Speaker 1: Whatever the answer is, and whatever you figure out, it's
Speaker 1: not easy. It's going to be a huge mountain for
Speaker 1: you to climb. And my heart goes out to you.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you are You're going to have
Speaker 1: to tackle maybe the greatest challenge of your life. Maybe
Speaker 1: what's up? Guys? Welcome to the podcast is episode one
Speaker 1: oh four. Got one of my favorite buddies, favorite guests.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me back, Bernie Calcot. Yep, we're here everyone.
Speaker 1: Every time you're on the podcast, people say more Bernie,
Speaker 1: and in fact they make the questions specific to Bernie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so many times. And that's what this podcast is. We
Speaker 1: answer your questions. If you have anything, email Grangersmith podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We'll put it in the queue.
Speaker 1: We'll get to it, and it could be about any subject.
Speaker 1: I feel the weight of your questions. I realized that
Speaker 1: this podcast has become something where you want to bounce
Speaker 1: an idea off of us, and we're going to talk
Speaker 1: through it with no notes, no preparation, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: speak to you as though we're just three friends hanging
Speaker 1: out trying to give some advice in real time, walking
Speaker 1: through it slowly in long form, which is why I
Speaker 1: love podcast. Thank you for all the different platforms you're
Speaker 1: listening on, whether it's Spotify or Apple Music or YouTube
Speaker 1: or whatever your favorite podcast style platform is. Thank you.
Speaker 1: You guys have made this one of the top podcasts
Speaker 1: in all the music genre and love you for that.
Speaker 1: And we're so grateful for this platform. And Bernie, you've
Speaker 1: been coming for probably over a year now as a guest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which is awesome. I thought for sure I was gonna
Speaker 1: bomb this thing the first time I came. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: Granger's not gonna do the podcast anymore. They're gonna cancel
Speaker 1: it after I was on. But or you guys were
Speaker 1: going to cancel me. But you've been so gracious and
Speaker 1: like Grangers, just give me a bunch of feedback from
Speaker 1: you know, meet and greets and whatnot. And so I'll
Speaker 1: keep coming as long as you keep in bite me man, absolutely.
Speaker 1: And can I say real quick, your brother Parker on
Speaker 1: this podcast. He's late twenties, is that right? My goodness?
Speaker 1: He is like his perspective, his responses, his wisdom. I
Speaker 1: don't want to say for being that age, because for
Speaker 1: any age, but to be in the late twenties and
Speaker 1: have the perspective that he has is really awesome to
Speaker 1: listen to. The shout out to Parker listening, buddy, We'll
Speaker 1: get We'll get Parker back on here soon too. Guys,
Speaker 1: if you have anything, like I said, I'm gonna repeat
Speaker 1: it that. The email is Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: I want to blind. I want to jump into this.
Speaker 1: The seventh first one is about being blind, which is
Speaker 1: an interesting I think it's the first time you've dealt
Speaker 1: with something like this, but the subject line is the
Speaker 1: first time. Yeah. The subject line says blind relationship slash
Speaker 1: Bernie is my fave. Oh stop it. They love you, Bernie,
Speaker 1: they love you. The question is short and it says this.
Speaker 1: My name is Alison. I'm twenty four years old. Back
Speaker 1: in November twenty twenty, I became blind unexpectedly. My boyfriend
Speaker 1: of five years says that going blind doesn't change how
Speaker 1: he feels about me, But how do I curb the
Speaker 1: nagging feeling that I'm going to hold him back from
Speaker 1: doing things that two sided people would enjoy? Thank you?
Speaker 1: I love the podcast. Definitely never heard that one before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's a new Yeah. So November twenty twenty now
Speaker 1: so that means that I'm guessing three and a half
Speaker 1: four years they had a relationship where she could see,
Speaker 1: and then she became blind pretty recently. And it's an
Speaker 1: understandable nagging feeling that she has. It's I want to
Speaker 1: I want to validate her her feeling that if you
Speaker 1: lose one of your five senses, you're going to feel
Speaker 1: lesser of a of a partner in a relationship, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and that you're going to hold that other person back
Speaker 1: from experiencing their life to the fullest. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: you could probably could probably say the same thing about
Speaker 1: if you lost your legs or you lost your hearing.
Speaker 1: I think anytime you anytime you have something that drastically
Speaker 1: changes the way you perceive the world, you're going to
Speaker 1: feel vulnerable. How do we start with Alison. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's a burden that she has to carry, but she's
Speaker 1: also now her husband is now carrying with her. So
Speaker 1: seek wise counsel. I think comes to comes to mind
Speaker 1: in terms of seeking other relationships that are similar. We're
Speaker 1: either maybe someone's in a wheelchair and the other person's not,
Speaker 1: and those kind of relationships that are strong and well
Speaker 1: grounded would be a good resource for Allison. Absolutely. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's probably a community of people that have already found
Speaker 1: each other and could be a support system for her
Speaker 1: and her husband that they just didn't know until they
Speaker 1: kind of entered into this. Yeah. Yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: you're going to learn a lot about this boyfriend. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a boyfriend. It's a boyfriend. Oh okay, for some reason,
Speaker 1: I thought it was a husband. I said a husband
Speaker 1: a couple times. Okay, that probably changes it a little bit.
Speaker 1: That definitely changes it. That changes my answer, I think
Speaker 1: a bit. But it doesn't seem like there's any resistance
Speaker 1: from him. Hey, props to the dude he's telling her.
Speaker 1: It does not change the way he feels. And it's
Speaker 1: been it's been well over a year, it's been almost
Speaker 1: two years, supposed to this guy. Well, if he is
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast, and bro, you love this girl
Speaker 1: enough to stay with her even after she's became blind,
Speaker 1: you need to marry her already, right, Yeah. Absolutely, But
Speaker 1: let's look at the benefits for this dude. He doesn't
Speaker 1: have to comb his hair anymore, that's right. He doesn't
Speaker 1: have to worry about what he wears as much anymore.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's kind of nice. Yeah. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about how you know, my clothes are
Speaker 1: kind of laid out. It's like okay, yeah, I'm I
Speaker 1: aware of that. Okay, God, no, go back in and
Speaker 1: change like okay. Help that happens a lot. Help me
Speaker 1: out someone that has an impairment like this. Help me
Speaker 1: out with this, because I've heard. It's my understanding that
Speaker 1: when you lose since like sight, that other senses are enhanced.
Speaker 1: Have you heard that? Yeah, yeah, I've heard that that
Speaker 1: you you're the human body starts to compensate, and so
Speaker 1: you get better hearing, or maybe your smell gets better,
Speaker 1: or maybe your sense of touch obviously would get better
Speaker 1: because you're going to start feeling more throughout your surroundings,
Speaker 1: and so you are your body's going to compensate. I'm
Speaker 1: speaking a little bit out of terms here because I
Speaker 1: can't relate to this, but I can relate to you
Speaker 1: being vulnerable in the situation, and I want to commend
Speaker 1: you on emailing us and feeling this vulnerability, and I
Speaker 1: would I would encourage you to kind of lean into
Speaker 1: that vulnerability with your boyfriend so that he knows that
Speaker 1: you're not just blindly confident about you're the same person,
Speaker 1: because you're not the same person anymore, and that's not
Speaker 1: a bad thing, but you are different. And I think
Speaker 1: we all go through seasons or times chapters in our
Speaker 1: life where things change, Like I have impairment that have
Speaker 1: happened to me. You do, everyone does. Where something happens
Speaker 1: in your life and from that that moment on your
Speaker 1: a different You're a different version of yourself, and that's
Speaker 1: what's happened to you. I would I would, I would
Speaker 1: lean into that vulnerability, and aside from your relationship with
Speaker 1: your boyfriend, I would really lean into God's word because
Speaker 1: in the Gospels, the four Gospels that we have of
Speaker 1: Jesus's life on Earth, blindness comes up a lot. Jesus
Speaker 1: talks about blindness a lot, and it's never in a
Speaker 1: negative light. Ever, sometimes it's in a positive light, like
Speaker 1: I'm going to open your eyes to the Kingdom of
Speaker 1: Heaven in a new way that you could never see
Speaker 1: with your earthly eyes. My eyes are going to go
Speaker 1: out one day, yours are two. I might die at
Speaker 1: the same moment or not, but regardless, all of our
Speaker 1: eyes are going to go out at some point. You
Speaker 1: might Allison have been given a gift with this blindness
Speaker 1: that is probably hard to recognize right now, but this
Speaker 1: might be a gift that you're going to be able
Speaker 1: to lean into how you perceive the world in a
Speaker 1: completely different way, and that could benefit somebody. So I
Speaker 1: want you to recognize that you are an asset to
Speaker 1: this boyfriend, or if you don't stay with this guy,
Speaker 1: you're an asset to someone else in the future. You
Speaker 1: are bringing a lot to the table as a person, Alison,
Speaker 1: and I want you to recognize that, yeah, and also
Speaker 1: recognize that I'm not sure. I feel like we've said before,
Speaker 1: like a lot of these podcast questions can kind of
Speaker 1: like be answered with like this handful of different responses.
Speaker 1: I feel like this one has a couple of a
Speaker 1: couple of them in there, But one of them that
Speaker 1: we haven't mentioned is community for her, specifically for her.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine the counseling and the support and the
Speaker 1: you know, community that you would need if one day
Speaker 1: you could see and then another day you couldn't. Just
Speaker 1: apart from the day to day help me, you know,
Speaker 1: get accustomed to this, just having someone to talk to,
Speaker 1: whether it's a community of friends or an actual counselor
Speaker 1: Because I feel like that is a very traumatic event.
Speaker 1: And so I think, you know, just practically, you know,
Speaker 1: seek out some counsel and community to like help you
Speaker 1: process I used to see and now I don't. What
Speaker 1: does that mean for my life? What does that mean
Speaker 1: for my identity? What does that mean for my relationship?
Speaker 1: And just process that with other people. I mean the
Speaker 1: same way that you are in some way with us,
Speaker 1: and that we're encouraging everybody to do, like find your tribe,
Speaker 1: find your community, and wrestle through these things with each other,
Speaker 1: support each other through them. So I think that's something
Speaker 1: practical that she can do. Absolutely that's the best advice
Speaker 1: I know to be able to give you, Alison. I
Speaker 1: want to finish with this last thought for you. There
Speaker 1: might be a feeling with this boyfriend at any moment,
Speaker 1: if he starts to turn and not be the guy
Speaker 1: that you need or deserve, there might be a feeling
Speaker 1: in you that wants to hold on to him because
Speaker 1: he's the last relationship that you'll have that you will
Speaker 1: know what they look like. Like. So strange thought, but
Speaker 1: possible that you could this guy could become a jerk.
Speaker 1: And you justify that by saying, well, I got to
Speaker 1: stay with him, because if I move on, I won't
Speaker 1: know what the next guy even looks like, and that's
Speaker 1: a big disadvantage. So I want to rebuke that and
Speaker 1: just say, let's go with character and integrity and these
Speaker 1: core values honesty that you could get from a boyfriend
Speaker 1: or relationship that has nothing to do with what they
Speaker 1: look like, and lean into that comfort that no matter
Speaker 1: what happens you, you're gonna be Okay, You're gonna this
Speaker 1: is gonna be, this is gonna be really good for you.
Speaker 1: Thank you for emailing. This is a it's a serious question,
Speaker 1: and thank you for opening up for for us on
Speaker 1: this podcast with this and sharing it. Oh this is interesting,
Speaker 1: no particular order. The next one that just popped up says,
Speaker 1: help angry husband. Let's do it first, first parentheses. Have
Speaker 1: you ever been an angry husband? Man? I mean a
Speaker 1: different direction, but I'm gonna I'm not going to claim
Speaker 1: that I'm perfect in anyway. The first thing that says
Speaker 1: is anonymous, Please, okay, you got my back one. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to mess this up. You've gotten better, man,
Speaker 1: You've gotten a lot better call him anonymous, refer to
Speaker 1: him as anonymous. Okay, it says, did they sign their
Speaker 1: name at the bottom of there's no name at the bottom,
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure that she doesn't say her name anytime,
Speaker 1: and they've learned. Hey, Granger, I listened to all your
Speaker 1: podcasts and almost always agree with your advice. I think
Speaker 1: that's a compliment. You could say it this way, I
Speaker 1: almost always agree with your advice, instead of I almost
Speaker 1: always agree with your advice. I'll say it the former way.
Speaker 1: So here's the problem. My husband and I have been
Speaker 1: married for seven years. He was my first boyfriend, my
Speaker 1: first everything. I love him. I can't imagine my life
Speaker 1: without him. But dot dot dot he has problems with
Speaker 1: anger and bad language. I've often tried to talk to
Speaker 1: him about these issues, but he either brushes it off
Speaker 1: or gets angry at me for bringing it up. Sometimes
Speaker 1: he'll admit that he has a problem and vows to change,
Speaker 1: but the next day it's forgotten he goes back to
Speaker 1: his bad habits. He professes to be a Christian parentheses
Speaker 1: when he's not angry, faithfully attends church and reads the Bible.
Speaker 1: But then he'll get upset over this all his things
Speaker 1: and cuss and yell at me. I'm just so tired
Speaker 1: of this behavior, and I'm starting to regret marrying him
Speaker 1: when I think of what I'll probably have to go
Speaker 1: through over the next, say, forty to fifty years. God
Speaker 1: has blessed us with ex excuse me, God has not
Speaker 1: blessed us with a family. And I feel somewhat guilty
Speaker 1: for saying this, but a part of me is glad
Speaker 1: that we won't have kids that will be subjected to this.
Speaker 1: He often apologizes to me, but I'm having a hard
Speaker 1: time believing him when he says he's sorry. I know
Speaker 1: I can't change him, and only Jesus in his heart
Speaker 1: can do that. But do you have any advice on
Speaker 1: how I could react or how to cope with this?
Speaker 1: This is one of these issues where without her with us,
Speaker 1: we don't know the extent of this anger. We don't
Speaker 1: know the extent of when she says he yells and
Speaker 1: cusses at me like that's abuse, And so I want
Speaker 1: to preface before we say anything that I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know the extent of what you mean by
Speaker 1: yelling and cussing at you, like, is it just an
Speaker 1: angry man with a good heart and he falls off
Speaker 1: the handle and he needs some kind of anger management
Speaker 1: or is this guy abusing you verbally in a way
Speaker 1: that is damaging to your soul? Right, So I want
Speaker 1: to say that I don't know, Guys, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe you can address like the lowest form of that
Speaker 1: and then the greatest form of that. I'm guessing it's
Speaker 1: probably somewhere in between. But maybe so she can you know,
Speaker 1: she's not here with us, but you can say like, Okay, hey,
Speaker 1: if it's kind of here, maybe this would be the advice.
Speaker 1: But if it's here, this would be the advice. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I got a feeling that a lot of people listening
Speaker 1: are dealing with something like this fallen, broken world, and
Speaker 1: there's a lot of anger. There's a lot of anxiety
Speaker 1: right now. There always has been, but we could speak
Speaker 1: to it right now with the state of the world,
Speaker 1: the everything that's happening in the world around us creates
Speaker 1: anger and that gets misguided and sometimes redirects to the
Speaker 1: spouse because that's the person that's there and takes the brunt,
Speaker 1: that takes the heat. And it's a terrible, terrible thing.
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to explain why I understand how this
Speaker 1: could happen and how a lot of people are probably
Speaker 1: in this kind of situation. We should probably address. There's
Speaker 1: a little bit multi layered. We should probably address that
Speaker 1: he professes to be a Christian parentheses when he's not angry.
Speaker 1: I don't really understand that. Yeah, as you were reading it,
Speaker 1: I almost didn't want to get into addressing him because
Speaker 1: I would just kind of fair enough. I would just
Speaker 1: kind of get I would go off on a tangent
Speaker 1: because we don't know enough. We don't know enough, and
Speaker 1: I would be making accusations and assumptions that based on
Speaker 1: his behavior, would bring me to some conclusions that are
Speaker 1: just really hard to make. But the it doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like the fruits of the spirit are evident in his life.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, she said that he does come back
Speaker 1: and say sorry, But maybe we can get to that
Speaker 1: in addressing her. But so her question is how can
Speaker 1: I react or cope with this? And I hope you know, Anonymous,
Speaker 1: this is not Whatever the answer is, and whatever you
Speaker 1: figure out, it's not easy. It's going to be a
Speaker 1: huge mountain for you to climb. And my heart goes
Speaker 1: out to you. I'm so sorry that you are. You're
Speaker 1: going to have to tackle maybe the greatest challenge of
Speaker 1: your life. Maybe if you're out there and you've been
Speaker 1: in an abusive relationship of some way, maybe comment your
Speaker 1: experience with this person. Maybe there's some like experienceial wisdom
Speaker 1: out there amongst the nation that Anonymous. I hope you
Speaker 1: read all the comments, and maybe you can not just
Speaker 1: from me and Griz, but you can get some inspiration
Speaker 1: or some guidance from everybody else too, who's actually been
Speaker 1: in the thick of it. Seven years married, first boyfriend,
Speaker 1: so it means a lot of years before that first everything.
Speaker 1: Love him, can't imagine life without him. That's great. That's
Speaker 1: a good setup for coping. That's a good setup for
Speaker 1: it's a good reason for you to do what the
Speaker 1: Bible says and honor him. That the Bible says to
Speaker 1: honor your wives, husbands, honor your wives. And so we
Speaker 1: can't speak to him, but I could speak to you, Anonymous,
Speaker 1: and just say honoring him back might not change his anger,
Speaker 1: but will it will put your soul at rest in
Speaker 1: a lot of other ways if you are if you're
Speaker 1: engaging in his anger, anger can become almost like like
Speaker 1: an addiction. When someone is under the influence of a
Speaker 1: substance when they become under the influence of their anger,
Speaker 1: it's almost like they're a different person. And so to
Speaker 1: engage with that different person, the person that's under the influence,
Speaker 1: you're never going to win. You're never going to come
Speaker 1: out and say the right things unless you confidently not
Speaker 1: not a not a way that you could get hurt
Speaker 1: in any way. But if you could confidently honor him
Speaker 1: instead of engaging with this, this this animal side of him, No,
Speaker 1: I think that's good. I think too, like communication, you know,
Speaker 1: if we're talking about the different silos that these things
Speaker 1: can fall in, Like maybe when he's not when you
Speaker 1: guys are just on a date night, or you feel
Speaker 1: like this is a really good moment that we're having,
Speaker 1: maybe just ask him about work and about maybe his friends,
Speaker 1: and like try to find out. I guarantee you this
Speaker 1: anger is coming out of pressure and anxiety and stress.
Speaker 1: So if maybe you can start to like understand what
Speaker 1: is stressing him, what is making him impatient. Maybe you're
Speaker 1: doing something that's part of it, maybe like without knowing,
Speaker 1: and you can you know, recognize, or maybe it has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with that, Maybe it's something at work,
Speaker 1: but you understanding and telling him, hey, babe, you know,
Speaker 1: why don't you not worry about that promotion? Like I don't.
Speaker 1: We can we can keep the stuff we have, we
Speaker 1: can actually move, We don't need money to be happy.
Speaker 1: Take the pressure that I know men can feel sometimes
Speaker 1: about providing and reputation and all this. Maybe you just
Speaker 1: help alleviate that. I know that my wife has done
Speaker 1: such a good job of recognizing when things at work
Speaker 1: or different areas of life are kind of like there's
Speaker 1: pressure of just helping to re not to like contribute
Speaker 1: to that, but to help relieve some of that, and say, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: let me let me take care of the kids. Why
Speaker 1: don't you go on a bike ride, or why don't you,
Speaker 1: you know, go do something, because yeah, I could definitely
Speaker 1: sense you need some space and and man, just I
Speaker 1: don't even need the bike ride. I don't even need
Speaker 1: to get away. Just her recognizing, yes, I don't know
Speaker 1: why I'm so overloaded, and her telling me, hey, why
Speaker 1: don't you take some of those things off your plate.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be happy with you no matter what.
Speaker 1: Maybe that helps his overall level of patience and everything
Speaker 1: grow because he's not he's not stretched past his margin
Speaker 1: in life. He has some margins, so it's like something
Speaker 1: happens and he's not flipping, you know, flying off the
Speaker 1: handle right away. Yeah. Right, I think you're so right, man.
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that answer. And there's there's
Speaker 1: the right way to say that, Bernie, And there's probably
Speaker 1: a wrong way to say that. The right way would
Speaker 1: to be like you said and just go I love
Speaker 1: you and I want to be able to contribute to
Speaker 1: some of this stuff that you're you're going with, you're
Speaker 1: going through. How could I help? How could I be
Speaker 1: a better wife to you? Instead of the wrong way
Speaker 1: would be you're angry all the time. Yeah, what's the
Speaker 1: matter with you? What is the matter? Something at work?
Speaker 1: Is there? Something I'm doing? Is there? What's going is
Speaker 1: that your your dad's bothering him? Just we should just
Speaker 1: tell me because you're just anger all the time and
Speaker 1: I can't handle his anger. And here's what you never say.
Speaker 1: And I'll be honest with you. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I could do this for thirty or forty fifty more
Speaker 1: years with you. I just don't know if I could
Speaker 1: do that. And this is not the man that I'm married. Ooh,
Speaker 1: that's a good one. Doun't say that don't say that
Speaker 1: you're just like throwing gasoline on the fire. There's ways
Speaker 1: that you could do this in ways that you can't.
Speaker 1: And just as Bernie spoke about Leslie's wife, there's there's
Speaker 1: things that Amber does for me that and she could.
Speaker 1: You've known this guy for over seven years. You could
Speaker 1: read him. Humans are great at reading each other. So
Speaker 1: Amber will read me. And I don't know if she's
Speaker 1: actively doing this or not. Maybe she'll tell me after
Speaker 1: she hears this podcast, but she'll she'll read that something's
Speaker 1: going on on the road, or that we've been we've
Speaker 1: been going through a tough run of maybe it's county fairs,
Speaker 1: and there's bickering in the crew that we've been through
Speaker 1: some production guys that have yelled at my crew, and
Speaker 1: I'm putting out those fires and I haven't gotten much
Speaker 1: sleep because I got in an early flight. And when
Speaker 1: I come home, Amber will say something like this, she'll say,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for working so hard for this family,
Speaker 1: providing for us. And she'll say that in front of
Speaker 1: the kids, and she'll she'll say out loud to the kids, guys,
Speaker 1: aren't you so lucky that your dad works so hard
Speaker 1: to provide for us and to bring to put food
Speaker 1: on the table, and that just like it takes all
Speaker 1: this this anxiety that I've had at work or with
Speaker 1: friends or whatever's going on, it takes it away and
Speaker 1: reminds me that, oh, yeah, this is what's worth it. This,
Speaker 1: this family, this, this tight knit group is what's worth it.
Speaker 1: And I wonder, Anonymous, if you started being that kind
Speaker 1: of wife, not saying you're not now and I have
Speaker 1: to That's why I preface with this verbal abuse thing
Speaker 1: at the beginning, because I don't know the extent of it,
Speaker 1: but maybe if that's who you leaned into, that kind
Speaker 1: of wife there was always supportive and always honoring and
Speaker 1: always honest and left the communication open where you became
Speaker 1: the person that he could trust with the worst things
Speaker 1: in his life, then I wonder if this starts to
Speaker 1: get distinguished, I mean extinguished a little bit through this anger. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that's great. On the far side of that, I think.
Speaker 1: And you may have hit on this already, like you probably.
Speaker 1: If there is verbal, physical, continuous abuse, you need to
Speaker 1: get some help, like separate yourself from it. No one
Speaker 1: needs to be subjected to that. There needs to be
Speaker 1: intervention with that if I pray that that's not it.
Speaker 1: But if it is, we got no help for you here,
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna need to get some serious help and intervention.
Speaker 1: But I think everything Greg you're saying is right on on.
Speaker 1: I do want to play Devil's advocate for a second.
Speaker 1: That Anonymous may be part of the problem. We don't know.
Speaker 1: We don't know, right, So let's just say, Anonymous, you
Speaker 1: probably need to take an inventory of what you're posture
Speaker 1: and what you're contributing to the relationship. Are you demanding
Speaker 1: of your husband things that he can't fulfill. You're saying,
Speaker 1: I want you here all the time, but I also
Speaker 1: want you to work and buy me this stuff. Are
Speaker 1: you is he caught an attention that you're perpetuating that
Speaker 1: you're creating. Are you part of the problem. You have
Speaker 1: to ask yourself that question. We don't know, and we
Speaker 1: don't you know. I hope I'm not offending you by
Speaker 1: asking that, but you got to ask yourself that, like
Speaker 1: what am I contributing? Is this really? Because a lot
Speaker 1: of times it's so easy to see what the other
Speaker 1: person is to It's like, dude, he's doing this, he's angry,
Speaker 1: he's this but meanwhile you're forgetting that you're being very controlling, manipulative,
Speaker 1: and it's like, hey, I guarantee you. You You start to,
Speaker 1: like Granger said, you start to dig into word and
Speaker 1: look for some guidance there about how you need to
Speaker 1: enter into that relationship with your husband, and maybe all
Speaker 1: of a sudden his attitude starts changing. Like wow, man,
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. I think the last thing I
Speaker 1: could contribute to this is that counseling is a necessity
Speaker 1: to you, guys, regardless of this anger. It's just a
Speaker 1: marriage is a living, breathing, operating machine, and any machine
Speaker 1: that we know in life needs to oil change, needs
Speaker 1: to make change. You need to open the hood. You
Speaker 1: need to check make sure everything's working properly. And that's
Speaker 1: going to require a professional mechanic. Yeah, that's gonna get
Speaker 1: that's gonna help you, guys. And that says nothing really
Speaker 1: nothing to do with his anger. This is this is
Speaker 1: a seven year relationship thing. Anyway that you you should
Speaker 1: seek wise counsel and marriage counseling, but don't at all costs,
Speaker 1: don't approach him with that idea saying you're angry, we
Speaker 1: need to go to counseling. Yeah, you can't say it
Speaker 1: that way because he's gonna say absolutely not the last
Speaker 1: thing that he's going to want to do. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys are a team. You got to see it that way.
Speaker 1: And I'll recommend a book for you guys by Aaron
Speaker 1: and Jamie Ivy called Complimentary and it's a husband wife
Speaker 1: that wrote it together, same topics, but like he wrote
Speaker 1: it by himself, she wrote it by herself and then
Speaker 1: they put it together. So you can see it may
Speaker 1: be something that something simple like hey, babe, let's read this.
Speaker 1: I know Leslie and I read through it and it
Speaker 1: kind of facilitated some conversations that we knew there were
Speaker 1: some pressure points and it's like, oh, that's that's why
Speaker 1: you see this this way. Oh that's why you see
Speaker 1: this this way. So find anything like that that can
Speaker 1: help be a common ground. That's like a reminder, Hey,
Speaker 1: we're a team here, we're on the same team. We're
Speaker 1: not against each other. Love to work, do it. So
Speaker 1: there's two solid options, marriage counseling one on one, or
Speaker 1: a book that you could read together. I'll give you
Speaker 1: one more option and you could do one to the
Speaker 1: three or all three. But a conference setting. There's always
Speaker 1: a couple conferences that could be we would recommend at
Speaker 1: your local church, but there's all kinds of conferences that
Speaker 1: you can go as a couple, and you're not the
Speaker 1: only ones. They're not singling you out, you're a You're
Speaker 1: in a group of other couples that are every guy,
Speaker 1: he man, anonymous. Everyone has problems of some sort in
Speaker 1: their marriage that need maintenance, and sometimes it's easier for
Speaker 1: the husband to sit in a crowd where there's a
Speaker 1: lot of other husbands and a lot of other wives
Speaker 1: that are dealing with a similar issue, and it could
Speaker 1: be a weak in type conference that you go to
Speaker 1: and you could just really cultivate your marriage in that way.
Speaker 1: So there's three good options. And yeah, thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you for the question, and we really hope the best
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, good stuff. We're gonna take a break
Speaker 1: and be right back, guys. Today's podcast is brought to
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Speaker 1: dot com slash granger. Back to the podcast. Okay, we're
Speaker 1: gonna get back into these questions, and I have a
Speaker 1: lot and there's some really great stuff in here. There's
Speaker 1: some heavy stuff, there's some some stuff that you know,
Speaker 1: it's they're difficult, and I want to kind of kick
Speaker 1: it over to you Burns, okay, and you're gonna you're
Speaker 1: gonna help me pick it. Unfortunately, out of this group,
Speaker 1: there's several that just say question for the podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna read several off to you. The first
Speaker 1: one is podcast question, and we have leaving someone you love,
Speaker 1: wedding speaks, question homosexuality, help with my relationship, need advice
Speaker 1: in life, family issues, a couple more questions for the podcast,
Speaker 1: and then I've just got married and I need help. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go I just got married. I need help homosexuality. Yep,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go there. And the last one, if we
Speaker 1: can get to it, will be the second podcast question. Okay,
Speaker 1: and gotcha. So let me click on that just got
Speaker 1: married and need help, which is interesting. That's an interesting
Speaker 1: subject that they would need help just after marriage, it says,
Speaker 1: Hey Granger. I love the podcast. I try to listen
Speaker 1: every time I can. My name is Andrew. Me and
Speaker 1: my wife have been married for three months. I'm currently
Speaker 1: on staff full time at a church doing maintenance. I
Speaker 1: also preach outside of my home pretty often. However, is
Speaker 1: a huge issue. I make the bare minimum of what
Speaker 1: I could make, and that is frustrating every two weeks
Speaker 1: when payroll comes out. Should I step down from the
Speaker 1: role in the church and pursue a secular job. I'm
Speaker 1: not afraid to work a public job. I do not
Speaker 1: believe I would be outside of the Lord's perfect will
Speaker 1: if I did. Christ is sovereign in all things, and
Speaker 1: he does that he does, and right now I'm in
Speaker 1: a season I have to trust Christ more than ever.
Speaker 1: I'm a Calvinist by the way I understand God's hand
Speaker 1: and is working in all of our lives. I just
Speaker 1: feel like I could do more for my little family.
Speaker 1: I have some different job opportunities that I could pursue,
Speaker 1: but if I left, I would want to leave peacefully
Speaker 1: and respectful. I could really use some help in the situation.
Speaker 1: Thanks and God bless It's too easy. He gave himself
Speaker 1: the answer. Yes, you need to leave, he said. He said,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have more that I can do
Speaker 1: Toro five for my family, then go do it. I
Speaker 1: totally agree. Burn. You know, like I understand it scary
Speaker 1: and if you need me and Griz to be like, dude,
Speaker 1: you can do it. What's his name? He says his name?
Speaker 1: He doesn't but his name, I got Andrew, Andrew Andrew. Okay,
Speaker 1: you got our support, man, go for it. It's it's
Speaker 1: out there. Hopefully you have the support of your wife
Speaker 1: to do the same. But it sounds like you know
Speaker 1: what you need to do. It's just taking that last
Speaker 1: step to say, Okay, I'm going to do it, and
Speaker 1: I say go for it. Totally wholeheartedly agree with Bernie.
Speaker 1: I think Bernie's right. I think you kind of answered
Speaker 1: your question through the wording of your question. This is
Speaker 1: on your heart. You just kind of needed a push,
Speaker 1: and so both of our both of us are going
Speaker 1: to say, man, you got opportunities, and you feel the
Speaker 1: Lord's work in your life, and you feel like you
Speaker 1: you have a because guy's ministry is not just standing
Speaker 1: on a pulpit, right, Ministry is in the nuts and
Speaker 1: bolts of life itself. And you seem like Andrew, you're
Speaker 1: a person that understands that you're willing to take that
Speaker 1: and take that that gospel in you and take it
Speaker 1: into the secular world, into a job and to make
Speaker 1: enough to support your little family. I think is admirable
Speaker 1: and totally respectable, and I think you should go for it.
Speaker 1: And can we just speak to a generation real quick, like, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause for a second just so I don't
Speaker 1: go off, But can we stop being so passive? Can
Speaker 1: we be bold? Can we take chances? Can we fail
Speaker 1: and it be okay? Can we not make the right
Speaker 1: decision every time? But just feel like, man, I've talked
Speaker 1: to my community, I've been in the word. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make this decision and I'm going for it instead of
Speaker 1: just like fiddling around with it for ten years and
Speaker 1: then you're still in the same place you were a
Speaker 1: decade later. Make the decision. Just go for it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and Andrew, that's not a knock on you at all.
Speaker 1: It's not to him. This is to like, I feel
Speaker 1: like a generation that's coming up that and maybe we're
Speaker 1: part of that that. I feel like we can just
Speaker 1: overthink things to the point where we just do nothing.
Speaker 1: And that's exactly what the enemy wants us to do.
Speaker 1: Just do nothing, don't make a move. And specifically to Andrew,
Speaker 1: you say that you do get opportunities to preach outside
Speaker 1: of your own church. That's not going away. That's right.
Speaker 1: You still do that. You still do that. So and
Speaker 1: if you take this leap and you say, man, I'm
Speaker 1: going for this God, you are my provider. I'm taking
Speaker 1: a step of faith. I guarantee you what the experience
Speaker 1: that you're going to have through that is going to
Speaker 1: like refine your preaching and give you more faith to
Speaker 1: draw on and experiences to draw on through His word.
Speaker 1: It's all you feel like you got a jump jump man?
Speaker 1: Do it? You know that, Bernie and I believe that
Speaker 1: God directs your path and that you can know His
Speaker 1: will for your life because he is dictating your desires
Speaker 1: and he's dictating your want to. Yeah, that's good. So
Speaker 1: when you feel this desire, you've got to believe if
Speaker 1: you're if you're faithful, and you're a fearful man of God,
Speaker 1: that you you are in the Word, and you've got
Speaker 1: to believe that he has put this desire upon you
Speaker 1: and it's time to act. Do it? Love it man? Okay,
Speaker 1: where are you gonna go now? Almostsexuality? Okay, Granger, hope
Speaker 1: all as well. My parents did a really good job
Speaker 1: of raising my brother and I around church and showing
Speaker 1: us what it means to love Jesus. However, a few
Speaker 1: years ago, my younger brother came out as gay. We
Speaker 1: made it clear to him that we will always love
Speaker 1: him and love him just the same, but we will
Speaker 1: not support his lifestyle. All we can do now is
Speaker 1: pray for him as much as we can. However, we
Speaker 1: can't help but letting the feeling in that we should
Speaker 1: be doing something more, doing something different to help him.
Speaker 1: Would love your advice and or your thoughts. Thanks, Colin
Speaker 1: doesn't say we're Collin's from. Thank you for asking man.
Speaker 1: This is a bold question, and it's it takes it
Speaker 1: takes some guts to send this to us, and yeah,
Speaker 1: tough to navigate. Yeah, tough to navigate your situation. Tough
Speaker 1: for us to navigate this, this topic or this question
Speaker 1: in answering you first, because we don't get to sit
Speaker 1: with you or your family and discuss this. And two,
Speaker 1: this world loves to live in sound bites and so
Speaker 1: and take things out of context. So it's like trying
Speaker 1: to think like whole thoughts and and and guidance and
Speaker 1: direction in this kind of format is really difficult when
Speaker 1: it comes to tough topics or controversial topics. I guess
Speaker 1: you could say, but we'll do our best. Yeah, the world,
Speaker 1: the world screams at this topic right now. It screams
Speaker 1: at this topic. And the first thing we got to
Speaker 1: go to. The first thing we have to say is
Speaker 1: that callin. You're a sinner. I'm a sinner, Bernie's a sinner.
Speaker 1: This is not this is not you being better than
Speaker 1: your brother. I'm not better than your brother. I have
Speaker 1: I have sexual sin in my life. That is, that
Speaker 1: does not make me lesser or better than your brother
Speaker 1: in any way, in fact, makes me an equal human
Speaker 1: in a fallen world. So that has to be, that
Speaker 1: has to just penetrate your family. And if there's anybody
Speaker 1: in your family, I don't think this is you calling,
Speaker 1: and it might not be anybody in your family, but
Speaker 1: I'm just going to say it. If there's anybody that
Speaker 1: thinks that they are more righteous than your brother because
Speaker 1: he's gay, shame on them. You're not gonna You're not
Speaker 1: gonna win any battles. You're not going to prove anything
Speaker 1: by you or anyone in your family. Uh, being more
Speaker 1: righteous or more more moral, or by any means. You're
Speaker 1: just not man. You're not You're not better your dad
Speaker 1: because because your dad is going to reject your your
Speaker 1: brother's homosexuality, your dad's not any better. The only thing
Speaker 1: you could do is just fall back on the word
Speaker 1: of God. Live by the word of God. He speak
Speaker 1: the Gospel, Speak the name of Jesus, Speak the message.
Speaker 1: Speak the message of forgiveness and repentance. Speak the message
Speaker 1: of salvation, and how it's available to anyone with faith
Speaker 1: when repentance in their heart. It's available to your brother,
Speaker 1: it's available to you and me and anyone. It's available
Speaker 1: to to thieves and murders and liars and all kinds
Speaker 1: of sin there is. There is there is no pit
Speaker 1: of sin that you could crawl too deep that Jesus
Speaker 1: can't forgive you and save you from. That's the glory
Speaker 1: of the Gospel. That's why it's that's why it's amazing,
Speaker 1: that's why we talk about it all the time, because
Speaker 1: it's a it's a message of a messiah that came
Speaker 1: to this earth. God himself became flesh and came to
Speaker 1: this earth and took on the burden of all sinners
Speaker 1: and everything that they do and all in all their
Speaker 1: ways and all their fallen, brokenness, misguided ways. He took
Speaker 1: on all of that for those that believed in him,
Speaker 1: and then was killed for that conviction. After he lived
Speaker 1: a perfect life for our example, and then he was
Speaker 1: resurrected from the dead, proving himself to be the exact
Speaker 1: image of God that he said that he was in
Speaker 1: front of eyewitnesses. And that message is the gospel, and
Speaker 1: that message is all you could tell to your brother,
Speaker 1: and you got to tell it to your dad and
Speaker 1: your mother, and you got to tell it to yourself,
Speaker 1: and you've got to believe it. And that is the
Speaker 1: story of our salvation. Period. Yeah, man I love that, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what else to say. I mean, God,
Speaker 1: that's so good. Without so Colin, you know things about
Speaker 1: your brother we don't know. So I would just encourage
Speaker 1: you to continue that brotherhood. Yeah, continue pushing in, continue
Speaker 1: being open about your faith and about what you believe,
Speaker 1: and curious as to where he is and why he
Speaker 1: feels the way he feels, or why he believes what
Speaker 1: he believes, why his standards are what they are, what's
Speaker 1: the basis without judgment, without judgment, just remain curious. And
Speaker 1: I believe you guys are going to get to a
Speaker 1: place of understanding of each other. There's I think the
Speaker 1: last question is what can we do to or what
Speaker 1: it says we can't help, but let in let in
Speaker 1: the feeling that we should be doing something more, just
Speaker 1: doing something more for him, yeah, or it says or
Speaker 1: something different to help him. Yeah, And the answer is no,
Speaker 1: there's not besides that message of the gospel. I just said, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and pray for him, like genuinely intercede for him and
Speaker 1: for the rest of your family, because like Granger said,
Speaker 1: no one here is righteous, not even one. So you
Speaker 1: need to lump yourself into that prayer. Jesus, have mercy
Speaker 1: on me the sinner, and have mercy on my brother,
Speaker 1: and have mercy on my dad, and I have mercy
Speaker 1: on my mom. You are it. I notice how we're
Speaker 1: putting the whole family in this so that it's this
Speaker 1: is not condemning your brother because of because of who
Speaker 1: he is or what he's doing. That's not because you're
Speaker 1: all in this together as sinners. I think what we
Speaker 1: can tend to do is we can tend to like
Speaker 1: focus and isolate sin and then category or put it
Speaker 1: into different categories and hierarchies level. This one's worse than
Speaker 1: this one, and so now we know who to pray
Speaker 1: for more than somebody else. And I think what we're
Speaker 1: saying is is like, no, if this family can come
Speaker 1: together under that banner of repentance and under the banner
Speaker 1: of we are all desperate, I think there can really
Speaker 1: be some restoration and some healing and some understanding that
Speaker 1: is not there. I think there can be some exposure
Speaker 1: of some sin maybe in your parents and maybe in
Speaker 1: you that you were unaware of. Without knowing your brother
Speaker 1: and where his position is in his walk in his faith,
Speaker 1: if he's left the faith, because maybe he was condemned
Speaker 1: because he came out, which is not an uncommon story. Yep, right,
Speaker 1: but it's terrible. It's terrible. You need to put your
Speaker 1: arm back around and say you're still in this family.
Speaker 1: Come here, bro, Let's let's have these conver let's have
Speaker 1: these difficult conversations. Let's wade into this deep water together.
Speaker 1: I think there's gonna be a lot of healing there.
Speaker 1: What happens with him, what happens with you? I mean,
Speaker 1: only God knows. You can't convince him intellectually to believe
Speaker 1: the gospel. You can't convince him psychology, psychologically or or philosophically.
Speaker 1: You're not capable of doing that. And I'm not and
Speaker 1: nobody is the power of the gospel. It is what
Speaker 1: can do it alone. And lean into that and wrestle
Speaker 1: with your own sin, wrestle with the own your own
Speaker 1: problems that you're having, with your wondering eyes, with other girls,
Speaker 1: or whatever that might be, and and recognize that, and
Speaker 1: love him relentlessly because he's your brother, and don't judge him,
Speaker 1: and forgive him and and and do give him the
Speaker 1: grace that that has been given to you from Jesus.
Speaker 1: And know that I know that Jesus saves. The power
Speaker 1: of the Gospel is your message, and that's that's that
Speaker 1: is your that is your sword that you go into
Speaker 1: battle with. Is that message, and never let go of it.
Speaker 1: And uh and and the power of God. The Gospel
Speaker 1: will do what it's going to do. Hey man, brother,
Speaker 1: all right, can I can I just pat my own
Speaker 1: back real quick and say that I just before he
Speaker 1: has tackled that question on the podcast and I'm a
Speaker 1: country singer. Yeah, I'll pat you on the back. Wow, dude. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think he did well. Man, I'm not Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: see how many We'll see how many comments. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: I lost a lot of followers. I don't know, But guys,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sticking to a convict that I feel like
Speaker 1: is the most important message. That's way more important than
Speaker 1: my own popularity. Yeah. So you wanted to go to
Speaker 1: one of the generics, Yeah, one of the generics. I
Speaker 1: just said number two because you know there's two of us,
Speaker 1: and okay, I didn't want to give the first person though. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I literally count how many people gave a subject line
Speaker 1: a podcast question, and I'll go to number two. So
Speaker 1: there's one two here. We go, little boy, It's a
Speaker 1: long one. There we go. Don't know what this is?
Speaker 1: Says hey there. My name is Melissa. I live out
Speaker 1: in New Mexico, but I've lived just about everywhere on
Speaker 1: the East Coast, including South Carolina, Maine, Massachusetts, et cetera.
Speaker 1: I grew up in church ever since I could remember.
Speaker 1: Here we go again burns another church question, and I
Speaker 1: felt the Holy Spirit touch me on multiple occasions, and
Speaker 1: all throughout my life, I've had moments where I've I've
Speaker 1: doubted him and I've doubted his existence, and I've always
Speaker 1: just kept it inside of me, even though I know
Speaker 1: that he's real because I've experienced his presence. But every now,
Speaker 1: but every now and then, as the word gets more corrupt,
Speaker 1: and as the world gets more corrupt and out of control,
Speaker 1: I still have these doubts and I don't understand why.
Speaker 1: Why can't I just believe wholeheartedly? I know that the
Speaker 1: devil is always trying to draw you away from God?
Speaker 1: Is that what this is? I also just wanted to
Speaker 1: say thank you for everything that you do with your family.
Speaker 1: Congrats on the new little one. I followed you for
Speaker 1: a lot of years. Thank you very much. Melissa shout
Speaker 1: out to New Mexico. Okay, a couple directions with this question.
Speaker 1: It's a great question, it's it's a common question, and
Speaker 1: I want to I want to clear something up that
Speaker 1: you didn't directly say, Melissa, but I just want to
Speaker 1: kind of speak to it that that our our faith
Speaker 1: and our beliefs are not they cannot be whimsical. Blind
Speaker 1: faith can't. It's not supposed to be. It's not more.
Speaker 1: We're called no human is called to believe some crazy,
Speaker 1: weird myth that no one could testify or or clarify
Speaker 1: in any way. And so the only way that you
Speaker 1: could lean into this kind of faith is through the
Speaker 1: only thing. Okay, we have one of two things. We
Speaker 1: have two things that we could lean into with our faith.
Speaker 1: One is, and I've heard this said before, the Book
Speaker 1: of Nature. It's rarely talked about, but the Book of Nature,
Speaker 1: it's not a book, it's just it's it's the idea
Speaker 1: that when you walk out into this world that is
Speaker 1: in perfect sink, that is in perfect order, the the
Speaker 1: the have you heard, Bernie, the idea of the perfect
Speaker 1: universe scenario. Now, it's this idea that the way, the
Speaker 1: way that this Earth is and the way that it
Speaker 1: rotates in this solar system, around this sun, everything about it,
Speaker 1: everything is so perfect to the point zero zero zero
Speaker 1: zero zero zero one that it's like it's a crazy
Speaker 1: number of zeros before that one. It's perfectly aligned in
Speaker 1: every way for our existence on this planet. And it's
Speaker 1: not hard to see when you go to see an
Speaker 1: incredible sunset, or you see the ocean waves and the
Speaker 1: tide moving in and out, or you go to the
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon and take in the space and see the
Speaker 1: mountains and see a snowflake and the intricacies of the
Speaker 1: snowflake itself. You see that there is an order to this.
Speaker 1: There is a purpose that is way beyond the possibility
Speaker 1: of an accident. And when we look in the best
Speaker 1: telescopes that we have, and we look and look and
Speaker 1: look and deep into the stars, and we struggle so
Speaker 1: hard to find a planet similar to this one where
Speaker 1: we can go, oh, there's another one that's perfect. H
Speaker 1: It's really hard to do that. And here we are
Speaker 1: in the middle of this solar system, just floating around,
Speaker 1: and this something about it has an uncanny order that
Speaker 1: you have to go, Man, this this is go look
Speaker 1: at a butterfly. Go look at it, Go look at
Speaker 1: a little baby, and you go that this is evidence
Speaker 1: in nature right here. That's the way I called it
Speaker 1: the Book of Nature. There's evidence here that that that
Speaker 1: there's a creator, but we don't know who that creator is.
Speaker 1: Through just that, we just see that there is an
Speaker 1: order to things. There is a quote unquote higher power
Speaker 1: to all of this chaos. And the second thing we
Speaker 1: look to is the Bible, and that's the book, the
Speaker 1: Word of God that that puts us puts sense to
Speaker 1: that Book of Nature. It puts a it puts a
Speaker 1: an image behind it, it puts a story behind it,
Speaker 1: it puts it puts the boundary around it. So we go,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I see it in the sunset and the
Speaker 1: snowflake and the baby in the Grand Canyon. And then
Speaker 1: I read this book, and this book tells me why
Speaker 1: and who I am and my purpose here and where
Speaker 1: I'm going after this life. And it gives you all
Speaker 1: of those answers. And so through that word, and through
Speaker 1: meditating on that word and reading that word and listening
Speaker 1: to other people preach about that word, this gives us
Speaker 1: a solid foundation for our faith so that when we
Speaker 1: doubt we're not blind. We fall back on the foundation
Speaker 1: that is built for us. And this helps you feel
Speaker 1: like I'm not just believing in a weird myth mystical reason. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I think that's great, man, I Melissa, Yes, okay, I
Speaker 1: can relate to Melissa. I had a very short lived
Speaker 1: music career, and whenever I was writing songs, if you
Speaker 1: listen to any of those albums, a lot of those
Speaker 1: songs have to do with the lyrics are very similar,
Speaker 1: like man, just wrestling and questioning and doubting, like God,
Speaker 1: are you there? Like man, I don't feel you like
Speaker 1: I want to. You know, there's just all of this.
Speaker 1: Well I don't understand. When will I understand? There's a
Speaker 1: whole lot of that. So this resonates with me, Melissa.
Speaker 1: I remember specifically somebody telling me one time though, because
Speaker 1: I would have these doubts. I would like read something
Speaker 1: either in the Bible or I'd hear something, and I
Speaker 1: have these doubts, and then I would kind of chase
Speaker 1: this trail and just be like, well, I just don't
Speaker 1: understand this, and so therefore my entire faith would then
Speaker 1: be compromised. And this buddy of mine, Jacob van Horn
Speaker 1: good friend of mine said, did you know it's okay
Speaker 1: for you not to know? So good? He said, because
Speaker 1: Jesus knows. It was so simple. And it did take
Speaker 1: some time for that to really sink in of some
Speaker 1: of these parts of my faith and some of these
Speaker 1: parts of like the scripture I was reading, or things
Speaker 1: that were happening in the world that I just didn't understand.
Speaker 1: But it was like I had this this you know,
Speaker 1: eighty percent ninety percent understanding of things that, like you said,
Speaker 1: like the Spirit had moved, I had seen a move
Speaker 1: and my eyes had been opened. I believed this like
Speaker 1: I can't not believe it. But then this other little bit.
Speaker 1: It was almost like the Spirit just came and said, hey,
Speaker 1: don't worry about that. Let's just just one thing at
Speaker 1: a time. Just keep abiding in me, and I am
Speaker 1: going to reveal to you the things that I want
Speaker 1: you to know right now. Maybe there's some things that
Speaker 1: you just need to trust me about. You don't get
Speaker 1: to know everything. You just need to trust me that
Speaker 1: within this order, that thing that you're kind of that's
Speaker 1: causing you doubt in all of this, I got that,
Speaker 1: So don't worry about it, and I don't think that
Speaker 1: that means like you were saying that, oh well, just
Speaker 1: trust God blindly and there's no I think sometimes we
Speaker 1: can get very like overly analytical instead of just being
Speaker 1: present where God has us in our faith, what he
Speaker 1: has in front of us right now, and trust that
Speaker 1: these things He's going to reveal to us in time.
Speaker 1: But sometimes we just have to wait, We have to
Speaker 1: wait on the Lord to do it so good. I
Speaker 1: want to also validate what Bernie's saying to you, Melissa,
Speaker 1: that you're not alone and it's not strange that you
Speaker 1: think that. Of course I've thought that. Of course I've
Speaker 1: gone through seasons of my life. But you can't rely
Speaker 1: on a mystical spirit to lift you up all the
Speaker 1: time without verifying that through the word. And what I
Speaker 1: mean is there's a lot of there's a lot of
Speaker 1: mystical religions or even some of the Abrahamic religions that
Speaker 1: rely or can say you just rely only on the
Speaker 1: spirit to speak to you or a dream. And you
Speaker 1: could talk to a lot of people that go, why
Speaker 1: do you believe? And their answer is I believe because
Speaker 1: of self revelation. I believe because God speaks to me.
Speaker 1: That's why I believe, and that's the end of the story.
Speaker 1: And I'm here to say that's not enough, because anyone,
Speaker 1: anyone could say I had a dream last night that
Speaker 1: a wolf spoke to me in the woods and the
Speaker 1: wolf said that he is God and he was wearing
Speaker 1: a red gown and a purple hat, and his name
Speaker 1: was Stephen, and it was so real. So I think
Speaker 1: God is a wolf, and God speaks to me through
Speaker 1: Stephen the wolf. And you can't convince that person that
Speaker 1: they're wrong. You can't because they experienced it. It It was
Speaker 1: a revelation. Stephen the Wolf spoke. It was real, y'all.
Speaker 1: It was real. You can't. I'm using that example because
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that will say something like that.
Speaker 1: But unless you could take Stephen the Wolf and then
Speaker 1: open up the Bible and go where is Stephen the Wolf?
Speaker 1: And here's not in here? I think that was just
Speaker 1: the pizza last night, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: I don't mean to diminish your question, Melissa. I don't
Speaker 1: mean to laugh at it at all, but I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to say, as a whole, you can't just rely
Speaker 1: on personal revelation or personal blind faith. You can't it's
Speaker 1: got to be concrete. You got to look at you
Speaker 1: got to look at the word of God or feeling
Speaker 1: or just relying on how you feel. Can't rely on it.
Speaker 1: And in the moment there's too many, you know, psalms
Speaker 1: about just like these feelings of anguish and despair. It's
Speaker 1: like if they just relied on that, they probably would
Speaker 1: have walked away, you know. But you can't just rely
Speaker 1: on those feelings. It's good. I don't think I don't
Speaker 1: think I can go to another question after talking about
Speaker 1: Steven the wolf. Yeah in the red Sorry, maybe that
Speaker 1: was the pizza and somebody can somebody meme that? Please? Like,
Speaker 1: we love you guys. That's all the time we have,
Speaker 1: right you. Thank you. Then we'll see you next time. Ye.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
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Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Yi da