Speaker 1: Uh, do you want to go? Or should I go?
Speaker 2: You go? Girl?
Speaker 3: More More, more, more better, more better, more, a little
Speaker 3: more better more.
Speaker 1: Welcome to More Better Podcast, where we stop pretending to
Speaker 1: have it all together and embrace the stuff, the whatever.
Speaker 1: You know. We're gonna work on this opening guys, We're
Speaker 1: gonna maybe mix it up, We're gonna judge it. But
Speaker 1: if you are just tuning in, that's most of Marrow
Speaker 1: and that's Stephanie Beatrice and uh We're we do this
Speaker 1: podcast because sometimes, you know, the world is kind of
Speaker 1: full of crap and we'd like a little corner of
Speaker 1: the internet for your ear holes. That's like kind of
Speaker 1: nice and more.
Speaker 2: Better, a little bit of joy and.
Speaker 1: A little bit of maybe some deep depth stuff sometimes maybe,
Speaker 1: but we'll stiffly no promises, no promises at all.
Speaker 2: My friends.
Speaker 1: I'm okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Do you want to know what I've done lately that's
Speaker 1: more better?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: I do, really, I don't know. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: went to a protest that was good, that's great. Uh
Speaker 1: yeah you yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean I feel like we are all in this
Speaker 4: space of like are more better is just like getting
Speaker 4: out of bed every day and being a good person
Speaker 4: and I are trying to be are we all there though, Melissa,
Speaker 4: just trying not to completely disintegrate under the crushing weight
Speaker 4: of everyday life and the world right now. My more
Speaker 4: better lately has been I've actually been very disciplined about uh,
Speaker 4: working out, moving my body, and like eating good stuff
Speaker 4: because what I want to do every day is scream
Speaker 4: at people, drink tequila and eat shitty food. But I
Speaker 4: know that that will just make me feel even worse.
Speaker 4: But that is what I'm like, the urge I'm fighting
Speaker 4: every day for sure.
Speaker 1: Like the lower conscious level you would make your choices
Speaker 1: so that they could numb she could numb out, yes,
Speaker 1: But the higher consciousness you is like, let me try
Speaker 1: to take care of myself, Let me do these things
Speaker 1: for myself, let me let me try to have consciousness
Speaker 1: around this moment as opposed to numb out, because the
Speaker 1: numbing out is just going to make you deal with
Speaker 1: it anyway later.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but really, all I want to do is fucking
Speaker 4: numb out. Numbing out sounds great right now. I don't
Speaker 4: blame myself for doing it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes, no, like we all, yeah, sometimes it's what you
Speaker 1: can do in that time. Sometimes it's what you're capable
Speaker 1: of that time in your life, you know.
Speaker 4: And yeah, listen, there have definitely been nights where my
Speaker 4: husband's come home.
Speaker 1: And I've been like, we're making cocktail.
Speaker 2: It's like three pm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been very supportive in my yeah.
Speaker 4: So, but for the most part, I've been making good choices,
Speaker 4: which feels like a fucking victory right now.
Speaker 1: It's really amazing. And the hill battles sometimes so good.
Speaker 2: Only thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: More better.
Speaker 1: What are we talking about today?
Speaker 4: Oh man, we're talking about big resets, big resets, little resets, resets,
Speaker 4: which uh one of our producers picked this topic, shout
Speaker 4: out to Leo.
Speaker 2: And I really like it. I like the idea. I
Speaker 2: feel like it's something that actually you and I are
Speaker 2: forced to do a lot in just on a line
Speaker 2: of work. Move to this new city for five months now,
Speaker 2: moved back now. Yeah yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's something that I've never really thought, uh in
Speaker 1: depth about.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 1: You know, I think about it a lot because probably
Speaker 1: because of our jobs, because of you know, for at
Speaker 1: least most women, and I think like a lot of
Speaker 1: people are dealing with diet culture. I think about it
Speaker 1: in that way a lot, because you're sort of sold
Speaker 1: this idea that like if you reset yourself and do
Speaker 1: all these like new things, then you'll solve all your problems,
Speaker 1: right right. There's like the lie of the big reset
Speaker 1: of like if you just reset yourself, then everything's going
Speaker 1: to be fine. And then there's the resets that you're
Speaker 1: kind of forced into, which is like when everything starts
Speaker 1: over or feels like it starts anew because like you know,
Speaker 1: you have a baby, or there's a pandemic, or your
Speaker 1: job ends and or your marriage ends, or you know whatever.
Speaker 1: There's like so many reasons that it's kind of forced
Speaker 1: upon you. I like the idea of doing it for
Speaker 1: myself as opposed to like having it done to me, right,
Speaker 1: And I would include like like diet resets as like
Speaker 1: a that's something that's happening to me because like I'm
Speaker 1: not choosing to. Well, we can get into it, we
Speaker 1: can get into ami.
Speaker 2: We can because I have a lie.
Speaker 1: I have a lie as a person who has struggled
Speaker 1: with body image and disordered eating, Like I just have
Speaker 1: so many thoughts about it and who has a pretty
Speaker 1: healthy relationship with food. Right now, but like you know,
Speaker 1: things slide around. It's not linear, right, Like That's the
Speaker 1: other thing about these reset moments. It's like your growth
Speaker 1: as a human being is not linear. Your growth it's
Speaker 1: like up and down and backwards and forwards and byways
Speaker 1: all these bits to it, and collectively those bits will
Speaker 1: create what the shape of your life looks like at
Speaker 1: the end of it. To you, it's up to you,
Speaker 1: a dear listener, to decign how that happens. But sometimes
Speaker 1: it just happens to you, which is also like you
Speaker 1: don't have control over.
Speaker 4: That, right Like right you have to move to a
Speaker 4: new city for a job, or you have a surprise pregnancy, or.
Speaker 1: You or like you give yourself a birth plan of
Speaker 1: like I have a friend who she had this plan
Speaker 1: and she was gonna have the baby like bath water
Speaker 1: boop a boop, and like had a guitar, Like I
Speaker 1: think I've told you this. She had like a like
Speaker 1: a like a friend of theirs was going to play
Speaker 1: like classical guitar and like probably like a few hours
Speaker 1: in her doula was like, ah, this is a danger
Speaker 1: You're in danger zone. You gotta go to the hospital.
Speaker 1: And they hadn't planned for it at all, so like
Speaker 1: she didn't have a doctor in a hospital that she
Speaker 1: was like, it was an all emergency situation and then
Speaker 1: oh god, that's so scary a cesarean. So it was
Speaker 1: like her entire experience of the reset post baby was
Speaker 1: not what she thought it was going to be, right,
Speaker 1: and so like it was coming to terms with all
Speaker 1: of these things that she didn't want or plan for.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: She didn't choose to have a cesarean. It was something
Speaker 1: that happened for her safety, but like it's not what
Speaker 1: she wanted, right, Like that was a reset that she
Speaker 1: was she just it happened, right, or like just today,
Speaker 1: I was having coffee with a friend and she was
Speaker 1: like blah blah blah blah blah. You know when I
Speaker 1: had colon cancer. And I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's right, that's right. This sweet friend of mine that's
Speaker 1: like roughly our age had colon cancer, right, and like
Speaker 1: her whole life had to change because that happened. And
Speaker 1: here she is like in front of me, you know,
Speaker 1: fine in remission and like having coffee with me, you know,
Speaker 1: And like even the way I think about her has
Speaker 1: reset since I first met her, because when I first
Speaker 1: met her, I was so intimidated by her. I thought
Speaker 1: she was so cool. She was she's like incredibly talented,
Speaker 1: and I was very like, I don't like her, and
Speaker 1: like part of that was my own insecurity about women
Speaker 1: at the time, about her being in my same job,
Speaker 1: like she's also an actor, incredible singing voice just like
Speaker 1: and even just the way I've known her through the
Speaker 1: years prior to her even getting cancer was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I totally reset like who she is to me in
Speaker 1: my mind. So right, anyway, there's like a lot there's
Speaker 1: a lot of ways to think about this topic. There
Speaker 1: is can you tell my coffee that I had with
Speaker 1: her as tin?
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 2: I love caffeinated Stephanie.
Speaker 1: What a Chelsea proti uscation called coffee cranking?
Speaker 2: I am a coffee cranking. Yes, you are karanking. Is
Speaker 2: that coffee that you're downing right now?
Speaker 1: That's an espressotonic? Side note? Did you know? I did
Speaker 1: not know that an espressotonic is basically a soda.
Speaker 2: What's an espressotonic?
Speaker 1: It's an espresso shot or two? And then they with
Speaker 1: carbonated water had an espressotonic. Melissa, I don't know that
Speaker 1: I want bubbles with my spersonic water. You'll love it.
Speaker 1: You'll love it. You'll love it. I don't even like
Speaker 1: watered down the coffee. You'll love it.
Speaker 2: I well, next time we record, I'm going to get
Speaker 2: one and we'll say, whoa, I don't like. What's the other?
Speaker 1: Like bullshit coffee drink that they just put hot water in?
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 2: I'm an Americana America, but that's garbage. That's it's garbage.
Speaker 2: I don't want water.
Speaker 1: I don't want coffee flavored water. No hot water in
Speaker 1: my coffee.
Speaker 2: Why I don't want that?
Speaker 1: No, unless we coffee concentrate. And now I'm having a
Speaker 1: cup of coffee. Anyway, should we do an episode on
Speaker 1: coffee guys?
Speaker 2: Let us know, okay? Or what would you say is
Speaker 2: the last big reset that you did?
Speaker 1: I mean, I had a hard week last week.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I did what I used to always do,
Speaker 1: which is I let myself get really really down in
Speaker 1: the dumps. I ate all of the things that I
Speaker 1: know that don't really serve me, meaning like not great
Speaker 1: for my digestion, not great for my energy, not great
Speaker 1: for like you know, in the moment, they feel so
Speaker 1: great going down. Yeah, and also and also as somebody
Speaker 1: who used to be a binge eater, there was an
Speaker 1: element of like I want to get so full that
Speaker 1: like this is what I think instead of everything else, right.
Speaker 2: And I also I'm very it's self aware and insightful.
Speaker 1: May well it would have been more self aware of
Speaker 1: I just like put the dorthiaz down, like that would great,
Speaker 1: But I didn't. I ate half athias from my favorite place,
Speaker 1: home state. But what are you gonna do? But you
Speaker 1: know what, knowing why you're eating the dorthias is half
Speaker 1: the battle is half the battle that's growth.
Speaker 2: The other the tortillas.
Speaker 1: Girl, not me, like dipping them in nacho cheese, and like,
Speaker 1: I mean it was what I needed to do in
Speaker 1: the moment, listen. But the reset is that there was
Speaker 1: like a couple of days of that. It was like
Speaker 1: maybe four days of that, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't feel great, Like I don't feel this way either.
Speaker 1: This isn't really helping me. So on Monday I went
Speaker 1: to Pilate's class and I, you know, drank some water.
Speaker 3: I mean, like.
Speaker 2: It had been days without days, I was.
Speaker 1: Probably getting some kind of hydration from something. Be it
Speaker 1: the pizza or the garlic sauce that I was dipping
Speaker 1: it in. I'm not sure.
Speaker 4: There's moisture in everything, in the air and everything, you know,
Speaker 4: just take some deep breaths.
Speaker 1: That was the last reset. That was That was the
Speaker 1: last reset. And I feel like the thing that I
Speaker 1: really learned was I wasn't giving myself like I had
Speaker 1: a lot of rage. I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: right now have a lot of rage. I wasn't giving
Speaker 1: myself any space, so like get it out of my body. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's just and like it's still kind of just
Speaker 1: like sitting there. So I'm like trying to figure out,
Speaker 1: like what does that mean?
Speaker 2: Like do I like how do I work that out?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: And I think ultimately the reset part of it was
Speaker 1: like this isn't working right if it's like a self,
Speaker 1: if it's a choice, right, it's like, this isn't working.
Speaker 1: This thing that I'm doing, I've done however many times,
Speaker 1: isn't really working. How do I reset myself so that
Speaker 1: like I can make I can choose a new path
Speaker 1: of something that does work for me, right, Like that's
Speaker 1: the self. That's the sort of like self guided audio
Speaker 1: tour of your reset in your brain. Yeah, but sometimes
Speaker 1: you can't choose right. Sometimes it just it just happens
Speaker 1: to you, like it happened to your friend in the
Speaker 1: middle of her birth. Yeah, it just be Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just the guitar players, Like, I can't go on. You're
Speaker 1: you're gonna die if you stay inside that uh inside
Speaker 1: the inflatable pol You need to put some pants on.
Speaker 2: And go to the hospital.
Speaker 1: Should it play some jazz? Would that help?
Speaker 2: Would that help you get dressed faster?
Speaker 1: Can you imagine he just starts playing like a faster
Speaker 1: be god to help her move?
Speaker 4: What was the last big reset that you did or
Speaker 4: had happen or oh man, you want to discuss I
Speaker 4: definitely similar to You've been having a lot of like
Speaker 4: mini resets as I have sort of like slogged through
Speaker 4: this past month of just waiting to hear anything about
Speaker 4: how the show is doing and the possibility of having
Speaker 4: a job for another year or if I've got to
Speaker 4: like get back to the hustle. I just like it's
Speaker 4: the one part of our job that I'm not good at.
Speaker 4: I'm good at I'm pretty good at everything else.
Speaker 1: Like the one I don't know, Melissa, Wow, things that
Speaker 1: are out of our control. Like I don't think any
Speaker 1: are good at that, Melissa, nobody is good at that.
Speaker 1: That is a horrible thing that we have to deal with.
Speaker 2: It's it sucks.
Speaker 1: It's that donkey dick, excuse my language, but.
Speaker 4: I feel like I know a lot of people that
Speaker 4: are able to like remain positive and be like, I know,
Speaker 4: I got a good feeling like we'll see, like I
Speaker 4: think we're going to be back.
Speaker 2: And like, you know, I don't know, that's a nice
Speaker 2: day out loud, yeah and then.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. I just feel like
Speaker 4: very tortured. So I've had a lot of like mini resets,
Speaker 4: you know, where I, like you were just describing it,
Speaker 4: had a bad day, had a bad day, and then
Speaker 4: the next day I was like, all right, I have
Speaker 4: to like be very present conscious today in the moment,
Speaker 4: choose what I eat, choose what I drink, like move
Speaker 4: my body, like do you go through the things that
Speaker 4: I know will set me up for success that day,
Speaker 4: and then just like every day try to do that.
Speaker 4: But I guess like the biggest reset was coming back
Speaker 4: from Atlanta after like five months of you know, being
Speaker 4: away from the family, living in this apartment that was
Speaker 4: like very minimalist and empty, which was also kind of wild,
Speaker 4: and then coming home to a house of toys and stuff,
Speaker 4: and yeah, I went. When I got home, I kind
Speaker 4: of went through like a reset of our house and
Speaker 4: did all the closets and throughout like bags and bags
Speaker 4: of shit, and like bought new containers to organize closets
Speaker 4: and jodelers. And I think I sent you a picture
Speaker 4: of my junk.
Speaker 2: Drawer that I reorganized.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you did.
Speaker 2: And I'm also.
Speaker 4: Maybe gonna like buy some new furniture and get rid
Speaker 4: of some furniture. And I don't know what that is about,
Speaker 4: other than like I think, I think David and I
Speaker 4: moved so many times before having kids, and this is
Speaker 4: like the longest we've ever lived somewhere, and I think
Speaker 4: I just still get an itch every few years to
Speaker 4: like switch stuff up. But I'm not going to sell
Speaker 4: my house and move, so I do it by like
Speaker 4: getting rid of furniture and maybe buying a furniture.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nothing crazy, just like I just feel like it's
Speaker 1: not working. It's like energy, right, like yeah, like stuck energy,
Speaker 1: Like you need change.
Speaker 2: I need movement. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite pilate's teachers at the studio. It's
Speaker 1: not like a Woo Wu studio, but she is kind
Speaker 1: of what's a Woo woo studio?
Speaker 2: Describe?
Speaker 1: You know, when you finish the workout and like, okay,
Speaker 1: so this is a total sidebar. But like for me,
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna pay money, so go do a workout somewhere,
Speaker 1: I don't want ten minutes of my workout to be
Speaker 1: like okay, now calm your breath and that deep belly
Speaker 1: breath in. I'm like five minutes, babe, five minutes and
Speaker 1: I can stretch five minutes by myself after class, Like
Speaker 1: I don't need your Woo woo. I came for pilates,
Speaker 1: not yoga. Okay, right, so even in yoga, I'm like,
Speaker 1: do not Sometimes I don't want to hear your layoff floor.
Speaker 2: You're not my guru, babe, You're not my guo or
Speaker 2: that's my guru. That's so she is not Woo Woo.
Speaker 1: But at that what I really appreciate is like after
Speaker 1: class is over, she'll encourage us to stay in stretch
Speaker 1: and then she'll light a little like bundle of something
Speaker 1: and it's not safe, it's something else, but she'll light
Speaker 1: like a little bundle, like walk around the studio, like
Speaker 1: move the move the air, because you'll be in those
Speaker 1: workout classes and sometimes people be like fucking crazy, like
Speaker 1: crazy energy is coming off of people.
Speaker 2: And yeahtimes it's.
Speaker 1: Like mad competitive or like I remember taking a class
Speaker 1: one time where it was like, oh my god, we're
Speaker 1: all in this class is not a private Like you
Speaker 1: can't keep stopping and having the teacher explain everything to you.
Speaker 1: You should have taken an introduction, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: oh no, so she resets the room and she resets
Speaker 1: the energy, you know, And like, I think that's the
Speaker 1: same thing that you're talking about. It's like you came
Speaker 1: back from this big job. You see your house with
Speaker 1: fresh eyes. I did the same thing when when I
Speaker 1: came back from the last job that I was in,
Speaker 1: I like was like, oh, this closet is too full
Speaker 1: of clothes. I need to get rid of stuff. This
Speaker 1: is yeah, why do we have all these toddler toys?
Speaker 1: She's not a toddler anymore, you know?
Speaker 2: Right, Oh my god, I got rid of like five
Speaker 2: bags of toys.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 4: It was great because we definitely had a jump and
Speaker 4: even I asked Axel. I was like, Axel, can I
Speaker 4: donate all these paw patrol toys or whatever not patrol
Speaker 4: PJ masks?
Speaker 2: And he looked at it. He was like, yeah, like
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's I don't want to care about those guys anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't care about those guys. I'm not four. I
Speaker 2: had five.
Speaker 1: Miss Meanwhile, ros went to a party that was a
Speaker 1: a what are they called the mask, PJ MA the
Speaker 1: PJ masks. It was like PJ mask theme and she
Speaker 1: was like enthralled because you've never seen it before. And
Speaker 1: I was like I'm starting now, Honey, Like, sorry about it.
Speaker 1: You gonna miss out on that boat?
Speaker 4: Baby?
Speaker 1: Nope, no, no, no oh.
Speaker 2: But the theme song is so catchy. Don't you want
Speaker 2: it to be stuck in your head for days on it?
Speaker 1: I absolutely don't. I would prefer any Disney musical, any
Speaker 1: Disney musical, I would prefer if any of you know
Speaker 1: that about me already, you're not surprised any Disney musical,
Speaker 1: any of them. You choose Hercules, Bless my Soul, hercusan
Speaker 1: a roll. Do you have to pay rights for that?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: What about like toxic people or situations that you want
Speaker 1: to escape. Like what about like resetting a friendship? Can
Speaker 1: you reset a friendship? I don't know if you can.
Speaker 1: I think I think I've tried, but I definitely have
Speaker 1: not seated in our friendship.
Speaker 4: Oh like like oh like resetting the friendship, like this
Speaker 4: is not working and we're going to try to improve it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very I have succeeded once in that I
Speaker 1: have to.
Speaker 2: Actually I just saw have one. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a very hard, honest conversation. There were
Speaker 1: a lot of times, yes, but it really has helped
Speaker 1: me see this friend in a totally different light and
Speaker 1: like give her a lot more grace. And I think
Speaker 1: she was able to give.
Speaker 2: Me more grace.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we're sort of honest about like I don't
Speaker 1: like when you do this, or I I don't like
Speaker 1: when you do this. It doesn't this feels hard to
Speaker 1: me or whatever, like and you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: our friendships, I think a lot of people's friendships and
Speaker 1: adulthood are based around like work relationships. So it's to
Speaker 1: be tricky too, because like sometimes the sometimes there's like
Speaker 1: an inequality and like power there maybe like someone sure
Speaker 1: end of your boss or like you know, you're underneath them, yeah.
Speaker 4: Or someone's like killing it. Yeah, And yeah, it can
Speaker 4: be tricky. It can get tricky. It can get really tricky. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I found though, since I had a friendship reset once
Speaker 4: and it was a very old friend and it was
Speaker 4: kind of after I became a mom, and I sort
Speaker 4: of felt like the friend wasn't.
Speaker 1: Ingrained in my new life, right, like I same thing
Speaker 1: that happened to me. I was like, yeah, where'd you go?
Speaker 4: And it was very telling that with some people, I
Speaker 4: was like, well, that's not surprising, like they've dropped off,
Speaker 4: you know, they've disappeared. But this person, I was like,
Speaker 4: this is very upsetting to me. And that kind of
Speaker 4: told me that that was a friendship I still cared
Speaker 4: very deeply about. That was very important to me. And
Speaker 4: so I had the like hard conversation being like, Hey,
Speaker 4: I feel like you're being a shitty friend. I feel
Speaker 4: like I've gone through this big life change and you
Speaker 4: don't know anything about it and you don't know anything
Speaker 4: about my kid, and yeah, you know care and it
Speaker 4: feels gross and.
Speaker 2: I don't like it.
Speaker 4: And it was a really hard conversation and the person
Speaker 4: was a little defensive at first, and it took actually
Speaker 4: another friend of theirs outside that doesn't even know me
Speaker 4: at the time. Wow, And they said to them, oh, well,
Speaker 4: she's just mostly just fighting for your friendship, Like she's
Speaker 4: just trying to fight for you to be back and
Speaker 4: like her life in the way you've always been. And
Speaker 4: then that's what made the person go like, oh, and
Speaker 4: then we have another good and then it was great
Speaker 4: after that, and then they came out to visit and
Speaker 4: spend time and like our relationship has been what it
Speaker 4: used to always be ever since, you know, And I
Speaker 4: find that it is that if you have that like
Speaker 4: whole of like I can't I want to say something.
Speaker 4: It's gonna be so hard, it's gonna be so uncomfortable,
Speaker 4: but like I cannot let go without saying the things
Speaker 4: that I feel like I need to say. And then
Speaker 4: there're some friends I feel like, especially as I get older,
Speaker 4: I'm like, Nope, I do not.
Speaker 3: Have it in me.
Speaker 4: It girl bye you never Yeah, I'm gonna maybe ghost
Speaker 4: a little bit, and but or like just like not
Speaker 4: try as much and I send you many blessings.
Speaker 1: I'm not like trying to send any bad jus.
Speaker 3: You your way.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, God, that's so funny. Oh, bless her heart,
Speaker 1: I send your blessing. I send her blessing. That's so funny,
Speaker 1: God damn it. But also yeah, it's it's I'm okay
Speaker 1: if I don't see you. You know you really said it,
Speaker 1: though it's like you were that person said it. Mollis.
Speaker 1: Is fighting for your friendship right, like a reason that
Speaker 1: you choose is you choosing to go I'm going to
Speaker 1: fight for something, right, I'm going to fight for that yes,
Speaker 1: thing that I want. I'm going to fight to clear
Speaker 1: out five bags of my kids toys of yeah, PJ masks.
Speaker 1: I almost said Pa patrol that. It wasn't like I'm
Speaker 1: going to fight for this friendship. I'm going to fight
Speaker 1: for this like you know, new way of dealing with
Speaker 1: my emotions or whatever, or I'm going to fight against
Speaker 1: this like I mean, I'm thinking of my friend with
Speaker 1: that crazy birth was like I'm still going to fight
Speaker 1: to have Like I'm not going to take this as
Speaker 1: like a failure on my part, like oh I failed,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't have the birth that I wanted.
Speaker 1: But I'm still going to like use this moment to
Speaker 1: go like, well, there's not like Pollyanna ing it and
Speaker 1: like going like there's still just look at the positives,
Speaker 1: but like, okay, well, what else is happening here? Like
Speaker 1: what else is in this moment?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Like it's still the birth of your child.
Speaker 4: It's still an incredible, amazing event that made Yeah, was
Speaker 4: she able to reset in the in the middle of
Speaker 4: it or do you know?
Speaker 1: I think she? I think it was, Like honestly, I
Speaker 1: think it scarred her because when I was coming up
Speaker 1: with a birth plan, and for those of you don't
Speaker 1: that don't have kids, a lot of doctors and doulas
Speaker 1: and people that are helping birth a baby will tell
Speaker 1: you to come up with like a plan of like
Speaker 1: what you want to have happened? What's your ideal situation
Speaker 1: when you have a baby, Like I don't want to
Speaker 1: feel anything, and she just slides right out in ten minutes,
Speaker 1: you know, Like that would be an ideal situation, a
Speaker 1: great birth plan. Is it realistic? Probably not if it's
Speaker 1: your first baby. But like when I was coming up
Speaker 1: with a birthlan, she was so adamant that I.
Speaker 3: Not.
Speaker 1: She well she wasn't like adamant, but she was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you should get induced. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you should get in and do this because
Speaker 1: like a lot of inductions end with the cesarean, and like,
Speaker 1: I just don't want you to have to have a cesarean.
Speaker 1: And I was like, there's no controlling this, Like there's
Speaker 1: no there's no real controlling this. There might be a
Speaker 1: situation in which that is what ends up happening, and
Speaker 1: like I don't I'm not signing up to have one necessarily,
Speaker 1: but like I'm not. I just want to come through this.
Speaker 1: I just want to come through this. I just want
Speaker 1: to come through this. And so like maybe at the end, yeah,
Speaker 1: And she kept talking about like how much recovery it was,
Speaker 1: and I understand, it's a lot of recovery. I actually
Speaker 1: don't understand because I didn't have one. It is, but
Speaker 1: you know what, your vagina is still intact after the
Speaker 1: sea section. Shout out to my C section sisters. Shout
Speaker 1: out to those of you that can still poop like
Speaker 1: you used to be able to poop.
Speaker 2: I did not have a C section.
Speaker 1: But and that's another episode next week. I'm more better,
Speaker 1: just kidding. You know all this, you know some people,
Speaker 1: I get it. It is a it is a rougher recovery,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I think she's your vagina still looks the same.
Speaker 1: So there are pluses and minuses on both sides. Listen
Speaker 1: to all things, to all things. I think the reset
Speaker 1: of like having a baby is a big one, you know,
Speaker 1: huge huge.
Speaker 4: That is a huge top to bottom reset, top to
Speaker 4: top to booty, top to booty too.
Speaker 1: You can cut that out if you need to. Guys,
Speaker 1: just talking to our producers, they're probably horrified right now
Speaker 1: that we're talking about this.
Speaker 2: I do feel like.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's about having the understanding that like it's not
Speaker 1: so this is where this is where the deity stuff
Speaker 1: comes in, right, Like I on one hand, it's cool
Speaker 1: that we're all interested in like longevity and having our
Speaker 1: hearts work well and not having a build up of
Speaker 1: cholesterol in our veins and and you know, having systems
Speaker 1: that work well and support us for living as long
Speaker 1: of a life as.
Speaker 2: Aging gracefully whatever that means or just.
Speaker 1: Plain aging like that would a privilege to get old, right.
Speaker 1: But like on the other hanging and I remember doing
Speaker 1: like juice cleanses and stuff, and you know, it's like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna reset my system, and like maybe that's the
Speaker 1: case for you if you're doing a juice cleanse. But
Speaker 1: the case for me was like I want to lose
Speaker 1: some weight and like, right, I don't know, like that
Speaker 1: kind of reset is not I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: that that shocking your system and being like hard on
Speaker 1: yourself works for everybody. It does work for some people.
Speaker 1: I have a friend who's a trainer. I have a
Speaker 1: friend who's a trainer, and he had this fantastic birthday
Speaker 1: party the other day. It was like in the backyard
Speaker 1: and it was just a bunch of pizzas and a
Speaker 1: cake and giant bowls of candy. It was amazing. It
Speaker 1: was like being at a lot of kids party, Like
Speaker 1: they were like get back so he could fill with candy.
Speaker 1: Cu like, Tony, how do you eat like this? You know,
Speaker 1: like this this can't be good for you? And he
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I've been on a diet for three months.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that can't be good for
Speaker 1: you either, Like all right, I could never, but Tony
Speaker 1: can you know? And he like that's like there's some
Speaker 1: kind of like it's like those people that can do
Speaker 1: like ultra marathoning and stuff sometimes where they're like I
Speaker 1: have a goal for my body. I'm going I do
Speaker 1: this so that like I can get to this gool
Speaker 1: like to make myself stronger or whatever. And that's what
Speaker 1: he's doing right. Like that, there's a difference of like
Speaker 1: I have a goal that's a number, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to reset myself to this number, and like everything's going
Speaker 1: to be great. My whole life's going to be perfect,
Speaker 1: because like news flash, babe, Like you could do every
Speaker 1: reset ever and like unless you'd be resetting your soul,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's just not are we doing just outward work or
Speaker 1: are we doing in or to outwards? Sometimes it's just outwards.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just outward. Like people think they're going to
Speaker 1: overhaul their like whole life by you know, losing ten
Speaker 1: pounds and that's such a or by getting into a
Speaker 1: relationship or whatever, yeah, breaking up with someone. And sometimes
Speaker 1: that's true. I will say, like there was a big
Speaker 1: reset for me when I got into this relationship with
Speaker 1: Brad my husband. I don't know if you know, I'm
Speaker 1: married Melissa and my husband's name is brain what, But
Speaker 1: there was that a big reset there because I really
Speaker 1: felt like, for the first time I felt like oh,
Speaker 1: I really deserve to be happy, Like I deserve to
Speaker 1: be happy.
Speaker 2: I remember that time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's not like he was the one that
Speaker 1: was like that was the reason I was happy, But
Speaker 1: I was happy, and it was just kind of feeling like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can be in a relationship that's like kind of
Speaker 1: functioning and I feel good and I feel happy and
Speaker 1: we're not fighting all the time, and it's not like
Speaker 1: I don't have to change everything about myself to like
Speaker 1: fit into this idea of what this other person wants
Speaker 1: me to be.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the thing I remember being like a big
Speaker 4: aha moment for you when you first met him, was like, oh,
Speaker 4: I can just like completely be myselfself.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and not have.
Speaker 4: This feeling of wanting to shift or change anything to accommodate,
Speaker 4: which had maybe been something you had done in the past.
Speaker 4: More maybe I threw out something being huge short shorts
Speaker 4: because the person that I was with was struggling with
Speaker 4: my butt out for other people to see.
Speaker 2: So yeah, more better.
Speaker 3: Motter.
Speaker 2: So oh, I thought this was interesting.
Speaker 4: The Stanford end of the History Illusion, they did a
Speaker 4: study and they found psychologists found that people consistently underestimate
Speaker 4: how much they will change in the next decade compared
Speaker 4: to how much they've already changed. Like they just think, well,
Speaker 4: this is this is it that's so weird, right, Like
Speaker 4: it's so weird to me because maybe and I mean,
Speaker 4: this is something you and I have always had in common.
Speaker 4: Why we even started this podcast, why this is even
Speaker 4: like the topic of this podcast is, like, I have
Speaker 4: no idea who I'm going to be in ten years. No,
Speaker 4: At the same time, I feel like I'm very much,
Speaker 4: in a lot of ways the same person I was
Speaker 4: ten years ago, right in a way. And I think
Speaker 4: just in terms of like core values and like, I
Speaker 4: don't think my personality has changed that much since like ever,
Speaker 4: but I think that I've grown in ways I could
Speaker 4: not have possibly imagined. I think I'm more resilient and
Speaker 4: tougher than I could have ever imagined.
Speaker 2: Like I thought I was so tough when I was younger,
Speaker 2: and I look back and I'm like, you were a sheep.
Speaker 1: But I looking ahead, I have no idea.
Speaker 2: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I have aspirations, hopefully of who I'm going to be
Speaker 1: in ten years. I widen my eyes at the same
Speaker 1: time that you said aspirations and I just want you
Speaker 1: to know that that was not because you said aspirations,
Speaker 1: but it was because I was writing down twenty thirty
Speaker 1: five and I was like, what, how how is that
Speaker 1: a real number that we are gonna hopefully be alive for,
Speaker 1: you know, like we're.
Speaker 2: Going to be alive. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the idea of just like, oh no, I'll just
Speaker 1: be this but ten years older, I don't know. There's
Speaker 1: something that kind of makes me sad about that mentality.
Speaker 1: But also don't you remember being like eighteen and being like, well,
Speaker 1: I guess this is it.
Speaker 4: I mean, this is.
Speaker 1: As this is it. I'm going to be like this
Speaker 1: is it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Or I remember like freaking out about turning thirty goding
Speaker 4: like right, and it was so the beginning of so
Speaker 4: many things.
Speaker 2: I hadn't even broke booked Brooklyn when I came through.
Speaker 1: It, Like I mean, think about brag. But how I
Speaker 1: know everybody has to go through it. They have to
Speaker 1: go through their own little like oh god, I'm so
Speaker 1: terrified it's turning thre you know, I understand that, But
Speaker 1: from the other side of it, it's like brah, you know,
Speaker 1: like it's great, it's awesome, It's there's nothing to be
Speaker 1: scared of. You can be dead inside when you're seventeen,
Speaker 1: or you can be the fullest, most alive version of
Speaker 1: yourself when you're eighty seven. It's all about like how
Speaker 1: you're holding that inside, you know. Yeah, I just I
Speaker 1: wrote down twenty thirty five, two thousand and forty five,
Speaker 1: twenty and fifty five, and then I'm going to write
Speaker 1: how old I'm going to be next to each of them.
Speaker 1: But then I stopped doing because my hands started sweating.
Speaker 1: My back's also sweating when I'm thinking about this, So
Speaker 1: apparently I'm also nervous about these resets that are coming
Speaker 1: up in my life.
Speaker 3: More Better.
Speaker 1: Anyway, what'd you learn today? I learned that I'm terrified
Speaker 1: of the future. Jesus.
Speaker 4: I learned that I think I've been through a lot
Speaker 4: more resets than I ever thought about. And it's all okay,
Speaker 4: but it's all like good. I think most of the resets.
Speaker 4: I mean, of course, there's some. We didn't even talk
Speaker 4: about bad resets. Dealing with bad resets.
Speaker 2: We don't need to.
Speaker 1: This podcast is called More Better. It's okay, you know,
Speaker 1: let's keep it pause. But yeah, but that like I think,
Speaker 1: I think, I really like the idea of a reset.
Speaker 4: I think I like the idea of it being an
Speaker 4: option as a way to like move forward or have
Speaker 4: some or feel just movement, like I'm in control of
Speaker 4: changing the narrative, or I'm in charge, I'm in control
Speaker 4: of reframing the situation right, because that's what sometimes a
Speaker 4: reset is, is just reframing the thing right to help
Speaker 4: yourself work through it or get on the other side
Speaker 4: of it, or process it.
Speaker 1: Take the cartridge out blowing it, put it back to
Speaker 1: blowing it. If you get that reference, we love you
Speaker 1: so much, gen Z is not going to get that
Speaker 1: I love you so much. You're in the right spot.
Speaker 4: If you don't get that reference, Good for you for
Speaker 4: being here, because I did not.
Speaker 1: Seek out this type of narrative when I was your age.
Speaker 1: So welcome, welcome. Do you feel a little more better?
Speaker 1: I always feel a little more better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I'm with you, Okay, I'll talk to you
Speaker 1: next time. Then next time, bye bye, more and more better.
Speaker 1: Do you have something you'd like to be more better
Speaker 1: at that you want us to talk about in a
Speaker 1: future episode.
Speaker 4: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 4: one of our tips and tricks. Shoot us your thoughts
Speaker 4: and ideas at Morebetter pod at gmail dot com and
Speaker 4: include a voice note if you want to be featured
Speaker 4: on the pod. Ooh More Better with Stephanie Melissa is
Speaker 4: a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikudura podcast netw
Speaker 4: hosted by Me, Steffie Beatriz, and Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 1: More Better is produced by ISIS Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 4: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Humero, along
Speaker 4: with Wilmar Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V Sound
Speaker 4: and ISIS Madrid.
Speaker 1: This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by
Speaker 1: Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison.
Speaker 2: Davenport and Hello Boy.
Speaker 4: Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and photography by
Speaker 4: David Avolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 4: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2: See you next week's suck Us.
Speaker 1: Bye