1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:05,559 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hey, is this Leah? 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 2: Yes? 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: What's going on? 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 3: Well? I am currently having a problem because I think 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 3: I have a problem with like talking people online. Okay, 6 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 3: I like made a fake account like two years ago, 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 3: and it's like still an obsession of mine. 8 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,599 Speaker 1: Hmm, what made you want to make this fake account? 9 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: And what do you do with it? 10 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 2: Okay? 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 3: So a long time ago, my dad has this girlfriend 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 3: that actually left him because he's fluck with She fleuck 13 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 3: with my boyfriend, and so I made an account so 14 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 3: I could like look at her profile and like see 15 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 3: what she like was saying about us, and she accepted 16 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 3: my friend requests on like the stake account. So I 17 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,320 Speaker 3: just like continued it and now I have like a 18 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 3: bunch of people on there. 19 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: Okay, So how long ago was it that you made 20 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: this account to look at your father's whatever's person's thing. 21 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 3: It was probably like late twenty eighteen, early twenty nineteen. 22 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: All right, so is a little bit ago, and what 23 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: do you use the account for now? 24 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 3: I currently log on daily sometimes more, and I just 25 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 3: like look at any posts she posts, and like any 26 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 3: of my friends, like my enemies. There's my friends on 27 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 3: that account, I guess, but like I look at whatever 28 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 3: they got going on. Like a lot of them post 29 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 3: like all their drama on there, so I can kind 30 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 3: of like get the inside details. 31 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: Is your dad still engaged with this woman or are 32 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: they done? 33 00:01:59,400 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 3: No? 34 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 2: No, they split up after she slept with my boyfriend. 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: Okay, and why what what what is causing you to 36 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: still be interested in her life? 37 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 2: I have absolutely no idea, Okay, but. 38 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 3: I think it's just the curiosity of it all. And 39 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 3: like she has like circles kind of close to my 40 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 3: circles of like friend groups, so I kind of just like, 41 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 3: you know, keep your friends close, your closer. 42 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 1: Your father's ex girlfriend has has a lot of mutual 43 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 1: friends with you. 44 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, well she was actually my friend. 45 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,839 Speaker 3: First, but like she didn't know my dad was my god. 46 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: Okay, uh, who what give me an example of another 47 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: person that you follow on here and what your relationship 48 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: to them is? 49 00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 3: Oh wow, I wasn't expecting that question. Well, I have 50 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 3: like my ex boyfriends girlfriends on there, or like my 51 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 3: ex boyfriends groommates, or like people that are like close 52 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 3: to the people that like have caused issues in my past. 53 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: Okay, and you you log on every day and you're 54 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:28,799 Speaker 1: looking at updates and photos and whatnot from Uh, your 55 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend's new girlfriend, her friends, his friends, your dad's 56 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: ex girlfriends, all these people you're you're logging in every 57 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: day and looking at updates from them? 58 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much? 59 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: And how do do you do you get strong emotional 60 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: reactions from these updates? 61 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 2: Sometimes? 62 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 3: Like when I see her doing the same things that 63 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 3: she did to me when we were friends to other people, like, 64 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 3: it gets me really mad because people don't see what 65 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,279 Speaker 3: I see in her, because she like showed her true colors, 66 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 3: so like to me, I want other people to see 67 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 3: her like that. But I'm not trying to like attack 68 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 3: her or like put her information on Facebook or nothing 69 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,919 Speaker 3: like that. Like I don't want to look like the 70 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 3: antagonists or anything. But I am curious, like how long 71 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 3: she's going to get away with like. 72 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 2: Doing the same thing to all these other people. 73 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: And your ex boyfriend? When did you break up with them? 74 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 2: Twenty nineteen? 75 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, b'go them three years ago? 76 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 2: Yeah? 77 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,359 Speaker 1: Do you still talk to them? 78 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 3: He constantly is trying different ways to like get a 79 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 3: hold of me, But we actually split up because he 80 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 3: was physically abusive, so and she was one of the 81 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 3: girls that helped me pack my stuff and get away 82 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 3: from him, and then like she went ahead and just 83 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 3: like moved in after moving me out. 84 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: And do you think about your ex boyfriend a lot? 85 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 3: I mean I have a lot of nightmares about him. 86 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 3: I have like diagnosed PTSD because of like a lot 87 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 3: of the ship. Oh, I don't know if I can 88 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 3: say that. Sorry, like he put me through Yeah, sorry. 89 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: No, no, it's okay, okay. And have you ever made 90 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: an attempt to have you ever considered deleting this Facebook account? 91 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 3: I want to, but a part of me like can't 92 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 3: let go of it, Like a part of me wants 93 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 3: to just like move on and like forget all of 94 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 3: that happened to me, because like my life has moved on, 95 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 3: but like my my emotions are still so stuck and 96 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 3: like that hurts, Like I got betrayal from like both sides. 97 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: What do you think is in between you and letting 98 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: go of this stuff? If you had to really really 99 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 1: put it under a microscope. 100 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 3: I think it's hard to move on because they're constantly around, Like, 101 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 3: for example, so and so might work with one of 102 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,839 Speaker 3: my family members, or this person I see every time 103 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 3: I go to the store because they work there, or 104 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 3: like I because I live in a very like small area, 105 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 3: like maybe twenty five mile writing, so like we're constantly 106 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 3: bumping into each other and so like I kind of 107 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 3: like to know where they're at, where their minds that. 108 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 3: But what I do want to let go of it, 109 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 3: but I'm afraid at the moment I do, like something's 110 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 3: going to get hurt. 111 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 4: Mm hmm. 112 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,679 Speaker 1: So you're running into just you know, as you're about 113 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: town living in a small town, you're running into your 114 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend's friends, You're running into people from uh you 115 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: know that that time in your life, and that's making 116 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,559 Speaker 1: it harder to let go. Yeah, all right, uh so 117 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: so let's let's get into now. Welcome back to this 118 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: Facebook account. But what is your life like now? 119 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 3: Well, I'm married, I'm trying to have a baby. I 120 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 3: have a lot of fertility issues, so we're it's kind 121 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 3: of like the. 122 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 2: Only option we have right now. 123 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: So you're married, Yes, does your husband know about the account? 124 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 3: He does, but he doesn't know like the details of it, 125 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 3: Like he doesn't know the name of it, or he's 126 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 3: not friends with it or anything, but he does know 127 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 3: it exists. But my whole family kind of plays off 128 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 3: as a joke. 129 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: But they not, just like you know whether or not 130 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: it exists. But does does he know the nature of it? 131 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: Does he know why you use it? 132 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 3: Yes, he knows that. I like look at people that 133 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 3: I've had issues with in the past, and I like 134 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 3: friend them and look at their stuff. 135 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: How does he feel about that? 136 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 3: Like I said, everybody kind of like plays off as 137 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 3: a joke. Nobody thinks it's like an issue, I guess, 138 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 3: But me, everybody else is like, oh, that's like what 139 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,439 Speaker 3: girls do, like their little FBI agents, you know, YadA YadA. 140 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: Interesting And do they know that you've been doing it 141 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: for three years? 142 00:08:58,840 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 5: Yes? 143 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but nobody else seems to nobody else it's 144 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: a serious issue. Everyone just kind of thinks it's like 145 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: a funny thing. 146 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody just kind of thinks it's like it's funny 147 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 3: that nobody's notice as a fake account. Yet, like I've 148 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 3: taken it this far and nobody like has picked up like, 149 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 3: oh this person doesn't even exist. 150 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, I'm interesting. Okay, But we know that it's 151 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: an issue. We know that you want to move on. 152 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if we if I've asked you this yet, 153 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 1: but do you do you have a desire to move 154 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: on from from all of this. 155 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I I want to delete it or deactivate it, 156 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 3: proferbly delete it. 157 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 2: But I have like. 158 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 3: Nobody to really like hold me accountable to it. Like 159 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 3: there's nobody that's like, hey, you should believe you should 160 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 3: believe it, like you should stop at it. 161 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm. I mean here's the here's the 162 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: great thing about this is that, uh, once you you can, 163 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 1: once you delete it, you can delete it forever. I 164 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: know that Facebook. Facebook does this fucking annoying thing that 165 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: they do on purpose where you can deactivate it, which 166 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: doesn't really do anything. This logs you out, but you 167 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: need to go in there and you need to de 168 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 1: elete it irreversibly. And you know, I feel like, and 169 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: this is how I felt when I've you know, had 170 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: had these these sort of whatever things with social media, 171 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,719 Speaker 1: where like, you know, if you ever find yourself in 172 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: some sort of emotional motivative state where you're like, you 173 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: know what, I'm gonna do it, I'm going to delete it, 174 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: take advantage of that and just fucking delete it right 175 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: in there, because because then when you are in that 176 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: addict d phase where you're like, no, I got a check, 177 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,719 Speaker 1: you will not even be able to. 178 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree with that. 179 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 3: I feel like I feel like talking about it is 180 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 3: the first stuff I've really taken where somebody's like acknowledged 181 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 3: that it's an issue because I've brought it up with 182 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,559 Speaker 3: like my gods before where I'm like, like, this is 183 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 3: kind of crazy, like I probably shouldn't be doing this. 184 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 3: But it all started when people were like giving information 185 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 3: on my Facebook out to these people that I don't like. 186 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 3: So I felt like, if they're in dating my privacy, 187 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 3: I should be able to invade theirs. But now that 188 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 3: I look at it, like. 189 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,839 Speaker 2: It's it's just social media, Like. 190 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 3: It's not a reflection of their real life or my 191 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,719 Speaker 3: real life. It's just what we're what we're putting out 192 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 3: for people to see. So is not getting any information 193 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 3: inside So. 194 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: Honestly, outside side of just like the nuts and vaults 195 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 1: of there's a Facebook account that needs to be deleted, 196 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: the larger issue is one of moving on from these people. Yeah, 197 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: which you know symbolically could be represented by deleting this 198 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: Facebook account, But even after you delete it, it's about 199 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: how can you move on and you have that you 200 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 1: have a whole life, you know, I mean the one. 201 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: The real way to move on from this previous time 202 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: in your life is to dive deep into the time 203 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 1: of your life that you're in right now. You are married. 204 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: How long did you say? How long did you say 205 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: you were married for? 206 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 3: It's been a little over like six seven months? 207 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 1: Okay, six or seven months? Are you happily married? You 208 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 1: enjoy your relationship? 209 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 3: Yes, I've never felt so comfortable with somebody or so 210 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 3: loved by someone, like we really do have great communication, 211 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 3: like a wonderful partnership. Like I'm incredibly grateful for him, 212 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 3: especially for coming into my life when he did and 213 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 3: how he did. So Yeah, he's great. 214 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So you're happily married. What do you 215 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: what are you doing? You sort of professionally on your 216 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: own outside of your relationships. 217 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 2: I'm I'm a full fum student. 218 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Okay, So you you have a life. Yeah, so, Lee, 219 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 1: you're happily married, You're enjoying your life? What? Uh uh? 220 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: Why do you think it is hard for you, if 221 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: you have a thing going on for yourself to let 222 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,199 Speaker 1: let everything in your past go? 223 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,679 Speaker 3: I think Okay, So going back to like the ex boyfriend. 224 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 3: Why look at his stuff is because like he has 225 00:13:56,480 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 3: a very large history of violence. So for me, I 226 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 3: feel like keeping tabs on like where he's at or 227 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 3: who he's with kind of gears me towards like, Okay, 228 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 3: stay away from these people this area, like and you can, 229 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 3: you'll be safe. But for my dad's ex girlfriend, I 230 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 3: really feel like there's not really a motive behind looking 231 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:24,800 Speaker 3: at her stuff anymore, Like it doesn't there's not really 232 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 3: a reason to look at her stuff anymore besides just 233 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 3: like the odds that I would run into her. But 234 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 3: the ex boyfriend, I definitely do it because like it 235 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 3: just makes me feel so much safer for knowing what 236 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 3: he's doing where he's at, because it took me so 237 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 3: long to get away from him that it just feels 238 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 3: like so much more comfortable knowing that he's like on 239 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 3: this side of town or staying around these people. 240 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: This is really difficult because you know, look, on one hand, 241 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: I really get you know, I get it, I get 242 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: while you're operating out of the sphere because you really 243 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: don't want to run into him. But I also I 244 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 1: just I hate hearing that you're living your your that 245 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: this fear is like policing your whole life and causing 246 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 1: you to, you know, be on this Facebook account that 247 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: you really shouldn't be on. Yeah, and I'm trying to 248 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: think of solutions for you. I mean there's a few. 249 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: I mean, look, if this guy really has done some 250 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: terrible shit to you, I'm sure you have the grounds 251 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: to get a to get a legitimate restraining order against him. Well, 252 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: I think that's actually I think that's a better idea. 253 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 2: Okay. 254 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 3: I was eighteen and he was thirty five. He was 255 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 3: straight out of like he just came out of prison 256 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 3: and he was like getting back on his feet, and 257 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 3: so we started dating. I have no idea what was 258 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 3: going through my mind. Besides, I thought an older dudes 259 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 3: would bring me like more stability, I guess. But one like, 260 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 3: it started getting like physically aggressive between me and him, 261 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 3: and one day, like I called my dad to come 262 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 3: pick me up and I never hung up the phone. Well, 263 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 3: my dad heard him hit me, so my dad came. 264 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 2: They got into a fight. 265 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 3: Like three months or three weeks later, my dad went 266 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 3: back there and fought them again, and my ex boyfriend 267 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 3: ended up having to go to get meta fled into 268 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 3: the hospital. And so because of that like I I mean, 269 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 3: I've tried to get a restraining order will their order 270 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 3: of protections in my county. But I tried to get 271 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 3: like an order of protection, but because my dad had 272 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 3: instigated a problem with him, like, they didn't want to 273 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 3: get involved too much with it. So they just kind 274 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 3: of told him stay away from her. You stay away 275 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 3: from him, because like it's already on police records and everything. 276 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 3: So if anything like really happens between us, I guess 277 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 3: those targets would be brought back up, but they'd be 278 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 3: brought up on my dad. So him, like him instigating 279 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 3: things with me could potentially get my dad in legal trouble. 280 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 3: But like he's always like literally up until I got married, 281 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 3: he was always like around and trying to like cause problems. 282 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 3: And so that's kind of when I started the Facebook 283 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 3: was as soon as I left him. Sorry, that was 284 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 3: a lot. 285 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: Sorry, No, no, don't be sorry. I mean this is 286 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: a mess, dude. 287 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 3: Story kind of help? 288 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: I know it does? 289 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 2: Story helped terify it? 290 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: Does? It does? It does? Because I think, you know, 291 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 1: I kind of go from you know, now that you 292 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,840 Speaker 1: give me this backstory, I I kind of go from 293 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: you know, she needs to move on to Now, Okay, 294 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,919 Speaker 1: this is coming from a point where this is not 295 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: uh you know, an ex that you're not over. This 296 00:17:55,400 --> 00:18:01,439 Speaker 1: is your uh you know, policing, uh you know, his whereabouts, 297 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,919 Speaker 1: out of out of out of your own you know, 298 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: fear for your safety. 299 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:14,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was my girlfriend at the time 300 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 3: when all that happened. And then she went and like 301 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 3: helped me move out and then moved all of her 302 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 3: stuff in like as like all of this like legal 303 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 3: stuff and this like all started erupting. She just like 304 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 3: up and left my dad and moved in. 305 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 2: With my abusive boyfriend. 306 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 3: So that's kind of like really why I started the account, 307 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 3: And I want to I want to like delete it, 308 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 3: I really do, but I'm so afraid that like the 309 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 3: moment I do, something's gonna pop off, even though it's 310 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 3: been for years. 311 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 1: Leah, let me. Can I ask you this too, Leo? 312 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: What what is? What the fuck is stopping you from? 313 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: And I know it's I know there are a lot 314 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: of situations where the answer to this question can get complicated, 315 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: and and I respect that, but I gotta what the 316 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: fuck is stopping you from leaving this shitty little town? 317 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 1: What the fuck is stopping you from getting out of here, 318 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 1: And I I hate, I hate, I hate the idea 319 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,639 Speaker 1: that this guy you know, I get it, you have 320 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: your friends here, you have your family here. I'm sure 321 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 1: there's a lot of reasons. I'm gonna let you speak 322 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,400 Speaker 1: in a second, but there's a lot of reasons why. 323 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,719 Speaker 1: And I hate the idea that you know, you almost 324 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: are you know this this guy is like, you know, 325 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: has the power to make you leave. I hate that idea. 326 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,880 Speaker 1: But what is stopping you from leaving? Man? I hate 327 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: this place. 328 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 3: We actually plan on leaving in next April or mark wonderful. 329 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 3: So we have like a little savings account that we started. 330 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 3: It's just it does us because like me and my 331 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 3: husband met here, so of course he has his family. 332 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 3: I have mine, but my family kind of we are 333 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 3: a different group of dysfunctions, so like we kind of 334 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 3: are all spread out. We don't really talk to We 335 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 3: talk to each other, but not like we used to. 336 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 3: So it's just like for me, we do want to 337 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 3: get out of here. We do plan on it because 338 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 3: it's a very toxic conservative like backwards town, like everything's 339 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 3: kind of corrupt. 340 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: I'm I'm so glad to hear that you're leaving, Leah. 341 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 1: I think I think you should delete the Facebook account. 342 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 1: I think that you should just focus on getting the 343 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 1: fuck out of there and if you get if you 344 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: just if you get anything out of this phone call. 345 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 1: Your brain is like wrapped up in all of the 346 00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 1: everything that that happens to you in this smallest town, 347 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,439 Speaker 1: and I'm just telling you, if you fucking get anything 348 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,119 Speaker 1: out of this, I want it to be that. Like 349 00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: you're so young, don't let your view of the world 350 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: and view of relationships be defined by what happened in 351 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: this fucking place. Just as soon as you can, yeah, 352 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 1: fucking leave it behind and go to a new place 353 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: and move on from this stuff and form a new life, 354 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: because you just can't. Your your life is too valuable 355 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: to be poisoned by a bunch of bullshit going on 356 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 1: with these fucking people that don't matter anymore. And you 357 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:53,640 Speaker 1: should just you should just leave and find a new 358 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 1: course for your life and delete that fucking Facebook account. 359 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 5: Thank you. 360 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 3: I'm actually sorry, I'm crying. I don't know if you 361 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 3: get that response, office, but right now good, I'm actually 362 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,800 Speaker 3: beleeting it. Right now I'm guiding to my password to 363 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 3: delete it. 364 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 1: Fuck are you really you're deleting it right now? Yeah? Good? 365 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 2: Please delete it. 366 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: It's about time, please delete it. Yeah. Yeah, you know, 367 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: when you give me that backstory, it gives me a 368 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: different perspective onto why you held onto it for so long. 369 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,880 Speaker 1: I hope that you have a real therapist, by the way, 370 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,479 Speaker 1: that you can, because I'm not I don't know how 371 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 1: to fucking actually help people deal with their trauma and whatnot. 372 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,920 Speaker 1: I hope you have a real therapist. They can help 373 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: you deal with the trauma of all these things. 374 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 2: We're kind of. 375 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 3: Hopefully we'll make it more up to eighteen soon, but 376 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,400 Speaker 3: good good. Also, I want to apologize for the way 377 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 3: I hop on the call because I sot talking to 378 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 3: one of your que guys again, which they are so 379 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 3: nice by the way. 380 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: Of course, no, you know, probably just for anything. 381 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 3: I actually didn't know I was on the air. 382 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,959 Speaker 1: But yeah, I I hope you really internalize that. I 383 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: hope you really make an effort to move on. I 384 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,119 Speaker 1: hope you never fucking think about these people ever. Again. 385 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:26,119 Speaker 1: They're not worth it. Your your life is too short 386 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 1: and valuable for you to spend any of your headspace 387 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:34,240 Speaker 1: in just all this fucking bullshit. And I'm very excited 388 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: for you that you were leaving soon. 389 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 3: Yes, thank you, of course. 390 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you want to say to 391 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: me or the people of the computer, or that we 392 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: didn't get to or final thoughts or just anything like that. 393 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 3: I just want to say that I had a lot 394 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 3: of adrenaline during the first like five minutes to the call, 395 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 3: so it was kind of messy, but I if I 396 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 3: got the whole situation out, so it kind of makes sense. 397 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: Thank you very much for sharing, and seriously, good luck 398 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: to you as you you move forward on this. 399 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. You've been a really great help. 400 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,680 Speaker 1: Awesome thank you for calling Lea. 401 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 3: Of course, thank you. 402 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 1: That was super interesting. That evolved in a sense because 403 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: you start off it's again it started off with like 404 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 1: why is it started for me? It started off very easy. 405 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 1: It started off like, dude, just delete the Facebook account? 406 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: Why are you still obsessed over this guy? And then 407 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:46,600 Speaker 1: it evolves into oh, she's doing this because she's like scared, uh, 408 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 1: And that is the fear element of it is a 409 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 1: different thing than just like some you know, nonsensical obsession 410 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,199 Speaker 1: over the past, and when it revealed itself to be 411 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 1: a you know, a thing of fear is when it 412 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 1: got complicated for me. And I am so glad that 413 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 1: she is moving a very difficult thing. I kind of 414 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 1: mentioned this. I don't like that, you know, other people 415 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: are giving her you know, are are sort of forcing 416 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 1: her out of the situation. But at some point you 417 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: just concede to that. I'm glad she's conceding to that 418 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: and not fighting about it to make her life worse. 419 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm happy for her that she's moving out 420 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: and finding a new life, because i mean, shit, all 421 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: this stuff was going on when she was eighteen. I'm 422 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: sure that she's had relationships with you know whoever the 423 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,320 Speaker 1: fuck this friend, I don't know. She painted a whole 424 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: picture of a bunch of characters that I'm sure I've 425 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: been around for a while, and I'm sure have been 426 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 1: around for a little bit too long. And yeah, I'm 427 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 1: happy for her that she's she's moving on and uh, 428 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 1: you know, finding a new path for herself in this 429 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 1: short life. And I appreciate her calling in and being 430 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,920 Speaker 1: vulnerable with us. And I'm a gecko guy on the computer, 431 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:23,160 Speaker 1: and that is all I have to think about that. Hello, Hello, Hey, 432 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 1: is this Riley? Yeah? 433 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 5: Is this Gekasur rags. 434 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, how's it going. 435 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 5: It's going, Okay, it's going, It's pretty good. I'm vacation 436 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 5: right now. 437 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,160 Speaker 1: Oh, you're on a family vacation. Where Where at. 438 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 5: Montana? 439 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: Who goes on vacation to Montana? 440 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 5: People from Wyoming. 441 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: When I think of Montana and I think of Wyoming, 442 00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 1: I truly think about I imagine the same place. 443 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, do you want me to draw you 444 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,160 Speaker 5: a map with my words? 445 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 1: Sure? 446 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,679 Speaker 5: Okay? So Wyoming is like just south and it's sandwiched 447 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 5: between Colorado and Montana. Right, So all of Wyoming is 448 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 5: like flat, except for some parts that have mountains, but 449 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,439 Speaker 5: it's terribly windy, and all the mountains are kind of 450 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 5: like flame, and it makes it so nobody wants to 451 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,920 Speaker 5: live there. If you go to Montana, it's slightly less 452 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 5: windy and there's cooler mountains. Plus there's rivers in Montana. 453 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 5: So but they're basically the same place. 454 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 1: Riley. It's says here that you have a secret YouTube 455 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: channel in which you quote do weird shit, and you 456 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: are afraid of somebody finding it because you fear the 457 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: reaction of your friends and family. Tell me, tell me 458 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,199 Speaker 1: more about this YouTube channel. What exactly do you mean 459 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: by weird shit? 460 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, so I mean it's not all weird shit someone, 461 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 5: It's like mostly normal. But like most recently, I've been 462 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 5: working on a video about a snake that I found 463 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,360 Speaker 5: that was dead and I had a funeral for it. 464 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,959 Speaker 5: It's actually kind of a sad story. There's like this 465 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 5: little baby rattlesnake outside the door of the warehouse that 466 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 5: I work in. I was there late at night because 467 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,120 Speaker 5: I lived in like a campground and like a trailer 468 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 5: and I don't have a shower, so I was there 469 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 5: late showering and he was so cute, so I took 470 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,000 Speaker 5: a video of him, and the next day I found 471 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 5: him dead in the gutter. So I had a dramatic 472 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 5: episode and decided to have a funeral for it. And 473 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,920 Speaker 5: I just think that's not really a normal thing to do. 474 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: I think that's a that's nice that you, you know, 475 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: formed this brief yet passionate connection, And uh, I can 476 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: I can see why you had a need to mourn it. 477 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: Why do you believe that your friends and family would 478 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: respond negatively to this snake funeral video? 479 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 5: So I don't think my immediate family would be like 480 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 5: weirded out by it because they already know I'm weird. 481 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,720 Speaker 5: But like my extended family on. 482 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 2: My dad's side, they. 483 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 5: They're a little like judgmental, and I get I get 484 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 5: some of that just for like the weird stuff I 485 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 5: do anyways, like they an example would be like they'd 486 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 5: be appalled that all summer I've been living in a 487 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,280 Speaker 5: camper trailer in like a campground. They just think that's 488 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 5: that's not the way to live. 489 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: And so really, what right? Well, really, why Riley? Why 490 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 1: do you care what your extended f family thinks about you, 491 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 1: what you do with your you know time? Why does 492 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: it matter if they think that something you do is weird? 493 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 5: So I don't think it doesn't really matter to me 494 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,320 Speaker 5: a whole lot, But I'm just worried I'm gonna get 495 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 5: like weird comments at family reunions, being like, oh I 496 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:24,200 Speaker 5: saw you on YouTube, like playing with a dead snake. 497 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 5: That's fucking weird. Why are you like this? Because always 498 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 5: I already get like some of that. 499 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 1: Relly, Listen, you can't you can't live your life or 500 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: not live your life based on what your extended family 501 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 1: might say to you at the occasional family reunion. It's 502 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 1: a terrible way to live. 503 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 5: So, Okay, there's another part to this story. 504 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: What is it? 505 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 5: It is a terrible way to live. It's more like 506 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 5: so that's part of the reason why I haven't told 507 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 5: people it because I'm not necessarily worried about people finding 508 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 5: out about it. I'm trying to decide if I should 509 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 5: like tell people about it and like advertise that I'm 510 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 5: doing this and be like, look at the things I've made, 511 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 5: or if it should just be like a privately creative thing. 512 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 5: I'm worried that if I like tell all my friends 513 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 5: and family about it, and like I put it online 514 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 5: and I kind of brand myself with it, that like 515 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 5: I may have to take on some responsibility of being 516 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 5: like an influencer, and I'm not sure if I want 517 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,880 Speaker 5: to be in the spotlight like that, even if it's 518 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 5: only like with five thousand people or like less. 519 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 1: Okay, let's explore that you make these videos, You make 520 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 1: them at this at this very moment. You make them 521 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 1: for an audience of virtually no one. Correct yes, myself, okay, 522 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 1: you make them for yourself out of your own enjoyments. 523 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: You are debating whether or not to take it further 524 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:08,880 Speaker 1: and attempt to actually have people watch these things that 525 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,239 Speaker 1: you do. You're like a I don't want to use 526 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 1: the word vlogger, but you do miscellaneous non you do miscellaneous, 527 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 1: somewhat deviant things such as hold funerals for snakes. Yeah, 528 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 1: you enjoy doing those things. You enjoy documenting them just 529 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 1: for yourself, and you're wondering whether or not you should 530 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,680 Speaker 1: show them to other people. Okay, so when you are 531 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 1: thinking about the pros as to why you might want 532 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: an audience of people to watch you hold snake funerals, 533 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 1: what would those pros be? 534 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:54,720 Speaker 5: So I think about the financial incentive for sure, if 535 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 5: it ever came to that, I wouldn't I don't think 536 00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 5: I would like leave my career path to be like run. 537 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 4: Off to be YouTuber. 538 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 5: But if it ever got like big enough to make 539 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 5: a little bit of money, that would be nice. Not 540 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 5: gonna lie, I don't know. 541 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 1: That's the kind. 542 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 5: Of lifestyle I want to live. M Yeah. Especially the 543 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,000 Speaker 5: kind of lifestyle I want to live is a little 544 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 5: more remote and like the harder, be harder to pull 545 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 5: down like a sable job. So there's a lot of 546 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 5: freedom within that if I were able to make money 547 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:26,200 Speaker 5: from it one day? 548 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: Uh you know, right? I think that's a I I 549 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: think that's a legitimate that's a legitimate reason to to 550 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,640 Speaker 1: want to do that. I think that there is a 551 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 1: lot of I think there's a lot to be gained 552 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 1: on trying to build a business based on the things 553 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 1: that you're passionate about. And I think that that is 554 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,960 Speaker 1: uh completely within reason for you to do, if that's 555 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: what you want to do. 556 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 5: Mm hmm. 557 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 1: Uh So tell me more about the cons then. 558 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 5: Well, I would be kind of putting myself out there. 559 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 5: And like, I think that there's a certain there's a 560 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 5: certain desirability to privacy, and that's something that I really 561 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 5: tend to value just general, Like I don't I want 562 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,400 Speaker 5: people like kind of around me. I like, I like 563 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,400 Speaker 5: my stuff to be very private, and I know that 564 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,759 Speaker 5: about myself. So I'm worried that eventually, if people were 565 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,360 Speaker 5: to watch this, I would feel like I'm losing some 566 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 5: of that and like that would bother me eventually, But 567 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 5: I'm not sure because I've never been in that scenario. 568 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,839 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you advice that I think I'm 569 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 1: one of the only few people that can I can 570 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:48,879 Speaker 1: give this. You should wear a costume of some kind. 571 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 1: I'm serious I'm serious. 572 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:56,720 Speaker 5: You know that's not a bad idea. 573 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,400 Speaker 1: I should wear costumes because I go out in public 574 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: and nobody has ever, ever, ever with no costume. It's 575 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:13,160 Speaker 1: happened maybe two or three times where somebody has said 576 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: to me, hey, you're the guy from TikTok. When I 577 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 1: wear the costume, I get it a lot. But if 578 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 1: I'm not wearing the costume, I have my complete another privacy. 579 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 1: So if you're afraid of that, but you still want 580 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 1: to try to build a brand their business on being 581 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,320 Speaker 1: yourself and doing the things that you enjoy, which I 582 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: think is a worthwhile thing to pursue. I really do. 583 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: I don't think you know, people might have their opinions 584 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,480 Speaker 1: of whatever, but I think it's a worthwhile thing to do. 585 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,799 Speaker 1: If you want to do it and you're concerned about 586 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: your privacy, wear a costume, maybe a snake, and then 587 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,680 Speaker 1: do your vlogs or whatever it is you do. 588 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, I was gonna ask you what kind of costume 589 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 5: should I wear? 590 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: I can't tell you that. You have to decide that 591 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,960 Speaker 1: on your own. That gecko came to me, okay, and 592 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,479 Speaker 1: your animal will come to you as well. 593 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,719 Speaker 5: Did it did it come to you in a dream 594 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 5: or like a vision or did it just like hit you. 595 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 1: At you? 596 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,799 Speaker 5: Oh that makes sense, Riley. 597 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: I mean this is before we go. Do you out 598 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 1: of the tell me? Tell me your flat out of 599 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 1: out of what I have told you over the course 600 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,880 Speaker 1: of this conversation. What are your thoughts. 601 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 5: I'm thinking that I don't know if the costume I 602 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 5: do would work for me. I think it's a good idea, 603 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,080 Speaker 5: but some of the contents I also make is like 604 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 5: nature based, where I like hike because I'm like a 605 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,080 Speaker 5: like a park ranger kind of, and so I make 606 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,000 Speaker 5: a lot of like outdoor content, and I don't know 607 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 5: if it would be all that practical for me to 608 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 5: walk around at work and like when I'm outside hiking 609 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 5: in like a tiger costume or something. 610 00:36:59,560 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 611 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,919 Speaker 5: But I'm kind of leaning towards putting it out there 612 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,799 Speaker 5: just to kind of see what happens with it. 613 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 1: Okay, I think you know what I I don't like. 614 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,279 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I like doing it, and I think that 615 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 5: as long as I like doing it, that if people watch, 616 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 5: it's okay. But I'm not sure, Like I'm scared of 617 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 5: what can happen in the future. But I'm do not 618 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:25,440 Speaker 5: think about that. 619 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,520 Speaker 1: I think. Yeah, two final things with that is, uh, 620 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 1: you know you're afraid, you're you're telling me that you're 621 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,799 Speaker 1: afraid of like what your extended family will think of 622 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 1: you doing these snake funerals. And you know, Riley, your 623 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: life is going to be a lot better if you 624 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 1: choose to just fucking live freely and not give a 625 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:51,920 Speaker 1: fuck about what people think of you. And if you 626 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,480 Speaker 1: want to maintain your privacy. This is the second thing. 627 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,080 Speaker 1: There's a lot of ways for you to do that. 628 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: I mean, so there are some extremely famous and successful 629 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,120 Speaker 1: Internet people who have never shown their faces before. You 630 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 1: could just make videos where you are hiking through the 631 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:14,719 Speaker 1: woods and just talking and the camera is facing the 632 00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:17,320 Speaker 1: the trail. I mean, you could give your snake funeral 633 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,440 Speaker 1: video without showing your face. So there's a lot of 634 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 1: different ways to do it if you want to do it. 635 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 1: But uh, try try and get over fixating on what 636 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,120 Speaker 1: your extended family or anyone else on the internet might 637 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,160 Speaker 1: think of you and what you do. 638 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,239 Speaker 5: You know, Gek, that's a really good point. I didn't 639 00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,440 Speaker 5: really consider just not putting my face in it. 640 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have to. You can make a really 641 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,360 Speaker 1: good videos without putting your face in there. Yeah, no, 642 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,120 Speaker 1: I mean there's that's the thing if you scroll through, 643 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 1: if you I dude, I could talk about TikTok and 644 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,360 Speaker 1: the Internet creator economy shit forever because like, if you 645 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 1: scroll through TikTok or YouTube, you will find many, many, 646 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:01,840 Speaker 1: many creative people who have found uh different ways to 647 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:07,120 Speaker 1: express themselves that are not the standard. Hey, how's it going, guys? 648 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,799 Speaker 1: Welcome back to my whatever fucking thing? 649 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:09,640 Speaker 5: You know? 650 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 1: So take that into consideration. Uh, is there anything else 651 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:14,839 Speaker 1: want to say to the people in the computer before 652 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,080 Speaker 1: we go? Riley? 653 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 5: You know what, I'm feeling spontaneous and aspired inspired right now? 654 00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:22,479 Speaker 1: Good? 655 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 5: And I think I should just do it. Can I 656 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 5: plug myself. 657 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 1: If you would like too? Sure? 658 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,080 Speaker 5: Okay, Uh, it's Riley does Alaska. 659 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:35,200 Speaker 1: You live in Alaska? 660 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 5: I lived in Alaska. I don't live in Alaska anymore. 661 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 1: I want to live in Riley does Alaska. Okay. I'm 662 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 1: gonna check out your videos because I'm trying to go 663 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 1: to Alaska soon and maybe they'll have some insight for him. 664 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,160 Speaker 5: Okay, I'll be your tour guide. 665 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,799 Speaker 1: Where where in Alaska? Yeah you don't have to tell 666 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,319 Speaker 1: me out hit, but where in Alaska. Should I go? 667 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:56,839 Speaker 1: If I want to be a get go there and 668 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:57,720 Speaker 1: do stuff. 669 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,879 Speaker 5: Any grades are cool. There's a lot of people there. 670 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,960 Speaker 5: But if you want to like see real Alaskan people, 671 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 5: go to Fairbanks because they're they're gruff and tumble up 672 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 5: in Fairbanks and ghosted on the University of Alaska Fairbanks campus. 673 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: Man. I didn't know they had college in Alaska. I 674 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,480 Speaker 1: thought it was just like bears. Thank you for calling Riley. 675 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,840 Speaker 5: Thanks guys, five, Let's. 676 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 1: Talk to Kimbo. How are you, Kimbo? 677 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,800 Speaker 6: Oh, there's a Yeah, I'm good. 678 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:30,399 Speaker 4: I'm good. 679 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:36,319 Speaker 6: I actually I have COVID right now, but I'm doing good. 680 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 1: What's going on with you? 681 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:47,840 Speaker 6: So the past year I have been recovering from a 682 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,600 Speaker 6: traumatic brain injury that I sustained at work, and I'm 683 00:40:53,640 --> 00:41:02,720 Speaker 6: started in grad school estimated the month with accommodations and yeah, 684 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:04,319 Speaker 6: a lot going on with that. 685 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,080 Speaker 1: Well, Can I can I mention what you told the 686 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:09,760 Speaker 1: call screener? 687 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 2: Yeah? 688 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, it says here that you are a future sex therapist. 689 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,640 Speaker 1: I assume that's what you're going to grad school for. 690 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 6: What I'm going to school for. 691 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 1: And you are having trouble finding love? 692 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, that sounds really cheaty to hear it repeated back 693 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,240 Speaker 6: to me. But it's true. 694 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: Okay, are you? Are you in your head? Like I'm 695 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,560 Speaker 1: gonna start projecting onto you and you tell me if 696 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,600 Speaker 1: it's accurate in your head? 697 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:40,840 Speaker 6: Are you? 698 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:41,040 Speaker 3: Like? 699 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 1: How am I supposed to help couples with sex therapy 700 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,480 Speaker 1: if if I myself cannot find love. 701 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 6: I've definitely had that creeping fear. But I don't know. 702 00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:02,640 Speaker 6: I like I've reflected on my situation, Like, first of all, 703 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,319 Speaker 6: when you have a traumatic brain injury, you should not 704 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 6: date people. That's a that's not good. But I now 705 00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:16,920 Speaker 6: that I've been cleared to start approaching life again by 706 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,440 Speaker 6: my neurologist, I'm like, oh man, I don't really have 707 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:24,600 Speaker 6: an excuse anymore, and I have to actually like start 708 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,120 Speaker 6: dating again, and I don't really enjoy dating. 709 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,440 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, if I could back up for like a 710 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,040 Speaker 1: second here, If I go back up for a second, 711 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,799 Speaker 1: you laugh, because you know what I'm gonna say. Why 712 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:43,040 Speaker 1: you're why is this so immediately presenting itself as like 713 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,440 Speaker 1: a chore that you have to do? Why do you 714 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,680 Speaker 1: why do you? Why are you saying it like that 715 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,840 Speaker 1: you that you have to now go out and date people? 716 00:42:55,600 --> 00:43:01,480 Speaker 6: Well, well, no, I guess it's not. I guess I 717 00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:07,680 Speaker 6: was talking about it like it's a chore. It's more like, well, 718 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:12,600 Speaker 6: like like there are people I'm interested in. I think 719 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:17,800 Speaker 6: it's because. Okay, So I'm I'm semisexual, which means I 720 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,800 Speaker 6: can't really use dating apps or things like that because 721 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,399 Speaker 6: I need an emotional connection before I can even find 722 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:34,759 Speaker 6: a person attractive. So so just I feel like everything, 723 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:38,759 Speaker 6: like I feel like most of dating right now is 724 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:44,239 Speaker 6: dating apps and then i'm I'm trying. I also I 725 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,719 Speaker 6: want I want my my partner to be Jewish, and 726 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:53,839 Speaker 6: that just really narrows the dating pool. And yeah, I 727 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:59,600 Speaker 6: just I do feel like my intersection, my intersecting identities 728 00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:05,280 Speaker 6: dating difficult. But it also means that I really understand myself. 729 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,080 Speaker 1: I was going to say, no, I was going to say, 730 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:17,239 Speaker 1: you're on the hunt for an n j M. Nice, 731 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:24,000 Speaker 1: a nice Jewish man. Sorry, continue, I want to hear 732 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,640 Speaker 1: the rest of your of your thoughts about this this 733 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,760 Speaker 1: area of your life. 734 00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:39,560 Speaker 6: So okay, So I'm I'm feminine, presenting, non binary, I'm Jewish, demisexual, 735 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:45,680 Speaker 6: I'm pan sexual. I'm kinky, but I'm not kinky until 736 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,560 Speaker 6: once we start having sex. So I go from basically 737 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:55,520 Speaker 6: like very very like asexual to being very sexual, and which, 738 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,360 Speaker 6: like anyone anyone listening to this who has dated a 739 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:02,520 Speaker 6: demisexual can understand why that would be confusing or frustrating. 740 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,040 Speaker 1: And you know, it's a shame that you don't like 741 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,399 Speaker 1: the dating ass because you just wrote yourself a very 742 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:13,800 Speaker 1: descriptive dating profile bio. 743 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 6: Thank you, thank well. I really know myself, but I've 744 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:23,480 Speaker 6: also been told that I'm extremely intimidating for all those reasons. 745 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:29,479 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. So I've got a couple questions for you. 746 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 1: One is, uh, why why are you looking for a partner. 747 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 6: I'm a very romantic person and I love infusing romance 748 00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:50,759 Speaker 6: into my own life, my my friendships, my relationship with 749 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,560 Speaker 6: the universe. But I would like to be able to 750 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:59,040 Speaker 6: channel that into a person or people romantically. That would 751 00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:03,440 Speaker 6: be really nice. And I just I've been i haven't 752 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,200 Speaker 6: been in a relationship that's been longer than six months 753 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,960 Speaker 6: in almost six years, So I just feel like I've 754 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,160 Speaker 6: had a lot of time to get to know myself 755 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:16,879 Speaker 6: and I really want to share myself with others romantically. 756 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:24,480 Speaker 1: That was a very poetic and introspective answer, which is 757 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,360 Speaker 1: that's a good sign. 758 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 6: That's that's better than I am a very poetic, introspective person. 759 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,960 Speaker 1: That's a lot better than just saying I'm afraid to 760 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:38,320 Speaker 1: be alone. So that's a good place to start. Okay, 761 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: Now I want. 762 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,960 Speaker 6: To actually enjoy my own company a little too much. 763 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:49,200 Speaker 1: Sure, Sure, No, I understand that. I understand that I want. Okay, 764 00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,440 Speaker 1: so let's go back to at the very beginning of this, 765 00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,840 Speaker 1: you were like looking at dating as a chore and 766 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:56,640 Speaker 1: you were like, oh, I have to date again, and 767 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,520 Speaker 1: you were saying it in this very negative way, and 768 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:03,040 Speaker 1: then us, now you gave us this whole I am 769 00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,680 Speaker 1: a romantic person. I want to share a part of myself, 770 00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:07,640 Speaker 1: which is like the complete opposite of the way that 771 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:18,920 Speaker 1: you were describing your romantic vision at the beginning of this. Right, Okay, 772 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,680 Speaker 1: So would you say that what you just said now 773 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,200 Speaker 1: is more reflective of the truth. 774 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:26,000 Speaker 3: Yes. 775 00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,799 Speaker 6: I think part of the problem is that I am 776 00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,719 Speaker 6: clearly picky, Like I know, I've been single long enough 777 00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,279 Speaker 6: to know exactly what I want, so it's not as 778 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:44,560 Speaker 6: if I don't have opportunities. I think I'm also oblivious 779 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:51,160 Speaker 6: when people are into me, which is another layer to this. 780 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,879 Speaker 6: So I think the way I was talking about dating 781 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:58,720 Speaker 6: before is reflective of my apprehension around miscommunications that can occur. 782 00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 1: Mm hm uh. I think being picky is a good 783 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:09,319 Speaker 1: thing in most aspects of life. I think, I think 784 00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,360 Speaker 1: I don't know at most and a lot of aspects 785 00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:12,799 Speaker 1: of life, being picky is a good thing. And I 786 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:16,319 Speaker 1: think you know with your romantic partner. Yeah, if you 787 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,440 Speaker 1: fucking should be picky. You're trying to find a person 788 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,040 Speaker 1: to be with for the rest of your life, you 789 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:24,680 Speaker 1: should be extremely picky about that if that's what you 790 00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:28,960 Speaker 1: are looking for. But I do want to try. I 791 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,919 Speaker 1: want to try to change your mind on one thing. 792 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:33,759 Speaker 6: Oh, let's hear it. 793 00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:39,480 Speaker 1: I think I think that if you are really in 794 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,239 Speaker 1: I mean, I hate dating apps. I don't. I don't 795 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:46,359 Speaker 1: like them at all. But I feel like if you're 796 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:51,600 Speaker 1: trying to put yourself out there for the maximum opportunity 797 00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,600 Speaker 1: to meet the kind of person that you want to meet, 798 00:48:55,520 --> 00:49:00,000 Speaker 1: I think you should be less afraid of them. 799 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:04,640 Speaker 6: I'm not afraid of the app. I'm actually more I'm 800 00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,520 Speaker 6: not trying to dismiss what you're saying. I appreciate your 801 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:08,239 Speaker 6: approach to this. 802 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,759 Speaker 1: No, I'm down. 803 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:18,320 Speaker 6: No, No. Repexually dismissing you. I feel that the apps 804 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:23,160 Speaker 6: are a misrepresentation of opportunity, we think, because we're seeing 805 00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,080 Speaker 6: hundreds of people a day scroll past us. Especially if 806 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:29,799 Speaker 6: you're like myself and you select everyone as far as 807 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:34,800 Speaker 6: who has shown to you, those aren't truly opportunities. There's 808 00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,799 Speaker 6: you know, there's probably only a few people on that 809 00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:41,400 Speaker 6: app that you can truly connect with. And I have 810 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 6: found in my experience of dating apps that people grossly 811 00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:51,520 Speaker 6: misrepresent themselves, and I show up extremely authentically. I feel 812 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,680 Speaker 6: that people wear a mask when they're dating, which we 813 00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 6: all do to a degree, because we want to represent 814 00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,279 Speaker 6: the best parts of ourselves, right, We want make a 815 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:06,000 Speaker 6: good impression. But I accept the bad parts of myself 816 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:11,440 Speaker 6: that I don't particularly like, and my friends embrace that 817 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,200 Speaker 6: about me, and I embrace that about my friends, And 818 00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:20,080 Speaker 6: I think to love someone fully, you have to accept 819 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,439 Speaker 6: the negative parts of them. 820 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:21,919 Speaker 2: Right. 821 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:27,960 Speaker 6: However, when when someone who is in denial about the 822 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,200 Speaker 6: parts of themselves that they dislike and someone shows up 823 00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,560 Speaker 6: in their life and says, oh, no, I see that 824 00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:37,200 Speaker 6: in you, and I love that part of you even 825 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,040 Speaker 6: though I don't like it, that is terrifying. That's extremely 826 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:45,000 Speaker 6: uncomfortable for people, so well can actually so that kind 827 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,440 Speaker 6: of accepts I think everything. 828 00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:50,280 Speaker 1: I think everything you're saying. I think everything you're saying 829 00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:53,880 Speaker 1: is great. You know. I think that you sound like 830 00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,080 Speaker 1: you're comfortable being authentically yourself. You sound like you're not 831 00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:00,560 Speaker 1: afraid of being authentically yourself, which is really important as 832 00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,759 Speaker 1: you're going out into the dating world. But what you 833 00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,880 Speaker 1: just said to me has nothing to do with dating 834 00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,479 Speaker 1: apps because the I think what people get wrong about 835 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:12,360 Speaker 1: these apps is that all these profiles, they are representations 836 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:17,440 Speaker 1: of real people, so like it can seem artificial and whatnot. 837 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:23,879 Speaker 1: But once you are connected with another shop, yes, once 838 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:26,400 Speaker 1: you're connected with another person over this app, it's almost 839 00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:30,279 Speaker 1: as if you met at at the freaking coffee shop 840 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,040 Speaker 1: that you meet them at in person. Is the app 841 00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:36,759 Speaker 1: is no longer a relevant part of the interaction. So 842 00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,879 Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying, but I don't think it's 843 00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:41,880 Speaker 1: relevant to to dating apps. 844 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:48,840 Speaker 6: You might be right about that, I think, I think 845 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:53,880 Speaker 6: what so the element in like revealing your true self 846 00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,239 Speaker 6: that I was referencing that that seemed kind of like 847 00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:03,160 Speaker 6: it wasn't answering your question. The element that's missing it 848 00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 6: is time and teasing and I really I really need 849 00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:14,840 Speaker 6: a lot of time, like with transitions, so and being demisexual, 850 00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:19,760 Speaker 6: it's when you're demisexual, it's really like you're asexual until 851 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:23,200 Speaker 6: you're not until you have an emotional connection with the person. 852 00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,319 Speaker 1: But Kimbo, you live in the world where you can 853 00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:31,680 Speaker 1: go on the computer. You okay Cupid, and you can, 854 00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:35,040 Speaker 1: I mean, take advantage, for God's sake, take advantage. You 855 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,360 Speaker 1: can go Kimbo. 856 00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:36,840 Speaker 2: You can. 857 00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,600 Speaker 1: Little people, you can hit little you can hit a 858 00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,840 Speaker 1: little checkbox that says you can hit the there's a 859 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:46,920 Speaker 1: checkbox that says filter out by Jewish someone. 860 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,240 Speaker 6: Who's willing to flirt with people. 861 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,920 Speaker 1: I just all I'm saying, saying you sorry. 862 00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,480 Speaker 6: I come from New Jersey. It says we don't know. 863 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,840 Speaker 1: How to okay, it's okay. I'm saying to you is 864 00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:01,160 Speaker 1: that if this is important to you, you should try. 865 00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:04,000 Speaker 1: You should put in you know, you put in the 866 00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:07,719 Speaker 1: effort where you can. That's all I'm saying. And I 867 00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,840 Speaker 1: feel like you're dismissing the dating apps if that's what 868 00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,440 Speaker 1: you want to you know, I feel like dismissing the 869 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,160 Speaker 1: dating apps is a mistake. That's all I'm saying is 870 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,719 Speaker 1: I think it's a mistake because you live in a 871 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:21,200 Speaker 1: world where never before could you go on a website 872 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:27,640 Speaker 1: and go show me Jewish demisexual guys at this age 873 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,520 Speaker 1: that live in this location, and the computer goes, yes, 874 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,399 Speaker 1: here you go take advantage of that. That's all I'm saying. 875 00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:38,080 Speaker 6: I mean, but. 876 00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:42,160 Speaker 1: There's Jay Swipe, there's Jay Date, there's coffee meat. What 877 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:48,319 Speaker 1: is the bagel locks thing? There's some bagel meets locks, 878 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,920 Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it is. Anyway, Kimbo, before we go, 879 00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:56,799 Speaker 1: do you have any final thoughts about anything that we 880 00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,399 Speaker 1: have talked about over the course of this phone call, 881 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,040 Speaker 1: or anything you want to say to the people of. 882 00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:07,719 Speaker 6: The computer, I'll say two things. One, I will reconsider 883 00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:12,520 Speaker 6: dating apps. I appreciate you putting that back on my radar. 884 00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:14,799 Speaker 2: And then to. 885 00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:19,600 Speaker 6: Everyone else, I'll say, surround yourself with really good people 886 00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:27,920 Speaker 6: and just love one another. And don't let a kind 887 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:32,120 Speaker 6: word flip your mind. Like, if there's something kind or 888 00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,080 Speaker 6: loving you want to say to a person, don't be 889 00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,600 Speaker 6: embarrassed to say you should just say it. 890 00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:43,360 Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Kimba. That a great night, And 891 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,200 Speaker 1: by the way, if it makes you feel any better 892 00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,000 Speaker 1: about the whole sex therapist trying to find love thing. 893 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:55,439 Speaker 1: I reluctantly. I reluctantly give relationship advice to people all 894 00:54:55,520 --> 00:55:00,480 Speaker 1: the time. I've never been in a serious relationship. I 895 00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,160 Speaker 1: have no business giving the advice, but I do it 896 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:07,360 Speaker 1: anyway because this is the Internet and you can do 897 00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:12,799 Speaker 1: whatever you want on here, including be a gecko. Hello. 898 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:18,359 Speaker 4: Hello, how are you? I'm doing pretty good? 899 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:24,400 Speaker 1: Huh by yourself, I am doing pretty good as well. 900 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,719 Speaker 1: What are you up to at this very moment in time? 901 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,239 Speaker 4: I'm in bed. I have to go to sleep soon. 902 00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:35,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, you sound really tired. Do also sound like you're 903 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:36,800 Speaker 1: very far away from the phone. 904 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,919 Speaker 4: I'm pretty pretty close next to my ear. 905 00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:42,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. 906 00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,240 Speaker 4: I have to wake up at five for work. 907 00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:48,359 Speaker 1: What do you do? 908 00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:51,440 Speaker 4: I'm a welder? 909 00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:54,320 Speaker 1: Okay, what kind of stuff do you wild? 910 00:55:56,680 --> 00:56:03,600 Speaker 4: Pretty much like marine type, stainless steel, aluminum, carb and steel. 911 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,120 Speaker 4: You know, it's usually the fun stuff. 912 00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,520 Speaker 1: I will make this phone call quick so that you 913 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,760 Speaker 1: can get to bed. How can I get you today? 914 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:20,360 Speaker 4: I was talking to your amazing person, Tim, and pretty 915 00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,719 Speaker 4: much I wanted to call you because, like this has 916 00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:27,280 Speaker 4: been a recent epiphany for me. I recently quit porn 917 00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:32,120 Speaker 4: while trying to it's still pretty hard because I feel 918 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:35,600 Speaker 4: like I'm addicted to it and it's not. And I understand, 919 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,719 Speaker 4: like it was always like a negative thing about it, 920 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,560 Speaker 4: but I you know, recently that I just got a girlfriend, 921 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:45,480 Speaker 4: it's just been more apparent that, yeah, I should stop 922 00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:45,920 Speaker 4: doing this. 923 00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:51,440 Speaker 1: What sorts of things have you been noticing that are 924 00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:53,840 Speaker 1: keying you into the idea that you have an addiction. 925 00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:01,440 Speaker 4: It's more of like like I like watching peel be porn. 926 00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:07,160 Speaker 4: I like pretending that am I allowed to like curse. 927 00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:10,040 Speaker 1: Or have to. You can say whatever you want. You 928 00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:14,600 Speaker 1: can graphically describe the pornography that you are watching, as 929 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:17,760 Speaker 1: long as it's not illegal. You want no, no. 930 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:21,160 Speaker 4: No, no, it's it's all. It's all you know, regular stuff, 931 00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:24,800 Speaker 4: but it's basically pov I. You know, I pretend that 932 00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:28,479 Speaker 4: the penis is my penis, and you know, whatever porn 933 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,360 Speaker 4: star that I come across, I'm like, I imagine myself being there. 934 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:35,680 Speaker 4: I like I like when they show the penetration because 935 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:38,520 Speaker 4: I feel like, oh snap, I could feel this, like 936 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:42,200 Speaker 4: this is something that I want to feel, and yeah 937 00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,880 Speaker 4: it's not. It's definitely not healthy. So I'm just I 938 00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:47,960 Speaker 4: took a step back. You know, my favorite porn stars. 939 00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:53,320 Speaker 4: You know, Geena Valentina, you know the big name one Lanea, Gray, Blake, Blossom, 940 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:57,520 Speaker 4: all of them, all of them gorgeous, gorgeous bodies, And yeah, 941 00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:01,280 Speaker 4: it's not a it's not healthy. So I like pull 942 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,920 Speaker 4: the step back, especially because I recently got a girlfriend. 943 00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:05,920 Speaker 4: She's gorgeous, and you know, I don't want to be 944 00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:09,720 Speaker 4: thinking about all of those women and all of their 945 00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,480 Speaker 4: bodies while I'm with my girlfriend. 946 00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:18,360 Speaker 1: I think that that is a great reason to stop. 947 00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:20,640 Speaker 1: It seems like you've identified it as an issue and 948 00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:26,600 Speaker 1: you're working to correct it. Yes, so is your issue 949 00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,240 Speaker 1: that no continue? Please? 950 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,120 Speaker 4: You are the second person I ever told that I 951 00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:39,000 Speaker 4: had this type of problem. I've like it's been like 952 00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:42,680 Speaker 4: it's been a consistent thing, like since I was like fourteen, 953 00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:43,600 Speaker 4: I'm twenty eight. 954 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:45,680 Speaker 1: Who is the first? 955 00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:48,640 Speaker 4: My brother? 956 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:53,000 Speaker 1: Okay, what'd your brother say? 957 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:58,240 Speaker 4: He understood? He didn't understand the full extent of it 958 00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:03,720 Speaker 4: until I recently explain it to him and he was like, wow, 959 00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:07,520 Speaker 4: uh yeah. I mean he's like pretty much encouraging me 960 00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,840 Speaker 4: to keep it up. He's like, don't completely go cold turkey. 961 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,000 Speaker 4: He's like, you know, you know you could do it, 962 00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,640 Speaker 4: like at least once a week, and I'm like, I can't. 963 00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:24,360 Speaker 4: I physically can't because then I just go crazy. 964 00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:30,280 Speaker 1: So you're attempting to do this just cold turkey. You 965 00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,760 Speaker 1: are going to quit porn forever? 966 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:39,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean eventually when I have a grasp of 967 00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,800 Speaker 4: it and I could actually go like instead of like like, 968 00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:45,520 Speaker 4: let's just say tonight, like if I do it, then tomorrow, 969 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,800 Speaker 4: if I do it again, then the next day that 970 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:51,800 Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, then the habit is continuing. So I 971 00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,560 Speaker 4: then that's when I'm like, I'll pull back. But if 972 00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:55,560 Speaker 4: I could do it, well. 973 00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,280 Speaker 1: When is the last time that you did it that 974 00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:00,000 Speaker 1: you watched porn? 975 01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:03,360 Speaker 4: Uh? Yesterday? 976 01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:12,480 Speaker 1: Okay? And before that, what was your what was your 977 01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:14,920 Speaker 1: longest streak without watching porn? 978 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:17,120 Speaker 4: A month? 979 01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,160 Speaker 1: A month? Okay, so you did a month. How was 980 01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:20,840 Speaker 1: that month for you? 981 01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:25,920 Speaker 4: I was pretty good, like working out and I felt better, 982 01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:28,600 Speaker 4: you know, sleep was better, you know, being wanting to 983 01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:30,880 Speaker 4: meddle with my girlfriend. I never had a performance problem 984 01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:32,840 Speaker 4: with my girlfriend. It was always a fear because of 985 01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:37,640 Speaker 4: the amount of porn I watch and like to have 986 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,760 Speaker 4: a performance issue, but it was never an issue. And 987 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,000 Speaker 4: then after I realized it was not an issue, and 988 01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,920 Speaker 4: you know obviously, like I continue, you know, just the 989 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,160 Speaker 4: sex got better and all that stuff. I was more 990 01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:51,040 Speaker 4: sensitive down there, and yeah it was. Again, this is 991 01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:53,880 Speaker 4: a statful of pluses. 992 01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:59,440 Speaker 1: Okay, in the midst of your addiction, when it's at 993 01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:02,600 Speaker 1: its worst, how many times a day are we are 994 01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:03,560 Speaker 1: we hopping on the hub? 995 01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:07,560 Speaker 4: Like eight? Nine? 996 01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:12,200 Speaker 1: Okay? Okay? Is it nine? We're jerking off to completion 997 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:13,360 Speaker 1: nine times? 998 01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:14,479 Speaker 4: Yes? 999 01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:18,040 Speaker 1: Good? You know I'm gonna be on. I'm gonna tell 1000 01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:21,120 Speaker 1: you something. Going from jerking off to completion nine times 1001 01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,200 Speaker 1: and a day? Was it nine times in a day? 1002 01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,200 Speaker 1: Every day? 1003 01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:29,080 Speaker 4: No, it's usually like once a day, but like on 1004 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:32,280 Speaker 4: the weekends when I have nothing better to do, I'm like, 1005 01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,200 Speaker 4: I'm really going at it. 1006 01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:39,840 Speaker 1: Kay. To go from well, once a day is not 1007 01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,560 Speaker 1: that bad. But I mean everybody has sort of their 1008 01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:45,480 Speaker 1: own metric as to what is that bad that they 1009 01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:48,880 Speaker 1: decide for themselves. But regardless, to go from that to 1010 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,760 Speaker 1: a full month, it's pretty great. So this is something 1011 01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:57,240 Speaker 1: you have achieved already. Now tell me what caused that 1012 01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,720 Speaker 1: month to end? When did you have your relapse? 1013 01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,560 Speaker 4: My girlfriend caught COVID, so I haven't seen her in 1014 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,200 Speaker 4: like two weeks. 1015 01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:12,720 Speaker 1: Okay. And so because you were not able to be 1016 01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:19,920 Speaker 1: intimate with your girlfriends, you went back to jerking off. Yes, 1017 01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,560 Speaker 1: now were you jerking off? Was this no jerking off 1018 01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:23,280 Speaker 1: or just no porn? 1019 01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,360 Speaker 4: Uh cold turkey, no jerking off, no porn? 1020 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:36,000 Speaker 1: Okay? And so in the past two weeks, how often 1021 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:36,919 Speaker 1: have you been jerking off? 1022 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:42,120 Speaker 4: Probably like in total, like five. 1023 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:45,880 Speaker 1: Times a day or five times in total in the week? 1024 01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:49,480 Speaker 4: Five yeah, five times in totals in two weeks. 1025 01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:52,920 Speaker 1: Christian, you sound like, I mean, everybody decides for themselves 1026 01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:56,560 Speaker 1: what they're you know, what is considered an addiction. But 1027 01:02:57,080 --> 01:03:00,680 Speaker 1: you sound like you got this under control, you know, 1028 01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:05,160 Speaker 1: I mean, is having an intimate relationship with your girl, 1029 01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:08,720 Speaker 1: a consistent intimate relationship with your girlfriend an important part 1030 01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:12,760 Speaker 1: of you being able to not masterb it? 1031 01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:15,040 Speaker 2: Yes? 1032 01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:18,200 Speaker 4: You know I really care about this this girl. I 1033 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:21,040 Speaker 4: love her, and you know I don't want to just 1034 01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:24,360 Speaker 4: be a reliant on porn and my fantasies. Is you 1035 01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:27,960 Speaker 4: know also like in the back of my mind, you know, 1036 01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:32,360 Speaker 4: just being able to like fantasize that I'm fucking all 1037 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:36,040 Speaker 4: these different women, and you know it just as feels 1038 01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:38,640 Speaker 4: like mentally it's not fair for her and it doesn't 1039 01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:41,680 Speaker 4: feel good for me, Like, and I never understood when 1040 01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:46,840 Speaker 4: people like said they feel bad after watching porn until 1041 01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,600 Speaker 4: you know, I like presently got a girlfriend. 1042 01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:56,880 Speaker 1: So where do you feel like you are at with 1043 01:03:57,040 --> 01:04:00,200 Speaker 1: this addiction today? Because you seem like you're in a 1044 01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:01,680 Speaker 1: good place at least to me, But I don't know. 1045 01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:02,440 Speaker 1: That's why I'm asking. 1046 01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:07,480 Speaker 4: I feel I feel definitely like I have the control 1047 01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:12,320 Speaker 4: of it. I'm I'm really into habits, Like habits are 1048 01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,040 Speaker 4: usually my go to, Like I go to the gym 1049 01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:18,600 Speaker 4: six times a week, you know, a meal prep. So 1050 01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,560 Speaker 4: once I get a habit down, I'm pretty consistent with it. 1051 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,960 Speaker 4: And so if I can make it, If I can 1052 01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:27,720 Speaker 4: make this a habit, then I feel like I could 1053 01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:30,080 Speaker 4: just get like a firm grasp on it. 1054 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:39,440 Speaker 1: No pun intended, no pun intended. Well, Christian, I own 1055 01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:42,840 Speaker 1: I don't really have any anything for you because it 1056 01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,920 Speaker 1: sounds like you're doing but I mean, you're doing fucking 1057 01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:47,800 Speaker 1: better than me on this, So I'm not gonna sit 1058 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,040 Speaker 1: here and try and give you any fucking advice on 1059 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,439 Speaker 1: how to stop watching porn when I watch porn way 1060 01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:55,760 Speaker 1: more than you do at this point, Yeah, do you 1061 01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:56,200 Speaker 1: have advice? 1062 01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:56,480 Speaker 4: For me. 1063 01:04:56,680 --> 01:05:00,400 Speaker 1: Fuck it? Tell me how do I stop jack off 1064 01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:03,920 Speaker 1: ten times a day? 1065 01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:08,800 Speaker 4: I have no idea. I mean I feel like if 1066 01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:13,480 Speaker 4: you what I what I perceived to be is if 1067 01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:17,280 Speaker 4: you think it's a problem, then it's probably a problem. 1068 01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:19,800 Speaker 4: And also the fact that you know you're not alone. 1069 01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,680 Speaker 4: You know, that's like a big thing that's like reoccurring 1070 01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:26,240 Speaker 4: to me, like with issues, like you kind of feel 1071 01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:29,400 Speaker 4: like you're all alone with your issues and then you're here, 1072 01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:33,000 Speaker 4: especially on like like I've been listening to your podcast 1073 01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,080 Speaker 4: forever and I've decided to call because this is the 1074 01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:40,120 Speaker 4: reason of the end of mine. Sure, And I said, 1075 01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,040 Speaker 4: I decided to call because this is a recent event, 1076 01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:45,920 Speaker 4: even though I've been listening to you forever, like a 1077 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:49,640 Speaker 4: recent epiphany, but like hearing all the different people that 1078 01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:52,880 Speaker 4: you have on and like how I could relate to 1079 01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:56,200 Speaker 4: them and some of their issues. I'm like, wow, you 1080 01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:58,000 Speaker 4: know it's a small world. 1081 01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:02,760 Speaker 1: Well you've inspired me, Christian. Well that's the thing is 1082 01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:08,400 Speaker 1: that I'm I'm I feel like I'm a functioning pornography consumer. 1083 01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:11,600 Speaker 1: I'm able to It is not a I don't don't 1084 01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:14,720 Speaker 1: It hasn't like I have other vices that have definitely 1085 01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:20,080 Speaker 1: gotten in the way of my of my life, but 1086 01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:23,360 Speaker 1: porn has never been one of them. I've never been like, Oh, 1087 01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:25,120 Speaker 1: my life would be so much better if I stopped 1088 01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:28,400 Speaker 1: watching porn. I have other things that my life would 1089 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,280 Speaker 1: be better if I stopped doing, but porn. Porn's never 1090 01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:32,320 Speaker 1: been seemed to be one of them. But we're here 1091 01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:35,040 Speaker 1: to talk about me. I'm glad to hear from you, 1092 01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:41,280 Speaker 1: Christian that you are combating this addiction, especially I mean, 1093 01:06:41,320 --> 01:06:44,680 Speaker 1: a month without it. I think you'll be able to 1094 01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:49,640 Speaker 1: continue your cold Turkey streak even once once your girlfriend 1095 01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:52,600 Speaker 1: uh returns from her sickness, and I think you will 1096 01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:57,200 Speaker 1: have a happy and fulfilling life. Christian. Is there anything 1097 01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:58,600 Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people the computer 1098 01:06:58,680 --> 01:06:59,200 Speaker 1: before we go? 1099 01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:01,640 Speaker 3: Uh? 1100 01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:06,120 Speaker 4: No, the only thing like hearing about the flags. I 1101 01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:08,680 Speaker 4: kinda started getting into it. 1102 01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,880 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what flags are we looking at? 1103 01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:12,800 Speaker 4: Uh? 1104 01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:13,000 Speaker 5: For? 1105 01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:18,720 Speaker 4: I first, UH started looking at my home state, Florida, 1106 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:22,680 Speaker 4: and then my whole country, Mexico, and Uh, I like, 1107 01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:25,240 Speaker 4: I like Spain's flag. It's pretty cool as well. 1108 01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:27,240 Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna look at Florida. Hold on, I'm 1109 01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:29,720 Speaker 1: gonna look at Florida real quick. What's on the Florida flag. 1110 01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:34,120 Speaker 4: Florida is boring. It's just like a like a white 1111 01:07:34,440 --> 01:07:35,280 Speaker 4: flag that's. 1112 01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:39,800 Speaker 1: Like an X X Okay, and then what's on this thing? Oh, 1113 01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:45,080 Speaker 1: it's like a X. And then a lady holding sushi 1114 01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:49,080 Speaker 1: and some boats. Okay, I mean that's fine. That's like 1115 01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:51,960 Speaker 1: a Mexico real quick, I I know what the Mexico. Wait, 1116 01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:54,760 Speaker 1: the Mexico flag is just there's not like a symbol 1117 01:07:54,800 --> 01:08:02,480 Speaker 1: on it, is there? Yeah, it's as uh oh oh wait, 1118 01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:04,680 Speaker 1: oh wait. The Mexican flag is bad ass. Look at 1119 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:09,840 Speaker 1: this guy. This is an eagles fucking poeing the snake's 1120 01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:13,280 Speaker 1: he's eating a snake and standing on a cactus like 1121 01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:17,040 Speaker 1: the little cactus shreds are going into the eagles. This 1122 01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:19,280 Speaker 1: is badass. I've never really looked at the Mexican flag 1123 01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:19,599 Speaker 1: like this. 1124 01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:23,360 Speaker 6: Damn. 1125 01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:26,439 Speaker 1: Well, thanks for shouting. I'm definitely gonna jack off to 1126 01:08:26,479 --> 01:08:26,920 Speaker 1: this later. 1127 01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:33,240 Speaker 4: All right, thank you, of course, have a good question 1128 01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,719 Speaker 4: to hear you too. Bye. 1129 01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:44,360 Speaker 1: Thanks man, sweet sweet man doing better than me goes 1130 01:08:44,400 --> 01:08:46,599 Speaker 1: on the line taking your phone calls. 1131 01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:47,200 Speaker 3: Every night. 1132 01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,800 Speaker 1: A beacon goes to his he's teaching you cloud in 1133 01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:54,280 Speaker 1: the MIDI your life. He's not really an expert 1134 01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:00,320 Speaker 4: H