1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on time. We got the straw 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: every day subject. They don't make them like they used to. 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I want your honest opinions. I'm young, 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: and I have a great job, my own place, and 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:19,319 Speaker 1: I'm happily single for now. Here's my issue. I don't 6 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: think a strong, independent woman should stand by a broke 7 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: man or wait for him to reach his full potential. 8 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: People always say I should not overlook a man that 9 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: falls short financially, but I prefer to remain strong because 10 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: I am not afraid of being alone. So many women 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: go through the emotional struggles of being with a man 12 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: just to say they have a man. So is it 13 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: selfish for me to live my own life and continue 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: to pray for the man that God will send to me. 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: I understand that men are natural hunters, so once they 16 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: see what they want, they will keep pressing for it. 17 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,279 Speaker 1: How do I know that a man's intentions are genuine 18 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: and he's not looking for the come up? What if 19 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: he's a really great guy but he's living check to check. 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 1: I have been in these types of relationships before, and 21 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: they each ended up as a waste of time and energy. 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. I've been broke before, so I'm 23 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: not doubting anyone now that I'm doing much better and 24 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: I'm able to take care of myself. If it's bad 25 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: that I don't settle for half a man just to 26 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: say I have a man, seems like more men are 27 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,479 Speaker 1: looking for someone to take care of them now. I'm 28 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: not bashing all men, but what's really going on nowadays? Well, 29 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you're perfectly, of course, within your 30 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: rights to feel how you feel. You said you're not 31 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: bashing all men. You're just, you know, talking about the 32 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: kind of men that you don't want, which is a 33 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: good thing. I think you know what you do want. 34 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: You say you've been broke before. You're not downing anyone. 35 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: You want to be with someone you don't want to settle. 36 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: I think that's perfectly fine. You shouldn't settle. You shouldn't settle. 37 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: If you're truly praying for the man that God wants 38 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: to send to you, then that's what you should be 39 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: open to. You'll know when it's a man that God sends, 40 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: God send for you, because he'll be a godly man. Uh. Yeah, 41 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: men are natural hunters. Steve used to talk about that 42 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: on the show all the time. But I think what 43 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: you need to stay close to is what you're praying for, 44 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 1: is you're praying for God to send you the man 45 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: that you want. But just make sure you're everything. You know, 46 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 1: make sure your whole and uh, you know, you're a 47 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: good person and you're a good woman. You have something 48 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: to offer the world and a man. Okay, don't just 49 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: look for a man to come and make you whole. 50 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: Already be whole. Okay, it's okay for you to be 51 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: strong and independent and all of that stuff. Just you know, 52 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: if you're really praying for God to send you a man, 53 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: just wait for that, all right, Steve, Well, this is 54 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: a weird letter because she's saying a couple of things. 55 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: First of all, I wish I knew how old she 56 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: was because this has a lot to do with it. Now. 57 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: You know, if you don't think that a strong, independent 58 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: woman should stand by a broke man or wait for 59 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: him to reach his full potential, then you feel that way. 60 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: But let me say tell you something you're saying a 61 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: broke man. You said you've been in relationships with people 62 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: who live check to check. Let me say something to you. 63 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: The majority of people are living check to check, that's 64 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: a financial fact. Check to check don't mean you're broke. 65 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 1: It means you're in a situation where in three checks 66 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: you could be completely out. Well, most people live that 67 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: way until they pull it together. If you're looking for 68 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: a man that's already made, what you haven't said directly 69 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: in this letter, but what appears to me that you've 70 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: said in this letter that you want somebody that's already made, 71 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: then get in line, because that line is gonna be long. 72 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: And if you're young, there are men who are in 73 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: the building process. It takes men some time to pull 74 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: themselves together. It just does a man that's in their twenties. 75 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: It's gonna be hard to find a guy that has 76 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: it together in his twenties. It's going to be hard 77 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: because that's the learning phase of life. So, ma'am, you've 78 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 1: said quite a lot in this letter. Now, is it 79 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: true that some men are looking to be taking care of? Yep, yep, 80 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: that's true. They're easy to spot because they're looking to 81 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: be taking care of. They don't want to pay for 82 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,119 Speaker 1: the dinners. They don't want to pay to take you out. 83 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,720 Speaker 1: They ain't looking to sponsoring no trips. They ain't looking 84 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: at it. Okay, what you know what he's talking about 85 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: now for guys living check to check and trips ain't 86 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: really available right now, maybe once a year. But he's 87 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: doing everything else he can that me can do. Then 88 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: you might have a good prospect that you're passing on 89 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 1: because he's not made yet men who have means. Just 90 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,479 Speaker 1: because a man got money don't make him a good man. 91 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: Oh true? Oh oh did I just say that? Oh 92 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 1: yes you did. Just because a man gotten money don't 93 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 1: make him a good man. So now you can pass 94 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: up on these other men who may have better qualities 95 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 1: and less funds, and go for the funds and get 96 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: the less quality man. Also, you said you're asking God 97 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: to send you a man. If that's the case, what's 98 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: the letter fall? See this is how I read letters. 99 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: As Shelley's right about several things she said in her 100 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: comment to you about it. Now, look, you can be 101 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: by yourself. What who really want to be by their self? Though? 102 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,840 Speaker 1: I mean, let's just have an honest convers put your 103 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: hand down. Other than his bitter ass, evil, distraught old ass, 104 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: don't ran over used and abused guy like that. Other 105 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: than that who don't want to be alone. Everybody wants somebody. 106 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: Then you say, how do I know that the man's 107 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: intentions are genuine and he's not looking for the come up? 108 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,919 Speaker 1: Like I told you, it's easy, he gonna want a 109 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: lot of stuff. What if he's a really great guy 110 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: but he's living check to check. If I were you, 111 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,599 Speaker 1: I would sign up for that, because that really great 112 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: guy hard to come by. He ain't gonna always be 113 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: living check to check. Now, great guys turn it around eventually. 114 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: Great guys become great men, become great fathers, become great husband. 115 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: All right, Money don't determine none of that? Am I 116 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: preaching today? Yes? You are, amen, Amen, Amen, And you 117 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,559 Speaker 1: can preach the more part two of your sermon coming up, Steve. 118 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: Come on, let's get to part two of your response 119 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: to today's Strawberry letter. They don't make him like they 120 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: used to. You know, I was talking about this young 121 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: lady who sayings too many contradictory things in her letter 122 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: about coming up. She's talking about, you know, majority of 123 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: people living check to check. Some men are looking to 124 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: be taking cal I told her to the man that 125 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: has money, don't make him a good man. You're gonna 126 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: have to would should I take a man who's living 127 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: check to check? But it has great quality. Yeah, because 128 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: he's on the come up. Takes a long time for 129 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: a man to get it together and on the break. 130 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: I was reading another line. She said that was quite contradictory. 131 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: She said, don't get me wrong, I've been broke before, 132 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: so I'm not down anyone. Okay, you got that line, Shirley, 133 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: I do. Don't get me wrong. I have been broken before, 134 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: so I'm not downing anyone. Then she said, now that 135 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: I'm doing much better and I'm able to take care 136 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: of myself, here's the contradictory. Is it bad if I 137 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: don't settle for a half a man just to say 138 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 1: I have a man? Now? You just said you've been 139 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: broke before, so you're not downing anyone. Now you're telling 140 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: me because if a man don't have his finances together, 141 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: that he's half a man. Wow, sister, let me let me, 142 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 1: let me let me help you understand something. You are 143 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: setting yourself up for a contradictory life. A man's money 144 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: has nothing to do with his level of manhood. Some 145 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: of the best men I know and have known in 146 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: my life have far less than I have right now, 147 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: but I have the utmost respect for them, love and admiration. 148 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: I am constantly in a quest to become my father 149 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: all day. I'm just trying to be slick Harvey, That's all. 150 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to be the hardest working man I ever knew, 151 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: the best husband, and the best father I've ever seen. 152 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: This dude was there. He didn't miss a beat. He 153 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: didn't miss a beat. That's all I'm trying to be. 154 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: My dad ain't had a tenth of the money I got, 155 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: but he's the best example a man who that I 156 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: ever saw. So, Sister, I think you're wrong, and I 157 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 1: think you got to make an attitude adjustment. Now. You 158 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: said something in the letter about so is it selfish 159 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: for me to live my own life and continue to 160 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: pray for the man that God will send to me. 161 00:09:55,720 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: Suppose God send you this really great man and who's living. 162 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: Check to check that the church a man a man? 163 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: Amen again, Am, because I just can't knock these cats 164 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: that don't have it financially together. Because I gotta tell 165 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: you something I was wanted that I was that dude. 166 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: I lived in a car for three years. Man, I'm 167 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: pretty sure man, I met a couple of girls while 168 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: I lived in a car. They ain't see the potential. 169 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: I ain't blame him, and she wouldn't have been in 170 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: there with you for sure. Oh no, man, I ain't 171 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: ask nobody to come get in this car with me. 172 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't a good catch, but I hung 173 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: in there. I just kept hanging in there. These men 174 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 1: gonna eventually get it together. Good men become good husbands, 175 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: become good fathers. You gotta miss out on a good 176 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: husband and a good father because he don't have a 177 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 1: good check right now. If he's working and got a 178 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: plan and putting it together, that's called potential. And yeah, 179 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 1: you should marry potential, and yeah you should hook up 180 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: with potential because y'all can build something together. Everybody would 181 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: love to meet mister rich man and go on and 182 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: get their life made right off. But them numbers is few. 183 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: So listen to me, ladies. It's already hard to find 184 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: a good man. Now you're gonna narrow the search to 185 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:38,079 Speaker 1: a good rich man? What what at only five percent? 186 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: Here's a rate? Okay? Can I preach now? Yes, sir, 187 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: right ahead? Five percent of people make ninety five percent 188 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: of the money in the world. Five percent make ninety 189 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: five percent of the world. So now you want what 190 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: you cannot be looking for one of them five percenters. 191 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:09,440 Speaker 1: You know what kind of options they got? Yes, want 192 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: to shop. Do you understand me? They shopping how they 193 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: want to shop. They got options. Don't put yourself in 194 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,599 Speaker 1: that position. Find you a good man with some great potential, 195 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: and y'all going and build a life together. Stop looking 196 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: for these rich dudes, because you ain't the only one. 197 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: That line is long, and they take advantage of the 198 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 1: long lines. They interview a lot of people. Yes, and 199 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: it's wrong with you. They're not that long. Thank you 200 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:52,199 Speaker 1: for the Strawberry Letter. If you have a letter or 201 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: condition or situation that you would like some help with, 202 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:01,959 Speaker 1: please send it to Steve Harvey dot com dot com. 203 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: That's right, Steve Harvey FM dot com and we could 204 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: be reading, dissecting, and helping your life all We could 205 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: make a complete mockery of your letter. It just like yesterday. Yeah, yeah, 206 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: yesterday was a mockery letter. Today with some serious help 207 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: right here for women in need. Thank you very much. 208 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: Those are my remarks of the Strawberry Letter. You have 209 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:44,959 Speaker 1: a condition an a ligature a cipheronatic epodemical silence. I 210 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: like cipheronatic. You know what I'm saying or you don't 211 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: hear me. Now, when we come back, I'm gonna tell 212 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,720 Speaker 1: you this word I made up on a family Feudures 213 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: crowded for me so crazy. You're listening to the Dame 214 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.