1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here, Nicky, hello here, I am 2 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. I'm gonna 3 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: turn down my welcome to the show. You guys. It's 4 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer. It's Monday. Um joining us today in this 5 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: special episode is on your Marina from New York. Noah 6 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: is an Arizona, which is also a city in Arizona. 7 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: We found that out from Brian Fanday last week and 8 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: today from the streets of Brooklyn, Um walking his carry 9 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: on luggage with a cigarette in his mouth and a 10 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: tie around his neck. He's wearing the same alpity war 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: lesson night. I don't even know that he changed out 12 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: of it because his tie is still tied professionally, like 13 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: he is a sloppy senator. It is Ian Finance, actually loopy, 14 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: all Ian. You look great, Hey Finance. Hi, thank you? Right, 15 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: so excited. I wore my suit because I spent a 16 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: lot of money on it and I'm never taking it off. Yeah, 17 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: you went to jose Banks yesterday, right, which they used 18 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: to joke that that show you go like and you 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: just get seven suits and they can all be dish rags. 20 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: People like on SNL there was there was an SNL 21 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: where like you buy seven suits and they're like cleaning 22 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: up spills with them. It's a great suit. God, damn it, right, 23 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: isn't it? You looked fantastic. I wouldn't know the difference 24 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: between that and a nice suit, Like it looked nice 25 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: to me? It was great. And you bought a tie. 26 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: You looked so spiffy. And Last Night, of Course was 27 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: the Mark Twain Prize Award for Humor that was presented 28 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,320 Speaker 1: to Adam Sandler and it was in Washington, d C. 29 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: My boyfriend Chris Convey was the show runner for it, 30 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: so I got a special invite, um to go watch it. 31 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: I didn't have to do any work. I didn't have 32 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: to present or do anything, not that they asked me, 33 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: but um, it was nice to the night off and 34 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: just go to an event. And um I had a 35 00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: plus one? And why did you chog? Why? Great question? 36 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: I was like, do I ask I knew on you? What? Yeah? 37 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: Do you want to answer? Why you think I chose you? Well? 38 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: Can you not frame it in a why would you choose? Ian? Yeah? 39 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:19,399 Speaker 1: There was there was why judgment? Yeah, why would said why? 40 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: A lot of friends I would like to know a 41 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: lot more famous friends. UM no, no, I don't actually 42 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: and you. UM. It's an interesting story how Ian came 43 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: to even go to this because he, first of all, 44 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,799 Speaker 1: he's one of the first person that people I thought of. 45 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 1: Because I was like, okay, it was last minute, it's 46 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: in DC. I was gonna have to like probably get 47 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,839 Speaker 1: whoever's I was probably gonna fly my friend there put 48 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 1: them up, and so I was thinking of people from 49 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 1: New York that were wanted to go, and then I 50 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: was like, there's no one really in New York that 51 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: I definitely want to go to this with me, and 52 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: it would be kind of like, I don't know. And 53 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: then I see it's almost like my phone read my mind. 54 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: Ian up a post that he's like in Arlington, Virginia, 55 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: DC all weekend, and I saw his shows were until Saturday, 56 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: and I texted him, I go, are you in DC 57 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: on Sunday? He's like, I go back Saturday, and I go, 58 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: what about Sunday? You go with me the Mark Twain 59 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: Prize for Humor for Adam Sandler at the Kennedy Center. 60 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: And he was like, oh my god, that sounds amazing. 61 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: And then I was like I had to ask Chris like, 62 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 1: because Chris was like, do you think you have a 63 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: friend that would we're want to go? And I was like, 64 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: I have a friend that wants to go, Canny go 65 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: and he's like, let me make sure. So it was 66 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: a little bit of waiting and then I finally said, yes, Ian, 67 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: you're going with me? And he was like, I don't know, man, 68 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: and then he tried to back out right. And I 69 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: want to like read our conversation because it was an 70 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: interesting I think a lot of people can learn from this. 71 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, I think it's a good life lesson. This 72 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: is a hip of violation, like he's your therapist. This 73 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: does feel no. I think people are going to learn 74 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: from this. Um okay, I said, I go. Chris said 75 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: it's looking good, and he goes, oh, and then I 76 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: said and then a couple hours ago, I said, you're 77 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: good to go, but the red carpet can't happen. I'm sorry. 78 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: I could barely get on it. He said, Lol, So 79 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: what do I do? Sit in a cage? I said, 80 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: I totally get if you don't want to go, but 81 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: I think it'll be fun. We have good seats, really 82 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: good seats. You gotta go. He goes and I don't know. Man, 83 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm kind of feeling anxious about it, about 84 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 1: being alone with like a ton of celebrities and people 85 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: I've grown up watching and I'm just some guy who 86 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: no one knows. Lol, you know what I mean. And 87 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: then I'm gonna be a needy friend LLL. I think 88 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: we all relate to that feeling. Yeah, right, yes, I like, 89 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to go because I'm going to be 90 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 1: not important there. There's gonna be people that are like, 91 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,239 Speaker 1: I hate going to these things. I always feel smaller. 92 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: I'd always feel Even when I went to the Critic's 93 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: Choice Awards and I was nominated, I was like, why 94 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: am I here? Everyone's a big star. Also, this is 95 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: all like fake and who cares? And it depressed me. 96 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 1: So I get it. And I used to get invited 97 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,600 Speaker 1: to this ship all the time. When Amy started becoming 98 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: super duper famous, she would invite me to premieres of 99 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: stuff and and it was overwhelming. I didn't have like 100 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: nice clothes, I didn't have stylists, I didn't have hair 101 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: and makeup, and I was just like, I can't go 102 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: to these events. I can't like mingle with Lebron James 103 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: and Goldie Hawn and all these people that I met 104 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: through there. But I always went because I knew that 105 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,559 Speaker 1: I would regret not going more than anything that could happen. 106 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: And so I wrote to Ian. I said, okay, but 107 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: why would you turn this fun down? I said, because 108 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: you don't deserve to be around them. He said, L 109 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: O L yes, I said, And this is the moment 110 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: I said, Okay, well, then don't blame anyone but yourself 111 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,479 Speaker 1: when you aren't as successful as you want to be. Oooom, 112 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: truth dropped by like it's true, because I go, okay, well, 113 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm never gonna listen to Ian bitch 114 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: about anything about his career ever if he's turning down 115 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: this huge opportunity to be amongst the people that he 116 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: should be amongst. You know. And by the way, if 117 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: you get invited to something, unless you're sneaking in and 118 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: jumping a fence and posing as a cater waiter to 119 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: like get in, you deserve to be there. You got 120 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: an invite, so by means of me inviting you equals 121 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: you deserve to be there. Ian is dancing right now 122 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: as he finishes his cigarette. The last man in America 123 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: who smokes Yeah, and I'm not going to stop. We don't. 124 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: We don't want you to know. It's like, yeah, that 125 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:32,679 Speaker 1: connection's perfect. Um, so yeah, I mean we all relate 126 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: to this feeling. But it really did make me realize 127 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: and I was talking to myself to like, I can't 128 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 1: bitch about things that don't happen for me when I 129 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 1: don't audition for I get auditions and then I don't 130 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 1: do it, or I turn down things, or I you know, 131 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: I just like pussy out of stuff because so much 132 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 1: of this career is doing stuff you're scared of, and 133 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: you're scared, so it means run into it. What was 134 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: it like to get that text? Ian? Like, what range 135 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: of emotions were you feeling. I'd love to hang with Nick. 136 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,160 Speaker 1: That's a good time, but I don't know. It's like 137 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: all these celebrities and I've like worshiped Sandler and his 138 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 1: friends and seeing all their movies and I know all 139 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: these guys, and I just always feel less than when 140 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable, especially like with industry people, where like 141 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: I can't be friends with like agents or bookers because 142 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: I feel like it's like, yeah, ultimately, I like want 143 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: something from you, and I don't want to be friends 144 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: with someone if there's that like thing in my mind. 145 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: So I didn't want to be a tel. You go 146 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: the rod with a towel. There had to be a 147 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: moment where you were intimidated by a twel and we're 148 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: like he asked you to hang out and you were like, 149 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to it's gonna be too weird. And 150 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: look at you now, you know, like yeah, yeah, no, 151 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,440 Speaker 1: have to get over eat. He started calling me and 152 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: was like, hey, you want to go eat And I 153 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: was like I don't think I should. I don't deserve 154 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: you know. And then it's like whatever. But obviously, like everyone, 155 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: not just people in our you know, industry, can get 156 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: in our own way, and I think, like I'll let 157 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: anxiety and year in future trooping getting a way of 158 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: Like all I had to do was go and just 159 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: have a fun time. It wasn't like I wasn't like 160 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: going there to try to get something out of it, 161 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: Like it was just a thing to like, dude, I'm 162 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: gonna go and have fun. But I was just nervous 163 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: about being like alone or like you know, everybody knows 164 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: and loves you, And then I would just stand there 165 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: like hello. Like my joke was like going up to 166 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: people and being like, Hi, yes, I have a podcast, 167 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: please interview me. But there's kind of something nice about 168 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 1: like everyone of the if you looked around, there was 169 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: maybe point zero two percent of people were famous in 170 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: that point point two percent of people. Yea, thousands of 171 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: people were actually yeah, there was no one recognizable. So 172 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: it wasn't like you were at the Oscars at the 173 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: exclusive after party there was most people were not comedians. 174 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: It was like Washington DC types I don't even know. 175 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: There was a lot of seat fillers. Yeah, and the 176 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: people that I talked to that were like famous or whatever, 177 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: we're like kind to me and nice. It was like 178 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: totally fine. I just always feel weird being around people 179 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: that I don't know, let alone people that I know 180 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 1: about debate. I know and it just makes it pains 181 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: me to hear that because I relate to it. But 182 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: I'm also like, this is going to stand in your 183 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: way so much to be successful, because you have to 184 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: be delusional. If you learned, if we learned anything last 185 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 1: night from the Mark Twain Prize for Humor for Adam Sandler, 186 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: let me just tell you what it is. Adam Sandler 187 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: is as successful as he is because a he works hard, 188 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,559 Speaker 1: but a bee, which is a huge bee, like almost 189 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: as big as a He had confidence. Why did he 190 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: have confidence because his whole family, he was never bullied 191 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: by any of his He had brothers and sisters. They 192 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: all showered him with like you are the best. His 193 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: mom still says, like you're the best short stuff that 194 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: ever could have been. He's never he doesn't play baseball, 195 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: and she's like, well, you just and practice enough, you 196 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: could have been. You could be anything you want to 197 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,719 Speaker 1: be if you practice hard enough. And he was instilled 198 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: with that. He said, I mean, it was the theme 199 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: throughout the night. And then he finally gets on stage 200 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: at the end of the night. And you'll see this 201 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: on CNN on Sunday if you watch the Mark Twain 202 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,959 Speaker 1: is so good. But if you watch it, he pretty 203 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: much gets to the end end of it and he 204 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: delivers his speech. After all these people have made fun 205 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: of like this guy got so far with no talent 206 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: and like just doing like shoo boo boo and like 207 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: you know, like just being a goofball and wearing basketball 208 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 1: shorts and not trying. But it's like he had confidence, 209 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 1: and he even said it. He was like, my brother 210 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: would be like, you're the funniest guy ever. You need 211 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: to do comedy. His brother went to go see him 212 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: for the first time to do comedy and he bombed. 213 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: He was like, I think I bombed and his brother's like, no, 214 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 1: you killed. Man. He goes, oh, I guess I killed, 215 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 1: and his brotherly convinced him he killed, so he was 216 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: able to go do it again. And if you don't 217 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 1: have that in your life, which most people don't, you 218 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: gotta fucking find a way to get that delusional kind 219 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: of confidence. And most comedians do have it. Your mom 220 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: gave you a lot of that ian you do have it. Well, 221 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: you can't say confidence without saying confidance and name and no. 222 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: I mean like a big part of everything is fake 223 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: it till you make it and just act as if 224 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: and it's it's just a difficult thing no matter what. 225 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: Because Adam Sandler used to be that. But he I 226 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: bet Adam Sandler wouldn't blink about getting an invite to 227 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: these things, And by the way, I would have blinked too. 228 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: I would have been like, I shouldn't go. But I'm like, 229 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: if I lived life like Adam Sandler and just said 230 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: yes to everything and felt like people need to hear 231 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: what I have to say. And there was some comedian 232 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: I was reading about recently who if the crowd didn't laugh, 233 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: they would he would be like, they just don't get it, man, 234 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: that sucks. They don't get it. Whereas I go, even 235 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: when they do laugh, I go, they they I tricked them. 236 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:56,719 Speaker 1: They they they're stupid. They don't they like but to 237 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: beat have the goal of a comedian and be like 238 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 1: if you bomb, to put that on them, of like 239 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: you guys just don't get me is a level of 240 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: sociopathy I do not want to have. But there's a 241 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: there's a medium. There's a good medium to have of 242 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: like not thinking that you're tricking everyone because you're not. 243 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: I mean, that's ridiculous, but also to not to not 244 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: be like cocky and um but I kind of wish 245 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: I did have that a little bit of like, but 246 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: I must anyone who um ian's going through the NASA 247 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 1: training program to buy the space station apparently any it 248 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: sounds like you're going through eighteen different like air chambers, 249 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: a metal harness. He's clipping on himself. Sound like that, 250 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: Um I hope. I hope you go the way of 251 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 1: the challenger. I am confidence in you. I do. I 252 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: really think you could. You could beat at those O 253 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: rings that weren't attacked properly. I think you something about 254 00:12:53,880 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: you being on board. It'll I hope you later anyway, 255 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: But I did that text from Nikki inspire you to go? 256 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: Did it turn your around to make you go? Yeah? Yeah? 257 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 1: And I like talk to some friends and stuff, like 258 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 1: I was with racing and I was like, dude, I 259 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: just feel like my weird like I don't belong, you know, 260 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: like I don't like I feel like a like a weirdo. 261 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: I don't ever want to be like a try hard 262 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: or like like God like in search myself into things 263 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 1: that I don't belong and I I just, uh, I 264 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 1: don't know. But it was nice. I'm saying if you 265 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 1: were like I asked, it was almost in searching to me. 266 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: I I like, it's not that serious. I can make 267 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: a mountain out of a mole hill and I can 268 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: be like, yes, this is let me overthink everything. And 269 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: it was like no, I just got out of my way. Okay, 270 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 1: So then Ian fucking have fun. You know, he decides 271 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 1: to go and he embraces it. He goes up and 272 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 1: gets a suit. I fucking loved him for it. He 273 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: gets me a thank you card, he got me flat hours. 274 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: He comes in, he gets a cigarette case, he gets 275 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: a little cigarette extender thing that they were in the 276 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 1: nineteen twenties that like earlier. And then um oh he 277 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: was I didn't even see that. Uh. And then he 278 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: also got a cane, a new cane called a Pippie 279 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 1: cane because the cat's name was Pippie or something. There's 280 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: a cat on it. He's telling that story all night. 281 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: No one, No one cared. No Ian looked fucking great 282 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: and was just such a good sport and came in 283 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 1: and was like he came to my hotel room. Chris 284 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 1: was staying at the Four Seasons, which was so nice. 285 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: By the way, I saw Jennifer Anniston as I was 286 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: checking in yesterday. I thought this was gonna be the 287 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: weekend I met Jennifer Anniston. It's been a big build up. 288 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: This is like one of my last celebrities on my 289 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: you know, Obama and Jennifer Anston are like the two 290 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 1: left that I'm like, those are my biggies. And I 291 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: thought this was gonna be the weekend. It wasn't, but 292 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: I did see her in the flesh for the first time, 293 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: both at the award but also walking into the I 294 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: went to go get Starbucks and I was coming back 295 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: to the Four Seasons and she was coming in and 296 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: I saw her like she had her bag on the 297 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: ground by the valet and she was like looking through 298 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: it and I saw her gorgeous golden locks, and then 299 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 1: she stood up and she was a tiny person. She 300 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: was like five one. I was very very short. I 301 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: was because so many like actors and like big, bigger 302 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 1: like movie stars and stuff, are short, and I'm a 303 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: short guy. So that, yeah, that does feel good. She's 304 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: a woman though, so it kind of works. But um oh, 305 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: I'm kidding, people are gonna be number mine. I won't 306 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: say what people are gonna say because I'll just let 307 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: them say it anyway. So, um, I saw Jennifer instant. 308 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: And then I was at four the four Season, which 309 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: was such a nice hotel. It's just like the place. 310 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: There were paparazzi up front all day because there was 311 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: a sports seam there the night before. There's a basketball team, 312 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 1: a bunch of famous people, and then what are you 313 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 1: laughing at No. It was funny because at the end 314 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: of the night we were hanging out and there were 315 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: some sports you're checking in and Nicki was sticking her 316 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 1: face or like this gap in the wall and was like, 317 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: what sport are you? Sport are you? Because we were like, 318 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 1: are they a basketball team or a football team? But 319 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: it's clearly football is not in season and there were 320 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: no black guys, so it is a hockey team. So 321 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 1: I just kept yelling what sport and you couldn't see me. 322 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: My head was like through the slats. There was like 323 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: it was this slatted wall that separated the bar and 324 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: restaurant from the hotel lobby. So anyway, I've got to 325 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: go to break, but I'm going to talk about how 326 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: Ian came in like a wrecking ball to my hotel room, 327 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 1: and then we have a story of the aftermath. Ian. 328 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: It's so funny, and we'll talk about our night and 329 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: all the celebrit was so exciting when we get back 330 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: right over this, All right, we're back with Ian Finance 331 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: from the hit podcast b and Ian. He also has 332 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 1: a Patreon for that show or no sorry, what is 333 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: it called? Being in with Jordan? With Jordan being in 334 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,880 Speaker 1: with Jordan. Oh my gosh, Jordan is so freaking funny. 335 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 1: What's Jordan's last name again, Jens Jensen. I knew it, 336 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: said at the same time as you. Yeah, she is 337 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:20,359 Speaker 1: so funny. Um, and I'm attracted to her me too. Whoa, Okay, 338 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 1: she was raised by two women and she just has 339 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 1: and she's strange. She has a masculine quality, but she 340 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: just has this confidence and like I love her eyes, 341 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: her face. Yea, you look like her, that's it. Oh 342 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: my god, she's just I think she's so pretty and 343 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,440 Speaker 1: just has a cool vibe. She's so cool. I haven't 344 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,879 Speaker 1: met her in person yet. I saw her at the 345 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 1: seller one time, and obviously I knew who she was, 346 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: but I was almost like intimidated to say him. She 347 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 1: was at the back table the fucking best. We have 348 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: so much fun together and we're like best friends anyway. 349 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: So like we had we both had off last night 350 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 1: last week, like one night. Yeah, and we were podcasting Monday, 351 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 1: podcasting Wednesday, and we were both off Tuesday night. So 352 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 1: we went and saw a movie together. You see Scream 353 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: and did you? It was a movie. It was good. 354 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: It was a fun rom at the cinema. Oh yeah, 355 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: I haven't seen Screams since Scream Too. I think, Oh, 356 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: you got very fun. It's a fun little series. That 357 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: was such a good movie. When Jada Pickett Smith gets 358 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: a fucking knife through the head when she's in the bathroom, 359 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,639 Speaker 1: she's the first one killed. I think in that in 360 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: that movie. No, Drew Barrymore was which who we saw 361 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: last night? Okay, so we're back. Check out being Ian 362 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 1: with Jordan his podcast, and he's so funny. He was 363 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: a perfect date to have because Ian is this person 364 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 1: that he's so comical looking. He's such a cool looking guy, 365 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: but he also looks funny and nice and approachable, and 366 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,120 Speaker 1: he is all those things. So he's a perfect date. 367 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: I chose Ian mainly because I remember remember gad El Malay, 368 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,919 Speaker 1: how do you say this last name? How could we 369 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: forget Nay? Remember gad was obsessed with you. I just 370 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 1: always remember he was like, what is this man? I'm 371 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: fascinated by him? You should be a star. I just 372 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: think the celebrities are like obsessed with Ian, Like I 373 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 1: just knew he would be someone that would be like 374 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 1: flashy and everyone would And I even heard people at 375 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,440 Speaker 1: the after party going and the guy in the mustache apparently, 376 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 1: and then I like didn't say, but I heard someone 377 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: be like and the guy with the cave like they 378 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: were like everyone loving you. Every time you would walk away, 379 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,959 Speaker 1: people would be like, is the cana prop or does 380 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: he really need it? I was like, he was hit 381 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 1: by a car three years ago, so he kind of 382 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: needed a first and now it's more of an ex Really, Oh, 383 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 1: I thought he was just talking. Yeah. No, I separated 384 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,879 Speaker 1: my sacrum from my pelvis and I slipped my L 385 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: four and L five. Shout out, Dawn, my osteopath. Thank you, Um, 386 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: so you're you're healed again. She really healed you. You're osteopath, 387 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 1: she yelled me. And then I gotta, I gotta go 388 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,919 Speaker 1: back this week and then I and then I start 389 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: physical therapy. He's just dropping glass. He's not peacocking either. 390 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 1: He needs those um for his personality. A handicap. Wait, 391 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,439 Speaker 1: what did I say last night involving handicap? That was 392 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 1: so funny? Ian I had a good line about it 393 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: was so good. God, damn it, I don't know. I forget, 394 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 1: Please God, can we remember? Because it was it was 395 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 1: good enough to write down almost anyway. We had so 396 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: many good jokes. I said, I was cracking up, and also, 397 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 1: Dan's just a great date because it's the I have 398 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: anxiety in those moments too. I was not there working. 399 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if anyone fucking knows who I am. 400 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 1: I didn't feel I was just sitting with the general audience. 401 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,159 Speaker 1: I wasn't like up on the sides with all the celebrities. 402 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,199 Speaker 1: There was no like vip pass that I had, Like 403 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 1: I'm friends with dad, but hey, we were with some celebrities. 404 00:20:56,240 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: We were very close to Wolf Blitzer. He was behind 405 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 1: us the blitz. Yeah, world War One call back to 406 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,639 Speaker 1: um so he yeah, he was sitting behind us, but 407 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: um yeah. So Ian comes to my hotel room to 408 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: get ready. I've already had hair and makeup. Come to 409 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,120 Speaker 1: my room. I had a great team. Um and I'm 410 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 1: in my robe but I'm all done up. I'm like, 411 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: don't want to get him my dressed yet because it's 412 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: so tight. And Ian comes in, and I thought Ian 413 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 1: was I got him a hotel room. I thought he 414 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: was gonna like go to his in a different hotel, 415 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 1: but it was like close enough by. I thought he 416 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,199 Speaker 1: was gonna go to his hotel and get ready and 417 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: then come meet me like ready. But he comes in 418 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,200 Speaker 1: with his suitcase and like all of his bloggings has 419 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: not jumped into his hotel yet, and he comes in. 420 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: He has to take a shower and he has to 421 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 1: like totally get ready. He but he's immediately after his shower, 422 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: he's sweating so much. And I was cold because I'm 423 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,880 Speaker 1: about to be cold all night long. So I blasted 424 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,719 Speaker 1: the heat a little bit. It was hot, but then 425 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: I turned it down and you were still sweating all 426 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: night long, all night loss. Yeah, I two together your problem. 427 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: But also you want to go back and and read 428 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 1: your little text you said, Yeah, the room and get ready. 429 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: I'm thinking get ready for finishing touches like tie to tie, 430 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 1: Like I didn't know who would be like take a 431 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 1: shower in my boyfriend room. Oh, probably that too. So 432 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: he comes in. He has all of his cigarettes light 433 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,119 Speaker 1: out on the bed. He's taking his cigarettes out of 434 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 1: the path pristine white bed because he has a cigarette 435 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: case that he got that's a silver case and he 436 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 1: wants to take them out of the unsightly Um. Yeah, 437 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: so he has a beautiful so he has all the 438 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: loose there's tobacco all over litter all over my boyfriend's bed. Um. 439 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,360 Speaker 1: Then he goes and takes a shower, which is fine, 440 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: like I didn't care. Then he's like he's sweating so 441 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: much he can't get dressed because he can't, and I'm 442 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll blast the ac I'm so sorry, So 443 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,919 Speaker 1: I'm doing that he is. Then he goes in the 444 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,360 Speaker 1: bathroom and I it's getting the way where it was like, Ian, 445 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 1: we gotta go. I guess he's shaving his mustache and 446 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: I just hear like him squeal in pain and then 447 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 1: start laughing maniacally like Joker style, and I go, what's 448 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: going on? And he's got blood coming down his lip, 449 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: like into his teeth, on his lip, eating everywhere, and 450 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,360 Speaker 1: he's like it's okay, it's okay. And I was like, oh, 451 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,399 Speaker 1: is it really okay? How are you going to stop that? Up? 452 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: In five minutes, our ober is coming? And it was 453 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 1: so because we've were laughing so hard because I and 454 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 1: describe what you thought like it was a hilarious image 455 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 1: Right now. I could not have a funnier thing. Then 456 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 1: sitting at this prestigious award show at the Kennedy Center 457 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,960 Speaker 1: for the Mark Twain Brice for American Humor and its 458 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: Celebrities a galla then and the camera goes to Nicky 459 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: Blazer at CNN and and I'm sitting there smiling with 460 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: a mouthful of blood just in my teeth, jed like, 461 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:07,760 Speaker 1: with your fucking cane cigarette. Nobody knows me and I'm 462 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:12,399 Speaker 1: the guy who's who's bleeding. Look like I have a 463 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:17,119 Speaker 1: head injury on the red carpet. You look like a 464 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: young Mark Twain too. You would say that to you 465 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 1: last night? You kind of does no, totally your love. Yeah, 466 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 1: so he stops it up, and then we finally leave, 467 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 1: and um we go. We go to the event, and 468 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 1: it was so fine. Before we get to the event, 469 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: we go downstairs and we sit with David Spade and 470 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:49,399 Speaker 1: Chris Rock and Ted Assistant and Ted Silanos. Anyone know 471 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: who that is? The man who owns Netflix? Oh himself? 472 00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 1: Guy's a charge of Netflix. Dude, did you bleed on him? 473 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 1: I think it's Soranos or Sarah Serranos. But this was wild. 474 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 1: I okay, I have to do a thought experiment of 475 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 1: what we all would do. Okay, because this is Ian finance. 476 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,399 Speaker 1: He I would want no one else to be my 477 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 1: date I asked for this. I just I'm not I 478 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,360 Speaker 1: just want to know what y'all would do. Okay, So 479 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,360 Speaker 1: we are sitting with Um, David Spade and Chris Rock 480 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: and Ted. Ted joins a little bit later, but Um 481 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 1: and David's assistant Heather, who I love, and I could 482 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 1: tell Ian's like a little nervous, but he's fine. Like 483 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 1: it's I'm nervous. I'm not usually around Chris Rock. Like 484 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: it's like I wasn't nervous, but it's like, you know, 485 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: it was a little bit like, oh my god, you know, 486 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 1: and I just watched Chris A specials. So I'm telling 487 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,919 Speaker 1: him about I feel about that, and we're all just 488 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,959 Speaker 1: like having fun and chatting, and Ian's fine. And when 489 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 1: we really that's what we realized, like we're not gonna 490 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 1: be able to eat before this thing, and it's gonna 491 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 1: be we're going right to the event. If we're about 492 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 1: to get an uber, we're going right to the vent. 493 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 1: It's gonna be three and a half hours and then 494 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: we're not gonna eat and Um, and Ian's hungry, and 495 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 1: so I was like, and I have my bars with me, 496 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 1: so I'm gonna be fine. I know that. But um, 497 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 1: because I expect no place to have vegan food. But Ian, 498 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh fuck. So I was like, it is 499 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 1: okay if Ian has some chips and fries. They had 500 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,160 Speaker 1: like this little centerpiece of fries and chips that they 501 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: like brought to all the tables and um, They're like, yeah, 502 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 1: that's fine. So Ian takes some chips and it was fine. 503 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 1: And then there's this like the shrimp cocktail that is 504 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,120 Speaker 1: sitting untouched, like on the side of the table. No, 505 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 1: no, no no, it was not a shrimp cocktail. These were 506 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:33,199 Speaker 1: the largest frauns giant ever seen, I mean giant August. 507 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 1: There's probably how many were there six five okay five 508 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: and had had anyone had one yet none okay had 509 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: food on the table. Yeah, they were eating. No one's 510 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 1: touching that. They got all this food going to there's 511 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 1: all this food. Okay, there's not all this food. Chris 512 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 1: Rock has the Caesar salad, there's like the French fries. 513 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 1: Uh Spade has his plate of meat or whatever, and 514 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,440 Speaker 1: then there's the shrimp cocktail. But it's not being touched. 515 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: But it seems like it's it's part of the smartest part, 516 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 1: you know, like it's gonna be along. Maybe they're gonna 517 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,400 Speaker 1: sit there a while. So Ian goes, would you guys 518 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: mind if I had some of the shrimp? And they go, yeah, 519 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,880 Speaker 1: my god, sure? What did you say? Spade asked if 520 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,159 Speaker 1: I wanted the shrimp because I kept going back for 521 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: the fries, and he goes, here, have have some Have 522 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: some of the shrimp. Okay, some of the shrimp. So Ian, 523 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,199 Speaker 1: what would you do if you were starving and it 524 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: was it was offered to you? Said? He said, have 525 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: the shrimp. No, you can't take it back. Listen, he said, 526 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: have Even if he said have the shrimp, let me 527 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: just put this to you guys, and you're starving, and 528 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: you do see a lot of food there. They've already 529 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 1: got their main dish. The appetizer maybe arrived with the 530 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 1: main dish. So maybe it's like part of it. I 531 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 1: don't know. I get appetizers in my main dish together. 532 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: So Ian is offered the shrimp, right, so he takes 533 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: it over and puts it in front of himself. If 534 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: you were Ian, how many shrimp would you have had? 535 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: Of those five shrimp? If you were not a guest 536 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: at this table about to leave in three minutes? How 537 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: many shrimp? Would you have of these giant prawns? If 538 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 1: Spade told me have the shrimp, I would eat four 539 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,399 Speaker 1: of the existing five and then say are you sure 540 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 1: I can have all of these? And then I'd finish 541 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 1: off the fifth if I got permission. If he said 542 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: have some of the shrimp, I'd eat two and then 543 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,320 Speaker 1: probably asked I remember what we said, because actually Spade 544 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,680 Speaker 1: has a joke about he sometimes says shrimps instead of 545 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 1: shrimp because it's just a funny thing to say to 546 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: waiters and waitresses to be like, I think I'll have 547 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: the shrimps, and they go, okay, yeah, you'll have the 548 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: cocktail shrimp. And then he goes, yeah, let's do one 549 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: of the cocktail shrimps. And he just keeps hitting shrimps. 550 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 1: So he said that. He goes, do you want some shrimps? 551 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: To Ian? I believe that was the phrase. Ian puts 552 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: it in front of him. I look over. Within three minutes, 553 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: he's sucking off the last one. He's completely decimated this 554 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: untouched shrimps appetizer. And I just and I am like 555 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 1: a little bit embarrassed because this is my guest that 556 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: they don't know, and he's just eating a complete appetizer 557 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: that they didn't even touch. That it was probably thirty 558 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 1: five dollars. I mean, at least when this menu and 559 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 1: they're with three of the most powerful people in common 560 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 1: in all of comedy and entertainment. He gave him a 561 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 1: great story, and I wonder why Ian wasn't scared to 562 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 1: be around famous people and he can't trust himself. I mean, 563 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: I wanted to tell him Ian the ocean called, they're 564 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,720 Speaker 1: running out of shrimp, like I wanted to do the 565 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 1: classic Seinfeld line because you were stuff in your face 566 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: like George was. And then that board meeting when he goes, 567 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 1: oh the church store called, and they're running out of 568 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: you and they it was exactly like that. You just 569 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,719 Speaker 1: had your last strip in your mouth and then um. 570 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 1: So I just thought that was so funny, because in 571 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: no world would I I would of course I would 572 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 1: want all of them. I would. I would be obsessive 573 00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 1: about There's been so many times I've been at dinner 574 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: and people don't eat all of something an appetizer, but I, 575 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,719 Speaker 1: because I'm not paying and I'm not a guest, I 576 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,480 Speaker 1: will not dare eat them. And maybe that's my problem. 577 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 1: Maybe I should we shall all be more like an 578 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 1: and you can't be listen to any or if you know, 579 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 1: if you're putting shrimps in front of me, Yeah, to 580 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 1: know something. I'm a dirty dig delaware doozy and I'm 581 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: gonna eat them all. Okay, It's just it is what 582 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: it is. And and can I also say they weren't 583 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:31,479 Speaker 1: touching them? No, they were front. You weren't wrong. It 584 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 1: wasn't about that though. It wasn't about like if they 585 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: would know You're totally right, But why would they order 586 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: it if it didn't seem even good for to have 587 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 1: one of them like they you didn't give this. Maybe 588 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: they gotta face like a complimentary thing from the restaurant. No, 589 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 1: they did not. There's no complimentary shrimps. If we got 590 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 1: there was like a you know, I's trying to spin it. Sorry, No, 591 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 1: I'm not done with Ian. I'm not done Ian. I 592 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: have a couple more things to call you out on. 593 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 1: And don't you all come at me and goo Nikki's 594 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 1: bullying Ian. I don't want to hear any of that. Ship. 595 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: I'm so tired of being called out for being mean 596 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: to boys when all I watch on Instagram is reels 597 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: of boys being mean show each other in podcasts and 598 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 1: everyone fucking eats it up. I'm giving Ian shit behavioral things, 599 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 1: and I can take it back myself. You can give 600 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: me shit about stuff I do. Try like just and 601 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 1: I know you're like, no, you can't take it. Well, 602 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 1: if I can't, then I can't. But I'm I'm serious. 603 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 1: This is coming from love, so ea. And also what 604 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: Nikki's not telling you is it? I thank them and 605 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: I put the shrimp shells on my fingers and said, 606 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 1: would anyone like? And that goes. We need to give 607 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 1: this guy a development deal. Yeah, three specials, just like Chappelle. 608 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 1: This guy has something to say about the trance community 609 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 1: three different ways for three hours. So yeah, yeah, you're right, 610 00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: actually does have some experience. Yea. That Yan's gonna go 611 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: to Long john Silver's with Ted uh talk out their deal. Okay, Simpson, 612 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 1: So I can't tell if it's your cane or your cat. 613 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: This cat looks severely terrified. I got that looks like 614 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: piano cat. It looks paralyzed. Okay, so let me just Ian. 615 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 1: I have I have to just share a couple more things, 616 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: so then then let's just okay. So we went to 617 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: the event. We'll tell you more about that in a bit. 618 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: But we get back at the end of the night 619 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: and we're all in this blick bar area, and by 620 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: the way, there is a group of people that include 621 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 1: Ben Stiller and Chris Rock like at the same bar 622 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: that we're at in the lobby, but we're sitting at 623 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,720 Speaker 1: a different table. And in that group it was also 624 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: a girl that looked exactly like Jennif Fransen. So I 625 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 1: thought Jennif Franston was there, but it was her. It 626 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,760 Speaker 1: was it was a doppelganger. But it was so funny 627 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 1: because our table didn't see what I saw, which was 628 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: this girl that looked like jenn Franson. And there were 629 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 1: two Khaki, Chris's sister, and then Bihar Kuren, Chris's brothers. Date. 630 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 1: Khaki and Bihar we're talking about Brad Pitt very loudly 631 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,720 Speaker 1: and like as you would like in conversation with your girlfriends, 632 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,120 Speaker 1: like at a bar it would be. But I'm like, guys, no, 633 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: like like it was like the only it was so 634 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 1: funny that like, and I've this has happened a lot 635 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 1: in my life where I will hear people talk about 636 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 1: celebrities that I know. Next to and I'm like, you 637 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: think you can talk about celebrities whenever you want, but 638 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,960 Speaker 1: there are certain times when those celebrities or the people 639 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 1: they've dated is like right next to you. And at 640 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: the Four Seasons in DC, on this specific night, you 641 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,200 Speaker 1: couldn't talk about celebrities openly. I mean, it was teaming 642 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:51,000 Speaker 1: with them, so but it I kept saying a couple 643 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,880 Speaker 1: of things that I like, was like, oh, I forgot 644 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 1: where I am. Like I told Nikki, I was going 645 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:59,160 Speaker 1: around going Eyeszone Obama, I have eyes. We are at 646 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:04,680 Speaker 1: the Kennedy sent and then at one point, oh my god, 647 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: I kept just eating. I wouldn't look at Ian and 648 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 1: I would just go, Nope, don't say it. Because there 649 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 1: were just so many times to make really right wing 650 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,879 Speaker 1: conservative like Storm of the Capitol type jokes where Ian 651 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,720 Speaker 1: would like people and be like, hey, hi, I'm eighty 652 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 1: eight million people really voted for Biden. Gonna believe it anyway. 653 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: I have a podcast and a cat named Samson. H 654 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 1: you got a shrimps. It's so funny that there were 655 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 1: only five or six there. Oh yeah, I mean it 656 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 1: was a shrimp cocktail. It was decorating the side of 657 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,759 Speaker 1: the dish. But they were hanging out like they were 658 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: jumbo shrimps, and so I can't, like, can stop saying shrimps. 659 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:53,440 Speaker 1: It's so funny. So we go back and it's like 660 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,759 Speaker 1: I can tell it's like eat, time for Ian to go. 661 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,319 Speaker 1: My boyfriend is about to arrive. And Ian has been 662 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 1: with me all night, and it's like we're tied aired 663 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 1: and and Ian just eight and I can tell that 664 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: like Ian's like leg is just moving like he's working 665 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,400 Speaker 1: a sewing machine, like it's going up and down so fast. 666 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:09,799 Speaker 1: There were so many times during the night I just 667 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: had to like and he'd like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 668 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's okay. I just want to calm your 669 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,279 Speaker 1: leg down. So Ian was re earned to go and 670 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,839 Speaker 1: um He's like, I gotta go back up to your 671 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 1: room to get um my suitcase and stuff that he 672 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 1: had up there. And I was like, oh great. So 673 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 1: I hand him a hotel key and he goes up 674 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 1: there and he is up there for so long because 675 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,400 Speaker 1: I said, grab me a protein bar because there was 676 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: nothing on this menu and I was like, I'm hungry. 677 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,200 Speaker 1: So he grabs me one. He comes right down. I go, 678 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 1: why did it take I texted him, why is it 679 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 1: taking you eight hours to back? Like what is going 680 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,840 Speaker 1: on up there? And he's like, I had to pack 681 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 1: and he comes back down and then he leaves, and 682 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,400 Speaker 1: then Chris and I go up to the So Chris, 683 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,439 Speaker 1: let me just say, oh, Ian's gone. Oh he's got 684 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 1: to come back for this because it's too funny. And 685 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna send you guys a picture of what I 686 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: came back to in the Oh my god, I cannot 687 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:02,959 Speaker 1: even imagine more tobacco. It's like tobacco in a heart 688 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,920 Speaker 1: shape on the bed. Oh my god, that would be 689 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,799 Speaker 1: so funny, like a honeymoon suite. And I love that 690 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: your vibe is so easy with him though, Like I 691 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,840 Speaker 1: love that you can give him so much shit and 692 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: he loves it. Yeah. I mean he's a goofball and 693 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 1: I that's why I love him though. He's so quirky, 694 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 1: but he's happy, go lucky. That's like, yeah, what I 695 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,479 Speaker 1: imagine when I hear that term. Yeah, I've always wanted 696 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,840 Speaker 1: to have a brother like this, Like so I we 697 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,160 Speaker 1: could talk shit to each other a little bit, like 698 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,759 Speaker 1: just even saying, what are you doing up there for 699 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: so long? Like I don't have a relationship like that. 700 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,520 Speaker 1: Anyone I have a relationship with that literally everyone of 701 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 1: every there's no one I wouldn't go like, what are 702 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: you doing up there? Like come on, I mean, it's 703 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,319 Speaker 1: the way my dad talks. I just hear my dad 704 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,920 Speaker 1: constantly being judgmental and like, what are taking so long? 705 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,719 Speaker 1: And I go, where did I get my judgmental like 706 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:57,279 Speaker 1: impatient bitch mode from Daddy's girl Daddy? But yeah, it's 707 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:58,719 Speaker 1: like it was getting to the point where it was 708 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 1: like what could he be doing up there? It was 709 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: like really a long time and so and by the way, 710 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: Chris is not like a fan of smoking or tobacco products, 711 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 1: So there was a point when there was tobacco in 712 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:10,520 Speaker 1: the bed that I was like, let's clean up all 713 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 1: of this, so it's not like sitting here all night. 714 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,759 Speaker 1: And so I got it off the bed and I 715 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 1: go back upstairs with Chris. And by the way, Chris 716 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 1: has worked, I mean, Chris has probably slept four hours 717 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,359 Speaker 1: in the past week working on the show, and he 718 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,959 Speaker 1: is about to only get forty five minutes of sleep 719 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,360 Speaker 1: before he has to get on a plane tomorrow to 720 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 1: go start editing this because he has to deliver it 721 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,880 Speaker 1: on Friday, and it's a huge edit job and we 722 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 1: are watching Ian zip his pants. Okay, started with your penis. 723 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 1: I thought you were doing a bit du Literally, the 724 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 1: camera came back on and the Ian is zipping up 725 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 1: his pants. O god, I'm glad you got whatever that 726 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,080 Speaker 1: was done. It was a prawn my phone. Yeah, there'd 727 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 1: be hilarious. And then I went to the bathroom and 728 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,279 Speaker 1: I ran out. Oh, I know exactly what you did. 729 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 1: I know how you live it, man, So thank you, 730 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 1: welcome back to the show. So I was just saying 731 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:05,359 Speaker 1: you were, um, you know, on the you had gone 732 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,360 Speaker 1: up there, you'd taken a while long time. We go 733 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 1: back up and Chris literally has forty five minutes to 734 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,000 Speaker 1: fall asleep before he has to get up and start putting, putting, 735 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,840 Speaker 1: writing in notes and then take his fight back to 736 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:18,040 Speaker 1: La to start editing. He has no time. So we 737 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:22,239 Speaker 1: get there and um, I go in the bathroom and 738 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,040 Speaker 1: I'm washing my face and I'm getting ready for bed, 739 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 1: and Chris is kind of like, you know, packing up 740 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,480 Speaker 1: stuff in the room and I go, I look in 741 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,440 Speaker 1: the trash and I'm just gonna send you a picture 742 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:35,040 Speaker 1: of what I see in the trash. Okay, and this is. 743 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:36,799 Speaker 1: This is at the Four Seasons by the way, which 744 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,279 Speaker 1: is like the nicest hotel you can stay at. This 745 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,400 Speaker 1: is what Ian has placed in the trash. And I 746 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: just want to know, like if you had to dispose 747 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,480 Speaker 1: of this product or like this bag of things, like 748 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,360 Speaker 1: do you think do you think you I'm sending it 749 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 1: to YouTube and so you can see what you laft. No, 750 00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 1: it's so funny. So I don't even know what what 751 00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:06,759 Speaker 1: in the world like any it's a giant bag of 752 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:11,040 Speaker 1: like cigarettes and other things a bag, but you placed 753 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,160 Speaker 1: it on top of the trash, almost like on the 754 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: very top, so I get it. I'm like, Chris, there's 755 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,359 Speaker 1: like a really I go, this is I just want 756 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,840 Speaker 1: you to know I'm not smoking Marlborough rets. This is 757 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: again you didn't even try to like tuck it in 758 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,880 Speaker 1: the dress like I guess I'm just running through what 759 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: I would do, would just like hide my disgusting, smelly tobacco. 760 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,120 Speaker 1: But you did put it in a ziploc bag, which 761 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 1: I appreciate. It's trash. It looks like it was a 762 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:41,480 Speaker 1: Christmas display. It just look like a beautiful display. And 763 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:46,920 Speaker 1: also did you did you notice I hate the towels 764 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 1: with my blood on it. I'm getting to that, mister, 765 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: I't that so so I was just like, I go, Chris, 766 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry he didn't tuck it more in because it's 767 00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,720 Speaker 1: like a beautiful towel than there's just like this white 768 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:05,360 Speaker 1: rash trash sticking out. It's the most I was like 769 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 1: that fucking hillbilly. And he goes, did you just call 770 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,359 Speaker 1: him a hillbilly? And I was like yes, this is 771 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:17,359 Speaker 1: a fucking hillbilly moment. So then we go to bed 772 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:22,359 Speaker 1: and um, Chris sleeps for forty five minutes. I don't 773 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,600 Speaker 1: even sleep in the time that he's sleeping, so I'm 774 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,399 Speaker 1: awake the whole time. I hear his alarm go off. 775 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 1: He gets up and he just wants to take a 776 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,279 Speaker 1: hot shower before he gets on the plane. And he 777 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 1: just comes back and he goes, hey, um, did like, 778 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,239 Speaker 1: did Ian like shower here? And I was like yeah 779 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,840 Speaker 1: he did, and he goes, yeah, there's no towels left, 780 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 1: so he had no towels And then I'm this and 781 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,760 Speaker 1: I go, babe, I'm so sorry. You can use the bathroom. 782 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: There's a fresh bathroom you could use that. He's like, 783 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,160 Speaker 1: you know what, I don't even. He wasn't mad at all. 784 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:52,799 Speaker 1: He was like, no, no, no, it's fine. But I 785 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:59,760 Speaker 1: was just like, he was like, make yourself at home, 786 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,879 Speaker 1: and there's no main surface between when Ian is at 787 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 1: my place and we are going to have to use 788 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:11,719 Speaker 1: this again. So this morning, Ian, I woke up and 789 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,640 Speaker 1: I got the bathroom and I see, I see what 790 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:19,840 Speaker 1: Chris is attempted to look for in towels. And they're 791 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:23,480 Speaker 1: towels hanging up and there's two of them. And what 792 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 1: Christmas have done was looking these towels to see if 793 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,720 Speaker 1: they were like clean enough or had any like spray 794 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,600 Speaker 1: tan stains, because he's used to seeing like my spray 795 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: tan on stuff and like going, it's dirty. And there 796 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:41,000 Speaker 1: was blood all of his face. Chris just wanting a 797 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,480 Speaker 1: hot shower in his own hotel room. I'd like to 798 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,840 Speaker 1: dry off. Accordingly, there's not wet towels. There's like thirteen 799 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 1: packs of Morrows, and there's blood all over the towels. 800 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:58,680 Speaker 1: It was so funny this. I started laughing so hard. 801 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,600 Speaker 1: But he Chris, did I give a shit. I was 802 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:08,200 Speaker 1: just like that fucking hill billy, bleeding and sweating all 803 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:15,319 Speaker 1: over town. It was so funny tobacco. I didn't even 804 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,319 Speaker 1: get into the after party. I know, Ian, you have 805 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 1: to go, but we go. We go to the after 806 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:24,319 Speaker 1: party and Ian so it was like delicious food at 807 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 1: the after party. There are shrimp cocktails at the party. 808 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,719 Speaker 1: How many did Ean have and how many shrimps are 809 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 1: on each one? Four? How many shrimp cocktails did e 810 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:44,600 Speaker 1: In have? Four? So he did have two shrimp after 811 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:51,239 Speaker 1: the ceremonies, plus six gigantic ones thirty prawns. Oh my gosh. 812 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:56,080 Speaker 1: The documentary Spiracy is about you. What the fuck man, 813 00:42:56,239 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 1: our oceans are being to fleted. You're part of the 814 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:08,359 Speaker 1: problem in I'm but we were laughing Zard because he 815 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,799 Speaker 1: would like double hit. You know how sometimes people get 816 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,759 Speaker 1: like two drinks for someone and they'll put like two 817 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,279 Speaker 1: like like you know, like champagne glasses, because that's what 818 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: they were in. Was like kind of not champagne but 819 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,279 Speaker 1: like um margarite and glasses. So he was told it's 820 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 1: like a waiter going, but he had two in each 821 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,280 Speaker 1: inn and he kept pretending that he had a friend. Meanwhile, 822 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 1: the only thing I could eat there was this slaw 823 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:33,920 Speaker 1: is like mango cuga for slaw, and I was holding 824 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,080 Speaker 1: down our seats, and I was like, I could really 825 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,359 Speaker 1: go for some more slaw. Ian goes to go get 826 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:43,240 Speaker 1: some more food, brings back, No, Slaw brings back twenty 827 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:48,960 Speaker 1: five shrimps. It was so funny. Oh my god, like 828 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,279 Speaker 1: did you he posted a picture and the damn him 829 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,239 Speaker 1: on the toilet. He sends it to me being like, 830 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 1: is that after we've I've sent him all these getty 831 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,840 Speaker 1: images of us looking like so dapper as fuck on 832 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:00,560 Speaker 1: the red carpet. By the way, he did get to 833 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 1: walk in the end. It was awesome and they were 834 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,080 Speaker 1: like and we had such a good time doing that. 835 00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 1: They the photographers loved you, like there was listen, you know, 836 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:11,400 Speaker 1: this was all like um group of photos just you 837 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,759 Speaker 1: go over here, over here. But they were like they 838 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,200 Speaker 1: were cracking up at us. It was like I felt 839 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,960 Speaker 1: like we were doing our pitch for like our sitcom, 840 00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:24,840 Speaker 1: you know, like what the posters would be. Yeah, Yanni 841 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 1: and Laurel. Oh my god, holy Yanni. Um I was 842 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,440 Speaker 1: using I was using my cane as a guitar, yes, 843 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,920 Speaker 1: and then like spinning around and and you know how, 844 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 1: you know how when on the Red Garbet when they 845 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,799 Speaker 1: go who are you wearing? Where'd you get your suit. 846 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: I just would have got They were going, where'd you 847 00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 1: get the cane? I would tell us about the cane? Where, Well, 848 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,480 Speaker 1: it's a it's a pippie cane. I got it from 849 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:52,960 Speaker 1: Georgetown back. If you see on Getty Image there is 850 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,880 Speaker 1: a close up of Ian's cane. They just did a 851 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:59,360 Speaker 1: real close up of the pipe. Okay, yes, because sometimes 852 00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,680 Speaker 1: they do that on there's one on my like bracelet, 853 00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,600 Speaker 1: there's one of my shoes. But there's there's cane heerbs 854 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,000 Speaker 1: out there. Wait, let's talk about when you went up 855 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,759 Speaker 1: to go have a cigarette after we did the Red 856 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,960 Speaker 1: carpet and there were complete there were so many fans 857 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 1: out there waiting for the rivals celebrities. And I thought 858 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,480 Speaker 1: we were just going out because I was just joining 859 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 1: him for his post carpet sig and there were like 860 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,799 Speaker 1: a ton of people being like Nicki, NICKI, come take 861 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,520 Speaker 1: a picture. It was all these like cute fans and 862 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,920 Speaker 1: like they're just comedy fans, and they they were they 863 00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,759 Speaker 1: were waiting for Anniston, but they were throwing me a bone. 864 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,759 Speaker 1: But then there was one group of guys yep that 865 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,680 Speaker 1: go Ian finance, and I was like hell yeah, and 866 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 1: they knew Ian, and so then Ian goes and have 867 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,240 Speaker 1: a cigarette, and then on the way back in, Ian 868 00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna go give some love to this 869 00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 1: guy over here that shouted because they're behind a barricade 870 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: and they're kind of like quarantined off. So Ian's like, 871 00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go over to get to allow them to 872 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 1: take a picture with me because they were excited to 873 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,640 Speaker 1: see him, which is the right thing to do. So 874 00:45:53,760 --> 00:46:00,840 Speaker 1: what happened Ian, Well, so I just I did. You 875 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 1: could go straight into the building, or you could go 876 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,080 Speaker 1: this way and over to be around the people in 877 00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:12,360 Speaker 1: the barry. You're gonna give them a you know, I 878 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,520 Speaker 1: was gonna do some selfies. You know, the people want 879 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,000 Speaker 1: to be you know, it makes people feel good. So 880 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 1: I went over and I see all of them looking 881 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,680 Speaker 1: at me, and now I'm headed into the building and 882 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 1: behind us is the red carpet where the limos and 883 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,239 Speaker 1: the expedition show up. So I go over and they're 884 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,880 Speaker 1: all looking at me, and I wave and these this 885 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:37,520 Speaker 1: is a group of people that were going to eat 886 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:41,080 Speaker 1: and Ian finance. So I'm like, oh, oh please please, 887 00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:45,040 Speaker 1: and they go there he is and I go, hey, guys, 888 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,960 Speaker 1: and um, they completely ignored me, and we're looking at 889 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:54,359 Speaker 1: the person who arrived by Ian was like, here, I am, 890 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,759 Speaker 1: and they were like they were like, no more. And 891 00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,680 Speaker 1: that is exactly why I wanted to get the funk 892 00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:00,839 Speaker 1: out of there, because I knew famous people were gonna 893 00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:02,520 Speaker 1: roll up and we were gonna feel small as fuck. 894 00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:04,399 Speaker 1: But we were the only people there at the time, 895 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,000 Speaker 1: so they were like so excited for us. Um. And 896 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:08,880 Speaker 1: then we went into the event and we watched it 897 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,759 Speaker 1: and it was so freaking good. We were like, you know, 898 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,120 Speaker 1: feet away, we were fifth row. We got to see 899 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:22,960 Speaker 1: Chris Rock, Conan O'Brien, Um, Rob Snyder, U, Ben Stiller, 900 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:32,400 Speaker 1: Still Stu Aniston, Drew Barrymore Yeah, um and and and 901 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,560 Speaker 1: many more. I think we're missing his mom. Adam's mom 902 00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,960 Speaker 1: did a thing. Adam's wife did a thing. I mean 903 00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 1: it just if you want to feel bad about your relationship, 904 00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:44,719 Speaker 1: and like Adina Menzel adelmot nazim As, John Vulture calls, 905 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,000 Speaker 1: if I do want to say, if you want to 906 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,200 Speaker 1: feel bad about your own relationship, listen to the love 907 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,440 Speaker 1: story of Adam and his wife on the Mark Twain 908 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:55,480 Speaker 1: Prize Award for Humor on Sunday Night, like it is 909 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,439 Speaker 1: like I was just sitting there and even after the show, 910 00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:01,480 Speaker 1: I asked a few other people like, were you comparing 911 00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,800 Speaker 1: your own relationship to theirs, And everyone's like yes, And 912 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,399 Speaker 1: it was like, oh god, it's like watching a rom 913 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,400 Speaker 1: com where you're just like, now you know where he 914 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:12,799 Speaker 1: kind of like gets the um what are you using? Oh, 915 00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,400 Speaker 1: he's eating kale bites? Or then did you get kale bites? No? 916 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:19,879 Speaker 1: I got egg white and roasted red pepper bites. Oh yeah, 917 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:23,000 Speaker 1: those are good. Those are good. My my my screen 918 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,120 Speaker 1: is frozen. You guys are frozen. So you think that 919 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,920 Speaker 1: you're a frozen two? Yes? Right, I know what's going 920 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:33,480 Speaker 1: through your head. Ian is he's starving. Ian's like a child, 921 00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:35,759 Speaker 1: you know how Like children if they can't see you, 922 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,160 Speaker 1: they think you can't see them when they hide, like 923 00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,080 Speaker 1: they'll hide behind like a tree. So it's like but 924 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:50,759 Speaker 1: you can see them totally. So Ian didn't whatever, but 925 00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,080 Speaker 1: we were laughing. Sword. I want to throw myself under 926 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,680 Speaker 1: the bus a little bit because Ian, you caught this 927 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 1: moment and we never talked about it before. Remember when 928 00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,840 Speaker 1: I was trying to get us in the vip lound 929 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,080 Speaker 1: and there was that guy I was trying to fight, 930 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:09,920 Speaker 1: and I don't, dude, it wasn't racist. I want to 931 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:14,120 Speaker 1: say what I did wasn't. I don't remember what people 932 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,600 Speaker 1: look like. So I met this guy initially who was 933 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,160 Speaker 1: like area, and I go, let me go get my friends. 934 00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,319 Speaker 1: I go get my friends. I come back and he's 935 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:24,880 Speaker 1: not there anymore. But there was a guy that was 936 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,880 Speaker 1: like there when this guy told me that, and I go, 937 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:28,600 Speaker 1: where's that guy that just told me he can get 938 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,880 Speaker 1: me in the VIP area? And he's like, and that 939 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,759 Speaker 1: guy's a bestie. By the way, Um, I forget his name, 940 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:38,399 Speaker 1: but he is probably listening to this. Bob was his name, Bob, Yeah, 941 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:41,320 Speaker 1: shut up, shout out. Really good job remembering it. He 942 00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 1: hung at the VIP party, was very nice. I really 943 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:47,399 Speaker 1: enjoyed talking to him, and um, I was so sorry 944 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,920 Speaker 1: this happened. But he went away and I couldn't fight. 945 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,040 Speaker 1: But I didn't remember, Like I just I'm not good 946 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,880 Speaker 1: with faces. And it sometimes gets misconstrued as racism because 947 00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,319 Speaker 1: it's just like, so I go, there was a guy 948 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,040 Speaker 1: that was right here. He goes, oh, yeah, he's coming, 949 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:02,960 Speaker 1: he's coming back. So he radioed him. He's like, he's 950 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 1: coming back and in my mind, I was like, I 951 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,280 Speaker 1: think he was like a black guy. I don't really remember, 952 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,880 Speaker 1: Like it just didn't stick. So then I see this 953 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,040 Speaker 1: black guy coming down the way and I go, oh, 954 00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:14,960 Speaker 1: there he is, and I'm like, wave at this guy. 955 00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:18,759 Speaker 1: It's not him, okay, not at all. And then the 956 00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:27,520 Speaker 1: guy shows up and what is he in? And I go, 957 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,279 Speaker 1: is that racist? I think they ever? Like it's I 958 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,680 Speaker 1: think all brown people look alike a barely, but it's 959 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:36,800 Speaker 1: not that. It just it didn't. That's how much I 960 00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,560 Speaker 1: don't care about racist that I don't. It doesn't even 961 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,960 Speaker 1: go in my head that he's a Could that be it? 962 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:47,399 Speaker 1: Or is it? I mean I kind of think, yes, 963 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,400 Speaker 1: they well I just don't. I'm not kidding. Yes, they 964 00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,760 Speaker 1: were dressed alike because they were part of the staff, 965 00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,879 Speaker 1: so everybody was in the same thing. And on top 966 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 1: of it, most of the time every staff member was 967 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:03,399 Speaker 1: wearing asks, so you couldn't like see ship. Okay, I'm 968 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,320 Speaker 1: totally on your team. I mean, I thought it was 969 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,080 Speaker 1: fucked up when you saw the guy and you go, oh, 970 00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:11,640 Speaker 1: that's right, that one's riding a magic carpet. I was like, 971 00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,200 Speaker 1: that's a bit much. But I just think it's hilarious 972 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:19,080 Speaker 1: that I it wasn't like I just I just saw, 973 00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:21,600 Speaker 1: like I just remember I met him, and I think 974 00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:24,439 Speaker 1: my mind must have gone he does have darker skin tone. 975 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,560 Speaker 1: It wasn't I was so urgent your head. It's it's 976 00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,640 Speaker 1: the same thing that was in my head about I 977 00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,960 Speaker 1: wouldn't admit it. I wouldn't admit it on this podcast. 978 00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:34,759 Speaker 1: There was nothing about me that was like I think 979 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,799 Speaker 1: he's less then, or I see them all as the same. 980 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:38,719 Speaker 1: It was just funny to me that it's not like 981 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,680 Speaker 1: I misconstrue two black people, because whenever that happens, I 982 00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:43,960 Speaker 1: beat myself up so much. One time I tipped a 983 00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:48,960 Speaker 1: girl hundred bucks. I was not helping at all. I 984 00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:53,160 Speaker 1: thought her one hundred dollars. After the show, and everyone 985 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 1: was like, this happens to me with white people. To it, 986 00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,319 Speaker 1: Maybe it doesn't because I'm maybe more familiar with because 987 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,120 Speaker 1: I'm surrounded by the more. I don't know, maybe I 988 00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:06,239 Speaker 1: do have a subconscious uh, Like, it's not like I 989 00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,000 Speaker 1: think they're less than because I can't always it doesn't. 990 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,400 Speaker 1: Whatever it is, I'm not meaning to do this, and 991 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,120 Speaker 1: I think that there's something to be said for me 992 00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:15,640 Speaker 1: admitting that sometimes I fuck up, but I did. One 993 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,480 Speaker 1: time at the DC improv Tom Takar witnessed me give 994 00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,680 Speaker 1: a girl who from behind looked exactly like this other 995 00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:24,080 Speaker 1: girl then the same hairstyle, and I go, hey, thank 996 00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:25,799 Speaker 1: you so much for this weekend, and I gave her 997 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,440 Speaker 1: a crisp under dollar bill. She did not one time 998 00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,399 Speaker 1: come by our green room. She was not our green 999 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,800 Speaker 1: room girl, so that I had to. So then we 1000 00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,360 Speaker 1: were walking by black people in the street. He's like, 1001 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,080 Speaker 1: you want to give him und like just to be safe, 1002 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,319 Speaker 1: and I was like, but you know what, that's that's 1003 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:44,000 Speaker 1: my reparations for being such a piece of shit. I 1004 00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,520 Speaker 1: pay people, you know. But I felt but Ian caught it, 1005 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:49,839 Speaker 1: and I get so embarrassed when I get caught being 1006 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,400 Speaker 1: maybe racist, I get so embarrassed, and not that that's like, 1007 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:56,680 Speaker 1: don't feel sorry, but I just get um, I get 1008 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,520 Speaker 1: really insecure, like am I do I need to correct this? 1009 00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,480 Speaker 1: But it was just it's like I can't help that 1010 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,719 Speaker 1: I don't really look at faces sometimes, or I can't 1011 00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,560 Speaker 1: help that even maybe I do have that sort of 1012 00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:10,759 Speaker 1: like confusion because I didn't grow around up around black 1013 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,839 Speaker 1: people as much so and I feel like black people 1014 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,759 Speaker 1: and um Asian people feel the same way about white people. 1015 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,160 Speaker 1: A lot of times I've heard that they also think 1016 00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,120 Speaker 1: we all look alike? Is that true? Not that I'm 1017 00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:24,399 Speaker 1: saying that I think they all do. I gotta ask, 1018 00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,840 Speaker 1: do you think all white people ever? Like do you 1019 00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,880 Speaker 1: think some white people look alike? Ever? Do you get 1020 00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:34,320 Speaker 1: a confused? What did he say? Did you say? He 1021 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,279 Speaker 1: said not really? But he was no? But is he 1022 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,800 Speaker 1: is he Asian American? Like? Did he grow up in America? 1023 00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,960 Speaker 1: And like, so he's been surrounded by white people forever? 1024 00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:44,839 Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, I'm not surrounded by Asian people all 1025 00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,359 Speaker 1: the time. I'm not, Like I haven't been exposed enough. 1026 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,359 Speaker 1: And that's my fault. I gotta put myself in more situations, 1027 00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,920 Speaker 1: that's the problem. Yeah, you know. Um, so thank you 1028 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,560 Speaker 1: for doing that case study. You gotta get to your podcast. 1029 00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,680 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, all right, Well we gotta go to break anyway, 1030 00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:04,600 Speaker 1: we'll say goodbye, thank you. Is there anything you would 1031 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,440 Speaker 1: like to leave us with before we leave? Any other 1032 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:07,880 Speaker 1: final Um? Do you want to call me out for 1033 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 1: any hilarious things? I mean, I called you out many times? No, No, 1034 00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:18,960 Speaker 1: I'm I'm a good person. And so I just want 1035 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,160 Speaker 1: to say, you know, life is like a party you're 1036 00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,080 Speaker 1: not invited to, You're not there for a long time, 1037 00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:28,960 Speaker 1: and while you're there, eat up all the shrips. Okay, 1038 00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:33,919 Speaker 1: be and Ian with Jordan Padreon dot com slashing Ian 1039 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,080 Speaker 1: pod Nick. I love you. I couldn't have had a 1040 00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,600 Speaker 1: better You are such a good day. I love you 1041 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:43,799 Speaker 1: and and and honestly, man, I am such a diehard 1042 00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,640 Speaker 1: sale Oh my god, you went and saw Jack and 1043 00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,360 Speaker 1: Jill in the theaters twice, so he was like, it 1044 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,000 Speaker 1: was the perfect person. Jack and Jill in theaters twice. 1045 00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:55,040 Speaker 1: I've seen the Cobbler three times. Like, I don't even 1046 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:58,239 Speaker 1: know what the Sandler shaped who I am as a 1047 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:01,520 Speaker 1: person with comedy, how I view my friendships, how I 1048 00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:05,840 Speaker 1: view uh, just treating people. He's his ability to be 1049 00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:10,600 Speaker 1: sincere and funny and cute and heartfelt but also silly, 1050 00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,960 Speaker 1: like really shaped my ethos with comedy. So to be 1051 00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,719 Speaker 1: there for that was awesome. It was such it was 1052 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,680 Speaker 1: such a surreal, wonderful moment. I can't thank you enough 1053 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,360 Speaker 1: for inviting me, giving me the pep talk. I love you, 1054 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:28,239 Speaker 1: and I love and Noah. I wish you all the 1055 00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,480 Speaker 1: shrimps and um, you know, I just hope one day 1056 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:37,640 Speaker 1: you guys will stop being racist. Anyway. Uh, okay, let's 1057 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,120 Speaker 1: go to break and come back with more and we're 1058 00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:43,279 Speaker 1: gonna read it up. All right, we're back. Ian Is 1059 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,279 Speaker 1: now is no longer with us. And did he die 1060 00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:54,040 Speaker 1: from your mouth? Um? No? Uh? God love him? What? 1061 00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:58,760 Speaker 1: What an insane person? And he's the best kind option. 1062 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:01,920 Speaker 1: It's so kind, so fun to be around. Just a hoot. 1063 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,800 Speaker 1: Um has so much anxiety that you were not allowed 1064 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,120 Speaker 1: to have any So it's like it was so he 1065 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,480 Speaker 1: was such a bundle of nerves that it was like 1066 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,719 Speaker 1: it calmed me down, which is a good maybe a 1067 00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,279 Speaker 1: good device. Just you know, it's interesting to hear you 1068 00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:18,440 Speaker 1: are so nurturing and like it's okay calming his restless 1069 00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:21,360 Speaker 1: leg and oh yeah, because he kept his leg was 1070 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,200 Speaker 1: jumping and the whole row would shake and it's really annoying. 1071 00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:27,080 Speaker 1: Like have you ever been in a seat that's attached 1072 00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,360 Speaker 1: to someone who's shaking their leg? Like yes, remember the 1073 00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,279 Speaker 1: guy on the plane that I was too scared to 1074 00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:33,600 Speaker 1: talk to him because he was drinking all those whiskeys 1075 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,799 Speaker 1: in a row and then he was adeptivty Yeah, that's 1076 00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:39,000 Speaker 1: too scary. That was I. I advised you not to 1077 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,440 Speaker 1: do anything, but I just was gently like putting my 1078 00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:44,040 Speaker 1: hand on Ean's leg and he go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, 1079 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:45,799 Speaker 1: and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, it's okay. 1080 00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:47,680 Speaker 1: I'm just letting you be aware of it, like because 1081 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,120 Speaker 1: it would start up right again, like he was a 1082 00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:56,319 Speaker 1: dog falling off other people's plates. Yeah, he's just trying 1083 00:56:56,360 --> 00:57:01,000 Speaker 1: to loosen up some prawns. Um So, any any news 1084 00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:06,440 Speaker 1: from your world this weekend? Anya? Um? Any highlights? Any highlights? 1085 00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:09,400 Speaker 1: Mad is back. He was at south By Southwest with 1086 00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,840 Speaker 1: his band, The Natural Lines. So the end of my 1087 00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:16,320 Speaker 1: time alone happened. It's over. Oh yeah, you were alone 1088 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,320 Speaker 1: for like five days alone. Yeah. But he's home and 1089 00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,480 Speaker 1: it's nice to have him back, and you know, just 1090 00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:26,840 Speaker 1: seems Yeah, it's great to have him. It's great to 1091 00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,440 Speaker 1: be reunited. I don't have a boyfriend right now. It's um. 1092 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,480 Speaker 1: People keep going like house Chris and I go, we 1093 00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,760 Speaker 1: eve an arrangement now when he is on these jobs, 1094 00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,160 Speaker 1: I tell him, you don't need to worry about me 1095 00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,440 Speaker 1: at all. If you want to text me and reach out, 1096 00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:41,640 Speaker 1: you can, But like, I don't even want to reach 1097 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,120 Speaker 1: out to you, because I know so many people are 1098 00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:46,560 Speaker 1: like I know, his texts are just flooded, and he's 1099 00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,320 Speaker 1: not getting back to anyone because he's so in the 1100 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,360 Speaker 1: tunnel of work that I don't even want to add 1101 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,800 Speaker 1: to it by being like, good night, babe. So it's 1102 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:57,080 Speaker 1: just like he's on the show alone, like he's he's 1103 00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:02,280 Speaker 1: out in the wilderness. I don't even weird. We're not 1104 00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:05,400 Speaker 1: to like I. You know, it's like that Taylor Stift song. 1105 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:09,120 Speaker 1: It's like when they asked me if I have a boyfriend, 1106 00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:11,760 Speaker 1: I can still say I don't remember. People were like, 1107 00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,800 Speaker 1: how's your boyfriend. I'm like, I, oh, I have one. 1108 00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:15,520 Speaker 1: I don't remember. Like I had a little break. It's 1109 00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:17,520 Speaker 1: not like I was like doing anything during that time. 1110 00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:20,040 Speaker 1: I was like not a single lady, but I didn't 1111 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,200 Speaker 1: have to worry about a relationship whatsoever. And he also 1112 00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,760 Speaker 1: because in the past we've gone through these times and 1113 00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:27,880 Speaker 1: it's like he has to steal away and put in 1114 00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,920 Speaker 1: more effort. I just like to give him, and he 1115 00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,560 Speaker 1: the same for me, like he always gives me the 1116 00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,760 Speaker 1: benefit when I'm going through like a special taping or 1117 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,240 Speaker 1: like a really hard week of work that I don't 1118 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:39,240 Speaker 1: have to be girlfriend. I don't need to be like 1119 00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:43,160 Speaker 1: checking in on him like anything that will like cloud 1120 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:48,080 Speaker 1: this myopic line of tunnel vision towards the end of 1121 00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,640 Speaker 1: this show that you're doing you don't need in your life. 1122 00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,920 Speaker 1: So it was really nice to give him that and 1123 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,640 Speaker 1: to both understand each other and be like because he 1124 00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:57,920 Speaker 1: did the breeding and the Beast live in November, and 1125 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,240 Speaker 1: I was a little bit like, you weren't around owned 1126 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:02,680 Speaker 1: a lot murmurmur, and so this time I was like, 1127 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:04,520 Speaker 1: I promise, I'm not going to pull that shit. There's 1128 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,560 Speaker 1: no way I'm even if I do, I'm not going 1129 00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,720 Speaker 1: to let you know like you I don't have a 1130 00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:10,720 Speaker 1: right too because I'm giving you the license to like. 1131 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:15,040 Speaker 1: You don't have to. We're not this. I'm dating someone 1132 00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,320 Speaker 1: who cannot give me anything during those weeks. And if 1133 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:18,800 Speaker 1: even if you wanted to, I wouldn't want you to 1134 00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:20,280 Speaker 1: because I want you to get rusted. I don't need 1135 00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:21,960 Speaker 1: you to call me. I'd rather you be sleeping during 1136 00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:26,240 Speaker 1: those times. Take care of yourself. So yeah, at last week, 1137 00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:29,000 Speaker 1: because I was proud of myself because this is the 1138 00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:32,600 Speaker 1: first relationship I've ever been in where it's secure and 1139 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,400 Speaker 1: the guy is like communicating with me plenty, and I'm 1140 00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:40,040 Speaker 1: you know, I don't have the need to feel anxious 1141 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,760 Speaker 1: or jealous or anything. I'm just like, I'm good, I'm 1142 00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 1: happy alone. He's texting me throughout the day. We're connected. 1143 00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,880 Speaker 1: It's nice, you know, not a lot, just like how 1144 00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:53,320 Speaker 1: how are you? But then the last day, something weird 1145 00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,920 Speaker 1: happened because my last big relationship, which was as we 1146 00:59:57,040 --> 01:00:00,640 Speaker 1: all know, decades ago, that person would go on tour 1147 01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,400 Speaker 1: and then I would find out later all these horrible 1148 01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:07,840 Speaker 1: things happened like years later, years later, or even something 1149 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:11,720 Speaker 1: like one time. I remember I flew to New Zealand 1150 01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:14,960 Speaker 1: and then he came off the tour bus and I 1151 01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,440 Speaker 1: saw him like walking with all the very beginning of 1152 01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:21,760 Speaker 1: your dating right like barely made it official. Maybe you 1153 01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:24,240 Speaker 1: hadn't made it official, but you thought it was. I 1154 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,160 Speaker 1: think we had been dating six weeks and I had 1155 01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:29,640 Speaker 1: just maybe moved in with him, very it was very rash, 1156 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:34,320 Speaker 1: it's real, but I hadn't talked to him in a while. Anyway, 1157 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,680 Speaker 1: I fly all the way to New Zealand from San Diego, 1158 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,600 Speaker 1: was like nineteen hours all in, and he's getting off 1159 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:41,560 Speaker 1: the bus and I see him, and he's all disheveled 1160 01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:45,760 Speaker 1: and then like he sits down and and I like 1161 01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:49,200 Speaker 1: my gut went off like red alert, and I was like, 1162 01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:54,000 Speaker 1: you didn't, like nothing bad happened. Did it last night 1163 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:57,400 Speaker 1: or something? And he was like, I mean, I'm a guy. 1164 01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna kiss other girls. And I remember like, fuck, 1165 01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:06,960 Speaker 1: this is not the relationship I thought it was. This 1166 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,720 Speaker 1: is not this is a bad scene. You have to 1167 01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,160 Speaker 1: get out of this. And I was so exhausted after 1168 01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,280 Speaker 1: that nineteen now word traveled. I just remember thinking like, 1169 01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,920 Speaker 1: this is the moment where you set the scene for 1170 01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:22,120 Speaker 1: what you will. Yes, yes, And I just remember being like, 1171 01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:25,960 Speaker 1: you're a guy. You're a guy, You're gonna kiss other girls. 1172 01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:29,080 Speaker 1: So you kissed other girls? And he was like, I mean, yeah, 1173 01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,120 Speaker 1: I'm a guy. I don't want to talk about it. 1174 01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:35,080 Speaker 1: I'm tired. And I just remember like I stayed because 1175 01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:36,960 Speaker 1: I thought I was looking at my suitcase and like 1176 01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:38,960 Speaker 1: I should just get on the plane and fly home. 1177 01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,680 Speaker 1: This is bullshit, and I'm like I'm just too tired. 1178 01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:43,840 Speaker 1: And it was like a fancy tour. It was like 1179 01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:47,320 Speaker 1: a four seasons hotel, speaking of four seasons, and I 1180 01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:50,960 Speaker 1: just stayed for six years. How many times in relationships 1181 01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:55,040 Speaker 1: have there's been that moment where whether it's like they 1182 01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,800 Speaker 1: cheat on you or they just say something really shitty 1183 01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:00,360 Speaker 1: or like, and you have that chance of like, I 1184 01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,600 Speaker 1: could get out now and say I don't tolerate this, 1185 01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,200 Speaker 1: but I'm sorry. There's something about when you tolerate it 1186 01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,800 Speaker 1: that you kind of give them the green light to like, yeah, 1187 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,800 Speaker 1: treat me like shit, and then they don't respect you 1188 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,800 Speaker 1: because they just gave you a little test and you 1189 01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:21,000 Speaker 1: failed it by being weak and like, but all that's why. 1190 01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:25,040 Speaker 1: There's like this girl and our group of friends, a 1191 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,120 Speaker 1: friend of a friend of a friend, and she is 1192 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,360 Speaker 1: like dating a new guy and it's getting to the 1193 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,800 Speaker 1: point where they might sleep together and there's nothing official 1194 01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:34,360 Speaker 1: on the table, and she's like, didn't sleep with them yet. 1195 01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:37,040 Speaker 1: They've only hooked up one time. They did hanky panky, 1196 01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,200 Speaker 1: but nothing suit like, no sex, and she's like, I'll 1197 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,840 Speaker 1: probably sleep with them next time. And I don't even 1198 01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:44,240 Speaker 1: know this girl, And I'm telling my friend tell her 1199 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:48,200 Speaker 1: not to fuck him, please God, for the love of God, 1200 01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,680 Speaker 1: she really likes him, she feels like she could be 1201 01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,160 Speaker 1: falling in love with him. For the love of God. 1202 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:56,680 Speaker 1: Fight every instinct you have, and do not sleep with him. 1203 01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,840 Speaker 1: Don't convince yourself that, no, this one's gonna be different. 1204 01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,880 Speaker 1: He's not going to respect you more after you sleep 1205 01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:06,040 Speaker 1: with him and you have not talked about being exclusive. 1206 01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,440 Speaker 1: He's gonna think you do this. He's gonna subconsciously think 1207 01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,240 Speaker 1: you do this with every guy, that you're kind of easy, 1208 01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:12,800 Speaker 1: and he's gonna value you less. And I know that 1209 01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:16,280 Speaker 1: they come off like an encouragement to play a game. 1210 01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:19,280 Speaker 1: It is not not to speak for you, Nikki, but 1211 01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:22,000 Speaker 1: this is not like don't fuck him in order to 1212 01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:27,320 Speaker 1: get x Y, play Monopoly or sorry, or just anything 1213 01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,680 Speaker 1: to keep him from your dick in his dick inside you, 1214 01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:33,480 Speaker 1: because after the dicks inside you, the game is up. Man. 1215 01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:38,520 Speaker 1: It's more like, listen to your true gut feeling. Is 1216 01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:41,120 Speaker 1: it that you're dying to have sex with him so 1217 01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:43,520 Speaker 1: much and you can't wait, or is it that you're 1218 01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:45,880 Speaker 1: terrified that you'll lose him if you don't have sex 1219 01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,000 Speaker 1: with him? Right, I'll tell you. For me, it was 1220 01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,600 Speaker 1: always the terrified I'll lose him, he'll lose interest, And 1221 01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,400 Speaker 1: I'd convince myself, no, no, no, I'm just really horny. 1222 01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,640 Speaker 1: No no, no, I wasn't really horny. I mean, of 1223 01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:58,880 Speaker 1: course it was exciting and I was horny, but yes, 1224 01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:00,680 Speaker 1: it was also just like I want him to be 1225 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,120 Speaker 1: my boyfriend. And if like your joke or you're like, 1226 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,640 Speaker 1: we women think if we give you things, you'll like us, 1227 01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,880 Speaker 1: so we like this same give you stuff like, oh 1228 01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:10,480 Speaker 1: he wants this, he'll be mad at me if I 1229 01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:12,360 Speaker 1: don't get it, and then he won't like me anymore. 1230 01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:16,360 Speaker 1: And it is. It's that works for almost everything except actually, 1231 01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:18,560 Speaker 1: don't give him gifts. That's another rule in that book. 1232 01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,360 Speaker 1: Not a rule, but like, don't give them gifts. They 1233 01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:24,480 Speaker 1: don't they want to win you over. And but we're 1234 01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:27,520 Speaker 1: so used to being people pleasers that we cannot put 1235 01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:30,160 Speaker 1: that aside in relationships, and we think that we can. 1236 01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:31,840 Speaker 1: Like remember when you were like going to buy that 1237 01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,280 Speaker 1: guy a rug that you didn't that didn't like like 1238 01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:37,960 Speaker 1: he was not, and you were like, oh my god, 1239 01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:42,080 Speaker 1: I wish I had that cool, but you know what, 1240 01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:45,720 Speaker 1: I bought myself one from the same store. It's right 1241 01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:49,120 Speaker 1: here and it's good, but you could have two. I know. 1242 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:51,720 Speaker 1: It was bigger than this, And there was a part 1243 01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:53,600 Speaker 1: of you that was like, he's gonna feel nurtured, like 1244 01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,440 Speaker 1: did you make him cookies at one point too or 1245 01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:58,680 Speaker 1: was that a different guy? A lot? Let let me stress, 1246 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:02,480 Speaker 1: not gift from so long ago, like three years. Yeah, 1247 01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,800 Speaker 1: and Madden, you are not together because of any of this. 1248 01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:07,080 Speaker 1: There's no you never gave Matt a gift, and when 1249 01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:09,320 Speaker 1: you did, you guys were not together because you tried 1250 01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,040 Speaker 1: some of this with Matt and it did not work, 1251 01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:14,600 Speaker 1: and you guys were not together. Actively nothing worked with 1252 01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:18,400 Speaker 1: my current relationship until I finally started to truly love 1253 01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:21,760 Speaker 1: and respect myself. And sounds like a cliche, but yeah, 1254 01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,240 Speaker 1: to be like, no, I what I really want, if 1255 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm honest, is a relationship. Yeah, that's what I really 1256 01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,160 Speaker 1: of course I want to have sex with them, and 1257 01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,600 Speaker 1: all that stuff like what I really want gets in 1258 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:33,600 Speaker 1: their heads is they're like, but I want sex. I 1259 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:35,880 Speaker 1: love sex, and I deserve it. I'm not going to 1260 01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:38,840 Speaker 1: deprive myself. And it's like, you don't know what you're doing. 1261 01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:41,000 Speaker 1: You can lie to yourself all day about how sex 1262 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:43,440 Speaker 1: feels good, go fucking masturbate. Then you want to have 1263 01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:45,840 Speaker 1: sex because you think they're gonna like you more after it, 1264 01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:48,000 Speaker 1: and also you do want to have it too, But 1265 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,720 Speaker 1: just because you want something does not mean and I've 1266 01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:54,560 Speaker 1: said this in my special before, people like predicate their 1267 01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,240 Speaker 1: whole lives and their whole personalities. I like because I 1268 01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,280 Speaker 1: want it. It's like I want, I want why I'm 1269 01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:01,479 Speaker 1: not gonna I want to have some of them because 1270 01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:03,560 Speaker 1: I want to because it feels good. I can't be 1271 01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:06,400 Speaker 1: vegan because I like Jeee and I like me. It's like, well, 1272 01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:08,680 Speaker 1: I would also like to murder someone sometimes. There are 1273 01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:10,280 Speaker 1: times where I would like to drive up on the 1274 01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:13,160 Speaker 1: sidewalk and run over someone, just to see how it 1275 01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:16,200 Speaker 1: feels on my car, hitting the car and like going 1276 01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:21,960 Speaker 1: It would literally soothe me to sometimes and in public 1277 01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,400 Speaker 1: slap a child that's crying or just go shut the 1278 01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:28,040 Speaker 1: fuck up, you're a bad parent. I would love to 1279 01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:30,480 Speaker 1: do it, but I don't because it doesn't work for 1280 01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:33,600 Speaker 1: my life. So these things that always feel good to us, 1281 01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:35,920 Speaker 1: why do we get to do whatever we want and 1282 01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,640 Speaker 1: when it suits us? There's always an excuse of like, 1283 01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:41,680 Speaker 1: but I want to because you know what, that's the 1284 01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:43,919 Speaker 1: fucking paradox of being a person. And we talked about 1285 01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:47,480 Speaker 1: this before, of like you're supposed to like nurture yourself 1286 01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:50,040 Speaker 1: and be good to yourself and relax and self care. 1287 01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,960 Speaker 1: But then there's also that like you gotta never quit 1288 01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:56,640 Speaker 1: in the middle, drive till the end, work hard, passion, 1289 01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:00,440 Speaker 1: like struggle. There's like we get mixed messaging all the 1290 01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,600 Speaker 1: fucking time, so I don't even know what you should do. 1291 01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:07,000 Speaker 1: I'm full mixed messages myself, but I will convince ourselves that, like, 1292 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,800 Speaker 1: if we have sex with them, then they'll be my boyfriend. 1293 01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:15,320 Speaker 1: And it's so unfortunately it never happens. There's always one 1294 01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:18,120 Speaker 1: girl where we slept together on the first night. Well, 1295 01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:20,320 Speaker 1: that's because your boyfriend likes women who do that. You 1296 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,400 Speaker 1: he has a mom that was kind of like ballsy 1297 01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:26,840 Speaker 1: and crazy and kooky, and that work. Like it's rare 1298 01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:29,240 Speaker 1: that that happens. It's like one person out of every 1299 01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:31,200 Speaker 1: audience that I go, have you ever slept with a 1300 01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:33,080 Speaker 1: guy in the first night, Like there's always one girl 1301 01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:34,840 Speaker 1: that's like I slept with my husband on the first night. 1302 01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:37,800 Speaker 1: It's like, okay, So yes, there are anomalies, but by 1303 01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,720 Speaker 1: and large, if you're single now and you've been sleeping 1304 01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:42,560 Speaker 1: with guys on the first date or second date or 1305 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:45,560 Speaker 1: third date or before you have a relationship and you're single, 1306 01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,720 Speaker 1: it has not worked for you yet. It hasn't worked 1307 01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,080 Speaker 1: for you yet, it hasn't led to a lasting relationship. 1308 01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:53,600 Speaker 1: That because I'm thinking you won a lasting relationship. So 1309 01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:56,760 Speaker 1: look at the data that you have and it's a 1310 01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:02,720 Speaker 1: it's hard, it's a hard swallow that say that. Okay, 1311 01:08:02,840 --> 01:08:06,400 Speaker 1: final thought, let's do a quick a couple quick Reddit 1312 01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:13,880 Speaker 1: dumps karaoke mode. This is your Reddit dump. Okay, so 1313 01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:16,560 Speaker 1: this is to me. I r L for me, I 1314 01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:19,560 Speaker 1: r L to me in real life. For me, in 1315 01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:22,720 Speaker 1: real life, it says dudes will make zero moves on 1316 01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:25,439 Speaker 1: their crush and then proceed to post this and then 1317 01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:29,080 Speaker 1: it's like this moody post of like this like anime 1318 01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:32,040 Speaker 1: character smoking a cigarette and it just says, maybe I'm 1319 01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:35,400 Speaker 1: meant to be lonely. It's like maybe laugh so hard 1320 01:08:35,520 --> 01:08:37,720 Speaker 1: because we've all done things like this. This isn't just 1321 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:41,040 Speaker 1: a dude thing. But like you, I would always get 1322 01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:43,519 Speaker 1: so upset that guys didn't like me or like wouldn't 1323 01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:44,960 Speaker 1: make a move. I mean I would get mad at 1324 01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:47,160 Speaker 1: guys that wouldn't make a move but they had I 1325 01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:49,360 Speaker 1: was giving them no indication that it would be okay 1326 01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:52,799 Speaker 1: to make a move. But also, you can't get upset 1327 01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:55,720 Speaker 1: when you get rejected, when you have not taken, when 1328 01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:57,879 Speaker 1: you haven't put yourself out there, when you haven't accepted 1329 01:08:57,920 --> 01:08:59,960 Speaker 1: the invite to the Mark Twain Prize Award. You can't 1330 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:03,000 Speaker 1: aunt like you can't live in the wreckage of a 1331 01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:06,080 Speaker 1: thing you didn't even do yet, like you gotta take chances. 1332 01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:09,639 Speaker 1: Would you ever do, Adam Sandler? I would? I would. 1333 01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:11,720 Speaker 1: I was always making the first move always, which is 1334 01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:13,639 Speaker 1: a bad which is not a good noise to women 1335 01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:15,800 Speaker 1: for women to do women, you're supposed to make a 1336 01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:18,599 Speaker 1: prolonged eye contact, touched them a lot, like give indicators 1337 01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:20,680 Speaker 1: of interest, which I would never do. But there are 1338 01:09:20,720 --> 01:09:22,920 Speaker 1: things women can do to get men to make a move. 1339 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,559 Speaker 1: But men, you got you gotta just go like can 1340 01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,240 Speaker 1: I kiss you right now? Just ask that? And I 1341 01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:30,720 Speaker 1: know that's awkward, and um. Adam Sandler actually there was 1342 01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:32,920 Speaker 1: an old clip from his stand up early days last 1343 01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,479 Speaker 1: night and he was like, just ask her. He got 1344 01:09:35,520 --> 01:09:37,400 Speaker 1: advice from his dad. He's like, just to ask her out. 1345 01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:39,080 Speaker 1: What's the worst. The worst she can say is no, 1346 01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:41,080 Speaker 1: And she was like, get away from you, ugly freak, 1347 01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:43,920 Speaker 1: And he goes, hey, you just you didn't follow the rules, 1348 01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:46,240 Speaker 1: or he says something about like the worst she could 1349 01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:48,400 Speaker 1: do is not no, it could be like very hurtful, 1350 01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:51,240 Speaker 1: and that's the thing everyone's scared of. Okay, this is 1351 01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:55,160 Speaker 1: from me I R l Um. It's a tweet from 1352 01:09:55,560 --> 01:10:00,320 Speaker 1: Culture Cultural Savage. Um. I just saw someone saying you 1353 01:10:00,439 --> 01:10:03,320 Speaker 1: didn't make good choices, you had good choices, and I 1354 01:10:03,439 --> 01:10:05,560 Speaker 1: am completely floored. I mean, what a great way to 1355 01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:09,040 Speaker 1: talk about privilege. You didn't make good choices. You had 1356 01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:12,320 Speaker 1: good choices, which is like how I feel about everyone 1357 01:10:12,439 --> 01:10:15,080 Speaker 1: that has anything in the world that you want. It's 1358 01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:17,120 Speaker 1: not because they were better than you and made better 1359 01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:20,880 Speaker 1: choices in life. They had better choices. You were born 1360 01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:23,720 Speaker 1: with shittier parents than them. You were born in a 1361 01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:27,040 Speaker 1: shittier town than them. You were born in a socioeconomic 1362 01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:29,880 Speaker 1: era or time that didn't afford you to have the 1363 01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,639 Speaker 1: same opportunities. Don't compare yourself to others because it generally 1364 01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:34,640 Speaker 1: is just about the fucking pussy you came out of 1365 01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:38,400 Speaker 1: and the circumstances. Nothing You yourself are flawed and are 1366 01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:40,479 Speaker 1: doing wrong. I have a friend I need to send 1367 01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:46,280 Speaker 1: that to. Okay, this is a word of the day. 1368 01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:49,280 Speaker 1: This is a tweet from Susie Underscore Dent. Word of 1369 01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:53,839 Speaker 1: the day is latibulate lat ibu l at seventeenth century 1370 01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:56,879 Speaker 1: to hide in a corner in an attempt to escape reality. 1371 01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:59,320 Speaker 1: And then someone said, okay, well we're bringing that back obviously, 1372 01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:03,320 Speaker 1: the hide in the corner and attempt to escape reality. 1373 01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:05,519 Speaker 1: I mean, I've never done that before, but um, I 1374 01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,519 Speaker 1: think I kind of wanted to do it last night 1375 01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:11,559 Speaker 1: at times. Um. And then this is if you're doing 1376 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:14,040 Speaker 1: it under the covers. I do that every day. Yeah, 1377 01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:16,560 Speaker 1: you do under the covers a lot. Um. What is that? 1378 01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:21,160 Speaker 1: My arms get cold and I just don't want them cold. 1379 01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:24,240 Speaker 1: But sometimes I just brought my phone up on a 1380 01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:26,400 Speaker 1: pillow and then I put them under the covers and 1381 01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,040 Speaker 1: then my head is out. I don't like my head 1382 01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:30,920 Speaker 1: to get hot. Yeah, I have to air it out 1383 01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,160 Speaker 1: a lot. But I like to be in my clothes. 1384 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:34,760 Speaker 1: And then I get on top of the bed. But 1385 01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:37,840 Speaker 1: then there's another cover that's very light. Oh you don't 1386 01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:42,519 Speaker 1: go in the bed itself because it's a cave. Okay, 1387 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:46,120 Speaker 1: all right, it feels so soothing. Try it. I'm not 1388 01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:48,360 Speaker 1: going to. But um, because I just get up straight 1389 01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:50,519 Speaker 1: up in bed, I'll get in like why I don't. 1390 01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:52,720 Speaker 1: I don't need to not get in bed, But why 1391 01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:54,080 Speaker 1: do you not get in bed because you don't want 1392 01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:56,000 Speaker 1: to mess up your covers? I do it both, like 1393 01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:58,400 Speaker 1: when I'm when it's nighttime and I'm ready to sleep, 1394 01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:01,080 Speaker 1: I do it. But it gets until he's earned it, 1395 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:06,160 Speaker 1: until you made a work for it, until you have 1396 01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:10,800 Speaker 1: a lasting relationship based on honestine truth with your bed. Okay, 1397 01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,679 Speaker 1: today I learned. This is today I learned. Cute aggression, 1398 01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,640 Speaker 1: or the urge to squeeze cute animals or babies, is 1399 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:20,880 Speaker 1: the brain's coping mechanism to temper the onslaught of positive feelings. 1400 01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:23,960 Speaker 1: Because if you find yourself incapacitated by how cute a 1401 01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,479 Speaker 1: baby is, so much so that you simply can't take 1402 01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:29,439 Speaker 1: care of it, that baby is going to starve. So 1403 01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:33,360 Speaker 1: if you we have that, we want to eat babies 1404 01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:36,160 Speaker 1: because it means that we want to get close to them, 1405 01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:39,000 Speaker 1: and that urge is better than something so cute. We 1406 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,000 Speaker 1: don't want to touch it and mess it up. We 1407 01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:44,280 Speaker 1: have more of an urge to squeeze it. So because 1408 01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,479 Speaker 1: if something was too cute, we'd be like, oh, I'm 1409 01:12:46,479 --> 01:12:48,280 Speaker 1: just gonna I'm gonna ruin it and mess it up, 1410 01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:50,160 Speaker 1: and like, I don't want to mess up this perfectly 1411 01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:54,160 Speaker 1: pristine baby. So evolutionarily we want to like hold things 1412 01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:57,000 Speaker 1: and smother it so that they get more hands on. Well, 1413 01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:59,840 Speaker 1: this ruin of something you post on Instagram a little 1414 01:12:59,840 --> 01:13:02,960 Speaker 1: while back, and I related to it so much because 1415 01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:05,479 Speaker 1: I feel this way about my cat Buzzy. And a 1416 01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:08,599 Speaker 1: couple of months ago, or like like six months ago 1417 01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:11,680 Speaker 1: or so, you posted a video of Luigi on the 1418 01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:14,720 Speaker 1: balcony and you're like, he's so fucking cute. I just 1419 01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:19,160 Speaker 1: want to murder him. Yes, And I just squeeze my 1420 01:13:19,240 --> 01:13:22,400 Speaker 1: cat to death because I love him so much. I know. 1421 01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:26,519 Speaker 1: Is it that's a biological urge? It's good, yes, because 1422 01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:28,160 Speaker 1: it makes us want to get close to them, as 1423 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:30,560 Speaker 1: opposed to like, if you love something so much, you 1424 01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:31,960 Speaker 1: don't want to touch it because you don't want to 1425 01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:35,120 Speaker 1: mess it up. Okay, but do you ever want to 1426 01:13:35,439 --> 01:13:39,240 Speaker 1: squeeze your dog's paws because they're just so like sometimes 1427 01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:42,120 Speaker 1: I have to. I was doing it with a puppy 1428 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:44,280 Speaker 1: the other day. I was like, oh yeah. Then I 1429 01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:46,360 Speaker 1: was like, calm down, Like this is a little to 1430 01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:48,160 Speaker 1: do much. I did it with Forest the other day. 1431 01:13:48,320 --> 01:13:50,920 Speaker 1: My nephew and was just like, oh, and I I 1432 01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:52,880 Speaker 1: could just feel it. It was like getting a little 1433 01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:55,680 Speaker 1: too tight. But I was like, I just gotta squeeze 1434 01:13:55,760 --> 01:13:58,280 Speaker 1: some baby juice out of you, Like I just want 1435 01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:03,000 Speaker 1: to make a glass and chug it. Oh God. So 1436 01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:05,559 Speaker 1: that was interesting that I think that there's a reason 1437 01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,599 Speaker 1: we do that, and it's just so that we won't 1438 01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:11,080 Speaker 1: leave babies alone and they get so much love and attention. 1439 01:14:11,439 --> 01:14:13,160 Speaker 1: And let me just say, if you are a parent 1440 01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:16,360 Speaker 1: out there, the number one advice I have if your baby, 1441 01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:19,519 Speaker 1: if you want your baby to be successful, shower them 1442 01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:22,320 Speaker 1: with confidence. Make them feel that no matter who they are, 1443 01:14:22,439 --> 01:14:25,679 Speaker 1: they can do whatever. Don't have any doubt in them ever, 1444 01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:27,960 Speaker 1: even if it's delusional, even if you know that they're 1445 01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:30,479 Speaker 1: not the best at something, Convince them they're the best 1446 01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:34,400 Speaker 1: at everything, and you will make a millionaire baby who 1447 01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:37,000 Speaker 1: will take care of you. And all the lack of 1448 01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:39,000 Speaker 1: self esteem that you have from your parents who did 1449 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:43,000 Speaker 1: not counterintuitive to like the last generation, which everyone's raising 1450 01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:45,960 Speaker 1: kids that are now like you know, twelve thirteen fourteen, 1451 01:14:46,040 --> 01:14:48,479 Speaker 1: with the new values of like I'm not going to 1452 01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:50,759 Speaker 1: tell them they're so special all the time because that's bullshit. 1453 01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:53,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to just be realistic, like, that's great, you 1454 01:14:53,160 --> 01:14:56,680 Speaker 1: did a great job. So you're saying through the opposite, Oh, 1455 01:14:56,880 --> 01:15:00,880 Speaker 1: absolutely make your kid feel they have the potential to 1456 01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:03,080 Speaker 1: do anything that. Oh well, if if you're not good 1457 01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:05,280 Speaker 1: at that, it's just because you didn't practice enough. That 1458 01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:07,840 Speaker 1: is that's the secret. It's like instill in them the 1459 01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:09,920 Speaker 1: work ethic. But let them know that that is there, 1460 01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:12,719 Speaker 1: because that is actually true. You are capable of anything 1461 01:15:12,760 --> 01:15:14,720 Speaker 1: if you put in enough hours to it. And that 1462 01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:17,000 Speaker 1: is what I think I lacked in my life, was 1463 01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:19,080 Speaker 1: like you either have it or you don't. And the 1464 01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:22,040 Speaker 1: thing is anything could be gleaned from enough practice. And 1465 01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:24,479 Speaker 1: if kids are understand that and are instilled with that 1466 01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:28,479 Speaker 1: belief in themselves, they are unstoppable. And all of my 1467 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:32,160 Speaker 1: friends who are the biggest megastars that you know, the 1468 01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:36,559 Speaker 1: biggest names, someone told them that they were the best 1469 01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:39,320 Speaker 1: and they believed it from the get go. And I 1470 01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:42,320 Speaker 1: sometimes have glimmers of it, but it's something I've had 1471 01:15:42,360 --> 01:15:44,519 Speaker 1: to teach myself as opposed to it was like just 1472 01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:47,200 Speaker 1: in me, I got it a little bit. But do 1473 01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:49,400 Speaker 1: your kids a favor and just believe in them. No 1474 01:15:49,520 --> 01:15:52,640 Speaker 1: matter what. And I'll never be a parent, so I 1475 01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:54,800 Speaker 1: can't do that with any kids, but like, if I 1476 01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:57,439 Speaker 1: can teach you how to parent, not that you would 1477 01:15:57,439 --> 01:15:59,439 Speaker 1: ever take my advice, but that is the number one 1478 01:15:59,479 --> 01:16:00,880 Speaker 1: thing that I would do if I were a parent. 1479 01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:02,800 Speaker 1: It's just make my child feel like they can do anything, 1480 01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:06,200 Speaker 1: and that the prettiest, and I would say prettiest Honestly, 1481 01:16:06,240 --> 01:16:09,040 Speaker 1: I know we're not supposed to comment on looks, strongest, prettiest, 1482 01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:12,160 Speaker 1: most beautiful, all of the things lie lie, lie, lie, 1483 01:16:12,280 --> 01:16:15,560 Speaker 1: and they will be Adam Sandlers levels of fame. No, 1484 01:16:16,040 --> 01:16:18,920 Speaker 1: And they're generous because but be loving to them. Teach 1485 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:22,160 Speaker 1: them to love their family and love others, because that 1486 01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:24,439 Speaker 1: was the other thing I learned from Adam Sandler is 1487 01:16:24,520 --> 01:16:27,280 Speaker 1: that he loves his family and friends so much. He's 1488 01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:30,200 Speaker 1: put them in everything he does. He's his whole. He 1489 01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:33,120 Speaker 1: employs everyone he's ever worked with. And there were people 1490 01:16:33,160 --> 01:16:35,839 Speaker 1: there last night that I met that Adam knew in college, 1491 01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:38,240 Speaker 1: that they just were like friends in the dorm and 1492 01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:40,639 Speaker 1: like they're still friends, and he's like, Adam has still 1493 01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:42,040 Speaker 1: stayed in my life. He was like I never I 1494 01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:43,880 Speaker 1: went to all his comedy shows, but like I didn't 1495 01:16:43,880 --> 01:16:45,680 Speaker 1: go the comedy route, but he brought a lot of 1496 01:16:45,720 --> 01:16:48,479 Speaker 1: comedy people with them. But it's just it's just cool 1497 01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:50,560 Speaker 1: that Adam has kept it so in the family, and 1498 01:16:51,479 --> 01:16:54,000 Speaker 1: it's just it was all a really beautiful night about 1499 01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,600 Speaker 1: family and friends and speaking of so glad to have 1500 01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:59,439 Speaker 1: my two friends and doing this podcast today Antie and 1501 01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:04,479 Speaker 1: Finances too. He's you guys looked so happy and say 1502 01:17:04,560 --> 01:17:07,120 Speaker 1: on the Red carpet, I love those phos. That is 1503 01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:09,680 Speaker 1: always fun. That's like the happiest I've ever seen you 1504 01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:12,240 Speaker 1: on the Red carpet. It was. It was a little 1505 01:17:12,280 --> 01:17:14,400 Speaker 1: bit of a lie, but you know, you play it up. 1506 01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:16,639 Speaker 1: You're on the Red carpet. You're like, no, we're all 1507 01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:18,120 Speaker 1: crack it up. We had a great time. He was 1508 01:17:18,200 --> 01:17:20,000 Speaker 1: twirling that cane round and I was so happy for 1509 01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:24,639 Speaker 1: him because these getty images are so expensive, like these 1510 01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:26,400 Speaker 1: are not easy to get to get on the Red 1511 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:28,479 Speaker 1: Carpet is not easy, and so when I got him 1512 01:17:28,520 --> 01:17:30,240 Speaker 1: on it, I mean even me getting on it was 1513 01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:32,439 Speaker 1: a struggle. Chris had to pull a lot of strings 1514 01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:35,120 Speaker 1: and then um, and it was just so great to 1515 01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:36,400 Speaker 1: get him on it. So now he has all these 1516 01:17:36,439 --> 01:17:38,920 Speaker 1: like glamorous pictures of himself and he looked fucking great 1517 01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:41,439 Speaker 1: And I'm so happy and that you gave him that 1518 01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:44,040 Speaker 1: pep talk. I mean that that's a very important time. 1519 01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:46,479 Speaker 1: I told him. Took up on it again, I said, 1520 01:17:47,200 --> 01:17:49,959 Speaker 1: because of what you're saying when you aren't as successful 1521 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:51,280 Speaker 1: as you want to be. And I hear you bitching 1522 01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:53,680 Speaker 1: about it outside the cellar, sucking down to Marlborough red 1523 01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:56,720 Speaker 1: and talking about who got what you I will never 1524 01:17:56,880 --> 01:17:58,439 Speaker 1: listen to you say that again, because you were turning 1525 01:17:58,479 --> 01:18:02,680 Speaker 1: down this opportunity that could make you more successful. And um, 1526 01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:04,599 Speaker 1: and that's what you got to say, Like you can 1527 01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:07,599 Speaker 1: turn down these chances to be better and to get better, 1528 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,800 Speaker 1: but you better not complain about it, because you made 1529 01:18:09,840 --> 01:18:11,760 Speaker 1: your own bed. But that's why you're a good friend. 1530 01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:15,559 Speaker 1: Is a lot of people with recourage to say that, though, 1531 01:18:16,120 --> 01:18:18,439 Speaker 1: why what do you mean? Because I think most people 1532 01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:21,120 Speaker 1: aren't brave enough to say that, I really do. I 1533 01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:25,799 Speaker 1: think that's what makes you a good friend. My friends. 1534 01:18:25,920 --> 01:18:29,040 Speaker 1: Good friends is because they can tolerate hearing the cold, 1535 01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:31,280 Speaker 1: hard truth and not think that it means I'm mad 1536 01:18:31,320 --> 01:18:34,640 Speaker 1: at them, Like what's going to happen? Like is he 1537 01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:36,000 Speaker 1: going to be mad? At me if I say that, 1538 01:18:36,240 --> 01:18:38,840 Speaker 1: what's bad about what I said? Like, what are you scared? 1539 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,599 Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you say that to a friend? I'm sorry 1540 01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:43,000 Speaker 1: to get it. I don't necessarily feel that way, like 1541 01:18:43,120 --> 01:18:45,200 Speaker 1: I might be like if I got that text from him, 1542 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,320 Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, that's such a bummer. But okay, 1543 01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:52,000 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I was like, this is bullshit because he 1544 01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:54,560 Speaker 1: deserves to be there. I invited him and he's not 1545 01:18:54,640 --> 01:18:59,240 Speaker 1: going because he's scared. Stop doing things because you're scared. 1546 01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:02,559 Speaker 1: That is the number one thing. And if I could 1547 01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:04,880 Speaker 1: give any advice for people who didn't get a lot 1548 01:19:04,920 --> 01:19:06,720 Speaker 1: of encouragement thinking they were the best in the world. 1549 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,280 Speaker 1: When you are scared of something, say yes to it. 1550 01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:12,120 Speaker 1: That that is the surest side that you should do it, 1551 01:19:12,560 --> 01:19:14,639 Speaker 1: and just suck it up. Because no one's ever died 1552 01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:18,120 Speaker 1: of embarrassment. No one's ever died from a feeling literally ever, 1553 01:19:18,600 --> 01:19:21,720 Speaker 1: it's never happened. A feeling of embarrassment or anxiety has 1554 01:19:21,760 --> 01:19:23,439 Speaker 1: never killed anyone. I know you're gonna be like a 1555 01:19:23,520 --> 01:19:25,519 Speaker 1: heart attack, You're not gonna have a fucking heart attack. 1556 01:19:25,880 --> 01:19:27,720 Speaker 1: Just say yes to things that scare you. I do 1557 01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:29,760 Speaker 1: it all the time, including telling a story when I 1558 01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:31,479 Speaker 1: mixed up an Indian guy and a black guy and 1559 01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:33,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay. You might cancel me, but I 1560 01:19:33,680 --> 01:19:35,720 Speaker 1: home studio, I'm you're in Saint Louis. I'm gonna be fine, 1561 01:19:35,760 --> 01:19:37,439 Speaker 1: and I have my friends and family and that's what 1562 01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:39,479 Speaker 1: makes me rich in life. Thank you guys for listening 1563 01:19:39,479 --> 01:19:42,360 Speaker 1: to show dont Bika and Justice all the shriv