1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, it's time now to check your voicemail 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: at eight seven seven twenty nine. Steve, you can call 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: us and leave a message and you just might hear 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: your call on the air. This is from Selena Steve 5 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: who left a message about grief. Take a listen. 6 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 2: Hey, Steve. My name is Selena. I'm thirty four years 7 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: old and I recently lost my mom. Is about to 8 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 2: be a year in December, and I find myself really 9 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 2: like plumaging into grief and just having that like, dang, 10 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 2: you really let me girl. You always seem to give 11 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 2: really good advice and I want you to listen to 12 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 2: see you all. But so I was just calling because 13 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 2: I wanted to know if you can give me some 14 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 2: advice because I know she's nine times out of saying 15 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 2: she would agree with what you had to say. Thank you. 16 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 3: Well, you know, grief is different for everybody. There's no 17 00:00:53,360 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 3: manual for grief. Grief is oftentimes just the miss sing 18 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 3: of love and that I don't know that that goes away. 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 3: I still grieve the loss of my mother and it's 20 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:13,520 Speaker 3: been twenty eight years. I still grieve that. Here's what 21 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 3: you have to do, though, and I learned this at 22 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 3: my mom's funeral. I was sitting there and I was 23 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 3: at the most broken moment I've ever been in. And 24 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 3: the pastor stood up after everybody had talked, and he 25 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 3: was talking to the five of us, the six of us, 26 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 3: my father, and the five children, and he said, I 27 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 3: know this is the worst day of your life, but 28 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 3: I want you to take a moment to turn around 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 3: and look at this church. And for the first time 30 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 3: I turned around and looked at the church. It was packed. 31 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 3: The balcony standing room only. He said, we got the 32 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 3: overflow room downstairs. It's packed two there's no more room. 33 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 3: He said, we have put speakers outside because people are 34 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 3: in the park lot on the street to come to 35 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 3: pay respect to your mother. Your mother has been in 36 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 3: the soul saving Sunday school business for forty years. He said. 37 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 3: She done taught every hustler, gambler, pimp, servicemen, congressman and 38 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 3: mayor to come through this city. He said, Now, as 39 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 3: you sit there and you grieve the loss of her, 40 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 3: I want you all to think of all of the 41 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 3: lives that she affected. That's why this church is so 42 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 3: full right now, he said. Remember all the great things 43 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 3: she taught you. He said, now listen to this. When 44 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 3: you do that, joy and depression cannot reside in the 45 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 3: same space. And for that brief moment, for the first 46 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 3: time in a week since my mama had died, I smiled. 47 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 3: I had not smiled the entire week. And then he 48 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 3: was right because I looked at the procession of people 49 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 3: that was coming around to view my mama's body. Gangsters, hustlers, pimp, 50 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 3: dope boys, I mean, hey man, and they all stop 51 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 3: to my brothers. They was my big brother's friends. A 52 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 3: lot of them was mine. Hey man, your mama tried 53 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 3: to save me. Man, I appreciate your mama. Your mama 54 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 3: told me about the Lord. Is that the only reason 55 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 3: I'm still here. I had a dude come see my mama. 56 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 3: Been on the run thirty years. He came back to 57 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 3: Cleveland to see my mama and then he had to 58 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 3: get up out of town. He's still on the run. 59 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: So it's good to save you from. 60 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 3: Brother stood up and husband and they missed it. That 61 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 3: was a gangster moment. But to her, think of the 62 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 3: joyous thing she has taught you, and smile about it, 63 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 3: and you still gonna share tears about it. Everybody on 64 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 3: this show Shirley Carler, the lost their mama. They will 65 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 3: tell you Tommy lost his dad. Ain't that ain't going 66 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 3: nowhere now? Every day it's gonna be days, man. But 67 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 3: as the time gets only been a year, it's gonna 68 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 3: get better for you. Just hanging that. 69 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, hopefully Selena can take something from that jew. 70 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 3: And here's one other thing. This is just a little 71 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 3: gangstous thing to keep with you. This is what keeps me. 72 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 3: If anybody say anything about my mama, I slapped all 73 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 3: the flavor out they mouth on site, on site to 74 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 3: this day. I don't care who you are, open your 75 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 3: mouth if you want to. I'm gonna give you some 76 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 3: of this grief today. 77 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: All right, coming up next, Have a good day, Selena. Yeah, 78 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: thank you for your call, Selena, and our condolences. Of course, 79 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.