1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: All right, Scotty, Kurt, would you like a funny story? Yeah, 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 1: here's one for you. Canine bites Col Deputy chases Canine, 3 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: Col kicks deputy. 4 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 2: Oh man, it's a soap opera of events though. That 5 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 2: is definitely bananas. 6 00:00:26,480 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 3: Do world, my sillion pieces. 7 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 4: Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to Bananas. I am Kirk Brown Oler. 8 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 4: That's Scottie land Is. 9 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 2: Hi. 10 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there 11 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: ever was. 12 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 4: Kurt. 13 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: I think we should just bring our guests right on. 14 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 4: Oh, I agree, one, I'm very excited. 15 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, today's guest is actually one of my friends, one 16 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: of my favorite people. It's always nice when we know 17 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: the person you know, it just always brings in. It's 18 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: always better. She's an actor who you can currently see 19 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: on the comedy Switched and on the be Et series twenties. 20 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: It's the one and only. Oh and also she's the 21 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: only guest we've ever had on that I've been to 22 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: a Shania Twain concert with. So let's give it up 23 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: for Madeline Byrne. Hi. 24 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 5: Hey, guys, why do I feel like you just say 25 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,919 Speaker 5: that about every guest? 26 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: That's true? Well, because I go to a lot of 27 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: Shania Twain concerts. That's why, so I. 28 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 5: Believe it really good times. Hi guys, thanks for having me. 29 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 2: Where did you guys go see Shania Twain at Staple Center? 30 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: Was it? 31 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 5: And remember those remember going to concerts? 32 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: No I knows, yeah, so many people, so gross. It 33 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: was a very funny concert because Shanaia had just gotten 34 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: i think divorced again, like right before she went on tour, 35 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 1: and a lot of her songs are very like We're 36 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: in love and love last forever and so between. And 37 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: a ton of bachelorette parties too. Do you remember that, 38 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: madel And there were like a ton of bachelorette parties. 39 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 5: Well, I remember saying to you because I think you 40 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 5: were the one that told me that her husband left 41 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 5: her for her best friend and then and so you 42 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 5: were telling you all this and I was so affected 43 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 5: by that information. And you were like, she's you were 44 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,959 Speaker 5: so you about it. You were like, she's fine, look 45 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 5: at her, she's fine. It was like her best friend 46 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 5: and her husband, this is crazy. You're like, look at 47 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 5: her having a great time. 48 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 4: Look at her, she looks great. 49 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: All those different outfit changes, so it's all these bats 50 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: are at parties and then so like one of her 51 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: big songs is like You're still the one, Still the one, 52 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: and but before she's like, all right, y'all, I gotta 53 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: get real love. It don't always last, and everybody's like 54 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: the air gets sucked out of the room, like you 55 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: could feel the tears welling up, and it's like, but 56 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: we tried, don't we And then she just belts out 57 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: that song and you're like, oh God, she's going through 58 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: it right now. 59 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 5: In a Leopard onesie. 60 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,079 Speaker 4: Nonetheless, that's right, Oh. 61 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 2: Having tears and a Leopard onesie. You never want to 62 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 2: cry in a Leopard onesie? 63 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 5: Or do you always want to cry? 64 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 1: I only want to cry in a Leopard onesie. I 65 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: should order myself a Leopard onesie. 66 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 5: You know. 67 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 2: I did order myself. I have like a wrestling onesie, 68 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 2: but I don't wrestle and I don't use it for 69 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 2: use it for walking around. But it's just it's like 70 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: a it's a pug face the whole way down really, 71 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 2: so it's yeah, it's pretty amazing. It is just like 72 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,200 Speaker 2: you know, it's got it's like a tank top on 73 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 2: the top and then go right down into shorts all 74 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 2: connected with a big pug face on it and it's 75 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 2: fun to wear to parties and nobody. 76 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 5: Do you have a pug? Or no, oh that makes 77 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 5: it better, that makes it better. 78 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 4: Nope, do not have a pug. Just found it and 79 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 4: I was like, I'm. 80 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: In the very first time I did stand up comedy. 81 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: I wore wrestling unitard, all black and high tops, and 82 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: I came out to the rocky theme con Quinn was 83 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: the EMC. It was in front of about three hundred 84 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: people in college, and I put a giant banana inside 85 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 1: the unitard on my left thigh and then my idea 86 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: was I was just gonna do my you know, five 87 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: minutes or four minutes, and then if I recognized anybody 88 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: in the audience, I was gonna throw them the banana. 89 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: And right in the front row is my friend Bookie, 90 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: and she's like the whole time, just staring at it 91 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 1: and laughing. And I tossed it to her and she 92 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: just screamed and didn't catch it and got out of 93 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: the way. And I was like, well, but I got 94 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 1: a big laugh. So I was like, Okay, I'm I'm 95 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,479 Speaker 1: making inroads. Maybe I have a career in this thing. 96 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 2: Wait, why was Colin Quinn hosting you doing stand up 97 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 2: in college? 98 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 4: Was it like a bunch of people or yeah? 99 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: It was called the Funniest Man in Massachusetts Contest, and 100 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: there was a foreign There was an internet site pre 101 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: YouTube called IVTV or I See TV or something like that, 102 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: and they did a contest where they went to every 103 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: major state college in the country, and then the funniest 104 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: person moved on, and then the winner went on tour 105 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: with Andy Dick. But then Andy Dick, as Andy Dick does, 106 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: had some narcotics issues. So Colin Quinn drove up from 107 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: New York and mced it instead, and Ralph Harris was 108 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: like the opener, and then Colin Quinn closed, and then 109 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: thirty of us did four minutes of comedy. 110 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 5: Were you the funniest One? 111 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: I got second place? And I got second place to 112 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: a guy did the Chris Farley sketch van down by 113 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: a river word for word, and brought out a little 114 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: cardboard table. He did the Matt Foley sketch word for 115 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: word and then fell on the table. He won. You know, 116 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 1: I lost to a juggler. He got third. I got second, 117 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: and then a juggler who stole somebody else's routine got 118 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: disqualified after winning. So I was living in Florida at 119 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 1: the time and they called me and they're like, do 120 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: you want to go on tour with Andy Dick And 121 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: I was like sure, and they're like great, well, first 122 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: tonight you have to do stand up for Sinbad in Springfield. 123 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,360 Speaker 1: And I was like, I only have four minutes. 124 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 4: So this is like we just went down like that. 125 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 2: I have never heard this, I know, yeah, so wait, 126 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 2: why do you have to open for Sinbad? You already 127 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 2: proved yourself, you had an original act. The Juggler got disqualified. 128 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: Well, I think what they wanted to do is uh well, 129 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: So I this was like two months after the fact, 130 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: so I thought it was over and then I get 131 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: a call from this thing in Canada, which was like 132 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: the Comedy Central Canada was Comedy Lab or the Comedy Lab, 133 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 1: and they were like, hey, we've been running your set 134 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: with these three comedians and we think you're really great 135 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: and we want to you to know that you won 136 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: because the Juggler played darized somebody else's act. So I 137 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: was like, amazing and they were like, so they thought. 138 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: I was in Massachusetts where I went to schools, and 139 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 1: Springfield is really close to you mass, So they were like, 140 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: come open for Sinbat tonight. 141 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 4: Also, I'm like. 142 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: Eighteen years old, and I'm like, so you want a 143 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: skinny white boy wearing a unit tar to open in 144 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: front of I don't know, three thousand probably middle aged 145 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: black folks and do my college material about unlubricated condoms. 146 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: And I really killer Sean Connery in person oppression and 147 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: I was like, no, thank you, But I was in Florida. 148 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: I couldn't afford to fly up there that day, so 149 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: I missed it and then I never I did stand 150 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: up for one more year and then never again. 151 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 5: Oh man, A way better life. 152 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, touring with those guys, boy, that 153 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: would have really I would have I would never have 154 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: made it. I think I think. 155 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: The prize was touring with Andy and then he going 156 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 2: to the darkest place in comedy? Are you eighteen get 157 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 2: on tour with Andy Dick? You're gonna be destroyed when 158 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 2: you're done. 159 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 5: I have to google Andy Dick because I think I'm 160 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 5: thinking of somebody which one. 161 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, he looks very innocent and he uh oh yeah 162 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 2: dark when he starts doing drugs. 163 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 5: Yeah I remember him. 164 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, speaking of not really, but here we go. 165 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: Let me tell you about this story. April and April 166 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: Rose and Underscore April Underscore Rose sent this in thank 167 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: you very much, April uh and this was written by 168 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: the one and only Chase Lawden's lagger for w cbdent 169 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 1: the best in the business. K nine bites cow, deputy 170 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: tases K nine cow kicks deputy in Georgetown, South Carolina, 171 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: South Carolina police officer investigating a burglary. Burglary set off 172 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: a chain of events that saw a dog, a cow, himself, 173 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: and a homeowner all get injured. Oh boy. It reportedly 174 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: began at four pm on a Wednesday, very safe time 175 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: a day, very safe day of the week. Yeah, nobody 176 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: sees it coming at four Nothing bad can happen at 177 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: a four pm on a Wednesday. The deputy responded to 178 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: a burglary call, readied his K nine, and then waited 179 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: for backup to arrive before checking out the residency reportedly 180 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: being broken into. The dog decided to call an audible quote. 181 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: A cow nearby distracted the dog, and he subsequently bit 182 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: the cow. In an attempt to protect the cow from 183 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: other injuries. He tried to tast the dog, which had 184 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: already been bitten by the cow. Once the K nine 185 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: was leashed and put back in the cruiser, the panic 186 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: cow reportedly struck the deputy and a woman who owned 187 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: the property where all this chaos ensuits. 188 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 2: And meanwhile, like the burglars just sneaking out the back 189 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 2: with like the TV or whatever. 190 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,359 Speaker 5: How's the dog now, I'm sad. 191 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 1: I agree. I think it's a I think it's so sad. 192 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: The dog is fine. All involved reportedly only suffered minor injuries, 193 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: and it turned out there was no burglary. It was 194 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: a false nine one one call, which is a crime. 195 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 1: Don't do it. 196 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 4: Oh gosh, that cow called that. 197 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 2: That cow called nine one one. Yeah, just like I 198 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 2: want a cow want somebody today. I don't even understand 199 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 2: where how the cow was. See in my head right now, 200 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 2: I'm imagining the wrong scenario. I'm imagining like a city 201 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 2: street with a cow front and no. 202 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 4: But this was probably where it can. 203 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: In the country, and the sticks it's in South Carolina 204 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah, it's a chain of events. It's 205 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: a Rube Goldberg. It's slapstick. I've never seen an aggressive cow, 206 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: so I don't know what actually happened. I love unlikely 207 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: animal friends, I hate unlikely animal enemies. 208 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 4: Did you Madelin, did you grow up Did you grow 209 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 4: up anywhere near cows? 210 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 5: No? 211 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 4: Did you grow up in? 212 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 5: I grew up near San Francisco. Unfortunately I got no 213 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 5: cow experience, and I have never lived outside of California, 214 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 5: So just city girl. 215 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 4: But dang, great state. 216 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 5: I wish I did grow up on a farm. I'm 217 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 5: not gonna lie. My favorite movies are those like, you know, 218 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 5: like Hannah Montana movie. Just kidding. 219 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 1: Yes, living on a farm, but you have a dog, 220 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: so you have to live that city dog park life. 221 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 1: Sometimes that can be just as chaotic. 222 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 5: Oh, dog park is like is one of the most dangerous. 223 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 5: It's like drug deal. It's like you kind of have 224 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 5: to keep looking over your shoulder. You're just it's very sketch. 225 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 2: It is we stop bringing we like we would bring 226 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 2: our dog and our dogs like just in between the 227 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 2: small dog park and the big dog park. Like he's 228 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 2: like forty seven pounds, she can go either way. When 229 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 2: you bring her in the small dog park, people get 230 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 2: mad at you, and when you bring her in the 231 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 2: big dog park, she gets fucking destroyed. So it's just 232 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 2: always like that thing of like which dog is a 233 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 2: fucking lead and which guy doesn't care. 234 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 5: Fifty pounds is a big dog to me. 235 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, but she's like only this big. Okay, Yeah, she's 236 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 4: under your she's morbid OBEs. 237 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's she's nine inches, she's a teacup poodle, but 238 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: she's sixty long six inches wide. 239 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 5: Got it? No, I mean, my dog's a grumpy old 240 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,839 Speaker 5: man and he only cares about tennis balls. So if 241 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 5: you get up in his business, he's completely uninterested and nice. 242 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 5: But I don't know if he'd be friend of cow. 243 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 5: I don't know. That is so interesting. I've never seen 244 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 5: cows do little, really anything besides just be a cow. 245 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 2: And I have heard like people and I try not 246 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 2: to eat red meat, but I've heard people talk about 247 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 2: specifically Nicky Glazer, I think talking about like people having 248 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 2: friendships with cows. And when I see a cow, I 249 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 2: have never met an animal that seems more more dead 250 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:26,559 Speaker 2: to the face. I've never seen them do anything. 251 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 4: I never seen any any emotion from them. 252 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 2: But I'm gonna get I'm sure we're gonna get a 253 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 2: bunch of ban animals who are like, my best friend 254 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 2: is a cow. His name is Brian, and things that 255 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 2: no one else would ever tell yes, and I appreciate. 256 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 1: Sweet they're sweet face, They're cute. They just ignore you. 257 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: They're just indifferent to the human experience, which is probably 258 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: the best way to live on this planet. I think 259 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 1: I might have told you both this story at some point, 260 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: but give it to me. The only I was trying 261 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 1: to think of if I had any crazy dog story. Reason. 262 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: I've always had pretty good pet dogs growing up. But 263 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: I got a few years ago. About five years ago, 264 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to be in la for 265 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,080 Speaker 1: a long time, so I wanted a convertible. So I 266 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: bought a little used convertible. And it wasn't the first 267 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: time I took it out, but I was just like 268 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: happy to be driving it down Sunset Boulevard and there's 269 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: palm trees and it was felt amazing. 270 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 4: So I cut up Laurel in the in the in 271 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 4: the in the seat. 272 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a skeleton in the back seat. I 273 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: got Van Halen on the Pioneer CD player with only 274 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: one speaker that works. I was having a Wednesday four PM, 275 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: so I cut up Laurel Canyon. Huge mistake because it's 276 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: just traffic the whole way for people who've never been 277 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 1: to Los Angeles. Laurel Canyon is a windy road up 278 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: like a mountain side that takes you from sort of 279 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 1: Hollywood West Hollywood to the valley. It's it's a fun drive. 280 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: But I was just sitting in the sun baking and 281 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: I get up towards the top of Laurel and the dog. 282 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: There's a like an suv in front of me, and 283 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: there's a dog in the back with the window down, 284 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: and it is barking insanely towards this field. And uh, 285 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my, see a coyote or maybe it 286 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: just sees a person on a bike. Dogs are weird 287 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: like that. And then I see it's a dog. There's 288 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: just a dog off a leash, like a pretty big dog. 289 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: So I'm like, this is you know, that's what dogs 290 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: do when they can't get to each other. The uh 291 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: the unleashed dog, with nobody around, proceeds to charge full 292 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: speed at the suv and jump into the car through 293 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: the window. And the dogs are fighting in the back 294 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: seat like three cars ahead of me. Now, it was 295 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: the it was like watching a horror movie. Then I'm 296 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: in a convertible that doesn't have an automatic top, so 297 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, are they gonna kick this thing out? That 298 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 1: it's just gonna come for the skeleton, But it was 299 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: like a bull charged across traffic, jumped up in the 300 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: air and just flew into the car. And I was like, 301 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: I've never seen this. I didn't know this could happen, 302 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: and it just was happening. And then like they opened 303 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: the door and people are screaming, and like all these 304 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: people are feeling filming it on their phones. It's probably 305 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: on YouTube. It's probably me listening to like Panama with 306 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: sunglasses on and a funny hat, and then like War 307 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: War three is happening in the background. Oh no, it 308 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 1: was insane. And then the dog ran away. The light 309 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: turned green on mau Holland, and we just just all 310 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: kept going, what are. 311 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 4: You going to do? 312 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 5: Like you're holding out traffic, just go oh twisted. 313 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: It was so insane. 314 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 5: Why didn't they roll up the window, Like wouldn't you 315 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 5: be sick of your dog barking? Anyway? 316 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: Like what, yeah, yes, that's not the exactly the whole situation. 317 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: But it just escalated from zero to a thousand so quickly. 318 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: And I like to think that they, you know, we 319 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: all learned a lesson that day. Don't let your dog 320 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: bark it stray dogs going up Laurel Canyon. It's a 321 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: very easy lesson. 322 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, don't take Laurel Canyon just at all. 323 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, never take Laurel Canyon. KURTI b you got one 324 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: for us. 325 00:16:59,080 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 4: Yeah. 326 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 2: So this is I don't even want to read you 327 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 2: the title because it gives it away a little too much. 328 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 2: Is a beautiful story. I'm very excited. Also, really first 329 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 2: kind of pandemic related story we've done since the pandemic started. 330 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 2: But it's too good to not This was from BuzzFeed, 331 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 2: sent in by Sarah Dee. 332 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 4: Thank you, Sarah. 333 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: Love it. 334 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 4: Written by Lauren Stripagel. I think God, nobody better. Nobody better. 335 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 2: So a trend going around TikTok asked people to share 336 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 2: the dumbest tattoo that you've ever gotten and it can cut. 337 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 2: The woman has completely taken the cake. Leah Holland, twenty five, 338 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,640 Speaker 2: had wanted to get this specific tattoo for two years 339 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,880 Speaker 2: before she finally did it. Basically, I had a friend 340 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,639 Speaker 2: that said this quote about me, she told BuzzFeed News. 341 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 2: We were just talking about things that we really admire 342 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 2: about the other. 343 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: Oh God, and. 344 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 4: He said, you courageously and radically refused to wear a mask. 345 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: Okay, this is pre COVID. 346 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 4: This is pre COVID. She said. 347 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 2: She's the type of person who thinks it's pointless to 348 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 2: pretend you're something you're not. 349 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 4: So she liked the quote enough to get it tattooed. 350 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 2: She got it done on March fourth, twenty twenty two 351 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 2: days later, Kentucky as its first case of COVID nineteen. 352 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 2: And it is just like it's in that like a 353 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 2: typewriter font, you know, like mean meaning vulge, courageously and 354 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:35,199 Speaker 2: radically refuse to wear a mask. And she's had to 355 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,920 Speaker 2: live with that for At first it seemed okay. 356 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 4: Then things got weird. 357 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 2: I assumed that we would probably have to wear masks 358 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 2: and stuff. I didn't think that the anti maskers were 359 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 2: going to be such a thing, she said. To be clear, 360 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,120 Speaker 2: Holland herself is an anti mask but she was worried about. 361 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 4: People thinking, oh wow, mask tattoo. 362 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,280 Speaker 2: I spent the entire summer wearing cardigans so that that 363 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 2: could not be misconstrued. For the most of the summer. 364 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 2: I was mortified when she saw the TikTok trend. She 365 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 2: knew she had to participate. 366 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 5: Oh my god, I mean, is it like on. 367 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 2: Her like arm, like where it's right on her arm? 368 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 2: Oh boy, it's like right here, like you can't. No, Actually, 369 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 2: it's below the elbow. So you have to wear a 370 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 2: long sleeve shirt. Oh yeah, it's not even it's not 371 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,160 Speaker 2: even up on the shoulder where you could just wear 372 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 2: a like a T shirt over it or something. 373 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,239 Speaker 4: You have to wear a long sleeve shirt. It's on 374 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 4: like the forum. 375 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 5: That's something where like if you don't want to get 376 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 5: the whole thing taken off, you have to change mask 377 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 5: and refuse to wear a condom. I don't know, Like. 378 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 2: That's honestly, that would be the funniest Yeah, just change 379 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 2: it easy. 380 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 1: That is so funny. 381 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 2: It's beautiful, honestly, it's beautiful to me. To me, that 382 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 2: makes me so happy and glad. Do you have any 383 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 2: Do you have any tattoos? 384 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,119 Speaker 5: Matt I don't, but I spend all my time on 385 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,239 Speaker 5: TikTok so I there you go, I get it. 386 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: What does that mean? There are a lot of tattoos 387 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 1: on TikTok. 388 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,919 Speaker 5: No. No, this is the first I've heard about this trend. 389 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 5: But TikTok i mean, TikTok will expose the darkest of 390 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 5: the deepest holes, but it's beautiful, it's amazing. It makes 391 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 5: the every man go viral for something like this. It's perfect. 392 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 1: Yes, I see. Is that the advantage I've never I get. 393 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: We get sent TikTok's to the banana phone dms, but 394 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,440 Speaker 1: I've never used it. Kurt, you don't have a TikTok, right, 395 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: I do not, But. 396 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 2: Every comedian who is using it has millions and millions 397 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 2: of views on old Really. 398 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 4: They had already posted to Instagram. 399 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy, Madeline. What's the advantage. Why is TikTok 400 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: better than like Instagram Stories or Snapchat or something. 401 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 5: I mean, the way it is going now, at least, 402 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 5: I'm sure it'll shift, because all good things shift. But 403 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,680 Speaker 5: it's just really easy to go viral if you're just 404 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,199 Speaker 5: in normal person but have a really funny story, or 405 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 5: you create a fifteen to thirty second video that's just 406 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 5: so well done and unique, it'll get seen and the 407 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 5: engagement people commenting and things like that just help it 408 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,439 Speaker 5: blow up. So it's kind of it's more fun. You 409 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 5: get to see better quality stuff, and you really it's 410 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 5: kind of like your explore page on Instagram and you 411 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 5: see but it's good stuff and it's all video. 412 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, I see. Yeah. 413 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,199 Speaker 1: Do you find yourself using that more now than posting 414 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: stuff on Instagram? One? 415 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 4: Oh really? 416 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 5: It's uh yeah, it's more friendly to like the video format. 417 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 5: It's more fun. You did. Just my wallet is so 418 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 5: pissed because all I do is spend so much time 419 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 5: and money. Like I'll just someone's like, oh uh, this 420 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 5: is what you need to buy if you want to. 421 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 5: And I'm just like on Amazon, like shit, okay, opening 422 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 5: Amazon all day. 423 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 1: I have no ring lights. I have so many ring 424 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 1: lights in every direction is a ring. 425 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 5: Light exactly, exactly. Dog stuff, fashion stuff, thrift stuff, comedy food. 426 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,120 Speaker 5: You guys gotta do it. Post a little clips on 427 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 5: on TikTok for bananas. 428 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:20,959 Speaker 1: We shall please, Oh god, let's let's hire somebody. Please. 429 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,160 Speaker 4: We answer so many messages on Instagram. 430 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 1: It just kills us. It absolutely kills us. You want 431 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,199 Speaker 1: us to tease us into a little break here, Kurdie B. 432 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: Please I have oh you know what, I'm not even 433 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 1: gonna start the story, but I'm gonna say we're about 434 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,199 Speaker 1: to break new ground. We're gonna do our first zillow 435 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 1: dot com Banana story. 436 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 2: Shotted ladies and gentlemen, Welcome back to bananas. A few things. 437 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 2: I have a few shoutouts. Gott you know you started 438 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 2: doing the shout outs. 439 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 4: I like the shoutouts. A couple shoutouts. 440 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 2: One shout out to Anita Burton, who, after listening to 441 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 2: our buff Orpington tale, she works at Target, and she 442 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 2: sent me a video saying someone brought their emotional support 443 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,959 Speaker 2: chicken into the store and it was just wandering up 444 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 2: and down the aisles. One of the fellow managers had 445 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,199 Speaker 2: to chase it around until finally the owner grabbed it 446 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 2: and left with it under his coat. 447 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 4: Uh. 448 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 2: And she sent a video that she took of just 449 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 2: this chicken, just like just Chuck. 450 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 4: Chugging down to the aisle at Target. 451 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: Uh. 452 00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 2: I also wanted to say a shout out too, oh 453 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: Amy van Winkle, who was listening to the buff Orpington. 454 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,199 Speaker 4: I'm just obsessed with buff Warpington. 455 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: So Madeline buff Orpington. We Kurt and I thought that 456 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 1: was a human's name, and we thought it was the 457 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,440 Speaker 1: funniest name we've ever heard. It turns out it is 458 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 1: a breed of chicken, buff Orpington, which doesn't make it 459 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,160 Speaker 1: any last funny, but we haven't. Two to five hundred 460 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: of our fans message us saying it's a chicken and 461 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 1: send pictures of their chickens, So thank you for that. 462 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 2: But Amy van Winkle, she was listening to the latest 463 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 2: podcast when a delivery driver showed up to her studio 464 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 2: to pick up some art and while we were talking 465 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:42,119 Speaker 2: about Buff Orpington, his name Buff Hooper, which is the 466 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 2: first time I've ever heard a man named buff buff Hooper. 467 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: I love it. 468 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 4: I don't know if that's in the South. Sounds like buff, 469 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 4: sounds like maybe. 470 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 5: Or like this, you know, like the picture, Yeah. 471 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 4: Buff Buff, the Burt of Biff. 472 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to name a character in a script Orpington, 473 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: just because I guarantee you nobody in Hollywood knows that, 474 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 1: and I just want to see you on get on 475 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: the air. Well, let's let Madeline. Since we were talking 476 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: about TikTok and Instagram, why don't we let you plug 477 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: your accounts now and then we'll also tell people to 478 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,199 Speaker 1: go to the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or 479 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 1: the Bananas Podcast on Instagram. Tell us your. 480 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 5: Plugs beautiful, Yeah, Madeline Burne, it's a hard name to spell. Though, 481 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 5: do you want me to spell it? 482 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 1: Yes, because I've seen you get mad when it's misspelled. 483 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 1: So yes. 484 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,200 Speaker 5: Well, people just hear Madeline and they assume they know how. 485 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 5: But it's m A D E l E I n 486 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 5: e b y r n e E. It's French. I 487 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 5: don't know. That's just what God gave me. It's usually 488 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 5: that people go Madeline, Oh, so it's Madison. I don't know. 489 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,480 Speaker 5: That's usually what the go to is. 490 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,160 Speaker 4: And Madison burn bu are m yeah or. 491 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just uh, who knew? It was so difficult? 492 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 5: But that's okay. I'm pretty new. I've worked on shows 493 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,119 Speaker 5: and they say, Madison, can you stand over there? And 494 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 5: I say yes, I mean, yeah, easy. 495 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 4: I worked in New Orleans. 496 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: I was the showrunner on a show in New Orleans 497 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 1: and I had a one level employee down a guy 498 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 1: that worked for me call me Steve for two weeks 499 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 1: straight and nobody corrected him, including me and all the 500 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 1: rest of the cast, including the director, would look at 501 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: me and the crew. They'd be like, do you want 502 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 1: us to say something? I'm like, I think it's hilarious, 503 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: and like, Steve, you're right to roll, but like absolutely 504 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 1: whenever you're ready. 505 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 4: You kind of you could be a Steve, you could 506 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 4: be you can totally. 507 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 5: You can totally be a Steve or a buff. Now 508 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 5: I want you to name everything. 509 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: Thank you, Yes, thank you. We'll follow Madeline. That's E. 510 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 1: I n. E. Burne on TikTok and Instagram and everything. Okay, 511 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 1: so let me tell you about this zillow dot com 512 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,880 Speaker 1: story because this was sent in by Megan vant v 513 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: A and t Thank you, Megan. I didn't see a 514 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: writer because it's real estate listing. I assume there's a 515 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,360 Speaker 1: realtor out there, and I apologize to you and whoever 516 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:02,040 Speaker 1: you are, you are very funny. So okay, this is 517 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: our first one of these. This is in Zephyr Hills, Florida. 518 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: Kurt two bed, two bath, eight hundred and twenty six 519 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 1: square feet, so that'd be pretty good LA place, pretty 520 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: good LA apartment, two bathroom. And here so this I'm 521 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 1: just going to read you the listing zilla dot com. 522 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 1: The house is selling for sixty nine thousand dollars. This 523 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 1: is word for word the listing. 524 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 4: Here. 525 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:38,680 Speaker 1: It is literally the worst house on the street exclamation point. 526 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,919 Speaker 1: The seller has done the hard work of cleaning up 527 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 1: the almost half acre property parentheses. It only took seven dumpsters, 528 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 1: so now's your chance to take it away from us. 529 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: Have you ever watched HGTV and thought I could do that? 530 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: If so, pack up your tape measure and start googling 531 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 1: how to identify the load bearing wall, because it's time 532 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,479 Speaker 1: to put your money where your mouth is. The roof leaks, 533 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 1: the floor creaks, there's an awful draft. But this now 534 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 1: it says three bed, one point five bath home is 535 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 1: a very open concept. And by that I mean the 536 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: inside is open to the outside because several of the 537 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:24,400 Speaker 1: windows are missing. Oh man, I love this house. Let's 538 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: pull our money. There is a large sunny window in 539 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:33,439 Speaker 1: the kitchen and absolutely nothing else. It's a wonderful feature 540 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,639 Speaker 1: for someone interested in a bright reading space and or 541 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: ordering takeout for every single meal. Now, I know you've 542 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 1: heard of a detached garage, but have you heard of 543 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: a detached foundation, Because that's what you'll find here in 544 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: the large bonus room at the right of the home. 545 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 1: And if you're looking for a house that screams quote 546 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: I've got bizarre and bizarre and ominous energy, then honey, 547 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 1: stop the car, because you've found it right here in 548 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 1: North Zephyr Hills. I mean, whoever this realder is should 549 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: be a comedy writer. 550 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that's gonna sell, you know what I mean. 551 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 4: I'm not gonna sell. 552 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: I want to buy it just to be a part 553 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 1: of this. This is so funny to me. So if 554 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 1: you need a place right on US three oh one 555 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,280 Speaker 1: to stage your next post apocalyptic zombie movie, this could 556 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 1: be it. The covered porch really has a good quote. 557 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,479 Speaker 1: Rest here on your way to the safe zone vibes, 558 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: and whether you like to turn up the heat or 559 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: keep it cold, it won't matter because there's no HVAC system. 560 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: Oh and don't forget the brick chimney that perfectly epitomizes 561 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: how we all feel after twenty twenty. It's about to 562 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: collapse and going nowhere. This person is so good. Literally, 563 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: there isn't even a fireplace inside the house, so there's 564 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: a chimney, but no fireplace. Always a good design. What 565 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: else can we say about this one of a kind opportunity. 566 00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 1: It's not in a flood zone. This person's a genius, 567 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: and it will be conveyed with a clear title. But 568 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 1: we don't have the survey and the seller has never 569 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: seen the property, so buyers are strongly encouraged to do 570 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: their own due diligence. And if you're not interested in 571 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: crying yourself to sleep every night while you rehab this home, 572 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: we might suggest tearing it down and building a brand 573 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: new one. All the neighbors would likely thank you. Sixty 574 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 1: nine thousand dollars three seven nine to one to three 575 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 1: Avaco Avenue. Amazing, Wow, amazing, I bet you. 576 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,479 Speaker 2: I mean like, there's nowhere, there's nowhere probably near Zephyr 577 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 2: Hills to do an open mic. So this is this 578 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,720 Speaker 2: is this guy's open mic. And yes, he's killing it. 579 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 2: He or she is killing it. 580 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: Yes, I think it's fantastic. It's someone that I love 581 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 1: scanning a zillo. I love judging places I can afford. 582 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,560 Speaker 1: I think it's so fun. But this one is take 583 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 1: The pictures are a nightmare. I can't wait to post 584 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: this on the Instagram. 585 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,720 Speaker 5: Is that not weirdly expensive? For the trash? 586 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: I mean, right, sixty nine thousand dollars for. 587 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 5: I guess the land, I guess acreage? Yeah, right on 588 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 5: the freeway too. 589 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh, used on US three oh one in 590 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 1: North Zephyr Hills. 591 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 4: I mean, like that got me. 592 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 2: We've all thought about, right, We've all watched HGTV and 593 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 2: just been like, maybe this is you know when comedy 594 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 2: kind of putters out, maybe we I could do this, 595 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 2: And there's no I know, like I have that thought 596 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 2: for maybe it's not even half a second before I'm like, nope, no, 597 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I got some I got Adirondack 598 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,480 Speaker 2: chairs which were like the wood was shipped to me, 599 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 2: it was already cutting all. 600 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: You oh boy cry and it. 601 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 2: Assemble it and stain it. And my whole time I 602 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 2: was done with that, I was like, holy fuck. I 603 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 2: was so exhausted. I was just like that was incredibly difficult. 604 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,960 Speaker 2: But then now I'm like proud, like I built these. 605 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 2: I didn't build I just kind of put them together 606 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 2: but loosely assembled them. 607 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 5: That's that's its own hell though. So it's a great 608 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 5: feeling to be done with that. Oh my god, Yeah wow, 609 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:11,480 Speaker 5: I want to buy that. 610 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,719 Speaker 1: You ever hunt Zillo Madyland? Do you ever look up 611 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 1: dream homes and go maybe maybe this one's the one. 612 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 5: Every day I love it. I love pretending like I 613 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,520 Speaker 5: don't have a budget. I like start to think I 614 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 5: I don't know. I start to see people on Instagram 615 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 5: and YouTube that live really lavish lifestyles and I'm like, yeah, no, 616 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 5: my budget's four thousand dollars a month to rent. It's 617 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 5: like I'm living in this same rent control department for 618 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 5: ten years and yet I'm like, oh, this one doesn't 619 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 5: have a this the kitchen's not updated. Like I don't 620 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 5: think I am. That's the dream we all have to. 621 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 5: You have to pretend just to get by. It's a hobby. 622 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 5: I love to thrift. I love to look on zillo. 623 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,400 Speaker 1: I love that too, and I love to look at 624 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: like It'll be like a three bed, one and a 625 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 1: half bath, and I'm like, man, this was two bath, 626 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 1: I'd be so much more interested than I'm like two 627 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 1: point three million. I'm like, oh yeah, maybe maybe if 628 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 1: I have two point three million, I could throw a 629 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,640 Speaker 1: shower in there, stand up shower. Well. 630 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 5: Los Angeles is not real life. I mean the housing market, 631 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 5: real estate is insane. For like a fixer upper it's 632 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 5: a million bucks, You're like, this is trash. Yeah. 633 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 1: We were talking about that over the week and Kurt 634 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,640 Speaker 1: and I went camping earlier in the week for his birthday, 635 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 1: and we were talking about that, like, if you want 636 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 1: to get a fixer upper minimum eight hundred thousand dollars. 637 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 4: It's crazy. 638 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 5: And that's like, I mean, you probably have to leave 639 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 5: La actually to get something under a million, because it's Yeah, 640 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 5: I'm in West Hollywood. Can you just picture the McMansions, 641 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 5: just yes, every block. 642 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: God damn, it's crazy to me. What's the worst house 643 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: you ever stayed in, Kurt, worst place you ever spent 644 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: the night with friends? Doing comedy on the road? In college, 645 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: it was. 646 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 2: Scary traveling cross country. I have an immediate answer. Country 647 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 2: staying with my friend Darby. 648 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,280 Speaker 4: In New Orleans. 649 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 1: Oh. 650 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 2: Boy, the before we got there, well, first off, there 651 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 2: was no air conditioning. 652 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 4: It was just New Orleans. 653 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:11,240 Speaker 2: In New Orleans, no air conditioning. Windows are open. First 654 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 2: day we get and we're just drinking a lot. He's 655 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:17,800 Speaker 2: doing a lot of acid, of course, eating staplers. 656 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 4: I think I told that story once on Banana. 657 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: I think you did. 658 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 2: Yeh yes, and we and then and and then this 659 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,280 Speaker 2: punk band is going to come and do a show 660 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 2: uh in like three days, and so we were there 661 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:31,799 Speaker 2: to help. 662 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: This sounds so bad. This is such a good setup. 663 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,479 Speaker 1: This sounds so bad. 664 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 2: Already the first day we're there, they no one paid 665 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 2: the electricity bills, so the electricity goes off. 666 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,759 Speaker 4: So now we used to have fans that would like 667 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,280 Speaker 4: blow like the hot air at us while we slept. 668 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:49,439 Speaker 4: Now the fans don't work. 669 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 2: Oh great, and then we're just still like drinking, doing 670 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 2: drug And then the next day, this is the day 671 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 2: before the punk band is supposed to show up. They're 672 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 2: supposed to also sleep there, and there's not We're already 673 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,960 Speaker 2: sleeping on the ground like we're. 674 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 1: Seeing nothing smells better than a punk band. To a 675 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,520 Speaker 1: punk band is the closest thing to smelling like shin 676 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: guards permanently that you've ever smelled in your entire life. 677 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:13,839 Speaker 5: Shit car. 678 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 2: And then and then the water is turned off nobody, 679 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:24,399 Speaker 2: So then we are in the situation where it's so hot, 680 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,359 Speaker 2: and then no one can take a shower, no one 681 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,920 Speaker 2: can get a drink of water. And so we left 682 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 2: before the punk band came because we're just like, we 683 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,319 Speaker 2: wanted to see the band, but we're just like, we 684 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,840 Speaker 2: cannot stay here anymore. Imagine showing up to do a 685 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,919 Speaker 2: show and they're like, well, there's no water and there's 686 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 2: no electricity. 687 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:44,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's one. 688 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 2: Hundred and five degrees with ninety nine percent humidity after that. 689 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 1: Huh yeah, just sweating alcohol in New Orleans, just eating 690 00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:00,120 Speaker 1: casun food. Oh my god, that is a nightmare. You 691 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 1: were crashed somewhere. That just gave you instant nightmares and 692 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: you wish you were dead. 693 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, not a house. I'd stayed at a hotel for 694 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 5: all of like six hours when I flew in to 695 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,680 Speaker 5: shoot a movie in Kentucky during Kentucky Derby, and every 696 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,400 Speaker 5: hotel was booked except for this one. Yeah. Yeah, it 697 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,800 Speaker 5: was our first day. But we got to the hotel. 698 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,600 Speaker 5: It was during Kentucky Derby weekend, so everything was booked, 699 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,760 Speaker 5: and it was a it was like a smoking hotel. 700 00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:29,720 Speaker 5: So every floor every hotel, or every elevator, every room 701 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 5: reeked of cigarettes. And they tried to come in and 702 00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,160 Speaker 5: like do it up for us and make it look nice. 703 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,440 Speaker 5: I mean, it was pretty terrifying, but they, I mean, 704 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 5: they got us out of there. But I'll just remember 705 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,720 Speaker 5: I took a nap because we took a red eye, 706 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,279 Speaker 5: and I was just like, I didn't think I was 707 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 5: a high maintenance person until this exact moment, and I 708 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 5: had to like stand up for the girls because I 709 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 5: was the oldest and I sort of sent a text 710 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 5: like I don't, I don't, I can stay here. It 711 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,880 Speaker 5: was the best way. We all did like a communal 712 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 5: house for the first week, but we had to wait 713 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,440 Speaker 5: for Derby weekend to be over because dang, who knew 714 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:02,800 Speaker 5: Kentucky is popping? 715 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,239 Speaker 1: It's their main thing. Yeah, and you were the co 716 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 1: lead of that movie, so it's not like you were 717 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,399 Speaker 1: just some like, ah, she's got two lines like that 718 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:12,440 Speaker 1: is so bad. 719 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,200 Speaker 5: No, I know they I don't think they had any 720 00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:17,080 Speaker 5: idea because everyone's la base, So I think they were 721 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 5: just kind of throwing money at like an online situation. 722 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,799 Speaker 5: And there's nothing worse than walking into a setup where 723 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:27,799 Speaker 5: it's just cigarette like overload into the blankets, into the sheets. 724 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. You forget though, because like one used to be 725 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,080 Speaker 1: able to smoke on airplanes, which I think about all 726 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 1: the time, and how insane that would be used to 727 00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,799 Speaker 1: Like people used to just light up time. 728 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 2: Wow, half the half the cigarette half the plane was 729 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:41,920 Speaker 2: smoking was insane. 730 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:42,200 Speaker 5: Wow. 731 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:46,720 Speaker 1: And then the first I would say, for five years, 732 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,840 Speaker 1: I waited tables, Uh, every restaurant at a non smoking 733 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 1: and a smoking section, right, everybody had but usually and 734 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 1: this so this would have been around like two thousand. 735 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,920 Speaker 1: The on smoking section and a couple of those restaurants 736 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: was smaller than the rest of the restaurant, like and 737 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:09,479 Speaker 1: that there's nothing dividing it. It was just slightly somewhere else. 738 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 1: It's like there wasn't like a wall or a fan 739 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 1: or a door. It was just like, no, you can't 740 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 1: smoke directly. There's not an ashtray on your table. 741 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 5: It's basically is essentially yeah, right, oh my god, so bad. Yeah, 742 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,760 Speaker 5: it was just it was a bad first couple hours. 743 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,359 Speaker 5: It all worked out. We ended up all sharing a home. 744 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:32,279 Speaker 5: I mean, homes in Kentucky are gorgeous. That's the thing. 745 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,919 Speaker 5: The property like it's like twenty bucks for a mansion there. 746 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 5: I mean, you know, but like movie theater rooms, like, oh, 747 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:43,480 Speaker 5: let's why are we not moving there? Everywhere else besides La. 748 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,879 Speaker 1: I know a lot of our friends are I think 749 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,839 Speaker 1: during the Great Choar, a lot of people are like, 750 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to buy a home in Montana and I 751 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 1: want to be able to hide whenever I can because 752 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,719 Speaker 1: I can get one there for what costs what a 753 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,839 Speaker 1: car costs in LA. And you're like, yeah, go get it, 754 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,239 Speaker 1: have fun, get out there there. 755 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 4: You guys want to hear another one. 756 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,719 Speaker 1: Curtie B tell us another funny story. 757 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 2: This was sent him by a multiple people, but I 758 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 2: first saw it from Lillian Miles. 759 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 4: Is from Love Her New York. 760 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,400 Speaker 2: Times, written by Johnny Diaz. 761 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,960 Speaker 4: Thank you, Johnny. Wow. 762 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,279 Speaker 1: That guy is so good at what he does. Some 763 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,960 Speaker 1: say is the best in the business they do. 764 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:29,320 Speaker 2: Arizona man is accused of faking own kidnapping made work. 765 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 2: This is a real intense story. 766 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,200 Speaker 4: Okay, ladies and gentlemen. 767 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 2: The authorities in Arizona accused a man of going to 768 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 2: extreme lengths to get out of work this month, saying 769 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:48,360 Speaker 2: he faked his own kidnapping, bound his own wrists, guided himself, 770 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,320 Speaker 2: and invented a story. 771 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 4: Of treasure hidden in the desert. 772 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:53,160 Speaker 1: No. 773 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,520 Speaker 2: The man, Brandon Souls, was arrested last week on charge 774 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,400 Speaker 2: of false reporting to law enforcement. The police in Coolige, Arizona, 775 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 2: sudden Estate meant that outlined a scheme they believe was 776 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,400 Speaker 2: intended to get mister Soul's excuse what from his job 777 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,360 Speaker 2: at a drum roll Please. 778 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:14,960 Speaker 1: Symphony orchestra store, tire store symphony orchestra. 779 00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 2: He's doing, He's doing like he's the president of the 780 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 2: United States. 781 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:26,880 Speaker 4: Level deception. Stop working at the tire store. He can't 782 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,160 Speaker 4: just tell the tire story. He's sick for a day 783 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,840 Speaker 4: he got out of work for They could. 784 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 5: Literally say, you have COVID, I mean the. 785 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 4: Easiest Yes, absolutely, this is a case. 786 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,759 Speaker 2: This kid's he's nineteen, Okay, he just thought there was 787 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 2: no other way to do that. 788 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,879 Speaker 5: Doesn't this just sound like the plot of like super Bad? 789 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,120 Speaker 5: I mean to me, this just sounds like every two 790 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:53,120 Speaker 5: mid two thousand's like college. We literally I just watched 791 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,640 Speaker 5: the movie Accepted, where they fake an entire college. This 792 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,879 Speaker 5: just sounds like the plot to this movie. That's Scotti, right, 793 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:00,880 Speaker 5: that's perfect. 794 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,720 Speaker 1: I'm in I know it really is. It'll be called tired, 795 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,640 Speaker 1: and then it'll that. 796 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,800 Speaker 2: The police were first called at about five twenty five pm, 797 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:14,800 Speaker 2: right after quittin time. 798 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: Right after quittin time, my favorite time of the day. 799 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,719 Speaker 2: He's like, okay, I got it. Now it's the time 800 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,480 Speaker 2: to tie myself up. On February ten, when officers responded 801 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,040 Speaker 2: to a report about an injured man in an area 802 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:30,280 Speaker 2: near train tracks houses in city water tower in Coolidge, 803 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,800 Speaker 2: a city of about thirteen thousand people, pretty big, fifty 804 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,279 Speaker 2: five miles outside Phoenix, The caller reported that the man 805 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,880 Speaker 2: was going in and out of consciousness. When the officers arrived, 806 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,480 Speaker 2: they found a man later identified as mister Souls with 807 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:49,240 Speaker 2: his hands bound behind his back by a belt. Yeah, 808 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 2: stuffed in his mouth according to the police. 809 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,520 Speaker 4: And then they have a photo. We'll post the photo. 810 00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:00,840 Speaker 2: Mister Souls told officers that after completing an that morning, 811 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 2: he'd returned to his home where two masked men abducted 812 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,840 Speaker 2: him near his vehicle, struck him in the back of 813 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,959 Speaker 2: his head, knocked him unconscious. The men, according to mister 814 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,319 Speaker 2: Soule's quote, drove him around in a vehicle before they 815 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,560 Speaker 2: left in the area where he was found. 816 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,720 Speaker 1: Okay, classic kidnapping. When they drop you right back off, 817 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,040 Speaker 1: that's always how a good kidnapping goes. Give him a 818 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:24,600 Speaker 1: little toward the neighborhood, Darkia where we started. 819 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,799 Speaker 2: He told investigators that he had been kidnapped because his 820 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 2: father had a large amount of money. 821 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 4: Wow throughout the desert cool. 822 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,840 Speaker 2: And then for days, detectives tried to investigate his account, 823 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,920 Speaker 2: including by reviewing surveillance video of the airy interviewing people 824 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 2: he mentioned. Hospital records showed that mister Soul had no 825 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 2: concussion or injury to his head, and a police report 826 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,440 Speaker 2: said and text messages reviewed by the detectives to not 827 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,759 Speaker 2: show messages or phone calls that had been described. Eventually, 828 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,400 Speaker 2: and after repeatedly confronting mister Souls with problems in his account, 829 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 2: the detectives colluded that was fabricated and no kidnapping or 830 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,160 Speaker 2: saw it occurred. They also determined that the account of 831 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:07,840 Speaker 2: hidden treasure was false. So this idea that his father 832 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,879 Speaker 2: has hidden treasure in the desert somewhat. 833 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,040 Speaker 4: Bigger, the law easier to believe. 834 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,400 Speaker 1: Everybody knows that you got to swing for the fences 835 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,080 Speaker 1: when you're lying. 836 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,080 Speaker 4: God, I mean, really do. 837 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,600 Speaker 5: You think he was? But was he sitting like that 838 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 5: all day? Like? Is that what he did on his day? 839 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 4: Offer? 840 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,560 Speaker 5: At five oh five? You know what I mean, he's like, 841 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,800 Speaker 5: I'd rather just be with the gag in my mouth 842 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,040 Speaker 5: or was it at five oh five? He did it? 843 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,560 Speaker 5: And he's like, all right, gotta go time myself, you know, 844 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:34,240 Speaker 5: Like did. 845 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,399 Speaker 4: He he he played video game? It was a five 846 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,719 Speaker 4: or five. I think it was a five oh five. 847 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,160 Speaker 2: He was just like, all right, well work's over, got 848 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,319 Speaker 2: out of that, might as well go get myself kidnapped nap. 849 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:45,359 Speaker 4: Did you guys? 850 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,920 Speaker 5: Did you guys ever hear the story of the guy 851 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,960 Speaker 5: who killed his parents so he could have a party. Yes, 852 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,040 Speaker 5: that was crazy, and he like got really drunk at 853 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,600 Speaker 5: his own party. He was in high school and then 854 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,960 Speaker 5: he told his friend like, my parents are dead in 855 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,040 Speaker 5: the room, but I wanted to have a party. 856 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, but yeah, but it was a toga party. 857 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,960 Speaker 1: You know, it's pretty cool. It was a pretty good time. 858 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,840 Speaker 1: That happens a lot. We actually get a lot of 859 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,120 Speaker 1: those stories. There's a there's another one that we'll have 860 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,800 Speaker 1: to pull up for a future episode about It was 861 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 1: a very similar story about a guy that like said 862 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,239 Speaker 1: that he got kidnapped, but then he just went to 863 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,200 Speaker 1: a bachelor party with his friends. He just didn't want 864 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,719 Speaker 1: his wife to know what he was doing, and she 865 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,959 Speaker 1: was like, we figured it out, Bud. Like I've said 866 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,440 Speaker 1: this before on the podcast, and writers always do this. 867 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:37,840 Speaker 1: Kidnapping is like such a crazy felony, and every comedy writer's. 868 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,160 Speaker 4: Like, how do we get them to this party? 869 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,880 Speaker 1: They're like, kidnapping, we pull up in a van, we 870 00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,240 Speaker 1: grab like it is such a serious crime. And also, 871 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,279 Speaker 1: why is it called kidnapping for adults? We need a 872 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 1: better word. 873 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:53,840 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I was just I was just on dumb 874 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,640 Speaker 2: people town and they were talking about that should be 875 00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:57,560 Speaker 2: adult nabbing. 876 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,320 Speaker 4: Yeah nabbing not na happened. 877 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:05,360 Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. So this guy, hold on, he worked 878 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,880 Speaker 1: the whole day and then no trying to get off 879 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:08,520 Speaker 1: the next day. 880 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,719 Speaker 4: No, he took off that day and then for an excuse, 881 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:12,920 Speaker 4: I think I five. I don't know. 882 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,359 Speaker 2: This sounds like maybe a meth thing. Sounds like drugs 883 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,560 Speaker 2: are involved because my but I had a friend. 884 00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:18,759 Speaker 4: I had a friend. 885 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 2: I'm not mentioning any names in this story. He was 886 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:31,840 Speaker 2: married to Pomeranian and him and him and mc chia 887 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:35,680 Speaker 2: while we're out one night, so my friends, two of 888 00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,080 Speaker 2: my friends were married together. 889 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,239 Speaker 4: I actually had married them. One night. 890 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,040 Speaker 2: One night he went out and just was just doing 891 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 2: coke all night for like and then it just turned 892 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,960 Speaker 2: into like the next night, oh night. It was one 893 00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 2: of those like three day binges, and I think the 894 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,399 Speaker 2: third day, yeah, he was like started to come down 895 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,560 Speaker 2: and was like I've have I done, Like I've been 896 00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:06,440 Speaker 2: gone for three days. So at that point called my 897 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:10,440 Speaker 2: friend and was like I was kidnapped. 898 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:13,399 Speaker 4: And everyone, and then she. 899 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,919 Speaker 1: Was just like what his were they married at the time. 900 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,480 Speaker 2: He disappears for three days and then tells her that 901 00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:26,400 Speaker 2: he was kidnapped and then just comes home like and 902 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,359 Speaker 2: like makes up this fucking story of. 903 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:37,600 Speaker 5: Being so nineties. I love that though with cod you 904 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:45,520 Speaker 5: know why, I wish sometimes but sometimes divorced, Oh, I 905 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,000 Speaker 5: wish they did make it. Sometimes I wish I was. 906 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 5: I know, sometimes I wish I was that kind of person. 907 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,440 Speaker 5: I'm a little too rational, and I sometimes think it'd 908 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,359 Speaker 5: be really fun to just speak before I think and 909 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,960 Speaker 5: then just deal with it. Like how fun those people 910 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 5: are fun. I mean, they're wild cards, wild cards. I'm 911 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,920 Speaker 5: too safe and rational. But I love that people are 912 00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:11,200 Speaker 5: like that. 913 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:16,280 Speaker 1: Yes, you're honest, you are an honest person. And also 914 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:21,080 Speaker 1: for like that for your friend Kurt, don't lie, don't 915 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 1: do that. Just start the phone conversation with this, Hey, 916 00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,840 Speaker 1: so I did the stupidest thing and I am so sorry, 917 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:31,319 Speaker 1: and I'm going to tell you about it. And then 918 00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,760 Speaker 1: they go, oh, what is it? And then you work 919 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:38,239 Speaker 1: it out from there. Just admit that you are the 920 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,759 Speaker 1: dumbest person in the world. It won't happen again, and 921 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,279 Speaker 1: then everything's negotiable after that. 922 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,360 Speaker 2: And to be clear, I was friends with the person 923 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,479 Speaker 2: who was lied to, not the person doing the lying 924 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,239 Speaker 2: about the kidneys with me. 925 00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,880 Speaker 1: With me, you said that I know you're talking about. 926 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,279 Speaker 1: Now that you said that, I'm not going to say 927 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,320 Speaker 1: who it is, but I know who you're talking about. 928 00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,840 Speaker 1: Oh that's so good, I think. Yeah, I don't know 929 00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,840 Speaker 1: if I would ever like that's just crazy to get 930 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:12,080 Speaker 1: out of work like that, Like how it's just for work. 931 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,000 Speaker 2: It's for one day work. It wasn't a week, it 932 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,319 Speaker 2: wasn't a month, it was one day. 933 00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,600 Speaker 1: I when I was like a seventh grader or an 934 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,799 Speaker 1: eighth grader, I was pretty young, and we had a 935 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,640 Speaker 1: teacher that had a baby. We had a math teacher 936 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,920 Speaker 1: of a baby. It was like algebra pre algebra or 937 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 1: something like that. And the woman they brought in the 938 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:33,200 Speaker 1: new teacher was one of the oddest people I've ever 939 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,400 Speaker 1: met in my life. She was probably there for a 940 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,479 Speaker 1: month or two months. She was probably around eighty years old. 941 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,720 Speaker 1: She had a red wig, she had like a missing 942 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:47,080 Speaker 1: like canine tooth, uh, and she she would just talk 943 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,359 Speaker 1: about horses and stuff. She was very fascinating. Never learned 944 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,160 Speaker 1: any of our names. We you know, you do that 945 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,160 Speaker 1: thing where you're like, haha, we'll say different names. She 946 00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:59,160 Speaker 1: never even did attendance, never did role, and I don't 947 00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:03,560 Speaker 1: remember her ever teach. So during that class, there was 948 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,719 Speaker 1: another kid, one of my best friends. He was like, yo, 949 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,640 Speaker 1: we should just not go and I was like, great plan. 950 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,520 Speaker 1: So we cut school. We just that one class, and 951 00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,080 Speaker 1: I really had never done that before. And I was 952 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,920 Speaker 1: a kid, so I don't have anything, literally nothing in 953 00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,000 Speaker 1: my pockets. I don't own a wallet, I have zero 954 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 1: dollars on me. I'm a child in a school uniform. 955 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,160 Speaker 1: And so we left. We snuck out, and we ran 956 00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,719 Speaker 1: through the trees on our little campus at Sacred Heart, 957 00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 1: and then we walked this road and we went to 958 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,799 Speaker 1: a grocery store called Santoni's, and we went to a 959 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:37,440 Speaker 1: place called in a Nutshell that had like roasted peanuts 960 00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,000 Speaker 1: and greeting cards. And then we got bored. After twenty 961 00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 1: minutes of not being able to buy anything or do anything. 962 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,440 Speaker 1: We had no plan. Our plan was just cut class, 963 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:50,799 Speaker 1: and so then we were like, uh, well, we got 964 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,200 Speaker 1: to go back to home room by the end of 965 00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,319 Speaker 1: the day, and we have somebody's mom is picking us up, 966 00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,799 Speaker 1: so we just went back. So then I walked into 967 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,000 Speaker 1: math class while it was still going on total round 968 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,480 Speaker 1: trip time thirty minutes of cutting school because we just 969 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:05,480 Speaker 1: had nothing to do. We had no plan. And so 970 00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,839 Speaker 1: I walk in and the teacher goes, well, where are 971 00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,440 Speaker 1: you coming from? And I go, oh, I was at 972 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,239 Speaker 1: the in the bathroom. And she goes where are you 973 00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:17,239 Speaker 1: and I go yes, and she goes, well, you're late 974 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,600 Speaker 1: to class and I go yeah, I'm sorry, and she 975 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,000 Speaker 1: goes come up here, and I was like, oh shit. 976 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:27,840 Speaker 1: I was like, here it comes. I'm about to get detention, suspended, expelled. 977 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:30,200 Speaker 1: Like maybe she's a spy, Maybe this has all been 978 00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,680 Speaker 1: an act that she's the bumbling idiot. 979 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,600 Speaker 4: Yeah she was in a nutshell. 980 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, she was at in a nutshell, just looking over 981 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:42,240 Speaker 1: Hallmark cards and smelling honey roasted peanuts. And she goes 982 00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,239 Speaker 1: stand right next to me and face the class, and 983 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,560 Speaker 1: I said okay, and she goes say the say the 984 00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:53,279 Speaker 1: pledge of allegiance. So I put my hand on my 985 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,440 Speaker 1: heart and I said the entire pledge of allegiance and 986 00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,840 Speaker 1: she goes, no, go sit down. So my punishment was 987 00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,960 Speaker 1: I just said to say the pledge of allegiance and 988 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,640 Speaker 1: then didn't get in trouble. Nobody got caught. No principles 989 00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,560 Speaker 1: or vice principles were alerted. It was a victimless crime. 990 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:10,840 Speaker 2: Honestly, I feel like that that teacher was winging it. 991 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,560 Speaker 2: Oh for sure, you know something, get up here? And 992 00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:16,200 Speaker 2: then it's like, fuck, what am I going to do 993 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:23,279 Speaker 2: with him up here? A say the pledge of allegiance? 994 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,440 Speaker 4: I would have. 995 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,280 Speaker 5: Scared the shit out of me in seventh grade. 996 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,120 Speaker 1: Oh, I was busted. I was sweating bullets and then 997 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:35,040 Speaker 1: I But the other thing is is like to your point, Kurt, 998 00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:38,879 Speaker 1: I actually think that she probably was thinking, I've never 999 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,480 Speaker 1: seen this child before in my life. I don't know 1000 00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,040 Speaker 1: why this boy walked into my class. He might not 1001 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,640 Speaker 1: be he might not be a student in this school. 1002 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,879 Speaker 1: What's something I can remember? And then but I thank 1003 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,280 Speaker 1: god I used to I nail that pledge of allegiance. 1004 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:55,040 Speaker 5: Changed. 1005 00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:01,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, Now, whenever I do something wrong, I just exactly 1006 00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,160 Speaker 1: where I am. Oh you guys want one. 1007 00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:08,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, just tease us and let's wrap this puppy up. 1008 00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:14,480 Speaker 1: Well, let's wrap it uptight, hmm. In that case, three 1009 00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:22,120 Speaker 1: kids kicked out of Catholic school over mother's only fan account. Yes, 1010 00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:26,520 Speaker 1: oh yes, Oh no. 1011 00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:27,480 Speaker 4: Is this the woman. 1012 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,480 Speaker 2: I just heard that there was a woman on this 1013 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,920 Speaker 2: American Life recently. I think she only had two kids though, 1014 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,960 Speaker 2: who was like trying to do her like porn during 1015 00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:38,960 Speaker 2: pandemic with the kids at home. 1016 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,400 Speaker 4: And it was like, yeah, crazy, it was a crazy story. 1017 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead, let's go. Okay, here we go. Crystal 1018 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,560 Speaker 1: and Chris Jackson. Oh, it was written by the one 1019 00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:51,600 Speaker 1: and only Melanie Wingo. She's the best you've ever heard of. 1020 00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:55,200 Speaker 1: It was sentenced by ducky dank babe. If you're not 1021 00:52:55,400 --> 00:53:00,000 Speaker 1: ducky dank babe, go fuck yourself. Crystal and Chris Jackson 1022 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,080 Speaker 1: and we're told that their three sons were no longer 1023 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,440 Speaker 1: allowed to attend Sacramento's Sacred Heart where I went to school, 1024 00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:10,760 Speaker 1: but in Baltimore Paris School because of Crystal's only fan account. So, Madelin, 1025 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:16,239 Speaker 1: I know you make you're also an influencer. You have 1026 00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,759 Speaker 1: an only fan, you don't have an only fans, but 1027 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,839 Speaker 1: you know you know how to monetize internet things. It's 1028 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,200 Speaker 1: part of the biz. 1029 00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, isn't that super faux pas these days? 1030 00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,600 Speaker 5: To uh hate on sex work? 1031 00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:32,480 Speaker 1: I agree? 1032 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:36,840 Speaker 2: And they're still cranking it out. 1033 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:40,839 Speaker 1: The love they hate everybody. But anyways, so you'll these 1034 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:45,160 Speaker 1: figures are going these monetary figures are gonna You're gonna 1035 00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,920 Speaker 1: be impressed. The couple said they started the Only Fans 1036 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:52,000 Speaker 1: account to rekindle their relationship after Crystal went through early menopause. 1037 00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:55,440 Speaker 1: They then realized that her quote, pin up model style 1038 00:53:55,520 --> 00:54:00,840 Speaker 1: photos and sexy stories did more than just rebuild her confidence. 1039 00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:06,000 Speaker 1: The couple started pulling in one hundred and fifty thousand 1040 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:10,600 Speaker 1: dollars from their daily posts, but when the parents at 1041 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,200 Speaker 1: the Sacred Heart School caught wind of their side hustle, 1042 00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:16,920 Speaker 1: things got sticky. That's a bad writing. That's bad writing. 1043 00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:21,399 Speaker 1: Melanie Wingo still the best in this. The Jackson's claim 1044 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,279 Speaker 1: the other parents send pictures to the school's principal snitches. 1045 00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,200 Speaker 4: That's bullshit. 1046 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:29,440 Speaker 5: A kid, kid's dad for sure saw this. 1047 00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:34,000 Speaker 1: That's it. Somebody was googling her late night crazy. I 1048 00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:35,120 Speaker 1: should be suspended. 1049 00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, that guy should beat those kids. Kids should be 1050 00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:38,000 Speaker 4: out yeh. 1051 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,080 Speaker 1: Suspend those kids with the snitches. Get everybody out of there. 1052 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,200 Speaker 1: The confession exists for a reason. The Jackson's claim the 1053 00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,560 Speaker 1: other parents send pictures of the school principal. The couple 1054 00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:50,400 Speaker 1: also did an interview explaining their lifestyle. Armed with these 1055 00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:53,400 Speaker 1: two pieces of evidence, the Sacred Heart Parish requested that 1056 00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:56,200 Speaker 1: the Jackson's quote find another school unquote that didn't. 1057 00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:57,160 Speaker 4: It's so insane. 1058 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,000 Speaker 2: It's just like, oh that it makes me so furious. 1059 00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:05,440 Speaker 2: Jesus is like best buds, most of whom were prostitutes. 1060 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:09,520 Speaker 2: Like yes, Mary maclen, you fucking she washed his feet, 1061 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:10,359 Speaker 2: he washed her feet. 1062 00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,120 Speaker 4: Critical pieces of shit. 1063 00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:16,200 Speaker 5: Wait, yes, one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. You didn't 1064 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:17,040 Speaker 5: say a day, did you? 1065 00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:20,000 Speaker 1: Just a month? Her daily videos and that's what they're 1066 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,400 Speaker 1: making a month. Sorry, At first they're making fifteen thousand, 1067 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,480 Speaker 1: then they jumped up to one hundred and fifty thousand. 1068 00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:28,200 Speaker 1: The woman is very attractive, but this is the kind 1069 00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:30,680 Speaker 1: of the most interesting thing is that most of the 1070 00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:33,440 Speaker 1: videos that the biggest hits were her shopping like her 1071 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,640 Speaker 1: in a grocery store, being the woman next door. Those 1072 00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:41,239 Speaker 1: were the most popular photos and videos. And yes, see 1073 00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:42,680 Speaker 1: you if you're. 1074 00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:46,640 Speaker 2: A school, that's they're making one hundred and fifty thousand dollars 1075 00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:47,040 Speaker 2: a month. 1076 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:51,719 Speaker 4: Yeah, lesson, we need a new gym. Yeah, you can 1077 00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:56,200 Speaker 4: help out a little bit donation. Yes, they're making over 1078 00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:57,759 Speaker 4: a million dollars a year. 1079 00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the body of Christ and uh, we 1080 00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,040 Speaker 1: need a rectory pronto. 1081 00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,439 Speaker 4: But uh, Crystal, so the kids got there. 1082 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,399 Speaker 1: It is the same story, Kirk, because they're actually all 1083 00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:13,200 Speaker 1: three She's three sons. She says, I'm the same Crystal 1084 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,560 Speaker 1: like I was two years ago. Uh, when we had 1085 00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,759 Speaker 1: coffee and before you knew this. Now you're just judging me. 1086 00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:19,800 Speaker 1: The family is now in search of a new school 1087 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,040 Speaker 1: and a new church. Community sucks. 1088 00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:24,120 Speaker 4: That sucks. 1089 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:26,799 Speaker 1: The rich the pay site, yeah, they're so rich. That's 1090 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,920 Speaker 1: the other thing too. Just put your kids in space college. 1091 00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:36,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, just homes homeschool. Everyone gets a tesla. Like you know, 1092 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,839 Speaker 5: half those boys at that school are like subscribing now 1093 00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,080 Speaker 5: to the mom's only fans, Like I. 1094 00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:45,279 Speaker 4: Mean, like that's one way to bring perfect attention. 1095 00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:48,160 Speaker 5: Business, bring more business. Yeah, I mean I don't know. 1096 00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:48,799 Speaker 1: That's cool. 1097 00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't want my mom to have an only fans. 1098 00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:53,120 Speaker 5: That's because I don't want it. My parents don't even 1099 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,759 Speaker 5: know how to use email. But like, thank god, I 1100 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,279 Speaker 5: mean thank god, but like great for them. If the 1101 00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,759 Speaker 5: if the family doesn't care and she's just shopping, it's 1102 00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:02,560 Speaker 5: like a Patreon. 1103 00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:05,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, and you have to pay for that. 1104 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,759 Speaker 1: You have to pay for the content. It's not like 1105 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,120 Speaker 1: she's just throwing it all up on porn Hub or 1106 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,840 Speaker 1: something like oh Willy Nilly is. She is a businesswoman. 1107 00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:17,040 Speaker 1: It's a shame. It's been such a pleasure to have 1108 00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:18,680 Speaker 1: you on The Bananas Podcast. 1109 00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:22,240 Speaker 5: Thank you guys so much bringing fun, random stories to me. 1110 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:24,960 Speaker 1: Thank you for teaching us about TikTok. 1111 00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:27,479 Speaker 5: That's a whole other episode if you want. 1112 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:29,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll do a whold on one. 1113 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:40,000 Speaker 6: Curtie b It's got it, Bana Banana. 1114 00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,880 Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production, produced and engineered 1115 00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:46,080 Speaker 1: by Katie Levine. 1116 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,720 Speaker 4: The music by Kahan, and all of our artwork is 1117 00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:49,880 Speaker 4: done by Travis Millard. 1118 00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,800 Speaker 1: You can follow us on Instagram at The Banana's Podcast, 1119 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,000 Speaker 1: where we post stories every day and things that we 1120 00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:56,480 Speaker 1: don't cover on the podcast. 1121 00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:59,960 Speaker 2: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, 1122 00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,080 Speaker 2: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast. 1123 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,480 Speaker 1: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email 1124 00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,479 Speaker 1: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's 1125 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:25,720 Speaker 1: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.