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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramas And this is the Street

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Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, bringing you your daily dose of timeless stoic philosophy,

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Speaker 1: a remix for the hip hop generation. We're combining philosophy

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Speaker 1: with lyrics in quotes from some of the greatest to

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Speaker 1: ever grace a microphone. Now, with that in mind, let's

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Speaker 1: get things started with your daily shot of inspiration. Now

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Speaker 1: today we're gonna be talking about the stoic idea of

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Speaker 1: focusing on what you can control, but more specifically when

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Speaker 1: it comes to being judged by others, and also accepting

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Speaker 1: the role that we inevitably play in that. Right now,

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Speaker 1: today we are going to be pulling from fifty cent

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Speaker 1: and this is actually from the book The Fiftieth Law.

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Speaker 1: He co wrote it with Robert Green. In the book,

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Speaker 1: he says, quote, understand, people judge you by appearances, the

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Speaker 1: image you project through your actions, words, and style. If

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Speaker 1: you do not take control of this process, then people

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Speaker 1: will define you the way they want to, often to

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Speaker 1: your detriment. And then he's saying so much in here,

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Speaker 1: but I think that that last line right when he's

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Speaker 1: talking about that if you don't take control of this process,

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Speaker 1: people will define you as they see fit. Right, So

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Speaker 1: it's really, you know, thinking about who you are and

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Speaker 1: how you want to be presented to the world. And

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Speaker 1: of course, you know, this kind of goes against the

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Speaker 1: idea that we can't control the thoughts of others and

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Speaker 1: others perceptions of us and this, that and the third.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think that's what we're really talking about here.

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Speaker 1: I think we're talking about kind of stepping into your

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Speaker 1: power and understanding that you're in so much control over

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Speaker 1: how others can or can't take advantage of you. Right.

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Speaker 1: You know, if you are focused on the way that

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Speaker 1: you are being portrayed, right, the way that you are

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Speaker 1: portraying yourself to others, right, be it as somebody who

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Speaker 1: is powerful and somebody who can't be screwed over. Right,

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Speaker 1: If you are very careful about the actions that you

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Speaker 1: take and the words that you speak, again, people are

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Speaker 1: are going to know that they can see you as

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Speaker 1: somebody who is you know, trustworthy, that they can count

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Speaker 1: on you because of the actions that you continuously take. Right.

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Speaker 1: And again, not everybody is going to see you the

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Speaker 1: way that you think you're presenting yourself. But this is

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Speaker 1: how we begin to kind of take action and control

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Speaker 1: how we are treated by others in the outside world,

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Speaker 1: you know, of course, to the best of our ability.

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Speaker 1: And this leads to a quote from one of the stoics,

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Speaker 1: Marcus Surrealius, where he says, if you are distressed by

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Speaker 1: anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself,

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Speaker 1: but your estimate of it. And this you have the

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Speaker 1: power to revoke at any moment. And I want to

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Speaker 1: focus on that last line, basically saying, at any point

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Speaker 1: you have the power to take control over your life,

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Speaker 1: any particular situation. And to me, what I get away

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Speaker 1: from from that quote is you know that that people

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Speaker 1: will do with you what you allow them to get

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Speaker 1: away with. Right, We've all kind of heard that's saying

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Speaker 1: in some way, shape or form. You know, if you

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Speaker 1: are somebody who doesn't stick up for yourself, you don't

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Speaker 1: voice your opinion, you know, people are inevitably going to

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Speaker 1: take advantage of you. That's that's just kind of the

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Speaker 1: unfortunate way of society and the world. And you know,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you know you have

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Speaker 1: nobody to blame for that but yourself. Of course, you know,

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Speaker 1: it sucks that people are that way, and it shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be that way. But if that's the reality of life,

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Speaker 1: it's that's the reality of this capitalistic society that we

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Speaker 1: live in. You have to accept that and then focus

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Speaker 1: on the part of it that you are in control

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Speaker 1: of it. And that's the part that you know, portrays

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Speaker 1: somebody of power and confidence that doesn't allow people to

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Speaker 1: take advantage of them and forces people to treat them fairly.

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Speaker 1: And this is something I relate to man wholeheartedly. I've

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Speaker 1: always been a people pleaser, and particularly in the industry

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Speaker 1: that I've come up in, you know, the world of

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Speaker 1: entertainment and media, and we're always just supposed to be

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Speaker 1: so grateful for any opportunity, right, Like it's a blessing

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Speaker 1: that we're even allowed in the door, you know. Like

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Speaker 1: I was always incredibly timid, you know, coming up, and

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Speaker 1: as a result, a lot of people took advantage of that,

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Speaker 1: right And there was a time where you know, I

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Speaker 1: was doing radio shifts at a radio station and they

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Speaker 1: weren't paying me, and of course it was a great,

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Speaker 1: great opportunity, but eventually they just kept expecting to add

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Speaker 1: more and more things onto my plate and that I

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Speaker 1: would just continue to accept it. And of course I

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Speaker 1: had to stand up for myself. I had to say, like,

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Speaker 1: I'm at the point now where I've been doing this

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Speaker 1: for a good amount of time for you, and I

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Speaker 1: deserve to be getting paid. And if that's that's not

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Speaker 1: what you're able to do right now, I need to

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Speaker 1: move on from this situation. And that's what I had

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Speaker 1: to do, right And it's the same thing with you know,

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Speaker 1: djaying early on as a DJ, so many things of

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Speaker 1: like oh can you can you do this? We don't

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Speaker 1: have a budget to pay you. It's great exposure, all

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Speaker 1: of the above, and for a little while, there are

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Speaker 1: certain opportunities that you kind of have to take advantage

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Speaker 1: of as you're trying to build a name for yourself,

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Speaker 1: as you are are networking. But again, if you don't

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Speaker 1: draw that line in the sand, they will always try

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Speaker 1: and take advantage of you as somebody who doesn't deserve

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Speaker 1: to get paid. Again, some of those relationships went by

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Speaker 1: the wayside and others recognize that they could no longer

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Speaker 1: take advantage of me and they had to start paying

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Speaker 1: up right. But again it was me declaring who I

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Speaker 1: was and where I was in my career and telling

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Speaker 1: people you need to treat me accordingly. And of course

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Speaker 1: this is not always going to work out in your favor.

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Speaker 1: There are going to be people who don't believe in

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Speaker 1: the way that you see yourself, right, and they're going

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Speaker 1: to move on from you and tell you best of luck,

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Speaker 1: And you have to be accepting of that. Right. You

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Speaker 1: have to go where you are are celebrated, not where

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Speaker 1: you are tolerated, right. And that is something I've always

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Speaker 1: tried to remind myself in those tough moments where somebody

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Speaker 1: is playing hardball and making it seem like I'm going

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Speaker 1: to lose more by it by no longer being taken

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Speaker 1: advantage of right. And again, you have to stick to

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Speaker 1: your guns and know that you are valuable and somebody

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Speaker 1: else out there will be willing to give you what

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Speaker 1: you feel you are worth, but you have to first

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Speaker 1: and foremost declare yourself as someone of value. Now, with

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Speaker 1: that in mind, we have heard from man fifty cent,

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Speaker 1: we have heard from Marcus Aurelius, one of the Stoics.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely given you a bit of insight into something

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Speaker 1: I struggled with for a long time on this topic.

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Speaker 1: But now let's talk about how you can make it

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Speaker 1: your mantra for today. But first let's take a quick

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Speaker 1: break and then we'll be right back. All right, So

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Speaker 1: we have heard the words of fifty cent, we have

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Speaker 1: heard Marcus surreally, as I've given you some insight into

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Speaker 1: how I have dealt with people judging me and then

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Speaker 1: feeling like they can take advantage of me and me

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Speaker 1: not taking that control, and then how I had to

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Speaker 1: learn how to take matters into my own hands. Right,

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Speaker 1: So let's talk about this the stoic idea of focusing

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Speaker 1: on what you can control. Let's talk about how you

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Speaker 1: can make it your mantra for today. Now, I think,

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Speaker 1: first and foremost, you know, you can't expect to be

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Speaker 1: seen as valuable or treated as such if you are

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Speaker 1: not first taking control and declaring yourself as someone who

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Speaker 1: is valuable. Right, Like, I've always been blown away by

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Speaker 1: people who are nice people but not necessarily great at

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Speaker 1: their craft. But there's a lot of people that I

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Speaker 1: would watch and at best their average and their skill set,

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Speaker 1: but somehow, some way, they are always out doing something right.

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Speaker 1: They are getting to play some show that is definitely

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Speaker 1: above their talent level, and I'd always sit back and wonder, like,

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Speaker 1: how the hell is this person finessing this, and I

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Speaker 1: think if first and foremost starts with this, you know,

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Speaker 1: even if they talent wise our average at best at

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Speaker 1: what they do, the attitude that they're walking in the

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Speaker 1: room with and what they're declaring their worth is is

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Speaker 1: speaking louder than that, and people, as a result are

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Speaker 1: are having to sort of buy into what they're selling

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Speaker 1: right because it seems like they really do believe it,

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Speaker 1: and it almost makes you doubt like maybe I'm wrong

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Speaker 1: about their talent level because this person is so confident

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Speaker 1: in what they do, and that's how they're creating those opportunities.

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Speaker 1: They're not, you know, coming in the room and so

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Speaker 1: just quietly with their head down saying like, hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm a I'm a singer. You know, maybe i'd

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Speaker 1: like some sort of opportunity that's not going to get you,

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Speaker 1: you know, what you want. They're walking in there like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I am crushing it right now as a singer, Like

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Speaker 1: you need to have me on your show. I would

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Speaker 1: kill it and listen. They're not going to always get

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Speaker 1: the opportunity, but I promist you that attitude will have

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Speaker 1: people buying into you far faster than if you're just

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Speaker 1: kind of quietly satisfied with taking the scraps that they're

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Speaker 1: willing to throw you. Again, people will only take advantage

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Speaker 1: of you for as much as you're going to allow

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Speaker 1: them to. If you are not declaring yourself as somebody

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Speaker 1: who is a value who needs to be taking care of. Accordingly,

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Speaker 1: they're going to be happy, you know, with judging you

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Speaker 1: as somebody that they can take advantage of. And again,

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Speaker 1: just give those scraps too. Now, let's kind of summarize

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Speaker 1: what we've been talking about today. You fifty and the

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Speaker 1: fiftieth ball, Like he says, if you do not take

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Speaker 1: control of this process, then people will see and define

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Speaker 1: you the way they want to, often to your detriment.

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Speaker 1: If you don't stand up for yourself, people will take

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Speaker 1: advantage of you because it benefits them at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day. Right, and then a quote from one

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Speaker 1: of the stoics, Marcus Surrealius. Right, he's talking about how

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Speaker 1: you have the power to revoke at any moment. Right,

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Speaker 1: Like any moment, you have the ability to catch yourself

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Speaker 1: and say, you know what, I'm not taking this ship anymore.

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Speaker 1: I know my value, I know my worth, and either

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Speaker 1: you're going to give it to me or not that

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Speaker 1: leads right into my own life and those examples that

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Speaker 1: I've talked about with you. You know, I would still

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Speaker 1: be dejaying for free had I not have said at

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Speaker 1: one point in time like no, I'm farist who's talented.

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Speaker 1: I've paid my dues, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

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Speaker 1: People would have loved to have keep taking advantage of

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Speaker 1: me and not paying me anything, because of course it

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Speaker 1: brings more money in their pocket. And it was up

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Speaker 1: to me to focus on the part of it that

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Speaker 1: I could control, and that was declaring my status as

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Speaker 1: someone who is of value and someone that needs to

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Speaker 1: be thought about accordingly. Right, And as a result, not

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Speaker 1: everybody you know hopped on that train. But again, moving forward,

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Speaker 1: I was able to then make this a career because

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Speaker 1: people understood that I was someone of value and someone

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Speaker 1: that was demanding to be treated as such financially and

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Speaker 1: respect wise, of course. So remember, you get to create

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Speaker 1: your own value, and you have to be unafraid to

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Speaker 1: declare it to each and every person that you meet

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Speaker 1: and make sure they treat you accordingly or you move

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Speaker 1: on to something else. Now, with that said, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for checking out the street Stoke Podcast. Do

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Speaker 1: your best to apply these concepts that we discussed today

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Speaker 1: and see your everyday life and I will talk to

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Speaker 1: you next time. The Street Stoke Podcast is a production

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Speaker 1: of Ihearts Michael Bura Podcast Network