Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
Speaker 1: is how Men thick and I heard radio podcast. Hi guys,
Speaker 1: some Hunter March and you're listening to How Men Think,
Speaker 1: where basically I'm going to unveil what I can without
Speaker 1: being excommunicated by my people's you know what though, honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't really care about them. Men are the worst,
Speaker 1: right So I'm gonna give you all the down and
Speaker 1: dirty secrets. If you guys don't know who I am.
Speaker 1: I host a show on e called Nightly Pop and
Speaker 1: I host a show on Netflix called Sugar Rush. So
Speaker 1: I hope you uh enjoy this episode. I'm looking forward
Speaker 1: to answering your questions. But before I do that, let
Speaker 1: me do eleven questions about myself. So the first one
Speaker 1: is what are you known for? Tell us about yourself. Um, well,
Speaker 1: besides those two shows, I think I'm known for my
Speaker 1: breakfast skillets. It's something that I've made for quite a
Speaker 1: few people. So women, some very lucky women, have stayed
Speaker 1: the night. We'll start this off right now with this stand.
Speaker 1: The night's a tricky one. I am. I have a
Speaker 1: king bed for this reason. I don't want to really
Speaker 1: be touching in the evening. And it's not because I
Speaker 1: don't like the person, It's it's the opposite. I like
Speaker 1: them so much that it's going to distract me from sleeping.
Speaker 1: Let's get into the next one. Who are you in
Speaker 1: your personal life? But what a lot of people don't
Speaker 1: know about me is that outside of my personality on
Speaker 1: television and in my podcast with Paris Hilton, this is Paris.
Speaker 1: Uh what I didn't know. What people don't know about
Speaker 1: me is that I'm pretty reserved, like in my personal
Speaker 1: life and and I deal with you know, the same
Speaker 1: anxiety and other things that a lot of people deal it.
Speaker 1: But I have used my humor and everything to kind
Speaker 1: of compensate. And uh So, so if you really get
Speaker 1: to know me in my personal life, it's still funny
Speaker 1: and it's still jokes, but you realize that it's there's
Speaker 1: also a deeper side of me where I like to
Speaker 1: cook and paint and garden. Um And if you're watching
Speaker 1: the video, you can see some of my paintings behind me,
Speaker 1: So go check that out. Uh. Three shows that I'm
Speaker 1: binge watching right now, I'm binge watching Get Back the
Speaker 1: Beatles documentary on Disney Plus. I just I've never seen
Speaker 1: such brilliant people collaborate in such a cool way. And
Speaker 1: as someone who's starting my own YouTube channel back up
Speaker 1: and I have hired somebody and we're collaborating every day.
Speaker 1: I literally showed my employee. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: what I want us to be like it is like
Speaker 1: the Beatles, which I realized I'm asking this young guy
Speaker 1: who I started working with a week ago. I'm like,
Speaker 1: how come you're not my lenin right now? But I,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, that's I'm binge watching that. I'm also binge
Speaker 1: watching um Attack on Titan, which is an anime show
Speaker 1: I don't never watch. May my brother was like, you
Speaker 1: should check it out. My brother likes anime and I
Speaker 1: watched it and it's really good. It's an intense show,
Speaker 1: but it's good. And then the final thing that I'm
Speaker 1: binge watching is um a lot of YouTube. I'm getting
Speaker 1: back into YouTube right now, so I watch a lot
Speaker 1: of YouTube videos. I love YouTube. It's how I started
Speaker 1: in this industry. And um, yeah, what is my favorite food? Well,
Speaker 1: I already mentioned breakfast skillets and that would be my
Speaker 1: favorite food. I love all breakfast. I just started doing
Speaker 1: a it's a very French way of of scrambling eggs.
Speaker 1: But basically you do a super slow scramble in butter,
Speaker 1: like the eggs should barely be cooking as you're whisking
Speaker 1: them slowly. Let me do this seductively, whisk those eggs
Speaker 1: so slowly. Not with a whisk. Instead, take a small spatula,
Speaker 1: a spoon even, and just slowly push it around the pan,
Speaker 1: letting the butter seep into every crevice of those runny,
Speaker 1: runny eggs. Then, is it's cooking up, don't add the
Speaker 1: salt yet, Get your hand off the salt. We're gonna
Speaker 1: place that over a nice piece of sour dough that's
Speaker 1: got a thin layer of butter on it. Butter's your friend,
Speaker 1: not your enemy. Then we're gonna top it with chopped
Speaker 1: chives and thinly sliced smoked salmon chopped up as well,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna add ourselves a finishing flake salt,
Speaker 1: a little bit of pepper, and a dash of olive
Speaker 1: oil on top. Oh my god, I'm trying so hard. Um,
Speaker 1: all right, let's let's move on. But that that is
Speaker 1: an enjoyable food for me, right now. Tell us about
Speaker 1: your career. Well, I'm very lucky with my career I've been.
Speaker 1: I started as an intern for this company called Awesome's TV,
Speaker 1: which was a YouTube channel, and I had my own
Speaker 1: little YouTube channel, but you know, it wasn't anything that
Speaker 1: was paying any bills. And when I got the job
Speaker 1: at Awesomeness, I just grinded and grinded for like five, six,
Speaker 1: seven years and eventually became the face of the channel.
Speaker 1: And then I was hosting, probably hosted thousands of videos
Speaker 1: for them, and I told myself, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be cool to be on TV? And then
Speaker 1: I got a game show network show, and then all
Speaker 1: my friends were all I was like, you guy should
Speaker 1: watch this show. And they're like, we don't have cable
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, that makes it hard to
Speaker 1: watch the show. Neither did I at the time, so
Speaker 1: I couldn't even watch my own show. And then Netflix
Speaker 1: called Netflix, was like, we want you to do this
Speaker 1: baking show called Sure Rush, and I was like absolutely.
Speaker 1: Did not tell them that I was gluten intolerant until
Speaker 1: season three, um, and then uh, that only shot for
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks a year, and then we were done.
Speaker 1: I said, how cool would it be to get a
Speaker 1: show that I could shoot every day, and then Nightly
Speaker 1: Pop came around, which we shoot four days week and
Speaker 1: it's been a dream. And we're about to hit episode
Speaker 1: five hundred of that show, which is just so rare
Speaker 1: and television. I'm so blessed my entire career. I'm very
Speaker 1: thankful for. And uh, yeah, what's my biggest fear in life? Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's between two different things I really don't like, uh,
Speaker 1: the idea of bones breaking, Like I don't want to
Speaker 1: get hurt. I hate getting hurt. It sucks. And then
Speaker 1: the second one is dying alone. No, if you are
Speaker 1: just experiencing who I am as a person right now,
Speaker 1: and this these eleven questions are your intro. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry this is an aggressive intro. What is your
Speaker 1: biggest pet? Peeve? My biggest I hate when people don't
Speaker 1: say thank you, just be appreciative. It's so easy to
Speaker 1: say thank you. I say thank you like it's you know,
Speaker 1: candy on Halloween. I give it to everybody. I don't care, like,
Speaker 1: thank you for so simple. Someone holds a door if like,
Speaker 1: a guy holds a door open for me on my
Speaker 1: way into Starbucks, and I'm like more than five feet away.
Speaker 1: I literally look at dead in the Hind I go,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, man, that was nice, just because
Speaker 1: I just think and so like, if I ever take
Speaker 1: a girl out to dinner, I don't mind. I always
Speaker 1: love paying. I I believe in that I should pay
Speaker 1: just because I asked a person on a date. Um,
Speaker 1: if they don't say thank you, it just it rubs
Speaker 1: me the wrong way. It's it's last date. Um. What
Speaker 1: makes you the most happy? I think making my family
Speaker 1: laugh makes me the most happy. You know. I think
Speaker 1: getting to do what I do. I get the chance
Speaker 1: to try and joke around for a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and luckily I get to do it day and day out.
Speaker 1: But there's nothing like seeing my dad or my mom laugh,
Speaker 1: or my brother laugh a lot at something. It really
Speaker 1: makes me happy. What is your ideal Saturday morning? UM?
Speaker 1: Ideal Saturday morning would be waking up already off to
Speaker 1: a good start, better than it could have been. Um.
Speaker 1: Then making a really yummy breakfast, hanging out with my
Speaker 1: dog Lucy, taking her on a walk, doing a workout,
Speaker 1: but preferably playing a sport like paddle, tennis or basketball,
Speaker 1: all in the backyard. Something to just get the left flowing,
Speaker 1: and then again hanging out with friends I love and
Speaker 1: going to the beach or doing something. Yeah, and work,
Speaker 1: I do love work. I'm very lucky that I like
Speaker 1: my job, so i'd get some editing done or some producing.
Speaker 1: Are you more of the athlete or the armschare quarterback?
Speaker 1: The thing is neither. Really, I'm athletic, but nobody's calling
Speaker 1: me saying, hunter, we need a fifth on the on
Speaker 1: the court. It's just not happening. I'm good, I've played
Speaker 1: sports my whole life, but I'm not that good. And
Speaker 1: then the armshair quarterback. Now, I don't care about other
Speaker 1: grown men. I don't get invested like that. I hosted
Speaker 1: a Super Bowl party. I had you know, sixty seventy
Speaker 1: people at the house, and I watched maybe twenty five
Speaker 1: seconds of the game. I rather, I just enjoyed having
Speaker 1: people over and and taking care of them more than
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the sports. And finally, what keeps you motivated?
Speaker 1: It's mostly money. Um, just the ability to accrue wealth,
Speaker 1: hold it over people with less wealth and kind of
Speaker 1: dictate their lives and in the way that I see fit.
Speaker 1: Because I have so much money, that would be that
Speaker 1: would be not it. I'm kidding. What keeps me motivated?
Speaker 1: I I get I've gotten some opportunities to work with
Speaker 1: UH people who have disabilities with this company called Ability First,
Speaker 1: this program called Ability First, and got to teach painting
Speaker 1: classes and stuff like that. And seeing them excited about
Speaker 1: the guy from Sugar Rush is like the only time
Speaker 1: I'm excited to be the guy from sugar Rush. So
Speaker 1: doing that getting people excited to like go try cooking
Speaker 1: or get excited to try and make some jokes and
Speaker 1: be funny, that's exciting to me. Anyway. Those are the
Speaker 1: eleven questions with me. Now we're going to get into
Speaker 1: some callers, but before we do that, we're gonna say
Speaker 1: a quick break. Welcome back. I hope you guys bought
Speaker 1: all those products. Let's go ahead and talk to our
Speaker 1: first caller. Hi, how's it going good? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm fantastic, is it, Mara? Yes? It is all right, Maura. Well,
Speaker 1: I'd like to hear more of you right now. So
Speaker 1: what's your question? Okay? So, um I am born and
Speaker 1: raised in southern California and I have loved growing up here.
Speaker 1: It's very beautiful, but um in l A unfortunately, UM
Speaker 1: I feel like, especially with like social media, like it's
Speaker 1: really hard to find someone who's not like looking for
Speaker 1: the best, shiniest, most perfect person. Which brings me to
Speaker 1: my question, Um, Like, I mean in l A, where
Speaker 1: there's like actresses and models and Instagram influencers, how does
Speaker 1: a normal girl who is an in the industry stand out?
Speaker 1: It's a great question because one, I don't think it's
Speaker 1: as valid as as some people fear, you know, like
Speaker 1: there are is much as l A is known for
Speaker 1: the glitz and glamour, the people here are still you know,
Speaker 1: like I consider myself one of those normal people, Like
Speaker 1: I don't consider myself I don't go out to the
Speaker 1: parties or the clubs. I don't meet people that way. Um,
Speaker 1: when what have I what have I been doing to
Speaker 1: meet people? So what are you saying? Are you do
Speaker 1: you want to know how to meet people or how
Speaker 1: to stand out at Do you already like go to
Speaker 1: places and you just want to stand out at those places? Um?
Speaker 1: I guess a little bit of both, a little bit
Speaker 1: of both, but especially I think, um, I just feel
Speaker 1: like I don't stand out. I just feel like I
Speaker 1: can't compare it to these like women I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, these women can't even compare to themselves,
Speaker 1: you know, like the Instagram look and the TikTok and
Speaker 1: obviously when they're on TV and in the movies or whatever,
Speaker 1: if there musicians, it's it's so much is put into
Speaker 1: building an image that really isn't them, and I think
Speaker 1: they obviously are aware of that. And then in the
Speaker 1: same with men, they all kind of put this image up.
Speaker 1: But what a lot of people don't realize is like
Speaker 1: that goes away and then you are stuck with the
Speaker 1: real person. And if the real person is great, whether
Speaker 1: it's um, someone who's really smart or really funny or
Speaker 1: just really genuine. I love authenticity in a partner almost
Speaker 1: more than I love anything else. Um, you you'll stand
Speaker 1: out to the right person. Undoubtedly. The thing that happens
Speaker 1: in l A is, and it happens with men and women.
Speaker 1: They come to l A looking for something better than themselves, right,
Speaker 1: because a lot of people who come to l A
Speaker 1: want something. They want to be famous or successful, and
Speaker 1: if they don't have that yet, they do anything to
Speaker 1: elevate their status. But at some point you meet a
Speaker 1: guy or a woman who isn't who doesn't need to
Speaker 1: like date somebody or do something for the cloud for
Speaker 1: lack of a less disgusting word, And you mean someone
Speaker 1: who's ready to meet someone genuine And I'm at that
Speaker 1: stage in my life now where, um, I don't need
Speaker 1: to date someone in the industry by any means. I
Speaker 1: would love to date somebody who I met getting coffee
Speaker 1: who had nothing to do with this industry. And ah,
Speaker 1: just made me laugh. That's it. So you know, I'm
Speaker 1: still single, so I think we're probably in the same
Speaker 1: boat more. I don't know if that answers your question.
Speaker 1: It does. Actually, that made me feel a lot better, um,
Speaker 1: because you're I mean, I'm at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for authenticity too, So yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: would actually, you know, just kind of be thankful that
Speaker 1: you haven't gotten stuck with one of the guys who's
Speaker 1: you know, like I always the one thing I would
Speaker 1: not want for one of my friends or families for
Speaker 1: them to be with somebody who, especially like in l
Speaker 1: A where they're just in it for the wrong reasons.
Speaker 1: It's so common, um, And I think like you, being
Speaker 1: single and obviously being aware of this industry in this
Speaker 1: world means You're already leaps and bounds above a lot
Speaker 1: of other people who come here, so I think you'll
Speaker 1: find the right person for sure, just a matter of
Speaker 1: In terms of meeting people. I love going to some
Speaker 1: of these, like group classes and stuff like that, whether
Speaker 1: it's painting or cooking or even workout classes. Sometimes it's
Speaker 1: odd to go up to somebody, but if you if
Speaker 1: you here's the thing. If a guy's single and you're
Speaker 1: single and there's an attraction, all you have to do
Speaker 1: is look at him twice and he'll come up to
Speaker 1: if he if he wants to. You know, it's not
Speaker 1: about the big aggressive move, but um, you can or
Speaker 1: you just go up to me whatever you want. But yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: I hope that helps much. I love that it really did.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Now you're welcome. Thank you all right,
Speaker 1: Bye bye, Hilarissa, Hi Hunter, how's it going. Everything's good.
Speaker 1: I hear you have a question. I do so obviously,
Speaker 1: with the state of the world over the past two years,
Speaker 1: I haven't had many dating opportunities, so I'm ready to
Speaker 1: get back in there, you know. But nowadays I really
Speaker 1: don't know how the game is played, and I really
Speaker 1: don't want to play games anymore so. Growing up, I
Speaker 1: was taught to play hard to get, so you know,
Speaker 1: that was supposed to keep a guy's attention or keep
Speaker 1: his interest. And I kind of feel like that's the
Speaker 1: wrong kind of attention these days, and it brings the
Speaker 1: wrong kind of men, Like is this still a thing?
Speaker 1: Like how much hard to get do you play? What
Speaker 1: if you're tired of playing games? What are the rules
Speaker 1: in twenties one? You too? And what's the best way
Speaker 1: to date? Yeah? I wish that I was smarter so
Speaker 1: that I didn't fall for the hard to get thing
Speaker 1: all the time. But boy, oh boy, when a girl
Speaker 1: is hard to get, my monkey brain turns on and
Speaker 1: I am I it does affect it. But then eventually,
Speaker 1: hard to get means that at some point you still
Speaker 1: have the chance of getting to the point of a relationship,
Speaker 1: right do you get past the games? And if I
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna like in the beginning when you weren't playing
Speaker 1: hard to get, I'm not gonna like you after we're
Speaker 1: done playing hard to get? You know? So I think
Speaker 1: like it does work unfortunately on a lot of guys
Speaker 1: and on women too, Like I've played it accidentally, just
Speaker 1: in times where like I started talking to a girl
Speaker 1: and it just happened to be the busiest two weeks
Speaker 1: of my life. And and then afterwards we'll be talking.
Speaker 1: She's like, I really thought you didn't like me, like
Speaker 1: I thought, And I was like, no, no, no no, no,
Speaker 1: I was busy, but I understood that it is attracted
Speaker 1: of um to be busy. And I think that that's
Speaker 1: the difference. You shouldn't be hard to get. To be
Speaker 1: hard to get, you should be prioritizing yourself and your
Speaker 1: job and your hobbies and your friends and your family
Speaker 1: before any guy can come into your life and destruct
Speaker 1: any of that. And when you are doing that, you're
Speaker 1: not playing hard to get. You just are a little
Speaker 1: harder to get. But it's all while just again making
Speaker 1: sure that you are putting you first in the healthiest
Speaker 1: way possible. UM. I think the better way to look
Speaker 1: at it would be like, look at the antithesis of that,
Speaker 1: which should be to just be constantly available for virtually
Speaker 1: a stranger. Doesn't matter if you've got a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten, dates,
Speaker 1: that person is still a stranger for the most part. UM,
Speaker 1: So you know, it's not about again, it's not about games,
Speaker 1: but everybody likes someone who's who's working on them. Everybody
Speaker 1: likes somebody who's busy, successful, career driven in so that
Speaker 1: I hope that answers that question about that. But in
Speaker 1: terms of the other games of of of dating right now,
Speaker 1: I think people are a little tired of games. I
Speaker 1: think we've been in a pandemic for too long where
Speaker 1: if you don't like games, now it's kind of the
Speaker 1: chance to date because people just want to cut to
Speaker 1: the to the meat of a relationship and kind of
Speaker 1: have somebody, especially if we've been single for the past,
Speaker 1: you know, two years of isolation. Yes, is that you've
Speaker 1: been single for the pandemic or did you have someone
Speaker 1: to so you at this point? What are you looking for? Mostly?
Speaker 1: I mean just something that can start off as a
Speaker 1: good strong friendship, good common interests, and something that has
Speaker 1: the opportunity to blossom into more, but without the uncertainty
Speaker 1: like is this person really into me? Am I wasting
Speaker 1: my time? Like I understand what you were saying about
Speaker 1: prioritizing yourself and I totally agree with that, um, but
Speaker 1: you also want to know like this that we're both
Speaker 1: on the same page and we're both moving forward and
Speaker 1: we're open to more, but taking it slow and also
Speaker 1: knowing where we're going as opposed to being totally confused
Speaker 1: on what's going on. Yeah, I think having the conversation again,
Speaker 1: it doesn't negate the hard to get It doesn't. It
Speaker 1: doesn't stop like that when you have that conversation. I
Speaker 1: was talking to a girl recently and I was I
Speaker 1: liked her, and I told her on the phone because
Speaker 1: we were both really busy. She went back to New York.
Speaker 1: I was in l A And on the phone, I
Speaker 1: just was kind of like, you know, it's nice talking
Speaker 1: to you. I enjoy it because I got a little crush.
Speaker 1: You know, saying you have a little crush is and
Speaker 1: isn't a bad thing. Again, It's it's not like I
Speaker 1: want you to date me. I'm gonna take over your life.
Speaker 1: It's not that. You know, you can still put those
Speaker 1: little signs out there. And I think when you put
Speaker 1: those little signs out there, if you're being really really objective,
Speaker 1: you know what signs you get back. There are times
Speaker 1: where some guy will say something and you're like, what
Speaker 1: was that. Does that means that mean he's into me?
Speaker 1: Or does that mean he's not into me, and usually
Speaker 1: if you have to really ask, it means he's not
Speaker 1: giving you what you're given him. Yeah, you know, like
Speaker 1: in my mind, a guy and a woman both should
Speaker 1: make it somewhat known after the second, third, fourth, fifth
Speaker 1: date that there's interest. Otherwise you wouldn't be going on
Speaker 1: these dates. You know, you wouldn't be on the fifth
Speaker 1: date if you weren't into them. So you know, again,
Speaker 1: it's not about jump in the line and basically saying
Speaker 1: I love you or you know, on date two. But
Speaker 1: you can let him know and see what his responses.
Speaker 1: Just say something like I enjoy spend time with you,
Speaker 1: because that could be anything. But if he goes yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like it's like my sister, you know, you're like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm out of here. But if he goes,
Speaker 1: I jest, I want to spend more time with you.
Speaker 1: Then hopefully that calms that anxiety that we all get
Speaker 1: when we date, you know, like do they like me
Speaker 1: as much as I like them? Blah blah blah. So
Speaker 1: I think I think there's little ways to do it
Speaker 1: with where you're not putting it all on the table,
Speaker 1: and it's like doing little litmus tests and seeing if
Speaker 1: if their feedback gives you the answers you're looking for. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: that's great advice. Thank you, You're welcome. Everybody's saying it's
Speaker 1: great advice, which makes me wonder if you were told
Speaker 1: to say it's great advice at the end of each
Speaker 1: of these calls. And that laugh makes me think that
Speaker 1: that's the case, that was genuine. Okay, well, thank you, Leisa.
Speaker 1: Uh let me know how it goes damn me afterwards.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to put it to the test. All right,
Speaker 1: nice bye bye. Hi Stephanie, Hi are you? I'm good.
Speaker 1: I love your voice. Thank you. I think like just
Speaker 1: being separated by the zoom and only hearing the voice.
Speaker 1: I'm painting the most stunning image of like you and
Speaker 1: where you are. It's like buy a fire somewhere and
Speaker 1: in there's snow outside. I don't know why I envisioned
Speaker 1: that very cozy thoughts. Yes, yeah, well Stephanie, what can
Speaker 1: I answer for you? Well, um, so I was hanging
Speaker 1: out with my boyfriend last night and mind then to
Speaker 1: everything I said earlier, I mean you can still have
Speaker 1: that thought, all right. Um. We were hanging out and
Speaker 1: he got a couple of text messages from a group message,
Speaker 1: which he's in a few groups, so it wasn't strange
Speaker 1: or anything, but I did ask him what group it was,
Speaker 1: and he said it was a bunch of his guy friends.
Speaker 1: They have a group message where they message each other
Speaker 1: about relationships, stuff like problems in their relationship or positives
Speaker 1: in their relationship. They basically just ask each other a
Speaker 1: bunch of advice. And I thought, wow, like, do you
Speaker 1: guys really do this? Is this more than just these
Speaker 1: guys or like I know, with my girlfriends, I text
Speaker 1: each one of them and we over text and over
Speaker 1: share and all that stuff. But me curious and a
Speaker 1: little fascinated on the subject of do guys have group
Speaker 1: messages like this? Is it something I should worry about
Speaker 1: what he's sharing? Is the over sharing her personal details?
Speaker 1: Or is it just quote unquote lacker room talk or
Speaker 1: something like that. Or Yeah, it's tough for me to
Speaker 1: know because I unless you're dating the most emotionally intelligent,
Speaker 1: vulnerable straight man on the planet and all of his
Speaker 1: friends are that guy as well, it's not the same
Speaker 1: conversations you're having with your girlfriends. Yeah, um, I think
Speaker 1: I've had those conversations, but like one on one with
Speaker 1: a guy friend, and I've like been very vulnerable where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't like this feeling at all about
Speaker 1: telling him something that I'm dealing with. It makes me
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and I just need someone to talk to. But
Speaker 1: I'm not sending that in a group chat, and I
Speaker 1: don't think he is either, Like I don't think he's
Speaker 1: saying anything that you should necessarily worry about. But I
Speaker 1: think he may have powdered and put some lipstick on
Speaker 1: that group chat so that it didn't sound as probably
Speaker 1: a crude as it might be with his friends. More so,
Speaker 1: maybe his single friends or um other people kind of
Speaker 1: talking about that stuff, Like I don't know. I mean, again,
Speaker 1: I don't know your boyfriend. Maybe he is that guy,
Speaker 1: but he's really nice and he's really sweet, Like we
Speaker 1: have great communication, he's my best friend. We talked about
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, so you know, I can't imagine
Speaker 1: something he would reach out to a bunch of his
Speaker 1: guys friends for that would be like, I don't know
Speaker 1: something big, I don't know. This is why I'm calling
Speaker 1: in really, because we can talk about a lot of things.
Speaker 1: And who would you ask a panel of five of
Speaker 1: your friends, like what would you ask them about, unless
Speaker 1: it was something funny or unless I like, was weak
Speaker 1: or you know, something like that. But then I wonder,
Speaker 1: is it that deep? Do they do? You all have
Speaker 1: these deep connections and these similar issues that you deal
Speaker 1: within relationships that you seek out a panel of your
Speaker 1: closest buddies. I just I think it's funny that I'm
Speaker 1: imagining him and his five friends sitting on shares on
Speaker 1: the view talking and having a show doing it, and
Speaker 1: it's just not the view. What they're talking about is
Speaker 1: not in my mind. Again, I could be wrong, but
Speaker 1: I think it's probably closer to locker room talk. I
Speaker 1: don't think again, if you have that was my next question,
Speaker 1: Do you guys have a good open dialogue? And if
Speaker 1: the answers yes, what you said it is, then I
Speaker 1: don't think you have anything to worry about. I think
Speaker 1: men go to their friends and put a male spin
Speaker 1: on the conversation, whether it becomes again a little bit
Speaker 1: less vulnerable maybe instead of being like, oh, she hurt
Speaker 1: me because she didn't uh say that she liked my outfit, whatever,
Speaker 1: they might come to their friends and be like, you
Speaker 1: like this, look right, yeah, step says she hated it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what the you know, it's like
Speaker 1: guys talk like that to their friends that they don't
Speaker 1: have to admit that. Like, oh, it hurt me when
Speaker 1: she said this. As long as he's not like reaching
Speaker 1: out and being like this crazy woman that I'm with,
Speaker 1: she's ridiculous because I mean, I know he's not. He
Speaker 1: and I, like I said, we talked about everything. We
Speaker 1: joke a lot. Um yeah, that's what I'm picturing, is
Speaker 1: like she yelled at me for wearing another plaid shirt
Speaker 1: or something. Just all you have to do is go
Speaker 1: into his phone and search in his messages for crazy
Speaker 1: girl and plaid shirt and you'll know pretty quick. Um yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean you can always ask him like hey, you
Speaker 1: just be really vulnerable with him. Again. I love vulnerability
Speaker 1: and relationship because it gives the other person nowhere to
Speaker 1: go besides the truth, right, Like if you if you
Speaker 1: kind of came out of in an accusatory way or
Speaker 1: from a place of just like mistrust, it's different than
Speaker 1: being than going to him and saying, hey, by the way,
Speaker 1: Ever since you said the thing about the group chat,
Speaker 1: it's been on my mind and I just I'm like
Speaker 1: a little nervous that like, I don't know why, and
Speaker 1: maybe it's maybe I'm being a little um, a little cuckoo,
Speaker 1: but it's just been on my mind. See what he says,
Speaker 1: Because if it was me and the group chat really
Speaker 1: had nothing bad about my partner, I would say, take
Speaker 1: a look at the group chat whatever you want. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it struck me that it was like we talk about
Speaker 1: our relationships, and I was like, the hell do you
Speaker 1: talk about literally Yeah, I mean, did you ask him
Speaker 1: to see it? I mean no, when if I did,
Speaker 1: he would probably absolutely show it to me. But I
Speaker 1: also we provide each other with space for growth, and
Speaker 1: if he wants to have privacy with his guy friends, like,
Speaker 1: that's cool. But I don't know. I just can see
Speaker 1: us all at a party coming up, you know, and
Speaker 1: and all of us girls seeing around and me being like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, they have this group message, and I
Speaker 1: just don't want to be confronted by anything surprising. And
Speaker 1: I also don't want to be in a situation with
Speaker 1: all these friends where I'm like, oh, you know about
Speaker 1: my private parts or oh you know about like all
Speaker 1: of this. And I'm sure that they do know some
Speaker 1: of those things, but I was just curious to know
Speaker 1: if it was a common thing for guys to have
Speaker 1: group messages like this, well, again, this is just personal experience.
Speaker 1: But if it was with a girl that I actually
Speaker 1: really liked, that like my family and friends had met,
Speaker 1: if my friends know the girl, I never share details
Speaker 1: about our personal life like that, like anything about private
Speaker 1: parts or sex capades or whatever it is like that
Speaker 1: just that doesn't come up because it's so private. But
Speaker 1: if if I just got back from a trip to
Speaker 1: New York and I come back and talk to my
Speaker 1: friends with without showing them a picture of telling them
Speaker 1: a name, I will share those details a little bit
Speaker 1: more the way guys do. So as a girl friend
Speaker 1: who seems to be with a great guy, and you
Speaker 1: seem to be a great girl, I don't think you
Speaker 1: have anything to worry about. I don't think he's sharing
Speaker 1: those details hopefully, But again, you can always ask, because
Speaker 1: if he is, that is an invasion of your privacy
Speaker 1: and it'll just lead to mistrust and it's not it's
Speaker 1: not fair to you, So feel free to ask a question.
Speaker 1: But I also think if you trust him, you don't
Speaker 1: even have to worry about it. Well, thank you, that's
Speaker 1: a really great advice. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Enjoy
Speaker 1: the rest of your day, Stephanie. Enjoy that fireplace on
Speaker 1: that bear skin rug um in the mountains with my cocoa.
Speaker 1: Get out of your stuff. You're distracting all right. Bye? Bye.
Speaker 1: Hi Sassia, Hi, how are you good? How are you today?
Speaker 1: I'm good? What's uh? What's your question? So? I have
Speaker 1: a large group of friends, and I guess we're just,
Speaker 1: you know, pretty closely acquainted, knowing each other from college.
Speaker 1: So I mean, we have our own opinions about one another,
Speaker 1: and we have a couple in particular, they've been through
Speaker 1: a lot of ups and downs. So I am a
Speaker 1: little concerned for their relationship. It just doesn't seemed to
Speaker 1: be going well. It feels like it's time for them
Speaker 1: to go their separate ways. But I just don't know
Speaker 1: how to approach this. Um. Yeah, it's really toxic as
Speaker 1: far as their relationship goes. And I just don't even
Speaker 1: know how to start this conversation with them. Are you
Speaker 1: closer with either of them? I'm probably closer with her.
Speaker 1: She's like we knew each other before we met. She
Speaker 1: met him and started dating him. And have you talked
Speaker 1: to be honest right now, Stacie, have you talked to
Speaker 1: any of the other girls or guys in the group
Speaker 1: about this toxic relationship. Um, there's definitely been some talks
Speaker 1: with uh, you know, amongst most of us. Uh, just none,
Speaker 1: None of us have really approached this with them, and
Speaker 1: we just feel like, you know, they're always walking on
Speaker 1: egg shells. One day they're perfectly fine, the other day
Speaker 1: they're in a heated argument. The consensus what's your friend's
Speaker 1: consensus on whether or not you should say, we have
Speaker 1: all kind of come to the conclusion and one of
Speaker 1: us need to step up and definitely have this this
Speaker 1: conversation with them and just make it known to them
Speaker 1: like that this is not a way to have a relationship.
Speaker 1: There's probably a better out there for them both to
Speaker 1: to just have a healthy relationship with Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it would not be a bad thing to do,
Speaker 1: especially if if there is like a consensus among the
Speaker 1: friend group. Not bringing that up obviously because you don't
Speaker 1: want them to know that, you know, you kind of
Speaker 1: speaking behind their back, even if it is for their
Speaker 1: best intentions. But if maybe you went to the girl
Speaker 1: privately obviously not to the couple as a whole and
Speaker 1: said like, hey, are you happy with so and so
Speaker 1: are you and maybe trying to see if they'll come
Speaker 1: to you first and open up to you first before
Speaker 1: you bring it to them, you know, so it doesn't
Speaker 1: seem like you are kind of instigating, uh, a tricky conversation.
Speaker 1: So if you went to them and you said, how's
Speaker 1: everything was, so and so I noticed you guys weren't
Speaker 1: talking really at the last event, or I noticed that
Speaker 1: you didn't come to this thing. Is everything okay? And
Speaker 1: maybe if you put out the energy like hey, I
Speaker 1: want to help you, if that person wants to be helped,
Speaker 1: I think they'll they'll pick up on that energy and
Speaker 1: they will go ahead and do the right thing and
Speaker 1: and have a conversation with you. But some people are
Speaker 1: so stuck in their own bubble or they're embarrassed. A
Speaker 1: lot of people are embarrassed by unhealthy relationships and then
Speaker 1: they'll never bring it up because it's almost like admitting
Speaker 1: that they've failed. Like some people feel like if they're
Speaker 1: in an unhealthy relationship that they've failed, which is obviously
Speaker 1: not the case. Um So if that's the case, if
Speaker 1: they're not giving, if she's not giving, you anything you
Speaker 1: want in terms of a response or an openness to
Speaker 1: talk about it. You can just say, by the way,
Speaker 1: I have seen this and this behavior, and I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know that I think you deserve better,
Speaker 1: whatever however you want to phrase it. But I don't
Speaker 1: think that's a conversation that you should avoid having because
Speaker 1: it could be the light bulb switch that they need
Speaker 1: to be like, oh my god, I'm not crazy for
Speaker 1: thinking that I was in this thing. And how come
Speaker 1: none of my friends have mentioned it? Do they all
Speaker 1: think that this relationship is better than it is? Am
Speaker 1: I the one who's wrong here? There's that opportunity, there's
Speaker 1: that potential too, So I think you should have the conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, she's definitely want to isolate herself whenever she
Speaker 1: becomes angry with him and they're in an argument. So
Speaker 1: I definitely sense that, and I think when, like I
Speaker 1: bring it up to her, it will be in that
Speaker 1: moment just like, hey, you feel this way right now,
Speaker 1: so you know this is clearly not a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: I think there's plenty of other people you could you
Speaker 1: could be dating right now that will treat you well.
Speaker 1: You're not walking on eggshells, feeling like everything you say
Speaker 1: is avoiding an argument with him, So definitely something to
Speaker 1: to bring up. I wish you the best luck with it.
Speaker 1: I think you seem like a great friend who cares
Speaker 1: about another person, and well that might seem obvious to you,
Speaker 1: it is a very special quality to have a friend
Speaker 1: too would put your happiness before their own comfort, because
Speaker 1: there are a lot of friends out there who don't
Speaker 1: say anything because they don't want to be uncomfortable. So
Speaker 1: what you're doing is not only okay. I think it's
Speaker 1: the right thing to do, and I wish you the
Speaker 1: best of luck. Thank you, You're welcome, good luck. Let
Speaker 1: me know how it goes. Yeah, definitely will be in touch,
Speaker 1: all right, bye bye, All right. Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: thank you to everybody who called in. I had a
Speaker 1: pleasure talking to you and I hope it helped. If
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Speaker 1: I'll answer them. But have a lovely day everybody. Bye.
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