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Speaker 1: The majority of the way that you talk to yourself

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Speaker 1: is the way your parents talk to you you. So if

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Speaker 1: you don't first recognize that, you're gonna have a really

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Speaker 1: hard time understanding how to get out of whatever you're in. Now,

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Speaker 1: if you had great parents that were super patient and

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Speaker 1: loving and kind and empathetic and didn't you know, jump

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Speaker 1: at you, but held firm boundaries and you know all

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Speaker 1: that stuff, there's chances chance are you have really good

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Speaker 1: healthy self talk and good on you. Me not so much. Hey, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast

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Speaker 1: in the world. Thanks to each and every one of

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Speaker 1: you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm super grateful when we get to have a

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Speaker 1: guest on twice. There's not been many many people that

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Speaker 1: have done that. On Purpose where great at finding a

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Speaker 1: diversity of guests, but there are some people that just

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Speaker 1: blow your mind. You love them, I know that the

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Speaker 1: community responds incredibly well to them, And on top of

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Speaker 1: all of the I love opportunity to get to sit

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Speaker 1: down with them and talk about what they're up to,

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Speaker 1: what's been on their mind, what they've been studying, reflecting,

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Speaker 1: thinking about now Today's guest is someone who came on

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Speaker 1: a couple of years ago and blew our minds his

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Speaker 1: name and someone that you all know is called Zachary Levi,

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Speaker 1: one of the most versatile actors in Hollywood, with critically

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Speaker 1: acclaimed roles in TV, film, and on Broadway. Zach's career

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Speaker 1: catapulted as the lead and fan favorite Chuck in the

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Speaker 1: hit NBC series and Zach demonstrated his range as a

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Speaker 1: Tony Award nominee for Best Actor in a Musical and

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Speaker 1: She Loves Me. His impressive vocals landed him a leading

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Speaker 1: role in the Disney Academy Award nominated Best Original Song,

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Speaker 1: and the list goes on and on. I recently saw

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Speaker 1: him in American Underdog, which I absolutely loved. Shazam was

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Speaker 1: the reason he was on last time. But right now,

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Speaker 1: what Zack's done is that he has created and written

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Speaker 1: his first ever book, and today we get to get

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Speaker 1: to dive into it. We're gonna have it in the

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Speaker 1: caption so you can order it right away. You're going

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Speaker 1: to find it in the links. I'm so excited to

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Speaker 1: talk to my dear friend and awesome human being about

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Speaker 1: his new book, Radical Love, Learning to Accept Yourself and others.

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Speaker 1: Something we all need to do. Zach, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for being on purpose. It's so great to be

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Speaker 1: with you, so happy to be back, so happy to

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Speaker 1: see your face, even if it's virtually like I said,

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Speaker 1: I really I want to hug your neck and see

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Speaker 1: in person, but this will do for now. Yeah, thank

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Speaker 1: you man. No, I appreciate you, man, And I meant

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Speaker 1: it like last time you came on, there was just

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Speaker 1: this beautiful energy in the room. I remember you were

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Speaker 1: like sweating buckets as well. Well, it was warm. The

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Speaker 1: studio was pretty bad studio too. It was our old studio.

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Speaker 1: We're in Studio three point zero now this is the

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Speaker 1: new studio. That studio was not well ventilated. Zach was

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Speaker 1: very passionate. I didn't know how to stop him, to

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Speaker 1: offer him anything because he was so in tune and aligned.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I guess we just have to

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Speaker 1: like sweat together anyway. For you to write a book,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you could have written many things. You could

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Speaker 1: have written in a full autobiography. You could have written

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Speaker 1: about your experiences, which you do of course in the

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Speaker 1: book in a deep way. But you chose to write

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Speaker 1: a book that isn't your name that isn't you know

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Speaker 1: how you view your career. It's about life and you

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Speaker 1: called it radical love. Can you explain to me what

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Speaker 1: radical love looks like is? Because I think love is

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Speaker 1: one of the most underdefined, misunderstood words in the world already,

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Speaker 1: and radical love is taking us in a different direction.

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Speaker 1: Radical love? What does that mean? In some ways, it's

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Speaker 1: not a great title because I think it's a little redundant.

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Speaker 1: I think that love itself is radical when we are

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Speaker 1: practicing actual, true, deep empathetic love, it is a radical concept.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I think what most people would point to,

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's like when I have warm feelings about

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Speaker 1: someone or have warm feelings about myself, I love myself

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Speaker 1: if I have warm feelings about myself or about other people.

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Speaker 1: We've all been kind of programmed with these very romanticized

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Speaker 1: ideas of love and marriage and relationships. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that has anything really to do with the warm fuzzies.

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Speaker 1: I think that it is a recognition of the divinity,

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Speaker 1: the miracle that is another human being, regardless of who

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Speaker 1: that human being is, to love, who loves you is

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Speaker 1: that's that's patty cake, that's maybe that's you know, that's

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Speaker 1: the child's play. To love is to love those who

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Speaker 1: hate you, that you even have these feelings of disagreement

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Speaker 1: or or anger with or whatever. To love your enemy,

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Speaker 1: to pray for your persecutor. That is love. And that's

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Speaker 1: the kind of love that's to me radical love. Again,

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Speaker 1: I say radical because it's radical compared to what most

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Speaker 1: other people's ideas of love is. But really it's just love.

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Speaker 1: That's actually what love is. It's being able to look

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Speaker 1: at whoever is across the aisle of a different political spectrum,

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Speaker 1: a different sex, race, faith, country to country, people group

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Speaker 1: to people group. We are so divided, I mean, are

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Speaker 1: the United States is a really sad example of how

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Speaker 1: much division. I mean, we just straight down the middle

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Speaker 1: on almost every hot topic. We cannot look across the

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Speaker 1: aisle and say I completely disagree with you. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I think that what you're standing for can be very

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Speaker 1: problematic in this world. And yet I still love you.

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Speaker 1: I still think that the reason why you think the

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Speaker 1: things that you think is not because you're evil. It's

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Speaker 1: not because you're somehow this broken, bad person. It's because

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Speaker 1: you are a product of your environment, in the same

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Speaker 1: way that I am a product of my environment. In

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Speaker 1: order to embrace and love myself, I have to first

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Speaker 1: accept that I am a product of the parenting that

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Speaker 1: I received. It's not my fault that I struggle with

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Speaker 1: the things that I struggle with. In order to forgive ourselves,

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Speaker 1: which we all need to do, we have to recognize

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Speaker 1: that we're doing the best that we can with the

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Speaker 1: tools that we have been afforded to us at that

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Speaker 1: point in our lives, and that is the reality, that

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Speaker 1: is the truth. So until we can come to that

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Speaker 1: place as individuals, with ourselves, with other individuals, you know,

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Speaker 1: just in our own lives, and then collectively as a

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Speaker 1: people group, we're just going to keep fighting and fighting

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Speaker 1: and going over this horrible, vicious cycle all the way

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Speaker 1: to the bottom. If we want a better future, we

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Speaker 1: need to be working on more than just saving the environment.

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Speaker 1: Obviously we want we want the world to survive. But

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Speaker 1: what good is a world to live in if we

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Speaker 1: all hate each other in that future? That is not

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Speaker 1: a future that any of us want to be living in.

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Speaker 1: So that to me is kind of you know, what

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Speaker 1: radical love I think stands for. It's to radically accept,

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Speaker 1: radically forgive, and radically love whomever is across the aisle.

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Speaker 1: And that is I understand, a very difficult concept for

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Speaker 1: a lot of people to wrap their head around, because

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Speaker 1: we look at someone doing a bad thing and our

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Speaker 1: initial gut instinct is add evil, wrong, monster. We point

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Speaker 1: the fingers and point the fingers and point the fingers. Now,

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Speaker 1: are the actions that this person are doing? Are those

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Speaker 1: sometimes monstrous, villainous evil? Absolutely, But there's still a five

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Speaker 1: year old child in them that came into this world

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Speaker 1: and had nothing but optimism, nothing but potential, nothing but openness,

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Speaker 1: nothing but love. And then the way that the world

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Speaker 1: ultimately mis misform misfigured them in their heart, in their mind,

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Speaker 1: and their psyche. That is what we have to be

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Speaker 1: paying more attention to and recognizing and then applying an

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Speaker 1: empathy to this person. It is not excusing the evil act.

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Speaker 1: It is instead trying to apply love to those who

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Speaker 1: are doing the evil act, because only then can we

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Speaker 1: redeem those people. I mean, and this is happening on

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Speaker 1: a regular basis. People go to prisons all the time.

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Speaker 1: There are groups of people that see murderers on death

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Speaker 1: row and yet they can still see the human being

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Speaker 1: in them. They say, listen, I what you did was

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Speaker 1: wrong and you're on death row because of what you did.

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Speaker 1: But I am not going to give up on you

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Speaker 1: and the redemption of who you can be in your

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Speaker 1: soul because I see that x y or Z. I

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Speaker 1: saw that you were raised in this type of an environment.

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Speaker 1: You were abused as a child, Your father beat you

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Speaker 1: and put cigarettes out on you. You watched your father

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Speaker 1: or mother or cousin kills someone else. You saw that

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Speaker 1: as a sign of survival. You didn't have enough money

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Speaker 1: to buy food for your family, so you started to steal.

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Speaker 1: And then in order to steal, you needed to protect yourself,

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Speaker 1: you thought, And so you carried a gun. And then

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Speaker 1: somebody tried to stop you from stealing, and you went

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Speaker 1: and shot them. And now you're a murderer. At now

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Speaker 1: none of that excuses the murder, but all of it

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Speaker 1: explains why that murder ended up happening, and if we

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Speaker 1: can do that. And this is where I think Christ

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Speaker 1: was really trying to get to the heart of it.

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Speaker 1: He's like, hey, there is none righteous, not one. There's

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Speaker 1: not one person on this planet that can actually stand

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Speaker 1: above everyone else and cast the stones. He who is

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Speaker 1: without sin cast the first stone. Everyone's like dropping this,

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Speaker 1: that's not me, that's not you, as not anybody you know.

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Speaker 1: And yes, we could probably sit here and hash up like, well,

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Speaker 1: what's a more egregious sin? But they're all sin at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, they're all things that we're

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Speaker 1: all falling short of treating each other as the divine

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Speaker 1: miracle that we are. And people ask me, what about

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Speaker 1: people who don't believe in a spiritual plane or god

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Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, how do you explain to them

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Speaker 1: that they're a miracle? Very easily, we are a mathematical

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Speaker 1: improbability this planet, that it even exists, That we are

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Speaker 1: a perfect distance away from the Sun so that we

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Speaker 1: don't freeze and we don't boil, That we have a

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Speaker 1: moon that is the perfect distance away from us, that

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Speaker 1: allows all of our literally the systems like gravity to

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Speaker 1: even you know, the tides to go in and out,

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Speaker 1: and that we have been as human beings, we've been

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Speaker 1: searching the universe ever since we had the capability. We

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Speaker 1: have been searching the universe trying to find life anywhere else,

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Speaker 1: and we can't find it, and we haven't found it now,

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Speaker 1: even if there is other life universe, we're still a

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Speaker 1: miracle that this place exists. It's still a mathematical miracle.

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Speaker 1: So even if you don't believe in God, even if

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Speaker 1: you have no spiritual proclivity or you know whatever, you

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Speaker 1: can still count yourself as a miracle. And if we

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Speaker 1: can do that, if we can start seeing each other

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Speaker 1: as miracles, if we can see that every blade of grass,

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Speaker 1: every squirrel, every dog, every tree, every everything, anything that

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Speaker 1: possesses actual life, we can create everything else. We can

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Speaker 1: make more computers, we can make more phones, we can

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Speaker 1: make more whatever we need to make. And yes, we

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Speaker 1: can also create more life. We do that on a

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Speaker 1: regular basis. But each one of those lives is unique.

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Speaker 1: Every single one of us comes with a uniqueness that,

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Speaker 1: you know, making another Audie doesn't necessarily come with a uniqueness.

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Speaker 1: You know, we are a miracle. That is what I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to drive to people, and well one of the

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Speaker 1: things I'm trying to drive to people in the book,

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Speaker 1: because I really think that if we can wrap our

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Speaker 1: heads around that, if we can change our perspective and

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Speaker 1: we can start seeing each other even the evil, you know,

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Speaker 1: even the bad, even the monsters, even all these people,

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Speaker 1: and say, okay, yes they are doing bad, but they

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Speaker 1: started they were initially they had all of the promise,

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Speaker 1: and let's have a little empathy with that, Let's have

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Speaker 1: a little grace, let's have a little bit more patience,

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Speaker 1: Let's hold them accountable. And I think that's one of

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Speaker 1: the big disconnects that people have that we're they're afraid

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Speaker 1: that if we start to give people even a little

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Speaker 1: bit of grace, well now we're condoning their behavior. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you can. You can love and not like that. That's

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Speaker 1: another thing I try to get to in the book.

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Speaker 1: Loving is not just this warm feeling. It's not just

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Speaker 1: like times one hundred like is to like. To love

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Speaker 1: is to just accept the divinity, accept the miracle that

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Speaker 1: is across from you. Anyway, there's a rant for you

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Speaker 1: that is there is so much to unpack. The first

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Speaker 1: thing was this difference in responsibility and fault and when

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Speaker 1: it comes to accepting ourselves. I think the reason why

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Speaker 1: we struggle to accept ourselves is because we think that

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Speaker 1: means I have to think it's my fault. And when

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Speaker 1: it becomes my fault, now I become depressed by that idea.

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Speaker 1: It's disempowering, it brings me down. Whereas A Zack said,

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Speaker 1: when you actually go, well, it's not my fault, but

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Speaker 1: it is my responsibility. That's empowering. It gives you a

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Speaker 1: sense of choice and direction and designed. Like you said,

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Speaker 1: our choices today are impacted by the decisions that were

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Speaker 1: made for us when we couldn't make choices or when

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Speaker 1: we didn't have the choice, and so that's the part

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Speaker 1: that's not our fault. But now as we get wiser

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Speaker 1: and older and more mature and more experienced, we now

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Speaker 1: can take that responsibility. So I thought that was a

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Speaker 1: really clear concept. The second thing that I wanted to

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Speaker 1: unpack from what you said, which is really special, was

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Speaker 1: the difference between excluding and explaining. So you were talking

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Speaker 1: about how someone's actions don't exclude them for what's coming

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Speaker 1: for them, but really we need to seek the explanation.

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Speaker 1: We need to understand how they got there. It's the context,

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Speaker 1: the complexity, it's it's one of the reasons why I

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Speaker 1: really appreciate It's why. It's the why, it's the why.

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Speaker 1: It's it's one of the reasons why I appreciated the

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Speaker 1: movie The Joker, because to me, looking at a very

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Speaker 1: fictional character, of course, but you start to recognize that

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Speaker 1: even this villain that we have hated or disliked for

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Speaker 1: so many years. Has a backstory, and often we tell

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Speaker 1: our heroes backstories and origin stories, but we don't tell

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Speaker 1: the villains backstories or origin stories. Running a business is

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Speaker 1: never easy. You might need to oversee a lot of

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Speaker 1: different areas and it can be difficult to manage if

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Speaker 1: you don't have it in one place. Good thing. There's

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Speaker 1: a software company that has developed a cloud based business

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Speaker 1: growing organizations across the globe. The platform consists of a

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Speaker 1: suite of applications that help companies run their business, understand

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Speaker 1: there's a lot to be gained from that because yes,

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Speaker 1: nothing is excluded. Everyone should be held accountable, people should

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Speaker 1: not be allowed to get away with things. But we

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Speaker 1: might be able to reduce this happening in the future

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Speaker 1: if we were to learn how these people are made.

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Speaker 1: And talking about your Audie example, it actually does align

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Speaker 1: because if you and I got an Audie on the

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Speaker 1: same day and it was the same model, but you

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Speaker 1: treated yours badly and I treated mine well, in ten

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Speaker 1: years time, you get to see the exact same difference,

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Speaker 1: and that uniqueness is going to be made by how

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Speaker 1: it's treated. So I just wanted to unpack that for

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Speaker 1: everyone because I think you shared such a breadth of

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Speaker 1: insight there, and I just wanted to pick it a

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Speaker 1: few of those things. So I love that you brought

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Speaker 1: up The Joker because that movie. I was so grateful

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Speaker 1: that it was made because it, to me, was one

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Speaker 1: of the most important movies I had ever seen that

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Speaker 1: dealt with mental health. I was like, how it took

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Speaker 1: a DC. You know, I love that it's DC too,

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Speaker 1: because that's my family. But you know, it took DC

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Speaker 1: this movie about this villain to really highlight the incredibly

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Speaker 1: powerful effects of trauma, like real, horrible trauma and what

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Speaker 1: that does to a human being. There's that saying every

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Speaker 1: villain is the hero of their own story, right or

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Speaker 1: everyone is the hero of their own story, including villains.

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Speaker 1: And one of the coolest things about being an actor

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Speaker 1: is that it's very much based on empathy. You know.

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Speaker 1: The whole idea is that you are looking at something

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Speaker 1: that is outside of you, a character, a person, and

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Speaker 1: you're trying to understand them so that you can bring

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Speaker 1: them to life in an honest way. Now, if you're

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Speaker 1: playing a quote unquote bad guy, well, guess what. Bad

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Speaker 1: guys don't think they're bad guys. Bad guys think that

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Speaker 1: they're doing the right thing, whatever that is. Now, it

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Speaker 1: might be super twisted, it might come from all the

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Speaker 1: wrong places, but their logic has brought them to their

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Speaker 1: because of whatever traumas they've experienced prior to that. There

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Speaker 1: are not a lot of people doing ad in the

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Speaker 1: world that are sitting around twisting their proverbial mustache and

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Speaker 1: being like, Oh, I can't wait to do these bad things. No,

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Speaker 1: it's very hard for us to wrap our head around,

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Speaker 1: but that is the truth. In order to understand why

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Speaker 1: people are doing what they're doing, which is what we,

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Speaker 1: like you're saying, we have to get to the bottom

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Speaker 1: of it. It does not excuse, It explains. Excusing explaining

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Speaker 1: and to explain builds empathy. It helps us to understand

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Speaker 1: why people do what they do, and therefore helps us

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Speaker 1: to hopefully condition them away from doing those things if

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Speaker 1: we can find them early enough. Instead of, you know,

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Speaker 1: let's say you meet somebody and you know that they're

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Speaker 1: about to or thinking about doing this horrible thing. Now,

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Speaker 1: the knee jerk reaction is, oh my god, they're a monster.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe it. No, No, as opposed to oh

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Speaker 1: you are hurting inside. Let's sit down. Let me be

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Speaker 1: a conduit of love in your life so that you

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Speaker 1: don't feel the necessity to go do these You know

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Speaker 1: what if people saw that and said, oh, man, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I think this guy might be very close

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Speaker 1: to going and doing something really bad. And why, oh,

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Speaker 1: because well, look how we's treated at school, Look how

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Speaker 1: we's treated at home. Look hows treated online. They're constantly online,

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Speaker 1: and they're finding themselves rejected even by strangers on the internet.

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Speaker 1: They go on Instagram and they're constantly comparing themselves to

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Speaker 1: the beautiful, perfect lives of everyone there. Comparison is not

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Speaker 1: just the thief of joy. Comparison is literally destroying people's

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Speaker 1: mental health. We have got to be able to get

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Speaker 1: in there, hopefully early before the bad things happen, but

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Speaker 1: then afterwards also we have got to be willing to

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Speaker 1: allow ourselves to be angry, to be frustrated, to be sad,

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Speaker 1: to be all of the things, but then still not

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Speaker 1: allow ourselves to be the dehumanizer. The more we dehumanize

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Speaker 1: all those that are struggling and doing bad things in

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Speaker 1: the world, the more we dehumanize ourselves. We are all

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Speaker 1: cut from the same miraculous cloth. Some of us are

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Speaker 1: just in conditioning that makes them very troubled and doing

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Speaker 1: very rible things. But again, there are people to go

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Speaker 1: to prisons now that are going and seeing the human

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Speaker 1: being even in the murderer, and saying, I refuse to

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Speaker 1: believe that you are a monster. Instead, I will hold

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Speaker 1: you accountable. We will all hold you accountable because that

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Speaker 1: was not what you should have done. But I will

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Speaker 1: still try to do my best to see the human

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Speaker 1: in you. Because before you leave this earth, you should

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Speaker 1: feel that you should know that. And I think that

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Speaker 1: if we do that, we infuse that kind of love,

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Speaker 1: there'll be less and less and less and less and

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Speaker 1: less of this that we ever need to deal with,

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Speaker 1: because people will ultimately be more healed and more whole.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I think that if we can get

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Speaker 1: to everyone there, if we get heal every head, every

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Speaker 1: every heart in every mind in this world, all of

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Speaker 1: our other problems go away. These are the source of

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Speaker 1: all of the rest of the issues, of all the murder,

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Speaker 1: of all the rape, of theft, of all the wars,

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Speaker 1: of all of the greed, the amount of greed that

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Speaker 1: is killing this world right now. All of the CEOs

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Speaker 1: and leaders of industry that all value profit over people,

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Speaker 1: that all value money over what that money is ultimately

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Speaker 1: doing to this world, to the planet, to the animals

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Speaker 1: and the life in it, and we all just kind

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Speaker 1: of rationalize it. We all say, yeah, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean, everybody needs to make money, so I guess

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Speaker 1: I don't know, no, those people. The reason why we

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Speaker 1: all do this is because we are all still afraid

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Speaker 1: that if we don't have enough, we are not enough.

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Speaker 1: And that is one of the greatest lies and the

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Speaker 1: CEO is to get to the tops of these companies. Though,

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Speaker 1: if we can get to them instead of what so

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Speaker 1: many people want to do, which is dehumanize and vilify

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Speaker 1: them and say you're the one percent and you don't care.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe all that is somewhat true on some level,

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Speaker 1: but guess what, They're still also a child of God.

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Speaker 1: They are also still a divine, miraculous life. And I

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Speaker 1: guarantee that if we want to actually help them to

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Speaker 1: change their ways, pointing fingers and yelling at them is

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Speaker 1: not the way to do it. If we want to

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Speaker 1: actually change their hearts, We've we've got to lead with

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Speaker 1: We've got to go to the Jeff bezos Is of

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Speaker 1: the world. And this is hard because I really have

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Speaker 1: big problems with people like, you know, like it's like, dude,

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Speaker 1: you have all the money in the world, Why where's

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Speaker 1: all the altruism? Why can't we give back? Like you

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Speaker 1: can't take it with you? You know, one of one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite quotes, you don't see a U haul

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Speaker 1: in the back of a hearse your grave? Is it?

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Speaker 1: That's all? You know? Now, some of these people I

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Speaker 1: think they think well about I'll be remembered as one

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Speaker 1: of the richest people in the world. No, you won't,

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Speaker 1: not one hundred years from now, not two hundred years,

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Speaker 1: not a thousand years from now. There are emperors that

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Speaker 1: were ruling over massive empires, that that commanded millions and

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Speaker 1: millions of lives, that could literally kill a person in

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Speaker 1: front of God and everyone and do it scot free.

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Speaker 1: Nothing would happen to them at all. Do you know

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Speaker 1: all of their names, because I don't. I don't know

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Speaker 1: all of these people. Nobody does. They're all forgotten. They're

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Speaker 1: all forgotten in the annals of history. Very few of

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Speaker 1: them ever get written down. And if they are written down,

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Speaker 1: it's a little footnote. It's like, oh, yeah, and that

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Speaker 1: person existed, but nothing of really any value. They're not

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Speaker 1: looked at is like, oh, these were the great people

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Speaker 1: of the world. They're not if they're even remembered at all.

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Speaker 1: So if we can get to the ultra the ultra

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Speaker 1: wealthy of the world, these leaders of industry and say hey, hey, hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with going and taking care of yourself,

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Speaker 1: you and yours and making money. Fine, go do it,

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Speaker 1: but don't do it at the expense of other people's lives.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it at the expense of your entire workforce.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it at the expense of the environment. Don't

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Speaker 1: do it at the expense of this miracle of a

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Speaker 1: world that we have. But we can't do that to hate.

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Speaker 1: We can't hate our way to a better future. We

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Speaker 1: can only love our way there. That is the bottom line.

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00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 1: And so and it takes this radical love. We struggle

429
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 1: as human beings to allow two things to exist at

430
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: one time. So the idea, as you said, is you

431
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 1: can love someone but not like what they do. That's

432
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: allowing two opposite, separate ideas to exist at the same time.

433
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: Or the idea that I disagree with this person, but

434
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,360
Speaker 1: I have to connect with them and communicate with them

435
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 1: in a way that will help them shift. And I

436
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 1: may have to be more patient. It may take longer,

437
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: but guess what, if it takes me longer, it will

438
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: probably last longer as well. If you shout at someone,

439
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: they may change their behavior right now, but they will

440
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 1: go back to doing what they were doing a few

441
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: moments later, just like you do with a child. Like

442
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: if you shout at a child and it may stop

443
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 1: playing the video game or whatever. It is because it's scared,

444
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: but then a few moments later, it still wants to

445
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: play the video game. Whereas if a child is engaged

446
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: with and connected with and communicated within educated in what

447
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 1: may be a better use of its time, it just

448
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: starts to transform. And that requires love, and it requires empathy,

449
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: and it requires patience. And I think because we've never

450
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: received that ourselves, we find it so hard to go

451
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 1: out there and give it to others. I mean, in

452
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: the first section of your book, the first chapter, you

453
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,879
Speaker 1: call it stop running when we bring this back, because

454
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: we've talked a lot about like the most big extreme

455
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 1: global macro issues of how this idea cascades across the world.

456
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: But when we look at it, as you said, it

457
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: a start like it starts from us. And so what

458
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: do you think, Za, what are we running from? And

459
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: what are we running towards? Or are we just running nowhere?

460
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 1: You know? In my case, and I think this is

461
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: the case probably for a lot of people, but in

462
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 1: my case, it was running from the pain and I

463
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: didn't even know it. I mean, that's you know, that's

464
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 1: that's part of the tricky thing about this, you know,

465
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 1: like you can give somebody advice that absolutely applies to

466
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 1: their life. But if they don't recognize that they're doing

467
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 1: that thing, they think, no, I'm good. I mean, for

468
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: so long in my life I had been given certain

469
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 1: pieces of advice like maybe do this or maybe do that,

470
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: but in my mind I was I was cool. I

471
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,239
Speaker 1: was like, I get that for somebody else, but for me,

472
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 1: I'm I'm okay. I didn't realize until I had this

473
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: massive breakdown that I had been running away from so

474
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 1: much of what I had been trying to survive. And

475
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: I do think that's pretty applicable to most people. You know,

476
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: as a child, your ego is essential. It is your

477
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 1: survival suit. It it is your life raft. It is

478
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,479
Speaker 1: the thing that protects you from all of the trauma

479
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: that you experience. I mean, it's a thing that you

480
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: know particularly like, not particularly, but using again an extreme example,

481
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 1: there are people that are able to disassociate from themselves

482
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,880
Speaker 1: when they are sexually abused as children, because how else

483
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: is a child supposed to process that. So many of

484
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: these cases, the ego steps in. The ego is there

485
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: to protect the psyche, and it says you're not here

486
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: right now, You're good, You're not here right now you're

487
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 1: somewhere else. This isn't really you. And then that child

488
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 1: learns how to now disassociate. Well, that was great for then,

489
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: but that becomes a massive problem later on in life

490
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: if you don't ultimately heal from that, if you don't

491
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 1: learn that that's what you're doing and heal from that.

492
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 1: So the ego ultimately is this incredible gift, but that

493
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 1: becomes an incredible hindrance. It becomes an incredible weight on us.

494
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: You know, in the in the book, I talk about

495
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: it's almost like this exoskeleton or this you know, this

496
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: suit of armor. It's this incredible thing. You're walking around

497
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: and people are swinging clubs and things at you, and

498
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 1: it's the armor is taking all the hits, but the

499
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 1: armor is getting dented and chinked and cut up, and

500
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: you know, so you end up walking around by the

501
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: time you're thirty five years old, if you're still depending

502
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 1: on this suit of armor, you don't realize how malformed

503
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 1: you are. You think you're walking smooth and straight, but

504
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: you're really with a limp and you're doing this all

505
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: because you're stuck in this contorted armor and that armor

506
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: is only supposed to service up to that point, and

507
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: then you know, we can argue or are you a

508
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,159
Speaker 1: debate about you know, some people, you know, they like

509
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: to use wording like, you know, death to the ego

510
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: or kill the ego, and other people are like, no,

511
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: befriend the ego or whatever that is, however you want

512
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,239
Speaker 1: to word it. I think at the end of the day,

513
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 1: it's something that we all need to realize as a

514
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 1: beautiful necessity in our lives as we are children particularly,

515
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: and then eventually it does not serve us in a

516
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 1: positive way that it once did, and ultimately being grateful

517
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: for it, but allowing it to not be the armor

518
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: that we need anymore, because we are doing the work

519
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: on healing ourselves and enlightening ourselves so that when things

520
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: do come at us, we're able to evade. We're able

521
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 1: to you know, judo them by us. We're not just

522
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: hitting they're not hitting us anymore because we're we're now

523
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 1: more mature in our thought process and in our feelings.

524
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: I was constantly running because I was constantly trying to

525
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: survive as a child. I didn't realize just how traumatic

526
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: it was to me. You know, like, if you're growing

527
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 1: up in chaos, you just kind of assume that's normal,

528
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: that the standard is what it is. If you don't

529
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 1: grow up in chaos, you assume that's normal. Now, I thought,

530
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: when I would go to normal you know, friends, homes

531
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: and things, I just assumed, well, people are putting on

532
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: errs or they're putting on appearances. But when I'm not here,

533
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: it gets crazy, Like it gets crazy at my house,

534
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: not realizing that I was really in a massive, massive

535
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: survival mode, I mean, my sympathetic nervous system, even to

536
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 1: this day. I mean, it's something that I have to

537
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: work on very constantly because we want to be in

538
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: our parasympathetic We want to be in a relaxed rest

539
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: and digest in a mode most of the time. We

540
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: don't want to be in this again, incredible gift that

541
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 1: our bodies were given, which is the sympathetic, which is

542
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: to survive, which is to run away from the sabertooth tiger,

543
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: which is to not be killed by a trampling elephant,

544
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: or or you know, go running, going and running after

545
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: an antelope to go hunt it and bring it back

546
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: to your camp. These are all things that we are

547
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 1: our bodies evolutionarily have these beautiful, amazing gifts, but they're

548
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: constantly activated now, almost more than ever, because survival is

549
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: no longer running away from the beast, or chasing the

550
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: thing to hunt, or getting out of you know, the elements.

551
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: We all have a roof, not all of us, but

552
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: a lot of the world, more than ever before in humanistry,

553
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: have some kind of a roof over their head, some

554
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: kind of clothes on their backs, some kind of food

555
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: in their stomach. And survival has now become money because

556
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: money can pay for all of those things, and so

557
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: our pursuit, all of our collective pursuit for more of

558
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: this is keeping us all engaged in this survival mode.

559
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: And I was running from all of that, trying to

560
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: survive and then running two. Where do I find my worth?

561
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: Where do I find my identity? Where do I find

562
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: these other things that ultimately give me this purpose and

563
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: this worth? And how do I survive now in this

564
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: other world? So that's where I ran from, and that's

565
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 1: where I ran too, And ultimately all of that is

566
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: really unhealthy because you need to be able to sit

567
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: with yourself and recognize that nothing gives you worth or

568
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: value outside of the fact that you are, that you

569
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: are here the fact that you are alive means that

570
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: you are a miracle. If that alone, if we could

571
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: get people to the point of recognizing that holy crap,

572
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: that should be enough, hopefully to be able to say,

573
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: I love myself. I can't believe what a lucky thing

574
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,200
Speaker 1: that I got. I'm here, I'm in this existence that

575
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: will hopefully help us to stop running from things and

576
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: sit and be present. I think the challenge I see

577
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,959
Speaker 1: that people have, as you address in this book, and

578
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 1: that's why I really appreciate what you've done with this book.

579
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: Like Zach talks about like how to get help, how

580
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: to be open, how to share your story right like,

581
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: the book is a systematic approach in the journey that

582
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 1: we're talking about in this very macro way today, because

583
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: the book lays out the steps that you have to

584
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: take to If anyone's listening to us right now and

585
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: going like that's what I want to do, that's what

586
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: I want to figure out, the book actually walks you

587
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: through that journey, and Zach, I want to ask you

588
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: this question because I feel like that journey, as you

589
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: said at the beginning, to radical love, often feel so

590
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: far away because we haven't been trained that way. We

591
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: have an experience that we didn't see, that we didn't

592
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: have access to that growing up. What's the first step?

593
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: If radical love is the step, what's the first step

594
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 1: in that journey that people could take today, tomorrow, this

595
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: year in their life that makes them feel like they're

596
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: on that journey. Because what we both also know is

597
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: that if you try and imitate radical love, or if

598
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: you try and pretend to practice radical love, that can

599
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: actually be detrimental to yourself and others because it's just

600
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: it's not real, right, So I want to hear about

601
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: that from you. Inauthentic anything is the opposite of the thing.

602
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: So if we're trying to put on love, if it's

603
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: not authentic, it's not love, particularly love. There's a lot

604
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 1: there are actually some other things that you could do

605
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: a proxy version of that. You can. Maybe you're not

606
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: totally screwing things up, but if you are, if you

607
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: think you're providing love, if you're loving, you think you're

608
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: loving yourself. I mean, like like my own journey, I

609
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: thought I was loving myself, but that was inauthentic love

610
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: because I was still berating myself unbeknounced to me, I

611
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: was still all my self talk was the same self talk,

612
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: though it was the same talk that I got from

613
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: my parents. My parents, the majority of the way that

614
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: you talk to yourself is the way your parents talk

615
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: to you. So if you don't first recognize that, you're

616
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 1: gonna have a really hard time understanding how to get

617
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: out of whatever you're in. Now, if you had great

618
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: parents that were super patient and loving and kind and

619
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: empathetic and didn't you know, jump at you, but held

620
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: firm boundaries and you know all that stuff, there's chances,

621
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: chids are you have really good healthy self talk and

622
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: good on you. Me not so much. I had. I didn't.

623
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: I didn't know that and then I figured it out

624
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: and I still work on it. But it's a thing

625
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: that you know. Now that I'm aware of the traps

626
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: that I fall into. Now I'm able to go, oh, Zach,

627
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: you're doing it again. You're doing that thing, and you

628
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: know this is how you end up winding yourself back down. So,

629
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 1: but going back to your question, what is the first step,

630
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: The first step has got to be recognizing that you

631
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: have a problem, right like that is that's the age old,

632
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 1: that's the adage. You know, the first step in fixing

633
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: a problem is recognizing that you have a problem. Now,

634
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 1: that can be very difficult for people. You can't force

635
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: people to do that. That's got to be something that

636
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 1: comes because they recognize the necessity. Now, in my case,

637
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: I had a complete mental breakdown, and so I knew

638
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what else to do. Clearly I have

639
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: a problem if I don't want to live anymore. So

640
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: I have got to go try and figure that out. Now,

641
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,719
Speaker 1: that was step one, Step two. Now, by the way,

642
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: not everybody has to come to that dire of a conclusion.

643
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: Hopefully nobody does. Hopefully we're able to recognize these things

644
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: far earlier in life. Beyond that, the step is, you

645
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: gotta talk. You got to talk about it. You got

646
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: to start with one of your closest friends or closest friends,

647
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: start with your family if they're the closest to you.

648
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: Get some of it out. Say I am struggling, I

649
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm struggling with. I'm embarrassed whatever. Guess what,

650
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: there's no reason to be embarrassed. There's no reason to

651
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: be scared because everybody, everyone, without fail, There is not

652
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: one person on this earth that hasn't dealt with even

653
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 1: the best parents and people still deal with some form

654
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: of stress, anxiety, depression, you name it. There is something

655
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: there so everyone can relate to this. Ultimately, we're all afraid.

656
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 1: It's getting better, which is great, it's getting less stigmatized

657
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: as the more we do things like this and talk

658
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 1: about it. But everyone still has these reservations and fears

659
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: because nobody wants to feel like they're broken. Nobody wants

660
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 1: to feel like everybody else is good. But I'm somehow

661
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: struggling and I don't know how, and we all feel

662
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: like we're uniquely broken. We feel like, well, clearly, no

663
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: one has felt the way that I feel. No one

664
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: has gone through this exact thing, And I am here

665
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: to say that is also a lie because the world

666
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: is really, really old, and there have been billions and

667
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: billions of people who have lived on this earth, and

668
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,760
Speaker 1: even if they lived in a completely different time, guess

669
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: what they have still struggled with the exact same problems,

670
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: slightly different details, exact same problems. So talking about it,

671
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 1: getting it out, you have got to acknowled knowledge that

672
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: there's a problem. Talk about that, but immediately as soon

673
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: as you can go to a professional, don't don't have

674
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: your friends and family. Don't allow them to be this

675
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: kind of end all of where you get your advice

676
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: and your wisdom, because as try as they might, they

677
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: all have biased They all have agenda, even bias, an

678
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 1: agenda that they're unaware of, not even bias agenda like well,

679
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take advantage of This's like, hey, I have

680
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,879
Speaker 1: a certain idea of who I think you ought to be,

681
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: so I'm going to give you advice when it comes

682
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:32,240
Speaker 1: to directing you in that way. Whereas a disinterested, unbiased,

683
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 1: unagenda third party. I mean, I guess the only bias

684
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: or agenda they would have a professional therapist is that

685
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: they get paid to do it, So I suppose you

686
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: could say that. But outside of that, I mean, and

687
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: they should because it's a service, it's a job, and

688
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: by the way, it's one of the most valuable, so

689
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: it's so worth the money. Although I do think all

690
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,280
Speaker 1: of that needs to be worked out too that really

691
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that we can keep pushing toward getting mental

692
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 1: health services and information and education to people on much

693
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: more reduced rates, if not entirely free. I wish that

694
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 1: there were clinics that people could just walk into right

695
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 1: off the street and be like, hey, I'm struggling. I

696
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 1: need to talk to somebody. I need somebody this kind

697
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: of like help click this back into reality. What a

698
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: beautiful world that will be. But until that day very

699
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: worth whatever, you know, the money I believe of an

700
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: investment in yourself. So that's the first step. I really

701
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: truly believe you got to You gotta acknowledge it, you

702
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: got to talk about it. And then within that, now

703
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 1: you have someone who is guiding you to the various

704
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: other steps. Because the other steps, though some of them

705
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: are kind of universal, some of them are not. Not

706
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: Not every person needs to do X, and not every

707
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: person needs to do why, And even the people that

708
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 1: need to do both don't necessarily have to do them

709
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: or should do them in that order. You know, it

710
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:55,439
Speaker 1: all depends on what your particular personal journey has been

711
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 1: in your life with your traumas, how they came about,

712
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 1: how they're manifesting in your life now, how you happen

713
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: to be struggling or not struggling with them, or don't

714
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: think you're struggling with them. You know, all of that

715
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: can really you know, with a license professional, somebody really

716
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: understands these things. It was studied this stuff. They can

717
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: guide you through the rest. But so that that's what

718
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 1: I would tell anybody out there, do yourself the service

719
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: in the favor and go lug yourself first and foremost

720
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: by investing in a therapist and being able to talk

721
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: about and just get out what it is you need

722
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 1: to talk about. I love that, Zach. I mean, I'm

723
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: sure everyone can hear your passion, your drive, the amount

724
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: of like. And it was the same last time, like

725
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: even last time. I remember there was this one clip

726
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 1: we had and you just went empathy, empathy, empathy, empathy, empathy, empathy,

727
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 1: and he said empathy like thirty times. And even today

728
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: I've heard you say radical love, you know, And it's

729
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 1: the message you're asking us to do is hard but necessary.

730
00:37:54,200 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: It's challenging but real. It's pushing us because that's the

731
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: only way we get to our truer selves. And you

732
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,800
Speaker 1: can see that in you that it's a it's a plea,

733
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,720
Speaker 1: like you're almost plea pleading with us to say please

734
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 1: do this. You know. It's not even it's not a direction,

735
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 1: it's not preaching, it's not pushing, it's pleading. Uh. And

736
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you to you for

737
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: your energy, for the time to put this book together,

738
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: for just just your ability to speak the truth so emphatically,

739
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 1: and you know, with so much, with so much not confidence,

740
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: that's that's actually an understatement, but but with depth, right,

741
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: there's a there's a real depth behind these thoughts. And

742
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, man, I really do, because it's it's

743
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: so much harder to talk about the things that you're

744
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: choosing to talk about than than the software version of

745
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: a lot of these ideas. So I appreciate you. I'm

746
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: grateful for you. I'm recommending to everyone, please, please please

747
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: go and grab a copy of the book Radical Love,

748
00:38:55,600 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: Learning to Accept Yourself and others. Like I said today, hey,

749
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: Zach's taking us on a journey of really understanding the

750
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:08,320
Speaker 1: concepts and ideas as these big principles. But the book

751
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: really goes into his journey, his story, the experiences he

752
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 1: went to be on the brink of that position of

753
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:19,439
Speaker 1: breaking down and falling apart, and then guides you through

754
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: this step to step journey, whether it's overcoming your ego,

755
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 1: whether it's loving yourself. So please do go and grab

756
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 1: a copy of Radical Love, Zach. I'm grateful I can't

757
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 1: wait to catch up with you, hang out with you.

758
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: I miss you, and I'm wishing you all the best

759
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 1: for the book tour. I hope he goes exceptionally well

760
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: and I'm really excited to reconnect man. Thank you so much,

761
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, bless you, love and appreciate you

762
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: so much. And I hope that I get to see

763
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 1: you and your wonderful wife in La or wherever we

764
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: get to connect somewhere in the world. Absolutely, thank you, man.

765
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: Have a wonderful evening. Thank you for doing this at

766
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: your time. I'm sure it's pretty late there too, so nah,

767
00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: I'm good. Totally worth it. Great seeing you. Thank you,

768
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: litt