1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Whatever the answer is, and whatever you figure out, it's 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: not easy. It's going to be a huge mountain for 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: you to climb. And my heart goes out to you. 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you are You're going to have 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: to tackle maybe the greatest challenge of your life. Maybe 6 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: what's up? Guys? Welcome to the podcast is episode one 7 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: oh four. Got one of my favorite buddies, favorite guests. 8 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: Thanks for having me back, Bernie Calcot. Yep, we're here everyone. 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: Every time you're on the podcast, people say more Bernie, 10 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: and in fact they make the questions specific to Bernie. Yeah, 11 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: so many times. And that's what this podcast is. We 12 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: answer your questions. If you have anything, email Grangersmith podcast 13 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We'll put it in the queue. 14 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: We'll get to it, and it could be about any subject. 15 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: I feel the weight of your questions. I realized that 16 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: this podcast has become something where you want to bounce 17 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: an idea off of us, and we're going to talk 18 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: through it with no notes, no preparation, and we're gonna 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: speak to you as though we're just three friends hanging 20 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: out trying to give some advice in real time, walking 21 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: through it slowly in long form, which is why I 22 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 1: love podcast. Thank you for all the different platforms you're 23 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,320 Speaker 1: listening on, whether it's Spotify or Apple Music or YouTube 24 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: or whatever your favorite podcast style platform is. Thank you. 25 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: You guys have made this one of the top podcasts 26 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: in all the music genre and love you for that. 27 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: And we're so grateful for this platform. And Bernie, you've 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: been coming for probably over a year now as a guest. Yeah, 29 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: which is awesome. I thought for sure I was gonna 30 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: bomb this thing the first time I came. I was like, well, 31 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: Granger's not gonna do the podcast anymore. They're gonna cancel 32 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: it after I was on. But or you guys were 33 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: going to cancel me. But you've been so gracious and 34 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: like Grangers, just give me a bunch of feedback from 35 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: you know, meet and greets and whatnot. And so I'll 36 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: keep coming as long as you keep in bite me man, absolutely. 37 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: And can I say real quick, your brother Parker on 38 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 1: this podcast. He's late twenties, is that right? My goodness? 39 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: He is like his perspective, his responses, his wisdom. I 40 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: don't want to say for being that age, because for 41 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: any age, but to be in the late twenties and 42 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: have the perspective that he has is really awesome to 43 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: listen to. The shout out to Parker listening, buddy, We'll 44 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: get We'll get Parker back on here soon too. Guys, 45 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: if you have anything, like I said, I'm gonna repeat 46 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 1: it that. The email is Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. 47 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 1: I want to blind. I want to jump into this. 48 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: The seventh first one is about being blind, which is 49 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 1: an interesting I think it's the first time you've dealt 50 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: with something like this, but the subject line is the 51 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: first time. Yeah. The subject line says blind relationship slash 52 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: Bernie is my fave. Oh stop it. They love you, Bernie, 53 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,799 Speaker 1: they love you. The question is short and it says this. 54 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: My name is Alison. I'm twenty four years old. Back 55 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: in November twenty twenty, I became blind unexpectedly. My boyfriend 56 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: of five years says that going blind doesn't change how 57 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: he feels about me, But how do I curb the 58 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: nagging feeling that I'm going to hold him back from 59 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: doing things that two sided people would enjoy? Thank you? 60 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: I love the podcast. Definitely never heard that one before. Yeah, 61 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: so that's a new Yeah. So November twenty twenty now 62 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: so that means that I'm guessing three and a half 63 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: four years they had a relationship where she could see, 64 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: and then she became blind pretty recently. And it's an 65 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: understandable nagging feeling that she has. It's I want to 66 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: I want to validate her her feeling that if you 67 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: lose one of your five senses, you're going to feel 68 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: lesser of a of a partner in a relationship, absolutely, 69 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: and that you're going to hold that other person back 70 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 1: from experiencing their life to the fullest. Yeah. I think 71 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: you could probably could probably say the same thing about 72 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: if you lost your legs or you lost your hearing. 73 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: I think anytime you anytime you have something that drastically 74 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: changes the way you perceive the world, you're going to 75 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: feel vulnerable. How do we start with Alison. Yeah, so 76 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: it's a burden that she has to carry, but she's 77 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:54,920 Speaker 1: also now her husband is now carrying with her. So 78 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: seek wise counsel. I think comes to comes to mind 79 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: in terms of seeking other relationships that are similar. We're 80 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: either maybe someone's in a wheelchair and the other person's not, 81 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: and those kind of relationships that are strong and well 82 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 1: grounded would be a good resource for Allison. Absolutely. Yeah, 83 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,919 Speaker 1: there's probably a community of people that have already found 84 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: each other and could be a support system for her 85 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: and her husband that they just didn't know until they 86 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 1: kind of entered into this. Yeah. Yeah, I think that 87 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: you're going to learn a lot about this boyfriend. Oh, 88 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: it's a boyfriend. It's a boyfriend. Oh okay, for some reason, 89 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 1: I thought it was a husband. I said a husband 90 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: a couple times. Okay, that probably changes it a little bit. 91 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: That definitely changes it. That changes my answer, I think 92 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: a bit. But it doesn't seem like there's any resistance 93 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: from him. Hey, props to the dude he's telling her. 94 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: It does not change the way he feels. And it's 95 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: been it's been well over a year, it's been almost 96 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:06,600 Speaker 1: two years, supposed to this guy. Well, if he is 97 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 1: listening to this podcast, and bro, you love this girl 98 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: enough to stay with her even after she's became blind, 99 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: you need to marry her already, right, Yeah. Absolutely, But 100 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: let's look at the benefits for this dude. He doesn't 101 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: have to comb his hair anymore, that's right. He doesn't 102 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,600 Speaker 1: have to worry about what he wears as much anymore. 103 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:30,919 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's kind of nice. Yeah. I mean, yeah, 104 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about how you know, my clothes are 105 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: kind of laid out. It's like okay, yeah, I'm I 106 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: aware of that. Okay, God, no, go back in and 107 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: change like okay. Help that happens a lot. Help me 108 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: out someone that has an impairment like this. Help me 109 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: out with this, because I've heard. It's my understanding that 110 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: when you lose since like sight, that other senses are enhanced. 111 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: Have you heard that? Yeah, yeah, I've heard that that 112 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: you you're the human body starts to compensate, and so 113 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: you get better hearing, or maybe your smell gets better, 114 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: or maybe your sense of touch obviously would get better 115 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: because you're going to start feeling more throughout your surroundings, 116 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: and so you are your body's going to compensate. I'm 117 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: speaking a little bit out of terms here because I 118 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: can't relate to this, but I can relate to you 119 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: being vulnerable in the situation, and I want to commend 120 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 1: you on emailing us and feeling this vulnerability, and I 121 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: would I would encourage you to kind of lean into 122 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: that vulnerability with your boyfriend so that he knows that 123 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:40,239 Speaker 1: you're not just blindly confident about you're the same person, 124 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: because you're not the same person anymore, and that's not 125 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: a bad thing, but you are different. And I think 126 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: we all go through seasons or times chapters in our 127 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: life where things change, Like I have impairment that have 128 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: happened to me. You do, everyone does. Where something happens 129 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: in your life and from that that moment on your 130 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: a different You're a different version of yourself, and that's 131 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: what's happened to you. I would I would, I would 132 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: lean into that vulnerability, and aside from your relationship with 133 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:19,679 Speaker 1: your boyfriend, I would really lean into God's word because 134 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: in the Gospels, the four Gospels that we have of 135 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: Jesus's life on Earth, blindness comes up a lot. Jesus 136 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: talks about blindness a lot, and it's never in a 137 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: negative light. Ever, sometimes it's in a positive light, like 138 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to open your eyes to the Kingdom of 139 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: Heaven in a new way that you could never see 140 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: with your earthly eyes. My eyes are going to go 141 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: out one day, yours are two. I might die at 142 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 1: the same moment or not, but regardless, all of our 143 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: eyes are going to go out at some point. You 144 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 1: might Allison have been given a gift with this blindness 145 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: that is probably hard to recognize right now, but this 146 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: might be a gift that you're going to be able 147 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: to lean into how you perceive the world in a 148 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: completely different way, and that could benefit somebody. So I 149 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: want you to recognize that you are an asset to 150 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: this boyfriend, or if you don't stay with this guy, 151 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: you're an asset to someone else in the future. You 152 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 1: are bringing a lot to the table as a person, Alison, 153 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: and I want you to recognize that, yeah, and also 154 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: recognize that I'm not sure. I feel like we've said before, 155 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: like a lot of these podcast questions can kind of 156 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:46,559 Speaker 1: like be answered with like this handful of different responses. 157 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: I feel like this one has a couple of a 158 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: couple of them in there, But one of them that 159 00:09:54,200 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: we haven't mentioned is community for her, specifically for her. 160 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 1: Can you imagine the counseling and the support and the 161 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,439 Speaker 1: you know, community that you would need if one day 162 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: you could see and then another day you couldn't. Just 163 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: apart from the day to day help me, you know, 164 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 1: get accustomed to this, just having someone to talk to, 165 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: whether it's a community of friends or an actual counselor 166 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: Because I feel like that is a very traumatic event. 167 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 1: And so I think, you know, just practically, you know, 168 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: seek out some counsel and community to like help you 169 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: process I used to see and now I don't. What 170 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: does that mean for my life? What does that mean 171 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,359 Speaker 1: for my identity? What does that mean for my relationship? 172 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: And just process that with other people. I mean the 173 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: same way that you are in some way with us, 174 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: and that we're encouraging everybody to do, like find your tribe, 175 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: find your community, and wrestle through these things with each other, 176 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: support each other through them. So I think that's something 177 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: practical that she can do. Absolutely that's the best advice 178 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: I know to be able to give you, Alison. I 179 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: want to finish with this last thought for you. There 180 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 1: might be a feeling with this boyfriend at any moment, 181 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: if he starts to turn and not be the guy 182 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 1: that you need or deserve, there might be a feeling 183 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: in you that wants to hold on to him because 184 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: he's the last relationship that you'll have that you will 185 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: know what they look like. Like. So strange thought, but 186 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: possible that you could this guy could become a jerk. 187 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: And you justify that by saying, well, I got to 188 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: stay with him, because if I move on, I won't 189 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: know what the next guy even looks like, and that's 190 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,319 Speaker 1: a big disadvantage. So I want to rebuke that and 191 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: just say, let's go with character and integrity and these 192 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 1: core values honesty that you could get from a boyfriend 193 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 1: or relationship that has nothing to do with what they 194 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: look like, and lean into that comfort that no matter 195 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: what happens you, you're gonna be Okay, You're gonna this 196 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: is gonna be, this is gonna be really good for you. 197 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: Thank you for emailing. This is a it's a serious question, 198 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: and thank you for opening up for for us on 199 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 1: this podcast with this and sharing it. Oh this is interesting, 200 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 1: no particular order. The next one that just popped up says, 201 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: help angry husband. Let's do it first, first parentheses. Have 202 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 1: you ever been an angry husband? Man? I mean a 203 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: different direction, but I'm gonna I'm not going to claim 204 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: that I'm perfect in anyway. The first thing that says 205 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: is anonymous, Please, okay, you got my back one. I'm 206 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: not going to mess this up. You've gotten better, man, 207 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: You've gotten a lot better call him anonymous, refer to 208 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: him as anonymous. Okay, it says, did they sign their 209 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: name at the bottom of there's no name at the bottom, 210 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure that she doesn't say her name anytime, 211 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 1: and they've learned. Hey, Granger, I listened to all your 212 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: podcasts and almost always agree with your advice. I think 213 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: that's a compliment. You could say it this way, I 214 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: almost always agree with your advice, instead of I almost 215 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: always agree with your advice. I'll say it the former way. 216 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: So here's the problem. My husband and I have been 217 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 1: married for seven years. He was my first boyfriend, my 218 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: first everything. I love him. I can't imagine my life 219 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: without him. But dot dot dot he has problems with 220 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 1: anger and bad language. I've often tried to talk to 221 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 1: him about these issues, but he either brushes it off 222 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 1: or gets angry at me for bringing it up. Sometimes 223 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: he'll admit that he has a problem and vows to change, 224 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: but the next day it's forgotten he goes back to 225 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: his bad habits. He professes to be a Christian parentheses 226 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: when he's not angry, faithfully attends church and reads the Bible. 227 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 1: But then he'll get upset over this all his things 228 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 1: and cuss and yell at me. I'm just so tired 229 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: of this behavior, and I'm starting to regret marrying him 230 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 1: when I think of what I'll probably have to go 231 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:14,439 Speaker 1: through over the next, say, forty to fifty years. God 232 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: has blessed us with ex excuse me, God has not 233 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: blessed us with a family. And I feel somewhat guilty 234 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: for saying this, but a part of me is glad 235 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: that we won't have kids that will be subjected to this. 236 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: He often apologizes to me, but I'm having a hard 237 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: time believing him when he says he's sorry. I know 238 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: I can't change him, and only Jesus in his heart 239 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: can do that. But do you have any advice on 240 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: how I could react or how to cope with this? 241 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: This is one of these issues where without her with us, 242 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 1: we don't know the extent of this anger. We don't 243 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: know the extent of when she says he yells and 244 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: cusses at me like that's abuse, And so I want 245 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: to preface before we say anything that I don't know. 246 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: I don't know the extent of what you mean by 247 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: yelling and cussing at you, like, is it just an 248 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: angry man with a good heart and he falls off 249 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: the handle and he needs some kind of anger management 250 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: or is this guy abusing you verbally in a way 251 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: that is damaging to your soul? Right, So I want 252 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 1: to say that I don't know, Guys, I don't know. 253 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 1: Maybe you can address like the lowest form of that 254 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: and then the greatest form of that. I'm guessing it's 255 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: probably somewhere in between. But maybe so she can you know, 256 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: she's not here with us, but you can say like, Okay, hey, 257 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 1: if it's kind of here, maybe this would be the advice. 258 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 1: But if it's here, this would be the advice. Yeah. 259 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 1: I got a feeling that a lot of people listening 260 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: are dealing with something like this fallen, broken world, and 261 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: there's a lot of anger. There's a lot of anxiety 262 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: right now. There always has been, but we could speak 263 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: to it right now with the state of the world, 264 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: the everything that's happening in the world around us creates 265 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: anger and that gets misguided and sometimes redirects to the 266 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: spouse because that's the person that's there and takes the brunt, 267 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: that takes the heat. And it's a terrible, terrible thing. 268 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: But I'm trying to explain why I understand how this 269 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: could happen and how a lot of people are probably 270 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 1: in this kind of situation. We should probably address. There's 271 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: a little bit multi layered. We should probably address that 272 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: he professes to be a Christian parentheses when he's not angry. 273 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: I don't really understand that. Yeah, as you were reading it, 274 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: I almost didn't want to get into addressing him because 275 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: I would just kind of fair enough. I would just 276 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: kind of get I would go off on a tangent 277 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: because we don't know enough. We don't know enough, and 278 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 1: I would be making accusations and assumptions that based on 279 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: his behavior, would bring me to some conclusions that are 280 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: just really hard to make. But the it doesn't sound 281 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 1: like the fruits of the spirit are evident in his life. 282 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, she said that he does come back 283 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: and say sorry, But maybe we can get to that 284 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 1: in addressing her. But so her question is how can 285 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:42,639 Speaker 1: I react or cope with this? And I hope you know, Anonymous, 286 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: this is not Whatever the answer is, and whatever you 287 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: figure out, it's not easy. It's going to be a 288 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: huge mountain for you to climb. And my heart goes 289 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 1: out to you. I'm so sorry that you are. You're 290 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 1: going to have to tackle maybe the greatest challenge of 291 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: your life. Maybe if you're out there and you've been 292 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,120 Speaker 1: in an abusive relationship of some way, maybe comment your 293 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,479 Speaker 1: experience with this person. Maybe there's some like experienceial wisdom 294 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,679 Speaker 1: out there amongst the nation that Anonymous. I hope you 295 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 1: read all the comments, and maybe you can not just 296 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 1: from me and Griz, but you can get some inspiration 297 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,160 Speaker 1: or some guidance from everybody else too, who's actually been 298 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: in the thick of it. Seven years married, first boyfriend, 299 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: so it means a lot of years before that first everything. 300 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 1: Love him, can't imagine life without him. That's great. That's 301 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:42,919 Speaker 1: a good setup for coping. That's a good setup for 302 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: it's a good reason for you to do what the 303 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 1: Bible says and honor him. That the Bible says to 304 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 1: honor your wives, husbands, honor your wives. And so we 305 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: can't speak to him, but I could speak to you, Anonymous, 306 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:03,479 Speaker 1: and just say honoring him back might not change his anger, 307 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: but will it will put your soul at rest in 308 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:11,440 Speaker 1: a lot of other ways if you are if you're 309 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: engaging in his anger, anger can become almost like like 310 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: an addiction. When someone is under the influence of a 311 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: substance when they become under the influence of their anger, 312 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 1: it's almost like they're a different person. And so to 313 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: engage with that different person, the person that's under the influence, 314 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: you're never going to win. You're never going to come 315 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: out and say the right things unless you confidently not 316 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 1: not a not a way that you could get hurt 317 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: in any way. But if you could confidently honor him 318 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 1: instead of engaging with this, this this animal side of him, No, 319 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:04,199 Speaker 1: I think that's good. I think too, like communication, you know, 320 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 1: if we're talking about the different silos that these things 321 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 1: can fall in, Like maybe when he's not when you 322 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 1: guys are just on a date night, or you feel 323 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,439 Speaker 1: like this is a really good moment that we're having, 324 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 1: maybe just ask him about work and about maybe his friends, 325 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 1: and like try to find out. I guarantee you this 326 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 1: anger is coming out of pressure and anxiety and stress. 327 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 1: So if maybe you can start to like understand what 328 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: is stressing him, what is making him impatient. Maybe you're 329 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,639 Speaker 1: doing something that's part of it, maybe like without knowing, 330 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 1: and you can you know, recognize, or maybe it has 331 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: nothing to do with that, Maybe it's something at work, 332 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,919 Speaker 1: but you understanding and telling him, hey, babe, you know, 333 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: why don't you not worry about that promotion? Like I don't. 334 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,119 Speaker 1: We can we can keep the stuff we have, we 335 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: can actually move, We don't need money to be happy. 336 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 1: Take the pressure that I know men can feel sometimes 337 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:16,199 Speaker 1: about providing and reputation and all this. Maybe you just 338 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 1: help alleviate that. I know that my wife has done 339 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:24,160 Speaker 1: such a good job of recognizing when things at work 340 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,680 Speaker 1: or different areas of life are kind of like there's 341 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:32,439 Speaker 1: pressure of just helping to re not to like contribute 342 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: to that, but to help relieve some of that, and say, hey, hey, 343 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,719 Speaker 1: let me let me take care of the kids. Why 344 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 1: don't you go on a bike ride, or why don't you, 345 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,640 Speaker 1: you know, go do something, because yeah, I could definitely 346 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: sense you need some space and and man, just I 347 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: don't even need the bike ride. I don't even need 348 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:55,919 Speaker 1: to get away. Just her recognizing, yes, I don't know 349 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: why I'm so overloaded, and her telling me, hey, why 350 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,119 Speaker 1: don't you take some of those things off your plate. 351 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to be happy with you no matter what. 352 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: Maybe that helps his overall level of patience and everything 353 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: grow because he's not he's not stretched past his margin 354 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 1: in life. He has some margins, so it's like something 355 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: happens and he's not flipping, you know, flying off the 356 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 1: handle right away. Yeah. Right, I think you're so right, man. 357 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: I love that. I love that answer. And there's there's 358 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,359 Speaker 1: the right way to say that, Bernie, And there's probably 359 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,119 Speaker 1: a wrong way to say that. The right way would 360 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: to be like you said and just go I love 361 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 1: you and I want to be able to contribute to 362 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: some of this stuff that you're you're going with, you're 363 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,399 Speaker 1: going through. How could I help? How could I be 364 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: a better wife to you? Instead of the wrong way 365 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: would be you're angry all the time. Yeah, what's the 366 00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: matter with you? What is the matter? Something at work? 367 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: Is there? Something I'm doing? Is there? What's going is 368 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,439 Speaker 1: that your your dad's bothering him? Just we should just 369 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: tell me because you're just anger all the time and 370 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: I can't handle his anger. And here's what you never say. 371 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: And I'll be honest with you. I don't know if 372 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,200 Speaker 1: I could do this for thirty or forty fifty more 373 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: years with you. I just don't know if I could 374 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: do that. And this is not the man that I'm married. Ooh, 375 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: that's a good one. Doun't say that don't say that 376 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: you're just like throwing gasoline on the fire. There's ways 377 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: that you could do this in ways that you can't. 378 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 1: And just as Bernie spoke about Leslie's wife, there's there's 379 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,360 Speaker 1: things that Amber does for me that and she could. 380 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: You've known this guy for over seven years. You could 381 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,639 Speaker 1: read him. Humans are great at reading each other. So 382 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,120 Speaker 1: Amber will read me. And I don't know if she's 383 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 1: actively doing this or not. Maybe she'll tell me after 384 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,240 Speaker 1: she hears this podcast, but she'll she'll read that something's 385 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 1: going on on the road, or that we've been we've 386 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: been going through a tough run of maybe it's county fairs, 387 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 1: and there's bickering in the crew that we've been through 388 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: some production guys that have yelled at my crew, and 389 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 1: I'm putting out those fires and I haven't gotten much 390 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 1: sleep because I got in an early flight. And when 391 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,880 Speaker 1: I come home, Amber will say something like this, she'll say, 392 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: thank you so much for working so hard for this family, 393 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,920 Speaker 1: providing for us. And she'll say that in front of 394 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: the kids, and she'll she'll say out loud to the kids, guys, 395 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 1: aren't you so lucky that your dad works so hard 396 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: to provide for us and to bring to put food 397 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: on the table, and that just like it takes all 398 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,560 Speaker 1: this this anxiety that I've had at work or with 399 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: friends or whatever's going on, it takes it away and 400 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 1: reminds me that, oh, yeah, this is what's worth it. This, 401 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: this family, this, this tight knit group is what's worth it. 402 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,640 Speaker 1: And I wonder, Anonymous, if you started being that kind 403 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,399 Speaker 1: of wife, not saying you're not now and I have 404 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: to That's why I preface with this verbal abuse thing 405 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,120 Speaker 1: at the beginning, because I don't know the extent of it, 406 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: but maybe if that's who you leaned into, that kind 407 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: of wife there was always supportive and always honoring and 408 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 1: always honest and left the communication open where you became 409 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: the person that he could trust with the worst things 410 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,680 Speaker 1: in his life, then I wonder if this starts to 411 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 1: get distinguished, I mean extinguished a little bit through this anger. Yeah, no, 412 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: that's great. On the far side of that, I think. 413 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 1: And you may have hit on this already, like you probably. 414 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: If there is verbal, physical, continuous abuse, you need to 415 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,160 Speaker 1: get some help, like separate yourself from it. No one 416 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: needs to be subjected to that. There needs to be 417 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:48,440 Speaker 1: intervention with that if I pray that that's not it. 418 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: But if it is, we got no help for you here, 419 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 1: Like you're gonna need to get some serious help and intervention. 420 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 1: But I think everything Greg you're saying is right on on. 421 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,959 Speaker 1: I do want to play Devil's advocate for a second. 422 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: That Anonymous may be part of the problem. We don't know. 423 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,679 Speaker 1: We don't know, right, So let's just say, Anonymous, you 424 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: probably need to take an inventory of what you're posture 425 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: and what you're contributing to the relationship. Are you demanding 426 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: of your husband things that he can't fulfill. You're saying, 427 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 1: I want you here all the time, but I also 428 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: want you to work and buy me this stuff. Are 429 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 1: you is he caught an attention that you're perpetuating that 430 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 1: you're creating. Are you part of the problem. You have 431 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:48,359 Speaker 1: to ask yourself that question. We don't know, and we 432 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,120 Speaker 1: don't you know. I hope I'm not offending you by 433 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,879 Speaker 1: asking that, but you got to ask yourself that, like 434 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,360 Speaker 1: what am I contributing? Is this really? Because a lot 435 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: of times it's so easy to see what the other 436 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: person is to It's like, dude, he's doing this, he's angry, 437 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: he's this but meanwhile you're forgetting that you're being very controlling, manipulative, 438 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,679 Speaker 1: and it's like, hey, I guarantee you. You You start to, 439 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: like Granger said, you start to dig into word and 440 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,199 Speaker 1: look for some guidance there about how you need to 441 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: enter into that relationship with your husband, and maybe all 442 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: of a sudden his attitude starts changing. Like wow, man, 443 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. I think the last thing I 444 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: could contribute to this is that counseling is a necessity 445 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:40,439 Speaker 1: to you, guys, regardless of this anger. It's just a 446 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 1: marriage is a living, breathing, operating machine, and any machine 447 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: that we know in life needs to oil change, needs 448 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 1: to make change. You need to open the hood. You 449 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: need to check make sure everything's working properly. And that's 450 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 1: going to require a professional mechanic. Yeah, that's gonna get 451 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,879 Speaker 1: that's gonna help you, guys. And that says nothing really 452 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: nothing to do with his anger. This is this is 453 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 1: a seven year relationship thing. Anyway that you you should 454 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 1: seek wise counsel and marriage counseling, but don't at all costs, 455 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: don't approach him with that idea saying you're angry, we 456 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:24,760 Speaker 1: need to go to counseling. Yeah, you can't say it 457 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 1: that way because he's gonna say absolutely not the last 458 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 1: thing that he's going to want to do. Yeah, you 459 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: guys are a team. You got to see it that way. 460 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: And I'll recommend a book for you guys by Aaron 461 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: and Jamie Ivy called Complimentary and it's a husband wife 462 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: that wrote it together, same topics, but like he wrote 463 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: it by himself, she wrote it by herself and then 464 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: they put it together. So you can see it may 465 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 1: be something that something simple like hey, babe, let's read this. 466 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 1: I know Leslie and I read through it and it 467 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 1: kind of facilitated some conversations that we knew there were 468 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: some pressure points and it's like, oh, that's that's why 469 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: you see this this way. Oh that's why you see 470 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: this this way. So find anything like that that can 471 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: help be a common ground. That's like a reminder, Hey, 472 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 1: we're a team here, we're on the same team. We're 473 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: not against each other. Love to work, do it. So 474 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: there's two solid options, marriage counseling one on one, or 475 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: a book that you could read together. I'll give you 476 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: one more option and you could do one to the 477 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,560 Speaker 1: three or all three. But a conference setting. There's always 478 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 1: a couple conferences that could be we would recommend at 479 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 1: your local church, but there's all kinds of conferences that 480 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: you can go as a couple, and you're not the 481 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 1: only ones. They're not singling you out, you're a You're 482 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: in a group of other couples that are every guy, 483 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 1: he man, anonymous. Everyone has problems of some sort in 484 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: their marriage that need maintenance, and sometimes it's easier for 485 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 1: the husband to sit in a crowd where there's a 486 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: lot of other husbands and a lot of other wives 487 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,480 Speaker 1: that are dealing with a similar issue, and it could 488 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,920 Speaker 1: be a weak in type conference that you go to 489 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: and you could just really cultivate your marriage in that way. 490 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: So there's three good options. And yeah, thank you, thank 491 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 1: you for the question, and we really hope the best 492 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,480 Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, good stuff. We're gonna take a break 493 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: and be right back, guys. 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That's buy Raycon dot 564 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: com slash granger say fifteen percent off Raycons buy raycon 565 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: dot com slash granger. Back to the podcast. Okay, we're 566 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,799 Speaker 1: gonna get back into these questions, and I have a 567 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 1: lot and there's some really great stuff in here. There's 568 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: some heavy stuff, there's some some stuff that you know, 569 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,200 Speaker 1: it's they're difficult, and I want to kind of kick 570 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: it over to you Burns, okay, and you're gonna you're 571 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 1: gonna help me pick it. Unfortunately, out of this group, 572 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: there's several that just say question for the podcast. Okay, 573 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,399 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna read several off to you. The first 574 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,080 Speaker 1: one is podcast question, and we have leaving someone you love, 575 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:08,760 Speaker 1: wedding speaks, question homosexuality, help with my relationship, need advice 576 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: in life, family issues, a couple more questions for the podcast, 577 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:19,920 Speaker 1: and then I've just got married and I need help. Okay, 578 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:26,160 Speaker 1: let's go I just got married. I need help homosexuality. Yep, 579 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: we're gonna go there. And the last one, if we 580 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:34,880 Speaker 1: can get to it, will be the second podcast question. Okay, 581 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 1: and gotcha. So let me click on that just got 582 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,280 Speaker 1: married and need help, which is interesting. That's an interesting 583 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 1: subject that they would need help just after marriage, it says, 584 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,040 Speaker 1: Hey Granger. I love the podcast. I try to listen 585 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,120 Speaker 1: every time I can. My name is Andrew. Me and 586 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,240 Speaker 1: my wife have been married for three months. I'm currently 587 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 1: on staff full time at a church doing maintenance. I 588 00:35:55,040 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 1: also preach outside of my home pretty often. However, is 589 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 1: a huge issue. I make the bare minimum of what 590 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 1: I could make, and that is frustrating every two weeks 591 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,319 Speaker 1: when payroll comes out. Should I step down from the 592 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,919 Speaker 1: role in the church and pursue a secular job. I'm 593 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,560 Speaker 1: not afraid to work a public job. I do not 594 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,520 Speaker 1: believe I would be outside of the Lord's perfect will 595 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,359 Speaker 1: if I did. Christ is sovereign in all things, and 596 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,319 Speaker 1: he does that he does, and right now I'm in 597 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: a season I have to trust Christ more than ever. 598 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 1: I'm a Calvinist by the way I understand God's hand 599 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,920 Speaker 1: and is working in all of our lives. I just 600 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,720 Speaker 1: feel like I could do more for my little family. 601 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,760 Speaker 1: I have some different job opportunities that I could pursue, 602 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 1: but if I left, I would want to leave peacefully 603 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,320 Speaker 1: and respectful. I could really use some help in the situation. 604 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 1: Thanks and God bless It's too easy. He gave himself 605 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 1: the answer. Yes, you need to leave, he said. He said, 606 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:54,799 Speaker 1: I feel like I have more that I can do 607 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,319 Speaker 1: Toro five for my family, then go do it. I 608 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: totally agree. Burn. You know, like I understand it scary 609 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 1: and if you need me and Griz to be like, dude, 610 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 1: you can do it. What's his name? He says his name? 611 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: He doesn't but his name, I got Andrew, Andrew Andrew. Okay, 612 00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 1: you got our support, man, go for it. It's it's 613 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,800 Speaker 1: out there. Hopefully you have the support of your wife 614 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: to do the same. But it sounds like you know 615 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 1: what you need to do. It's just taking that last 616 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 1: step to say, Okay, I'm going to do it, and 617 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 1: I say go for it. Totally wholeheartedly agree with Bernie. 618 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,320 Speaker 1: I think Bernie's right. I think you kind of answered 619 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,680 Speaker 1: your question through the wording of your question. This is 620 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 1: on your heart. You just kind of needed a push, 621 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 1: and so both of our both of us are going 622 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,759 Speaker 1: to say, man, you got opportunities, and you feel the 623 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:48,399 Speaker 1: Lord's work in your life, and you feel like you 624 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,720 Speaker 1: you have a because guy's ministry is not just standing 625 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 1: on a pulpit, right, Ministry is in the nuts and 626 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 1: bolts of life itself. And you seem like Andrew, you're 627 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,879 Speaker 1: a person that understands that you're willing to take that 628 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,440 Speaker 1: and take that that gospel in you and take it 629 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 1: into the secular world, into a job and to make 630 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,920 Speaker 1: enough to support your little family. I think is admirable 631 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,319 Speaker 1: and totally respectable, and I think you should go for it. 632 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:20,360 Speaker 1: And can we just speak to a generation real quick, like, guys, 633 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,919 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause for a second just so I don't 634 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 1: go off, But can we stop being so passive? Can 635 00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,920 Speaker 1: we be bold? Can we take chances? Can we fail 636 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,759 Speaker 1: and it be okay? Can we not make the right 637 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 1: decision every time? But just feel like, man, I've talked 638 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 1: to my community, I've been in the word. I'm gonna 639 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 1: make this decision and I'm going for it instead of 640 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 1: just like fiddling around with it for ten years and 641 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,360 Speaker 1: then you're still in the same place you were a 642 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:50,560 Speaker 1: decade later. Make the decision. Just go for it. Yeah, 643 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,799 Speaker 1: and Andrew, that's not a knock on you at all. 644 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 1: It's not to him. This is to like, I feel 645 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 1: like a generation that's coming up that and maybe we're 646 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 1: part of that that. I feel like we can just 647 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 1: overthink things to the point where we just do nothing. 648 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,680 Speaker 1: And that's exactly what the enemy wants us to do. 649 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,280 Speaker 1: Just do nothing, don't make a move. And specifically to Andrew, 650 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,120 Speaker 1: you say that you do get opportunities to preach outside 651 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,759 Speaker 1: of your own church. That's not going away. That's right. 652 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: You still do that. You still do that. So and 653 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: if you take this leap and you say, man, I'm 654 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:29,279 Speaker 1: going for this God, you are my provider. I'm taking 655 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,360 Speaker 1: a step of faith. I guarantee you what the experience 656 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,680 Speaker 1: that you're going to have through that is going to 657 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:40,759 Speaker 1: like refine your preaching and give you more faith to 658 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 1: draw on and experiences to draw on through His word. 659 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,879 Speaker 1: It's all you feel like you got a jump jump man? 660 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,279 Speaker 1: Do it? You know that, Bernie and I believe that 661 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,920 Speaker 1: God directs your path and that you can know His 662 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,160 Speaker 1: will for your life because he is dictating your desires 663 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,160 Speaker 1: and he's dictating your want to. Yeah, that's good. So 664 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:05,759 Speaker 1: when you feel this desire, you've got to believe if 665 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,799 Speaker 1: you're if you're faithful, and you're a fearful man of God, 666 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: that you you are in the Word, and you've got 667 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,400 Speaker 1: to believe that he has put this desire upon you 668 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 1: and it's time to act. Do it? Love it man? Okay, 669 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:22,920 Speaker 1: where are you gonna go now? Almostsexuality? Okay, Granger, hope 670 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,479 Speaker 1: all as well. My parents did a really good job 671 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 1: of raising my brother and I around church and showing 672 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,279 Speaker 1: us what it means to love Jesus. However, a few 673 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,839 Speaker 1: years ago, my younger brother came out as gay. We 674 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 1: made it clear to him that we will always love 675 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 1: him and love him just the same, but we will 676 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,000 Speaker 1: not support his lifestyle. All we can do now is 677 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 1: pray for him as much as we can. However, we 678 00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,240 Speaker 1: can't help but letting the feeling in that we should 679 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:51,200 Speaker 1: be doing something more, doing something different to help him. 680 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:56,240 Speaker 1: Would love your advice and or your thoughts. Thanks, Colin 681 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,399 Speaker 1: doesn't say we're Collin's from. Thank you for asking man. 682 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 1: This is a bold question, and it's it takes it 683 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:11,480 Speaker 1: takes some guts to send this to us, and yeah, 684 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 1: tough to navigate. Yeah, tough to navigate your situation. Tough 685 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:21,760 Speaker 1: for us to navigate this, this topic or this question 686 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 1: in answering you first, because we don't get to sit 687 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,400 Speaker 1: with you or your family and discuss this. And two, 688 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,440 Speaker 1: this world loves to live in sound bites and so 689 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,480 Speaker 1: and take things out of context. So it's like trying 690 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,719 Speaker 1: to think like whole thoughts and and and guidance and 691 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,839 Speaker 1: direction in this kind of format is really difficult when 692 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,279 Speaker 1: it comes to tough topics or controversial topics. I guess 693 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:55,520 Speaker 1: you could say, but we'll do our best. Yeah, the world, 694 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:59,040 Speaker 1: the world screams at this topic right now. It screams 695 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 1: at this topic. And the first thing we got to 696 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,799 Speaker 1: go to. The first thing we have to say is 697 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:13,280 Speaker 1: that callin. You're a sinner. I'm a sinner, Bernie's a sinner. 698 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: This is not this is not you being better than 699 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:21,759 Speaker 1: your brother. I'm not better than your brother. I have 700 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:28,800 Speaker 1: I have sexual sin in my life. That is, that 701 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,280 Speaker 1: does not make me lesser or better than your brother 702 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,520 Speaker 1: in any way, in fact, makes me an equal human 703 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:42,719 Speaker 1: in a fallen world. So that has to be, that 704 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,640 Speaker 1: has to just penetrate your family. And if there's anybody 705 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,040 Speaker 1: in your family, I don't think this is you calling, 706 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,960 Speaker 1: and it might not be anybody in your family, but 707 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,719 Speaker 1: I'm just going to say it. If there's anybody that 708 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,400 Speaker 1: thinks that they are more righteous than your brother because 709 00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:01,440 Speaker 1: he's gay, shame on them. You're not gonna You're not 710 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,880 Speaker 1: gonna win any battles. You're not going to prove anything 711 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:10,399 Speaker 1: by you or anyone in your family. Uh, being more 712 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:16,319 Speaker 1: righteous or more more moral, or by any means. You're 713 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,840 Speaker 1: just not man. You're not You're not better your dad 714 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,640 Speaker 1: because because your dad is going to reject your your 715 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:27,399 Speaker 1: brother's homosexuality, your dad's not any better. The only thing 716 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,799 Speaker 1: you could do is just fall back on the word 717 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:34,280 Speaker 1: of God. Live by the word of God. He speak 718 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: the Gospel, Speak the name of Jesus, Speak the message. 719 00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 1: Speak the message of forgiveness and repentance. Speak the message 720 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:46,680 Speaker 1: of salvation, and how it's available to anyone with faith 721 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:49,919 Speaker 1: when repentance in their heart. It's available to your brother, 722 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,759 Speaker 1: it's available to you and me and anyone. It's available 723 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,200 Speaker 1: to to thieves and murders and liars and all kinds 724 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: of sin there is. There is there is no pit 725 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 1: of sin that you could crawl too deep that Jesus 726 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:05,160 Speaker 1: can't forgive you and save you from. That's the glory 727 00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 1: of the Gospel. That's why it's that's why it's amazing, 728 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,160 Speaker 1: that's why we talk about it all the time, because 729 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,080 Speaker 1: it's a it's a message of a messiah that came 730 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,600 Speaker 1: to this earth. God himself became flesh and came to 731 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 1: this earth and took on the burden of all sinners 732 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,560 Speaker 1: and everything that they do and all in all their 733 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 1: ways and all their fallen, brokenness, misguided ways. He took 734 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,200 Speaker 1: on all of that for those that believed in him, 735 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:35,080 Speaker 1: and then was killed for that conviction. After he lived 736 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,440 Speaker 1: a perfect life for our example, and then he was 737 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:41,520 Speaker 1: resurrected from the dead, proving himself to be the exact 738 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,920 Speaker 1: image of God that he said that he was in 739 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,400 Speaker 1: front of eyewitnesses. And that message is the gospel, and 740 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,960 Speaker 1: that message is all you could tell to your brother, 741 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:51,880 Speaker 1: and you got to tell it to your dad and 742 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,840 Speaker 1: your mother, and you got to tell it to yourself, 743 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,719 Speaker 1: and you've got to believe it. And that is the 744 00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:03,880 Speaker 1: story of our salvation. Period. Yeah, man I love that, Like, 745 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,879 Speaker 1: I don't know what else to say. I mean, God, 746 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:14,080 Speaker 1: that's so good. Without so Colin, you know things about 747 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:18,200 Speaker 1: your brother we don't know. So I would just encourage 748 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:25,400 Speaker 1: you to continue that brotherhood. Yeah, continue pushing in, continue 749 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:32,840 Speaker 1: being open about your faith and about what you believe, 750 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 1: and curious as to where he is and why he 751 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 1: feels the way he feels, or why he believes what 752 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:44,239 Speaker 1: he believes, why his standards are what they are, what's 753 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:50,400 Speaker 1: the basis without judgment, without judgment, just remain curious. And 754 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,480 Speaker 1: I believe you guys are going to get to a 755 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:58,759 Speaker 1: place of understanding of each other. There's I think the 756 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,839 Speaker 1: last question is what can we do to or what 757 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,719 Speaker 1: it says we can't help, but let in let in 758 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:09,400 Speaker 1: the feeling that we should be doing something more, just 759 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,759 Speaker 1: doing something more for him, yeah, or it says or 760 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:20,080 Speaker 1: something different to help him. Yeah, And the answer is no, 761 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,719 Speaker 1: there's not besides that message of the gospel. I just said, yeah, absolutely, 762 00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:31,400 Speaker 1: and pray for him, like genuinely intercede for him and 763 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,439 Speaker 1: for the rest of your family, because like Granger said, 764 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,400 Speaker 1: no one here is righteous, not even one. So you 765 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:44,440 Speaker 1: need to lump yourself into that prayer. Jesus, have mercy 766 00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,120 Speaker 1: on me the sinner, and have mercy on my brother, 767 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,200 Speaker 1: and have mercy on my dad, and I have mercy 768 00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:54,799 Speaker 1: on my mom. You are it. I notice how we're 769 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,840 Speaker 1: putting the whole family in this so that it's this 770 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:01,200 Speaker 1: is not condemning your brother because of because of who 771 00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,279 Speaker 1: he is or what he's doing. That's not because you're 772 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,680 Speaker 1: all in this together as sinners. I think what we 773 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,560 Speaker 1: can tend to do is we can tend to like 774 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:15,200 Speaker 1: focus and isolate sin and then category or put it 775 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:18,680 Speaker 1: into different categories and hierarchies level. This one's worse than 776 00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,359 Speaker 1: this one, and so now we know who to pray 777 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,080 Speaker 1: for more than somebody else. And I think what we're 778 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:30,000 Speaker 1: saying is is like, no, if this family can come 779 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:35,000 Speaker 1: together under that banner of repentance and under the banner 780 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:39,400 Speaker 1: of we are all desperate, I think there can really 781 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:43,560 Speaker 1: be some restoration and some healing and some understanding that 782 00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,839 Speaker 1: is not there. I think there can be some exposure 783 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: of some sin maybe in your parents and maybe in 784 00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:53,920 Speaker 1: you that you were unaware of. Without knowing your brother 785 00:47:54,880 --> 00:48:01,040 Speaker 1: and where his position is in his walk in his faith, 786 00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 1: if he's left the faith, because maybe he was condemned 787 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:09,400 Speaker 1: because he came out, which is not an uncommon story. Yep, right, 788 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:15,799 Speaker 1: but it's terrible. It's terrible. You need to put your 789 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,360 Speaker 1: arm back around and say you're still in this family. 790 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:21,200 Speaker 1: Come here, bro, Let's let's have these conver let's have 791 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:25,320 Speaker 1: these difficult conversations. Let's wade into this deep water together. 792 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:27,959 Speaker 1: I think there's gonna be a lot of healing there. 793 00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,680 Speaker 1: What happens with him, what happens with you? I mean, 794 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:35,880 Speaker 1: only God knows. You can't convince him intellectually to believe 795 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:41,680 Speaker 1: the gospel. You can't convince him psychology, psychologically or or philosophically. 796 00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,680 Speaker 1: You're not capable of doing that. And I'm not and 797 00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,279 Speaker 1: nobody is the power of the gospel. It is what 798 00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:52,480 Speaker 1: can do it alone. And lean into that and wrestle 799 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:54,919 Speaker 1: with your own sin, wrestle with the own your own 800 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:59,080 Speaker 1: problems that you're having, with your wondering eyes, with other girls, 801 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,359 Speaker 1: or whatever that might be, and and recognize that, and 802 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:06,040 Speaker 1: love him relentlessly because he's your brother, and don't judge him, 803 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:10,920 Speaker 1: and forgive him and and and do give him the 804 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,840 Speaker 1: grace that that has been given to you from Jesus. 805 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,120 Speaker 1: And know that I know that Jesus saves. The power 806 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,160 Speaker 1: of the Gospel is your message, and that's that's that 807 00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:21,719 Speaker 1: is your that is your sword that you go into 808 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:25,120 Speaker 1: battle with. Is that message, and never let go of it. 809 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,000 Speaker 1: And uh and and the power of God. The Gospel 810 00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,040 Speaker 1: will do what it's going to do. Hey man, brother, 811 00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,920 Speaker 1: all right, can I can I just pat my own 812 00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,960 Speaker 1: back real quick and say that I just before he 813 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,120 Speaker 1: has tackled that question on the podcast and I'm a 814 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 1: country singer. Yeah, I'll pat you on the back. Wow, dude. Yeah, 815 00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,759 Speaker 1: I think he did well. Man, I'm not Maybe we'll 816 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:53,319 Speaker 1: see how many We'll see how many comments. Yeah, maybe 817 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,760 Speaker 1: I lost a lot of followers. I don't know, But guys, 818 00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:00,839 Speaker 1: I'm I'm sticking to a convict that I feel like 819 00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,120 Speaker 1: is the most important message. That's way more important than 820 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:09,120 Speaker 1: my own popularity. Yeah. So you wanted to go to 821 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:10,960 Speaker 1: one of the generics, Yeah, one of the generics. I 822 00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,640 Speaker 1: just said number two because you know there's two of us, 823 00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:19,799 Speaker 1: and okay, I didn't want to give the first person though. Okay, Well, 824 00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,719 Speaker 1: I literally count how many people gave a subject line 825 00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,040 Speaker 1: a podcast question, and I'll go to number two. So 826 00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:31,000 Speaker 1: there's one two here. We go, little boy, It's a 827 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,680 Speaker 1: long one. There we go. Don't know what this is? 828 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:35,560 Speaker 1: Says hey there. My name is Melissa. I live out 829 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:39,719 Speaker 1: in New Mexico, but I've lived just about everywhere on 830 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:43,080 Speaker 1: the East Coast, including South Carolina, Maine, Massachusetts, et cetera. 831 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,560 Speaker 1: I grew up in church ever since I could remember. 832 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:49,120 Speaker 1: Here we go again burns another church question, and I 833 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,520 Speaker 1: felt the Holy Spirit touch me on multiple occasions, and 834 00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 1: all throughout my life, I've had moments where I've I've 835 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,880 Speaker 1: doubted him and I've doubted his existence, and I've always 836 00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,120 Speaker 1: just kept it inside of me, even though I know 837 00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:04,640 Speaker 1: that he's real because I've experienced his presence. But every now, 838 00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,840 Speaker 1: but every now and then, as the word gets more corrupt, 839 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,840 Speaker 1: and as the world gets more corrupt and out of control, 840 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,600 Speaker 1: I still have these doubts and I don't understand why. 841 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,880 Speaker 1: Why can't I just believe wholeheartedly? I know that the 842 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,040 Speaker 1: devil is always trying to draw you away from God? 843 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:23,440 Speaker 1: Is that what this is? I also just wanted to 844 00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,080 Speaker 1: say thank you for everything that you do with your family. 845 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,480 Speaker 1: Congrats on the new little one. I followed you for 846 00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:32,120 Speaker 1: a lot of years. Thank you very much. Melissa shout 847 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:38,200 Speaker 1: out to New Mexico. Okay, a couple directions with this question. 848 00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,759 Speaker 1: It's a great question, it's it's a common question, and 849 00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,120 Speaker 1: I want to I want to clear something up that 850 00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,719 Speaker 1: you didn't directly say, Melissa, but I just want to 851 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:52,920 Speaker 1: kind of speak to it that that our our faith 852 00:51:53,520 --> 00:52:00,720 Speaker 1: and our beliefs are not they cannot be whimsical. Blind 853 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,160 Speaker 1: faith can't. It's not supposed to be. It's not more. 854 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:07,680 Speaker 1: We're called no human is called to believe some crazy, 855 00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:15,200 Speaker 1: weird myth that no one could testify or or clarify 856 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:20,080 Speaker 1: in any way. And so the only way that you 857 00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:23,000 Speaker 1: could lean into this kind of faith is through the 858 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,319 Speaker 1: only thing. Okay, we have one of two things. We 859 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,440 Speaker 1: have two things that we could lean into with our faith. 860 00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,399 Speaker 1: One is, and I've heard this said before, the Book 861 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:35,960 Speaker 1: of Nature. It's rarely talked about, but the Book of Nature, 862 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,080 Speaker 1: it's not a book, it's just it's it's the idea 863 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,799 Speaker 1: that when you walk out into this world that is 864 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 1: in perfect sink, that is in perfect order, the the 865 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,880 Speaker 1: the have you heard, Bernie, the idea of the perfect 866 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:55,160 Speaker 1: universe scenario. Now, it's this idea that the way, the 867 00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,719 Speaker 1: way that this Earth is and the way that it 868 00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:02,160 Speaker 1: rotates in this solar system, around this sun, everything about it, 869 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:07,879 Speaker 1: everything is so perfect to the point zero zero zero 870 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:12,080 Speaker 1: zero zero zero one that it's like it's a crazy 871 00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:16,799 Speaker 1: number of zeros before that one. It's perfectly aligned in 872 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:21,359 Speaker 1: every way for our existence on this planet. And it's 873 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:25,560 Speaker 1: not hard to see when you go to see an 874 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,759 Speaker 1: incredible sunset, or you see the ocean waves and the 875 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,239 Speaker 1: tide moving in and out, or you go to the 876 00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:32,840 Speaker 1: Grand Canyon and take in the space and see the 877 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,360 Speaker 1: mountains and see a snowflake and the intricacies of the 878 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:39,759 Speaker 1: snowflake itself. You see that there is an order to this. 879 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:44,480 Speaker 1: There is a purpose that is way beyond the possibility 880 00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:49,080 Speaker 1: of an accident. And when we look in the best 881 00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,160 Speaker 1: telescopes that we have, and we look and look and 882 00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,520 Speaker 1: look and deep into the stars, and we struggle so 883 00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,520 Speaker 1: hard to find a planet similar to this one where 884 00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,239 Speaker 1: we can go, oh, there's another one that's perfect. H 885 00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,560 Speaker 1: It's really hard to do that. And here we are 886 00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,400 Speaker 1: in the middle of this solar system, just floating around, 887 00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:12,799 Speaker 1: and this something about it has an uncanny order that 888 00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:17,279 Speaker 1: you have to go, Man, this this is go look 889 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:19,560 Speaker 1: at a butterfly. Go look at it, Go look at 890 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:24,600 Speaker 1: a little baby, and you go that this is evidence 891 00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,600 Speaker 1: in nature right here. That's the way I called it 892 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,279 Speaker 1: the Book of Nature. There's evidence here that that that 893 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:32,839 Speaker 1: there's a creator, but we don't know who that creator is. 894 00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,319 Speaker 1: Through just that, we just see that there is an 895 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:39,520 Speaker 1: order to things. There is a quote unquote higher power 896 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:44,719 Speaker 1: to all of this chaos. And the second thing we 897 00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:47,279 Speaker 1: look to is the Bible, and that's the book, the 898 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,960 Speaker 1: Word of God that that puts us puts sense to 899 00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,840 Speaker 1: that Book of Nature. It puts a it puts a 900 00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:57,520 Speaker 1: an image behind it, it puts a story behind it, 901 00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:01,040 Speaker 1: it puts it puts the boundary around it. So we go, 902 00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:03,640 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I see it in the sunset and the 903 00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:06,400 Speaker 1: snowflake and the baby in the Grand Canyon. And then 904 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,880 Speaker 1: I read this book, and this book tells me why 905 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,239 Speaker 1: and who I am and my purpose here and where 906 00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:16,399 Speaker 1: I'm going after this life. And it gives you all 907 00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,839 Speaker 1: of those answers. And so through that word, and through 908 00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:25,400 Speaker 1: meditating on that word and reading that word and listening 909 00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,560 Speaker 1: to other people preach about that word, this gives us 910 00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,960 Speaker 1: a solid foundation for our faith so that when we 911 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,640 Speaker 1: doubt we're not blind. We fall back on the foundation 912 00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:41,680 Speaker 1: that is built for us. And this helps you feel 913 00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:47,680 Speaker 1: like I'm not just believing in a weird myth mystical reason. Yeah, no, 914 00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:54,840 Speaker 1: I think that's great, man, I Melissa, Yes, okay, I 915 00:55:54,880 --> 00:56:00,000 Speaker 1: can relate to Melissa. I had a very short lived 916 00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:03,440 Speaker 1: music career, and whenever I was writing songs, if you 917 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,879 Speaker 1: listen to any of those albums, a lot of those 918 00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,840 Speaker 1: songs have to do with the lyrics are very similar, 919 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:13,359 Speaker 1: like man, just wrestling and questioning and doubting, like God, 920 00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,000 Speaker 1: are you there? Like man, I don't feel you like 921 00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,400 Speaker 1: I want to. You know, there's just all of this. 922 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,480 Speaker 1: Well I don't understand. When will I understand? There's a 923 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:27,879 Speaker 1: whole lot of that. So this resonates with me, Melissa. 924 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,080 Speaker 1: I remember specifically somebody telling me one time though, because 925 00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,560 Speaker 1: I would have these doubts. I would like read something 926 00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,920 Speaker 1: either in the Bible or I'd hear something, and I 927 00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,080 Speaker 1: have these doubts, and then I would kind of chase 928 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:43,960 Speaker 1: this trail and just be like, well, I just don't 929 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:48,960 Speaker 1: understand this, and so therefore my entire faith would then 930 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:56,320 Speaker 1: be compromised. And this buddy of mine, Jacob van Horn 931 00:56:56,400 --> 00:57:00,960 Speaker 1: good friend of mine said, did you know it's okay 932 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:05,680 Speaker 1: for you not to know? So good? He said, because 933 00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:11,080 Speaker 1: Jesus knows. It was so simple. And it did take 934 00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:15,279 Speaker 1: some time for that to really sink in of some 935 00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,520 Speaker 1: of these parts of my faith and some of these 936 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:21,160 Speaker 1: parts of like the scripture I was reading, or things 937 00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:24,360 Speaker 1: that were happening in the world that I just didn't understand. 938 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:30,520 Speaker 1: But it was like I had this this you know, 939 00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:35,040 Speaker 1: eighty percent ninety percent understanding of things that, like you said, 940 00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,120 Speaker 1: like the Spirit had moved, I had seen a move 941 00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,920 Speaker 1: and my eyes had been opened. I believed this like 942 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,959 Speaker 1: I can't not believe it. But then this other little bit. 943 00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,280 Speaker 1: It was almost like the Spirit just came and said, hey, 944 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,880 Speaker 1: don't worry about that. Let's just just one thing at 945 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:55,000 Speaker 1: a time. Just keep abiding in me, and I am 946 00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:57,800 Speaker 1: going to reveal to you the things that I want 947 00:57:57,840 --> 00:57:59,840 Speaker 1: you to know right now. Maybe there's some things that 948 00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,680 Speaker 1: you just need to trust me about. You don't get 949 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 1: to know everything. You just need to trust me that 950 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:11,160 Speaker 1: within this order, that thing that you're kind of that's 951 00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,520 Speaker 1: causing you doubt in all of this, I got that, 952 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,360 Speaker 1: So don't worry about it, and I don't think that 953 00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 1: that means like you were saying that, oh well, just 954 00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:25,440 Speaker 1: trust God blindly and there's no I think sometimes we 955 00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:30,120 Speaker 1: can get very like overly analytical instead of just being 956 00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:33,160 Speaker 1: present where God has us in our faith, what he 957 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,200 Speaker 1: has in front of us right now, and trust that 958 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,240 Speaker 1: these things He's going to reveal to us in time. 959 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,960 Speaker 1: But sometimes we just have to wait, We have to 960 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:47,040 Speaker 1: wait on the Lord to do it so good. I 961 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,000 Speaker 1: want to also validate what Bernie's saying to you, Melissa, 962 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:53,720 Speaker 1: that you're not alone and it's not strange that you 963 00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:57,440 Speaker 1: think that. Of course I've thought that. Of course I've 964 00:58:57,480 --> 00:59:00,400 Speaker 1: gone through seasons of my life. But you can't rely 965 00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:04,960 Speaker 1: on a mystical spirit to lift you up all the 966 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:10,200 Speaker 1: time without verifying that through the word. And what I 967 00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:14,800 Speaker 1: mean is there's a lot of there's a lot of 968 00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:20,520 Speaker 1: mystical religions or even some of the Abrahamic religions that 969 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:24,200 Speaker 1: rely or can say you just rely only on the 970 00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:28,280 Speaker 1: spirit to speak to you or a dream. And you 971 00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,000 Speaker 1: could talk to a lot of people that go, why 972 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:33,480 Speaker 1: do you believe? And their answer is I believe because 973 00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:37,960 Speaker 1: of self revelation. I believe because God speaks to me. 974 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,200 Speaker 1: That's why I believe, and that's the end of the story. 975 00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:45,280 Speaker 1: And I'm here to say that's not enough, because anyone, 976 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,080 Speaker 1: anyone could say I had a dream last night that 977 00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:51,800 Speaker 1: a wolf spoke to me in the woods and the 978 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:55,920 Speaker 1: wolf said that he is God and he was wearing 979 00:59:55,920 --> 01:00:00,680 Speaker 1: a red gown and a purple hat, and his name 980 01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,840 Speaker 1: was Stephen, and it was so real. So I think 981 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,440 Speaker 1: God is a wolf, and God speaks to me through 982 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,880 Speaker 1: Stephen the wolf. And you can't convince that person that 983 01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:14,160 Speaker 1: they're wrong. You can't because they experienced it. It It was 984 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:17,520 Speaker 1: a revelation. Stephen the Wolf spoke. It was real, y'all. 985 01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:21,000 Speaker 1: It was real. You can't. I'm using that example because 986 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,960 Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that will say something like that. 987 01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,800 Speaker 1: But unless you could take Stephen the Wolf and then 988 01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,920 Speaker 1: open up the Bible and go where is Stephen the Wolf? 989 01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,560 Speaker 1: And here's not in here? I think that was just 990 01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:37,440 Speaker 1: the pizza last night, you know what I mean. And 991 01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:39,680 Speaker 1: I don't mean to diminish your question, Melissa. I don't 992 01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:41,960 Speaker 1: mean to laugh at it at all, but I'm just 993 01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,040 Speaker 1: trying to say, as a whole, you can't just rely 994 01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:48,320 Speaker 1: on personal revelation or personal blind faith. You can't it's 995 01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,080 Speaker 1: got to be concrete. You got to look at you 996 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,520 Speaker 1: got to look at the word of God or feeling 997 01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:57,240 Speaker 1: or just relying on how you feel. Can't rely on it. 998 01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:01,640 Speaker 1: And in the moment there's too many, you know, psalms 999 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:07,200 Speaker 1: about just like these feelings of anguish and despair. It's 1000 01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,240 Speaker 1: like if they just relied on that, they probably would 1001 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,320 Speaker 1: have walked away, you know. But you can't just rely 1002 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:16,320 Speaker 1: on those feelings. It's good. I don't think I don't 1003 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,080 Speaker 1: think I can go to another question after talking about 1004 01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:24,120 Speaker 1: Steven the wolf. Yeah in the red Sorry, maybe that 1005 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:27,040 Speaker 1: was the pizza and somebody can somebody meme that? Please? Like, 1006 01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,000 Speaker 1: we love you guys. That's all the time we have, 1007 01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,400 Speaker 1: right you. Thank you. Then we'll see you next time. Ye. 1008 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:36,800 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate 1009 01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,000 Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by 1010 01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:42,960 Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe 1011 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:46,360 Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification 1012 01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:50,320 Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. 1013 01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,280 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would 1014 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:58,080 Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 1015 01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:00,680 Speaker 1: Yi da