1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,720 Speaker 1: My boyfriend is getting a little too close to his 2 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: old army buddy, and I can't believe what I found 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: on his phone. 4 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 2: Hey, what's so weird about two army buddies getting close 5 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 2: and cozy? 6 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: You know, you got your you got your drills? What 7 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: are they drilling? 8 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 2: Drills are important to be drilled. 9 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: You've got to fill each other. That's right, that's part 10 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: of army. 11 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 2: Drilling each other is quintessential. 12 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. You know you're you're wearing like cute matching uniforms. 13 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 2: Adorable. 14 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: That's that's freaking amazing. Yeah, you're climbing through the mud together. 15 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: You're grunting, oh right next to each other. You're singing songs. 16 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 2: Raight lift, right left. 17 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: My shoos are shot in my pants on top of 18 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: my balls or swinging from rot. You know you got 19 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: all these. 20 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 3: Wow, I haven't heard that. Apparently I'm not familiar with 21 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 3: the military. 22 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 2: One for me, did sung? 23 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 1: I female thirty. I have a boyfriend of three years. 24 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: We will call him Sam, whom I male thirty three. 25 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: In the beginning, he lost his friend group because of 26 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: a fight and he was pretty alone. But that wasn't 27 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: really a problem as we were pretty happy together. 28 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 2: Okay. 29 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: Anyway, he was in the military years ago, and sometimes 30 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: we talked about his time there and his buddy that 31 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: we'll call Leo Mail thirty. I sometimes made jokes about 32 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: their gayness for each other, as they were pretty close. 33 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,680 Speaker 2: Why why foreshadow? 34 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: A few months back, I wanted to surprise him and 35 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: find Leo's contact, as I thought it would be nice 36 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: if they could talk again as they lost contact over 37 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 1: the last ten years. 38 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: What a nice thing to do, Super nice. 39 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: I found him on Facebook and gave him Sam's email, 40 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: and he was excited and thanked me and told me 41 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: he would write him. He was excited, so excited. Sam 42 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: was super happy to hear from him, and he was 43 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: excited to meet up with him. He asked me if 44 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: I wanted to come with him, but I told him 45 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: I could meet his buddy another time. They should use 46 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: the time to talk and get to know each other 47 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: after all those years. Okay, Everything seemed cool and they 48 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: sometimes went for beers watch hockey games, and they got 49 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: really close again. I was so happy because he seemed 50 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: to be less depressed and actually went out again. I 51 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: actually you met Leo once and we had breakfasts gathered. 52 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: He was a really nice guy. A month ago, I 53 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: noticed they met up more often, and as happy as 54 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: I was, I was also a bit bummed because he 55 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: had less time for me, but it felt selfish to 56 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: tell him. So then I noticed we were doing it less. 57 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: You know, we had been doing it three times a 58 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,959 Speaker 1: day sometimes, and we didn't do anything for almost two weeks. 59 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 1: With two full time jobs and my health problems, it 60 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 1: was always weird to schedule, but I noticed it happened 61 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: less and less. 62 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 2: Dang, they were getting in three times a day with. 63 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: The jobs they missed remote work, Honey, I have a 64 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: lunch break. Usually he would initiate it more often, but 65 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: then I had a feeling it was always me who 66 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: asked or tried to feel him up. Again, I didn't 67 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: talk to him like I probably should have, and thought 68 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: he was just working more hours and was probably tired 69 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: or you know, depression is to deal with. Fast forward 70 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: to yesterday. I wanted to take a cute picture of 71 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: our cat, who was sleeping in a super weird slash 72 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: funny position, and I couldn't find my phone. Oh, so 73 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: I used his. You know, we're super open about our 74 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: phones we have you know, we know our past codes, 75 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: everything I saw a text pop up with kiss emojis, 76 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: and curiosity got the best of me. I opened it 77 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: and it was Leo who told Sam that he missed 78 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: him and it was excited about the weekend where they 79 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: would meet again, and told him he had a naughty surprise. 80 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: Oh I was shook. Leo no, and scrolled up further 81 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: and my fear was confirmed as apparently they have been 82 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: sleeping with each other behind my back for at least 83 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: a month. 84 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 2: Oh no. 85 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: He came back downstairs, so I put his phone back 86 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: where it was and didn't say a thing. I was shocked. 87 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: I went to bed early, instaid I had a migraine, 88 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: and he knows that I need darkness and no noise, 89 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: so he went into the living room to watch a 90 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: movie with headphones. I cried and cried and cried. He 91 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 1: felt so much anger. I brought this person, Leo back 92 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: into his life and basically presented him on a silver platter. 93 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: But on the other hand, if it weren't Leo, maybe 94 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: you know Sam would sleep with someone else. Did he 95 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: do it before? Was our entire relationship, Alie. I never 96 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: got the impression that he wasn't happy with us when 97 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: we did it. Was amazing. I wanted to marry this 98 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: man and have his babies, and now I just feel 99 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: sick to my stomach. How do I even start a 100 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: conversation about this? How do I compete with a man, 101 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: someone he has known for so long, someone whose cheeks 102 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: are clenched? Military? 103 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 2: Great military, great cheeks? 104 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: Yeah? Did they sleep together when they were in the army? 105 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: I'm confused. I don't know what to do. What should 106 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: I do? 107 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 4: Man? 108 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 1: So John, there's more, but quick intermission. What do you think? 109 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 3: I'm sad, That's what I think. It's so it's so 110 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 3: tragic that it's like also that Op introduced them, it 111 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 3: just kind of like makes it so much worse for 112 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:46,480 Speaker 3: some reason. 113 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's kind of rough. 114 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 3: It's kind of rough, like you like you could sit 115 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 3: back and think, like if I mean again, like OPI said, 116 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 3: probably he might have done it eventually anyways. But you're like, 117 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 3: if I literally hadn't have made this introduction, maybe it 118 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 3: wouldn't have happened. 119 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 2: I don't know. That's that's that's tough pill to swallow. 120 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, super tough. 121 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 2: And there's something else that's tougher to swallow that oh 122 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 2: going to. 123 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: Be I don't know. That's all I'm saying, Like, I 124 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: feel like you got to confront you know, yeah, you 125 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: have to say it. I know I haven't been in 126 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: a situation this but like bad, but I have been. 127 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: I've been in a a situation. I've been in like 128 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: two situations. One that was like five like like I 129 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: didn't really care about, and one that I did. 130 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 2: Is this a Sam's chronicle? 131 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: This is this is a this is a Sam's love 132 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: Chronicles from another era? Okay, yeah, the prequel. I'll tell 133 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: you one, like a little sad story really quick. I'll 134 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 1: call get back to the story. My first girlfriend. We 135 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: dated in high school. She was two years older than me. 136 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: She went to Georgetown, so she was in college when 137 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: I was in high school. Yeah yeah, And I was 138 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 1: absolutely madly in love with this girl. And then I 139 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: go to college. She is continuing college. He's like a 140 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: junior in college when I'm a freshman. And I remember 141 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: she would come back from like we would come visit 142 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: me and I would notice these things on her neck 143 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,160 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are those and she's like, oh, 144 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: spider bites. I'm I oh, I guess the spiders up 145 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 1: in Georgetown must like. 146 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,599 Speaker 2: They're going they got an infestation. 147 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I would learn later she was like getting 148 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: railed by the sailing team and uh yeah no, and 149 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: those were achys and not spider bites. Oh yeah, Sam, 150 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. It was It was rough. It was rough. 151 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: It was rough, but I found out and we ended things, 152 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 1: and then I became a better man for it. But 153 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,919 Speaker 1: I'm dying on the inside still. 154 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 2: The star of okop, that's right. 155 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: But I have another one that's kind of funnier that 156 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: I'll tell it the end. Oh, okay, okay, so there 157 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: is an edit. Okay, all right. So he came to 158 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: my mom's house and wanted to talk, and he told 159 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: me everything. How he and Leo were experimenting while in 160 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: the army, but it never really involved feelings, but when 161 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: they met again, they were just buddies. But then on 162 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: a drunken night, they started fool around again and they 163 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: started doing it. He said, he's probably by and then 164 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: he feels super crappy about how he broke my trust 165 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: like this. He promised me, Leo is the only man 166 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: he's ever slept with, and there weren't any women either. 167 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: He also promised me they were always using protection He 168 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: begged me to stay together with him to work on us. 169 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: He told me he would cut contact with Leo, that 170 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: we would go to counseling, would do anything. I told 171 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: him I still love him, but I could never see 172 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: him again. He isn't the person I fell in love with. 173 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: I also told him that the foundation of our relationship 174 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: is broken. Yeah, how can I be together with a 175 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: person where I constantly have to worry is he sleeping 176 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: with a male man or my cousin, the new neighbor 177 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: or whoever? 178 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 2: I love that assortment of characters. 179 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: We both cried, and I told him I need time 180 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: IB at my mom's house for a while. And while 181 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: I get this all sorted rough, I think OP made 182 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: the right decision. I mean, I want to know what 183 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: everyone else thinks. Put it in the comments. What do 184 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: you think Oh should have done? Who's the a hole? 185 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: Who's the angel? Give us the whole gamut? By John? 186 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: What do you think I. 187 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 2: Feel terrible for Op? What was the partner's name? 188 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 3: Again? 189 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: Do we know? Uh? We know Leo? Sam? 190 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 2: Sam? 191 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 4: If Sam had just been honest from the beginning and 192 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 4: said like, hey, look, this is like we fooled around 193 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 4: an army. 194 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 2: We totally came in. 195 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 3: I totally came in with intentions and like starting to 196 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 3: catch feelings and wanted to be upfront and honest with 197 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 3: you just like this is just with or or Leo 198 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 3: made a move on me and I, you. 199 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: Know, I don't know how I feel about it. 200 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just wanted to. 201 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 3: Come tell you like even that you know, potentially maybe 202 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 3: not reconcilable totally up top, but that at least would 203 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,199 Speaker 3: have been like all right, like you were like as 204 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 3: soon as something kind of actually happened or went down 205 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 3: or you recognize your strong feelings. 206 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 2: You go and you're honest about it. 207 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: Well, it preserves the integrity of the relationship, right, And 208 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: it's like you can you can maybe salvage something or 209 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: look back at it. Yeah, look back at the person better, 210 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: right YEA, like just think like oh, like you know, 211 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: just didn't work out. But like speaking from experience, like 212 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: if that breach of trust is broken, you're gonna have 213 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: a really hard time just thinking that person is like 214 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: a good person or just worthy person. Yeah, and then 215 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: it like makes it hard to just have a relationship 216 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: with them ever. Yeah, And like I think like, uh, yeah, 217 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: just you should like that happens, right, Like, you meet 218 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 1: someone and you could fall in love with them, right that, 219 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 1: Like that stuff can happen. But if that ever happens 220 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: to you, like just try to be the best person 221 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 1: you can be and be upfront before something happens and 222 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: give context to your partner too. 223 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, at a minimum, like when it started going down, 224 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 3: you could have even been like I'm literally like I 225 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 3: don't know what's going on, yeah, and I don't know 226 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 3: where I want to go, and like like but I 227 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 3: but I wanted to be upfront with you as soon 228 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 3: as possible that you at least preserve the honesty. 229 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, but dude, that's freaking rough. 230 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 2: It's rough. Yeah, as rough as Leo dishes it. 231 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,959 Speaker 1: I have been in a situation where I was like 232 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: the last guy that a girl dated before she decided 233 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: that she wasn't intimate anything nice. 234 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 3: I got a small one too, but the floor is yours. 235 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 1: Okay. So I just broken up with my with an 236 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 1: ex girlfriend and I was just like not in a 237 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: position to date at all, but like I was like 238 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: like hooking up with some some people, and I remember, 239 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: like I would I was in this space where I 240 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: was just like I wanted to be just candidly honest 241 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: with people and not really just like as honest as possible, 242 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 1: and honesty was the only metric that I was going 243 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: off of. And I remember this girl came over and 244 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: we were like watching we were watching Watchmen when that 245 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: came out the show, the TV show, and she said 246 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: she wanted to be a screenwriter. And I remember like, oh, 247 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: that's cool, Like what are you like, you know, doing 248 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: to go towards that goal? And she's like, ah, like 249 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: you know, like I think I'm just gonna like wait 250 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: and you know, and figure it out and just like 251 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: like it'll come, like yeah, And I'm like I kind 252 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,719 Speaker 1: of challenge her on. I'm like, oh, I don't think. 253 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: I don't think it will come if you actually don't 254 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 1: like put put effort into like you really need to 255 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: like really want it. And basically we went into this 256 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: whole long conversation where she ended up crying, saying she 257 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: doesn't think she has what it takes to like commit 258 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: to be a screenwriter. She doesn't feel like she really 259 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: wants to. And it was like a super like emotional 260 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: at least, like I didn't think I was being mean, 261 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: but we were just having like a very candid conversation 262 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: about something she wanted to do anyway she needed it 263 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: crying and we didn't hook up. And then and then 264 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 1: she left and I didn't talk to her again, and 265 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 1: then I ran into her and who and she just 266 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: like went up to She's like, what to thank you? 267 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: After our date, I realized I was just really into girls. 268 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: Still not a screenwriter though. 269 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 3: Okay, so that to me, I'm a little bit like 270 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 3: she was like, you got me on the screenwriting, now 271 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you. 272 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't even like that. 273 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: You realize you I was done? Yeah, yeah, I wasn't. 274 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: Honestly like it was like I feel like the advice 275 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: that I was giving her was actually solid, but the 276 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: way that I was like giving it was I don't 277 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,439 Speaker 1: think very empathetic. 278 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 2: YEA candor is a two way street. 279 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: It is, Yeah, I mean you have to be like 280 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: one relationship one when you're when you're when you're giving 281 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,319 Speaker 1: advice or you're giving candid advice. It needs to come 282 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: from a place of love and so you don't know 283 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: the person. Then it does like it's like it doesn't 284 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: really do anything. And then you just have to make 285 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: sure that you're actually like like like, is your advice 286 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 1: gonna help? Yeah, you know, and there's only certain people 287 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: that are like ready to hear it. 288 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, Honestly, recently I've been I used to try to, like, 289 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,319 Speaker 3: you know, if I felt like, okay, you know what 290 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 3: this really this might challenge someone, but like I do 291 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 3: want to like give it, still giving it Now, I'm 292 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 3: currently more in a place where I'm like, I feel 293 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 3: like if someone is just not even like a bit 294 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 3: like there's levels to it, if they're not even leaning 295 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 3: in at all towards anything, I'm like, what's the point. 296 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think, uh, like I think, like 297 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: I guess, like my my thought is like I want Yeah, you. 298 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 2: Wouldn't want that in that scenario, right. 299 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: Well, I guess like for me, I would want my 300 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: friends to to give me advice. Yeah, if they ever 301 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 1: thought that I wasn't doing something right or could do 302 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: something better, or like it missed an opportunity or there 303 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 1: was an opportunity or whatever. Right, But then you know, 304 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 1: you just also have to be in the place where 305 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: you're ready to receive it. And so in a friend 306 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: and ask asked advice, then I'll give them that advice. 307 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: But also like assess, like I was giving a friend 308 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: like he was like getting he was getting into design right, 309 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 1: and he asked me some thoughts on his initial designs, 310 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:41,439 Speaker 1: and like he wasn't in a space where he needed criticism, 311 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,839 Speaker 1: he needed like support, show it like it. It was 312 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: really cool that he was like, oh shit, you're working 313 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: on some sick shape. 314 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:46,679 Speaker 2: Yeah. 315 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like like you kind of need to applaud, 316 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: Like there's certain stages where you just need like applaud action. Yeah, 317 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 1: and then once enough action has been made over a 318 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,679 Speaker 1: series of time, then you can be like this is 319 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: how you like, this is how I think you can 320 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 1: improve that is. But I think it's like a lot 321 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: of times you need to you need to reward action. Yeah, 322 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 1: that's the thing that you should like really dive into 323 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: rather than you know, the criticism. 324 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 3: Getting to the next step is ten times more important 325 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 3: than like, yeah they might someone might not be able 326 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 3: to do with the twenty things that could optimize that anyway. So, 327 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 3: but what's your what's your your story? Well, a little 328 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 3: a little bit less intense, but uh, like I literally 329 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 3: I would like, you know, have girlfriends or date but bro, 330 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 3: I was terrified of like I was terrified of kissing 331 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 3: really oh like just like stomach was just melting out 332 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 3: of my butthole. So like literally like seven grade, eighth grade, 333 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 3: ninth grade, even up until the end of a uh, 334 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 3: tenth grade, I would literally just like kiss my girlfriend 335 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 3: on the chee could run away. 336 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 2: I was so terrified. 337 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: That's so funny. 338 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: I was so terrified. 339 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: Why you don't remember what your skilled? 340 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I. 341 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 3: Just like insecure and just like, oh man, am I 342 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 3: gonna like do it kiss? 343 00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 4: Right? 344 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 2: And you know that kind of thing, just like just 345 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 2: the nerves. I don't know general nerves. 346 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 3: But my first like girlfriend that I did anything like 347 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 3: holding hands and like stuff like that. 348 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 2: It was in eighth grade. 349 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: And then so much earlier than I did, but I 350 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: didn't really do any like still I have a no 351 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: I kissed her on the cheek. Yeah, literally, I think 352 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: I had my first kiss and like really like software 353 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: year high school. 354 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, mine was freshman year, but it was Yeah, it 355 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 3: was barely kind of barely a kiss, but it was 356 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 3: a kid. I'll give it to myself, but yeah, so 357 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 3: you know we would I would give. 358 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: Your past self up. 359 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I was kind of up on her. 360 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 3: We were holding hands and then I can't even remember 361 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 3: what happened. I think she said you want to be friends, 362 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 3: and then eventually I found out she was she was 363 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 3: batting for the team. 364 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: Wow, hey, you know at least at least you know 365 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: it wasn't you. Yeah, course is bigger than you at play. 366 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 2: This is true. 367 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: This is true.