
Speaker 2: broke his back.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, she's a girl. Spiders enemy spiders. Girl,
Speaker 1: you gotta fight by my seat everything. Looky stop they're
Speaker 1: looky okay stop. That's a weird fucking thing to say,
Speaker 1: you know, save me so and you know she does
Speaker 1: meeting greets. I saw that. How does she do them? Bro,
Speaker 1: can you touch her? Or she like that fucking shake
Speaker 1: wonder woman? Bron, you gotta tan across the street from
Speaker 1: that bitch for real? You know that lady that plays
Speaker 1: wonder woman Greed meeting greet with a rope and you
Speaker 1: gotta stand like h Look it up, bro, you can
Speaker 1: look it up. Bro. You got a gal Gado. Bro,
Speaker 1: it looks like meeting greet. You look like a little person.
Speaker 1: That's how far you are for real meeting greeted party.
Speaker 1: Why you guys eighty bucks? Eighty bucks? Bro, I paid
Speaker 1: more to see two points, so let me touch them. Bro. No,
Speaker 1: you have to search up gall goodol you dumb fucking
Speaker 1: wonder woman. You put wonder woman like her name is
Speaker 1: jam mask. No it you, bro, it's gal Gado a
Speaker 1: do ot space space g a d o t Oh
Speaker 1: that bitch gal Gado. It was. Oh No, she's not
Speaker 1: not her. That's not her. No, man, look up, that's
Speaker 1: wonder woman. Doesn't even a wonder woman meeting greed eighty dollars.
Speaker 1: I don't show up. I think they only had one
Speaker 1: wonder woman. No, what about the part of the latina
Speaker 1: like she like or like the old school eighties? That's
Speaker 1: funny about all actors that you thought that never came
Speaker 1: out of Latinos come back, come on and say other
Speaker 1: Latino after they started working, because now they Latinos. Oh
Speaker 1: I feel like that was a great time for people
Speaker 1: to be Latino though not. Hell yeah, bro, she has
Speaker 1: always been a great time. People just burning and hasn't
Speaker 1: always been a great time. Don't do that. But what's
Speaker 1: what do you mean he's been Latino, He's been coming
Speaker 1: for years. She went fulling off. Find her name, man,
Speaker 1: her name is? She wasn't who wonder Woman? Is it?
Speaker 1: She was in a movie wonder Woman, the actress. Oh
Speaker 1: so she's not the wonder Woman. No the actress. Wait
Speaker 1: wait does she play wonder Woman? Yeah? The actress? She is,
Speaker 1: like who check out her meeting greed she showed that
Speaker 1: wonderful minutes. Oh that is wonder Woman. Yeah, look up
Speaker 1: out her meeting Greek brother. Somebody posted on Instagram today
Speaker 1: that he paid eighty bucks and it's just such a
Speaker 1: wonder woman meeting greet eighty dollars. Yeah he did, he did,
Speaker 1: he did. We're just going to bullshit bulls in there.
Speaker 1: You know, it's on Instagram or not going viral and
Speaker 1: people are writing down. Man. Sometimes you need limits. Man.
Speaker 1: You know, people try to touch you and ship they
Speaker 1: want to kiss you. Do you have you had any
Speaker 1: very great interactions, Bro, I've been doing a long time,
Speaker 1: and he gets weirded and weirded. Bro. Sometimes guys go, Bro,
Speaker 1: just grab my wife boobs a real fast and I said, sorry, man,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, but you paid for it.
Speaker 1: But sometimes also the dudes like, you're surprised, how gay?
Speaker 1: They turned right out at the meeting, Greek Bro saying,
Speaker 1: Bro taking a picture. This guy just grab my battles, Bro,
Speaker 1: like they squeeze them, and I gonna I'm like, what
Speaker 1: am I gonna do? Bro? Punch you in the face
Speaker 1: and funk up the meeting grief for everybody. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: grabbed your balls. Yeah, so I said, I let it go, Bro,
Speaker 1: like he didn't cook poop. And then sometimes you gotta
Speaker 1: go or sometimes uh, the woman goes and then okay,
Speaker 1: we do this, but they an't know what they're gonna do.
Speaker 1: That's all right. So both husband and wife get together
Speaker 1: by my by my you know, by my penis, and
Speaker 1: pretend they're sucking it. Bro. I got a whold at that.
Speaker 1: Another time a photo and in Utah and these two
Speaker 1: girls they just made out in front of me, and yeah,
Speaker 1: how about the other ones? Bro, two guys, you gotta
Speaker 1: arrest them right there? Don't I have people you'd rather
Speaker 1: want to touch. They try to tickle me. It's a weird,
Speaker 1: weird thing. And then just when I do meeting Greece
Speaker 1: and Ventura, there's his solo that every time I do
Speaker 1: the meeting greet, he had to give me a piggyback ride.
Speaker 1: What he has to give you? You're on his back,
Speaker 1: his back, I hopeing the day he gets really all ready,
Speaker 1: I finally just break him. Bro, I can't break his back.
Speaker 1: And then I see you in a wheelchair and what happened? Bro?
Speaker 1: You don't when I get in my back, But put
Speaker 1: this fuckingk on my back right now?
Speaker 2: Bro, please, it's fucking crazy. So every time you go
Speaker 2: to Ventura, you just get on this one back.
Speaker 1: Yeah you can look it up, brother, like fucking different,
Speaker 1: three different photos place cool, you know, agreed. I don't think.
Speaker 1: Don't get that.
Speaker 2: I've gotten in the mom where some food's like, hey,
Speaker 2: pick up my wife and signed the bulls before and
Speaker 2: then I've seen him at first, I've seen a dude
Speaker 2: get mad at his girl about sign hold my baby.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, Oh you've held a baby on the
Speaker 1: street before. I've seen you found a baby in the street.
Speaker 1: Not like this dude. This dude seem dude on you
Speaker 1: was like, oh, Ship, I just had my kid. Can
Speaker 1: you hold him for me? And I for rand and
Speaker 1: give you his skid? I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: We just off the club and I was literally drunk
Speaker 2: as fucking I guess they were having like dinner down
Speaker 2: the street and I was just holding a baby.
Speaker 1: He was drunk, baby. It was It was cool though,
Speaker 1: But now that people watch the podcast Jakarta coming out
Speaker 1: told me, and there's.
Speaker 2: A thing about people taking in Jakarta because he's sweetish sugar.
Speaker 1: He's sugar bear. Bro. That's a little fucking ceial, so
Speaker 1: he like sugar bear. How do you feel about Indonesians?
Speaker 1: Philippe for second person? I met him Indonesia. Really, who's
Speaker 1: the first bro? When other we had We used to
Speaker 1: go to his church right here in California. I don't
Speaker 1: know where, if Fillmore or farm Down, I don't know
Speaker 1: that by Lancaster, Okay, off the up in the hills, somewhere, yeah,
Speaker 1: and went there. I guess that church went to Indonesia.
Speaker 1: I guess they brought Indonesian people to the neighborhood. So
Speaker 1: I met an Indonesian girl there and I met parents,
Speaker 1: and they are like other people there that church. But
Speaker 1: they were all white, Bro, they do like the fucking
Speaker 1: little house and Prairian ship. The Indonesians were right, no, no,
Speaker 1: the white people there were white as hell. Yeah, well, bro,
Speaker 1: Indonesians were like me, bro, bro, a little little dirty yeah. Man?
Speaker 1: Were they were? They were? They Christian? Indonesians are Muslim,
Speaker 1: No ship. They were in a church, dumbass. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: what the fuck mosque? But they're not going to bring
Speaker 1: Muslim Indonesians to a church and try to convert them.
Speaker 1: They probably converted them in Indonesia and brought them here.
Speaker 3: Now, there's a lot of Christian Indonesians out there too,
Speaker 3: not more than Muslims, but there's a lot of Christians
Speaker 3: out there too.
Speaker 1: But there was a Vietnamese kid. My mom told me, like,
Speaker 1: there was a Vietnamese kid with a weird name. His
Speaker 1: name was California, Indonesia. I'm not lying though. Look up
Speaker 1: Vietnamese kid named Indonesia fucking me up. Bro.
Speaker 2: By the way, by the way, you want to be crazy,
Speaker 2: I just I saw a rare A rare person is
Speaker 2: I've seen an Asian kid with Donson J for the
Speaker 2: first time, I.
Speaker 1: Said, it was just regularly you tell them up down
Speaker 1: getting at the bathroom because like down, they don't scream.
Speaker 1: That means it's not Chinese. Oh man, you know, so
Speaker 1: he's in a special K pop group. Oh so.
Speaker 2: When I was walking and so when I was walking
Speaker 2: out of the bathroom, I seen I was like, I
Speaker 2: was like, I was like, oh, he might just be Asian.
Speaker 1: But then he started going I did look and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, downson, drum, that's the that's the toll. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll we're like the tongue of the mouth open. Because
Speaker 1: he didn like he was around four or five. I
Speaker 1: have a four five year old Niee. She's like talking
Speaker 1: and ship and he was just right there. Later and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this forgot.
Speaker 2: Downson, And I could tell because the press were like
Speaker 2: decompressing by the bathroom.
Speaker 1: There's like a little there's like a little tears that
Speaker 1: the compressed because you know, maybe he gets overwhelmed the shuit.
Speaker 1: You know when when you're young and you don't know anything.
Speaker 1: You're like seventeen or eighteen. You just throw random stuff off. Man.
Speaker 1: I remember I saw a bunch of down sing droome
Speaker 1: kids together and I said, damn, they all have the
Speaker 1: same dad. Where is this dad producing these babies? They were,
Speaker 1: They were in a group, in a group, they were
Speaker 1: just taking about it, like the summer camp. Probably they
Speaker 1: were like if they had a summer camp for duncing
Speaker 1: drop kids over there called I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: know what their fabric detrotion is called. Have you seen
Speaker 1: any more snuggles right here? You're sugar bear? Have you
Speaker 1: seen this lady? Instagram? Instagram models like I G models
Speaker 1: like model one of them died elected US senator in
Speaker 1: the country. But well look it up, bro, down this
Speaker 1: person elected to senators. We're what person get next to
Speaker 1: the elected to parliament or something? Oh in Colombia, Columbia,
Speaker 1: our lady, right, it was a lady. She don't have
Speaker 1: down syndrome. No, oh, yes she did, Yes, she did
Speaker 1: brown in Columbia. Oh she got elected to be a senator.
Speaker 1: That's dope. And I haven't done anything, bro, but this
Speaker 1: jokes my whole life. Oh yeah, sen Bro even better.
Speaker 1: She was the one to let all the immigrants in.
Speaker 1: Bro Bang bang said, what Morocco, you know, what do
Speaker 1: you think? What do you think? What do you think?
Speaker 1: Your first? Uh?
Speaker 3: Who do your first? I can tell you chocolate milk
Speaker 3: in every home there has to be chucking milk and everyone.
Speaker 3: Oh chocolate.
Speaker 1: I love chocolate milke. Bro. He blacked me out and
Speaker 1: that comment is to go to go viral. Let one
Speaker 1: knows me no dying laughing at that comment. The first
Speaker 1: first one first Parliament with Downson after being elected to
Speaker 1: the Malaencia's regional she says she wants to see she
Speaker 1: wants to be seen as a person, not for a disability.
Speaker 1: Oh we see you girl, all right? Fucked up? No
Speaker 1: we do you know? Who does she lose against? Who
Speaker 1: does she? Bro? I want to see the other guy? Like,
Speaker 1: who does she beat? Well? How horrible was this guy?
Speaker 1: Who was it? This punny said, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: a burned Moroccan people something so bad? Who does she
Speaker 1: lose a kid? Oh it's close close. She basically won
Speaker 1: for like because she has she didn't go against anybody.
Speaker 3: No, they're just they're they're they're checking all the boxes
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. They probably have a gay
Speaker 3: fo up there.
Speaker 1: She's going at it with her imaginary best friend. They're
Speaker 1: fucking bugging out. Oh man, Felipe. Good for her, man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: good for her. She has great parents that they didn't
Speaker 1: forget about her and put her in a corner with
Speaker 1: crayons and a box stuff little Caesar's pizza.
Speaker 3: You know, you know how you know how parents always
Speaker 3: compare you to your cousin, Like, although your cousin's doing this,
Speaker 3: I'm actually being her cousin and being like, damn, she's
Speaker 3: a fucking senator.
Speaker 1: Now what are you doing with your life? Yeah? Beat her?
Speaker 1: Rast you just say I beat her. Rast won't beat me.
Speaker 1: But I think about like when they're having debates about
Speaker 1: certain laws, like yeah, talking them for everybody. Damn, that's
Speaker 1: pretty fucked up. Yeah, we just like the thousand what
Speaker 1: did you? Where did you grow up at? And you
Speaker 1: think if she was a center of the United States
Speaker 1: and she was a Democrat and trumb would have had
Speaker 1: like an hour of material for her. Well, Trump will
Speaker 1: tell her like if she's like you're you're you're bad
Speaker 1: on immigrants and he's not fit to be president. Who
Speaker 1: do you tell her, bro, you're not really human?
Speaker 4: Bro?
Speaker 1: Ahful, it's because okay, let's be honest. I think it's
Speaker 1: a shut up in retail. Yeah yeah, I ain't grabbing
Speaker 1: that one from the you know, hey know, let's be honest.
Speaker 1: If if you see somebody from Downston Jam running down
Speaker 1: Syndrome with with this isn't a country I know with
Speaker 1: Downson Gym running against Gavin Newsom, Gavin Uston both the
Speaker 1: down Syndrome person. You can't do worse than that. In California,
Speaker 1: we have chocolate milk in every home. Bro, it'll be nice. Bro.
Speaker 1: That's he's giving you something like a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: Just debatable and depends what you're asking. I'm asking you.
Speaker 1: I don't know too much about Lave. I just pay taxes, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just pay taxes. A lot of might Gavin Newsom.
Speaker 1: They're the ones that live like like that. The city
Speaker 1: might only have like one hospital and they drive like
Speaker 1: thirty miles to it. Probably Yeah. Yeah, people that want
Speaker 1: to like start their own state. Like I remember one
Speaker 1: time somebody wanted to make a part of part of
Speaker 1: San Diego, part of Vegas, part of this other area.
Speaker 1: They wanted to make it south California. Oh, kind of
Speaker 1: like his own state, his own state, like break break
Speaker 1: the state apart? Oh wow, kind of like South Dakota
Speaker 1: north of Dakota. Yeah, if you could get rid of
Speaker 1: any state, what states would you get rid of? We
Speaker 1: have fifty? Which stays? Do you feel like we should
Speaker 1: be fifty? Are you fucking seriously asking if we have
Speaker 1: fifty fifty one? Yeah? Fifty one? The what the fuck fifty?
Speaker 1: I would I want to I would not get rid
Speaker 1: of the state. I probably will get rid of it, No,
Speaker 1: I probably will. I would do like a business man,
Speaker 1: you know, like a like a President Trump would do,
Speaker 1: somebody you know who knows business. I would just merge
Speaker 1: it with other states, So like South Carolina. North Carolina
Speaker 1: will be one. Like you say, for example, California, Like
Speaker 1: you want to break the California apart, I will give
Speaker 1: sun has sinto and now that area done everything love
Speaker 1: big bro lord eye. Oh like the little bullshit city. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will keep that still part of California because you know,
Speaker 1: we need all the agriculture money. Yeah. But the those
Speaker 1: places man, that are debatable, man, like like MacArthur Park. No,
Speaker 1: it will be too close, but we can't have a
Speaker 1: different state inside of the state. Oh, we have to
Speaker 1: feed it. Because I had this crazy idea, bro, when
Speaker 1: I was a young comic, back in when I was
Speaker 1: like thirty years old, I had this one joke right
Speaker 1: when I think Arnold Schwasnegger was governor and if the
Speaker 1: depth the definstrated when bad Oris County went bankrupt, and
Speaker 1: there was because he came in when they had they
Speaker 1: had they had a recount, they got rid of one governor,
Speaker 1: and everybody was running. Bro fucking Gary Coleman running for
Speaker 1: governor from different strokes. It's talking about what are you
Speaker 1: talking about? Everybody was running for governor. So then Arnold won.
Speaker 1: But then I let the it was it was a
Speaker 1: bad economy for for California back then. So I want
Speaker 1: to joke. I said, you know, I realized California doing bad.
Speaker 1: I know how we can get our money back. What
Speaker 1: we do is we will we'll we'll seceed from the
Speaker 1: United States whole California. We'll leave the United States the
Speaker 1: way the South left. We'll leave and then we'll start
Speaker 1: about we'll start fucking our borders states. We're trying to
Speaker 1: fight them, like we'll go to New Mexico, we'll go
Speaker 1: to Arizona. We'll fight Oregon and will fight Idoho. All
Speaker 1: our border states will fight them, and we know we're
Speaker 1: going to lose. But that's the plan. The plan is
Speaker 1: to lose these battles, and once we lose and the
Speaker 1: real states back to a state, will ask the government
Speaker 1: for one percent foreign aid. Genius, what the fun? I
Speaker 1: didn't even think about the foreign aid, bro. And that
Speaker 1: means they'll give us money. They'll give us a little
Speaker 1: money to build, and we'll let what we let America, Well,
Speaker 1: let the Americans back in to put the bases all
Speaker 1: over in California and restarting the state, restarting, restarting, how
Speaker 1: this restart the stay at the cost? Would you but
Speaker 1: that you talk? You to a joke if you're listening
Speaker 1: and never it's a stupid ideas of lives lost. I
Speaker 1: think watching that ship was about head. I think I
Speaker 1: think if if the economy was bad, what would I do?
Speaker 1: I think I like that idea. But we'll beat the
Speaker 1: ship out of Oregon, for sure. We're beating they have.
Speaker 1: They have the sas squatch over there, for but I
Speaker 1: have the sasquatch. Bro. Oregon has beaver ten Oregon. That's
Speaker 1: what my cousins, and that's when Nike was invented. Bro,
Speaker 1: you might want to give a pair of quartest to
Speaker 1: all the Cholos to join their own. Okay, they have
Speaker 1: the Nike facility over there.
Speaker 2: I think we're beating. Okay, just this is my thoughts.
Speaker 2: We're beating the shot out of out of out of Oregon.
Speaker 2: Arizona might be debatable because it's really hostile though. They
Speaker 2: will sustain better quality, like like like they're bible to survive.
Speaker 1: A little more than we are. They go through a
Speaker 1: lot and it's open carry, yes. And then what's another
Speaker 1: state by us? Vegas? I think we'll beat the ship
Speaker 1: out of it. But if we're to a tag Arizona
Speaker 1: during their monsoon rains, that wouldn't if it rained all
Speaker 1: day and the floods kind of furnaw, we're used to floods.
Speaker 1: We could go in there, Bro, and and and and
Speaker 1: oh my m the people fuck up, the ones from
Speaker 1: those Vegas, the ones that live in the tunnels.
Speaker 3: Oh the bottle, Bro, that's scary as fuck, y'all. So
Speaker 3: they have a whole underground citio. Bro, We'll be done
Speaker 3: in Samburglidos. It is time to leave California. We'll be fucked.
Speaker 3: Fuck we've been fighting people from fucking Hammt Bro.
Speaker 1: People from Heimen are crazy. For you know, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: But every time I have a show it on Terror Improv,
Speaker 1: there's always one or two people from him and I'm like,
Speaker 1: how'd you make it here? We went over the.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we look like they have three eyes for he
Speaker 3: many people are crazy's where's hen hemmit Is?
Speaker 1: Like, I don't even think the I E clams Emmett
Speaker 1: like all the hommies I know from the i E,
Speaker 1: like like Rancho Riverside. They're like, hey, it's kind of
Speaker 1: like it's kind of like us with MacArthur Park, like
Speaker 1: age leave that over there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when they said they were cleaning up MacArthur Park,
Speaker 3: I went there literally like like I passed by there
Speaker 3: with our kick on dress, crackheads everywhere.
Speaker 1: Bro, everybody that had everybody in the I grew up
Speaker 1: in the eighties had an uncle that died there in
Speaker 1: the seventies. How a bad was it when you were
Speaker 1: going to McArthur Park? Was it's STI pretty bad. It
Speaker 1: was bad. We used to buy all our clothes ato
Speaker 1: across the street used to be a store like the
Speaker 1: Swami Wait Wait wait Philly from the Hera where Macartur
Speaker 1: Park was still a theater, the West Lake Theater. Hell no,
Speaker 1: that's ok okay, So that's way before you. When I
Speaker 1: was because to macarter Park, there was still uh there
Speaker 1: was still like five different tithes of churches there in
Speaker 1: the park. All the time. I was walking around trying
Speaker 1: to preach the beople. Yeah, now we go there. Now
Speaker 1: there's a there's a kind of Sunday. There's a there's
Speaker 1: a Sovurdorian girl who sets up over there across the
Speaker 1: street from the rest the Salvadoran restaurants, but across the
Speaker 1: street from the bar. She preaches there. Then over there
Speaker 1: by the by the expired medicine where people saw expired medicine,
Speaker 1: there's a dirty man and he preaches there in English.
Speaker 1: And there's another one over there. Bro. When I was
Speaker 1: a little kid there with my mouthy shop, there was
Speaker 1: a there was a food dressed up like food Darth
Speaker 1: Vader bro. And he was talking about his store. So
Speaker 1: he was giving up a little bibles, Bro, and he
Speaker 1: was talking about God. That's nice. I like like, I
Speaker 1: like preachers like screen pictures. I think that's dope. Shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up. You laugh at them all the time.
Speaker 2: Don't do that food with that one food from Katon
Speaker 2: that when when it's on the crowd the street, he's
Speaker 2: right there with the sign that's like we threw the
Speaker 2: water at that foot.
Speaker 1: But you know what's crazy, that's the homies dad, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not even playing. That was literally the homies dad,
Speaker 1: Your homies Dad was preaching out there, ye still preaching
Speaker 1: out there still, I think, wait, hold on, I think
Speaker 1: it's the homies dad. I had a friend five percent
Speaker 1: sure named Wow the whole name. But I had a
Speaker 1: friend and that was that was a preacher. He was
Speaker 1: nowhere bro like him and hanging now bro just smoking weed,
Speaker 1: doing our stuff, always hanging out, clearing on trees, breaking
Speaker 1: into factories and taking people with lunch, you know, for
Speaker 1: the refrigerator. And he started preaching. One day he was
Speaker 1: in front of Newberries, but there was seventh and Broadway.
Speaker 1: He was like this, he's you know a lot of tolos,
Speaker 1: you know, repent all his Spanish bro like full lawn,
Speaker 1: like this, full lawn. And this was from one day
Speaker 1: to another, one day to another. Bo he were there
Speaker 1: for a whole year just preaching like that man, just
Speaker 1: randomly just preaching the word of God. And then one
Speaker 1: day he was preaching the word of God in front
Speaker 1: of the people that were slanging dope and ship. Then finally, like,
Speaker 1: is it going crazy? It's like so I went over
Speaker 1: and talked to him, man, and I said, listen, man,
Speaker 1: before you clean up this neighborhood that doesn't really need cleaning,
Speaker 1: you should go in your house. Bro, clean up the house.
Speaker 1: Your house is fucking dirty. Bro. Roaches be ice skating
Speaker 1: and a refrigerator dog. Hey, by the way, roaches looking
Speaker 1: for coal in that burder Oven, Bro. The roaches are
Speaker 1: coal miners. Bro. Now all that came my spit to
Speaker 1: homiees how but aluminum foil, aluminum and now charcoal and ship.
Speaker 1: I've been to Jakarta, Jakarta. Shared the room with his
Speaker 1: two brothers. They seem bunk beds, Tobago, You're fucking stupid.
Speaker 1: So it's like this, So he's the.
Speaker 2: Biggest and he's the heaviest, so he has to sleep
Speaker 2: in the bottom, and then his brother rests on top,
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 3: His older brother right there where you live. I live
Speaker 3: in like a Korea time. I don't have fucking three
Speaker 3: bunk buds.
Speaker 1: But because I had a friend named Easy's Khan and
Speaker 1: he's from from Afghanistan him too, and we used to
Speaker 1: do you do that too, man like because you know,
Speaker 1: like you don't want to stay on the phone too
Speaker 1: long because it's expensive. He will write down all the
Speaker 1: questions he wants to ask his family before to make
Speaker 1: sure that he don't run out of time and talk
Speaker 1: over there. He used to match to show up to
Speaker 1: his house and and you're right, bro, they have like
Speaker 1: five beds laid up like a hospital bed like a hospital. Like.
Speaker 1: One of the bedrooms had five fucking twin beds, bro,
Speaker 1: just not on top of each other, but they were
Speaker 1: laid out and it was like beating like like like
Speaker 1: come locked up like sardines. Sardines. Bro. All the rooms
Speaker 1: have beds, even the living room and in the kitchen
Speaker 1: five rice cookers blasting food and three rice cookers with
Speaker 1: spicy curry and fish. Oh that sounds so fire, bro.
Speaker 1: Oh dog, it's good.
Speaker 3: It's Fisher would never like he talks about like he's
Speaker 3: not a cultural he's not a culture man. So he
Speaker 3: talked about like Afghani for the Indian food like all
Speaker 3: types of.
Speaker 1: Was like that. I don't know if he's like that now.
Speaker 1: I mean it was in a long time. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: want to hit a Cuban restaurant and if we just
Speaker 1: said there like this, who offered the food different? I
Speaker 1: just I don't like all that, Like Keith in Doniesian
Speaker 1: and he likes all that garlicy ship I popp like
Speaker 1: he wants to eat tofu every day. I could. I
Speaker 1: could love how it just out of the bag like sque.
Speaker 3: It's it's fried and then uh it gets tossed with
Speaker 3: like garlic and chili's fire. It's like it's like have
Speaker 3: you been to Chinese restaurants like salt pepper shrimp or something.
Speaker 1: My wife is that, Yeah, she gets the stopping rise.
Speaker 1: It's kind of real gooey, like already, like they're softening
Speaker 1: as hard as firm. Oh for for tof Yeah them,
Speaker 1: you gotta sweel the water on. You can make as
Speaker 1: with that, but then the softball bro forget about it.
Speaker 1: Dog you cut it up in cubes, then you put
Speaker 1: the Chinese chili over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, have you ever been to so Koreans have
Speaker 3: a thing called sundobu it's a soon tofu, so they'll
Speaker 3: have like a boiling hot fucking soup and then they'll
Speaker 3: just throw the tofu in there and then just cook.
Speaker 1: It's so fucking god. Yeah. I go to b CD
Speaker 1: Tofu House in Korea Town. It's pretty good. Yeah. He
Speaker 1: always wants to like eat some weird like no bro
Speaker 1: Korean food to me is probably one of the best cuisines,
Speaker 1: like huge Chinese food, right, yeah, no, but this food
Speaker 1: eats like Chinatown Express, like those old five dollars bullshit plates.
Speaker 1: He doesn't know what real Chinese food is. So you've
Speaker 1: never been to like a place where they have dim
Speaker 1: sum and they get being a different pod. We just
Speaker 1: want to Denti Funk this Who fucking hated that shit?
Speaker 1: Is that shit not fucking stupid? How it comes out
Speaker 1: every fuck I'm pretty sure that's not how it comes
Speaker 1: out for everybody. For us.
Speaker 3: When we went to Denti Funk, it was like one
Speaker 3: plate at a time. We ordered like seven things, but
Speaker 3: it was like one by one by one, and that's
Speaker 3: kind of pissed me off too.
Speaker 1: But the food was pretty good. I think No, I
Speaker 1: think you were used to it because of your Asian culture.
Speaker 3: What the fuck does that mean, bitch, That's not how
Speaker 3: it works. Usually when you order at a Chinese restaurant,
Speaker 3: it all comes at once food.
Speaker 1: So what was the different between the restaurant? Why did
Speaker 1: it come like that? I don't know. I'm not the
Speaker 1: fucking owner. Dog. I was mad too, we're dimm something
Speaker 1: at where are that? It was because I went to
Speaker 1: the one in Chinatown. Oh for sure, that's way better
Speaker 1: the Broadway, and it was everything came out a little
Speaker 1: mental steam the steam ones, yeah, and I started eating it.
Speaker 1: Some of them with shrimp, bro like grounded shrimp off fire.
Speaker 1: And then now the other one was beef chicken outpe
Speaker 1: the fish. And then there was one bro like you know,
Speaker 1: I ain't live bros like fish and eggs, fish, white
Speaker 1: balls with guts. No, he'd be buying, what is this ship?
Speaker 1: You be eating? Ship out of the can? So I
Speaker 1: got eat a lot of what he's saying.
Speaker 3: Not funny man, not funny guys. So I get a
Speaker 3: tin fish you know what that is? Like like sardine?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, fucking But right now I'm on an octopus.
Speaker 3: So they cut up octopus and they put it in
Speaker 3: with with like oil or some shit. They put in account.
Speaker 3: I fucking love that ship. I just bought them for
Speaker 3: twenty dollars. I was old, but it was it was cool.
Speaker 1: My dad would eat that. Yeah, my dad wouldat the
Speaker 1: round remember the round one with tomato sauce. I know
Speaker 1: it's exactly what you're talking about. But he would take
Speaker 1: the bones out, Dude. He would cut up tomatoes, onions,
Speaker 1: patillo and that's just fired. Dog. You throw that bitch
Speaker 1: in the air fire. The can get fucking cooks. Dog.
Speaker 1: I'm eating like a like apocalypse, you know, like it's apocalypse.
Speaker 1: I'm just preparing for So you like the regular sardans
Speaker 1: that are fully oiled. I can't. I'm not really fucking
Speaker 1: with sardines, but I get everything else. Talking about sardines,
Speaker 1: Yeah no, no, I sartine's like once or twice, Like
Speaker 1: I don't hate it, but I don't really even Like
Speaker 1: the other day we were cooking for a flog and
Speaker 1: this food made me eat a whole piece of garlic.
Speaker 1: It's good for you, I think. I don't know if
Speaker 1: that ship was nasty, I feel give me. Hello Hartburn,
Speaker 1: you're happy to eat real cheese all day? Huh No,
Speaker 1: he eats shipping with a bowl of cereal every hour.
Speaker 1: I don't do me. No, no, no, So before before
Speaker 1: your diet, say cool with crispy before your diet, tell
Speaker 1: them your your order. Oh tellers, bro, no no no,
Speaker 1: I still what do you mean? I still need the
Speaker 1: same thing about local? Okay? So, so what was like
Speaker 1: the fatter ship you've done to tell me?
Speaker 2: I used to wake up for this, bro, I'm telling
Speaker 2: advice to wake up at twelve pm? Uh huh go
Speaker 2: to Chick fil A. Yeah, get a spicy chicken DeLux shandwich.
Speaker 1: At what time? At like twelve thirty am pm? What
Speaker 1: you happened the afternoon? Yeah? That I would wake up young,
Speaker 1: like young. When did we do this for two years ago? Okay?
Speaker 1: And then and then and then I would get a
Speaker 1: large large fries, large fries, a side of three chicken tenders,
Speaker 1: Chick fil A sauce, a big ass coke.
Speaker 2: I would eat That's just stuff myself, go back to sleep,
Speaker 2: wake up they need again, then go film and then eat.
Speaker 1: Damn bitch. That was That was like one of the
Speaker 1: most fat ship ever. Where are you running from? Feelings?
Speaker 1: Where you're running from? I don't know. I think it's
Speaker 1: because you got money and you were just like, fuck it,
Speaker 1: let's do something. No no. By the time, I was
Speaker 1: also jacking aufalout. Oh, Bro.
Speaker 3: The combination of jacking off and eating food, I think
Speaker 3: it's really dope. You don't do it at the same time,
Speaker 3: but like one after the jack off, then.
Speaker 1: That's pretty depressing. Man. Life on the brock fast food
Speaker 1: on the road. You're all sat and then you jerk
Speaker 1: off and then pass out and you sleep on your
Speaker 1: own wet spot. I had a dream one time, bro,
Speaker 1: like that I was eating like a fruit cocktail and
Speaker 1: I did everything you have to talk about. And I
Speaker 1: also I passed out and at my face was on
Speaker 1: the top of a cocktail later on, like mango all
Speaker 1: over the face. But I didn't know that that I
Speaker 1: had food on my face. But because but I had
Speaker 1: this crazy dream, bro, because of ninet eleven, because I
Speaker 1: wouldn't sleep out fucked up. So at this dream of
Speaker 1: ninet eleven, and I was seeing bodies smash and there
Speaker 1: every time like there was there was splatter. I fell splatter,
Speaker 1: but it was a maco. It was a mango, bro.
Speaker 1: And I went at this and I have that I
Speaker 1: have blood broly ah, but it was a full cocktail.
Speaker 1: So I was like in a four D dream where
Speaker 1: I could feel what's going on in my dream, but
Speaker 1: it was actually a mango. What the fun? The truth?
Speaker 1: And why nine eleven? Then you were having the conversation
Speaker 1: about ninety eleven that I don't know. Probably I probably did.
Speaker 1: Probably probably I was watching a bunch of sad videos. Man,
Speaker 1: Where where were you at nine eleven? I was at
Speaker 1: my house, man. I had like a bunch of people
Speaker 1: spent the night in my little studio. I had who
Speaker 1: was there, Rodrigo was there, IVN, my son probably and
Speaker 1: me and we all just I got a call in
Speaker 1: the morning from my girlfriend at the time, We're being
Speaker 1: under attack, squeaming bro, We're being under attack, We're being
Speaker 1: in Oh my god, the world's ending. And then the
Speaker 1: other calls were her calling me like as the world's ending,
Speaker 1: and like we haven't. Then we opened up the news
Speaker 1: and we saw the the whole thing happened. She was
Speaker 1: fucking crazy. It was crazy, bro, It was crazy. My
Speaker 1: wife was working in New York and she said she
Speaker 1: saw a plane path by and they hit the walk
Speaker 1: when they hit the building. So whenever somebody conspira the
Speaker 1: theories about the building will blow up. I always think
Speaker 1: about her working there for around Chase Morgan, Chase the lawyers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the buildings like not far from there now, And she
Speaker 1: said she worked on the other building, not the other
Speaker 1: building next to the trade center. She said, the big
Speaker 1: pay and then went into it, went inside the building.
Speaker 1: And then nobody was going around, goes, there are they
Speaker 1: doing any training today or something? And then they haven't
Speaker 1: hadn't hit the news yet, but some of them were
Speaker 1: listening to Howard Stern and he reported the whole play
Speaker 1: by play because he stood on during ninety during nine
Speaker 1: eleven and I was listening to it too. What the
Speaker 1: he was? He had like the biggest fucking podcast ever? Right,
Speaker 1: what did you say? That's what it was? A radio
Speaker 1: like a radio show. Doesn't fool with black Beatle? Yeah,
Speaker 1: who that'sn't right? But the Beatle ud Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: black Beatle he had, Yeah, beetlejuice with beetle juice, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was retarded. Are you crazy? Pull up a picture
Speaker 1: of this for I know Beatle juwe looks. You couldn't
Speaker 1: tell off the rip he was. I thought he was
Speaker 1: playing a dumb character. Read the ship out that he
Speaker 1: was funny on a scary movie when they opened up
Speaker 1: I'm Home with It. Oh he came out? Is he dead?
Speaker 2: The characters one of the most famous ones. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: fe Lipet. What's your okay? So the CARDI the big
Speaker 2: sci fi gu I love sitcoms. What's your favorite sitcom?
Speaker 1: Sitcom? Right now? Not right? Not just about the general
Speaker 1: card's favorite sitcom? Telling? Which is there? George Show?
Speaker 3: I like fucking the Office, Parks and Rags, Fucking what's
Speaker 3: that ship that I'm watching right now?
Speaker 1: Oh? That seventies show? Like that you're talking about the
Speaker 1: old stuff, old news me old. I like, I used
Speaker 1: to watch this all the time. But I didn't grow
Speaker 1: up watching it because my friend used to watch it.
Speaker 1: But it was when I was when I started watching it.
Speaker 1: They already reruns that show with Andy Kaufman. Taxi. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've never seen that. I've heard about it at midnight, bro.
Speaker 1: So I will come in late at night bro from
Speaker 1: fucking from like performing parting. Yeah, so I'll go to
Speaker 1: Nickelodeon and it will be all at midnight. It was
Speaker 1: called Taxi, Yeah, Taxi. It will come on at MIDNIGHTE.
Speaker 1: So then I'll just keep partying, and then I'll wait
Speaker 1: till four am and I watch a show called white
Speaker 1: a show that my mom that let me my mom
Speaker 1: and dad kind of watch because it it will go on,
Speaker 1: it'll be on too late. It was called White Shadow.
Speaker 1: It will come on at four White Shadow, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: then it would at four am. It will come on
Speaker 1: at Nickelodeon when Nickelodeon was new, called niked Knight. Yeah. Nick,
Speaker 1: And that's how I knew it was. It was really
Speaker 1: fucked up. But your coming. And I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start watching the show cause never I never
Speaker 1: really got to watch when I was little. Damn. The
Speaker 1: taxi one looks good. What is it about? It's like
Speaker 1: some New York ship taxi. It's about Danny de Vito,
Speaker 1: the first row, one of the Danny DeVito on that
Speaker 1: on the go back to the sorry, yeah, oh what
Speaker 1: the fuck? Okay? Is like a purva. There's a funny
Speaker 1: there's a funny story about him auditioning for that role
Speaker 1: because they were looking for a He's like the leader.
Speaker 1: He's the manager of the whole taxi cab. He runs
Speaker 1: it and he tells people, you take that car, you
Speaker 1: take this car. So when they're auditioning somebody big, somebody
Speaker 1: fucking mean, somebody crazy for this role, right, somebody fucking nuts,
Speaker 1: somebody crazy, somebody huge, somebody let project anger in the authority.
Speaker 1: So then the Beatle Bro, you know, he's like four eleven,
Speaker 1: he's short, right, so fucking for the audition. He shows up, bro,
Speaker 1: and he walks up to the people that are auditioning,
Speaker 1: and he fucking throws all the scripts on the ground,
Speaker 1: all the starts knocking sh it down. You gotta ready
Speaker 1: to fucking do this or what that's our guy. So
Speaker 1: it's like he didn't really audition. Oh you're saying that
Speaker 1: was audition. That was audition. They said they wanted somebody brusk,
Speaker 1: somebody big. Ye. So what he did, you were the
Speaker 1: portraying to project authority in the room? What the fuck
Speaker 1: before he even read his lines, he already had did that.
Speaker 1: And imagine now the people are like, this was this
Speaker 1: his biggest show, his first show ever? Yeah, there was.
Speaker 1: There was a big show. But he was also an
Speaker 1: actor that was in that movie One Floor with the
Speaker 1: Coogoo's Nest. Hey, that was That's one of my favorite movies. Dude,
Speaker 1: I love, I love He's not, he's not. That's crazy, Matilda.
Speaker 1: He did such a good job for Are you sure
Speaker 1: remember in one floor with the Coogo's nest talk about
Speaker 1: the old one, right, yeah, the one with Jack Nichols. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when when Nurse Ratchet tells them I don't want to
Speaker 1: see no more gambling all right? Oh when all the
Speaker 1: cars away and he's like, yes, mister, how we're gonna
Speaker 1: win our money back? I love that. I loved that
Speaker 1: foot always sending in Philadelphia. Yeah, that's what's funny as fucks.
Speaker 1: But the show that I watched now, like in my house,
Speaker 1: I never was Steinfeld ever, like growing up, I never know.
Speaker 1: First it just to me, look and I was telling
Speaker 1: your card this. I think as a latinos my sitcoms,
Speaker 1: which I didn't know there was out at the moment.
Speaker 1: I was just watching. But it was like that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not who would have known that that was such
Speaker 1: like like it was it was considered safe and it
Speaker 1: was funny to me as a kid. And even in
Speaker 1: the classroom, right, no, no, no, you're not about the
Speaker 1: one the one with you know for sure, but are
Speaker 1: taking a little classroom. He's like a little kid in
Speaker 1: the classroom No, they tell jokes in the in the
Speaker 1: class with that part of the sketch that might have
Speaker 1: been part of a sketch because they are Is this
Speaker 1: a sketch show? I think it's the other one. There's another,
Speaker 1: there's another one. It's similar. Yeah, and the T shirt
Speaker 1: was umberto Luna. That's what I used to watch. You
Speaker 1: would have the he's a Shrek in the Spanish. I
Speaker 1: think he had a sketch of of like him being
Speaker 1: like a vampire or something. Yeah, so I used to
Speaker 1: watch Everybody Steinfeld. I never watched it growing up, never
Speaker 1: watched it when it was on. Are you watch it?
Speaker 1: I was an adult? Did he like every day? You
Speaker 1: watch it every day? Every day? What did you think
Speaker 1: about what Cramer said? He was my friends were there
Speaker 1: when it happened, like wait, wait, wait, what do you say?
Speaker 1: He dropped the N bomb hard r Yeah, bro, where
Speaker 1: was it? La Factory? Yeah? Just went on a ran dog.
Speaker 1: He was it was crazy. He went't okay. It was
Speaker 1: bad that he went in the rant. It was bad
Speaker 1: that he went on that racist rant, but also bad
Speaker 1: that they let TMZ that was outside filming paaras the
Speaker 1: hilteam going to the club. Next door. They just let
Speaker 1: him in and they started recording him. Oh la factor,
Speaker 1: you let him in. Whoever running the door? Somebody recorded it,
Speaker 1: you know, somebody. They didn't have phones back then, that
Speaker 1: was that's wrong. A camera, that's a real camera recording that.
Speaker 1: You're not to record the phone. There wasn't There wasn't
Speaker 1: a phone back then yet right to record footage like that.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure there was search up the Kramer incident.
Speaker 1: Let's watch the video. We can't watch it on YouTube.
Speaker 1: He was he was being heckled by somebody, and he goes,
Speaker 1: Edward Edward, you know what we would you know what
Speaker 1: we do for you back then? We will put them
Speaker 1: something on trees about that, right, Edward Edward. But the
Speaker 1: people that were yelling yet, we're not the one that
Speaker 1: we're talking. So he's just going up. It was it
Speaker 1: was somebody else heckling him. Somebody else talking. That's he
Speaker 1: just looked up and went, okay, those are the people
Speaker 1: he just said. Profile the blacks were being loud. I guess, bro,
Speaker 1: do you do you uh? Have you ever had to
Speaker 1: deal with the heckler? Bad? Yeah? A lady, bro, she
Speaker 1: got the city New Mexico. Probably she started like, not heckling,
Speaker 1: but she was. She got to the front of the
Speaker 1: stage and she was like had her arms hanging and
Speaker 1: then she kept yelling stuff, kept yelling stuff. Oh, I
Speaker 1: had a heckler. I was a woman, bro man. And
Speaker 1: she kept standing up and yelling I love you, I
Speaker 1: love you, you know at first, and she was all
Speaker 1: whacked out. Bro. Oh, she was all coked out. Bro.
Speaker 1: She was like, and I found out that she was.
Speaker 1: Her family was way in the back, and she's somehow
Speaker 1: like snucking all the way to the front and found
Speaker 1: an empty seat in the front and stand in the front.
Speaker 1: Oh that fucking bitch. She didn't even pay for the
Speaker 1: VP show. Yeah, so she was sitting right in the
Speaker 1: front in an empty seat. So she was she had
Speaker 1: with every other comics. Then Mike turning like, I ignored
Speaker 1: her for as long as I could, which was like
Speaker 1: forty minutes. Wow, what the fuckutes ignored for forty minutes,
Speaker 1: I did my whole act, my whole act without talking
Speaker 1: to anybody or no no crowd work. Then when I
Speaker 1: got closed, I set a light. Okay, man, bitche cocaine
Speaker 1: right here. Then she said like she started talking and
Speaker 1: was that your mom? Bro, I'll coke right here. Fuck no,
Speaker 1: that guy said. Everybody laughed, and then and then the
Speaker 1: security is already talking to her, and then she started walking.
Speaker 1: She pushed them away and she started walking and and
Speaker 1: she found she fell on somebody two times. Then when
Speaker 1: she finally got out, I said, that's fucked up, man.
Speaker 1: Now one person here bothered to help her up. You
Speaker 1: just gotta turned it on the crowd, Yeah, bother to
Speaker 1: help her up like you guys didn't even like assist her,
Speaker 1: to help her out her or even ask her are
Speaker 1: you here with somebody? Are you driving? Nah? Just get
Speaker 1: the fuck out of here, bitch. I heard back there
Speaker 1: said laugh with my pig partict and go see somebody
Speaker 1: and just somebody running the whole. So I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: but I feel like that person needs to get kicked out,
Speaker 1: the media out. I'm tuting You're right, I'm turning on
Speaker 1: the audience and it's fucking like you could hear like her,
Speaker 1: she's way in the bag. Fuck that bitch. Bro. That
Speaker 1: happened to me recently and my death sta on stage.
Speaker 1: He was a bad guy, because it's hard to be
Speaker 1: the bad guy. No, No, I just stopped on drying
Speaker 1: from being the bad girl because cause so I'm performing,
Speaker 1: she's lived. But look but look at some point, at
Speaker 1: some point she's like this. Look the girl's like after
Speaker 1: everything I'm saying, she's just like ratchet. And then but
Speaker 1: it wasn't more that she was bugging me.
Speaker 2: She was bugging the nice couple next to her, the
Speaker 2: nice the nice white couple or her one of their
Speaker 2: friends about tickets.
Speaker 1: Gave it to them. They were enjoying the show. But
Speaker 1: the girl was like lid kind of bumped the lady
Speaker 1: a couple of times, and I was like, that's the
Speaker 1: bitch that kissed me on the cheek.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then I was like and I was like, look, look,
Speaker 2: I don't want to kick you out, but you also
Speaker 2: can't be disrespectful to the people next to you, like
Speaker 2: because then you know you don't want people like like like, I.
Speaker 1: Get it if you're hecklean and he tried a couple
Speaker 1: of times and it doesn't work. I just hate this. This,
Speaker 1: This is what I don't like about it.
Speaker 2: Like, if you're in a heck go at least be
Speaker 2: funny or know your place, knowing you're don't just start
Speaker 2: screaming ship mid John.
Speaker 3: I would just say, don't fucking like food like their
Speaker 3: foods out here that they wrote their whole act.
Speaker 1: They're supposed to perform. What the fuck they're doing?
Speaker 3: And like, I feel like if a food just buys
Speaker 3: a ticket to try to be the comedian, what are
Speaker 3: you doing get on stage or something?
Speaker 1: Bitch? You know we don't he while somebody's doing that
Speaker 1: ship you're sucking it up everybody, This guy, this guy
Speaker 1: in Corpus. First of all, the shows already outside, and
Speaker 1: I mean like South Padre Island is like a hundred,
Speaker 1: but it's more with humidity. This show is outside. We
Speaker 1: were supposed to do that last year. Our green room
Speaker 1: was two r vs with AC. That's it, bro, there's
Speaker 1: nowhere else. There were no out to stay. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's the island, right, little island outside. Yeah, we're supposed
Speaker 1: to do it latter. I don't know why we did,
Speaker 1: and we should have done. It's hot. It's hot. Where's
Speaker 1: that it's it's it's literally an island in Texas. It's
Speaker 1: house that event, right, Yeah, people bring ice chest, there's
Speaker 1: like food carts on top, and it's a it's a
Speaker 1: good vibe. The chairs are a cement, right, But but
Speaker 1: they put on seats up there. This fool brought his
Speaker 1: chair and sad perfectly eye view of me and went
Speaker 1: at this roast me dog like roast me dog.
Speaker 2: And then I think you know what it is though,
Speaker 2: because I think people and this happened recently, what happened
Speaker 2: when I was there, like okay, well back three years ago.
Speaker 1: I think I think the problem is that people think
Speaker 1: that every comedian is the same. But in the middle
Speaker 1: of the act, bro roast me dog. Was man, the
Speaker 1: fuck out of here, b fucking that's the way chair
Speaker 1: over your ass and that and what do you think
Speaker 1: he come on? Roast me you did? And I know,
Speaker 1: like you're the only fool for a minute, bro, and
Speaker 1: do my show. Hey, but you know what chipped me out?
Speaker 1: Or we're doing the Greek theater. Shout out my boyfriend
Speaker 1: leaving man. He brought me out to the Greek theater.
Speaker 1: It was a great times. That was amazing. By the way,
Speaker 1: get much for that, bro, Bro, Bro, I seen you
Speaker 1: do a choke. Keep him mind he's performing for seven
Speaker 1: thousand people and one of the most legendary venues in
Speaker 1: la He said it took. The crowd laughed, and he's
Speaker 1: like that joke shocked up and it just moved on.
Speaker 1: I was like, that shit blew my mouth, like, because
Speaker 1: you know, most comics would be like, okay, let me
Speaker 1: just keep that to myself. I like how you stopped
Speaker 1: your whole show to be like, yeah, that joke wasn't
Speaker 1: really good. And the crowd was kind of confused because
Speaker 1: they were like, no, we liked it, and You're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did it though, you just moved hunting. What was
Speaker 1: when did you start comedy? I started comedy rather rather
Speaker 1: to rehab. How long were you in rehab for? I
Speaker 1: will rehab for a whole year? The whole year you graduate,
Speaker 1: bro the year a little certificate you're years sober. You
Speaker 1: showed that to the cops and they signed it. No.
Speaker 1: I felt bad when I married when my mouth to
Speaker 1: had that certificate in her room and back to using drugs.
Speaker 1: When I was going through a person, I would look
Speaker 1: at it kind of. I kind of like still got
Speaker 1: to go through it though, you know, fucking fault advertising.
Speaker 1: Were you like falt advertising? Were you like, were you
Speaker 1: actually actually you tell that's difficult, nah man? Were you
Speaker 1: like the funny hanging here? Were you the fun just
Speaker 1: needs to be Were you the funny food and rehab?
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, but I was funny, like I would tell
Speaker 1: joke funny, but those other people that were funnier that
Speaker 1: would say crazy stuff. Yeah, because you know, like when
Speaker 1: you talk about when you shure emotions and you're in rehab,
Speaker 1: you know you're supposed to like just listen. You know,
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to add stuff for someone's sharing or
Speaker 1: someone's talking about their problems. But then I will. I'll
Speaker 1: be there with a guy that was like fifty six
Speaker 1: years old, but that I know. Bro, this fool see,
Speaker 1: Like there's a guy telling you a story, and then
Speaker 1: the full people tell a story and then just remember
Speaker 1: that story and give you a nickname based on that story.
Speaker 1: That's fucking crazy. So he took call his solo twilight Zone.
Speaker 1: He didn't even know why wait why oh, because he
Speaker 1: would give you a nickname for your story because they're
Speaker 1: the peachy fucking twilight over there, right, because he said,
Speaker 1: he said, I'm talking about BCP and he woke up
Speaker 1: in Santa Monica. Then Griffith Park twilight On homesol, just
Speaker 1: call him twilight On based on the story based on
Speaker 1: one of the worst times of his life. Yeah, what's
Speaker 1: this Nick mean for you? I don't know, Bro, never
Speaker 1: heard of to my base. They was talking ship behind
Speaker 1: your back before, but we took play. He was, man,
Speaker 1: he's crazy. This guy. He told me his life story
Speaker 1: when I was like twenty twenty years old, twenty one,
Speaker 1: he was fifty five. He told me that he did
Speaker 1: eleven years straight in prison, man like San Quentin. Eleven
Speaker 1: years and then he got out and he was somebody
Speaker 1: a favorite in prison and he had to do the
Speaker 1: favor and he got locked up and he did another nine.
Speaker 1: Like he was out for sixty days and there were
Speaker 1: another nine. Fucking only sixty days out and you're down
Speaker 1: to do another nine, another nine. Nick clean food.
Speaker 2: It was just like a little vacation because he was
Speaker 2: already used to it. So when you go, when you
Speaker 2: want to go to the nine, it's kind of just
Speaker 2: going back to work after vacation.
Speaker 1: Bro. Like, I didn't even need him to give me advice.
Speaker 1: I just know that I want to be that fool, bro.
Speaker 1: And he was the cook. Bro. He was a cook.
Speaker 1: He would be making food and he would tell me
Speaker 1: stuff Like my wife she works in East LA at
Speaker 1: this rehab place, this rehab place, and he's not East La.
Speaker 1: I want you to go tell her high for me.
Speaker 1: I want you to give her a big kiss in
Speaker 1: the mouth, and I want you to fucker. And I said, what, Yeah,
Speaker 1: here's the East l A thing. She's hot, she's a
Speaker 1: white girl, she's blonde. He goes, you like her, give
Speaker 1: her a big kids in her mouth, to her a
Speaker 1: big chewy from the clan, to fun from the clan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about, broke, but that
Speaker 1: fourteen original bro like original old man, old man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he's and then fucking Anyways, I gotta rehab years
Speaker 1: later and he featly still in there and I want
Speaker 1: to go visit her finally Rochester, see if lonely dog.
Speaker 1: This is serious. So I went over there and I said,
Speaker 1: just going to say, your husband, your husband, I was
Speaker 1: in rehab with him. Should we He just told me
Speaker 1: to tell you how that's it and then he goes
Speaker 1: goes come back. He also said he also told me
Speaker 1: you're gonna give me a big ass kids, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna fuck you. So I just give her big kids
Speaker 1: right there? Bro. Yeah hot, You know she looked like
Speaker 1: bro she you ever seen you ever seen American meat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course. Yeah, you're seeing that woman that takes off
Speaker 1: the heroin out of her vagina and flushes it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so s up.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, in the prison he knew her. American me, Uh,
Speaker 3: how do you? How did you just kiss it? You
Speaker 3: just know she told me to go kiss you go,
Speaker 3: she said. He said, you're gonna give me a big
Speaker 3: kiss and she did.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh nice. I see felt like I can see
Speaker 1: my grandma. Fuck because I was like twenty, she was
Speaker 1: like fifty six, fifty eight. But anyway, so I would
Speaker 1: ask him how con you kiss her and then do
Speaker 1: the other stuff to her because she's probably doing it
Speaker 1: already behind my back and I don't know, but this
Speaker 1: time i'll know. And then when you come back, we
Speaker 1: have a lot to talk about. That's fucking correat. What
Speaker 1: the what were you addicted to a twenty crack? And
Speaker 1: he was like, ad to heroin? I see, I told you,
Speaker 1: heroin is the word I was telling heroin is the
Speaker 1: worst drug. I agreed with you. He would clap. He
Speaker 1: would make me laugh by going by. I always said
Speaker 1: something funny and he goes hot. This guy.
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, so you were doing crack? You were doing
Speaker 3: crack out twenty yeah, man, and where were you doing,
Speaker 3: like just on the streets and stuff.
Speaker 1: That was normal cragon people's houses or so we were
Speaker 1: smoking crackup recreationally with the with the homies. It depends
Speaker 1: what homies, because there's homies that they have a strip
Speaker 1: law back then that you can't do crack or PCP.
Speaker 3: Oh really yeah, but PCP. I've heard that's what they
Speaker 3: called water right, Yeah, juice juice. Oh, that's like the
Speaker 3: juice man, the smack man. Yes, that's supposed to be
Speaker 3: like foods off PCP are like, I think nothing wrong
Speaker 3: as fuck or something like that.
Speaker 1: I only see one situation of of PCP. I think
Speaker 1: a toy story and I just seen the full run,
Speaker 1: but the full run but naked in the middle of
Speaker 1: the street. You're trying to tell me your homie. Yeah. Me.
Speaker 1: When I was the Little League, I was like twelve
Speaker 1: or thirteen years old. Pee wee peewee's you know baseball.
Speaker 1: I have a coach named Bulldog and the umpire Rey
Speaker 1: Escallera shout out. He was on my podcast, and the
Speaker 1: assistant coach bro of your team or the opposite team,
Speaker 1: our team, Oh shit, okay, and we're all there, Bro,
Speaker 1: I was in a dougout, Dude. And then like he
Speaker 1: would he would always sit in the back of the
Speaker 1: thing of the of the bench of the dugout pecam Park,
Speaker 1: Boar Heights, and he would go, come on, guys, it's
Speaker 1: got a run going. And then with the well the
Speaker 1: batter is getting ready to bat. Okay, Chew, we just
Speaker 1: cant to you on the ball. Don't worry about what
Speaker 1: happened last game, motivating you, you know doing. Don't worry
Speaker 1: about what happened to well the bath to pass. Okay.
Speaker 1: So one day, dude, he just sit in there by himself,
Speaker 1: not motivating nobody. Dog. And then little little but little
Speaker 1: he just took all his clothes off by next to us.
Speaker 1: Why next to me? Grown man? Bro, first time I
Speaker 1: saw Harry Penis. Wait, so you're thirteen. This was sitting
Speaker 1: down next year. Yeah, and he's just and then we're
Speaker 1: all focusing in the game. But this is mid game,
Speaker 1: mid game, Bro. The game already started, man, But he
Speaker 1: had not given nobody advice. What any was it? Play
Speaker 1: a second? They don't play six. All the parents are there.
Speaker 1: Everyone's a year with well highs. Bro. The parents were
Speaker 1: not involved in our lives. Bro, those games were, Oh,
Speaker 1: how do you think Felippe is Philippi grew up? And
Speaker 1: that's a that's a different time, But Bro, I was
Speaker 1: the different times of parents were involved in your lives.
Speaker 1: They were at work, the game were at three or two, three,
Speaker 1: after school, four o'clock. But I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: too much about this, but I used to live across
Speaker 1: the street from the park. Bro, all right, and I
Speaker 1: talk about it my special My dad even go. My
Speaker 1: dad even tried to open a window to watch me play.
Speaker 1: But I can't back at the puncher, get the punchs.
Speaker 1: So like he was just like, you want a perfection,
Speaker 1: So he didn't. He didn't watch my game. So he
Speaker 1: took his clothes off and he started running the base's
Speaker 1: like this, bro, Like he didn't he hit a home run.
Speaker 1: He was yelling free, free, and his penis kept hitting
Speaker 1: his face. He'll be like free, free free, you know
Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait wait? So who stopped him? Oh man,
Speaker 1: not us, we're too little. Yeah, the umpire said, get out.
Speaker 1: He injected her. He ejected him. All the all the
Speaker 1: coaches that were there grabbed him, and they who grabbed
Speaker 1: him by the penis nobody, Bro, they didn't even call
Speaker 1: the cops. They did, they did, they did it, then
Speaker 1: they call the cops. They just I think they wrapped
Speaker 1: them with a blacket and tied them up. I don't
Speaker 1: know what they did, or took him away from the game,
Speaker 1: bro and grabbed his clothes. But now something like that, dude, ship,
Speaker 1: I think they'll close the park. But yeah, nobody talked
Speaker 1: to us and said, listen, guys, that right there is
Speaker 1: what happened when you do drugs. So what drugs was
Speaker 1: he doing? Do you think BCP the naked thing? When
Speaker 1: you get the story, so five, do to calm this
Speaker 1: guy down physically and imagine if it was if it
Speaker 1: was they were trying to punch him, he probably would
Speaker 1: have killed everybody's ass. Yeah, he probably would have left
Speaker 1: me about my ankles and started using swinging me around
Speaker 1: to kill people. Unlimited stamina, unlimited strength. Bro.
Speaker 3: That's why when I think of the Americans when they
Speaker 3: would go fight in Vietnam, they were given those who.
Speaker 1: Was like math and all types of ship the Nazis had.
Speaker 1: The Nazis had Hitler. Did you see Hitler at the
Speaker 1: Olympics tweaking the theory the blitz came from, right, it
Speaker 1: was came from the war because I don't know how
Speaker 1: old Hitler is when he was when he was the
Speaker 1: leader of the of the Nazi Party, but he was
Speaker 1: in the forties. I know he did. He used some
Speaker 1: kind of stymbulant, some kind of drug to keep his
Speaker 1: arm high. Forty three he was forty three, Bro, Bro,
Speaker 1: how long can you keep your arm like this? Not
Speaker 1: that high high Hitler? You know? So, so he would
Speaker 1: he would take drugs to keep his arm like this
Speaker 1: through the whole fucking parade forever, bro, And that without
Speaker 1: moving like this. If it's just tweaking like this, strength
Speaker 1: of power, no, never tweak, just do it like this
Speaker 1: because he was on drugs. But every once in a while,
Speaker 1: I'm not you will see him, you know, greet people.
Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure Hamilt that he would just give
Speaker 1: hell Hitler right. How do you feel about Muslim I
Speaker 1: don't know, brother, just a religion. I'm Christian, I'm Catholic
Speaker 1: right there, But you're Christian or you're Catholic. I'm Catholic
Speaker 1: or Catholic, but I'm going to church you anymore. But
Speaker 1: I know a lot of Muslim Bro, And I know
Speaker 1: the religion, I know the facts. I know that it
Speaker 1: all comes from the same story, Bro, that's just different variations.
Speaker 1: Like if you look at the Virgin Mary and Jesus right,
Speaker 1: that come from an old story from Egypt where where
Speaker 1: they have their own Jesus from back or no religion
Speaker 1: and there's no married too. Let me tell you, man,
Speaker 1: she doesn't like no Karen and Jesus Christ is not
Speaker 1: blue eyes either. I don't know that was but one
Speaker 1: some religions that just makes you wonder, man, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not going to get Mormons, you know, but they believe
Speaker 1: that Jesus walked in America. Oh I didn't know that. Yes,
Speaker 1: the food, the food said the food America said it
Speaker 1: to him. Bro, me too, because I just know the
Speaker 1: South Park part, I know. I'm really just I just
Speaker 1: watched South Park. It has to be the greatest of
Speaker 1: all time. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I just watched the episode of where the priests and histories,
Speaker 3: the priest and butters get really close and they just
Speaker 3: start kicking it and everyone's like, Yo, what the fuck
Speaker 3: is going on?
Speaker 1: And now my favorite ship is it was when Eric Well.
Speaker 1: I have a couple of favorite episodes. One of the
Speaker 1: oneses A looted to heaven, allowed to heaven so they
Speaker 1: can get caught Kenny, right. But but but the whole country,
Speaker 1: the whole time things is because they missed Kenny. But
Speaker 1: they know is that Kenny died with the ticket? Yeah
Speaker 1: that one, uh for Costa. I love chicken skin, bro Yo,
Speaker 1: I did, bro one time I did take the he
Speaker 1: were locked in. He was locked in. I love boiler
Speaker 1: local chicken skin like I just it was the last time, bro,
Speaker 1: just chickensk the last time. And you went and I
Speaker 1: just got a thigh, Remember, dude, I ate that ship.
Speaker 1: And I was like, this is fucking delicious. Dog. I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie for I'm needing more. I'm boiled come back.
Speaker 1: I don't know, really I didn't. I didn't really. I
Speaker 1: wasn't really working with their girl chicken. Their freight chicken
Speaker 1: was far but I didn't even like to grow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's good with it. But and the Midja
Speaker 2: one what oh and and was the Gulf from the
Speaker 2: World of war Craft one.
Speaker 1: But the Midja one, he's just laughing like words, They're
Speaker 1: like bully the bro him fighting a midge. It is
Speaker 1: the funniest ship ever. Like Eric Carmon just sees the
Speaker 1: small person and just starts laughing. Is the funniest. You
Speaker 1: can't say, minche, Yeah you can't. It's a derogatory term
Speaker 1: around fucking with the great word little person. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the correct word. That's the politically correct word for. Do
Speaker 1: you know any little people? Yeah, Tom fucking bad way
Speaker 1: is different to yours. Yeah, the little small person, I
Speaker 1: think it's I think he's hilarious. It's funny. I went
Speaker 1: to a little person wedding, bro, like, I know where
Speaker 1: you're going with these go ahead, go ahead? No I did,
Speaker 1: I went, I went a little was the reception small?
Speaker 1: That was a small gathering of his family. It was
Speaker 1: in a man He lives there in Naple Valley. It
Speaker 1: was in Napa Valley, so were the Was there a
Speaker 1: lot of little people there? No, just just the only
Speaker 1: he had His sister was a little person. And that's
Speaker 1: he had a twin sister, a little person. I think
Speaker 1: if I'm getting wrong, I'm wrong. Sorry. And his his
Speaker 1: wife grew up in Monterey Park on Hamborough was chortlast bro.
Speaker 1: She's a Chinese lady. And they met a little at
Speaker 1: a little person convention. Oh so she was little as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so was there from park at the wedding? No, but
Speaker 1: she's from Honerray Park. But she grew up with nothing
Speaker 1: but cho lass like they was the one that had
Speaker 1: her back. But she's a Chinese woman and she lives
Speaker 1: in crazy. Man, how's a portion of food that little
Speaker 1: person's wedding? I don't know my finger food. Everything's appetizing.
Speaker 1: Only that was a good man there they were. They
Speaker 1: were very hardcore Christian, so it was a very Christian wedding. Man.
Speaker 1: I mean, I love, I love. I haven't been to
Speaker 1: a wedding and I I can't wait.
Speaker 2: I ja CARDI gets married because I want to go
Speaker 2: to a Muslim wedding because the product that the Muslim Yeah,
Speaker 2: we're gonna have to wait till after his parentsly for
Speaker 2: us to get really blacked out hammered, because no, I
Speaker 2: think I have to.
Speaker 1: Like my cousin. My cousin just had a wedding that
Speaker 1: who had two? I had one for like the Muslims
Speaker 1: and then for the homies. What Muslim? Are you regular? Regular?
Speaker 1: Not like Sunnie Sunni or happy Wait? What the fucking Sunni? There?
Speaker 1: Different when there's sunny So like Iran, Iran. Most Iranians
Speaker 1: are she yea more than the one you gotta wear
Speaker 1: like the traditional cover yourself up. That's that's not the woman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so you are share your mom covers us up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just jobs. She's not pulling the cobbed out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's that's And it's just like most religion, his
Speaker 1: his version of his secular They could do whatever they want.
Speaker 1: They want to cover you, cover up, nobody judging you.
Speaker 1: Oh so you're like the most westernized with his religion
Speaker 1: is the same. He's the same as Saddam Hussein, who
Speaker 1: were he the he's the Sunni, right, So I had
Speaker 1: a joke about it, bro, what is wrong with you?
Speaker 1: Bring this thing? It's on the third four it's it's
Speaker 1: like a sign bag. I had a joke about it
Speaker 1: because sad who say is sunny? Right? And Jacardi you're Sunni?
Speaker 1: I guess so thanks for comparing me to the worst
Speaker 1: people in there. Hoppy right. It was happy. But when
Speaker 1: he was when he was taken out by the government,
Speaker 1: you know, when they found him and they put him
Speaker 1: to death. They hung that, they hung him, right, oh,
Speaker 1: ship they hung him. That's on YouTube and who hung
Speaker 1: and we did so I wrote a joke. I said
Speaker 1: they did so. Don was saying, well, the put to
Speaker 1: death today the shiats they didn't give a hiat Hey
Speaker 1: that I didn't know, joke, Broy. I didn't know. There's
Speaker 1: different types of they pray different When I did the joke, bro,
Speaker 1: I said that she as they didn't give a at
Speaker 1: and like only like ten people laugh at the crowd. Okay,
Speaker 1: that joke was too soon. Me. I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: If I didn't know the religion part of it, I
Speaker 1: would have not understood that joke exactly. Nobody, nobody something.
Speaker 1: You're gonna give jokes for yourselves. Have you have you heard?
Speaker 1: Have you heard that it's it's a close the door
Speaker 1: and tell him that she got tolam it's not working.
Speaker 1: Just close the door, just so you have you heard?
Speaker 1: Have you heard them about his children? The horrible right, dude?
Speaker 1: They players these foods were like the worst people in
Speaker 1: the fucking world. Dogs. Oh, you were kind of telling
Speaker 1: me about it, like, hey, search up, search up. I
Speaker 1: think his son's name is Cartel kids. Yeah, so search up,
Speaker 1: search up? Like what bad things did they do? Search
Speaker 1: out up? And who? Uh oh no, no, no, star up,
Speaker 1: sad down. Hussein's children these things. They were like killing
Speaker 1: their homies like all the time because you could. You're
Speaker 1: the power you have you can do anything. Dog.
Speaker 3: But like, this isn't like rapper power, This isn't like
Speaker 3: famous you your father is a fucking dictator.
Speaker 1: Yeah, bro that one will have parties, and that you
Speaker 1: have and that you're having parties. And then at the
Speaker 1: before everybody leaves, you tell us that some of the guest,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to stay with your wife. Your wife
Speaker 1: and your wife, what are you gonna say. You're gonna
Speaker 1: say no, You're gonna say no you want to die?
Speaker 1: No you're not, now you're not. But then how you're
Speaker 1: killed or something? At that general right, which one the
Speaker 1: one that you want to see with his wife? And
Speaker 1: I generally said hell or no? Oh the mark as
Speaker 1: bro so. And then you take me to tell your
Speaker 1: wife like you gotta go fuck this food. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: don't know if you want too? Do you want to live?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. It's like back in the day,
Speaker 1: back in the day, during medieval times, if you were
Speaker 1: king like you were Mohomi.
Speaker 3: Let's say you're Mohammy and they have a show on
Speaker 3: this is called The Great. If I'm king Fu, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna just walk around for I could fuck anything. Dog
Speaker 3: fucking tell you. I can tell you your wife. Have
Speaker 3: her in the room ten minutes, Papa. So I'm gonna
Speaker 3: fuck the ship out her. She's gonna go right there,
Speaker 3: fuck the ship out of you. But she can't say
Speaker 3: no foo, I'm king fu. Like that's why it was
Speaker 3: so bad back in the day. It was a power
Speaker 3: hungry let the king controlled everything. Like like if you
Speaker 3: were like, you're the guy that controls the horses, but you.
Speaker 1: Want to fall in love with a lady that cooks
Speaker 1: the meals, You're gonna ask the king first day.
Speaker 3: Okay, so it says who says is atrocities torture of athletes.
Speaker 3: He directed IRA Olympic Committee and national soccer team jailing,
Speaker 3: beating and torturing athletes with devices like iron nails in
Speaker 3: their boots type ship.
Speaker 1: Damn you know what I'm saying. Full least thods are
Speaker 1: statistic people worse than my mom. Can I ask you
Speaker 1: what was the crazy ship you've done while you were
Speaker 1: high on crack or the room service and not for
Speaker 1: a spoon and baking soda so you can smoke it
Speaker 1: to make it and then smoke it. My nose was bleeding.
Speaker 1: I couldn't take no more. Damn, my dad will go
Speaker 1: to a hospital. Is still a needle, but I want
Speaker 1: to go to a hospital. How do you? How do
Speaker 1: you you've you've stolen the needle from no, no, just
Speaker 1: saying like, what are we gonna do? Oh? Yeah, fox,
Speaker 1: I guess not injected. I don't know how killed myself?
Speaker 3: Do you do you stay up when you're on crack,
Speaker 3: like like yeah, yeah, times at the time, it's like
Speaker 3: it's just it's upper So yeah, five days and the
Speaker 3: most and you're not eating. You're not eating within these
Speaker 3: five days.
Speaker 1: I'm on the slim crack diet. I got two hundred
Speaker 1: pounds in a beautiful family in one week. The fuck
Speaker 1: call me now one eight hundred meet me in the corner.
Speaker 1: How did you? How did you even get into it
Speaker 1: when you were obviously when you were doing it, probably
Speaker 1: I think I just got bored real ship. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: one day you were just like fucking what's up? Was
Speaker 1: it like? Graduating from cocaine to that no doing no drugs?
Speaker 1: You went straight to cry what the fuck for. I
Speaker 1: was just drinking. That was like I was. I was
Speaker 1: not baby pot at all. Oh, I know what it
Speaker 1: is for. You got phomo because you're fell a sleep,
Speaker 1: so you're like, let me just do cracking. My brother
Speaker 1: was all kind of depressed at the time because my
Speaker 1: brother just got it shot and I broke it up
Speaker 1: my baby mama. So I was like hard time, hard
Speaker 1: times man. So I was at a house where the
Speaker 1: guy was already doing it, and he goes, man, when
Speaker 1: that when that thing cools off, let me try it.
Speaker 1: Because he was he was He didn't have a regular pipe.
Speaker 1: I guess he was smoking out of an apple. What
Speaker 1: the fun was a mechanic, so he had one of
Speaker 1: those ratchets, you know, like the oh yeah, so you
Speaker 1: get put a carburetor there and did it. Don't do it? Kids,
Speaker 1: I really bad. I can't believe you went straight to
Speaker 1: that like after like, yeah, I like you went straight
Speaker 1: to crack because because I feel like you built up
Speaker 1: I feel like my dad definitely do.
Speaker 2: My dad went from weed to coke and then probably
Speaker 2: to matt I think my dad script the crack party
Speaker 2: just went straight to crystal meth.
Speaker 1: My dad's here he's home. That wouldn't do drugs. No.
Speaker 1: History ended with Man, I got home and that was there.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't my brother. I never like got
Speaker 1: I quit. You know if I stop, I quit and
Speaker 1: I will get back quit. But I haven't done this.
Speaker 1: I haven't done stuff like that. And since two thousand
Speaker 1: and nine was give it up for bro also now
Speaker 1: also now just st Yeah, because because you burnt even
Speaker 1: drink all substituted it with veganism. You're vegan. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: worst I ever deal with tea two eggs the other
Speaker 1: day a while back. Ah, you eggs. You can't be
Speaker 1: vegain eating any because these your vegan powers. And I'm
Speaker 1: a tearing now, I guess why did you eat two eggs?
Speaker 1: There were no fucking I was hungry, dude, and I said,
Speaker 1: I looked around man, and I got the I got
Speaker 1: the panda, cleaned it up, put some oil. Let the
Speaker 1: oil cook. Then I put some butter too. I cracked
Speaker 1: three eggs. Then I saw on YouTube to pan Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: a little water and its closed it and I flipped
Speaker 1: them over, bro, and I got one of those giant
Speaker 1: flower tortillas and she made a great peal on it. Bro,
Speaker 1: and I hate it the way the hummer is. Bro
Speaker 1: loves hummers. I fucking love me too, Bro flavor brod,
Speaker 1: I never had it. Do you think hummus just comes
Speaker 1: with bro? There's flavors, garlic, halopenio. What is that? There's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of their food. It's not my thing.
Speaker 1: You're a fan of him, bro, Yeah, fucking hummus isn't
Speaker 1: even my food, you dumb bitch. You're all the same thing.
Speaker 1: And it looks like you're obviously a fan of food. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not free fried beans. Yes, like, get the funk
Speaker 1: out of here. But if we all this don't taste
Speaker 1: like fucking hummos, No hummas looks like throw you like
Speaker 1: gar bombs of beans. He doesn't even know what that is.
Speaker 1: He's on culture. He probably had them, your mom probably
Speaker 1: made them, and you ate it because you have to
Speaker 1: eat it. But the kid, I never like our bonzo beans.
Speaker 1: They're like, they're like this round and they put them
Speaker 1: in a soup. All they do is really just blend
Speaker 1: the funk out of it. I think the Nazi should
Speaker 1: as a kid was I think we talked about it
Speaker 1: and somebody, oh no, that's bad too. What is punkin bro?
Speaker 1: But green? Punkin green? One me chayote bro Oh. So,
Speaker 1: now that you're vegan, what's your favorite vegan food? Pizza Steel,
Speaker 1: Prince Street shout vegan flavor? You like Prince Street? I
Speaker 1: love Friend Street. I used to. I used to work
Speaker 1: by there, so I used to get that all the time.
Speaker 1: My mama will make a corsido, make a stew with
Speaker 1: beef and potato and everything, and then put that thing
Speaker 1: in there, bro and like that and that's your ruin
Speaker 1: homeo Oh yeah, man, it's like a like a pair
Speaker 1: of makes with a potato bro cha yota oh man.
Speaker 1: Also man, but paia bro Oh? Really, I like you
Speaker 1: like papya bro like you know, I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I used to have papaya soap. You lost that was
Speaker 1: supposed to like help your skin or some ship's. Also,
Speaker 1: if you have heartburn, like a heartburn and there's nothing
Speaker 1: around dry papaya works. How do you drive, papa? How
Speaker 1: do you know? Because my wife is she was raised vegan.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, damn, imagine not having a choice. Imagine dude
Speaker 1: on the road with the comics. Do you do they
Speaker 1: go in on their own yeah, man, like mar on them,
Speaker 1: do we on the roll or something? They will with
Speaker 1: me if I'm treating. Yeah, but that's tough because you know,
Speaker 1: like it's easier to find regular food vegan food, like
Speaker 1: a big cities bro, like the best place Philadelphia, man, Man,
Speaker 1: a lot of vegan food. What kinds of vegan food
Speaker 1: we're talking about? Like they have Billy Philadelphia cheese tapes
Speaker 1: over there, but there's a restaurant that makes it vegan
Speaker 1: and it tastes the same way. Yeah, Also veg City,
Speaker 1: all other comics that are wi they're also eating vegan
Speaker 1: food sometimes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like there's a tie like Asian food. Sometimes
Speaker 3: there's a lot of vegan those. They have a tie
Speaker 3: full vegan spot. It's like by the Beverly Center. That's
Speaker 3: it's a fucking crack.
Speaker 1: Like Fort Worth, Texas. There's a restaurant called Love for
Speaker 1: Forward Spiral Diner and rightfter they have nachos that are vegan,
Speaker 1: but they have flavors of nachos that have never seen
Speaker 1: even in regular meat. Like they make buffalo notch buffalo
Speaker 1: chicken nachos. Man, Oh that's not fucking right now, tell
Speaker 1: you man, it's but it's vegan vegan. It's fucking chips,
Speaker 1: A shipload of chicken nuggets cut up. They are all
Speaker 1: dipped in buffalo on top, right, and then they do
Speaker 1: the blue cheese dressing and they make sure not to
Speaker 1: put blue cheese chunks in it, and they pour it
Speaker 1: over it, and then they put all the other stuff
Speaker 1: like nachos around it. Then they poured like the fake cheese.
Speaker 1: But if you built with real cheese, same ship dogs,
Speaker 1: it's good. What the bomb bro, little carrots around it
Speaker 1: and onions. Define, that's my chicken, like good chicken. Was
Speaker 1: in Black Vegas after a show number when one oh man,
Speaker 1: I don't know two thousand and seven, no way about
Speaker 1: two nine yeah, because my wife and I were with
Speaker 1: this comedian from lat Vegas. He's a cool guy to
Speaker 1: hang out with DS Mackie, and I thought about want
Speaker 1: to eat like Loco and I know the spot dog,
Speaker 1: I know the spot, and I thought I was gonna
Speaker 1: take me too, Loco. No fool. He took me to
Speaker 1: this place in the Vegas and then in the hood
Speaker 1: and they have there and they have home, the home Deeple.
Speaker 1: But the home Deeple they had it was I think
Speaker 1: it's called Yeah you go in cybroil hot. They were
Speaker 1: sizzling chicken roch and they got the order, the family
Speaker 1: order of two chickens cut up with rice and beans
Speaker 1: and floored tortillas.
Speaker 3: Oh hell yeah, what dude, I just literally mean the
Speaker 3: homy ray Mundo. We went to the Venice Beach and
Speaker 3: went a boyfriend. By the way, it's not my boyfriend
Speaker 3: want to Peruvian restaurant?
Speaker 1: Low key, we've been we've been doing a lot of
Speaker 1: ship together and it's kind of getting weird, but whatever,
Speaker 1: so we went. We went to restaurant. We gotta we
Speaker 1: got a whole chicken to We got a whole chicken
Speaker 1: then bro the way the way Peruvians make chicken bro
Speaker 1: fucking good as fuck. Dog. They don't have a lot
Speaker 1: of cuisines, but the cuisies they do have that are popular.
Speaker 1: They're really good. Do they cook the chicken like Haitians
Speaker 1: like you just know the bone and pull it out,
Speaker 1: oh type ship? Yeah, they cook it like on a
Speaker 1: on a rot. So we just goes it's sizzling, it's going. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Did you know that chicken restaurant, the Haitian chicken restaurant
Speaker 1: right there on on ten Haitian restaurant. It was like
Speaker 1: then Diamond Street, neighborhood on Temple and and fucking fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't think Temple and Glendale. In the corner by
Speaker 1: the by the by the gas is a shell gas station.
Speaker 1: That's a real POLR wash car. No Temple, Elvarado Temple, Yeah,
Speaker 1: right off the one on one the McDonald's is that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I never know exactly what you're talking about. I never
Speaker 1: I know exactly where that's at, that burned down down Yeah,
Speaker 1: with the drawings and ship the first local life actually,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, is that the second one, because the
Speaker 1: first one on Alerrado by bye were you guys going
Speaker 1: right on your Yeah, that's weird, bro, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: The aral now I'm thinking about it. They saw a
Speaker 1: shot little chicken in that area, the local and then
Speaker 1: there's that Haitian man right and then yeah, and then
Speaker 1: it got to the street. The fast food place was
Speaker 1: known for their weird chicken, cherioke or something. You went
Speaker 1: next to the hardware store.
Speaker 3: Oh, Bernie, Barnie, there we go the card of that
Speaker 3: Bernie's talking about that ship, bro.
Speaker 1: It's good that nobody can replicate the flavor of that chip. Chicken.
Speaker 1: I then choice to put over the fries. Foh, I've
Speaker 1: been breaching about. I want you to tell him how
Speaker 1: much was that? Play? Like nothing but three bucks? Old you?
Speaker 1: And then and then felipe the chili cheese fries five
Speaker 1: dollars a big as barie chi yellow chili. The guy
Speaker 1: come through me going to give you a whole bang
Speaker 1: like this. I think this is crazy.
Speaker 2: How this Bernie is, and and the and the and
Speaker 2: when the restaurant was outside, the restaurant was outside, and
Speaker 2: then you would funk it and what happened like the
Speaker 2: person just stopped like it just wanted to retire, retired,
Speaker 2: The kids went to college, whether they want to work there.
Speaker 1: It was crazy actually, but gosh for you, you know
Speaker 1: how bad it was. The benches that had hold and
Speaker 1: tagging from like nineties. Oh across the street, bro that
Speaker 1: that Tai restaurant. The motherfucker were gambling on the side.
Speaker 1: Guess what, guess what is there used to be a
Speaker 1: famous tig spot and gets where's that now? Benton? And
Speaker 1: and sun set next seventy eleven? Hey, they would all
Speaker 1: the employee were gathering the bag eat better food than us.
Speaker 1: Remember they were playing cards that's that that that that's
Speaker 1: one of the best seven seafood spot. It's called Bangkok. Damn.
Speaker 1: I'm so down to go get some. I'm fucking sorry. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love, I love like. My favorite cuisines are Thai food,
Speaker 1: Korean food, and then Indonesian and then it's like America.
Speaker 1: So it's a place in city of terrorists, probably not
Speaker 1: city terrrists. It could be Linked Heights where they do chicken,
Speaker 1: but it's not like that. It's all red dinos. Oh,
Speaker 1: I love din Ple Flavor Barney. Yeah, but okay, I
Speaker 1: hate I hate the fact that I love the chicken.
Speaker 1: I love the chicken. It's no longer for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: dinos used to be really good. I feel like I
Speaker 1: lost the love for it, for I've never been like
Speaker 1: a like I could change for people in that area.
Speaker 1: They love that number one. But like I always hated
Speaker 1: it when the fries would get on the juice would
Speaker 1: get on the fries and it would soggy. Well, well
Speaker 1: that's the point of that that plate. I don't like
Speaker 1: that ship. Yeah, but it's not you can't understand enough
Speaker 1: in the Swish America. Your bitch doesn't like it. Actually,
Speaker 1: I could order it without fries. No, no, if you
Speaker 1: go over there without the chicken bean that wet, Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I could just because because because extra sauce on my rice.
Speaker 3: Like right there where you grew up, was that one
Speaker 3: of the spots before there used to be a place
Speaker 3: called Capitol Burgers, And it was like it was kind
Speaker 3: of like a spot where they would give you you
Speaker 3: would get fries and they flill up the whole bag
Speaker 3: with that. It used to be on Pico and like
Speaker 3: a little bit like a block after crunchhaf Oh, it
Speaker 3: was like a really famous spot on Yeah, right across
Speaker 3: you from there.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, okay, that's Dan, that's crazy. What was
Speaker 1: your what was your favorite chicken spot when you were vegan? Oh?
Speaker 1: But oh man, so many? Man, Yeah, I fucking love
Speaker 1: chicken food. I kn'fc churches, Bioneer, you have to be
Speaker 1: young now, bro, the fuck I want to it one
Speaker 1: time I was not used to it. I guess, well,
Speaker 1: you know what it is growing up eating good Bernie's
Speaker 1: Filipino chicken. You have a jolly beat and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is this Filipino chicken? Too? And then
Speaker 1: like Bernie Pops, I was thrown off by the house sweet.
Speaker 1: That ketchup was when a bit of chicken banana up
Speaker 1: I was thrown off. And I have friends that would
Speaker 1: make that soup that The pasta was a weenie already. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The spaghetti sweet, Yeah, I'm not a fan of sweet
Speaker 1: hot if that makes sense, like savory hobby. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like like chicken. I want to take like chicken. I don't.
Speaker 1: Somebody would give you a meatball pasta. But that saw
Speaker 1: the Extra Suite, You're like, hell no, yeah, and after
Speaker 1: off it would taste like that saw. I taste like
Speaker 1: Pritt Street. You're like, nah, nah, even have to be
Speaker 1: you are you? Are? You find of up on your pizza.
Speaker 1: I always pick it out. I always take it. I
Speaker 1: like the pineapple flavor, but I'm not gonna chew on
Speaker 1: that pineapple. Mmm. I think the pizza and I take
Speaker 1: the pineapple out of it. You know what's crazy? We
Speaker 1: need it, you know it's crazy. One time, I remember
Speaker 1: I was a kid, they ordered pineapple pizza and I
Speaker 1: was mad. I was like, but my mom makesas and
Speaker 1: you know they put a big ass pineapple in it,
Speaker 1: and I would eat it. She's like, you're just fucking
Speaker 1: picking the children want to be mad at what inside
Speaker 1: of harmon? Well, I don't, I don't know if this
Speaker 1: is you know it by heart, go ahead and say it. Damn,
Speaker 1: that's it. That's right there at the president the listing.
Speaker 1: Everybody makes it different though. Okay, yeah, well it's it's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, right, mustiple times. Okay, I look
Speaker 1: look up Cuban sandwich Caretta, but look the Cuban sandwich
Speaker 1: like Coretta, Cuban sandwich. About this Coretta is l A
Speaker 1: c A R R E T t A like Carettaca.
Speaker 1: So you're there. That's a that's an original. That's a
Speaker 1: Cuban sandwich. Bro, the original Cuban sandwich. It's cut that way.
Speaker 1: It's only that. That's my bread. It's ham and cheese
Speaker 1: and pickles and mustard. That's it. I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: get one. But it's like fucking ham, you know. So
Speaker 1: that's something only that's a chicken sandwich. Right, So the
Speaker 1: the delicious Gobana sandwich your mom makes. I saw it
Speaker 1: was having a video, right, and then Cuban started commenting
Speaker 1: on that you're the one you you you ate. He
Speaker 1: goes to look total looking his sandwich because because your
Speaker 1: Cuban sandwich. You're talking about has ham, turkey, fucking burger,
Speaker 1: patty more bacon, cheese. But they're also simple because they're poor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so the comment was that sandwich has ever. So that's
Speaker 1: that wich you because you do, you call Cuban sandwich
Speaker 1: making commos, we call it the common red. Everything Cuban
Speaker 1: neese right now is in that sandwich because they're commonist country.
Speaker 1: They're really porn ship. Yeah, trading bargo fucking your card always.
Speaker 1: We were talking about this your car, that's your stage name.
Speaker 1: That's not gonna say something. Yeah, it was your real name,
Speaker 1: umar Omar. Yeah, stick to your car, bro, Are you
Speaker 1: laughing so much? Bitch Omar Son fucking rob people's dobe
Speaker 1: and go hey, that was crazy how he was gay
Speaker 1: in the Wire? Yeah, man, it was a gay gangster Omar,
Speaker 1: Omar's coming, Omar's Coming, and who would walk around with
Speaker 1: a shotgun and then he would be whistling rob everybody.
Speaker 1: But he was his character was gay in the wire.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like the food from uh from from
Speaker 2: fucking from knoticles, the gay Toto Pancho definitely was just
Speaker 2: fucking a bunch of little boys.
Speaker 1: But he was a gangster. He was fucking little boys.
Speaker 1: Little boy but like like like young, but he liked
Speaker 1: them young tweeks. Yeah, yeah, like like like little right there,
Speaker 1: Yeah it is he's not like that. No more like that. Hey,
Speaker 1: you've been in the comic game for a long time.
Speaker 2: Whenever I'm around like older comics, I always hear stories
Speaker 2: about like how you were kind of all mean to
Speaker 2: each other. And then I heard a story about a
Speaker 2: certain comic that would send other comics to go get
Speaker 2: their groceries.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's wrong with that? Get the fuck You are wrong,
Speaker 1: You're wrong, You're wrong. You ever had a food to
Speaker 1: push up so he could get some taste somebody? Sometimes
Speaker 1: I will do that. I don't care. I will do
Speaker 1: that for people. And then when I will get something
Speaker 1: out of it, like look, I will get to get
Speaker 1: like a milk. I was broke, so you would buy
Speaker 1: you would you would buy it? Yeah, So if the
Speaker 1: comedy had no money, I would say, man, if you
Speaker 1: want to man, I was gonna buy. I was gonna
Speaker 1: buy a orange juice and a loaf of break from
Speaker 1: my house. Okay, whatever you want, just bring it back
Speaker 1: to my house. But I wasn't like it wasn't. It
Speaker 1: was never like I don't know how the story shape,
Speaker 1: but it was never like, hey, motherfucker, you want to
Speaker 1: stay time, go fuck it, do groceries for me. We heard,
Speaker 1: we heard. That's when we heard it. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: the comic and it I'm gonna beleep his name. Come
Speaker 1: on back. What's up you guys. I want to take
Speaker 1: you about Pro Club or No Club. Baby, this is
Speaker 1: a squad.
Speaker 2: You've been seeing me and Jakata work with them a lot,
Speaker 2: and they just put us some photos of me and
Speaker 2: Jakarada and the little videos we've seen them.
Speaker 1: Please go fuck with Pro Club. It is one of
Speaker 1: It is d d D number one street brand, really
Speaker 1: for the streets, really for the people, very good prices.
Speaker 1: If you will spend over one hundred dollars then use
Speaker 1: my code in the description you will get free shipping
Speaker 1: and maybe some other stuff I'm involved in there.
Speaker 2: So go to Pro Club, Go to their website, go
Speaker 2: to the Instagram. They're also going to be part of
Speaker 2: our Life Show at the Novo. We're gonna be doing
Speaker 2: some merch with them, so please go focus them. Please
Speaker 2: show up to the Life Show, which your Pro Club
Speaker 2: merch pants, socks, hat, it's all those great things.
Speaker 1: Go to Pro Club. Put the link of my description.
Speaker 1: Find out how to win and get some free shipping
Speaker 1: right now, go to the link in my description. Shot
Speaker 1: out pro Club or no club. You know the fucking boys, baby,
Speaker 1: Oh that's what I'm talking about. The guy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: same guy I want. I don't know that dude didn't.
Speaker 1: I will drive him every I will go to his
Speaker 1: house and then I would get in his car and
Speaker 1: drive him bro drive him to the show and I
Speaker 1: will get a spot, and then at the end of
Speaker 1: the night, I will drive him back. That fool. I'll
Speaker 1: get this and go to home. Oh okay. Yeah. From
Speaker 1: when I heard, I was like, oh, ship, that's so
Speaker 1: fucking crazy. And when this other comedian bro that they
Speaker 1: were cutting on someone another comedian's grass watching his kids
Speaker 1: not get the fuck out of here. Yeah not me.
Speaker 1: I got my own kids. I don't watch, so you
Speaker 1: no look. And then I was and then we caught Jay.
Speaker 2: I caught Jerry in Aston and I was like, and
Speaker 2: Jerry was like sometimes there were push ups or like
Speaker 2: or one time, one time, one time, my greenment was packed,
Speaker 2: my greement was packed with a bunch of other comics right,
Speaker 2: and then Jerry was like Jerry was like, it's crazy
Speaker 2: to see the times change, because like back then, like
Speaker 2: if you.
Speaker 1: Were like maybe maybe the future, but if you were
Speaker 1: just opening food, you couldn't even be in the green room.
Speaker 3: I think that's why when we were in San Francisco,
Speaker 3: the comedian food, he was like he stayed downstairs, and
Speaker 3: You're like, well you could come upstairs, you could eat
Speaker 3: and get some snacks, like.
Speaker 1: You were being all the nice. And I remember last
Speaker 1: time when we were and I think we're staff from again. Uh,
Speaker 1: the comedians in the green room and these fools were
Speaker 1: like this, and then you were like do you foods
Speaker 1: want to eat or something? Yet, like are you sure?
Speaker 1: Are you sure? They're like yeah, they're like they're like
Speaker 1: they're like oh no. One of them asks me like, hey, brother,
Speaker 1: can I get a water? There's fucking seventy water there
Speaker 1: show though. Yeah, but those kinds of performing performing, they're
Speaker 1: on the show. They were there were there were openers
Speaker 1: that from that city and they were like doing five minutes,
Speaker 1: but they were on the show. Yeah, they're on the show.
Speaker 1: Legit didn't know, man, I thought they were comedians. That
Speaker 1: were not in the show. You know what I've had
Speaker 1: that happen before U.
Speaker 2: I think that happened to me Conquer and Jerry, this comedian,
Speaker 2: we none of us ordered food in This comedian ordered
Speaker 2: like a whole.
Speaker 1: In Houston. H But this fool was was this one
Speaker 1: wasn't on the show, and that fool was just already
Speaker 1: sadlers and ship and we're all looking at him and
Speaker 1: then we're like the waiter was commun named Moose Springles. No, no,
Speaker 1: that is different era. But but I didn't know the
Speaker 1: etiquette of like certain I just I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just didn't know any better. I think as I get older,
Speaker 1: Like I mean obviously like maybe.
Speaker 2: I want the green room a little ness packed a
Speaker 2: lot more chilling ship, right, But I didn't know, Like
Speaker 2: or one time I walked in and there was like
Speaker 2: two couches and the opener from that city was already there.
Speaker 1: I walked in. He got straight up and when it goes,
Speaker 1: when it just goes, stand by thee like he should
Speaker 1: have waited outside. You got there before he went. Okay,
Speaker 1: so there's is etiquette, not etiquette, but think about it,
Speaker 1: bro Like he's not headlighting, he wining the be room
Speaker 1: for because he's performing. No, no, but the techniquely room
Speaker 1: that week that belonged to Dunos. See that big stard.
Speaker 1: The waitress is gonna be serving talking to him first,
Speaker 1: the manager when he walked into the rooms, don't eve
Speaker 1: gonna look at him. You could at least wait for
Speaker 1: that food arrived. Wait, wait for the door. You guys
Speaker 1: heard that. Yeah, man and Jakarta dormers expect my startup.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no openers that I have no idea
Speaker 1: who they are. I sit down and I went to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and I waited a long time then and
Speaker 1: then I come out and they're gone. Bro, they're perform
Speaker 1: They're gone. They go out because I didn't they get
Speaker 1: their hit. I'm in a bathroom chilling now, doing my
Speaker 1: own thing in there. Oh yeah, I'm just You do
Speaker 1: that when you do that when on purpose? No I know,
Speaker 1: I know, But you do that on purpose?
Speaker 2: When when when when he walks in, there's an opener
Speaker 2: that he doesn't know there obviously like for hypothetic speaking rightfully,
Speaker 2: but like let's say you're in Houston and then I'm
Speaker 2: there too, but I'm surprised you go to You're not
Speaker 2: going to be like, because you know me, yeah, but
Speaker 2: if I was just a random comic, you'll be like.
Speaker 1: What the fuck. But if you're there with five fools,
Speaker 1: you bring any bitches, you bring weed because there bro
Speaker 1: so that is that is okay. I didn't know. This
Speaker 1: is this is comic that got a guest spot right
Speaker 1: ten minutes. I would just say, I won't say his name.
Speaker 1: He is a nice kind now he learned from his mistakes.
Speaker 1: He was a guest spot right on your on your show,
Speaker 1: on my show. But there's a guest spot that was
Speaker 1: giving her diet or comedy club. I don't care. His
Speaker 1: guest spot was given by the club owner and promised
Speaker 1: to him. So whatever, I don't care. That's cool. It's
Speaker 1: too late now, you know. They didn't ask me. So
Speaker 1: he said he has a guest spot. But this way
Speaker 1: where he went wrong. He should I was with Hommie
Speaker 1: and he gave him five minutes of his ten and
Speaker 1: then he and I was like, hey, motherfuckers, he gave
Speaker 1: you the guest pot, not this fucking loser right here,
Speaker 1: the guest spot. That's it. It like that, And I said,
Speaker 1: either you guys gotta fight for your ten minutes. But
Speaker 1: both of you guys are gonna go up and do
Speaker 1: five minutes. Fuck all that. So basically you you gave
Speaker 1: the food, answermatum, And what did he do? Did he
Speaker 1: take the ten? And I give to tell me? Oh
Speaker 1: that's how I was Lincoln's side. I never said none
Speaker 1: of this. But what happened was after I ever tell
Speaker 1: that guy for a guest spot or somebody African even
Speaker 1: go up, I would just say no from no one
Speaker 1: without it where confronting him about how wrong he was
Speaker 1: for giving his guest splitting his guest spot. Bro. One time,
Speaker 1: I give this guy a guest spot and then give
Speaker 1: his guest spot to someone else right there in front
Speaker 1: of me, Like it don't work that way. Transferable guests
Speaker 1: but not transferable here. You do the guest spot and
Speaker 1: that's it. He goes, I give I got a guest spot,
Speaker 1: and then he goes. Then little Run goes, hey, man,
Speaker 1: he's gonna go up? Who he's gonna go up? I faded, man.
Speaker 1: He knows you longer than me, and he really wants
Speaker 1: to go up. And I'm gonna yeah, yeah, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of head out that I want to look at
Speaker 1: him and going look at him and going like this,
Speaker 1: this business is very cool. Throw motherfucker. You take opportunities.
Speaker 1: When you grab him, you just give away your career
Speaker 1: away here. What if this guy kills the crowd is
Speaker 1: watching that this appoint never happened again anywhere in the
Speaker 1: comedy world, right, that would you give? You spend your
Speaker 1: guests by with this fool. I spent my time with
Speaker 1: him now just so you could come on tour and learn.
Speaker 1: But but but I don't. But if you were like
Speaker 1: if you were like something they renee vodka, I'll give
Speaker 1: you ten minutes. But like you batter know Rene doesn't
Speaker 1: know him but name, I'm gonna give me him medically
Speaker 1: drove me here and he gave me curry. What the
Speaker 1: was that? You want to know? Buddydy? You wanna fuddy
Speaker 1: story this? I love this story.
Speaker 2: One time I'm doing Auxnard Levity Live for recipes. Levity
Speaker 2: Live is no longer that no no, before you do theaters. Now,
Speaker 2: I say you don't know about the little clubs?
Speaker 1: Come on, man, you to be there me too. And
Speaker 1: by the way, they stopped the website up with my
Speaker 1: faith on the day I was supposed to do. People
Speaker 1: are like, hey about.
Speaker 2: Taking them like, I don't know why the website stole,
Speaker 2: but anyway, how do you say it's all on the website.
Speaker 1: They stopped their website, look, Philippins, I'm chilling, right, I'm chilling.
Speaker 1: Funny story, funny story where Marty, my manager, he's like hey,
Speaker 1: He's like he's like, he's like, he's like, hey, let
Speaker 1: them is coing. I heard that story for that joke
Speaker 1: that you call Marty party Coen. That's funny.
Speaker 2: Marty's like, hey, man, you want to do aux start
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I just did it earlier this year.
Speaker 1: They're like, well, they want you to do it in
Speaker 1: October again.
Speaker 2: Man, you did great, And I was like, I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to do it alone, Like I just
Speaker 2: I'm working on and then Marty's like, due with Jay.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So I get to the right before this, right before this, uh,
Speaker 2: somebody wants us to go visit the juvenile hall there
Speaker 2: by by the city of Auxtar. So I go meet
Speaker 2: my camera and as we go there, it's cool, man,
Speaker 2: it's vibe. We were gonna meet the kids, some of them.
Speaker 2: Some of some of those kids been locked up sins.
Speaker 2: They were fourteen, they're they're getting out at twenty one.
Speaker 1: Right, cool time. So you're at the Juvy, We're at
Speaker 1: the Juvenilele. I get to the club, nobody's there. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? I see uh Jerry walk in and
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, Darry, what's un Right behind him is
Speaker 1: Rold Regas, you know, yeah yeah, great hair, right, yeah
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. George Clooney, Yeah, autism a little bit. But
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. No, no, no, when you say autism,
Speaker 1: because you know he does look like you're seen how
Speaker 1: Superman two? No, okay, Superman two. But Chris Reeves, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's there these three criminals from Kripton.
Speaker 4: Right, oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah, and then the woman
Speaker 4: in that one Armenian guy in the middle, yeah, the
Speaker 4: ball guy, the one the ball guys a leader Okay, okay,
Speaker 4: because a woman.
Speaker 1: But then the one in the middle, he's like Armenian.
Speaker 1: He like this. I started up Superman. I know he's
Speaker 1: not going. Ray looks like yeah yeah show him bro.
Speaker 1: So we get oh yeah, uh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, now you gotta search something. Guy he's our
Speaker 1: Meanian bros. He okay, he does it like that, what
Speaker 1: the funk? Raised? Okay? No, right, so he breathed ray right,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like and then and then the manager
Speaker 1: comes in, Hi, Jerry, Hi, do you know Oh yeah
Speaker 1: I met him? Yeah, I know you met him. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: he's a good guy. He was good guy. He's cool,
Speaker 1: he's cool. He should take a flock to the hospital.
Speaker 1: And then we had migraines. Okay, right, So we get
Speaker 1: there and the manager like, hey, man, I want to
Speaker 1: get the line upbout all these two headliners, right, And
Speaker 1: Jerry looked at me and he was like, oh so
Speaker 1: I was gonna go first five.
Speaker 2: And then I'm like what And then I told Jerry
Speaker 2: was like what the buck at the point that it went.
Speaker 2: And then Jerry was like, I didn't really feel like
Speaker 2: driving today food. I'm like, I'm like, ship like that happens, fool,
Speaker 2: But he unders that it was cool, like it was unarmed.
Speaker 2: I know, there's like giving up your whole ten minutes
Speaker 2: is a little more crazier like that. But I thought
Speaker 2: it was hilarious, dog like, it was funny. I'm like,
Speaker 2: fuck comedies comedy one of those things too, where you learn.
Speaker 3: Shipping you every day, you know, you know how people
Speaker 3: were not on Instagram and TikTok. Let's say let's say
Speaker 3: that you know our podcast is going good. Let's say
Speaker 3: a person will go to do No and he'll be like, hey, man,
Speaker 3: how many likes? How many likes on this video so
Speaker 3: I could get on the podcast. If someone came up
Speaker 3: to you and they said how many lights on the
Speaker 3: video so I could get ten minutes?
Speaker 1: What would you reply to them ten minutes on stage?
Speaker 1: I would not. I would pretend I never read that, bro, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: up to you they come up to you with the
Speaker 1: video though, yeah, oh I've never seen that. Nobody, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna watch out for that. Then no, but but but
Speaker 1: what would you say? Oh if you go through the
Speaker 1: medic glasses and says what and he says how many
Speaker 1: likes for this video to get me ten minutes on
Speaker 1: stage with you? None? Bro, none? None. You have to
Speaker 1: be funny, man. You can't beat coming up. Yeah, Cray
Speaker 1: put him in a spot like that. Yeah, man, I
Speaker 1: want to say, this guy suck is how desperate he is?
Speaker 1: Who are your who are your? Who are your favorite
Speaker 1: comics when you were growing up? They're all dead? Word? Okay?
Speaker 1: Like who I like Eddie Murphy Man? Alive. No, IM sorry,
Speaker 1: I like running Dangerfield. He writes jokes real fast. You know.
Speaker 1: I like Stephen Wright. He's still alive. I just found
Speaker 1: out who. I've been watching a lot of Don Rickles lately.
Speaker 1: You know who that is? Yeah? Oh man, Yeah that
Speaker 1: was hilarious. He's like the king of insult comedy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Where that fo was that legit labeled the insult comedy?
Speaker 1: After he died, he just did comedy. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: think if he had that for that joke where he's
Speaker 1: talking about the Japanese doing in the crowd, he was
Speaker 1: doing the jap The funniest one three months looking for
Speaker 1: your Uncle in the fucking jungle. The funniest story about
Speaker 1: him when fran Sinatra was telling a story and an
Speaker 1: interview and on not too Night shows with with domb
Speaker 1: rincles next to him, because it really happened, he said
Speaker 1: that he walked up. It's like it's like a comedian
Speaker 1: walking up to you and goes as, I'm wanna bring
Speaker 1: my lady right now? Man, Can you walk up to
Speaker 1: me and say what's up? Man? And made me make
Speaker 1: me look good in a restaurant. In a restaurant, so
Speaker 1: you go to the table and go hey man, what's up?
Speaker 1: Hey man? Do know? Can you live alone? Please? I'm
Speaker 1: just chilling with my lady. Bro here cock plucking and
Speaker 1: ship the doctor come up, comes to the table and
Speaker 1: meeting my girlcles was on a day with a girl.
Speaker 1: Come say hi to us so I could look good
Speaker 1: in front of this lady trying to although he tricked him,
Speaker 1: he came up. He was like, god, damn, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to eat here. But Italian is never let people like yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, but really true and what happened in real
Speaker 1: life they don't talk about it in the video was
Speaker 1: well the name of Sinatra had to have full kicked
Speaker 1: out of the cause you know they carried him out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: over making, over making. It's weird, like a French Sinatra
Speaker 1: as somebody you cannot disrespect, you know, like you will
Speaker 1: see like comedians tell story about Sinatra, like the guy
Speaker 1: from Everybody wise Raymond ray Ramon's brother, Okay, the big guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: his brother does stand up in real life. They both
Speaker 1: do stand up in real life, right, So he told
Speaker 1: the story that he was opening up for Frank Sinatra
Speaker 1: and then like one night he said, they didn't go
Speaker 1: too well. So he goes, hey, if you if you,
Speaker 1: if you really like me, stick around for Frank Sinatra.
Speaker 1: But he had Bob he bomb that's like you going, man,
Speaker 1: if you fucking like me, you're gonna like Philipps. Yeah,
Speaker 1: even though comparing you fucking Bob. If you like me,
Speaker 1: you like Ralph, Yeah, if you fucking like me, you're
Speaker 1: gonna especially like rename. You know that that's the reference
Speaker 1: sucking this, it's a it's this. It's him trying to
Speaker 1: get a laugh, knowing that the joke is about to
Speaker 1: be that. Of course we're gonna like Philippe. Yeah, of
Speaker 1: course we're gonna like that. Said that to Frank. He
Speaker 1: said to the crowd, No, no, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: but he said it, yeah, if you like me, stick
Speaker 1: around for Sinatra, and everybody laughs. Right, But there's like
Speaker 1: guys there that are like there is fright Sinatra, who
Speaker 1: don't think that joke's funny? Wise? Man? Wise? Man? Why
Speaker 1: why guy? Why? Wise? Guys? So he said, Man, So
Speaker 1: I'm in my green room and Sinatra's on stage after
Speaker 1: the show, there's two big goombag walk up to me,
Speaker 1: the big Italian guys. Hey, what was this about? Stick
Speaker 1: it to Frank? Sinatra. What do you mean stake it
Speaker 1: to fran Sinatra? You said, if you like me, stick
Speaker 1: it to fran Sinatra. No, no, I said, if you
Speaker 1: really like me, stick around first, fri Sinatra. But what
Speaker 1: do you mean stick around? You don't think that fronts
Speaker 1: are not just better than you? You're going at first?
Speaker 1: Why would the crowd will not take around for nat
Speaker 1: is what we want to know. And they're tripping. They're
Speaker 1: tripping brothers serious, yeah, wise guys, bro he really the
Speaker 1: guys in their eyes, he disrespect your so he said,
Speaker 1: I turned into the the the scene from why Why
Speaker 1: you think you think I'm funny? And good Fellas? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's funny about me? So that's what it felt like
Speaker 1: on the table. Yeah, you know in the bar, in
Speaker 1: the bar, I when to Liverpool killed that food? When
Speaker 1: you think I'm funny, Joe makes me funny. Joe Patty
Speaker 1: tripping on the young food, so radio tripping on Ralio
Speaker 1: got the food, I think sopranos, Yeah yeah, it is
Speaker 1: the food is the produc Yeah that's when he shoots something.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, it is that scene. I don't want
Speaker 1: the scene when they're sitting down eating right and yeah,
Speaker 1: there's something you're right, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll go yeah. So that's what he felt like, bro,
Speaker 1: And didn't happened to me.
Speaker 3: Ship, I mean, I mean, Don Rickles has like this
Speaker 3: funny thing where he was It was at the Tonight
Speaker 3: Show too, and he was talking to Frank Sinatra because
Speaker 3: Frank Sinatra had like mob ties with them, with you know,
Speaker 3: with the Mob and Ship, the mafia.
Speaker 1: So he would come up to him and he said,
Speaker 1: he came up to him and he said, I don't
Speaker 1: want to interrupt the thro other show. This one came
Speaker 1: up to him and he'll be like he'll be like
Speaker 1: Bombino Bubatso had passed away. He'll be like Ralph the
Speaker 1: one he got shot on the lever, We'll talk to
Speaker 1: you tomorrow. Like he's giving him news about the mob
Speaker 1: and ship. Actually this fucking hilarious dog.
Speaker 3: He did the same time to Marris Scorsese had like
Speaker 3: a like an Awards show, what are your what are
Speaker 3: your favorite movies?
Speaker 1: Movies like The Big Lebowski. That's something I need to
Speaker 1: get into with the Coen brother movies. Like if you
Speaker 1: watch the Coen Brothers, it is like the Big Lebowski, Fargo.
Speaker 1: Do you search up the Coen Brothers. So if you
Speaker 1: watch all his movies, if you like he watched all
Speaker 1: of them. He leaves little pieces in his movies that
Speaker 1: you saw in the other movie, but all the movie
Speaker 1: don't even match. That's that's that's the one. I want
Speaker 1: to watch. No Country for Old Men. Yeah, the good
Speaker 1: one too. Yeah, that's what the Javier Bardam I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Javier Bardam, that was a fucking legend. I love that.
Speaker 1: Watch that. It's it's a bowling movie. It's a bowling movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah what Jeff Bridges. And who's the who's the older
Speaker 1: gentleman Goodman? I think, yeah, John good John Goodman. There
Speaker 1: you go. I fucking love that food. He's in No Country,
Speaker 1: he's not No Country pro man, but he's in.
Speaker 3: The Big Lebowski and he's in Brother We're out thou
Speaker 3: fucking Jesus going on a gold cast. Hey, this was
Speaker 3: this is crazy for all right here right here, Jeff Bridges,
Speaker 3: there you go. Yeah, you know what, the first time
Speaker 3: I saw this movie.
Speaker 1: I hated it. Oh ship, go down, go down, go down,
Speaker 1: go down. I know that's the food from fucking Sopranos. Too.
Speaker 1: Definitely like the character a little bit. Huh. That's funny, man,
Speaker 1: that that scene where he has his he has his
Speaker 1: his bathrobe right there, which the one in the start. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he fuckings He buys something for like ninety eight cents
Speaker 1: and uses his Ralph card to get it. This guy.
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy. I was watching a superstore and
Speaker 1: you were you were in it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like I was watching because you know sitcoms,
Speaker 3: So this is one of the sitcoms that I watched.
Speaker 1: I'm really I'm really fucking with this. The grocery store. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I forgot you were in the back of it. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: no movie.
Speaker 3: Your scenes are like fucking like your one liners are insane.
Speaker 3: But I fucking die. I was watching that show when
Speaker 3: I faded as fugamn that auditioned for that when when
Speaker 3: that show first was not a show yet. I think
Speaker 3: it's I don't know if Ruben Fleischer he's up one
Speaker 3: of the guys from the show. I went to have
Speaker 3: a meeting with him and I went to have lunch
Speaker 3: for him because I read for that part for the
Speaker 3: guy in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1: First, the one that the black dude does. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love that he got it, and then I came back
Speaker 1: and auditioned for a shoplifter and that someone else got it,
Speaker 1: and then I went back and auditioned for something else
Speaker 1: they didn't get it. Then I think that the third
Speaker 1: time it was for a a pothead, a loser drug addict, right,
Speaker 1: because the episode was like the episode was the mascot
Speaker 1: of the show, the Cloud. He got all drunk and
Speaker 1: all fucking crazy, bro, and they arrested that fool, right,
Speaker 1: So it was like a mascot scandal. So they were
Speaker 1: to test. They were going to test all the drug
Speaker 1: addicts and the thing in the in the store, Robert
Speaker 1: Born for this role. Bro, I've been trying to get
Speaker 1: away from from the fucking secret drug that worked my
Speaker 1: whole life. I found out day. Hey, Bro, call it
Speaker 1: sick because they will randomly select you, bro to have
Speaker 1: a drug test at every job, and those are the
Speaker 1: only times Bro. Whatever win Bro, Oh yeah, we're gonna
Speaker 1: have to drug test. I can't win the lottery, I
Speaker 1: can't win a raise, I can't win nothing but randomly
Speaker 1: selected drug drug test. I was always first. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1: So I read you, bro, like, can I leave early today? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have that I have that thing the thing. Remember
Speaker 1: I talked about it. What's his name? John okated? So yeah,
Speaker 1: he okay, did you and then you signed it? What? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You you signed remember not for reals get you down
Speaker 1: all right? You ever got far because of that? No?
Speaker 1: But I remember because that that those lines were like
Speaker 1: I felt like I wrote him. Bro. Yeah, who's the
Speaker 1: writer of that show? A flight? Shir and some guy
Speaker 1: name I got their names. Bro, there's a lot of writers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they all wrote. They all wrote for the office,
Speaker 1: so yeah, and they and they wrote. They have the
Speaker 1: same flow of the show rhythms. That's what I love.
Speaker 1: Rhythm and shows is to me, it's perfect. You watch
Speaker 1: Friends and Neighbors, My Friends and Neighbors. No, I've watched
Speaker 1: Friends my friends from college. No, you gotta watch it, bro.
Speaker 1: It's about friends that are friends. It's about It's a
Speaker 1: Netflix show. It's like a bunch of friends who try
Speaker 1: to be friends after college. But they were all friends
Speaker 1: during college. So if you don't know if you went
Speaker 1: to college, but it's about a bunch of friends who
Speaker 1: hang out after college who try to remain friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hilarious. This is a show or a movie there's
Speaker 1: a show. It's a show. Yeah, how many two seasons? Okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And if you like this show, there's another show. It's
Speaker 1: about friends from college who are now in their forties.
Speaker 1: So like the part two of this show will be
Speaker 1: a show called the Four Seasons. And there's a bunch
Speaker 1: of a bunch of friends and it's the same people,
Speaker 1: no different. There's about a bunch of friends who hang
Speaker 1: out and do vacations together, but like similar story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then if you like those shows, you can watch
Speaker 1: family people hang out in rich areas like White Lotus
Speaker 1: three to White Lotus. You're not ready for White Lotus.
Speaker 1: You watch Friends from College and then you're ready for
Speaker 1: the four seasons. And after four seasons, you're ready for
Speaker 1: like more edgier shows like the White Lotus And I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, man, you watch them. You watch the three together?
Speaker 1: Do you even binge podcast with Felippees Barsa and his
Speaker 1: wife Lisa Asparza. So yeah, I'll give you the recipes
Speaker 1: and how to get how to get to White Lotus.
Speaker 1: You watch Friends with College, then you watch the four
Speaker 1: seasons seasons on Netflix, then you go watch on HBO.
Speaker 1: You're ready, bro, you've been learned.
Speaker 3: Have you seen any HBO is definitely for Have you
Speaker 3: seen Yeah, no ship. Have you ever seen any Danny
Speaker 3: McBride shows like Vice Principals or I Bounding Down?
Speaker 1: I started first movie first, the karate work fist with
Speaker 1: the Way, Yeah, the fist with Way. That's fucking golden. Bro.
Speaker 1: He's the first movie. Bro, That's what.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know that. He's a dude that wants
Speaker 3: to learned karate and he ends up getting a sense
Speaker 3: like the famous you know, the food.
Speaker 1: That make videos. He hit Brook, Yeah, hit me the
Speaker 1: truck him.
Speaker 3: And his dojo go to his show and then whatever
Speaker 3: they're kicking with this one in the hotel and it's
Speaker 3: Danny McBride's sense and all his little homies. It's like teenagers,
Speaker 3: you know, and they end up squabbling in the room
Speaker 3: and start fighting foods, and then.
Speaker 1: The line what's on where? Because they meet this for
Speaker 1: at the karate festival Yeah yeah yeah, And then you go, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: come go to my kicking to my hotel room. He
Speaker 1: talked Danny mcgride to come to my hotel room. But
Speaker 1: when he shows up, he shows up with like fucking
Speaker 1: three fools, bro, with his with his with his crew,
Speaker 1: a little meskan food that looks like you bro a
Speaker 1: foot fist way the little ass meskan dude. And then
Speaker 1: he shows up with the director of the show. Was
Speaker 1: it called uh oh man? And then something burg I
Speaker 1: know that that's go to cast down. Oh I love
Speaker 1: this food. Toby Hill, Joey Hill, there you go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Jody Hills in it too. Yeah, so that is
Speaker 1: so when they get there, he goes, oh, you're the
Speaker 1: guy from the the one tell me to do the
Speaker 1: karate thing? Right? Did you got to bring any hikes? Nah?
Speaker 1: I just brought on my homies right here. Get the
Speaker 1: fuck out of here. And they started leaving off sad Nah,
Speaker 1: just kidding. They remember brother? They they fucking beat up
Speaker 1: the fucking band. Yeah. I don't know if you can
Speaker 1: watch that, we can so so point is at the party,
Speaker 1: the band is like making fun of the teenagers, and
Speaker 1: this was like what what he starts that food and
Speaker 1: face and then what's the first one punches the little Mexican?
Speaker 1: What could bitch of squabble talk about Mescican fool's name?
Speaker 1: Who on there? Oh? Yeah, man, I see, I don't
Speaker 1: know how can boy the name?
Speaker 2: I love this Poxpress. Oh yeah, Bro, that's him that bride. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's funny because Dropic Thunder, Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder is
Speaker 2: my favorite movie. He's a Tropic Thunder.
Speaker 1: Express is one of my favorite movies of all times.
Speaker 1: When they fight. When they fight, the food swings first,
Speaker 1: boom boom, all his homies and he's the leader, you know,
Speaker 1: it's all these boom they don't come. They all get
Speaker 1: information like this and what was going on there a
Speaker 1: bunch of everybody, everybody, but everybody turns up. And then
Speaker 1: he fucking gets up, bro, with his fucking the truck,
Speaker 1: the main dude. He had two hot chicks, and he goes,
Speaker 1: do you can think you could just fight at my
Speaker 1: fucking hotel? Bro? To my party and fucking drink free
Speaker 1: beer or do drugs and then fucking beat up the
Speaker 1: fucking bad, fucking awesome mad And then look at that guy. Hey,
Speaker 1: get this guy more fucking beer. Then they're all partying, bro,
Speaker 1: And then and then I looks weird broke that Hi
Speaker 1: lo Loo dude, that look. I love this guy. Man.
Speaker 1: He's talking with a kid and he's fucking love you, bro.
Speaker 1: What's his name? The little kid? Jo tells his name. Bro,
Speaker 1: that's funny. Man. Like when they're about before they get
Speaker 1: to that party, Jody Hill, he looks at Julio, the
Speaker 1: little kid and the other little kid, and he goes
Speaker 1: like this, listen, man, Julio Houlio, Listen, we're gonna today.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a lot of drugs. Like and you
Speaker 1: guys are gonna stop me. I'm gonna do a lot
Speaker 1: of drugs and nothing that YouTube can stop me and Julio.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be talking about this later on, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll fuck you up. Looking the old man bro telling
Speaker 1: the little kids, it's hilarious game. Bro. He telled this
Speaker 1: little kid, little Dunos, I definitely had the haircut before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: telling you this, who are doing commedy that little listen,
Speaker 1: fucking Dunos. I'm gonna take you on the road with me.
Speaker 1: You're gonna drive. I'm gonna do a lot of drug
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a lot of bitches. He ain't gonna
Speaker 1: talk nobody, all right. That's literally exactly what happened. They
Speaker 1: were like they left to go to a karate festival.
Speaker 1: It's just fucking crazy, Bro, that's hilarious. Dog how about
Speaker 1: when that fool he can't pay him for the hotel
Speaker 1: and he had to start his corvette.
Speaker 3: That shit fun and he brings the boats with his check. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I know, that's just crazy. This food, because this food,
Speaker 3: I don't want to say. You should watch the movie.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious, right, like like somebody bring him their favorite
Speaker 1: comic home and then that fool goes have to sta
Speaker 1: with his wife.
Speaker 3: He brought he paid for the sensite food to help
Speaker 3: him out with his dog. The food comestays in the house.
Speaker 3: Focks is bitch, and then it's a great movie. It's
Speaker 3: a great movie. It's definitely a classic. I'd say, have
Speaker 3: you seen an observant report? Seth and then like Louis
Speaker 3: Penya's fucking crazy dog.
Speaker 1: My favorite part of that movie is when it's sad.
Speaker 1: It's sad man. That was a fair I think we're
Speaker 1: talking about a different observing report thee. Yeah, it's sad
Speaker 1: bro that one part Bro, when what he did he
Speaker 1: didn't He comes back before he leaves on the dates
Speaker 1: and he's getting ready to go and look he's like
Speaker 1: his mom is drinking and it looks and his mommy goes, mom,
Speaker 1: do you think dad left because of me. Definitely. You
Speaker 1: were born with problems, Ronnie, like special needs man, and
Speaker 1: your dad said, you know, he just couldn't deal with
Speaker 1: all that, you know, like sleeping with you and taking
Speaker 1: care of you, and he just laughed. But yeah, most definitely,
Speaker 1: Yeah it was because of you. That's fucking wild, bro,
Speaker 1: because then level before he leaves for the dates, he
Speaker 1: gets like he just sits and things about that one
Speaker 1: night for a long time, and then he tried to
Speaker 1: get his mom approval again to get him to say
Speaker 1: something political about him. Mom, you do I'm good looking? Well,
Speaker 1: Donnie role Ronnie. From certain angles, I would say it
Speaker 1: was the right light maybe. And then right there, brother,
Speaker 1: when he goes out with on a day with Anna Faris,
Speaker 1: and right there at that moment when he put it,
Speaker 1: he decided not to take his drugs no more. And
Speaker 1: that's he didn't take his medication no more. And from
Speaker 1: that moment on he becomes a crazy motherfucker. Yo, you've
Speaker 1: never seen that movie. Rogan is a security guard at
Speaker 1: the mall. Hey, but this will stop taking his medication
Speaker 1: and love dog like he's not treating he's tripping on
Speaker 1: everything dog. And the movie is a observing report, because
Speaker 1: that's what security was supposed to do, observing report. This
Speaker 1: one the fucking things he's in the FBI. Bro, he
Speaker 1: hitting people with skateboarding. Bro, it's crazy, Bro, fucking ship up. Bro.
Speaker 1: Tell me that that my father favorite part. Bro, and
Speaker 1: it gives that mess him that dude is he makes
Speaker 1: him number two. Tell me, Bro, you're my number two.
Speaker 1: Now tell me that you're my number two. Tell me
Speaker 1: my number my number two, I mean number two. Thank Ronnie.
Speaker 1: I always wanted that possession, man, but I don't want.
Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you and put pressure in
Speaker 1: our relationship. But thank you, Brian. You know who it is,
Speaker 1: fucking my companion. The food from the food from a
Speaker 1: Narcos No, what's that? Michael and Narcos and my opinion, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what's not forgot that he's the FBI. And would
Speaker 1: you ever do a roast me a rose like a
Speaker 1: roast for yourself? One? What like a roast? What you doing?
Speaker 1: It would have to be very profitable for everybody in
Speaker 1: order to do that, Like I would do the roast
Speaker 1: and people ROAs me, but it would have to be
Speaker 1: with a where the all the comics make sure they
Speaker 1: all get paid good. You know, it can be like
Speaker 1: no money at all. It has to be recorded for
Speaker 1: some pay per view make it profitable that the rational,
Speaker 1: random fucking roast where it's just an audience and we
Speaker 1: lose all that magic. Yeah, to be real. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it wouldn't have to be to be something that is
Speaker 1: done with for us, not like you bring not the
Speaker 1: comedy roles and Comedy Central I whatever it controlled where
Speaker 1: it's like all of us, you know, like Ralph Alfred
Speaker 1: in Vibrate Regressive if he's really down to get roasted too,
Speaker 1: no foods actually know me and then young fools like
Speaker 1: him hire some riders and really beat my ass. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could do it. Some highly sensitive
Speaker 1: it'll be. It'll be good man, because well right now
Speaker 1: maybe later. How about your forty five? I don't know.
Speaker 1: For I would if you ever do have a roaster,
Speaker 1: Mike me, I would love to be in it. Yeah, man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we do need someone to open the door works fucking
Speaker 1: me and stopping up for Jeff died back in the day,
Speaker 1: Back in the day. I just saw him at the airport. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was going to Hyenas. Oh nice. Yeah, he's tall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I always forget how tall he is, might be like
Speaker 1: six two. Who Jeff Died? Yeah, you work with him,
Speaker 1: we both work with him. No, we're just with you know.
Speaker 1: We just say that a lot because I see him,
Speaker 1: I see him on Instagram. We'll talk and then me
Speaker 1: and du know we're talking about all right. So I
Speaker 1: made this this jel I called him in concrete Instagram
Speaker 1: comedians like and I was always like, you guys are
Speaker 1: ruining the fucking game for us, for us real comics.
Speaker 1: I used to open up for Jeff Die. That's that's
Speaker 1: I just thought it was so funny. That's funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Jada doesn't think me in congre real comics. Now
Speaker 1: he does, and now I do. I've always thought, you
Speaker 1: guys are real comics. Don't be fucking weird. What do
Speaker 1: you do? What do you do? What do you do?
Speaker 1: Talk about? On stage? We just shoot, we just talked. Ship.
Speaker 1: We guys go on stage together or one at a time.
Speaker 1: So he does his forty five and then I'll get
Speaker 1: on for like fifteen.
Speaker 2: Technically, technically, I'm just I just bring up to do
Speaker 2: up there, to do like a little light party.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to do comedy he's not a comedian. Yeah,
Speaker 1: get out of here. Bro, Wait, you time crazy stand
Speaker 1: up there with a comedian and going up. But when
Speaker 1: you're after doing the forty five, do you ever like
Speaker 1: look at the clock and go fuck doing another thirty
Speaker 1: five up here? For sure? What time? Not so long ago?
Speaker 1: So it just goes slow. Bro.
Speaker 2: Now, the other day I had a showing downing and
Speaker 2: I was on stage and I was like, I have
Speaker 2: another hour here or like the other day, I was
Speaker 2: really tired.
Speaker 1: And in Modesto, we partied hard on Friday. We had
Speaker 1: the State Theater. Yeah we are fucking and beautiful. We
Speaker 1: got fucking trash. Yeah, we got trashed on Friday.
Speaker 2: We started show on Saturday and I was in the
Speaker 2: green room and I was just like this, and I
Speaker 2: was like, what about just kind of ring on, trying
Speaker 2: to drive it home.
Speaker 1: But I didn't. You know, you're not alone in those feelings, man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not alone. Sometimes man, it gets to you, man,
Speaker 1: like you know, you gotta you gotta turn it on
Speaker 1: for like forty five minutes. Sometimes you're like in a
Speaker 1: green room thinking about it, thinking that, man, what if
Speaker 1: the manager were safe And there's a ghast leak we
Speaker 1: gotta just take everybody else, you know. Sorry, and I'm
Speaker 1: slutly apologized. I'm so sorry. Man, there's a gas leak
Speaker 1: and went to clear these people out for the refund
Speaker 1: their money and what you fucking serious? All right, man,
Speaker 1: I guess you gotta. But you know something. You think
Speaker 1: that way because your men, you're lazy. You s a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure. Do you start nervous before shows? I
Speaker 1: got the Greek, Yeah, we're you nervous. Nervous, bro, I
Speaker 1: think you told me you fucking killed any bad thing.
Speaker 1: You told me you think it off his diggery for
Speaker 1: any back. Then you told me I'm trying to secure
Speaker 1: my five. I believe Remember you were like I think
Speaker 1: I think it was you.
Speaker 2: We're having a conversation and you're like the day you
Speaker 2: stop getting nervous because you don't respect the game like
Speaker 2: you you're never because you care about what what are
Speaker 2: your craft?
Speaker 1: And it doesn't work.
Speaker 2: When this fucking fat bitch in the back I'm about
Speaker 2: the headline, a big guy will be like, bitches, I'm like,
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up, brom I'm trying to focus because
Speaker 2: you don't understand the craft of putting like a joke together.
Speaker 2: You wanted to hit, and and then he's sometimes he's
Speaker 2: too motivational and he's like, hey, they're great up there,
Speaker 2: what more?
Speaker 1: What more? And I'm just like, oh my god, just
Speaker 1: stop talking to me for like five minutes. The pressure,
Speaker 1: the pressure go crazy. I don't know that's how you
Speaker 1: felt that something. You should speak up, bitch, snigger. But
Speaker 1: I'm not just you. He needs that. But sometimes shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Yeah, but he really needs that because
Speaker 1: if it was not there, then you'll be missed. Exactly. Yes,
Speaker 1: he doesn't know what he doesn't know what a good
Speaker 1: time is until it's gone. No, I do, no, I
Speaker 1: won about Have you ever added it showing regret? I
Speaker 1: didn't the day you have to do it at a show? Yeah? Man,
Speaker 1: that was where that's where we have. Saturday was already sodull.
Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, you went out of Friday. I was like,
Speaker 1: hell yeah. So that we did Friday birth and then
Speaker 1: we had the Saturday, so I was like, I should
Speaker 1: have just gone home right after. You have a bit
Speaker 1: when you gotta be there on a Thursday through Friday, Saturday,
Speaker 1: Sunday and the Thursday show is like, man, I ain't
Speaker 1: I got dressed up for this show, you gotta up
Speaker 1: for the next. I've been shows, bro, like where the
Speaker 1: Thursday show. I could hear the ace he go on, Bro,
Speaker 1: and I'm up there on stage. That's how empty it is.
Speaker 1: If there's if there's not a lot of tickets sold
Speaker 1: out a show to do the does do you just canceled?
Speaker 1: They gotta sell more more than ten to do the show.
Speaker 1: What the comedy store back in the day, if they
Speaker 1: sold tell they sold more than seven, more than eight tickets,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a show. But I never had less
Speaker 1: than eight. I just had like the flas one hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty and there's thirty five. That's happened to you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I just walked at the show man. See, I
Speaker 1: learned from watching the energy of the first comic, because
Speaker 1: when at that low and if you're a young comic,
Speaker 1: it's gonna discourage you, man for sure and right, but
Speaker 1: you got to think about it. Man, you just do
Speaker 1: ten minutes, motherfucker, get off. He should be worried about
Speaker 1: the guy doing forty five on this bullshit. So so
Speaker 1: the first guy the horrible set, he's thinking too much.
Speaker 1: Then the guy that normally kills with a hard twenty
Speaker 1: five bombs hard. And then I go up there, man,
Speaker 1: and I just lie to the audience. Bro, I said, many,
Speaker 1: welcome everybody. Thursday nine, Second show Man. The first show
Speaker 1: was packed. It was fucking craze. Go ahead, no dog,
Speaker 1: do it, Bron, I say, do it, Bro, Yeah, do it. Bro.
Speaker 1: First show was fucking packed. We were turning away people away,
Speaker 1: man oh man. And then I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: want to add a second show Man, but bad. We
Speaker 1: got to do the Second show Man three waitresses and
Speaker 1: we went home. We're doing it for the people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's hilarious. Now we were in New Mexico. Hyenas. Have
Speaker 1: you done that? One? Was the New Mexico Hyenas. No,
Speaker 1: I've only done the Route sixty six. Okay, I've done
Speaker 1: that one. Uh.
Speaker 2: New Mexico is like a weird city. It always sells
Speaker 2: out the day of for like the day before, right,
Speaker 2: and Andrea she sent me with my ticketcount, and I'm like, damn.
Speaker 2: We came out waiting New Mexico for this ship. And
Speaker 2: then the first show, the first show was still like
Speaker 2: the first show was light.
Speaker 1: On a Thursday. We had we had one show on
Speaker 1: a Thursday, and it was like like it was like
Speaker 1: what is that room holding? Drea? Like one was maybe
Speaker 1: like sixty people in there, and I was like sixty strong.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget you. Yes, a great show.
Speaker 2: And I remember being up there like damn it because if, bro,
Speaker 2: if you should do that club one day when you're
Speaker 2: just passing by great club, it's like you're doing it
Speaker 2: in a basement.
Speaker 1: That shit is tight. They only serve popcorn, like no
Speaker 1: food on that trip. I don't know. That was not
Speaker 1: the first club where I was having the show. And
Speaker 1: the city came and canceled the liquor license and no pass,
Speaker 1: no no no, uh fud, New Mexico. What do you
Speaker 1: mean they canceled the liquor license? What do you mean
Speaker 1: pay their license? Andre? What was it? The sanitizers that
Speaker 1: they had wasn't the one that was supposed to be used,
Speaker 1: so so they're not allowed to sell liquor. So the
Speaker 1: city came and while people were walking into the seat,
Speaker 1: the city came and just put a big sign closed.
Speaker 1: Oh shut that shut the fuck down. The damn they
Speaker 1: have a show is fucked. I'd be pissed.
Speaker 2: The last show too, Damn Sada Sanadreanna the nest to
Speaker 2: go get a bunch of bottle. Then we just gave
Speaker 2: people shots. Yeah, I mean I didn't expensive her needles
Speaker 2: like a bottle.
Speaker 1: Oh how many people were there? It was? It was
Speaker 1: a sold out show. That's sad duty. One hundred and thirty.
Speaker 2: Some people even left because then I brought We wanted
Speaker 2: to come sit here and see you watch do comedy and.
Speaker 1: Curry fucking bottles? Did you get? We got like four
Speaker 1: and there everybody just got like two little shots. Damn
Speaker 1: was kind of fucked up. Dog It happens full comedy comedy.
Speaker 1: Did unexpect to go? When when that is empty and
Speaker 1: the manager tells you about somebody that sold out and
Speaker 1: his Latino comedian, Oh we had fucking you know him, right,
Speaker 1: he sold out. They tell you like that, I won't see.
Speaker 1: I want but I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 1: to compare comics because a lot of great comics. But
Speaker 1: but they will do that. Man, Oh man, it's all loud.
Speaker 1: We had Dustiny Borrow last week. Well that's killed killed kill.
Speaker 1: I would hear like, oh man, it's so doub man.
Speaker 1: You didn't got to start out man, probably because last week, man,
Speaker 1: we had chunky ducky quack quack. That's a fucking killed dog.
Speaker 1: We had, we had to fucking we had the China
Speaker 1: man Mark Britain bro killing it. Yeah, that's that's happened
Speaker 1: to you. And there was at the Looney Band. We
Speaker 1: have the Looney Band, and and where were the oh
Speaker 1: Man the Looney Band? And in Kansas? And which you
Speaker 1: talk Kansas? Which you talk Kansas? And that that comedy
Speaker 1: club ran the comedy club like a genius bro like
Speaker 1: they stayed those Right, he's a guarantee start out Friday, Saturday,
Speaker 1: Friday Saturday. Right, you stay with your talk. I'm probably
Speaker 1: sure you do a sell out what you talk Friday
Speaker 1: and Saturday, one hundred and fifty people. Right, he could
Speaker 1: set it out. I know you can't, yea. But so
Speaker 1: the owner knows that. Yeah, but he will bring him
Speaker 1: on Saturday because he knows he'll sell out. That's he'll
Speaker 1: bring him on Friday. He'll bring Smo Smow somewhere to
Speaker 1: struggle for that Friday and Saturday, and and he'll give
Speaker 1: a bunch of tickets for free and start it out
Speaker 1: with that comic. So he'll bring Duno's Monday and Tuesday. Instead,
Speaker 1: we've exactly. But why would they do that, because because
Speaker 1: because because of percentage, because a percent he spend a
Speaker 1: percent he's just making all the alcohol money. Yes, so
Speaker 1: why I don't got to split the percentage of me.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like, it's like, why bring you on
Speaker 1: a like match money that I'm not going to be made.
Speaker 1: So my Monday Tuesdays are terrible. So let's say you
Speaker 1: sell out one fifty on Friday Saturday. On Monday Tuesday
Speaker 1: you might do fifty, which I never do nothing.
Speaker 2: And then on Saturday Sunder I can give away free
Speaker 2: tickets out still make my bar money and you only
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: You get a flat fee of a dollars whatever. So
Speaker 1: so me, we went there with Gabbrieg last years on
Speaker 1: a Monday, and I full sold on Monday and Tuesday.
Speaker 1: But we didn't. Like I was like us the story together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I was telling you, like my head, I was
Speaker 1: thinking that they could have just had him on Friday
Speaker 1: and Saturday. Yeah, it would have sold out, But that
Speaker 1: guy did he will bring the bigger comics on Monday
Speaker 1: and Tuesday, because it's why not? Yeah, why not? Because
Speaker 1: he why not having a Monday and Tuesday with a
Speaker 1: big headliner that can sell out the show. We'll make
Speaker 1: money on Monday and Tuesday, and we'll have a smaller
Speaker 1: show Friday Saturday. And it was right, Yeah, just like
Speaker 1: he'll give away tickets for the Friday and Saturday show
Speaker 1: for that guy and have do no sell out to
Speaker 1: a show on Monday and Tuesday, and that may he's
Speaker 1: making money the whole week. Oh what the fun if
Speaker 1: he would have put if we were to put small
Speaker 1: comedian on Monday and Tuesday. We know how open mics
Speaker 1: run on Wednesdays is always empty? Yeah, why not have
Speaker 1: a guarantee sold out show. Damn, that's kind of smart.
Speaker 1: Is that comedy club still there? The Lonely Man? What's
Speaker 1: your favorite comedy club? It is? Oh my favorite where
Speaker 1: the owner? My favorite comedy club is all the ones
Speaker 1: that are in the Northwest or like we're there more
Speaker 1: freedom man, like Seattle, Washington, Oh my god, Washington. What
Speaker 1: comedy club there? Back then it was called bill Leaders something,
Speaker 1: but now it's the Tacoma, WA Comedy Club, not the
Speaker 1: I just we.
Speaker 2: Didn't need this this week got you On Thursday, I'm
Speaker 2: going on Emerald City or the Casino is a comedy club?
Speaker 1: I think it might be in the casino. Yeah, is
Speaker 1: it a casino? And Drew and I don't even know,
Speaker 1: you know, she said, yes, oh yeah, I love that place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's a it's a casino, and you know, it's
Speaker 1: in a big mall area. Yeah. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of down to your mills. Yeah. Huge,
Speaker 1: like yeah, huge area. And then everybody parties that at
Speaker 1: the mall at I get that casino. Everybody, Oh that's bad.
Speaker 1: I was. I was next to a casino and there's
Speaker 1: a club generate fucking gamblers over here, and doesn't it terrible? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a club.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're a degenerate fuck too, you're de generate cocaine.
Speaker 3: It's okay, though, Like, what the fuck don't you say?
Speaker 3: She's like, we'll cut that part out. But but I
Speaker 3: want to know how to gamp. I just don't know how.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because Seattle is so legal, bro, Like, you're gonna
Speaker 1: have fun because Seattle is the only city where you
Speaker 1: could buy weed right here next door by a Q
Speaker 1: forty seven with hollow points suppressor on it, walk out
Speaker 1: with it, just show your ID and get an abortion.
Speaker 1: You know, are in the same area and buy legalized mushrooms. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Seattle's gonna be one of the first dates where you
Speaker 1: could kill yourself if you're sick.
Speaker 3: Side Yeah, so like you bring your whole fan. Second,
Speaker 3: if I'm if I'm if I'm Hella sick, and then
Speaker 3: I'm gonna die. I just wanted to cut it right now,
Speaker 3: you have your family come over, you'll kick it or
Speaker 3: whatever whatever, and then they literally injected you and then
Speaker 3: it's like a painless death.
Speaker 1: It's kind of smart. Yeah, if you know you can't
Speaker 1: go through it, bro, Like, you know, that's funny you
Speaker 1: saying that. When I was in England, they were protesting
Speaker 1: against that because they were going to try to make
Speaker 1: it a law in England. That's so weird. And there
Speaker 1: was people saying self assisted is still suicide. Self assisting
Speaker 1: is murdered. And then and then you gotta think about it,
Speaker 1: like the sick people are like, you don't know what
Speaker 1: the fuck. I'm Philly, but you know you gotta be
Speaker 1: scared though. You gotta wonder, like there's so many questions
Speaker 1: you're not asking, you know yourself, if we have our
Speaker 1: self administered deaths, you know you gotta last You saw
Speaker 1: how sick to the person gotta because there's sometimes. Bro,
Speaker 1: when I have a hemorrhoid, just kill me now, just
Speaker 1: fucking killing My ass is burning. Just fucking kill me.
Speaker 1: I'm not going abale to get in a plane. I'm
Speaker 1: won't be sitting sideways the old time. Just fucking shoot
Speaker 1: me now, Man, my fucking hemorrhoid. Bro, that should be burning.
Speaker 1: Bro Like, I have a hemorrhoids sometimes and then it
Speaker 1: gives birds another hemorrhoid. That's a ticket. Shit, Hey hers
Speaker 1: so much bro. Like, Like, if you never had a hemorrhoid,
Speaker 1: you're not a man. Man. We just had one together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you had one at the same time. Man. It's kind
Speaker 1: of girls with their periods sin up, you know. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that. I didn't know that that girl sink
Speaker 1: up with their periods. No, yeah, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: If all if a bunch of women live in the
Speaker 1: same house, they all have the same cycle. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was raised. I was raised by all women. It's weird.
Speaker 1: And and when there was a time and point where
Speaker 1: like my mom, my oldest dad moved out, moved back in,
Speaker 1: and it was all three girls and my mom and
Speaker 1: they were on their perier at the same time it was.
Speaker 1: It was a very bad time. I also wanted assistant suicide.
Speaker 1: At that moment, I was also imagine the abuse mentally.
Speaker 1: I was fuck papa once a month, bro, this full
Speaker 1: get abused once a month. I was called every single
Speaker 1: word other than my mom. My mom held it in
Speaker 1: the most, but I think I was called a couple
Speaker 1: of fat pieces of ships throughout the week. I grew
Speaker 1: up with four women in my house, three women, my mom,
Speaker 1: all women. Once a month, they will give me chocolate
Speaker 1: and then belitt on me because a lot of chocolate.
Speaker 1: You'll say that, try to get it women a menstrul
Speaker 1: cho both of the chocolate. Bro during the andre you
Speaker 1: beating chocolate when you get your period? What about you
Speaker 1: want to be like chocolate? I know what that's the
Speaker 1: point of that kind? Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 1: Why is that? Like? What does chocolate do? I think
Speaker 1: it's just like a comfort thing like a lot of
Speaker 1: girls do, like ice cream. Why are girls bitches at
Speaker 1: that time? Do you actually I'm fuking around, but I'm
Speaker 1: I don't think that way? What do you what? What
Speaker 1: are the Indonesian women bro? When they want any other period? Bro?
Speaker 1: What do they eat Indonesian food. Probably chocolate, bro, chocolate.
Speaker 1: Why are the women bitches because to buy chocolateate but
Speaker 1: instead of like every nationality have a chocolate she said chocolate, right, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: Indonesians do. It's white ladies. Probably Indonesies have a chocolates
Speaker 1: called start up b n G da'sh b n g
Speaker 1: that's does and cholate.
Speaker 2: That's crazyn't even bank during that time, a bang about
Speaker 2: a bank.
Speaker 1: Would be out of Yeah, look look that's it food.
Speaker 1: That's it fucking gas food by me one bro foo. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If I if I got always with the way it's
Speaker 1: foods everything way for food that was yeah, like when
Speaker 1: they like that, that would go. So my mom would
Speaker 1: get that sometimes from like they just I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: could get them. Then at cat no, it's a bank,
Speaker 1: bank is yeah, that's just gas. That would be hard.
Speaker 1: I'm wearing like the big robe and getting your period
Speaker 1: at the same time that happens. Bro, what Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: guessing food. It's not a robo. It must be sucking hard,
Speaker 1: being fucking Mexican and illegal getting your fucking period right. Yeah, man, Bro,
Speaker 1: my mom was on a period. I didn't know. And
Speaker 1: then I listening to the toilet, want the toilet because
Speaker 1: in the toilet paper area there was a lot of blood,
Speaker 1: a lot of blood. And I asked my mom, what happened?
Speaker 1: Somebody cuts ther more off? What's going on? Mom? I
Speaker 1: went with a trash cat. She was reading a book
Speaker 1: and which I'm getting a kid on that if soul?
Speaker 1: A lot of blood and trash can And then my
Speaker 1: mom told me a lie, and she told me now
Speaker 1: to tell my dad. But she didn't tell me that
Speaker 1: she was going through a menstrual period. Why did she
Speaker 1: want to tell your father? I don't know, because because
Speaker 1: my dad would have because then my dad would have
Speaker 1: to explain it to me if probably didn't want to
Speaker 1: save the conversation. Did you how did you find out
Speaker 1: about who? Did you ever get the birds and the
Speaker 1: bees talk? Nah? Probably every other kid in my neighborhood.
Speaker 1: I just got somebody pregnant. And that's it. Oh, that's
Speaker 1: actually in Jared's story as well. And Jared just got pregnant?
Speaker 1: Who Andrea Andre? And what do you mean just got pregnant?
Speaker 1: She's pregnant a long time ago. How many months are you?
Speaker 1: I'm not pregnant, but I got pregnant when I was nineteen.
Speaker 1: It wasn't fourteen. No a good age to leave a
Speaker 1: kid behind. Do you do you ever? You have children? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How many? I had? Three? My daughter passed away last
Speaker 1: week of breast cancer in Sweden. Oh damn, I'm so sorry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're asking, get the fuck? Uh, don't do this
Speaker 1: ship like that. That's not fucking funny. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: so fucking like uncomfortable, bro, very serious. You know he
Speaker 1: has a family out there, right, you remember his story? Oh?
Speaker 1: Over there? What what I'm gonna repeat again? If you laugh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk out of the room, bro, I just kidding, Okay,
Speaker 1: walked out. My daughter lives in Sweden and she she
Speaker 1: had a metallistic breast cancer. Yeah, so she lives over there.
Speaker 1: You've been over there? She live? She No, she passed away, really,
Speaker 1: she passed away last week. I'm like, how you say grieving,
Speaker 1: you know, but you know it happens. You know, you
Speaker 1: go to stages where you grieve, you feel sad and
Speaker 1: like we are you laughing? Were you gonna yellow? Why
Speaker 1: do bitches die? White bitches kind of die? Did you
Speaker 1: hear the what was your question going with? How many
Speaker 1: kids you have? Oh? I have three No, I just
Speaker 1: have to Okay, Bro, okay, your car finished the question.
Speaker 1: I can't now, I really can't finish the question because
Speaker 1: the question had something to do with like that. Just
Speaker 1: do it, bro, go ahead. I was gonna say, do
Speaker 1: you ever get so mad at your kat you just
Speaker 1: want to kill I was just gonna say that too late, now, bro,
Speaker 1: But everybody goes through that stage. I'm pretty sure. Like
Speaker 1: my dad, I thought you wouldn't kill me one time too, man,
Speaker 1: One time my dad got so mad bro, like like
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Like he was hanging out with his
Speaker 1: friends drinking beer and I'll playing with a soccer ball
Speaker 1: and then I kicked real hard and I broke the
Speaker 1: neighborhood window and he saw and I got like and
Speaker 1: as soon as he saw, I said no, sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: And Spanish Pasha got me by the back of the
Speaker 1: hair like like this. That was he'll move He'll put
Speaker 1: his hand right here and then lift your ass and
Speaker 1: like this and then lift you up. So even if
Speaker 1: you try to move your head, you're making your head
Speaker 1: more so. He dow me in the house and he
Speaker 1: slammed the door and he was all drunks and he goes,
Speaker 1: come on, you know what the fucking window going to cost?
Speaker 1: And I didn't have a beout. He didn't look for
Speaker 1: about and then you couldn't find it. Something that hit
Speaker 1: me with, Bro, That motherfucker went to the washing machine
Speaker 1: and ripped that fucking thick ass metal ship from the back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and folded it right, folded it. And then my mom said,
Speaker 1: that's hello, show that's hello. And then she stopped him.
Speaker 1: But it still like ben brush. She hit me home.
Speaker 2: And then Joey about your dad is a nag where
Speaker 2: you cut him cheating but he got just walking the
Speaker 2: same day.
Speaker 1: I love that joke. We bonded, Bro, you look at
Speaker 1: each other? Is that real? Yeah? But it's sad, dude,
Speaker 1: like I caught him that one time? And were you
Speaker 1: at sixteen? Sixteen eighteen? I didn't say nothing. And one
Speaker 1: time Willie Barsenna and gabrieg Less we went to the
Speaker 1: casino just to go, yeah, so I'm morongo, Yes, I said,
Speaker 1: we were there and I yeah, and we saw my
Speaker 1: dad was another lady wall who you were with, William? Yeah? Bro,
Speaker 1: how were you done? I was like thirty something young,
Speaker 1: and those foods already had met my mom. They had
Speaker 1: told me my mom was fine in my fine Bro,
Speaker 1: my mom was hot. Bro, mama was hot, Like it
Speaker 1: was uncomfortable how hot she was. Because my friend was like,
Speaker 1: tell me stuff like you're lucky, brocky, this is my mom.
Speaker 1: That was my mama. I'll be talking to fuck kids.
Speaker 1: I have no barriers, Bro, they have no So my
Speaker 1: mom bro be jerking off to her all the time.
Speaker 1: You're lucky. Well, friend told you this, my little friend
Speaker 1: growing up, this little kid. And then when when my
Speaker 1: friend made my mom, they tried to say my mom
Speaker 1: was hot without saying she was hot, like I think William.
Speaker 1: One of them said, yeah, bro, your mom's a very
Speaker 1: classy lady. And I said, really, she doesn't have fucking projects.
Speaker 1: She let her hair grow on her legs. My mom
Speaker 1: was my mom has seven kids, and I pretty and
Speaker 1: she was beautiful, but I'm pretty sure she didn't want
Speaker 1: to have seven kids. I think every year she tried
Speaker 1: to look less less attractive to my dad, and she
Speaker 1: started growing her hair bro, and her legs was long,
Speaker 1: Bro that she was taking out her nylons. My dad was,
Speaker 1: you know whatever, Maybe I attracted my father now like
Speaker 1: beauty and the beast here when you say your father
Speaker 1: is an attractive male, Yeah, he's a he's a good
Speaker 1: looking guy. Bro. He too, he had all his hair
Speaker 1: to he died, bro, No fucking well ship hope espress
Speaker 1: to the next generation. So that was good looking, bro,
Speaker 1: Like he made my My mom told me that that
Speaker 1: was the first man she ever kissed one time, damn.
Speaker 1: And then my sister said, you fucked up, bitch. No
Speaker 1: wait so then, so then what happened when you get
Speaker 1: run into your dad with another girl? Oh? Man, so
Speaker 1: that's your dad said, nah, man, it is. It's well
Speaker 1: see and then we all walked there with my dad
Speaker 1: and my dad says, it's met me though, it's my friend.
Speaker 1: She's my friend. And then what'd you say? Okay, you didn't.
Speaker 1: This was for sure about it all the way home. Bro.
Speaker 1: Have you ever have you ever, like in front of
Speaker 1: your pops on something like that? No, no, none of
Speaker 1: my business a grown man does after you're really eighteen? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I about to say, you're in your dad, I mean,
Speaker 1: like you're my dad, right, I confront me, brought my dad.
Speaker 1: I'm confronting you. Yeah, I mean my dad answering you.
Speaker 1: Oh so I'm you okay, Hey, why did you shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up. I don't want to know what your
Speaker 1: fucking thing, motherfucker. I don't want to know what your
Speaker 1: fucking think. I know what you saw. You know what
Speaker 1: you saw. You want to continue this, I'll fuck you
Speaker 1: up right now. I will fuck you up. I will
Speaker 1: fuck you up. If your mom knows, I will fucking
Speaker 1: fuck you up, motherfucker fuck and now that'll be the
Speaker 1: torture you'll get every day, Like when you before you
Speaker 1: wake up, I will fuck you up. If you open
Speaker 1: your big fat fucking mouth. What would you do right now?
Speaker 1: If you call your if you call your dad, cheeting
Speaker 1: on your mom and I'm opening in a cand of
Speaker 1: wood pass that it was like four feet.
Speaker 3: Fus my mom, and like my dad's pretty old, but
Speaker 3: for that food, definite would never check on my mother. Honestly,
Speaker 3: What would you do if you caught? Okay, you're your siblings.
Speaker 1: How about this? You have a girlfriend? No right now?
Speaker 1: He does? Yeah, but if you do right, just and
Speaker 1: you've been together a long time kind of like rough
Speaker 1: but Bulls does go for there together a long time? Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: and whatever you like? His lady and him are known
Speaker 1: to each other. Yeah, but how long are we saying
Speaker 1: three years together? Everyone knows. Everybody knows that's your lady.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows you. Yeah, you're somewhere, bro you see it,
Speaker 1: lady kissing another man.
Speaker 3: I can tell you what I'm gonna do right now.
Speaker 3: Tell me, I can tell you what I'm gonna Okay,
Speaker 3: what's setting are we in?
Speaker 1: You're you're fucking a Starbucks getting a coffee on the
Speaker 1: way to take it to him, okay, and then you
Speaker 1: take it to her. Okay, But there's your city like this,
Speaker 1: but they're like this, holdeen hands. You don't know that
Speaker 1: that guy that Okay, So that's obviously okay. I can
Speaker 1: tell you do I have to drink already whatever you want, Okay,
Speaker 1: you have the drinker. So this first is what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do. I'm gonna take a picture so I can
Speaker 1: show this food. I confirmed it food. Realistically, I would
Speaker 1: throw that ship boom, just hit that bitch in the face,
Speaker 1: and then I wouldn't even trip on the foot. I
Speaker 1: would start hitting this boom because it's a betrayal. We
Speaker 1: can't control with Amando's because you don't know the man.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, that's not your Homi or nothing.
Speaker 1: But that's your bit, you know what I'm saying. Like
Speaker 1: your girl, it's her fault, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry. The repercussions have to be made. You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to get hit a few times again, Philly,
Speaker 1: But I'm chilling. So what happens when you do that?
Speaker 1: Nobody knows why you're doing this? It looks to everybody else,
Speaker 1: no one knows why are you doing this? You're some
Speaker 1: guy from the talent band who just show it up, Bro,
Speaker 1: crazy looking fool bro glasses who looks like for a kid,
Speaker 1: that dude that will getting that old man off and
Speaker 1: start at that gym. Here's that guy right now? Bro?
Speaker 1: I live lesbian cops. Bro. Yeah, okay, okay, Philipps Anonami happen? Question?
Speaker 1: I'm somewhere and I see Lisa with another man at
Speaker 1: a coffee shop. What do you want me to do? Bro?
Speaker 1: You do what you got to do? Bro, I'm not
Speaker 1: there for what would you do? Special? Like? Do you
Speaker 1: know what happened? Here's for Philippe. My brother, I saw
Speaker 1: a movie with my wife. Was this guy caught his lady?
Speaker 1: His best friend dog like this wants to be him?
Speaker 1: He wants to be him so bad he catched with
Speaker 1: another lady. You know what ends up doing He bribes
Speaker 1: her to have sex with him.
Speaker 2: So basically he's such a card and he's like the
Speaker 2: guy for a second, I got your bitch with another guy,
Speaker 2: but I really want to be you.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, look, I want to tell him, but
Speaker 1: you gotta fuck me. Oh this is in the mood. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she didn't want to. She wants to relate the
Speaker 1: murage to work mm. But then she ended up getting
Speaker 1: pregnant from that guy in Oh, she kept it from
Speaker 1: the best friend. Fucking horror bitch, hate your horn? Bitches?
Speaker 1: Have you been the good The movie is called The
Speaker 1: Good Girl? Have you ever been cheating on Bro? Hell? Yeah, Bro,
Speaker 1: that what made me evil? I got cheated on bro
Speaker 1: like you wouldn't believe bro. How about was the cheating
Speaker 1: bad Bro? Bad like Jennifer Aniston? Yeah? That movie The
Speaker 1: Good Girl? Even binge? Who's okay? Hold on? Hold on?
Speaker 1: Is who's the boyfriend? Who's the who's the husband? John
Speaker 1: c Riley and Jake Jilah finds out he fuck Jennifer Aniston. No,
Speaker 1: Jack gilgall is some crazy guy that she said she
Speaker 1: fucking works at the at the store with she had
Speaker 1: fucking that guy, the other guy Corney. No Tim Blake,
Speaker 1: keep going bad dude, fuck no Buba, that's him.
Speaker 2: Brown's she Rightley always with a bad he remember he
Speaker 2: remember step Brothers.
Speaker 1: He's sucking his uh, his brother, his brother's wife. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hey for that was the first time where I felt
Speaker 1: like horny. Yeah. No, not the first time, but that
Speaker 1: was one of the times I remember as a kid.
Speaker 1: I've seen it. I was like, oh my god, jacked
Speaker 1: off to that scene from Stepbrothers. I didn't jack off.
Speaker 1: You gotta see her in that movie Bad Moun's Christmas.
Speaker 1: She's bad as fuck. Yeah, oh my god, Oh wait
Speaker 1: her name we forgot her name? Her stepbrother Hannah's something.
Speaker 1: Oh I love Stepbrothers. She's bad as fuck. Dog Robert
Speaker 1: Btter not getting my face. I'll drop that motherfucker her right.
Speaker 1: There's up there, right here, Catherine Han, Catherine Han. I
Speaker 1: was all way off. She's alright, right there, Catherine Han.
Speaker 1: She's fine, bro, She's funny and everything all she'sious, hilarious.
Speaker 1: What else is she in? Let me see go back, yeah,
Speaker 1: go now, go down, go on. All those movies bad
Speaker 1: MOUs Christmas. Would you ever do a scary movie? Philip? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, bro, I played cool cool Dog, wrote my character.
Speaker 1: Have you have you ever been through something paranormal? I
Speaker 1: don't believe in that stuff. I don't, man, it's hard
Speaker 1: for me to believe in that. So you don't believe
Speaker 1: in ghosts. I don't believe people watched on water either.
Speaker 1: I don't believe in ghosts now. Man. It's just it's impossible, man,
Speaker 1: just it's just very impossible for me. I believe in
Speaker 1: that shit fucking hard.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, you know, Okay, but you're telling me, you're
Speaker 3: telling me you don't even have a family member that's
Speaker 3: been through some pet something paranormal.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you didn't believe I entertained a story.
Speaker 1: Really wow, that's crazy write a book. But I feel bad,
Speaker 1: like I want to joke about it and ship, like,
Speaker 1: how long are we going to continue believing in ghosts?
Speaker 1: You know? Because I know the ghals that my grandma saw,
Speaker 1: we're probably the most scary as goes in my hot
Speaker 1: and people with cantyn see right, and the ghost that
Speaker 1: my mom saw were probably scared. Nah, what kind of
Speaker 1: ghosts are you gonna see? Bro, Like you're gonna see
Speaker 1: your mom looking for a cell phone? Bro? Oh, I
Speaker 1: see what you're saying. Like the more modern, the harder
Speaker 1: it is hard to believe. Yeah, Like when I saw
Speaker 1: it was Graba walking around me go. But you're like
Speaker 1: people are on younger than you. Guys gonna see ghos like,
Speaker 1: oh my arphone, where's my fucking charger? Right there? Are
Speaker 1: you gonna see it? Is that a ghost taking a selfie?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I see what you're saying. Ghost are
Speaker 1: gonna been only fans only ghosts? Oh g hyppornals changed? Bro?
Speaker 1: Do you think so? Yeah? It's better now or worse before?
Speaker 1: Black or not? Way better now? Bro? Before before bro,
Speaker 1: like everybody knew you were a perverse everybody in your
Speaker 1: perfect you if you were into porn, because we like,
Speaker 1: there was no way to not anybody. There was no
Speaker 1: way to hide it, you know, because if you would
Speaker 1: have to go to a magazine shop, it's before computers
Speaker 1: and you have to buy an actual porno like a magazine.
Speaker 1: Oh so this was before the video store and everything,
Speaker 1: before vitto store. You would have to even a biddle
Speaker 1: store too. They saw you when you came in. You
Speaker 1: would have to fucking put Like the old joke was
Speaker 1: you would run three pornos and you put them in
Speaker 1: the middle, and then you put like the regular movies
Speaker 1: on top. You put like, oh, man, a little Mermaid,
Speaker 1: little weapon, little weapons weapons, Letho, the Big Mermaid, Finding Penis,
Speaker 1: Lola Tera. Well, then have you was born huh if
Speaker 1: you want your vegan porno being porno bro, a girl
Speaker 1: of farts out there, Man, I just cannot wow, Man,
Speaker 1: like wow, But you don't have to watch porn on
Speaker 1: no more, like you don't used to be like you
Speaker 1: have to be an actual porn star, like an adult
Speaker 1: film star. You would have to be somebody that didn't
Speaker 1: go to college or high school, you know. To be
Speaker 1: a porn star, somebody was problems at home and they
Speaker 1: were not rare. They were rare rare. Yeah, but now
Speaker 1: anybody could be a porn star. Bro, I follow sufficient
Speaker 1: porn stars yourself, because just a woman and her name
Speaker 1: a woman named Htown live Chetown, and her and her
Speaker 1: husband has random sex, bro, and they have only fans
Speaker 1: and they make money and they're like dirty, bro, They're dirty.
Speaker 1: So just so just images images. Hey, all right, hold on,
Speaker 1: this is tweeter her, her, her, her, Yeah, so her,
Speaker 1: she just lays down and her husband is like laying
Speaker 1: across the room. Was a massive penis bro like like
Speaker 1: like this guy probably don't even know how to read
Speaker 1: because that penis does everything for him. Like like this
Speaker 1: guy where we were loose sweats, it looks like he's
Speaker 1: stealing a jump rope, like like his vein on his
Speaker 1: penis is bigger than the vein on a snicker bar.
Speaker 1: Bro and her booty bro like humong is bro like, Like, dude,
Speaker 1: there's a video of her at the World Cup and
Speaker 1: it went viral the World Cup, right, and then they
Speaker 1: use that video for the Remove movie three minutes like
Speaker 1: three hours later. Oh ship, I figure got it, I say,
Speaker 1: I think doudos I love b Yeah. I got horny
Speaker 1: for she had big, old fucking taste. She was gonna
Speaker 1: invite it to my show. His husband though, because I
Speaker 1: have a cock like that, My ship's mediocre. It's like
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, bye, dick me too, Bro. My my
Speaker 1: dick is small, but it does a job of five dicks,
Speaker 1: so it's a hard worker. Bro it. We'll not quit
Speaker 1: fucking Mexican, right, Mexican bro. Hell yeah, Bro, you're thinking
Speaker 1: about anymore my day. He is not at home deeper
Speaker 1: looking for work, Bro, it's not there, Bro, A little
Speaker 1: little vest pointing. Have you ever done construction? Bro? I
Speaker 1: got five from a construction company for being the HORNI
Speaker 1: aest man there. I was like in my twenties, Like
Speaker 1: somebody will bend over and pick up a hammer and
Speaker 1: I'll fucking grind them. Bro. For real, dog, somebody has
Speaker 1: a push paddle full of cement and they can't let go.
Speaker 1: I will get behind them and hold their hands. Broke
Speaker 1: like gay ship all day long. Bro, by somebody with
Speaker 1: you know, burrito and I grab their hair like my
Speaker 1: memo to my memo horny dog all the time, Bro.
Speaker 1: Just harassing, harassing. But they were doing it too. They
Speaker 1: would get me too, bro. So so because I di
Speaker 1: did a Christmas party? Bro. Oh no, Bro, you want more,
Speaker 1: to want to know more, you gotta hear my said, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he said, but every time, but like someone somebody holding
Speaker 1: the water holes holding my Peanutsay, you know before before cameras,
Speaker 1: before people got mad harassing Because the first time I
Speaker 1: were at a job with Bi style, Bro, they were
Speaker 1: they were always humping me. You were being assaulted assaulted,
Speaker 1: bro essentially assaulted. Oh, don't let me get started. When
Speaker 1: I was to work in the kitchen, it was worse, worse, bro,
Speaker 1: because I'll be holding plates and this guy, Bro, you're
Speaker 1: gonna keep humping me brother and pass out their food.
Speaker 1: I heard, I heard it when you worked at the kitchen.
Speaker 1: Was it like an uh a big star restaurant or
Speaker 1: what was it like? It was a bi star by star. No,
Speaker 1: I was a Dodger stadium, bro. Okay, because the hommies,
Speaker 1: the homies are working like pretty high end restaurants.
Speaker 3: They tell us like all the food's over there. They
Speaker 3: be on you know, they just be all fucking tweeked
Speaker 3: out and fucking cooking the best for whatever they are.
Speaker 1: Brown, we're gonna dodge your stadium. The guy that makes
Speaker 1: the hot dog, he would be coked out, Bro, you
Speaker 1: guy that was making the hot dogs? Have you you
Speaker 1: know how big the Dodger dog is. You're gonna show
Speaker 1: it right now. Half half a doctor, man, that's still
Speaker 1: pretty big. That's pretty huge. No, my my thig is small,
Speaker 1: but it's fucking fat man like fat, like a like
Speaker 1: fat bro Like I it's small, bro, but it's dick
Speaker 1: like a door knob like dick like like you know
Speaker 1: some guys, I could feel it on the way up here.
Speaker 1: I never had to get that, bro, I feel like
Speaker 1: that you're fucking up my gates. I'm like you, I
Speaker 1: might have to need a new fans after this. My
Speaker 1: ship scrapes, bro, like like if you have girl feeding
Speaker 1: your vagina, I'm gonna scrape it off, like if you
Speaker 1: have a mole where a pairpoint is gonna be scraped off.
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna go deep, bro, I'm gonna just go.
Speaker 1: Your lips are gonna be chopped. It's some of the
Speaker 1: girl you were bitch. Oh man, that's killer. When's the
Speaker 1: first time you bought a prostitute? Never, bro, stop the
Speaker 1: lie you tell me you never bought a prostitute. I
Speaker 1: got robbed by prostitute. That's what you never bought one? Well, well,
Speaker 1: if you're never body paid for the sex but never
Speaker 1: got the sex part. So she robbed me, how did
Speaker 1: you she just left? Well back in the like, if
Speaker 1: you would call them up, it's like two hundred it
Speaker 1: will be two hundred and fifty dollars for just to
Speaker 1: show up, and then you would discuss more payment for sex.
Speaker 1: Some bullshit me and this will get a fly rate
Speaker 1: two fifty boom. Now the bitches are so good that
Speaker 1: everyone got bbls and ship. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Where do you call them from? What page? For your
Speaker 1: big sads? We go to more uh what the fuck?
Speaker 3: We go to more low key spots and just be
Speaker 3: random spots and you don't even look at it. You
Speaker 3: don't even know what's a brother. But it's a problem.
Speaker 1: We're more of a wanker guys.
Speaker 2: We're more getting a nice little massage yesterday, get robbed
Speaker 2: in the back and then and then and they get
Speaker 2: by your butt and then touching your balls, which are
Speaker 2: you're down or not?
Speaker 1: And then you just turn around and they wank your ship.
Speaker 1: I went to Hong Kong and Tijuana? So did we?
Speaker 1: Did you? Did you go to the place where the
Speaker 1: girl laying down and the in the bubble bath and
Speaker 1: they gave you like that that big ass drill with
Speaker 1: a with a deal? Do you, my friend? Yeah, we
Speaker 1: actually saw that the other time. Were real. Remember we've
Speaker 1: seen that it was bad the one that loved it. Wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: explain to me what it is? What the god for?
Speaker 1: There wasn't no bubble back.
Speaker 2: But we got to Hong Kong and then they're like,
Speaker 2: go to the next door because you know, Hong Kong
Speaker 2: is big there. And I go to the next room
Speaker 2: and the girl was just sitting by the poet and
Speaker 2: everybody was just hitting here with a fucking joy of dildo.
Speaker 1: Everybody took a turn and the do do just go
Speaker 1: in and out. That's fucking disgusting. There's a bothering experience.
Speaker 1: The girls were doing it too. They put condoms on
Speaker 1: dill do Actually pretty clean, that's no, it's just you're
Speaker 1: doing this in public. No size inside the club. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like twenty fools surrounding you, and they're just like, yo,
Speaker 1: there's more than that. There's more fools than that. I
Speaker 1: want to have a little bit no money. Just looking
Speaker 1: at the squeezing the peanut like this. Oh, it's just
Speaker 1: like not like that. That's nasty, nasty, huh. The way
Speaker 1: you guys say, like this road going like this, that's
Speaker 1: fucking crazy. Dog. I swear to God that that sounds crazy.
Speaker 1: But what the next time, bro, you see a wlod man?
Speaker 1: What the next time you see a woman walking into
Speaker 1: a plane or something. There was always one perverse, like
Speaker 1: they're trying to squeeze his peanuts to get a feeling.
Speaker 1: You watch the first Well have you ever heard about that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Were you a squeezer? Yeah? Especially like if like if
Speaker 1: you get Levi's right, the fire once you got that
Speaker 1: one button sometimes that top button, it's perfect, bro, on
Speaker 1: the tip of your peanuts. And if you're a woman,
Speaker 1: same thing. Man, if you're a woman, man, you get
Speaker 1: the fire with ones. Moreno told me you have to
Speaker 1: fire ones and you get that, you know right now?
Speaker 1: See right here, see this part right here sticking out there,
Speaker 1: Well on the real old fire ones. The bunchet is
Speaker 1: right there on the tip. And where are these fa ones?
Speaker 1: There's one, but there's zippers, there's trash, I fat mm hmm.
Speaker 1: So the button right, it's the right location. Bro. You
Speaker 1: have that button. It's hard and then you like you
Speaker 1: press it against a wall like that or something, oh
Speaker 1: against the do this a line? Yeah, man, but it's
Speaker 1: just when I'm at church, I want to get out
Speaker 1: of here. Howd wi we been here? Damn? The longest episode? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's up? Fold? Check out my podcast? What's a full podcast?
Speaker 1: Do you even? Binge? Podcast? My history for Fulls podcast.
Speaker 1: I don't know whether this airs, but I'll be in Greensboro,
Speaker 1: North Carolina tomorrow. I've been Greensboro, North Carolina this weekend.
Speaker 1: This weekend, I'm coming to Las Vegas. Baby, what are
Speaker 1: you doing in Vegas? I'm doing the MGM Grant inside
Speaker 1: of the MGM Grant Theater. When is that? September seventeen eighteen?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. Man, you put my dates better Flipping
Speaker 1: World dot Com? Oh? Man, and I went what Else?
Speaker 1: Oh do you even? Binge? Podcast? If you want to
Speaker 1: hear more about the movies I was talking about in
Speaker 1: the show what the podcast with Lisa as Partisan, so
Speaker 1: you know what they I think I think you might
Speaker 1: be doing. I don't think you're doing the Are you
Speaker 1: doing a weekday for the Vegas one? Yeah? My weekday also, man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in in Dallas, Texas with a rock
Speaker 1: barbossa oh for the blass and Carlos what's his name
Speaker 1: from the comedian Carlos Cody, Carlos from The Walling Out. Oh,
Speaker 1: Carlos Miller, Carlos Carlos. It's funny. I actually do comedy
Speaker 1: with Carlos Miller's brother, Carlo brother back in the day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's crazy. So you're doing the New York Comedy Club, Yeah, Stamford,
Speaker 1: baby will what other things? Can go to? What is
Speaker 1: can we go to? Let me see? Are you doing
Speaker 1: Rosses the six again? Six? Yeah? Tie oh the casino.
Speaker 1: It's funny, man, Like before, like I love before, like
Speaker 1: the people you you put out your tickets. Right, Let's
Speaker 1: say I'm gonna be in with Bro right this week.
Speaker 1: But we've been pushing this show for like months, right,
Speaker 1: moving nothing nothing moving right. Then I get to the
Speaker 1: day off and people people buying tickets the day of
Speaker 1: the show, Bro, like old school there and they show up,
Speaker 1: you know, somebody the ticket there to buy the tickets
Speaker 1: there or sometimes you know, like you have a lot
Speaker 1: of shows. The audience they see five shows, so they wait, Bro,
Speaker 1: they wait. They go, I'm gonna I'm gonna wait, man,
Speaker 1: because five shows, they're gonna sell out. But when you
Speaker 1: put up you're gonna be there Friday and Saturday, and
Speaker 1: you add, I wanna be there Saturday seven, Friday at seven, Bro,
Speaker 1: that you yourselves out. You had the nine Bro, you
Speaker 1: ad the nine shows to the other shows immediately and
Speaker 1: that she sells out. Yeah, that's kind of what we
Speaker 1: did with soccer man, right, right, So you put them
Speaker 1: all out and they're not buying dog, They're not fine.
Speaker 1: You're scared man, as I felt about that day right now,
Speaker 1: said at I don't know, I'm doing Mike jobs. Bro,
Speaker 1: you're gonna sell that out. They're gonna they're gonna be like,
Speaker 1: look at you go, man, I don't know another second show,
Speaker 1: but you're gonna sell it out. People are like when out,
Speaker 1: they're waiting and then and then there's all what people
Speaker 1: tend to do. They just wait, especially our crowds like
Speaker 1: Latino Crawls, Last Man and food. You get Fomo the
Speaker 1: first show. So one of your friends like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing today? I'm gonna do no show. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go fucking I'm gonna go motherfucker. Yeah, and then or
Speaker 1: or tell me that and before we get out of here,
Speaker 1: tell me that. She doesn't get too mad when they
Speaker 1: go like, hey, when you coming to Greensborough. I was
Speaker 1: just there yesterday, say that t B Bro. Somebody hit
Speaker 1: me up. Are you gonna be there? And we're gonna
Speaker 1: be there nine months? I was just there yesterday anyways,
Speaker 1: So I'm I went home from fun by Selia Right,
Speaker 1: and my stupid ass comedy ad is still playing bro
Speaker 1: and after the show re ended, Well what the fuck? Wait?
Speaker 1: What do you mean the ad for my comedy show
Speaker 1: is still play on the radio. The show re ended yesterday.
Speaker 1: Oh and where are you at August tonight? You can
Speaker 1: you check you anywhere? Yeah? You gotta talk talk there
Speaker 1: you are? Oh, he's you're fucking Orlando. What's we have
Speaker 1: our live shot with the Orlando impro No, No, some
Speaker 1: other place the plaza. I don't even know where is
Speaker 1: that anyways? Shout out Filippe as barsa go check them out. Greensburg,
Speaker 1: North Carolina, Carola this weekend. Me and Jakarta. We're in
Speaker 1: Seattle this weekend. And Denver. Shout out to my Philip
Speaker 1: Anthony Phillip. Love your kid, Love you Philip, Philip Philippe.
Speaker 1: Oh she's a junior. I have two kids, one h
Speaker 1: with Philip, one him with Philippe. For you couldn't be
Speaker 1: more creative. Yeah, I was trying to be like George Foreman. Okay, George,
Speaker 1: big George, we love you guys man. Make sure you
Speaker 1: check out Philippe. I will leave your link this link
Speaker 1: to Yeah. Please and and the bio. Make sure you
Speaker 1: go get the tickets. And Me and Jakarta was that's
Speaker 1: the perfect time. Fucking Me and Jakarta will be in
Speaker 1: Seattle on Thursday.
Speaker 2: At Emerald City Comedy Clan and then and then Denver,
Speaker 2: Colorado at the Oriental Theater.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be there, baby. We'll see you guys there, baby,