Speaker 1: Episode eighty two, Why you Can't finish Paying Off your Debt.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity rights, and live with your life.
Speaker 1: Here your host Jen and Jill. Welcome to a very
Speaker 1: special episode of the Frugal Friends podcast. Well Jill, that
Speaker 1: voice is Jill Um because this is the uh special
Speaker 1: pay Off your Debt for Good book release episode. This
Speaker 1: is a quasi half episode, half celebration, mostly episode. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna be over here celebrating, but we are going
Speaker 1: to go through all of the parts of the book
Speaker 1: a little overview and help you figure out how to
Speaker 1: stick with a debt free journey. And if you are
Speaker 1: interested more, you can go get the book. M M.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for you. Congrats Jen Man, I'm excited
Speaker 1: it's done. I did it. This is Jill. I have
Speaker 1: not written a book. I've written a bunch of papers,
Speaker 1: probably a compile it to a book. Yes, your under way,
Speaker 1: you are, and when you write your book, we'll have
Speaker 1: a special book episode party for you. Thank you, but
Speaker 1: first we'll do our sponsors, also brought to you by
Speaker 1: hanging in there when you're definitely not killing it. But
Speaker 1: you're also not completely out of the game, like that
Speaker 1: little cat poster of a tiny little feline clinging to
Speaker 1: the side of a wall. So it can feel on
Speaker 1: this financial journey. But take heart and don't let go
Speaker 1: tiny kitten. Hang in there when we don't know what
Speaker 1: else to say, but we know giving up as bad advice.
Speaker 1: Hanging their tiny kitten. Man, I wish I am. I
Speaker 1: wish I would have heard this months ago. I could
Speaker 1: have included that in the book, hanging in their tiny kitten.
Speaker 1: That would have been That would have been the ending.
Speaker 1: Someone will come rescue you soon. That would have been
Speaker 1: the last line of the book. Hanging in their tiny kitten.
Speaker 1: No context. Supposter always makes me laugh so much. It's
Speaker 1: so good. All right, let's get into it. I am
Speaker 1: like there's so much excitement, like building out of my head.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to focus. But we are going
Speaker 1: through two different headlines, just like we normally do, and
Speaker 1: they're all pertaining on why it's hard to pay off debt,
Speaker 1: what you can do to get through that journey, and
Speaker 1: they're kind of all just overviews of things that I
Speaker 1: talked about in the book. So we'll start with this
Speaker 1: article from the ballot, It's seven reasons It's so hard
Speaker 1: to get out of debt. What do you think about
Speaker 1: this one, Jill? It was good. I think they gave
Speaker 1: some really good tips. The thing that didn't quite resonate
Speaker 1: with me about this particular article is that they seem
Speaker 1: to be writing to the person who is in debt
Speaker 1: because of overspending. So I think that leaves out a
Speaker 1: whole segment of people who are in debt because of
Speaker 1: student loans or if you count your mortgage, which isn't
Speaker 1: frivolous spending, that you need to really rein it in
Speaker 1: and have some self control like you never have in
Speaker 1: the past. So I think it's worth saying that there
Speaker 1: are different reasons that we find ourselves in debt. One
Speaker 1: is not necessarily better than another, but then the way
Speaker 1: that we approach it might be different. But all said
Speaker 1: and done, I think great tips. Yeah, I think that's
Speaker 1: an important distinction to make because I was in debt
Speaker 1: not from rivola spending. It was because it was my
Speaker 1: student loans and then a car, and and it was
Speaker 1: a Toyota Corolla used it was a you know, a
Speaker 1: very what you're into the luxury cars linked out girl.
Speaker 1: I do want Alexis one day, but it's I still
Speaker 1: couldn't own my participation in going into debt. I was
Speaker 1: still in denial, and um, like that caused such a
Speaker 1: disconnect between me and my debt. I kind of I
Speaker 1: kind of identified as the debt, but I also thought, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm doing all these good things financially, I'm fine, this
Speaker 1: debt is fine. It was such a weird season in
Speaker 1: my life. But yeah, so it's just as important to
Speaker 1: figure out all of this stuff when you're overspending as
Speaker 1: much as when you're being quote unquote frugal. I was
Speaker 1: definitely just in a scarcity mindset, but we talked about
Speaker 1: that later. But yeah, so these seven things. The first
Speaker 1: one is you have to change your lifestyle. So you
Speaker 1: definitely have to make some changes if you're going to
Speaker 1: get out of debt. Like what if you didn't have
Speaker 1: to make changes, you'd already be getting out of debt.
Speaker 1: You know, it's true. Yeah, So, um, in my book,
Speaker 1: I talk about how to use habits to change your
Speaker 1: lifestyle because your brain goes on autopilot and you either
Speaker 1: fall into your bad habits or you can fall into
Speaker 1: your good habits. And if you've got good ones, then
Speaker 1: it makes changing your lifestyle really easy. Not to go
Speaker 1: off on too much of a rabbit trail, but what
Speaker 1: did you learn about setting new habits as you wrote
Speaker 1: your book? I so I really emphasized um, starting small
Speaker 1: and picking one or two habits, starting with healthy, and
Speaker 1: then once you've established those habits, or at least what
Speaker 1: they're going to be, then figure out the bad habits
Speaker 1: you're going to replace those habits with. So if I
Speaker 1: want to stop spending at Starbucks, which is something I
Speaker 1: talked about a lot in the book because I love coffee,
Speaker 1: then my good habit was making coffee at home. So
Speaker 1: replacing that habit with the good habit and just kind
Speaker 1: of looking at it like a formula. You'll find that
Speaker 1: I'm very formulaic. I like to break things down and compartmentalize.
Speaker 1: That helps me wrap my brain around things better. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of other people feel the same way.
Speaker 1: That's excellent, And then the tangibles to it can make
Speaker 1: it so helpful to look it back and say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I did that. I did that one tangible thing and
Speaker 1: it helped. Yeah. But also so yeah, certainly starts small,
Speaker 1: but the second one on this list is sacrifice for now,
Speaker 1: and so certainly in this debt payoff journey, it is
Speaker 1: going to require sacrifice. So if we're not doing that,
Speaker 1: then yeah, the process is going to be a lot
Speaker 1: slower or it just won't happen. And but I like
Speaker 1: how they said for now. And that's not to say that, Okay,
Speaker 1: we throw frugality or all these other healthy habits out
Speaker 1: the window once we pay off debt. But the degree
Speaker 1: to which we have to sacrifice can shift. But if
Speaker 1: we want to go hard at specifically paying off debt,
Speaker 1: it will require big sacrifice. Certainly cut out the daily latte,
Speaker 1: But those aren't the big sacrifices that are going to
Speaker 1: make the big difference here. So we're talking not getting
Speaker 1: into big car loan payments. We're talking, uh, not buying
Speaker 1: a house possibly when you do have six figures you
Speaker 1: still owe back on debt. We're talking not spending a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of money on Christmas. These things that are
Speaker 1: actually going to make the difference to sacrifice in those areas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really like the idea of minimalis frugality. So only
Speaker 1: choosing a few things to cut back on versus you know,
Speaker 1: daily lattes, which also are important. That's just like a
Speaker 1: mental lifestyle thing that you need to get a hold of.
Speaker 1: But um, I really four categories are most important, housing, transportation, food,
Speaker 1: and monthly bills. And if you can find a way
Speaker 1: to save on those things, then you don't have to
Speaker 1: be as involved in your day to day pinching pennies.
Speaker 1: You will save hundreds like sacrificing for now, like renting
Speaker 1: a smaller apartment or moving a little further outside of
Speaker 1: the city, changing up the way you commute to work.
Speaker 1: So sacrificing for now is I think the for now
Speaker 1: part is something a lot of people tend to forget,
Speaker 1: So I like their distinction on that one. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I love your refocus on the four big areas housing, transportation, food,
Speaker 1: and monthly bills exact our first four episodes essentially, because
Speaker 1: those are the basics, the pillars of where we spend
Speaker 1: the most money, and so if you can focus in
Speaker 1: on those areas, you're going to be far better off
Speaker 1: in your debt repayment journey. Yeah. The third one is
Speaker 1: high finance charges take much of your payment and so
Speaker 1: this is where your debt payoff method comes in. Whether
Speaker 1: you're choosing the debt avalanche or the debt snowball, And honestly,
Speaker 1: I used a combination of both. And I recommend people
Speaker 1: do what works for them. I know it's not very
Speaker 1: popular to uh fall in the radical middle when you're
Speaker 1: writing a book, um, but I think that people really
Speaker 1: need to take a good look at themselves, the way
Speaker 1: they act, the way they spend and decide, and how
Speaker 1: they think, how they process things. And like math, people
Speaker 1: are really gonna love the debt avalanche and psychological like people.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're all psychological people, but people that are
Speaker 1: more in a psychology and like the dead snowball. So
Speaker 1: you just have to figure out what works for you.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to be married to either one.
Speaker 1: You can you can go off with the other that
Speaker 1: you have not covenanted together nice And Number four of
Speaker 1: the reason that this article lists for why it can
Speaker 1: take so long or feel so difficult to run into
Speaker 1: so many bearers with that payoff is when you see
Speaker 1: everyone else spending. And this is a big one, especially
Speaker 1: when it comes to getting together with friends. Everyone else
Speaker 1: is going out to dinner or I just saw somebody
Speaker 1: post in our Frugal Friends Facebook community group alliteration that everybody,
Speaker 1: all of our co workers, over lunch, we're going to
Speaker 1: be buying Christmas costumes or Christmas I don't know, Christmas
Speaker 1: costumes or yeah, something like that, or Christmas gifts or
Speaker 1: things to wear around Christmas. I'm like ugly sweater or
Speaker 1: the matching pajamas. Like that's a new thing, but you
Speaker 1: only really use it one time a year. But then
Speaker 1: you've got this pressure with coworkers that we're all going
Speaker 1: to use our time off. And so if I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that, then do I really have a place to
Speaker 1: hang out with them? Can I sit there and watch
Speaker 1: them all one click by while I don't just an example.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great one, but it's it's a
Speaker 1: real thing. Everyone else is spending and they just anticipate
Speaker 1: that you're going to jump in on it. So that's
Speaker 1: where a lot of personal boundaries and determination towards your
Speaker 1: own goals is really important. And this depends on each
Speaker 1: individual of how exactly you're going to approach that, whether hey,
Speaker 1: I'm going to stick this one out or yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: going to join, but here's what I'm going to do,
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm not gonna do. Yeah, I'll join you
Speaker 1: out for dinner, but I'm going to get a soda
Speaker 1: and that's it. Or I'm going to get an appetizer,
Speaker 1: or hey, I already eight. But I love to sit
Speaker 1: and chat with you all who to find your area
Speaker 1: of comfort without necessarily sacrificing relationship or for a season,
Speaker 1: hanging out with people who have similar goals as you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's it's a very important topic to talk
Speaker 1: about relationships when you're paying off debt, because that is
Speaker 1: the biggest thing nobody told me about when I started
Speaker 1: paying off our debt is that my relationships that I
Speaker 1: had prior would change. So that's a big thing I
Speaker 1: talked about, and it kind of ties into the next
Speaker 1: one is that others five as others may not support
Speaker 1: your debt repayment. So whether it's not just people like
Speaker 1: outright being negative, but just not being supportive of you,
Speaker 1: like encouraging you, and just being overall um just like
Speaker 1: a neutral or quasi negative presence. So I wish there
Speaker 1: was a tip that I could give you that this
Speaker 1: is the three things you do to make sure that
Speaker 1: your relationships are healthy. But part of it just comes
Speaker 1: down to like building thicker skin, like you really do
Speaker 1: become more emboldened. Um. I think boundaries, like you said,
Speaker 1: are on the path to that how you get to
Speaker 1: boldness and thick skin. So I talked about that in
Speaker 1: the book. And one of the great things though, is
Speaker 1: that while some of my relationships changed, I gained these
Speaker 1: other relationships that I would have never had to. I
Speaker 1: would have never had the reason to make these new
Speaker 1: friends if I hadn't been trying to spend less money
Speaker 1: and spend more time in my area. So it's not
Speaker 1: just a bad thing that everyone else is spending money
Speaker 1: and they're just not in the season to where they're
Speaker 1: paying off debt. That's not a bad thing. So you
Speaker 1: also can get judgmental when you're trying to pay off debt,
Speaker 1: thinking like everybody else should too, it's not their season,
Speaker 1: it's not their season, and and don't bring that negative
Speaker 1: d to their life either. But just support yourself and
Speaker 1: surround yourself with others, and sometimes it's family and you
Speaker 1: can't get away from that, and boundaries come in there too.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's another thing that the article mentions is
Speaker 1: not even those on the peripheral, but even within your
Speaker 1: own family. Certainly, if you've got kids or a spouse,
Speaker 1: then they have to be on board with this too.
Speaker 1: If you're planning to cut the cable, well, that affects everybody.
Speaker 1: Or if you want to move to one car, that
Speaker 1: affects everybody. So there's other aspects too that can be
Speaker 1: barriers to how quickly you can pay off debt, depending
Speaker 1: on how many other people are impacted by some of
Speaker 1: the decisions you make to cut spending. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: It's difficult, but it's not impossible, so you just have
Speaker 1: to be aware of it and factor it in to
Speaker 1: your debt repayment. Yeah, and we've got an episode on
Speaker 1: getting your spouse on board. And I know there's plenty
Speaker 1: of articles online about this too. But which cut leads
Speaker 1: us next to number six, which is unexpected expenses? This
Speaker 1: one is massive, and Jen and I will share our
Speaker 1: own barriers, things that have cropped up and I don't know,
Speaker 1: thrown us off track a bit and our debt payoff.
Speaker 1: But this one's a big one of Yeah, the car
Speaker 1: needs fixing, or something on the house breaks, or you've
Speaker 1: got to do some last minute travel or you name it.
Speaker 1: There's constantly unexpected expenses coming up, and of course having
Speaker 1: an emergency fund helps with this. That's absolutely a recommendation
Speaker 1: that we have is to have an emergency fund. Decide
Speaker 1: what amount makes sense for you and your family. But yeah,
Speaker 1: this can throw us off our goals really easily. And
Speaker 1: that's where it's not letting it completely wipe you out
Speaker 1: and be an excuse to not keep going. But this
Speaker 1: does come with the territory and it's a shame, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean that we can't still reach our goal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when Jill and I were in Nashville last month, Jill,
Speaker 1: do you remember the story that I think it was
Speaker 1: Ken Davis told about how he went to hang out
Speaker 1: with those Navy Seals. I don't know if it was
Speaker 1: Yea and so he um, no, no, No No, I think
Speaker 1: it was Chris Hogan and he was asking them like,
Speaker 1: how do you know, how are you so tough? Or whatever?
Speaker 1: The Navy Seals like we plan for obstacles, like we
Speaker 1: expect them. We trained for them, and we plan for them,
Speaker 1: and and that is their whole job is to plan, train,
Speaker 1: and expect obstacles in their missions. And I feel like
Speaker 1: it's the same for our death free journey. You have
Speaker 1: to plan, train, and expect obstacles. And if you do that,
Speaker 1: if you plan for them in advance and you expect them,
Speaker 1: you will be leaps and bounds ahead of everybody else
Speaker 1: trying to pay off debt. Yeah, they will not throw
Speaker 1: you off as much. Yea. Not only will you potentially
Speaker 1: have the money to pay for it because you've planned
Speaker 1: for it, but the important aspect of what it does
Speaker 1: to our psyche, which is so much of what we're
Speaker 1: talking about of staying motivated in determination and habit formation
Speaker 1: and all these things. When something comes in that's unexpected,
Speaker 1: it has the potential to wipe us out because we
Speaker 1: feel defeated or we want to give up. But if
Speaker 1: we've expected them, then we just keep moving right along.
Speaker 1: I knew this was coming here, it is and I'm
Speaker 1: not thrown off and I don't need to give up
Speaker 1: right now. So what that can do for our mental
Speaker 1: status and this process is super important. Yes. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: the very last one on this list is it's hard
Speaker 1: to pay off debt because it can take a long
Speaker 1: time and we under estimate how long it will take.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we overestimate. We thought we would pay off our
Speaker 1: debt in five years and it ended up taking twenty
Speaker 1: three months once we got our momentum going, even through
Speaker 1: all the obstacles that we that should not we should
Speaker 1: not have paid it off in two years and is yeah,
Speaker 1: but it can take a long time, and you have
Speaker 1: to be ready for that. It will take typically several years.
Speaker 1: And to go from living one lifestyle to doing a
Speaker 1: one eight and living another lifestyle for several years, you
Speaker 1: are literally the worst at money you are ever going
Speaker 1: to be while you're paying off debt. Think about that,
Speaker 1: you are the worst at money you are ever going
Speaker 1: to be, and you're trying to do this huge thing,
Speaker 1: and so you got to give yourself grace and you've
Speaker 1: got to accept it's going to take some time, good word,
Speaker 1: and prepare your mind to be in it for the
Speaker 1: long haul that I'm going to wish I was there quicker,
Speaker 1: and maybe use that as fuel to incorporate other things
Speaker 1: to help you do it faster. But know that this
Speaker 1: is not going to be an overnight thing. Right, So
Speaker 1: that's why it's so hard to pay off at Our
Speaker 1: next article is how to get motivated to keep going.
Speaker 1: So part of the book is understanding why our money
Speaker 1: mindset is like it is, and the other part is
Speaker 1: practical tips to make it through and they're all interwoven
Speaker 1: into this like twenty one days of action steps. So
Speaker 1: this one is from psych Central and it's twelve tips
Speaker 1: to get motivated when you're stuck in a life ret
Speaker 1: And I love the opening line on this one, don't
Speaker 1: worry it's only a temporary rat because it so is,
Speaker 1: and people let people let it derail them so easily,
Speaker 1: even though it's really usually shorter than we anticipate. So
Speaker 1: the first one on this list is to write on
Speaker 1: paper how you're spending your time. I liked this one
Speaker 1: because I talk a lot about writing down your goals
Speaker 1: and writing down your why. Like writing things down and
Speaker 1: seeing it, having it tangible and visible is so important. Um,
Speaker 1: and that's why I created a workbook to go along
Speaker 1: with the book for free, because I'm so passionate about
Speaker 1: how important it is to write things down and so,
Speaker 1: but I didn't think about writing on paper how you're
Speaker 1: spending your time. I talk about simplifying your schedule and
Speaker 1: uh this method called bandwidth blocking, so you can schedule
Speaker 1: your time. But I never thought about having like a
Speaker 1: time inventory, So I think that's really important. Similar concept
Speaker 1: to that the app you can check your At least
Speaker 1: on Apple, you can check how you're spending your screen time,
Speaker 1: which is a scary thing, but can you help us
Speaker 1: know where is my time going? I might think that
Speaker 1: I'm spending a lot of time on my goals and
Speaker 1: not a lot of time on entertainment, but you might
Speaker 1: find that as you start tracking it that it's different.
Speaker 1: Same with spending money, tracking where it's going to actually
Speaker 1: get an accurate handle on where you're spending versus where
Speaker 1: you think you're spending. I liked number five on here,
Speaker 1: which talked about overcoming the fear of criticism. If we
Speaker 1: are able to overcome this fear, then we are better
Speaker 1: able to stick to our motivation, stick to our goals.
Speaker 1: And so the suggestion that they give here is to
Speaker 1: just not basically essentially not share what you're doing with
Speaker 1: those who disapprove, assuming that it's a healthy thing, right,
Speaker 1: We're talking about healthy goals here. And if you know
Speaker 1: that this is gonna be something beneficial for you and
Speaker 1: your family, but you know that it might others might
Speaker 1: fundamentally disagree with you based on their background, whatever, then
Speaker 1: they might not be the person to get feedback from
Speaker 1: or to constantly be going to thinking that maybe this
Speaker 1: time they'll understand and they'll be supportive. If that, if
Speaker 1: that just consistently tears you down, then don't go to them,
Speaker 1: don't look for their approval, just stay quiet, share it
Speaker 1: with people who you know are supportive of it, because
Speaker 1: those things, those people who are very critical, who aren't
Speaker 1: getting on board, that can really slow us down in
Speaker 1: our motivation towards goals. Yeah, definitely, if it's not their time,
Speaker 1: it's not their time. You just have to be patient
Speaker 1: and really lead by example. Do your thing, and then
Speaker 1: they'll really do your thing in silence. And then one
Speaker 1: day you'll be debt free and you'll be doing all
Speaker 1: of these things that they want to do, and then
Speaker 1: they'll see it that will speak louder than any words
Speaker 1: you could have said to them. Oh my word, if
Speaker 1: I was if I tried to convince people about me
Speaker 1: living in an RV being a good idea while trying
Speaker 1: to make the move into an RV, that would have
Speaker 1: been so overwhelming. I needed to focus on moving into
Speaker 1: an r V, not also getting everybody around me on
Speaker 1: board with the idea. It's like it's it's the same concept.
Speaker 1: So if people are on board with it. Then don't
Speaker 1: talk about it. Just do it. Usually that's more effective anyway.
Speaker 1: Just just do it, yes, Nike, just just do it.
Speaker 1: Not sponsored, not sponsored, but if you're listening, come at
Speaker 1: us um. I also liked number four Overcome the fear
Speaker 1: of failure with small risks, and I think this speaks
Speaker 1: to resiliency rise. Biliency is the ability to bounce back
Speaker 1: to the same capacity or stronger after failures or mistakes,
Speaker 1: and sometimes coming out of a setback, some people can
Speaker 1: just take them in stride. And those are the people
Speaker 1: that pay off their debt quickly, and and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it seems so easy for them, but honestly, it was
Speaker 1: just they were just resilient. And so if you didn't
Speaker 1: develop a natural resilience growing up, because not everybody does,
Speaker 1: you can actually train your mind to become resilient. And
Speaker 1: that's by taking small risks and failing small and then
Speaker 1: bouncing back from that and looking at your progress over
Speaker 1: time to show yourself that you can bounce back as
Speaker 1: strong and stronger than before. I also like number eleven
Speaker 1: on here, which was says stop using distractions as an excuse,
Speaker 1: and they use examples like I don't have any support,
Speaker 1: or it's just too hard, or my job keeps me
Speaker 1: too busy, which to me is just excuses. In general,
Speaker 1: I think this is a big one that can keep
Speaker 1: us from getting at goals. And similar to I think
Speaker 1: we had this conversation with Rob Berger when he was
Speaker 1: on the show a couple episodes back, just about that
Speaker 1: the difference between extrinsic versus int intrinsic motivation, and how
Speaker 1: so often the people who aren't doing this thing have
Speaker 1: all the excuses in the world of why they can't
Speaker 1: while I have kids right now, or I'm not married,
Speaker 1: or I am married, or I live in an expensive area,
Speaker 1: or I'm still in school or what like whatever you
Speaker 1: can fill in the blank, essentially their excuses. It doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that it's going to look exactly the same as
Speaker 1: your neighbor who is paying off debt. But it also
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you can't do it yourself in a
Speaker 1: way that makes sense for you. So finding that motivation
Speaker 1: inside yourself to say, yeah, I can do this through
Speaker 1: these small changes versus just staying where you're at because
Speaker 1: you think you can't do any different. Yes, good word.
Speaker 1: So I liked two more on this list. So the
Speaker 1: first one I liked was hang out with the right people.
Speaker 1: So we just talked about relationships and how I got
Speaker 1: these friendships while we were paying off debt and they
Speaker 1: didn't know the old spending version of me they had.
Speaker 1: They didn't expect anything from me because they didn't know me,
Speaker 1: and so I got to essentially not like kind of um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I I gained these new friendships on the
Speaker 1: basis of like doing free things and being frugal and
Speaker 1: spending time instead of money, which was so great. But
Speaker 1: I think another part of putting the people in your
Speaker 1: life is having an accountability partner. And probably my my
Speaker 1: favorite thing that's come out of the book so far
Speaker 1: is that my editor, who when she was reading through
Speaker 1: the book, got to the chapter on finding an accountability
Speaker 1: partner and she called up our old co worker and
Speaker 1: she's like, we're going to hold each other accountable to
Speaker 1: pay off our debt. And I was like, yes, you
Speaker 1: took action, and that's amazing. You're inspiring even your editor. Wow,
Speaker 1: I gotta get this book. It was just so cool
Speaker 1: to hear. And so, but like, an accountability partner isn't
Speaker 1: going to necessarily be your best friend. It's going to
Speaker 1: be somebody who's invested in your success will actually tell
Speaker 1: you know, and vice versa, you are invested in their
Speaker 1: success and you are willing to tell them no. And
Speaker 1: it's not they don't necessarily have to be paying off debt,
Speaker 1: but they have to be working towards the goal, and
Speaker 1: it may not be the entire length of your debt payoff.
Speaker 1: Accountability partners can be seasonal, and I say you should
Speaker 1: always be looking for your next accountability partner because you know,
Speaker 1: life happens, and sometimes those relationships have to dissolve, you know,
Speaker 1: for better or for worse. And so, but having someone
Speaker 1: whether it's your spouse, whether it's an acquaintance or just
Speaker 1: a regular friend, or even somebody from the debt free
Speaker 1: community on Instagram that you can check in with weekly
Speaker 1: or bi weekly to make sure you guys, are spending
Speaker 1: in your within your budget and reaching your payoff goals
Speaker 1: is so critical to success. And yeah, there's so many
Speaker 1: people if you search for hashtag debt free community, so
Speaker 1: many people on Instagram they're trying to do this. Lurk
Speaker 1: around for a little bit, put a call out that
Speaker 1: you're looking for an accountability partner, and you should be
Speaker 1: able to find one. Yeah, what's the other tip you
Speaker 1: like down here the past one? Number twelve is identify
Speaker 1: those fears and walk right over them. Yes. So I
Speaker 1: talked about my scarcity mindset before, and that was a
Speaker 1: big barrier to me to paying off debt. I thought
Speaker 1: that I was never going to have a lot of money,
Speaker 1: so that I would never be able to pay off
Speaker 1: my debt, even though I had, like my income was rising,
Speaker 1: I was living at home, and then I lived in
Speaker 1: an affordable apartment and all this stuff. Even when I
Speaker 1: was on the cusp of getting married and you know,
Speaker 1: doubling my income probably hopefully we're talking about that later. Um,
Speaker 1: I still felt like I couldn't pay off debt because
Speaker 1: I didn't have enough money. That was just ingrained in
Speaker 1: my head from childhood, and I had to separate myself
Speaker 1: from that let it go. I also had a lot
Speaker 1: of like shame and guilt around taking out my loans
Speaker 1: because I knew they were loans that I had to
Speaker 1: pay back, but I didn't realize the magnitude of them
Speaker 1: until it came time. So they gave me a lot
Speaker 1: of anxiety, and so I had to let go of
Speaker 1: those feelings too. So it was that scarcity mindset, the
Speaker 1: feelings of guilt that I'm bad with money mindset and
Speaker 1: walk right over them. And when I let go of them,
Speaker 1: I'm now able to take pride in everything that I
Speaker 1: spend money on. I am able to take pride in
Speaker 1: where I'm at professionally and what I make and so
Speaker 1: many more non financial things. Yeah, the ripple effect. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm proud of, and I think I do.
Speaker 1: The bill of the weed. That's right, it's time for
Speaker 1: the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby
Speaker 1: was born and his name is Williams. Maybe you paid
Speaker 1: off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy
Speaker 1: to not have to pay that bill anymore. To Bill
Speaker 1: Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week. Hey,
Speaker 1: Jenn and Jill, and my name is Gala, and I'm
Speaker 1: a new listener, so I'm catching up on all your
Speaker 1: podcasts and loving it. You both do such a great job,
Speaker 1: and I think your voices are very cool. Um. I
Speaker 1: there's no actual guy named Bill in my Bill of
Speaker 1: the week, but there is a guy, and I am
Speaker 1: head of her hills in love with him, and he
Speaker 1: and I were just discussing our dream bed, and yes,
Speaker 1: we are moving forward in life together. So um, shopping
Speaker 1: for furniture is something that we do. And UM, I
Speaker 1: just paid, happily paid a hundred and twenty five dollars
Speaker 1: through Facebook marketplace for our dream bed, which is an
Speaker 1: Italian canopy brushed nickel stainless or something or other bed.
Speaker 1: Not the canopy time when you're a little girl with ruffles,
Speaker 1: but really square, looks like a box, really modern, our
Speaker 1: dream bed that we were just talking about and looking
Speaker 1: for one hundred and twenty five dollars or I couldn't
Speaker 1: pay it fast enough to make sure I got that
Speaker 1: beds Anyways, you're doing a great job. Have a wonderful week.
Speaker 1: Thankst Oh it sounds luxurious. I love the way that
Speaker 1: that bed sounds. I had a bed like this, I
Speaker 1: mean the little girl version that you're describing. So this
Speaker 1: is the grown up version that you got at a
Speaker 1: Steel's Facebook marketplace. I get so many things there. It's
Speaker 1: so good. I love the way you talk about that.
Speaker 1: I love your voice too, and thanks for talking about
Speaker 1: our voices since apparently they get attacked. But you're building
Speaker 1: us right back up. I know we are. We are
Speaker 1: stereotypical valley girl voices. But we're not even That's the thing.
Speaker 1: I know. People have to man explain valley girl voices
Speaker 1: to me. I'm done, Thank you, goodbye. Oh thanks for
Speaker 1: sharing your bill of the week with us. If anyone
Speaker 1: else out there listening wants to submit your bill of
Speaker 1: the week anything, whether it's related to a bed or
Speaker 1: a Facebook marketplace bill, or or a guy named Bill
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, head on over to Frugal Friends podcast dot
Speaker 1: com slash Bill and tell us what you got. Yes, please,
Speaker 1: and now for the lightening you. This is our second
Speaker 1: favorite time of the week, and we are going to
Speaker 1: share with you our biggest setbacks on the road to
Speaker 1: debt freedom. Here you go get an authentic I learned
Speaker 1: best through other people's stories, and you will find a
Speaker 1: lot of my stories in the book. And because I
Speaker 1: feel like stories. You can read a definition and an
Speaker 1: explanation online, but until you hear how somebody has interpreted
Speaker 1: it in real life, you don't fully comprehend it. And
Speaker 1: so these are ours. My first one was we experienced
Speaker 1: drastic underemployment during our debt payoff. I was only working
Speaker 1: twenty five hours a week, is all I could get
Speaker 1: for me that was full time, and Travis was not
Speaker 1: even Lloyd when we got married. Hence why I said earlier,
Speaker 1: I thought I was getting a second income, but I
Speaker 1: wasn't sure. And I was employed for a few months
Speaker 1: and then got laid off. So yeah, we experienced one
Speaker 1: layoff and one unemployment and me being employed part time.
Speaker 1: So through all that, we had to really hustle our
Speaker 1: butts off to make money because we did not have
Speaker 1: a lot of money coming in. And I've shared my
Speaker 1: shingles story before how I thought I could out earn
Speaker 1: my spending and then worked so many side hustles. I
Speaker 1: gave myself shingles, and that is how I became an
Speaker 1: advocate for frugality through that story. Is not a good look, Nope,
Speaker 1: it's not. And uh so, yeah, that was our setback.
Speaker 1: So I see these people like we were making gosh,
Speaker 1: I was making thirty six grand and Travis probably made
Speaker 1: just around that and everything else we made up for
Speaker 1: inside hush souls um and cutting our spending, and we
Speaker 1: took a lot of the tips that I talked about
Speaker 1: in cutting the Big Four. And that's how we that's
Speaker 1: how we did it, very similar to what you're saying
Speaker 1: for us low income jobs combined with switching jobs. So
Speaker 1: when when Eric and I got married, I still was
Speaker 1: in school for a year, so that was a thing.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. There was a time when we literally
Speaker 1: had eleven dollars in our bank account. That's it. That
Speaker 1: was what we had to our names, and I think
Speaker 1: we probably still went out to eat. I think I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm hungry. How much do we have in
Speaker 1: our account? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Uh. And then
Speaker 1: my first job out of college was at a nonprofit
Speaker 1: that paid me twenty four thousand dollars, and that was
Speaker 1: exactly when Eric decided that he wanted a career change
Speaker 1: that we thought would be quick. His career change ended
Speaker 1: up taking uh a few years, you know, maybe like
Speaker 1: half a decade. But that's okay. He did make money
Speaker 1: in the meantime, but it was never stable. We are
Speaker 1: entrepreneurs to the core. So that's the whole other piece
Speaker 1: is not even throughout our married lives, not consistently bringing
Speaker 1: in income, not not being employed by somebody who is
Speaker 1: paying us a regular salary. So I mean, you name it. Uh,
Speaker 1: we just haven't made a lot of money for various
Speaker 1: reasons and yet still paying off debt. Like, we still
Speaker 1: found ways that worked for us, which I share all
Speaker 1: throughout the podcast. I won't get into all of it,
Speaker 1: but so that you all know, I had eleven dollars
Speaker 1: in my bank account at one point and you can
Speaker 1: you cash flowed grad school as well through all this. Yes,
Speaker 1: so yeah, you're still you're paying off some debt, but
Speaker 1: you cash flowed grad school. Yeah. But that was another
Speaker 1: bit of a setback. That money we could have thrown
Speaker 1: at debt and been debt free, but we decided in
Speaker 1: the midst of debt payoff, mostly because I there was
Speaker 1: a time it was time limited on when I could
Speaker 1: go back to grad school. Uh. Yeah, we didn't go
Speaker 1: into more debt for it, but it was something that
Speaker 1: kind of delayed and prolonged how long it took to
Speaker 1: pay off debt. Yeah. So our second setback was buying
Speaker 1: a house. We I know, it's like passe to buy
Speaker 1: a house while you're paying off debt, but we were
Speaker 1: living in this tiny duplex that we were so happy
Speaker 1: living in. It was so cheap when we were fine
Speaker 1: with it, and then the landlord calls and he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to turn that into an airbnb, so I
Speaker 1: need you to be out in six weeks and we're like,
Speaker 1: m m okay. So we were looking at other rentals
Speaker 1: and we just in short notice couldn't find something as affordable,
Speaker 1: so we could. You know, there were other rentals, but
Speaker 1: they were the price of a mortgage. And I hear
Speaker 1: the argument that's like, let me buy a house, it's
Speaker 1: the same price as rent. But I think if you
Speaker 1: have the time to look, it's always better to rent
Speaker 1: while you're paying off debt or own your own camper.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, So we had about thirty days to
Speaker 1: find a place, and we decided to buy because we
Speaker 1: didn't want to rent for another year. We knew we
Speaker 1: were going to be debt free soon. This was near
Speaker 1: the end of our journey, but we definitely wanted to buy,
Speaker 1: so we bought our house now. And I think doing
Speaker 1: that was a really great decision for us because it
Speaker 1: made us buy on a budget. Had I been debt free,
Speaker 1: I may have had a higher budget and been able
Speaker 1: to save more for a down payment. But because we
Speaker 1: were in a crunch time, it forced us to buy
Speaker 1: a less expensive house than we otherwise would have. But
Speaker 1: putting all that money towards house, just a down payment,
Speaker 1: like a small down payment that we were able to
Speaker 1: cash loow because we were putting crazy amounts towards our debt.
Speaker 1: H it set us back so much mentally because we
Speaker 1: stopped focusing on one goal and now we had to
Speaker 1: And I'm a big advocate for having one goal. I
Speaker 1: read the One Thing by Gary Keller and so now
Speaker 1: I'm this like one goal advocate, and it it really
Speaker 1: was goal competition. So we put our debt payoff on
Speaker 1: hold for a few months and it set us back, um,
Speaker 1: maybe like a month or two because we were still able,
Speaker 1: we were cash flowing everything and we put a very
Speaker 1: small bound payment. But yeah, mentally it set us back.
Speaker 1: We were just not in the budgeting position or we
Speaker 1: were eating out, so we just put us in a
Speaker 1: different headspace. And similarly for me, just big expenses I
Speaker 1: think I have There's been different points in this journey
Speaker 1: where I feel like we're in a good place and
Speaker 1: then something catastrophic happens with one of our vehicles, and
Speaker 1: thankfully we've had the money outright to pay for those things.
Speaker 1: We have not gone into debt for these big unexpected expenses.
Speaker 1: But it does set us back, or if I could
Speaker 1: put it this way, slowed us down. And I think
Speaker 1: that goes back to the first article that we were
Speaker 1: talking about of expecting those things and anticipating that it
Speaker 1: will take a long time. You know. I I wish
Speaker 1: that I had the story of I paid off my
Speaker 1: debt in two years, But reality is, we don't make
Speaker 1: a lot of money, and there were other things that
Speaker 1: were also important to us, like me getting my master's degree,
Speaker 1: investing now so that in the long run we might
Speaker 1: be able to be a little bit better off and
Speaker 1: be able to live more generously in the future. So
Speaker 1: there isn't I guess the point is that there isn't
Speaker 1: one right way of doing things. And if I can
Speaker 1: give this reminder to anybody listening, the people who have
Speaker 1: crazy debt payoff stories of I paid off a hundred
Speaker 1: seventy dollars in seventeen months, that's because they make a
Speaker 1: crap ton of money. Make no mistake, they are bringing
Speaker 1: in six figures. We have interviewed these people, We have
Speaker 1: talked with these people privately, like that's what's happening. So
Speaker 1: if you are not getting after your debt payoff journey
Speaker 1: as fast as you see people are doing it on Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's probably because your life circumstances are different, not because
Speaker 1: you're failing in some way. Some people are better set
Speaker 1: up in their lives to take massive hacks at debt.
Speaker 1: So it's okay if that's not your situation. Don't let
Speaker 1: that be a reason or an excuse to give up.
Speaker 1: Know that. Yeah, it's taking me five plus years to
Speaker 1: pay off thirty five thousand dollars of student loan debt.
Speaker 1: I'm still doing it. I don't have the two year story,
Speaker 1: but I also don't have the six figure salary. Girl
Speaker 1: preaches everyone should know what's going on behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: and the people, the people with regular incomes that are
Speaker 1: just trying to make ends meet and put more towards debt,
Speaker 1: they're doing this in three, four, five years. Like if
Speaker 1: you're you know, dual income, no kids, you can maybe
Speaker 1: doing in two years like us. But we ha sold
Speaker 1: and I totally believe it's doable. But you just have
Speaker 1: to know you have to be okay and comfortable where
Speaker 1: you are in life and take the hand God's delta
Speaker 1: and go with it. Yeah, you've got to do what
Speaker 1: works for you, but don't use that as an excuse
Speaker 1: to stay where you're at, correct, can keep moving forward.
Speaker 1: I no longer make dollars a year. Praise the Lord. Yeah,
Speaker 1: those nonprofits, man, I don't know how they get away
Speaker 1: with it. That's another story that's about the episode. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that is our encouragement to you, wherever you are right now,
Speaker 1: you can pay off your debt. We won't tell you
Speaker 1: how long it's going to take you. We won't tell
Speaker 1: you how much to put towards it, what percentages, whatever.
Speaker 1: We're not going to tell you what to do. But
Speaker 1: I know that you can pay off your debt if
Speaker 1: you are committed to it, and if you're committed to
Speaker 1: doing the things and all the things we talked about
Speaker 1: in the first article. So and if you buy pay
Speaker 1: Off your Debt for Good now available on Amazon, Kindle, paperback,
Speaker 1: and audio buck And if you were listening to this
Speaker 1: episode on the weekend, it comes out through Sunday evening
Speaker 1: at about four pm Eastern. The book is ninety nine
Speaker 1: cents for the Kindle version. Yeah, that is the lowest
Speaker 1: price it will ever be. And so people still in
Speaker 1: this debt payoff journey, Yes, yeah, people have these twenty
Speaker 1: dollar books. Fifteen books. My books are like because you're
Speaker 1: paying off debt and you just need a little encouragement
Speaker 1: along the way. You don't need to go broke. You
Speaker 1: gotta pay something for him because they are valuable to me.
Speaker 1: But they're quick reads. And yeah it's a quick read.
Speaker 1: You'll get through it very fast, and then you'll be
Speaker 1: able to go through it with the workbook and really
Speaker 1: change your mindset from paying off debt is something I
Speaker 1: have to do to paying off debt is a journey
Speaker 1: that is shaping me for the best of my life,
Speaker 1: not just my financial life, but it is actually shaping
Speaker 1: me as a person, and I'm thankful for that. And
Speaker 1: you will get to that headspace eventually, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: going to try and help you do that. Nice. Speaking
Speaker 1: of books, yes we okay, so we are also reading
Speaker 1: I will Teach You to Be Rich by ramat Safety
Speaker 1: for our book club this month, and we have opportunity
Speaker 1: for you to win a free copy of this book
Speaker 1: by leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher. Screenshot
Speaker 1: that review and email it to Frugal Friends Podcasts at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. And we give one book for every
Speaker 1: five reviews that are submitted to us. So it takes
Speaker 1: all of you to do this for one of one
Speaker 1: of five to win a book, and we'll select those
Speaker 1: winners at the end of the month. Yes, and if
Speaker 1: you want an example of a really great review, this
Speaker 1: one comes to us from tests and says realistic content.
Speaker 1: This is one of my favorite podcasts. Oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: five stars too. You gals are so funny and have
Speaker 1: realistic in all caps content that is relatable and so helpful.
Speaker 1: I love that you cover several topics that I personally
Speaker 1: connect with in my own life. Minimalism, getting out of debt, budgeting, etcetera.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, Tests, thanks Tests. We love talking
Speaker 1: about those things. Thanks for your review, and y'all can
Speaker 1: join us over on the Frugal Friends Facebook community page
Speaker 1: where we have more talks about what we're talking about
Speaker 1: here and see you next week. I Frugal Friends is produced,
Speaker 1: edited and mixed by Eric Syrian Jill. How have you
Speaker 1: decompressed since Nashville? Oh? Are you kidding me? I flew
Speaker 1: right to Kansas City afterwards and worked. I had one
Speaker 1: day home to quick do my laundry, pack up again,
Speaker 1: fly back out, work, came back home. Actually, I was
Speaker 1: supposed to be in Jamaica then this week for work again.
Speaker 1: I know it sounds exotic, but that got canceled and
Speaker 1: I'm real grateful. Normal circumstances, I would have been bummed,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, yeah, no, please, I'd love to stay home.
Speaker 1: How about you? I know you slept in a little
Speaker 1: bit this morning. Oh my gosh. Yeah, um, I really so.
Speaker 1: I decompressed on the plane ride home. Um. When we
Speaker 1: went to Jill and I went to Ramsey Solutions in
Speaker 1: Nashville and we we had a great time. I just
Speaker 1: loved hanging out with you so fun. I loved it
Speaker 1: so much, And being away from my child for two
Speaker 1: nights was not bad either in your own hotel room
Speaker 1: curious Um, But I really had a good time touring
Speaker 1: Ramsey Solutions and hearing a lot from Chris Hogan and
Speaker 1: there are other people. Um. I went in with some
Speaker 1: expectations and they were completely blown in a positive way.
Speaker 1: So that was my view of the event. Yeah, so generous,
Speaker 1: Such a generous and kind group of people, very laid back.
Speaker 1: I think I anticipated a bit a bit more stringent, legalistic,
Speaker 1: but that was just not the case. They believe in
Speaker 1: what they say and they stick to it Like I
Speaker 1: was appalled. I was imagining, all right, we're going to
Speaker 1: get there and like somebody's got a credit card, Um,
Speaker 1: you know that. How did they book all these But
Speaker 1: it was not like they pay in their entire company.
Speaker 1: They got close to a thousand employees and everything they do.
Speaker 1: They just built a whole new building and they paid
Speaker 1: for all of the construction in cash Like that. To me,
Speaker 1: it's not one percent the way that I do things.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great model. You can't go wrong
Speaker 1: with it. But I love that they stick to what
Speaker 1: they say. It's not oh, you guys do this because
Speaker 1: we think you can't handle anything else while we're over
Speaker 1: here doing our own thing. No, they're doing it. They
Speaker 1: are doing what they preach, and I could not admire
Speaker 1: it more for it. Yeah, and when you have an
Speaker 1: organization like that big it comes back to the one
Speaker 1: thing concept. You've got to be focused on one thing
Speaker 1: and that will take you further faster than being about
Speaker 1: several other things. I mean, and we're about several things
Speaker 1: and we're okay, going slow, so that's us. But I
Speaker 1: admire what they're doing. Yeah. Um, and they threw a
Speaker 1: great party. Holy smunks. They throw a generous party. I
Speaker 1: don't need to say anymore. The food was fantastic. I've
Speaker 1: never seen tiny little Tabasco bottles, tiny little Tabasco. How
Speaker 1: many did you take? Actually didn't take anything, said, been there?
Speaker 1: How many would you have taken? Several? He would have
Speaker 1: put He would have taken a cup and filled it
Speaker 1: up with food and taken it back to the hotel.
Speaker 1: You best believe. Oh, no, shame. Yeah. But Chris Brownie
Speaker 1: and I when they were kicking us out, we were
Speaker 1: standing by the oysters and the shrimp just like putting
Speaker 1: them all into our mouth. We were like leaving their
Speaker 1: like chipmunks with our cheeks full of food. I don't
Speaker 1: like oysters enough to do that. Props. Yeah and cut cut,